An: now that's it's switched over to January 12th in Germany, I can officially wish my dearest FloraOne a HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Since I failed miserably at finishing her last birthday fic in time for this birthday, I managed this little piece of...ridiculousness lol she asked for SM/Mamoru interaction with a dash of Kobayashi thrown in, so here you go, love 333 thank you for every, single thing you do, and today (and everyday, really) I celebrate you! I can't wait to see you in two months and I hope your day is as wonderful as you 333333
I hope you all enjoy, and please let me know what you think of this borderline crack fic xD
oOo
It was a quiet day at Keio University Hospital's emergency room. Which was good. Mamoru liked quiet. And the ER so seldom provided the chance to sit down for two minutes, let alone manage to eat anything resembling a meal, or even just a moment of peace.
"God, it's quiet today," Kobayashi sighed, slipping down into the chair next to Mamoru at the nurse's station while they waited for something, anything, to happen.
Mamoru took a long sip of his coffee, not even bothering to look over at his fellow resident friend. "Don't complain. The alternative could be much, much worse."
He could feel Kobayashi smiling at him. "Isn't that kind of what we're here for, though? Ya know, the whole point of residency? Learning stuff?"
Mamoru snorted softly into his cup. "After that crane accident last week, I'm ok with not learning anything else for a while."
"Oh, come on, Mamoru. Where's your sense of adventure?" Kobayashi teased him with a clap on the back.
Mamoru rolled his eyes, biting back a when you've died multiple times, adventure isn't all it's cracked up to be.
But before he could come up with an appropriate, equally sarcastic and biting, response, a blood curdling scream rang out that sent ice through is veins.
He jumped up immediately, years old instinct kicking in as he flew over the desk, not even stopping to process Kobayashi's impressed cry of surprise. He dodged nurses and doctors and even some patients fleeing from the impending doom in the opposite direction.
Good he thought the less people in the way the better.
"Mamoru, wait!" Kobayashi called after him, apparently struggling to keep up.
But Mamoru didn't slow. He could hear crashes and booms and roars and screams. He knew what that meant. One didn't live in Tokyo and not know what that meant.
These things happened occasionally. Anomalies, Amy had said, of residual energy from this enemy or another. Mostly weak, and mostly just annoying, but needing to be addressed obviously.
He stopped just ten feet shy of the set of double doors that led out to the waiting room, turning to yell at his friend, "Run! Go make sure the patients are safe!"
Kobayashi finally caught up with him, breath heaving from the effort of running down the long corridor at break neck speed. He looked at Mamoru as if he'd grown a few extra heads.
"Are you kidding me?! You think I'm just going to let you go out there and face whatever that is alone?!"
Mamoru tried to keep his feelings of exasperation down, but he needed to transform, and this was no time for pointless macho man moments.
He never had time to respond however, as the doors in front of them burst open, the apparent cause of the extreme commotion clunkily walking through.
It looked like a giant pill bottle gone wrong, having merged its energy with something in the pharmacy before making its way towards the ER.
The monster (Mamoru hated thinking of anything as a monster, but really what else was he to call this thing?) was shooting pill shaped missiles all over the hallway causing small explosions to rock the ground beneath them.
It somehow hadn't seen them, yet, having been distracted by the automatic swinging mechanism of the door, and Mamoru knew they only had a few seconds to get out of its path.
Kobayashi stood frozen, staring, fear having rendered him unable to move, while their enemy moved ever closer by the second, shooting pills and screeching, "Phaarrmmaaaa!"
Mamoru let out a huff, rolling his eyes while simultaneously grabbing his friend's arm and pulling hard, hiding them behind an abandoned push cart filled clean linens.
"Kobayashi, breathe," Mamoru hissed, noticing the slightly blue color to the man's face.
Wide eyes turned and looked at Mamoru, as more explosions sounded a few feet away. "I'm too young to die, Mamoru," he choked out far too loudly.
"Keep your voice down-"
But he kept going, his voice trembling more with every syllable. "I was going to ask Saori to marry me next week. We just found an apartment we like. Do you think they'll return the key money to her when I'm gone? I don't want-"
"Kobayashi!" Mamoru whispered yelled, after taking drastic measures and punching his companion in the leg. Hard.
Kobayashi's eyes finally focused on him and a look of utter betrayal crossed his features.
"You stay here," Mamoru ordered. "I'm going to go get help."
He moved to get away, but a strong hand grasped his elbow.
"Are you insane?! I can't let you go out there and get hurt!"
Annoyance flared through Mamoru. No, he was very much not insane, and if his idiot of a friend would just let him do his damn job, this would all be over with. But he did manage to relax a bit now that Kobayashi's voice was back down to an almost undetectable level.
"I'll be fine, just take your hand off-"
"Usagi would kill me if I let something happen to you! Do you remember the Great 7-11 Debacle of 2016? I'm not doing that again, Mamoru, I can't-"
Kobayashi's musings were cut off by an all too familiar voice.
"Hold it right there!"
Mamoru sighed in relief. He must have missed feeling her transform in all the chaos. Usagi. Sailor Moon. This would all work out perfectly fine, and he wouldn't have to knock Kobayashi unconscious just to take care of this.
He figured she would be alone, with it being the middle of the day, and the other girls still in classes at their respective colleges. And he knew full well she was completely capable of handling this on her own but if he could just get away from Kobayashi he could at least cover her back…
At the sound of Sailor Moon's voice, Kobayashi got to his knees and peeked over the top of the cart. Mamoru tried to pull him back down but their movements caused the giant pill bottle to turn and shoot something their way, narrowly missing their heads.
Sailor Moon caught sight of them then, and her eyes lit up when they landed on Mamoru, before they flashed and turned back towards her new adversary.
"How dare you attack that amazingly gorgeous doctor and his other doctor friend?!"
For what was probably the seventy-sixth time that day, Mamoru let out an exasperated sigh.
"This hospital is here to help sick and injured people, and I won't let you stand in the way of that! In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!" she shouted her usual phrase, moving forward in the small hallway, her wings knocking various vials of medicine to the floor.
Mamoru raised his eyebrow at her, and she had the grace to blush and let out a tiny, "Oops."
He then felt a sharp jab in his side. Ripping his eyes away from his soul mate, he found Kobayashi staring dreamily ahead. "I think Sailor Moon likes me."
Another sigh and eyeroll followed. "For the love of all that's good and-"
"Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss!"
A blinding light filled the hallway, and Mamoru couldn't help but smile. She certainly wasn't wasting any time today. Not that he was complaining.
Once the dying shriek of the monster dissipated from the air, Mamoru could barely blink before Kobayashi shot up, and ran straight to Sailor Moon before she could manage to escape.
He moved around her excitedly, thanking her profusely, and did she know that she saved his girlfriend a few years back, and could she actually fly with those wings? He'd always been curious.
Mamoru approached slowly, casually, hands in his pockets and a knowing smile on his face. She met his gaze and flushed prettily.
"Thank you, Sailor Moon," he said smoothly, and she nodded her head in acknowledgement.
"Thank you for all you do, doctor," she said, eyes locked with his. "You help keep people safe much more than I do, nowadays."
His smile grew, and he continued to stare at her, admiring her beauty and strength, remembering just how far she'd come from that frightened teenager he'd met so long ago with the supersonic wail.
They had apparently been appreciating each other's presence for a second too long, because Kobayashi cleared his throat and awkwardly stepped closer standing almost between them now.
"He's married," he said conspiratorially to Sailor Moon, and Mamoru's eyes shot heavenward with a silent plea for patience. "And trust me, you do not want to cross his wife. She will destroy you."
Sailor Moon laughed nervously, scratching the back of her neck while she slowly moved away from them. "I'm sure she's lovely. And what a lucky man you are to have such an amazing wife," she shot at Mamoru, as if daring him to disagree.
Police sirens wailed in the distance. "That's my cue. I've got a manicure to get back to."
She turned to run, but stopped, closing the small distance between her and Mamoru, causing Kobayashi to have to take a step back to make room for her ample wingspan.
She kissed his cheek, winked with sweet, "See you later," and then was gone.
Mamoru groaned, and ran a hand through his hair. Usagi could never make anything easy, could she? How exactly was he going to explain that away to Kobayashi, especially after he'd made it abundantly clear Mamoru was married?
Thankfully it was then that the police arrived, and Mamoru had never been more grateful for law enforcement in his life.
It was several hours later that they were finally released to go home, and Mamoru took in a deep, cleansing breath of fresh air as he and Kobayashi stepped out into the cool evening air.
He let out a sigh of relief when he saw Usagi waiting for him on a bench near the staff parking lot, and she waved excitedly at them as they approached.
"Hey, Mamoru, why did Sailor Moon kiss you and tell you she'd see you later?" Kobayashi asked, memory apparently triggered by the sight of Usagi.
Mamoru knew he should be annoyed. Usagi managed to make his life difficult on an almost daily basis. But she looked radiant in the moonlight, her smile was warm and inviting, her tiny hands with their freshly painted nails balled up in excitement as she bounced on her feet waiting for him…he just couldn't bring himself to care.
"Not sure," he said with a noncommittal shrug, and then he jogged the last few feet to his wife, scooping her up in a hug and spinning her around.
He delighted in her giggles, and only stopped spinning her when she managed to tell him they were being rude to Kobayashi, whom he had completely forgot was still there in his joy of being near Usagi.
Reluctantly, Mamoru placed her down, one arm still firmly planted around her waist.
"Hi, Kobayashi," she said sweetly. "I hope you weren't hurt at all during that attack today? Thank goodness Sailor Moon showed up."
She was doing it again. Telling things she couldn't and shouldn't know. Especially considering the police had blocked any access to the hospital hours ago, and neither one of them had had any access to their phones since the monster had attacked. Come to think of it, she probably wasn't even allowed to be there right now...
Mamoru rolled his eyes, but this time in affection. "Yes, thank goodness."
Kobayashi floundered a bit. Eyes flashing back and forth between them, while his head tried in vain to process what was so obviously standing in front of him. "But how did you…how would know that.."
Mamoru took the opportunity to turn them around and headed towards his car. "Bye, Kobayashi," he called over his shoulder.
He was surprised when Usagi stopped. Looking over her shoulder, she gave Kobayashi a wink and a sly, "See you later," before resuming her place tucked into Mamoru's side.
Mamoru started a countdown in his head.
5…4…3…2…
"Wait, WHAT?!"