Warning: Yaoi. Guy x Guy! Gay Digimon characters. If that offends you in any way, please just back out now.

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Digimon. I think I'd rather write fanfiction anyway.

Timeline: after Daisuke gets the digimental of Friendship but before Miyako and Iori get their second digimentals.

A/N: This is the first of an unknown number of Kaisuke fics that lead up to "The Emperor's Daisuke."

Changing Destiny

Part 1: What I Would Do For Her

by loveasthouwilt

I was sitting by a lake in the digital world. Throwing rocks into the water. Venting.

I don't know why I care so much. I could have any girl I want. I am the best soccer player in school after all. But I had to fall in love with one that plays hard-to-get. I had to fall in love with Hikari.

Stupid Takeru. I just can't compete with him. What's so special about him? He's not perfect. He's annoying as hell.

"Maybe you should just wait for another girl." Veemon commented as he handed me another rock.

"I don't want another girl." I retorted. "I love Hikari."

How often do Veemon and I have this conversation anyway? I want Hikari, and Veemon wants me to get over it and stop whining, especially since he's the only one I whine to. But I gotta complain to someone, 'cause otherwise I'd go crazy from bottling it up. And I'm not one to be quiet about anything.

I just don't understand why she doesn't like me back. I've been trying to get her to like me every since we met. What's not to like?? I'm caring and sensitive just like she is.

"You should just ask her out." Veemon said enthusiastically, dipping a clawed foot into the water. "Point blank."

I rolled my eyes and chunked the rock into the lake. "You can't just ask a girl to make a split-second, very important decision. They get all emotional and pick the wrong answer..."

Veemon considered that. He doesn't know anything about courting women. You gotta pay attention to them, show them that you think they're smart and fun. And most of all, you've gotta act tough for them so they know you'll stand up for them.

I must not be trying hard enough...

At that point, I heard Takeru calling for me somewhere behind me. I ignored him. He was lucky I didn't have a rock in hand.

"Hikari's gone!!"

"What!?" My head snapped around towards Takeru to see if I had heard right.

He was running towards Veemon and me with Patamon and Tailmon following him. They stopped just a few feet away and he said again. "Hikari's gone! We can't find her anywhere."

I jumped up and angrily addressed him alone. "How did you lose her!? It's broad daylight!!"

"I'm not her bodyguard," he responded defensively. "She can usually take care of herself."

I hit him. Hard.

He hadn't expected it and spun straight to the ground. "Takeru!" Patamon squeaked. Veemon was surprised too, and rushed to grab me by the wrist.

But, oh, it felt good. I wanted to hit him again...

He pushed himself to his hands and knees. "I can't be expected to be her bodyguard because she doesn't like me around," I yelled. "She chooses you over me, so you are supposed to protect her!"

"She doesn't choose me, dammit!" He said, rubbing his face where I hit him. I hoped it left a nice bruise. "We're just friends."

I'd been told this a million times, and I refused to believe it. I couldn't believe it, because that would mean Takeru was not the reason Hikari didn't love me. It would mean I was the reason Hikari didn't love me.

I prefer to believe they are the jerks.

Takeru stood up and started talking like I had never hit him.

"We need to organize a search to find her," he said. "She must have been captured since Tailmon isn't with her and we found her digivice discarded in the forest."

"Stupid Tailmon," I glared at her. "You more than any of us should have been protecting her."

I was glad the fault wasn't mine this time.

She gave me a death-look "I will hurt you, Daisuke."

Patamon perched on Daisuke's head and looked down with big blue eyes. "Don't fight. Hikari could be in trouble."

"Tailmon, you come with me and Veemon," I ordered. I am the leader, after all. "We'll search around where you last saw Hikari, while Takeru and the others spread out around the area."

"No." she said simply and defiantly.

Ooh, now I wanted to hit her too, but hitting a rookie would be like hitting a girl... and she was both.

"What's your problem!" I demanded. Stupid digimon! I'm the leader!

"You don't care about anyone accept yourself. I don't like you."

"Tailmon!" Takeru scolded.

How could she say that!? I was being like this because I cared about Hikari! I'm the only one who takes any immediate action around here!

Angrily ignoring Tailmon, I had Veemon Armor Evolve to Raidramon and climbed on his back. Takeru did the same for Pegasusmon. "I'll go get the others," he said, then flew away with Tailmon.

"We're not waiting for them." I told Raidramon.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

Like I knew.

Hikari had probably disappeared somewhere near camp, but if I went back, I'd run into the other Chosen. That was out of the question. I wanted to find her. I was the only one who really cared anyway. I'm in love with her. She should want me to be the one to rescue her.

"Let's go the long way, around camp." I said. "Maybe I can get ahead of the others when they come back here to find me."

"They aren't coming back to the lake," Raidramon said as he headed into the forest that surrounded camp.

"Huh? Why wouldn't they?"

He leaped from side to side and ever forward through forest. "Because they know you well enough to know you won't have waited for them."

It pissed me off that that's what they would think about me, even if it was true.

Is it really necessary for them to constantly remind me that I'm not wanted?

Something hit Raidramon in the side, sending us both crashing in the dirt. Luckily I was thrown off of him before he smashed against a tree. The one who had assaulted us, a lone slave Flymon, shot a few more stingers at Raidramon, which he easily dodged. I climbed back on Raidramon's back. "Go get him! He can't push you around like that!"

The Flymon continued to attack, but would often retreat, forcing us to follow farther and farther away from the camp. "This is taking too much time, Raidramon. Finish him off!" I said.

We reached a clearing and watched as five Airdramon let to the sky, one bearing the royal pain himself, the Digimon Kaizer. "Looking for someone?" he said with a smirk.

"Not you..." I muttered. Raidramon's muscles flexed under me.

"Don't worry, she's very safe." The Kaizer said coldly.

My eyes widened. Figures the stupid Kaizer would have her. Figures Takeru would be right again.

"Where is she?!" I demanded.

"Daisuke!" Miyako's voice...

Suddenly I was surrounded by the Chosen and their Armor Evolved digimon. "He's got Hikari." I explained bitterly. So much for being the hero.

"Why?" Iori asked.

"Who cares!" I snapped. "As long as we can get her back."

"Don't talk like I'm not here!!" The Kaizer said, brandishing his whip.

I don't like to think of him as being tough... but I've played soccer against him, so I know he is. I wouldn't want to fight him hand-to-hand. But I'd do it for Hikari if I had to.

While we watched suspiciously, the Airdramon carrying the Kaizer lowered and allowed Ken onto the ground some distance away from us. He left his whip behind, but the Airdramon spiraled overhead like vultures obediently waiting for orders if he were to give them.

"You." he pointed at me. "You and I will discuss the conditions of Hikari's freedom."

Takeru and I exchanged confused looks.

But then, I am the leader, after all.

I had plenty of backup, so I figured, what the hell. I climbed off Raidramon and approached the Kaizer. He had that confident smirk on his face, because he knew that no matter what we made ourselves believe, we knew in our hearts that we feared him.

I don't fear him as much as the others do, though.

"OK, so what do you want?" I asked bitterly as I neared him. "You're smart enough to know what we won't agree to, so what's your game?"

He took off his glasses and looked at me with intense indigo eyes. You know... for a guy... he's got cool eyes. You can't help but watch them. The way he looks at you... it's like he feels there's no one else worth looking at... makes you feel important.

"Stay still." he whispered as he moved to stand beside me, his back to the other Chosen.

"What're you doing?" I asked critically.

"We don't want them to hear." he explained.

What the hell was going on, I wondered. He was obviously trying to confuse me, and was doing a damn good job of it.

"I'll trade Hikari..." He looked at me from the side of his eyes, "for you."

"That's it?" I blurted stupidly. Even if I went with him, he had to expect the other Chosen to eventually rescue me, no matter how much they hated me. I didn't get it.

He laughed, "No, of course, that's not all."

With no other warning, he turned and grabbed me by the fur of my jacket and dragged me into a kiss.

I had never even been kissed by a girl before!

Without hesitation, I shoved him away from me, "What are you doing!?"

"Just making sure you know exactly what you'll be getting into when you trade yourself for Hikari," he said quietly. He wanted to make sure only I knew all the conditions of his game so that I could tell the other Chosen only how much I wanted them to know.

He stepped toward me and I stepped back. "Don't you want to know where Hikari is?" he whispered.

"I don't want you anywhere near me." Fag.

An Airdramon neared the ground so that the Kaizer could make his escape when ready. "Less than a day's ride into the western mountains is an industrial fortress." He told me alone. " She is being held in a farmhouse just outside the gates. I look forward to seeing you there." And with that, he leapt onto the Airdramon and we, the Chosen Children, allowed he and his slaves to disappear beyond the canopy.

Great. Now I was gonna have to face the other Chosen. I was never gonna live this one down.

"Oh my God, Daisuke, he kissed you!!" Miyako said tactlessly from her place upon Halsemon's back.

"Really?" I snapped at her. "I didn't notice!"

"So what's up?" Takeru asked, avoiding the kissing issue. Leave it to Takeru to afford me some dignity... just to rub it in what a great guy he is.

"She's in the mountains," I said, allowing Raidramon to descend back to Veemon. The whole truth was embarrassing. I didn't even wanna think about it.

"That's it?" Iori said, Armadillomon already descended and his in arms. "What did he want?"

"What did it look like he wanted?!" I screamed at the little kid.

"Don't yell at him." Tailmon hissed from her place on Pegasusmon in front of Takeru. "Just 'cause you got your pride hurt-"

"Shut up, Tailmon! This is all your fault!"

Veemon wrapped his arms around my legs just above my knees. "Please, stop fighting." he begged. "You're a team, even if you're not friends."

Everyone went silent. They weren't even going to argue...

If I had never been sure I was unwanted before, I was now.

Veemon looked up at me sadly. "That's not what I meant to say..."

I shook my head, disregarding him. "Even if we get to the mountains, we might not be able to rescue Hikari and get back before dark." I realized how suspicious my sudden change of heart sounded and added. "So we'll just have to beat the Kaizer really fast."

The other Chosen had exactly the reaction I had hoped for.

"We all want to rescue Hikari," that from Miyako. "but realistically we just can't do it today. We'll go home and come up with a plan, then come back early tomorrow through a gate nearer to the mountains."

Normally, I would have immediately argued, and that's what would have been expected of me, but this time I wanted some extra time, so I crossed my arms and faked angry pouting.

I wanted to save her. I wanted to save her badly. But things were complicated now.

I can't believe he kissed me...

"There's an industrial fortress in the mountains," I explained to the other Chosen when we returned to the real world. We had come back through a school computer and had collected in the park across the street. "That's where Hikari is."

"Did he say where in the fortress?" Iori asked.

"No, he didn't."

For some reason, the lie felt awful. Maybe it was because I was usually a terrible liar and they usually didn't believe me. This time, though, they did believe me and I felt really bad about it. No matter how much they hated me, I always found myself wanting for their approval.

Once I rescued Hikari, though, I knew it would be worth it.

The meeting didn't last long. Miyako said she'd cover for Hikari by telling Mrs. Yagami that Hikari was sleeping over. Then we decided a time and place to meet.

It was still early in the evening when I took Chibimon back to my apartment. Once in my room, Chibimon grabbed up a soccer ball and was seeing how long he could keep it in the air by bouncing it on his head.

I went to the livingroom and started up a videogame, trying to get my mind off Hikari and the Kaizer for a while. I always play by myself, since no one I know likes the same kind of games that I do. I tried teaching Chibimon how to play once, but he doesn't have enough fingers for it. And Jun doesn't have the attention span to concentrate on an RPG storyline.

Mom came home after a few hours, gift boxes stacked up in her arms. "Have you seen Jun today, sweetie?" she asked.

"If I did, I blocked it out," I said smartly, never taking my eyes off the television.

Setting her boxes on the counter, Mom started squealing excitedly. "There's a new store that just opened up down the street and they have the most fabulous outfits you've ever seen in your life and I really, really want to take Jun in there to look around, because I just know we could find something that would look gorgeous on her."

I humored her. "Yeah, whatever, Mom." And growled at my game as I got caught in one of those annoying random battles.

"You need to get off the TV, hun. My soaps are coming on."

I sighed. "Alright, let me get to a save point."

After returning to my room I flopped on my bed with an arm across my eyes. I had been trying not to think about my problems for a little while, but now there was nothing else to do.

I could just see Hikari...tied up in a dark, dank cabin, alone and afraid. I imagined myself rushing in heroically and cutting her loose and holding her in my arms. She smiles at me and lets me kiss her.

But when I open my eyes... there's Ken.

I get the impression of the blues and yellows that surrounded the Kaizer, and the mess of blue-black hair. Deep indigo eyes that looked upon me as if there was no one else worth looking at...

It was then that I realized I had fallen asleep and was dreaming, because I didn't see him as much as I felt him.

And I felt like doing more than just kissing him.

The thought jolted me awake, which in turn woke Chibimon who had been curled up on my chest.

Where in Hell had that come from?

I wiped my eyes and noticed my face was wet with sweat.

"What's wrong D'suke?"

The emotions I felt in the dream were still fresh in my mind. It felt too good. I wanted it to go away. Stupid dreams. Stupid Kaizer.

Chibimon was rolled over on his back, looking at me upside down, waiting for an answer.

"Just... thinking about Hikari." I said, rubbing his belly.

He giggled. "That tickles...!"

I pulled him into my arms like a teddy bear and tried to go back to sleep, trying to focus on Hikari's face instead of Ken's.

It was a restless night.

In the morning, I thought I was considerably early getting to Iori's apartment building where we were going to open the gate, but I found that Takeru and Miyako were already there.

We watched the door until we saw Iori's mother and grandpa leave the building, then we headed up to the apartment.

In no time, we were in the Digital World just a few minutes from the mountains. The other Chosen insisted I ride with one of them instead of keeping to the ground, so Veemon and I ended up riding behind Miyako on Halsemon.

The mountains weren't actually that high. It was more like a thick cluster of tall green hills shrouded in a fog. I couldn't imagine an industrial fortress as being anything except extremely out of place there. But a farmhouse would be practically unnoticeable...

"There!" Iori said, pointing in the distance.

It was a mess of grey cylindrical towers, some short and squat, others tall and thin. Some smoked and emitted flame. Between them were rectangular warehouses connected by paved streets. It was surrounded by a chain-link gate with a control spire at each of seven corners.

And just outside the fortress was a cozy little farmhouse. Hikari's dungeon. Where Ken was waiting for me.

"That fortress is huge!" Miyako yelled over the wind rushing all about us. "How are we gonna find her in there?"

"Split up." Takeru suggested. "We'll keep in contact over email."

Well, that was easy...

Halsemon let Veemon and me down just inside the fence. When the other Chosen were out of sight, I turned around and went back through the gate, outside the fortress and toward the farmhouse.

The cabin was like something out of a fairy tale. Clover covered the ground and was dotted with tiny white flowers. Vines crawled up the side of the house near a stone chimney. The windows were tightly shuttered against the mist. Cobblestones led up to the front door. It wasn't intimidating at all.

I walked right up to the door, Veemon closely trailing me, and opened it.

Hikari was sitting at a wooden table apparently having breakfast with two Tanemon. When she saw me, her face lit up. "Daisuke!" She left her breakfast to meet me at the door with a big hug.

It was a dream come true... I was the hero.

Smiling she looked into my eyes and asked.

"Where's Takeru?"

Takeru!?

I took her by the shoulders and pushed her hard enough that she hit her butt against the floor. The Tanemon squealed with Hikari as she hit. I don't know what came over me...but I immediately felt really bad about it.

Why? Why do they hate me so much?

The Tanemon fled as the Kaizer stepped in from another room and pulled Hikari up by the back of her shirt, and held a knife to her throat.

No!

"Hikari!"

I couldn't tell what had shocked her more. Ken's attack or mine.

"I knew you'd come," the Kaizer said, pressing the blade against Hikari's skin.

No! I had really screwed up this time. If I had just taken Hikari when I had the chance... now there wouldn't be time for Veemon to Armor Evolve before Ken could slide the blade into her throat.

"Well?"

"Alright." I blurted, not really knowing what I was saying, having no plan, and at the moment not caring. I would get Hikari out of trouble and worry about myself later.

With a little smile, he bit his lip. "Prove it."

Veemon looked up at me, "What's going on?"

I knew what Ken wanted from me, but I didn't know if I could make myself do it. If I didn't... Hikari would die. Hikari would die.

I kept repeating that to myself, hoping it would build up my courage. But... to surrender myself to the Kaizer in that way

Hikari's eyes were focused on me, projecting the purest terror I had ever seen. 'Give him what he want's, Daisuke.' They seemed to say. 'Save me.' But she wasn't going to say it. That would be selfish.

She doesn't love me. She doesn't care about me as much as I would like her to. No one does, I guess. But, God help me, I love her and I just couldn't let her die.

Maybe it won't be so bad... It's not like it means anything... It'll just be highly embarrassing and degrading...Lord knows I've been humiliated by him before...

Please, Master. Spare my worthless friends...

Suddenly it was very clear to me what had happened on that cliffside, and it didn't make my decision any easier.

But I couldn't let her die.

Motioning for Veemon to stay back, I neared the Kaizer. The knife stayed on Hikari's throat. He wasn't taking any chances. I stopped beside them both, glad Hikari was being held in a position that she couldn't turn her head to watch me. She wouldn't know...

The Kaizer wasn't smiling anymore, just watching me nonthreateningly.

My hand shaking, I reached up to remove his glasses. I didn't think I could go through with it if I couldn't see his eyes. At least without the mask I can be sure that he's a person and not really a monster.

I really, really, really didn't want to do it, but I could think of no other way to keep Hikari alive.

As calmly as I could manage, I leaned in and touched my lips to his. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I just almost liked it. It felt rebellious. Yeah, the other Chosen would give me the respect I deserved if they knew the Kaizer had become my ally.

I felt his lips part and his tongue slide across my lip, which was just too much for me and I had to back off. "Now, let her go." I said between gritted teeth.

He moved the blade away from her and pushed her out of his reach. Veemon had to catch her to keep her from falling again.

"Take her to Tailmon," I told Veemon. Then to both, "Get away from here."

"But what about you?" Veemon responded. Even if he didn't understand exactly what was going on, he knew what kissing meant and that it definitely wasn't something I should be doing with the enemy.

"I'm not going to hurt him," the Kaizer addressed them, proud of his victory. "Unless you decide to stay..." Without his glasses, Ken doesn't look as threatening, but his voice is evil just the same.

Veemon grabbed Hikari's wrist and began to lead her out.

"Daisuke..." she whimpered. She was worried about me.

Of course, she'd be mad at me all over again once she found out how I'd selfishly ditched the other Chosen trying to be a hero. Not to mention rashly punching Takeru.

They left the farmhouse leaving the Kaizer and I alone together. I had my back to him and I was just waiting for something bad to happen.

"They'll come back for you," he said calmly. "That's what you want, isn't it? Though it's beyond me why..."

I turned around and handed his glasses back to him. "Better than being here with you."

He folded the glasses and put them somewhere inside the shadows of his cape. "But if you had the choice to leave them all behind, that's what you would do, isn't it? That's what you did to save Hikari. You left them behind. And what did you hope to gain?"

Hikari's affection. I wanted to be her hero.

For someone to care about me....

I glared at him angrily. "You just want to manipulate me into not fighting you."

Suddenly he grabbed me by the arms and stared me down, "I want you to stop trying to gain the approval of a bunch of idiots who don't appreciate you."

I cringed.

But... they're all I have...

"It's stupid, Daisuke. You don't have to put up with that!"

I do! They're all I have!!

Then he added lovingly, "No one should be so alone..."

Desperately, intensely alone...

Hopelessly, painfully alone...

Why? Why do they hate me so much?

What do I do that makes me deserving of such resentment?

He slipped his arms around my waist and slowly pressed his body to mine.

They're all I have....

...and they don't want me...

Tears streamed unbidden.

His face neared mine...

To be loved... even briefly... even by the Kaizer...

I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes, allowing him to kiss me, this time nervously accepting his tongue into my mouth.

I had never tasted anyone before.

I loved it... to feel how desperately he wanted to kiss me.

To feel how desperately I needed him to kiss me.

I hoped the other Chosen were happy what they'd driven me to.

I certainly was.

-to be continued-