I breathed in deeply, smelling the earthy odor of Stefan still lingering on his pillow. I missed him so much, I'd resorted to sleeping in his room every night, abandoning the one he'd left me with during his absence. Surely, I was grateful for the fluffy white pillows and pink rugs that adorned my custom-made room in the "Salvatore mansion", but my mind and body found the place nearest to Stefan the most comfortable. Everything about his room made me long for him all the more, but still, it was a solace to lay on his sheets, the ones we'd shared so many nights. And now those nights seemed like ages ago! And it had only been a few days since he left.
I frowned from beneath my mussed bed-head. Stefan had left for a town in New York in hopes of finding other vampires or witches there who might know how to kill Klaus. Ever since he'd been released from Klaus's terrible compulsion, he'd been obsessed with revenge. I understood where he was coming from, though I wasn't much into vengeance myself. But I knew being a vampire amplified even small emotions, and Stefan's resentment of the original vampire was far from small. I wanted Stefan to find peace from his trip. I wanted all of this chaos and anger to be laid to rest, literally, so that we could go on living our lives in normalcy. It would be a relief to be able to relax after over a year of constant drama and danger.
Anyway, Stefan planned the trip to be around three weeks. If it took longer than that, he would stay. I prayed to whatever God may exist that the trip wouldn't be extended. I couldn't bear being all alone in this house without him! My love.
Well, I wasn't exactly alone. Damon was always hanging around somewhere. Damon was Stefan's older, diabolical brother. I used to think Damon was pure evil, but since his arrival in Mystic Falls we've formed a precarious sort of friendship. He has been hurt so many times, it's easy to see why he is the way he is, always dangerous and dark. Sometimes he could be downright terrifying, but then, sometimes he was sweet and funny. When it came down to it, Damon was able to make the tough decisions when necessary without letting his humanity get in the way. It came off as impulsive, and it was, but it was also convenient and in some ways better than Stefan's human kindness and conscience, even if it made him less likeable and reliable.
Another thing about Damon: He was undeniably hot. His black hair and dark features served to highlight his brilliant blue eyes. His eyes were impossibly light and intense, peering out from his expressive face with a piercing effect. His cheekbones were sculpted architecturally, his jaw smooth and even. His lips appeared soft and plump. His beauty was a mix between boyish perfection and masculine muscle and strength. He knew he was handsome, and he used it to his advantage when he wanted sex or blood. He could woo any lady into letting him have what he wanted. Sometimes I even feared for myself.
But no. I loved Stefan. That was a fact. And Damon would never be right for me.
Since Stefan had left, Damon had been acting normally, or at least, normal for him. He and Alaric had gone out drinking pretty much every day, talking I presumed about plans to kill Klaus. I trusted them to come up with something while I was trapped in the boarding house. I wasn't allowed to go home because of Klaus. He wanted my blood to make more hybrids and neither Stefan nor Damon were willing to let me go home, just in case one of them wasn't there to protect me. Having vampires around you all day sure did make you realize just how weak and needy you were as a human.
Oh well, better human than stuck living an eternity of murderous guilt and misery.
I looked out the window, sitting up in bed. The early rising sun was shining through the thick glass panes. I guess it was time to get up.
I walked downstairs, not bothering to scan the kitchen for anything to eat. Understandably, the boarding house was predictably devoid of food. I was depending on snack-machine granola bars to hold me until lunch. That reminded me, I had to grab some money for my purse…
"Ooo, look who's awake!" Damon purred from his perfectly still position against the door frame of the living room, looking shamefully angelic for such an early hour.
"How long have you been awake?" I said in an almost annoyed voice. It wasn't fair that anyone should be so chipper this early in the morning.
"Oh, you know, a few hours…late night…" He smirked knowingly at me, waiting to see my disgusted reaction. He wasn't disappointed.
"I have to go to school in ten minutes, are you going to take me or should I call Bonnie?"
He stared at me without blinking, impaling me like a fluttering butterfly with his icy gaze. I barely noticed his lips move to say he was getting the car. I shook myself, what was I thinking? I needed to find a way to stop him from getting to me so easily.
I went to walk back upstairs to get dressed in my usual sweater and jeans. Just as I was about to pass through the doorway, Damon was standing in front of me.
"What the Hell?" I exclaimed in surprise. I never ceased to be amazed at his ability to virtually teleport to wherever he wanted to be. Normally he didn't do it just for fun though. I looked up into his eyes, adrenaline coursing through my stunned body.
"Aren't you going to eat breakfast before going to school?" He was grinning down at me with almost childlike delight. I wasn't used to this side of Damon. It seemed like he was up to something, but I realized he must be proud of himself for remembering I was a human with human needs. "Stefan would kill me if I didn't take care of you." And just like that his eyes and mouth were back to their usual unreadable position. I sidestepped him and walked to the kitchen without comment.
I opened the first cupboard I saw and it was filled with cereal, oatmeal, bread, and an array of granola bars. I grabbed for the first bar I saw, not even bothering to look in the fridge. I was in a hurry! I didn't have time for Damon's shenanigans.
When I went to leave the kitchen, Damon had a pouty face on, as if I'd insulted him by failing to notice his clear efforts to appease me. I gave him a smile, feeling guilty.
"Thanks, Damon."
"No problem." He said before again disappearing back into the living room.
As I made my way back up the stairs, I thought about the odd morning I'd had so far. First, Damon hints about his late night, then I find a caring food drive waiting for me in the kitchen? Something had to be up, I just didn't know what.
I got dressed and packed my stuff up without another thought. When I went downstairs, Damon was swinging the car keys around his lithe fingers. He looked up when I walked in, then turned around to head outside. I couldn't help but marvel again at his frame. Even with his trademark black sweater on I could sense his muscled back underneath of it. His black hair flopped perfectly against the nape of his neck…
In the car, we sat in virtual silence the whole way to school. I kept sneaking peeks of him from under my lashes. I expected to see him looking over at me, but never once did I catch him with his eyes anywhere but on the road. This only served to make me more anxious to get to school and out of the dark vampire's car. My view of his profile sent butterflies through my stomach. Just looking at him caused undeniable disbelief to saturate my mind. How could someone, something, so dangerous and unpredictable be so impossibly handsome?
By the time we pulled in the student lot my heart had quickened noticeably. I knew Damon could hear my heartbeat, but still I told myself he had no idea why. Unfortunately, fooling myself was not one of my strong suits. Doubts swirled in my mind. He knew the effect he was having on me without even saying a word. However, his face showed no recognition.
I went to hastily swing open the car door and scurry into school, but my wrist was caught by his strong grip just as I reached for the door. I turned my head to catch his intense glare. His blue eyes burned into mine, stopping my breath in my throat.
"Be careful. I'll be here to pick you up immediately after school." He said in an insistent monotone akin to a growl, though less angry.
I could only nod, and when he released my arm, I made my way to school like a zombie. My mind was hazed by thoughts of his words and face. I found the resonating emotion in my body to be fear. He seemed unstable somehow. Like he could at any moment erupt into one of his fits of passion, rage, violence, or lust. I didn't want to be around when the carnage went down. I also didn't want any of my friends to be in his way when he inevitably went to feed on one of his rampages. Caroline had already given enough blood to the depraved version of Damon. Matt or Jeremy could be next…
Stop. I was way overreacting. So what, it had been one morning with Damon and already I was concocting worst case-scenarios in my head on my way to school? This was crazy. Damon was fine. Maybe it was I who needed to take a chill pill.
The school day passed by in a blur. I paid attention as best as possible, even during Alaric's unbearably boring history lecture. Sometimes it was a struggle just to stay awake in his class! The final bell rang with a relieving clang at exactly 2:37. I exhaled an made my way back to the parking lot, Caroline and Bonnie at my side.
"So, how were things this morning at hotel Salvatore?" Caroline asked in a dramatically sarcastic voice. She hated the idea of Damon being anywhere near me after what he had done to her.
"Oh, the same. Lonely and, well, vampire-y."
Bonnie laughed at my attempt at a joke, though it was obvious she found my awful sense of humor to be the funniest part of my statement.
"I see Damon's driving you?" Caroline asked coolly. Having known her for my entire life, I automatically sensed the questions she had for me.
"Yeah, he's seemed pretty obsessed about my safety since Stefan's left. I guess he just wants to keep his word to his brother."
"Sure, whatever…" Caroline replied, distracted by glaring into the tinted windows of Damon's sports car. I hurriedly said my goodbyes to my disapproving friends and slid into the passenger seat.
Damon must've had the AC on because when I got in, the frigidity lured goosebumps from my arms. He immediately reached for the knob and turned it off.
"Sorry, I forget. I can't really feel the temperatures that well." He said gruffly, barely hinting at any concern for my frozen limbs.
"How was school?"
I wasn't sure how to answer. There was no way he really wanted a detailed description of my mundane day, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Oh, it was fine. You know, Alaric's class was boring as ever." I rolled my eyes, forcing a smile.
"Uh-Oh. I am so telling him you said that." Damon grinned mischievously, eliciting a laugh from me.
When we got to my temporary home, Damon was out of the car and at my door before I could blink. He opened it for me, smiling in a gentlemanly fashion. His soft lips parted slightly to reveal his perfectly straight, white teeth. Not many would guess that lurking beneath the surface were two razor sharp fangs that constantly hungered to surface. I hadn't seen Damon many times with his vampiric face. He was much better at control than Stefan. But those few times I had witnessed it, I was struck with the sheer ferocity and terror of it. Yet simultaneously, it was enticing, still sexy. The darkness around his bloodshot eyes had only served to highlight their blueness and strength.
That face look was very different from the one he wore now. So much so that I remembered how easy it was for him to fool those around him into thinking he was a normal human.
"Thank you," I murmured in a surprised tone at his kind deed. I shouldered my heavy backpack and made my way to the front door. Damon strode a few steps ahead of me, barely pausing at the door to swing it inward and out of the way. The Salvatore boarding house was full of old relics and antiques. Rugs covered much of the hardwood floors, decorated with intricate oriental patterns. Vases and books scattered the innumerable shelves. Sometimes it reminded me of a museum.
Damon had disappeared somewhere into the bowels of the old house, leaving me still standing in the entryway, debating starting my homework or relaxing with my laptop. I chose the latter option, always the procrastinator. I headed to the kitchen in search of a snack. I made my way through the maze of rooms and hallways, struck with the eerie feeling that one gets in old, empty houses. Not to mention the fact that it was occupied by vampires. I almost laughed at the absurdity of my situation. Finally I arrived at my destination.
I opened the cupboard which Damon had stocked this morning. To my surprise, it was empty. I turned around, ready to check another door. Instead, I was met with the muscular physique of a certain sneaky vampire.
"Boo." Damon murmured under his breath, keeping me cornered between his hard chest and the open cabinet. I inhaled sharply, stunned by his sudden proximity. His face was so close to me that I could feel his cool breath on my eyelashes. His arms stretched to the wall on either side of my head, forming an inescapable box. Then, just like that, he was halfway across the kitchen, back to me.
"Were you looking for something, silly human?" Damon asked me with a hint of humor in his voice.
I briefly wondered if Damon was always this bipolar or if he was just hungry. "Yeah, actually, what happened to all the food? Did you eat it?" I added the last question as an unsure jab. I couldn't be sure what type of mood Damon was really in, so I tried to test the waters.
"Very funny, Elena." He turned, smiling nonchalantly. "In fact, I have organized the Salvatore kitchen, seeing as we have a new…delicate guest. What do you want?"
Damon? Organizing? Playing host? I almost burst into laughter on the spot. Maybe he was hoping to woo me while Stefan was away. If so, his efforts would be fruitless. I knew who he really was. He couldn't fool me into thinking he was a makeshift Stefan.
"Oh, I don't know…Do you have any fruit? Like an apple or something?"
Damon really did break out into a boyish, angelic grin then. He flashed over to the fridge and pulled out an apple almost before I'd finished asking the question. He appeared in front of me with the apple held out delicately in his hand. I couldn't help but notice his tapered wrists and strong fingers as I tentatively reached out to take his offering.
"Now, if you don't mind, I think I'll get myself something." Damon smoothly uttered, eyeing me for my inevitable wince.
"Don't worry, I'm just grabbing a blood bag, Elena! That is, unless you're offering." Damon stepped closer to me again, forcing me to acknowledge his striking figure. Fear did cause my heart to skip a beat, never knowing for sure what the dangerous dark angel was capable of. He smirked, obviously able to hear my fear. Then he sauntered to the basement, leaving me still frozen in place, marked with conflicting sentiments.
What on earth was up with him?
I knew Damon liked me. I even had a hunch that he loved me, in his own selfish, twisted way. Whether it was my resemblance to Katherine, his lost love, or brotherly jealousy, I was almost sure that Damon wanted me away from Stefan and closer to him. In some ways this realization had been liberating. What girl doesn't like to feel wanted? But I banished these thoughts to the back of my mind, always remembering that it was Stefan who had saved me and Stefan who I loved. But with Stefan's absence and Damon's odd behavior of late, I couldn't help but worry that Damon would take this opportunity to act on his emotions. He was not good at internalizing. It wouldn't be long before he revealed his true colors. I only hoped that when he did I would be safe from his rage. If his handling of the Katherine situation was any suggestion as to his nature when he was rejected, I might be in serious trouble.
That night, I walked to my bedroom-well, Stefan's bedroom-like a zombie. I was exceptionally tired, again at Alaric's hand. The killer history homework had kept me up well past eleven! I groaned inwardly at the prospect of five more months of schoolwork before the freedom of summer would release me from my teachers' death-grips.
In the bathroom, I grabbed my toothbrush and plopped a glob of pale blue paste onto its bristles. I was on complete autopilot. It had to have been at least two minutes before I recognized that an unusually piercing pair of blue eyes were staring at me from the mirror. I yelped in surprise, whipping around hurriedly. There, leaned against the tub, was my annoying housemate. I was getting sick of his casual appearances and disappearances around here! I was becoming paranoid.
Sensing my petulance, Damon decided to break the ice.
"Why are you sleeping in here still? You know he's not going to magically appear, right?" There was a hint of acid in his voice. He looked a little drunk.
"Ummm…where else would I sleep? Forgive me if I don't have the proper excitement for under furnished guest rooms that have never been slept in." My sarcasm lit a fire in his demeanor.
"You don't have to sleep in a guest room. I just thought you might prefer someplace a little less cluttered. You know, Stefan's a bit of a hoarder. Aren't you worried about ghosts of relics past invading your dreams?"
"No. Where would you have me go?" I feared I knew the answer without asking.
"You could sleep in my room. It would make it a hell of a lot easier to protect you."
I didn't know how to respond. There was no way I was sleeping in Damon's room, but I didn't want to upset him, especially if he had been drinking. Unluckily for me, Damon didn't even wait for a response.
"You need to stop thinking about it. Like that, I can see it in your face. I know you want me. Do you think I don't notice you staring at me? Do you think I can't tell when your heart skips a beat? Why can't you just admit it to yourself? Admit it. Right now, I bet you want me to carry you into my room myself."
That was most definitely not what I wanted.
"No, Damon. Stop! You are obviously drunk. I am not going to your room."
"Hmm, what was that, little girl? We'll see." Damon lurched toward me, his face betraying his anger at my refusal. He caught me around the waist, yanking me against him. I desperately pounded my fists onto any part of him I could. He showed no pain or response to my flails.
"Ah ah ah, Elena, you know that's not going to work. Come on, we're going."
I stopped my efforts, knowing full well what little effect they were having. I had to talk some sense into him. He wasn't listening. Either that, or he didn't care to hear.
Damon picked me up swiftly, smiling down on me with his white teeth. His lips were so close to mine, it was like electricity was crackling between them. I was momentarily entranced by his embrace, unable to move or protest. Before I knew it, Damon had whirled down the hallway, me in haul, and swung open the door to his bedroom. He slowly walked to the bed and set me down on it, smiling in satisfaction.
"What the Hell are you doing!? Since when is it okay for you to pick me up and carry you to your room, which I expressly told you I did not care to sleep in?" I was nearly shouting in frustration.
"Since I decided it was. Listen," Damon held my shoulders in a grip that bordered somewhere between gentle and crushing. I worried momentarily about his ability to control his strength in his state. "I need to make sure that no one finds you. I need to protect you. I promised I would keep you safe, and this is one step towards doing that successfully. So get over your girly crap and go to sleep. You have school tomorrow." The tone of his voice and the look in his eyes told me that it would be pointless, and maybe dangerous, to argue.
I groaned inwardly. Was this even possible? Stefan wouldn't be back for weeks and already I was stuck sleeping in his brother's room under the shoddy excuse of safety. What was I going to do about Damon? A more burning question niggled at the back of my mind.
What was Damon going to do about me?
*******************************************************
I was scared. I was alone. There were vampires chasing me. I knew I was doomed, and no one was there to help me. No one was there to hear me scream.
But then I was at my lake house. Jeremy was there laughing. It was summer and we were at one of the cookouts my family used to have.
My eyes fluttered open gently. It was still dark. Why did I have to wake up? I'd been having such a wonderful dream. It wasn't often that my nighttime terrors morphed into sweet memories of my childhood. I cursed my brain for ending my happiness too soon. But I was extremely comfortable, even awake. I was pressed protectively against the solid planes of a warm chest. A cool hand laid over my stomach. Another hand was soothingly placed on my head. It felt right.
But wait. Stefan was gone. Who was in his room? Then it dawned on me. This wasn't Stefan's room. And that wasn't a stranger. That was Damon. I was confused. What was the proper reaction? Should I shudder in horror at the intrusion or feel grateful for his caring embrace. At a loss, I simply laid there.
"You were having a nightmare…" A soft voice murmured in my ear. I wasn't used to a sleepy Damon. He seemed child-like. Pure. His face was not so tightly controlled as normal. His black locks fell haphazardly over his forehead, mussed from sleep. It was impossible to hate him at that moment. He also had a look of sincere concern for my bad dream.
"No, it was a good dream. Well, it was a nightmare, but then it was good."
He nodded knowingly. "You didn't wear your necklace to bed."
I noticed my bare neck, unadorned by Stefan's gifted vervain pendant. I never forgot to put it on! Unless…then I remembered after I'd showered I must've left it on the dresser. It was incredibly stupid of me to forget it. Damon had even noticed.
Oh. Damon must've manipulated my dream. Once again I wasn't sure how to react. On one hand, I was infuriated that he'd invaded my mind. But he had helped me out of my nightmare. He just didn't know how to do caring concerned.
"You. You went into my mind? You saw I didn't have my necklace on, just this once, and you took it upon yourself to screw with my head?"
"Shhhh… quiet, just go back to sleep." Damon was using his velvety voice in an attempt to lullaby me into calm surrender. He was so quiet, so unlike his normal self. His hand began to stroke my hair gently, leaving tingling cold paths in his wake.
"Just go back to sleep…" He softly spoke again, repeating it like a mantra. I wondered why he didn't just compel me. That would be easier for both of us. I tried to wriggle out of his grasp and separate myself from him. Like earlier, my efforts were to no avail. He remained as still and unmovable as stone, caging me in. His hand trailed donw my neck, rubbing my shoulders a bit. I was too tired to fight. And his touch felt oh-so soothing. My heart must've been jumping all over the place just looking at his tired face. His unguarded, beautiful face, framed by black hair. His eyes, framed by lashed so dark that he could've been wearing mascara. His lips. So soft, barely moving. Barely speaking out the words which fell to my ears like droplets of a waterfall. He leaned down to place his mouth on top of my nest of hair. Then he placed them again on my forehead, continuing to whisper his silent hymn. His trail of gentle kisses made its way to my chin. By the time they did, I was asleep again.
But my mind was still working in unconsciousness. I had no idea why I was letting this happen. I could make as many excuses as I wanted, but the truth was, I could be fighting much more than I was. Chalk it up to sleep deprivation.