Pre-Story Notes:
Well.

Here we go again. Let's hope I don't completely shit the bed this time, yeah?

This is a rewrite of my earlier work, RotN, by the way. Only this time with the cancerous fat cut off and discarded. I've learned a lot of lessons since I started RotN, and hopefully I'll be able to do it justice this time around.

A special thanks to luckychaos, Fission Battery, Dr. Doctor, and Alleydodger. You guys are great. Without your help and encouragement, this never would have happened. One couldn't hope for a better group of shitlords to post with.

So.

Let's get started, shall we?

Chapter 01 - Begin Again

With a furious grumble, he grabbed his spare pillow and threw it towards the bright light suddenly shining on his face, interrupting his sleep as it did so.

He was having a rough time at work lately, so much so that he'd actually fallen asleep fully dressed once he'd got home, complete with his blasted rain cloak still on! He really didn't need some asshole joker waking him by shining a flashlight right in his eyes on top of everything else!

"Fuck the hell off you mother-!" The man snarled furiously for a moment before he blinked at the sight before him.

As he opened his eyes to get a glimpse of the perpetrator, the man was stunned into silence by a glowing green orb of light hovering in the centre of his room.

The man blinked in confusion at the sight, then slowly rose from his bed to his somewhat above-average height, giving the glowing ball a cautious stare as he did so.

There didn't really seem to be much more to it, upon closer inspection.

Though…

He moved for the corner of his room, picking up his favourite sword, a Zombie Tools Hellion, and casually swung it over the top of the curious object. He'd expected it to suddenly fall to the ground as the surely transparent line suspending it was cut.

Nothing happened.

"What the fuck…" The sword-wielding man groused under his breath, still staring at the floating object.

It was then, in his half-asleep state, that he did something he'd surely never have done had he been fully aware right then.

With the tip of the sword, the man reached up from beneath his cloak, and poked it.

Immediately, the blade was stuck and drawn part-way in; and more importantly, his hand was stuck to the grip.

The pulling increased in force, the sword seemingly being consumed by the green orb, with him stuck to it.

He began to panic.

While thrashing around, trying to grab at something to pull himself free, he lashed out and took a hold of something at random, and in that moment he was quite violently torn off his feet and sucked into the light entirely.

Regret was a sensation he really wished he hadn't grown so accustomed to by then.

It took the man a beat to really process what had just occurred, and it wasn't until he slammed back-first into what felt like grassy earth that his brain started spooling up into overdrive mode.

The air around him was thick with fast dissipating smoke as he forced himself to his feet as quickly as possible; sword still in hand and now brandished before his person defensively.

The sounds of chattering were occurring all around him as he struggled to get his bearings-

...Wait, chattering? His roommate was gone on vacation, and…

Only then did the man notice that he was suddenly outdoors. In a bright, temperate location; despite that fact that it should have been a cold, rainy, Canadian autumn night.

He raised the primitive weapon warily, not sure of what would be revealed by the complete disappearance of the smoke… And a few seconds passed before the fumes were suddenly swept away, as if by a particularly strong gust of wind.

He'd flinched at the hard billowing gust, bracing himself with a hand raised to shield his eyes from the wind, the waterproof fabric of his cloak and his long dark brown hair whipping around him uncontrollably.

As soon as it stopped, he'd noticed that the speaking had also ceased. He immediately dropped his hand to see…

Once again, he owlishly blinked in confusion.

The man was surrounded, by what looked to be a shit-tonne of knock-off Harry Potter cosplayers. All wordlessly staring right at him, mouths agape.

Everyone was dead silent for a time, enough for him to blink a few more times and start glancing around, struggling to process all the new information-

[Is that a fucking dragon!?] He sharply thought to himself, as he noticed a massive blue scaled quadruped creature staring at him from behind the crowds, head tilted to the side and massive black eyes peering into his own. The huge, folded wings held up against its sides made it easy to identify the creature at a glance.

Movement out of the corner of the man's eye caught his attention-

[A fucking beholder!?] He internally screamed at the sight of a huge, floating eyeball hovering in place over the heads of the cosplayers-

As he was spinning in place, the man suddenly felt himself being tugged downwards by the front of his shirt, followed immediately by an incredibly soft sensation pressing against his lips, along with his nostrils being assaulted by what smelled like roses.

With yet another blink, he realised that he was staring at a pair of very tightly shut eyes for but a moment before the figure rapidly beat a hasty retreat. As the front of his shirt was released, it became clear that it was a girl- No, a young blonde woman with... purple eyes, who was rapidly turning bright crimson, and giving him a thoroughly conflicted look…

His brain finally processed what had just happened, and it was then that he finally spoke up.

"Did you just fucking kiss me-!?" He began, utterly stupefied.

The man's voice caught in his throat as a sharp, terrible burning sensation emerged on the back of his left hand. Lifting the limb up into view in a panic, he found… Runic symbols, searing themselves into his flesh.

His thoughts quickly turned incoherent as the pain intensified seemingly a thousandfold, and he found himself collapsing on the ground, clinging to his hellishly burning hand. If he was screaming, he wasn't aware of it, as all his brain power was focused entirely on the all-encompassing pain.

The pain which seemed to be lancing up his arm, through his veins, and all throughout his body.

The world became an indistinct blur as his mind was overloaded by the intense sensory input. Moments later, everything faded to darkness…

With a twitch of a brow, the man found himself fading in from sleep, a rather distinct sensation of a stinging discomfort lacing his body.

With a groan, he began to raise a hand to his face-

A distinctly unfamiliar voice suddenly spoke up from his side. "Ah! Y-you're awake!"

Immediately, his eyes shot open as everything came rushing back to him, and he found himself reflexively rolling off to the side away from the voice, very clumsily catching himself moments before slamming face-first into the cold stone-tiled floor beneath him, and leapt up to his feet in a mad rush.

On the other side of the bed was a tiny girl- no, a short young woman. Strawberry blonde hair, vibrant violet irises, sharp, and noble nordic features.

She was standing, half-leaning over the bed, her eyes wide as saucers, filled with concern of all things.

He might have found himself taken by her beauty had he not been in a state of panic right then.

"W-wait! Calm down!" She cried out, holding her arms out in a halting motion. "Please! We just rushed you to the infirmary, you may still be ill!"

Her mouth flaps were very noticeably not matching up with her words, like her speech was being lazily dubbed over in real-time, which did nothing to help his state of blind panic right then.

The man instinctively took a few alarmed steps back, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he whipped his face around the environment, barely taking anything in as he-

With a yelp, he found himself tumbling backwards, his back colliding with a soft surface as he briefly flailed his arms in a blind panic before realising he'd walked backwards into another bed.

"Calm yourself!" The tiny woman cried again in a dignified voice, running around the bed he'd been laid upon and jumping on his right arm in an apparent attempt to pin him down. "You might hurt yourself!" She declared while glaring at the man, her large violet eyes showing a distinct… concern?

At that, he found himself pausing, and a few moments passed as the man blinked, his mind now properly processing what was transpiring, and with each passing second his heart rate dropped, though the wariness hadn't faded at all.

"...Where…" He began haltingly, "...where am I? Who are you? What the hell is going on?" He inquired with no small amount of worry.

He noted just then, that his sword didn't seem to be within arm's reach. Also, that he distinctly remembered seeing a dragonand a beholder before he passed out-

His eyes widened as he immediately lifted his left hand to his face again… And saw what looked like nordic runes seared into his flesh, as if he'd been branded.

The girl visibly swallowed her anxiety, giving him a very disconcerted look. "...L-listen, we should go see Professor Colbert. He asked me to bring you to him once you were awake, and it may be best if he answers any questions you have himself." She advised nervously.

His heart rate had slowed considerably, and his breathing had returned to normal. The man glanced around the room again, this time with his wits about him.

It looked to be some sort of primitive medical infirmary. Dozens of beds set side-by-side running along both walls of a room, linen stacks resting atop every mattress, handsome wooden cabinets strategically placed around the room, large, old school windows allowing copious amounts of natural light to flood the space, brightly painted walls…

Yeah, definitely an infirmary, if a rather archaic, early modernish one.

He looked back at the tiny girl, making an attempt to pin him down by his bare, hairy arm which wouldn't have worked if he really wanted to stand back up.

She mentioned that this 'Professor Colbert' would answer his questions…

"Okay," The man started with a sigh, "bring me to this 'Colbert' then."

She remained still for a few seconds before slowly backing off of him and removing her miniscule body weight from his arm, and as she did so the man distinctly remembered that she'd just forced a kiss onto him moments before he'd passed out…

He shook his head as his cheeks started to turn red, and once the girl was off of him, he rose to his full height-

[Holy shit- fun-sized-!] He remarked internally as he just then noticed how short the girl was. She barely came up to his chin! She couldn't have been more than 5'0".

She seemed to notice the difference in their heights as well, if the way her eyes widened once he was flat on his feet and towering over her was any indication.

As he quickly gave her a once-over, he'd noted that she seemed to be dressed similarly to a Catholic School girl; a plain white long-sleeved button-down, dark gray skirt which came down to just above her knees, what seemed to be dark stockings or tights, and simple though finely made leather dress shoes.

Though rather than the expected crucifix, she had a gold- no, bronze talisman adorned with a simple pentagram, held in place at her collar with a red ribbon.

...Oh, and a dark gray woolen wizard's cloak.

Because dragons and beholders.

[There happen to be any dungeons around here as well?] He internally snarked to his own mild amusement.

The man shook his head.

[Right. Some kind of mage-in-training,] he supposed with a small internal sigh at even supposing such ridiculous things...

They both stood there, silent for a time. Now looking at her perfect, porcelain features, he couldn't help but feel heat rising to his face at the idea that this beautiful, tiny young woman had just kissed him not that long ago.

She seemed to notice his reaction to her features, if the way she started clearing her throat while obviously looking away from him was any indication.

"So, uh," she began with a stutter, "y-your cloak, coat and belongings are right there," she pointed at a coat rack, which indeed, his trusty black rain cloak and combat jacket were hanging from.

Also resting beside it was his sword and… The bag of aluminum cans he had been counting for recycling before going to work. Meaning the thing he'd grabbed while being pulled into the portal-thing had been...

[...Great.] He groused internally.

The girl paused for an awkward moment before continuing.

"Um, right, Professor Colbert… please, follow me."

Immediately, she turned on her heel and began marching down the path between the rows of beds, to a large double-doorway with a purpose.

Though he hesitated briefly, he quickly grabbed his cloak, coat, blade and... cans, before noticing a familiar weight in his pocket, his dead Vita, for all the good it'd do him. Falling into step behind her, he tossed the items on, more out of a force of habit than anything, and noted that there wasn't much he could do then and there besides following the gorgeous girl.

And so follow her he did.

"Ah, you're finally awake," the older blue-robed and bespectacled kindly looking chestnut-haired man started once the two stepped into what he could only describe as an alchemist's chambers.

He couldn't be more than 5'4", barely coming half-way up the taller man's nose.

"That is good. It was rather concerning, the way you collapsed into a hysterical, screaming pile during the summoning, you know," the older man lightly chided in what seemed to be a slightly playful manner, his chestnut eyes twinkling with mild amusement.

The taller man blinked owlishly at that, fighting back a snide remark at the robed fellow's statement, suppressing it into a sigh.

"Could… could we just skip to the part where somebody explains to me what's going on?" He asked wearily, already feeling completely burned out by everything that had happened so fast and without explanation.

The cute blonde had claimed a nice-looking wooden chair in front of the older man's desk, and sighed as well. "Professor, please," She breathed out in a wispy tone.

With a robed arm, the professor made a placating motion with his hands as he replied. "Right right, my apologies miss, I was merely attempting to lighten the mood."

Looking back at the newcomer, the wizard-looking man sighed himself.

"Well, we certainly seem to have gotten ourselves wrapped up in an interesting predicament, haven't we?" He asked, seemingly rhetorically. "Lady le Blanc summoning a foreign nobleman as her familiar, then acting on the pact before anyone had the chance to process what had just happened…"

The older man gave the young woman a sideways look, and she sheepishly looked away at a beaker full of a strange bubbling liquid.

Meanwhile, our intrepid hero was confused by being referred to as a 'nobleman…'

"This event is… rather unprecedented, I must say…" The apparent alchemist shook his head lightly. "Though I am getting ahead of himself, aren't I? Allow me to introduce myself; I am Professor Stephen Tyrone Colbert. Potions and applied Fire Magics teacher here at the Tristain Academy of Magic."

[...Wait, Magic- A dragon and beholder. Jesus Christ, was that- Was that green sphere a portal to another dimension of magic or something? And wait a minute, this 'Colbert' looks awfully familiar…] The cloaked man thought to himself as he started putting two-and-two together.

Colbert lightly bowed his head as he continued. "And this is…"

He motioned to the blonde, and she promptly stood from her seat with a look of embarrassment on her face.

"L-L-Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière!" She declared with a stutter. "P-pleased to make your acquaintance, good sir…" She curtsied rather cutely at that as she seemed to gather her wits.

The man glanced between the pair, and the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. From what he'd already seen of the locale while walking to the office with Louise… It seemed that he was in some manner of low-tech fantasy world, where cloaks seemed to be a symbol of nobility going off of context, meaning…

That's why he was being treated with such respect. They were under the impression that he was like them, a 'noble' because of his $30 military surplus rain cloak. If that were to change… No, that wouldn't do at all. Perhaps…

He bowed somewhat theatrically, directing his face to the ground to buy himself a few precious moments to think… "I am, Jophiel Pholus van Cazonium… the Second," The man said as he returned to his full height. "At your service."

The Archangel of Wisdom. No ironic hubris there at all, nope, no siree bob.

Both Louise and Colbert seemed pleased with his little show, and she returned to her seat in a rather dignified manner.

"Curious that you should say that, Lord… Pholus?" Colbert inquired, to which Jophiel nodded once. "Right, Lord Pholus. As I stated earlier, Lady le Blanc has summoned you as her guardian familiar, who-"

"I have no intention of forcing Lord Pholus into servitude," Louise suddenly and rather heatedly interjected, to his surprise and Colbert's apparent amusement.

"Well then, young Lady," Colbert began in a somewhat condescending tone. "Perhaps you should have thought twice before rushing forward to seal the pact with him-"

"I. Am. Not. Going, to treat him like an animal," the girl pointedly declared with a little more heat to her tone.

"Um," Jophiel spoke up, raising his hand. "What?"

Colbert sighed. "Traditionally, Lord Pholus, a Mage summons an animal during the beginning of their Second Forms-"

"And Lord Pholus is a human," Louise interjected again, giving Colbert a rather sharp look.

He merely sighed before continuing unabated. "-Which is bound to them by the Familiar Bond, a magical link which permanently ties a mage and creature together… and never before in all of the history of Halkeginia, has a human been summoned in the Familiar Summoning Ritual."

The older man removed the primitive glasses from his face and set them down on the desk in front of him to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"As you can guess, Lord Pholus, this… complicates matters."

Louise 'humphed' to the side, looked rather annoyed herself. "I disagree. The Founder's Laws make it perfectly clear that one is not to force one's fellow man into unlawful servitude, or treat one's fellow man as property, be they of noble or common breed," she asserted blandly.

Colbert deeply sighed again. "Complicates matters indeed."

Louise leaned forward combatively. "It seems rather simple to me-"

"Perhaps if you hadn't completed the ritual and marked Lord Pholus as your familiar, Lady le Blanc," Colbert interjected while gesturing to Jophiel's left hand-

[...Ah. So that's what those are…] Jophiel noted to himself, sparing the runes on the back of his palm a cursory glance.

"I panicked!" She asserted defensively. "I didn't know-"

"Stop stop stop stop stop!" Jophiel interjected hastily, while making a chopping motion between the two with his hand. "First off," he started, pointing to Colbert, "can I be sent back home?"

Colbert sighed quite warily. "No, young Sir. The Summoning ritual is strictly one-way, and no spell is known to return summoned creatures to their original domain."

Louise growled while Jophiel fought the urge to make a fist and start cursing like a sailor.

"Lord Pholus," Colbert began. "How would you feel about signing a contract, or pact with Lady le Blanc?"

Louise turned to look at Colbert sharply, but didn't otherwise speak up.

"It would satisfy the rules of the Summoning Ritual, being that it would result in you acting in Lady le Blanc's service, but you'd be signing into it willingly, and with whatever benefits you may be able to negotiate into the contract, which would surely satisfy the Lady's sense of honour, no?" He inquired, looking at Louise.

She looked a little skeptical as she replied. "That… might be acceptable," she allowed hesitantly.

Jophiel paused for a long while after that, eventually sighing deeply as he replied. "I…" he glanced at the window behind Colbert, and noted that it was quickly getting dark out. "It's rather late… is there any chance that we might conclude this meeting tomorrow? I… need some time to think about all this."

The two apparent mages gave him a long look, though eventually they both sighed and relented.

"Very well," Louise stated, sounding quite tense.

"I see nothing wrong with that, so long as we do conclude the arrangement tomorrow," Colbert noted simply. "It is important that Lady le Blanc confirm that she has a familiar as soon as possible, or…"

Louise very noticeably grimaced at that, but neither of them seemed to feel the need to fill Jophiel in on why, and he had his own concerns to worry about at that moment.

"Okay…" Jophiel said with a shrug, rather wanting the meeting to end so that he could leave and just… think. "So, where will I spend the night?"

Louise jolted up at that, looking like a deer in headlights while Colbert just looked all the more exhausted by the inquiry.

"That… is a very good question," the older fellow started as he leant back in his seat. "The servant's quarters or one of the spare infirmary beds would do, I imagine-"

Louise sounded positively aghast at the suggestions. "W-we cannot have a noble guest sleep with the servants or where the sick are kept! There are dedicated rooms meant specifically for visiting nobles to use!"

Colbert sighed again. "Except that Lord Pholus isn't technically a guest by the laws and customs of the Founder…"

Louise looked about ready to pop a blood vessel right then.

"Fine! Then he shall share my room for the night!" She heatedly declared.

[Wait, what.] Jophiel thought to himself with some surprise.

Colbert looked a little taken aback by that. "L-lady le Blanc, that would be highly inappropriate-"

"I will not have a noble guest spat upon in such direct defiance of the Founder's will! If the Academy will not treat him with appropriate guest rights, then I will!" She proclaimed as she forcefully stood from her seat and began stomping towards the door. "Lord Pholus, we will return here in the morning! Follow me!" She all but growled out as a command.

Despite the girl's small size, she managed to come across as rather intimidating right then, and not wanting to piss her off, Jophiel immediately followed her out of the office without turning to address Colbert on their way out.

"…So, this one's my room." Louise stated as the two stood outside a handsome wood paneled door in a luxuriously decorated hall.

It was becoming very clear very quickly that the place was indeed some manner of very high-class establishment… though Jophiel was more focused on thoughts of… everything pertaining to his situation such as it was.

"Do you want to go to bed now, or…" She began quietly. "Well, you were unconscious for a long while, I wouldn't imagine you'd be all that tired all things considered…"

"I…" Jophiel halted. "Would like the opportunity to be alone for a time," the much larger man said warily. "I believe I should be able to find my way back here when I'm ready to turn in… If you're truly okay with letting me-"

"I promised you guest rights!" The tiny girl all but snarled. "I do not make promises I've no intention of keeping!"

Jophiel raised his hands in a placating gesture at the furious response. "O-okay, okay! I'll… Uh…"

Louise's nostrils flared for a moment as she seemed to be doing a breathing exercise to calm herself. "…I will arrange the sofa to be more comfortable for a night's rest…" She glanced back at him, giving him a quick once-over and grimacing. "Or as comfortable as it can be for someone whose legs will be hanging over the side…"

Jophiel shrugged. "It's fine… I appreciate the gesture either way. It's more than that Professor was willing to do for me, apparently."

She scoffed at that as she opened her door. "'Not a noble guest…' borderline blasphemy…!"

Immediately, Jophiel felt a chill down his spine. Was he in a religious fundamentalist fantasy world? "…What was that about, anyways?"

Louise looked contemplative, then shrugged. "I will inform you tomorrow. It is rather late for me by now, and I have a sleeping schedule I'd rather not break."

Jophiel nodded and stepped back from the door. "Then sleep well Lady le Blanc, I will attempt to avoid waking you when I return from my… walk."

She simply nodded once. "Very well. I will take whatever you don't need for the night now then, unless you intend to carry your sword and that bag around the school grounds?"

Jophiel nervously chuckled at that before handing her the blade and sack of cans. "The sword is expensive, please be careful with it."

"I am no stranger to such weapons, and I know to treat a fellow noble's belongings with respect," she asserted while taking the objects, noticeably looking surprised at how light the bag was. "I will keep the door unlocked. I'll trust you to be quiet when you return for the night. I will talk to you tomorrow, Lord Pholus."

With a parting nod, Louise stepped inside and closed the door behind her, leaving him standing alone in the long, luxurious, and dimly-lit hallway.

Familiars. Robes. Cloaks. Wizarding schools. Nobody's speech matching up with the movement of their mouths, almost as if they were... being dubbed over...

[...Translation magic, huh?] Jophiel silently noted to himself, which caused the gravity of his situation to hit him all the harder.

After a few moments, he allowed himself to speak freely for the first time since he'd awoken in that place.

"Holy mother of fuck, what fresh hell have I gotten myself into this time…"