Snowhere to Go: Chapter Eight
When I returned to the Senator's cabin, I was aggravated and wasn't paying attention. After jerking off my travel cloak, I tossed it onto the bed – not noticing it landed on top of a human-sized lump. Upon further inspection, I noticed a hand sticking out from beneath a pillow.
"Senator? Is that you? What are you doing in bed?"
I didn't think she was sleeping. Padmé never took naps during the day. However, when it took her so long to reply, I worried I had disturbed her.
"Hiding," was the eventual, barely-audible reply.
I carefully tugged on the velvet duvet until I could see her tousled hair and worried expression.
"What happened? I saw the two of you leave together and was hoping for the best."
Slowly, Padmé pulled herself up into a sitting position, drew her knees up, and wrapped her arms around them. She looked absolutely pitiful. She stared at me with big, sad eyes.
"Be honest with me. Am I dull? I know I can be too serious sometimes and Sola told me once that I was 'born old.' Does that mean I'm dull?"
She was serious even though I thought this was ridiculous. I held my tongue and sat on the bed facing her. I needed to be careful with my words and took my time before answering her. She looked as if she were about to burst into tears.
"You are the opposite of dull, Mi'Lady! You are always on the go - attending conferences, senatorial meetings, speaking with the Chancellor, volunteering for charitable events…"
"That's all about work," she added worriedly. "What about personally? Is my personality lacking…something?"
I wasn't sure what had happened. What had Obi-Wan said to her that could possibly make her this upset? He had better not intentionally hurt her feelings or I'd give him a piece of my mind! How could I fix this?
"I'll admit, at times, your countenance is a bit stern, but that comes from dealing with politicians." My attempt at humor fell as flat as her mood. "I'm just kidding," I told her, placing a comforting hand upon her knee. "I've seen you giddy, joking around, dancing until you can barely walk the next day; although, that usually only happens when Obi-Wan is around."
My mention of the man's name caused Padmé to stare out the nearby portal; an activity that always made me dizzy during space flight. So, he did have something to do with this.
"What did he say to you? Did he actually say you were boring?
"Not exactly."
I waited for an explanation and it was a long time coming, but I was determined to be patient.
"He said he was glad this mission wasn't going to be as dull as he thought it would be."
That was all? Why, he wasn't even talking about her!
"Oh, Padmé," I cooed. "That doesn't mean he thinks you're dull. He just doesn't enjoy these political-type missions. You know what they say about these Jedi: They like using their lightsabers once in a while."
That time, my wit at least drew a smile on her face, albeit a small one.
"It's just that I was expecting…I don't know what I was expecting. We're friends and we have fun together, but how do we get past that? And what if he doesn't want to move past that? If I ruin our friendship by wanting more, then I'll have nothing. Wouldn't it be better to be happy with what I have?"
We'd been over this argument a dozen times already. For being such a confident world leader, she sure lacked confidence when it came to matters of the heart. Who was I to advise her about romantic matters? The only thing I ever did to men was piss them off.
Take Anakin, for example. It was just a joke and instead of going along with it, he boiled over and verbally accosted me for half an hour! Typically, most men arguing with me will give up within ten minutes or so and walk away. But this guy stood toe to toe with me until I was the one who surrendered and stormed off. Huh. That was new.
"And live with 'what-if' the rest of your life?" I pointed out. "Just imagine what could happen if it did work out. You would have an amazing life! And the most beautiful babies!"
She blushed freely then and her grin widened substantially.
"We would, wouldn't we?" Padmé agreed, her dark eyes beginning to glow. "A girl and a boy to start. I'm fond of 'L' names, by the way. Layla or Landon, maybe."
I patted her knee and rose from the bed. "There you go. Think positive and keep your chin up! Our journey has only begun and there is so much more planned!"
Again and in rapid succession, her joy was replaced with worry. Was it something I said?
Happy I'd managed to divert another crisis, I began to redo her hair. The neat braids I had created that morning were now a tangled mess. We were both lost in our thoughts while I worked. I imagined she was trying to create a list of potential baby names while I was trying to figure out the next step in distracting Anakin away from Obi-Wan without making him so angry. Not that upsetting him bothered me. In fact – come to think of it. Fighting with him had so far been the highlight of my trip!