I own (and live in) an old house where the ancient barangay of Sapa once stood proudly, a cup of coffee, and eight abusive cats, but I do not own Mai Hime.
This is set in the Mai Hime Destiny universe. I prefer to pertain to this as an experiment. A sudden shift in writing style, yes? Because I enjoy being random, because I've never tried writing in the first-person before, and because I'm bored to the point of ennui, I bring you another fanfic. Enjoy. Warning though: I have trouble writing as another character. Yes, I am as inflexible as a wooden pencil. So do forgive me if it's a bit OOC. Aha, but it's up to you to decide if its OOC or not.
I extend my deepest gratitude to Amanda, for those humor filled yet witty conversations. Maraming salamat sa iyo.
Therapeutic Ambiguities
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"Sit.", she said as she pointed towards the solitary chair in the middle of the room.
I had no qualms with what I did. I was merely exercising my right as a free individual. That orange-haired bastard, Muritake, was asking for it. It was an unmistakably villainous motion. She strutted towards me with her stilettos clicking the gleaming red floors, with a lecherous smile that matched those wanton eyes. Before I could even verbalize my refusal, I found myself being straddled by Muritake; her long curls all over my face, the bridge of her long nose touching my chin, and I could feel the heat of her desire spread on my thighs. Disgusted, I turned away from her with a scowl. She laughed impishly and licked my ears in response. Hmph! An odd response indeed. I assume that she must've thought that I found her irresistible.
I found her irresistible, alright. Irresistible to beat up! So while her hands unclasped the buttons of my blouse, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pinned her down with my weight. "Ooh…feeling dominant today, neh?", she said with a laugh. I grinned and nodded my head. Before she could even unclasp the last button of my blouse, I lifted her up and threw her across the room and—
"Muritake-san got twenty eight stitches on the head because of what you did. Even with the Nano-machines on, it will take her three days of rest to completely recover."
It was not my intention to open for forehead. I am not – and I was NEVER interested in seeing what's inside Murataki Shiki's head. I am positive that there's nothing in it. NOTHING AT ALL. It just so happened that she tried to break the fall with a summersault. I only wanted her to get six stitches. She was supposed to hit the wall, not fly out of the window. But Murataki, being the idiot that she was, had to breakfall. She just HAD to breakfall. So as she laughed out curses whilst twirling in the air like a yoyo free from its string, she forgot to hit the brakes and she twirled and twirled across the room, through the open window and out, out into the corridors, where her mouth and forehead met the cold, unforgiving cement.
'Think you've won?!' Twirl. Twirl. 'Slut. Bitch.' Twirl. Twirl. 'Conceited little prick. Die. Die. Diiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee—'
BLAG
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"Tea?"
I could sense her displeasure. It was just written all over Shizuru's face. I nodded in agreement. Aye, it was a heroic deed. I sent the devil back to the fiery depths of hell with twenty eight stitches on the head! Throwing her out of the window – INTENTIONALLY. Please do not forget the word 'INTENTIONALLY – was the noblest deed that I've ever done in my entire life!
Sure, I could've just slapped her, pulled her hair, and then screamed "You're a whore! A filthy, retarded whore!" into her ear. But that's not my job – that's her mother's job, and I certainly am not MOTHERLY. Scream out insults? Yeah, right. Sirs and madams, I suppose you are all enlightened enough to realize that sound waves vastly differ from laser beams. If screaming can imprint the word 'WHORE' into her brain, then I would've gladly shouted my lungs off two and a half hours ago. But the problem is: It just doesn't. It never works. You don't talk idiots into enlightenment - you punch their lights out.
"You do realize that this will result into a major deduction in your GWA."
Deduction? I'm getting punished for defending myself against a potential rapist? Horse shite. Has the planet gone mad?! I sought justice with my own hands – and I am the one being judged? They would rather have me raped? This is ridiculous – no! This is madness! Why?
"For throwing a classmate out of the window! What else?", Shizuru replied with a sarcastic laugh, answering my silent question.
Before I could even take a sip of my Jasmine tea, I felt Shizuru's delicate fingers on my cheek.
That's when everything began to sparkle like sequins – red ones, to be precise. I caught myself panting even though I was motionless.
Breath caught her between lips – eyes met eyes that showed me how her blood boiled with desire. I gasped as I felt her lips upon my own. My bones felt brittle, my legs turned into water, and stars seemed to have formed above us, and slowly, like the setting of the sun and the rising of the moon, supernovas engulfed us.
"I need you." I whispered into her ear. She hushed me with a kiss.
DING-DONG.
She moved away from me and I blushed in response. It's that damn bell again. One of these days – I SWEAR – One of these days, I'm going to have to end its tyranny. Yes, yes, maybe that sledgehammer in the janitor's closet will do-
"Natsuki"
"Yes,Shizuru?"
"It's time for you to go to class."
To be quite honest, I hate class. I HATE CLASS. But I love Shizuru and I'd do anything for her. So I bowed politely and took my leave.
-
Now, here was one class that I hated the most. Philosophy. I just hate every pretentious, slimy, drooling, cock-eyed bastard that sat with me in that small classroom. I hated the old busts of the great old men and women who perpetuated the collapse of rational time management. I should be at my room – spending my time wisely by catching up on all those sleepless term paper making nights or having cuddle sessions with Shizuru. But No! No! those pricks just had to question the purpose of life. They just had to question the existence of everything – from the pile of cow shit stuck on their foot to the snot that dangled on their nose hair. That, my friend, is without a doubt, idleness at its best.
How would such fiddles do me any good? So what if we all lived in some parallel universe after all or that some omnipotent God did create this lifetime for his own amusement? How would such disposable knowledge be of any use to me? And if I ever uncover all the mysteries of the universe – from the creation of life to the metaphysical hullabaloos like the mind is actually another being closely linked to our physical state, just as some cocaine pumped thinker 'theorized' – Would this knowledge befitting a god keep me free from hunger, sickness, thirst, or dysmenorrhea forever? I don't fucking think so.
It was very early in the morning and I was still sleepy. That little punch and Judy skit kept me awake for only a few minutes. In truth, I haven't grown accustomed to the impossible schedules of school. The minute I left Shizuru's presence, I felt every quart of energy and politeness drip out of my veins. So I melted on my chair and nodded my head out of sheer drowsiness.
My seat mate drooled over her chair. Whether it was out of sleepiness or brainlessness, I could not tell. Perhaps it was both. Anyway, I could not blame her. The usual conspirators of the class were once again turning our brains into mash with the shite that escaped their lips.
"B-but poverty is just a sign of bad governance. It is an omen! An omen – a sign that there has to be a change within the system."
"DAMN RIGHT! WE SHOULD JUST GUILLOTINE THOSE NOBLES– or the headmaster! Choose whoever you want to see dead first, but I beg you all to give me the honor of being the executioner.", my sarcastic classmate, Ezura, answered back. I laughed at the said statement while the teacher glowered at us.
"Actually, I agree with Ezura-san. This system has lasted for years and years and this whole triangle thing – with a handful of nobles on top, with the majority, the poor, down below, and with the forever equivocating middle class in between the clashing classes. "
"I beg your pardon, Basara," Another pretentious midget interrupted, "But DO NOT forget that this system has lasted successfully for years and years. It has the kept people alive up to now! Don't you think it's a rash act to retort to immediate change without even considering the consequences of this whole 'system change'?"
"DEAREST CLASSMATES, WE HAVE BEEN GRANTED BY OUR HIGHLY ESTEEMED COLLEAGUE, THE RIGHT AND POWER TO SLAP ANY POLITICIAN THAT YOU SEE ON THE STREET WITH CHICKEN LIVER AND PORK SPLEEN. DO EXERCISE YOUR CLASSMATE-GIVEN RIGHT THE MOMENT YOU SEE OUR HEADMASTER WALKING AROUND – ArghhhH!!"
My teacher pinched my classmate and sent her away silently. She snickered in response and hopped gaily out of the room while the wannabe philosophers laughed at her 'defeat'. Such fools. They did not realize that she had won after all. It was in her intention to get herself kicked out of the classroom. She hated that class as much as I did. I might have to copy her style someday.
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"Enough of this discussion. You will be given enough time and lessons in your upcoming political thought class and I know well that such a topic is not fit for this class. Now, let's go to the subject matter of this glorious morrow."
Glorious my itching ass.
"Neh, Natsuki…"
I don't know…sometimes I love her, sometimes she just annoys the hell out of me. She can be good company though. It'll be a big, fat lie to say that I didn't enjoy being with Mai-san – even though she can be a bright colored pest from time to time. She sat two chairs apart from me. I had to nudge my chair forward to hear her.
"What is it?"
She began to mumble something whilst covering her mouth with her right hand. I could've read her lips, but for fear of getting caught by the teacher, she kept covering her face with either her hand or her book.
"What? What? I can't hear you. I can't – Look. Mai, look. I can't-"
But she kept talking and talking as if she couldn't hear me.
"I can't hear you!"
"Kuga! Stand up!"
I did as I was told. No point arguing. All I could do was glare at Mai who by then was facing the blackboard and innocently reading her textbook. Had this been fighting class, I would've instantly jumped on Mai and strangled her until she was half dead. I suddenly wished I was still in Elementary school and the only punishment that I got every time I made a mistake was a deduction to my proud collection of smiling paper stars.
Everyone looked at me, eager for a response. I cleared my throat and the teacher raised a brow at me.
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"Kuga-san," she began in a grisly manner. By the look on her face I could tell that one more bloody blunder would send me to detention. "Ooro-kun wants to hear your view on the equality of the sexes.
Give me a fucking break. We're in high school already and we're still asserting gender or sex differences?!
I looked at Ryu Ooro. He and his boys were smiling cockily at me. His pathetic girlfriend kept chewing on her lower lip as if it were a piece of gum. I'd love to see these morons burn like firewood in hell one day. I never belittled people for traits that they were born with such as ethnicity, gender, or even ADHD. I resent people for what they make themselves. People aren't born assholes – they chose to be assholes, and by adapting the norms, values, and practically graduating with a doctorate on assholism, they become completely despicable and unworthy of my respect and attention.
The details are blurry…but from what I remember, Ryu insisted that men and women are unequal but balanced. Once again, I was presented with the good old biological argument. Cocksure that anything with numbers in it is worth mentioning, (I half expected him to say something about sperm count. Thank God that crap didn't fly out of his trap) he proceeded to tell me about how the left side of the brain is more active in males, and that the males grow more muscles than females.
I stood there, flabbergasted. You see, stupidity can be infectious. I felt at a complete loss of words. The room was flooded with so much testosterone, I almost grew a beard. I even had the urge to break beer bottles on my head. It was worse than getting screamed at by a monkey.
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When he finally finished with a pompous attempt at sarcasm: 'Punch em' in the ovaries.'
I opened my mouth to speak, but I was taken back by the glimmer of despise that grew in Ryu's girlfriend's eyes. She hated me just as her boyfriend did. I was supposed to say something empowering, something along the lines of: 'Stop acting like his whore and show him that you're also a human being!'
Shizuru had already consulted that girl about how…well, that not everything that society teaches us is right. She was under the protection of the Student Council, and Shizuru told her that she would not allow Ryu and his friends to lay even a finger on her. She resented Shizuru for that. She did not want Shizuru's protection. She didn't believe in any of those 'break the powerplay' ideas. I guess she was just happy with her position. She did not feel the need to be empowered, to be liberated from her dick-head boyfriend and his chauvinistic ideas. I guess…empowerment is also subjective in its context?
"I believe that despite the biological differences, males and females are equal. Eversince patriarchy has somehow weakened in our society, women have proven that they are also capable of doing what used to be considered 'male' jobs. And—"
"First of all, it's insane to dismiss the fact that there always is and there ALWAYS will be a dichotomy between the two sexes.", Ryu rudely butted in, "The male psyche is just completely different from the female psyche. First of all, in case you haven't taken up fifth grade biology class yet, allow me to inform you that there is a difference between testosterone and estrogen. Testosterone is responsible for the-"
"I'm well aware of what testosterone is and what estrogen is."
Packs of bastards were laughing at me. It's time to get sarcastic, I reckoned.
"I think an illustration of how it all works will help you understand. Imagine a caveman family."
Someone began to whistle the Flinstone's theme from behind the room. The teacher silenced the musical entity with a hiss.
"Imagine a cave man family."
"Yes, yes. I'm imagining it. Stop being so damn redundant"
"When the family gets attacked by a T-rex, the female of the species would grab her children and scram, while the father would stay and fight. That's the manly thing to do."
First of all, the analogy was just plain stupid. I couldn't help chuckling at the image of a hairy, almost cousin-Itt like pencil necked freak, wrestling a humongous dinosaur. There is a fine line that separates honorable suicide from dying stupidly. Secondly, even some of the boys in the classroom shook their heads in disagreement. Men weren't supposed to be all muscles but no brains.
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I was suddenly reminded of those Sunday Morning cartoons wherein abnormally muscular soldiers march through fiery battlefields of suicidal grenades and tetanus barb wire. They'd take out a whole battalion of skinny, brown guerillas with just one round of their colts and poke the eyes off of bolo wielding hukbalahaps(1) with their exposed, erect nipples. No one, and I mean, NO ONE spoke in those shows. Everyone just screamed their balls off. I don't know how these men were able to read their comrades emotions. They were always so fucking angry; the devil himself would crawl up his ass from fright. I suppose anyone who menstruated would not be able to tell their smile from their frown.
"PRIVATE!!! GET YOUR GUN HERE, YOU GET YOUR GUN HERE AND STAY HERE-"
"NO! NO! NO! CAPTAIN! NO! NO! NO! WE'LL BURN IN THIS SHITHOLE TOGETHER LIKE TWO FLAMING PIECES OF SHIT!"
"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! MOVE! MOVE! I'LL COVER YOU! MOVE! MOVE OR I'LL SHOOT YOUR FLAMING ASS WITH MY ZOOKA, YOU TWIT!"
"DAMN IT, CAP'N! I LOVE YOU! IT'S AN HONOR TO DIE BY YOUR SIDE!"
Had one of those men been a lean and clean man, this dialogue would've been considered a romantic gay scene. The protagonists of the series were so devoid of estrogen – In fact, I still find it hard to imagine that they were breastfed by some normal looking woman. They seemed to have suckled barrels of oil and luger upon their birth. Shit, imagine a muscular toddler. That bastard can punch a whole right through your knee.
I guess another factor that made those shows so masculine was all the gore. Despite the brazen, veined bodies of the protagonists, they were so damn soft. I remember an episode wherein one of the soldiers was stabbed on the left thigh with a barbecue stick by a guerrilla, and gallons of blood squirted out of the wound before a bone flew out of it.
I've shot a lot of morons already and believe me, they didn't bleed that much. But the people in that show…God. They bled enough blood to flood and sink the entire continent of Asia. You'd think they were water sprinklers whenever they got shot. Curiously, everyone in that show got shot a few good times, but no one died in the end.
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Anyway, I think that my laughter must've insulted Ryu and his band of brothers. They were quiet and their looks were stern.
"If you think that's bravery, well you're wrong. That's just plain old stupidity. Are you saying that the difference that sets the two sexes apart is that women are more logical than men?"
"On the contrary, self righteous one, it's just that the masculine instinct to protect-"
"Okay, let me get this straight. You'd rather get eaten by one of Spielberg's pets for the sake of male pride, than flee to a better and safer cave to raise your children. That's protection for you? Or is this perception of protection different for men and women?"
"Yes, it is different for men and-"
"Then what the hell are we still using the dictionary for? If we can't agree on a word's particular meaning, if meaning varies, then we should have a dictionary for men and a dictionary for women. But that would just make communication difficult, right?"
"It's the method of pro-"
"Wait. I'm not finished. How will you understand my point if you don't listen to it? The problem with you is that you seem to put everything about you on top. I'm only talking about you and your other drooling fanboys there. Yeah, you. Hey, wipe that drool off of your chin, dimwit."
"Kuga-san!", the teacher scolded me. Screw her. This moron was bashing me three minutes ago and she didn't do anything.
"Secondly, how can you be sure that this 'instinct' applies to all men? How can you be sure that all men are stupid enough to wrestle godzillas with their bare fists? Togo, would you fight a tyrannosaurus rex?"
"Not for all the jewels in the world. No!", my classmate replied. He chortled and gave me a thumbs up after he said his piece.
"See. The problem with you is that you generalize too much. You apply your twisted concepts of gender on everyone and you expect everyone to be just like you. Sorry, but not everyone grew up sucking his dad's dick."
He remained quiet for sometime. I saw his girlfriend pat his back. He brutally brushed the fragile hand aside and glowered at me.
"Generalize too much, eh? How about you. You keep using this whole concept of subjectivity, when you don't even respect my opinion!"
"Oh, I respect your opinion! I just don't want to hear it."
"That's enough! Kuga, Ooro! Don't turn this discussion as a ground for bad mouthing one another."
-
"Well, it's your fault." I told my teacher bluntly. Everyone sunk in their seats. They knew the teacher was about to kick my ass to kingdom come. I knew it too. But I just couldn't let this one pass. No.
"If only you weren't so keen in asserting the differences between boys and girls, then none of this would've happened."
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"Psst...Natsuki..."
It was Mai again.
"What the hell is it?!"
She threw a crumpled piece of paper at me. I unfolded it and read her message:
'Control you temper'
.XoXoXo.
Well…damn. I got more then I bargained for.
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Shizuru tried to help me. But she said I went too far this time. In truth, I've done worse shit in the past. I guess the teacher was just in a sour mood today. What an asshole. Ooro just got a few detention hours with that noisy Haruka. He's just going to get one hell of an earful from that loudmouth.
But me?
Oh, the horrors of all horrors. I always got the special treatment. They say it's because I'm genuinely troublesome.
It was not even daybreak yet and the morning chill penetrated inside your bones. Nevertheless, the discipline body didn't care; they wanted me to perform community service. The farm was located a few good miles away from the Academy. The school staff wanted to make sure that we freaks of nature were fed with the right kind of food. Hoshinomoya actually owned a farm. It was located at a valley between two lush mountains. Had this been a camping trip, I would've relished the cold mountain air, literally slurping it as if it were cucumber soup. Completely unprepared, (and also since I wanted to give the council the impression that I was invincible) I trudged across the mill in a thin, blue t-shirt, and my old grey jeans. Stupid, stupid me.
The farm was owned by a middle aged couple. Mr. Hiyashitsu Wang, whose name reminds me of dogs, was a stark man who spent most of his time inside his house. Mrs. Chihiyo Wang was a plump, tart tongued hag whose maiden name was said to have granted her a lifetime of resentment. She was often away, in contrast to her partner who desolated himself in his shabby little hut.
How they were able to provide the school with freshmilk still ranks as one of the world's greatest unsolved mysteries. You'd think the cows were highly civilized beings, capable of finding their own food, cooking caviar, and capable of milking themselves with those two lovebirds running the farm.
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I emerged, shivering underneath the shade of tall sepia trees, with four empty pails.
"That's right, that's right. That's what ya gits fer bein' a bad child, ya spawn of da' devil ya. Don't ya dare drop diz pails! Don't ya dare mess with mah cows or I'll sink my foot up your ass sooo hard, ya'll find it a chore ta shite fer weeks."
Was that the proper thing t o say to a teenage girl?! Talk about manners. If only I wasn't shivering like a toddler learning how to walk, I would've ringed the old man's neck. Fortunately for him, before I could come back with some smart ass reply, he returned to his house with a scowl.
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I had to milk the cows and that was what I did. So I went to the barn and started milking the cows until I had the two pails brimming with milk. While I was milking the darn cow, I heard what I thought were groans. I was at the peak of my sleepiness so I brushed the noises away. I began to consider sleeping on the haystacks.
I began to think of Shizuru again. I missed her. We really needed to go out on a date. Things were tough for the two of us with all those factions sprouting out from nowhere like worms.
"NGOoooooOooorroooooOOOooOOO"
There went that blasted groan again. I was half finished with my third pail of milk when the cow began to trash about and groan louder. The barn was dimly lit by a single oil lamp. Luckily, being the Girl Scout that I am, I brought my small flash light along with me. When I took my flashlight and beamed it on the shed, I got the surprise of my life.
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Mrs. Wang! I just milked Mrs. Wang!
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