Fear.
The only thing that never seemed to touch him in her eyes. His presence always comforted her ever since that night. The night he risked his own life to save hers. The night Harry Potter saved the know it all Hermione Granger.
Harry Potter aka the Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, the Man Who Conquered, and etc. He was supposed to be the modern day fairy tale prince, but when you looked into his eyes all you could see was the tired and pained boy. He hid it in false smiles and hollow laughs, but she had seen eyes like his many times when her grandfather visited. The eyes that had seen the worst in the world and were forever scarred. The eyes too old and jaded to be on the face of her best friend who had barely reached majority.
When she looked into his eyes for the very first time, the fairy tale prince she saw in her dreams and read about in books breathed his last breath. The boy behind the fairy tale was the sad reality behind all the stories of heroes, princesses, and seemingly never ending adventures. The weight of the world was on the shoulders of these heroes and all they needed was one more tragedy to let it fall.
She couldn't call Harry a hero, because he deserved a happy ending. The reward all heroes chased after, but would never get.
They chased the wind.
Harry should just be Harry, but when did heroes ever get to choose their fate.
She stood by him as others came and went. She would pick him up when he fell and push him down if he ever got too high. She would be there when he went to save the innocent and vanquish those who would do them wrong.
And he would always be there never showing doubt, fear, or despair to those he felt he needed to protect from the horrors of the world.
So why?
Why didn't he let all of his fears, doubts, or worries out to her as she did to him?
Why didn't he realise that he didn't have to be a hero to her?
Why didn't he realise that he was just Harry to her even when he saved her?
Why did she have to find him in a cupboard under the stairs no longer able to cry as his tears already ran dry?
Why did her bestfriend go to the cupboard he was forced to live in as a child to cry?
Why was her bestfriend who was never scared, so terrified of leaving the safety of his cupboard?
He was supposed to be able to rely on her as she did him, but realization hit her like the killing curse when she realized why. Harry was the hero and didn't want to disappoint her.
Harry was ready for a life of tragedy and solitude to protect her and the other innocents, but she didn't want that. She didn't need that.
All that mattered to her anymore was Harry not the hero people wanted him to be. All she needed was Harry her bestfriend. She failed him once and she wasn't going to fail him again.
Screw the ones who hurt Harry.
Screw the innocent.
Screw fairy tales.
Screw heroes.
Screw fate.
Harry deserved his happy ending and she was going to give it to him.