A/N: owners own stuff
Uthreida paced the cliff edge like a caged animal. Ragnar stamped the ground too much and made it difficult for her to watch. The sound of the night siege on the Warden's fortress, the screams from the men drowned out by her distance as she stood with Cullen, a few of his men, and the Inquisitor's party as the army tried every available method to gain entry into the Warden Stronghold.
The ladders were being pushed off by the wardens and sending soldiers to their deaths or flames by demons. The catapults taking the native rocks and hurling them at the fort. Giving the wardens rubble to throw from the battlements. The battering ram wasn't making a damn dent. It lacked a roof that allowed attacks from above.
She looked at Cullen with a clenched jaw. He sat on his horse with the same reserved expression of frustration, worry, and fear. In a hold that shouldn't house more than seventy-five to one hundred fifty people, their forces of two hundred were dwindling. Three reserve units awaited in the rear while the eight main assaulted were getting slaughtered by Wardens, demons, and rocks alike. Royoc sat on his armored war horse, his eyes taking in the dark scene with a relaxed expression.
Uthreida paced. Frustrated. After that meeting, she should've said something. Cyrodilic war methods would be to use the catapult on the corners, ballista on the doors, and damn the ram. But they can't know how Tamriel wars. Uthreida was afraid if Tamriel went to war, Thedas will know their stragities. But as she looked over the field, these were her men. Being slaughtered. She could end this. She could end the siege with fresh troops. But she was supposed to stay hidden. They couldn't know her powers. They can't know what she can do. Royoc can't see her as a threat. Not yet. Another ladder fell from the battlements and a soldier screamed as they hit the earth. Soldiers falling out on the ram as most of their time was spent cranking and holding the ram. Those with shields are unable to protect the workers and themselves.
It was taking too long. Her impatience overwhelming her. The Wardens were preparing. They had time to hold. They needed to move faster if they wanted surprise and ferocity. The longer they waited, the more time the dragon had to arrive and slaughter the men before even getting in.
The ram sounded again. The door still held.
She looked at the ram. Counting how long it took to pull it back. Stories of formations, of holds in Atmora that were taken in a single night. Talos's conquests. Eighteen battle mages could've blown down the door by now. But they had one dragon born. And half an idea.
Damning the consequences, she mounted Ragnar. "You need a new plan." She said to Cullen. His stiff jaw turned to her. "That battering ram won't hold. It's only a matter of time before some fire mage sets it aflame."
"I'm aware." His tone was annoyed and bored.
"Your men are falling. We need a new plan."
He looked over at her with a scrutable brow. "We're not going to win this siege in a night. Why do you think we brought three weeks of rations?" The sound of another Soldier falling from the ramparts diverged their attention for a moment before he shouted at her over the ruckus around them. "Did you not pay attention in the meeting last night?"
"Honestly, no." Cullen rolled his eyes at her honest statement. "But the longer we hold them, the longer the dragon has to come and kill all of us."
"I'm aware of the combat situation." He stated over her. "As you would know if you paid attention last night."
Uthreida huffed as she looked at him. "Dragon." she waved a hand vaguely to the air to indicate the point of her argument.
"Wardens." he pointed his hand to the fort to show the ferocity of the enemy. "Sieges don't just happen. They take time."
"Time you don't have to kill men you can't afford to lose."
He popped his neck and the look in his eyes showed he knew she was right. "It'll work."
"Then why aren't you down there to claim your impending victory?" She seethed. She kicked Ragnar hard and headed down the cliff. She jumped from Ragnar's back when she was within distance of the ram. She slapped the horse's flanks to get him to run. She stood behind the ram. Counting. Six soldiers? That's not going to do a damn thing. Timber this large would need twenty men just to pull it back. Either they got short changed, the men all died off, or Royoc is baiting her. And damn it all, it was working. Fuck it. "Wulfharth, stay with me. For our breaths are as long as winter."
She clenched her hands and took the opportunity.
"Fos…ro dah." Her push aimed at the battering ram and it slammed into the door. A louder bang from the ram and the Soldiers turned to see her heaving a breath as she put all of her strength into it. The door stood.
Formation of tongues in a wedge. She was one. One more time.
She watched the soldiers pull the cranks back and prepared again.
"Utha" Cullen called to her, "what do you think you're-"
Now. "Fos" time it, "ro dah."
The battering ram slammed into the door. The massive chains jostling at the movement. Splinters raining over the Soldiers from above. The gate still stood.
One more. She closed her eyes and breathed. Ignoring the sound of rocks falling from above to take out the soldiers. The image of the blood dragon soul came to her. Yes. She took it. Focused it. Enveloped in its heat of its power. Shoving Cullen behind her and listened to the clicking of the chains being pulled back. Her eyes adjusted to the soldier who pulled the lever. She breathed deep, ready.
He pulled.
"Fos, ro dah."
The ram flew without the constrains of the chains. Slamming into the door. The wooden frame of the ram jostled up off the ground. The wooden door now had a gaping hole and three soldiers in the front were felled by arrows and fire.
She tucked her head. She had her entry. She drew her weapons and began her assault. Victory or Sovngarde.
The soldier before her held his shield up and stopped a blow. Stabbing the single warden that rushed them. Uthreida looked beyond the Soldier and saw the formation of Warden Warriors, shields locked in a wall in a single line. She canted her head with a smile. "Fos." The center line was pushed back and kneeled at the push. "Surrender." They were hesitant as they stood.
"Inquisitor," Cullen called behind her. "You have your way in." Royoc moved to stand beside her, looking at the wall of wardens, fire, and all she could do was smile behind her full face helm. Cullen said something about demons and occupation. Uthreida looked up and saw the Soldiers fall from the battlements. She had her heading. She took a breath, smelling the fire and smoke and grinned.
"For the wardens" one shouted as they raised their sword.
"Wuld, na kest" she moved to him. Slicing her blade into the back and moved to the one on the left, taking knees with her axe. Slicing at the one behind her and rolled to cover. A warden stood before her and she sliced his inner thigh with her blade. Her axe going to the back of his head as he knelt forward to staunch the wound. She moved. Moving up the stairs to the battlements. The wardens lined the stairs with swords ready and arrows knocked. "Fos" the wardens were forced back or pushed off the stairs. Sliding her blade into throats as she ascended. She climbed and saw a fire thing roar at her. She smirked. "Liz slen nus." The ice crystals started up its body as it approached. It lifted a hand to attack only to stop. The ice taking over itsform. She flipped her axe and slammed the head into the creature. Watching the ice crystals skitter across the ground before her. Her blood pumped as she looked at the walls. The thrill of battle overflowing.
"Hey."
She turned at the unfamiliar voice. Someone was behind a cell door. She tilted her head as she approached. Dwarves. In the same blue armor. "Let us out." The male dwarf in front shouted. "My men are dying," the male dwarf shouted like an order. "You, Inquisition. Stop killing my men."
She looked at the lead dwarf. His blue warden armor glinting slightly in the moons. He had black tattoos that ran across both of his dark eyes, light brown hair fell over his face with dirt and a single braided beard. But the anger and ferocity in his eyes made her pause. "Why are you in this cell?"
"We few dwarves didn't agree with the Commander. So she locked us up. Let us out, we'll help you."
Uthreida looked him over. His anger was real, but if they turned, but they were locked up, but he wanted to save the wardens. She dropped to a knee and pulled out a lock pick.
"Behind you."
She turned to see a warden run at her with sword raised. "Krii Lun Aus." The warden fell to his knees, holding his chest and screamed in pain. She turned back to the lock and twisted. "Fall back," She yelled to the dwarves as she opened the cell door and pointed to the gate.
The lead dwarf stepped forward, he looked up at her and shook his head. "Forward." He called to those behind him. Eight dwarves dashed from the cell and ran to the fallen warden. Killing him and taking his weapons. "Thanks." The dwarf collected them and pushed on. "Push in. We have to end this madness."
Uthreida shook her head. Fuck it, she'll kill them later. She pressed on to the battlements. Looking for every stair that lead up. Her heart racing in her throat. The thrill of blood coating her weapons and hearing the roaring victory of each skirmish of the dwarves behind her.
She pressed in, finding the ladder she needed and climbed. "Inquisition." A warden shouted and ran at her. She smiled. Lifting her axe, she ran. She side stepped and slammed the axe into their neck. She walked forward. Two odd movements caught her attention as they floated towards her. "Zii Drem Vaaz." The shades glowed a weird blue as they approached, but faded into nothing as their spirits were ripped from them. Gone back to the fade.
"Dragon?" A frightened voice shuddered behind her. She turned to see an Inquisition soldier look at her with his weapon held tightly. The sound of him swallowing his courage made her smile. "We'll- we'll cover you, slayer." He stated slowly.
She turned and finished the walk on the rampart. Four more wardens stood in her path. She poped her neck, letting them scream at their assault. "Kyne Drev Ov." They stopped, looked at her and lowered their weapons. Each wearing a look of confusion as their will to fight vanished. She smirked as she walked right past them. The mage was out of range, slammed their staff into the ground as ice shot towards her. She rolled out of the way and ran. Her ebony blade slicing deep into the warden's chest. She watched with a malicious smile as the look of fear of death overcame the elven mage. Slowly slipping to their knees and off her weapon. She cleaned the blade on the crook of her elbow as she walked. Not hearing the foot falls of the peaced wardens behind her.
She moved on, going up the stairs and passing through barracks of a sort. She opened the door and looked at the ramparts. A large creature with horns and spikes raised its hands up to laugh in victory.
Finally. A worthy opponent.
She walked towards it. Stabbing and slicing wardens as they approached. One with a shield got behind her and slammed into her. Her axe flew from her hand. She called telekinesis to her hand and recalled the weapon. Backhanding the warden's helm as she slammed the axe down. She turned and looked at the beast who laughed.
She came into a jog at it. It lifted its hands to slam the stone.
"Wuld Na Kest"
She moved behind it and slashed at the knees of this creature. Severing every tendon she could reach. She moved to the front to finish it. It slammed a hand down to her. She dodged. She smashed her axe into its elbow to bring it down to her and went for the throat. The tip of her ebony blade cut through it cleanly. It gave a gurgled sound as it fell forward. Wasting no time. She used the axe to sever its neck. Two, three swipes and it was decapitated. She roared in victory over the dead creature.
The sound of the same laughter made her look up. Another. She sheathed her blade and used telekinesis to lift the head. She roared at the demon to catch its attention. It's many eyes turned to her as she raised the head for it to see, and let it drop. It chuckled and turned from its current engagement and walked towards her. She smiled. Drawing her axe, she jogged to it. Her armor taking a few arrows from the wardens as she drew on it.
An attack from the rear made it drop to a knee. It lifted a hand to attack. She used the beard of the axe to redirect its attack as she went for the throat. Savagely ripping the blade from its throat and seeing open wound spray blood over her armor. A man in red and black armor came to the front and nodded. An ice hit him from the rear making her stumble. She looked to see a creature swathed in black attack another in Inquisition armor. "Yol Toor Slen." Uthreida smirked as the creatures skin became an inferno of fire as it screamed in agony. Three of the warriors who were batteling the creature turned to look at her and she turned, looking for her next opponent.
A lightening attack hit her from the back. Uthreida fell to her knees. She looked up to see a young mage, holding his staff with white knuckles. His blue armor gave him away as the other near him looked at her with half helms of fear. She stood slowly to approach. A warden blocked her path with shield raised and sword pointed. But didn't attack. His face. His helm. Was familiar.
"They've surrendered," Blackwall shouted. He stood before her to protect the other wardens. Hawke stood next to him, his daggers poised ready.
Uthreida looked at the Warden with a breath of realization. Friend. She sheathed her axe. Panting from the exertion of battle. She wiped a hand on her armor and painted the rune for friend on their faces. She turned, seeing Royoc look at her with wide eyes. She drew her axe and kept her assault. With a smile on her face. She downed a health potion quickly and climbed.
She pressed on by nothing more then the wanted destruction and blood of battle. She found herself overlooking the courtyard. Now lost. No idea how she got there or how many she slain. She pushed the visor up to breathe. Her wounds and muscles now screaming in pain.
Foot steps.
She lowered her visor and spun her sword to cleave a throat. But met air.
She looked down and saw the dwarf she released earlier, his sword at her throat. "Expecting someone taller?"
She looked at the blade and smirked. "I was."
He pulled his blade back. "Eran Kadar. You any good with that?" He nodded to her shoulder. She looked over to even remember she had her bow with her for the dragon. "Decent enough."
He sheathed his blade and took a step forward. She followed his movements until she looked over the edge of the high tower she climbed in accident to see a courtyard with a fade rift below. It was surrounded by men as a warden and someone else walked the higher position above the others. "See the ass hat in white over there?" He pointed to the higher position. A man in white stood above the other wardens and Inquisition Soldiers. Royoc shouted at the people but she couldn't make it out. "He's the fuck stick that's behind all of this. Kill him. Now. End this. For all of us."
Uthreida pulled her bow as the green fade rift exploded in light. She knocked an arrow, looked at the banners as they moved in the wind. The wardens turned to see the two above them on the ledge. The Warden shaking her head at the man in white. Uthreida took a deep breath. The target moved slightly. But she adjusted for the wind. She loosed. The arrow flew.
And missed its mark.
The dwarf grunted as the mage tapped his staff to the stone. "I have more arrows." She justified.
The sound of a dragon in the sky made her look up. A black dragon encroached on them. So it begins.
"Take the shot." The dwarf ordered.
"That's my target." She pointed to the dragon as it got closer.
He grabbed her by the collar and pulled her down. "You don't kill him, more wardens will die. Take the shot." He shouted in her face.
The dragon roared again. She shoved him off. She knocked another arrow and followed the dragon.
"The Tevinter, you imbecile." The dwarf shouted again.
She loosed the arrow, missing as it circled. It landed on a tower on the other side of the courtyard. She smiled as it looked over the group below them. "Joor Zah Frul."
The white mist circled its wings and she smiled. It gave a roar, and shook its body. Shaking off the spell. Uthreida's jaw dropped as she looked at the dragon. "What the fu-" it looked at her tower and breathed. "Move." She grabbed the warden dwarf by the back of the neck and pushed him down the stairs. It's thu'um filled the stairway as red crystals filled the once terrance. She ran past the dwarf, slipping the bow back over her shoulder, down the stairs to get a view of the sky. She saw it circle again.
She was pulled back down by the collar to look at the dwarf. "What were you thinking?" He yelled.
"Fos." He rolled away from her a few times before landing on his back. "Fuck off." She took off in a jog, unslinging her bow and realizing she was going to have to do this the hard way. She looked for the shadows to indicate the presence of the dragon but saw none. Demons started to reappear on her path as she drew arrows and loses as fast as she could. She turned the corner and almost ran into the Inquisitor and his team. Each member raised their weapons to fire and she took a breath.
"Dragon," Royoc stated quickly with wide eyes, his hand waived vaugly to the sky to indicate what he saw.
"I know." She gave her own frustrated shout as she ran with them. They ran down the battlements to find it. It followed them and Uthreida lined up a shot. It landed on the side of the fort before them. She, Sera, and Solas took shots into this side. It gave a guttural sound and looked at them. She grabbed the person closest to her. "Move. Hide."
It took a deep breath and she pulled the person on the column to protect from the Thu'um.
The heat from its fire super-heated the hall they were trapped in. She looked up to see an older warden looking at her then trying to see the dragon from around the column. The fire moved to the other side of the hall. Clearing it for them.
"What are you doing, Slayer?" Royoc yelled from a pillar back.
"My best." She shouted back. Knocking another arrow and stepped out from her spot. It turned its head back to them. She loosed, the arrow flew and landed in the jaw. "Fos. Ro dah."
Its Thu'um was canceled. She knocked an arrow and stepped out. Its chest was exposed. She took a breath as it roared. She loosed and it moved. The arrow landing in the stomach of the beast.
She cursed. "Move." More demons spawned as the dragon kept taking shots at the team. She let them worry over the demons as she focused on the dragon. Taking any shot she could as it flew around them. Landing three. It circled the fort again. She needed higher ground.
She moved and ran up the stairs available to get the shot she needed. Royoc caught up. "What are you doing?"
"My usual methods aren't working. I have to do this the hard way." She shouted back as they climbed the stairs.
"Then do something."
"I'm trying." Her patience snapping with the man as she bit at him.
They turned and came to the battlements where mages were fighting. Uthreida looked to the skies. She didn't see it. Where is it? She walked to the edge to see it as the man in white she was aiming at earlier was thrown across the stone. He seems to be taken care of. Where is the dragon?
The sound of wings made her turn. She was on the wrong side. She knocked an arrow. The dragon landed and she drew. It picked up the female mage warden in its mouth and flew off again. She took the shot and watched as it hit its mid-section. It landed in a nearby tower, looking at them.
"Drop it." She yelled at the dragon with a snap like an unruly dog. "Drop it."
The dragon threw the warden to the stone. She moved slightly, alive, barely.
The dragon made its slow descent from the tower down to them on the bridge. Uthreida and the dragon had nowhere to run. She drew another arrow, hearing the groan of wood as Sera lined up her shot. Uthreida was ready for its Thu'um this time. It slowly walked to them.
Something happened and the bridge started to shake. Her arrow flew as the bridge started to fall under them. The dragon made a sound of panic. Uthreida threw her bow down and drew her melee weapons. She ran at it. "You will not get away." She jumped off the breaking bridge and fell. Calling the whirlwind, Uthreida passed through the rocks and landed in the dragon's stomach. Her blades making contact with the ribs that held her weapons in place. It gave a roar and rolled. Her muscles screamed as her dead weight was hanging onto and off of the dragon. With nothing more than pride and stubborn will, she climbed. Her blades locking in the ribs of the dragon as it flew. It banked and turned to throw her. Uthreida took a deep breath and shouted to bend the dragons will. It gave a roar at her command as she climbed. "Gol Hah Dov." Its body contorted and jerked as it flew. Uthreida looked at the dragon, then, like a fool, looked at the ground that she was too far away from. The primal fear that she was not supposed to be flying crept up her throat and sealed her lungs. She needed to end this but was running out of time. If she bent the will again, it might work. But if it didn't, she wouldn't have the thu'um to save her from the fall. And at this height as they flew, she didn't think she would survive. She looked back at the black scales of the dragon and forced herself up on the shoulder of the dragon. Her own shoulders screaming in pain as she tried to climb. Uthreida took a deep breath and hoped to any Divine that was listening that this would. She shouted the bend will Thu'um. The dragon tried to move as if to swat at her. She kept low, the beard of her ax in its shoulder blade to cut a wing if Uthreida needed to. She tilted her head and knew she was going to die how she lived. Like an idiot. "Gol Hah Dov." The dragon relaxed at her Thu'um, flying normally without fight. Oh, blessed are the divines, it finally took.
"Land. Gol. Pindaar." It refused. She stabbed its back and it roared again. "Land. Now."
It soared around an odd rock formation and started to circle an area. Its wings spread wide as it landed. The rough landing jostled her axe. The dragon gave a violent shake to throw Uthreida off. She spun the axe to the pick and slid it into its chest as she slid off of it. Her boots hit the ground and she went for the throat with her dragon blade. It jumped back from her with a snarl. It took a breath. "Fos ro dah." The dragons Thu'um was canceled as Uthreida ran at it.
It looked off east as a second dragon roared. Uthreida stopped to verify. A yellow dragon clawed its way out of a deep sand pit and snapped at the black dragon. It jumped back. The yellow dragon took a breath at the black dragon and Uthreida did not stop it. The yellow dragon doused the black dragon in the fire. It gave a pained whimper, backing away from the larger yellow. The Black dragon opened its wings and took to the sky.
Uthreida watched her opportunity fly off and called dragon rend on the black dragon. She watched as the white mist didn't touch the dragon as it flew off. She grunted annoyed. Her body screaming in muscular pain from the night.
The yellow dragon snarled. Uthreida looked at it with wide eyes. It turned to face her. Uthreida held up her blades, taking a breath of courage and hoping the healing from her helmet would go a little faster. Uthreida needed to buy time. "Drem yol lok." It tilted its head at her. Studying her. It circled her slowly. "Zu'u Dovahkiin Uthredda."
It paused. Lowering its head. It opened its wings to her. "Drem yol lok, Dovahkiin." Uthreida paused for a second as weak fire enveloped her. This was most unusual. She awkwardly bowed to the dragon. "Zu'u Gorranyol."
"Well met."
"Indeed." The dragon tilted her head. "I have heard of you, Dovahkiin. You kill our kind without recourse. You are wounded. Why should I not kill you?"
She looked down at herself and nodded at the truth. "It would be an honorable way to die."
"Why have you come here?"
Uthreida looked up at the dragon and took a deep breath. "That one brought me here." She jutted her chin to where the black dragon took off.
"Why?"
"I don't know. I told her to land and this is where she choose."
It tilted its head to her. It's curved horns looking like a ram. "You were trying to kill her?"
Uthreida looked at where the dragon flew off then at the current one. "Aye."
It was stationary as it looked at Uthreida. "Good." Uthreida lowered her brows to the dragon. "She reeks of the corruption." Its eyes turned to the location where the black dragon went. She looked back at Uthreida. With a patient and thoughtful look. "You are wounded, friend. Let us share the hunt." Uthreida pulled her head back. She's really nice. "You are wounded. You will need to heal to kill her." The dragon turned its back to Uthreida. "But if you harm my dovahlaan, I will kill you, and they feast on your flesh."
Uthreida nodded quickly. "That's fair." She watched as the dragon went down into the sand dune. Uthreida looked about her and closed her eyes. "Bas." She looked. Nothing registered. No mortals were nearby. She took an awkward step towards the sands and descended to follow the dragon. "Gorranyol," she called as she walked beside it. "Why are you not afraid to speak to me?"
The dragon looked at her smaller form with an odd tilt of its head. "So you murder my kin in their silence?"
Uthreida opened her mouth to argue but silenced it. "It would appear so."
"My Laan do not speak. Stay your blades."
Uthreida jogged slightly to catch up with the massive creature. "I was told that the dragons weren't allowed to speak to mortals. Less they should learn the Thu'um again."
"That is true. But you already know it. The ancient law no longer applies." She looked at Uthreida with a canted head. "And perhaps I miss conversation."
She smiled at the dragon, thinking of Paarthurnax. Uthreida looked at the valley and saw little black dots move and pounce along the sands. Dovahlaan. Larger ones kept to themselves, laying down and sleeping. One popped its long neck up to see her approach. It stood, garnering the two others to raise their heads and watch Uthreida approach with the female. The other longer necked ones stood slowly. Watching her approach. Uthreida felt the hesitation in their looks. But judging from the lack of wings, they were the males. This high dragon's harem of three males.
The dragon took a breath and called fire. Uthreida looked over to see her lighting a carcass aflame. The little dots ran to it, circling it. Each taking bites and then backing off from the heat. She looked at the dragon who slowly moved to lay down, resting on her elbows. Her head was still erect to watch the mortal. Uthreida looked at the dragons in the basin, then at the larger one. "Gorranyol, I have questions. A lot of questions."
It looked at her with a tilted head. "You need to rest, Dovahkiin. There is a place on the other side that will protect you from the sun." The dragon looked over and Uthreida followed her gaze to the stone cut out like a tomb. The muscles in her arms and legs now screaming in pain as the thrill of battle was wearing off. She felt tired at the prospect. "We will speak on the next moon." The dragon looked at the flaming hunt. "You may take some of the hunt as well for your meal."
Uthreida nodded, not wanting to overstay her welcome, but needed sleep and rest. She moved, keeping her distance from the young ones so not to anger the dragon. She was able to slice off a decent slice of the mystery meat from the beast for her meal. She moved into the tomb and found the opening safe. She threw her pack down. Unable to have the strength or want to remove her armor, she chewed on the meat as she let sleep take her.
Uthreida awoke the next day sore and thirsty. She reached for her water skin to find it almost empty. She hydrated on the potions she had and some hard tact for a snack. She popped out to see the dragon sleeping on her stomach, her wings outstretched over the ground where her children slept under her wings. Uthreida looked in her dragon hip pocket guide and discovered she was saved by a sandy howler. Native to the deserts.
Uthreida watched them for a time as she stripped off her armor. Checking wounds for infection and groaning at the bruising. She ripped shirts for bandages and applied ointments where necessary. Draining her magicka of healing and hydrating on magicka potions. She looked at the howler again. Still asleep in the light of the day. Uthreida started to think she had the right idea. She waited. Sleeping off the battle and the wounds in her melting helmet of healing.
Uthreida was awakened by the sound of a roar. She grabbed her axe and stood at the entrance of the tomb. The howler had flapped her wings and took off. Hunting, Uthreida assumed. She looked at the sky and saw that it was closer to dusk. She yawned, removing her helmet and rubbing sleep from her eyes as the younger dragons frolicked and played in the basin.
In the silence, she wondered if the Inquisitor was successful. She worried for Cullen. She worried if she made the wrong move. Showed too much of her powers to the wrong people. How she should move forward. If she should even go back. If she went back, they may try to kill her. If she didn't, she broke her word. Broke her contract.
She could run. She is free of them. Here. No one would find her. Look for her. She could go home. Never see the sands again. Never see Skyhold. As much as she wanted to see Cullen, prove her sanity, she had only invested seven months with them. She wasn't losing much.
She knelt. Holding her legs to her chest. Watching the younger dragons. Her people needed food that the Empire wasn't going to give. They needed resources their neighbors would horde. And with Ulfric on the warpath for the Thalmor, they'll be beaten down. Time and again. They needed Fereldan, and Fereldan needed the Inquisition to win this war.
She could stay here in Thedas. Bend her blades. Start a new life. She had a sack of Orlesian gold. It could get her started. Find a small place. Start a garden. Retire. Marry under Andrastian law. Have a family. She doesn't have to choose war, right? She can choose. She looked away. How long before she couldn't speak? Bound and gagged to protect everyone around her like the stories of old. Like the Grey Beards. How long until she couldn't stay silent? At the defemorities of this land. Of their culture of hate and indifference. How long can she hide what she is? She looked down at her exposed arms. The scars of battle and arrows. She can't hide. Not for long. Her eyes trailed to her tattoos. She can't hide here. If anything, she'll only dominate.
She could choose the Avvar. She had two holds to choose from. She could travel south to the Sunless Lands. Be a Queen there. No one would expect. Take a horde to the door of Denerium. Take Thedas one nation at a time. Alistair may fight but lacks the Thu'um to win. The Empire of Orlais is already in chaos, easy enough. The King of Nevarra and Antiva are old and weak. The rulers of the Free Marches are disconnected. And she's fighting Tevinter now. But knew nothing of Revain or the Anderfels. Could be easy. Could be disastrous. She pouted as she looked over the sands and the dovahlaan. That is exactly Coryphus's plan. Her great plan of escape was the same as her enemy. Like Miraak.
She pulled the hammer of Talos from her throat, placing the iron between her lips. Trying to figure out how to move forward. It was the right thing to go back. Right? She made an oath to the King. Signed a contract. She may not be an assassin anymore, but she is bound to her oath. Right? That's what honorable warriors do, right? She looked to the clear blue sky. She can't hide anywhere. Even if she choose to run back to Skyrim, Ulfric would put her on the front lines for his new war. Weather with Thedas, or with Thalmor. She needed intel in Thedas, right? She's now seen how they politic, how they siege, their view on magic, or rather, lack thereof. She wanted to know how that dragon got away from her. Guarantee there's going to be a few questions about that. She wanted to know of this land's magic and why it was different from her own even as they shared the magicka. She pulled at the necklace, wondering if honor was another form of slavery as she looked over the dune. Wondering what the price of oath-breaking was here.
She bowed her head, placing her hands to her knees. "Talos, Stendaar," she paused, uncertain of her movement or moral dilemma. "I want peace. For my land. And I know it's built on the back of war. I" she sighed in frustration. "What do I do?" She looked out over the dunes for a sign or something. When nothing came, as if oddly expecting a whale to appear and tell her 'go home' was more in the realm of hallucinations than anything, she allowed her mind freedom to wander. Hoping a pearl of wisdom would come.
A few hours passed as Uthreida waited for the howler to return. Watching the larger ones as they watched her. A loud thump followed by a Yol Thu'um filled the basin as a corpse was dropped from the sky and set aflame.
The young ones circled the fire, eager for a meal. The larger ones kept their distance and let them eat first. The ground shook as the howler landed. Licking her front paws, she laid on the sand again. Uthreida looked at her armor, then at the dragon. She took a breath of courage, strapping only her axe to her hip, she exited the tomb.
All eyes turned to her as movement in their lair. She walked to the dragon and held her arms wide. "Drem yol lok, Gorranyol."
The dragon made a sound like a laugh. "Drem yol lok, Dovahkiin. Have you healed?"
"It is a process."
She made a throated sound of acknowledgment before looking over her children. "You still have questions?"
"Only if you want tinnvak?"
She gave a nod. Uthreida sat before her in the sands. "Do you know who that dragon was?"
The dragon licked her claws again. "That was Niithilin. The last of Alduin and Uthrameil."
Uthreida stopped breathing. Alduin had a daughter? Who became a new evil dragon of destruction? She paused at her question. "You know Alduin?"
"I know of Alduin. He was before my time. The dragon god of the gone lands."
Uthreida lowered a brow. "Then how do you know…Niithilin, is of Alduin's ilk?"
The dragon tilted her head. "Black dragons are always the children of the Bormahu."
Uthreida lowered her brows at the dragon and looked away. That sounded more like dragon culture rather than historical fact. She remembered her conversation with Odiviing. "Why did the Jill leave?"
The dragon flicked its head. "It's hard to say. Too much history, not enough elders."
Odiviing said they left under the orders of Alduin. This high dragon may be old, but not dragon wars old. "If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?"
She looked down with something akin to a smirk. "Over seven hundred and eighty seven cycles of the sun."
"Oh." So young comparatively. "Are you, a Jill?"
It looked at her with a laugh. "The Jills are no more, child. They no longer exist. We are what remains of that blood."
Uthreida lowered her brows at the words. Feeling like she missed something she never had. "What does it mean to be a female dragon?" She found herself asking. The dragon tilted its head at her. "Since I started this path, all I've seen were male dragons. As a female, what does it mean to be a dragon?"
It took a breath as it looked over its children. "What does it mean to be dov?"
"To have power. Dominance in one's blood and the strength to achieve all through ambition."
It gave a slow nod. "Why is being female any different?"
Uthreida looked away. "I thought the jill were minute menders. Healers of the world."
"But there are no more jills. The ancient dragon's slumber. And when they awaken, they are forced into the mortal world and are corrupted." Uthreida looked away. Her eyes were on her hands. "They cannot hide what they are. And once they learn, the corrupted will always try to change it for their needs. Dragons stand against it. Unashamed of their power and dominance."
Uthreida looked at her with sorrowed eyes. Why must it always be war? "How do you stop the corruption?"
"By killing all life." She said indifferently. "Yet, life is a defiance against the corruption. To stand proudly and boldly against it. And refuse to yield to it. That is what it means to be a dragon." Uthreida looked up to see her looking at her children. Creating life to stop the corruption even if it might affect her offspring. "A question, if I may." Uthreida nodded. "Why have you slaughtered so many of us?"
Uthreida looked at the dragon's teeth, her claws, her wings, and felt the justice she would receive. "Humans of this land don't understand. They don't know. They think you dragons incapable of thought." She snorted. "But we know different. You can't speak unless you break ancient law."
"But why?"
Uthreida took a deep breath. "The mortals are at war. They think dragons would destroy their supply lines. But, I've recently learned that the one they war with, maybe trying to collect and use dragons."
She made a sound like a laugh. "Foolish."
"Seeing the black dragon, they've done it once. I think they're trying again. Maybe. I'm not certain."
She felt the howler shift slightly. "And you prevent the dragons from becoming like Niithilin?"
She nodded slowly. "Aye."
"I don't know if I should eat you, or thank you."
"The hate is justified."
"So would be the thanks." She said softly. "We dragons have always had a fear of the corruption. And over my short years, I've seen it spreading. Killing. Although, without it, this desert would not exist. And my laan may not have a place to live."
Uthreida quirked a brow. "You speak of corruption. Moral or physical?"
She laughed again. "They become one, over time. It starts small, as all ambitions do. But it grows. And grows. Slowly taking the life and turning it into something darker than it was. We dragons are attuned to it. We are, repulsed by it."
Uthreida had to look away to put the pieces together. This desert was made during a blight. Of darkspawn. Does that mean the corruption is the same? "You mean dragons are attuned to darkspawn?"
"Is that what you call the Krassinar? The corrupted."
"Aye, I think so. The mortals call them darkspawn. Why are dragons attuned to them?"
She looked down at the human. "Because they are the opposite of what we are."
Uthreida tilted her head. "How so?"
"We are children of Bormahu. They are the sickness of the other side. Adversaries will always know one another from across the field. But they use us. Infect us like Niithilin, to watch us fall to them. To see us crawl. Because they remember what it was like to not be trapped my mortality, and desire to see it across all life."
"Do they frighten you?"
The dragon blinked slowly. "Yes." She looked over her small valley. Her family. "I fear what they will bring. What they will do to my laan. But my children are needed for the future. But they are many. And I am one." She tilted her head slightly. "There are others in the desert who carry the krass. The sickness. They glow red in anger."
"Red?" Uthreida looked at her with a brow.
"Hm. They carry it, but are not part of it."
Uthreida clenched her jaw. What was she speaking of? "What else is in your desert that shouldn't be here?"
The dragon tilted her head at her. "There those who wear black, and kill their own. Others who dig all hours of the day. And those that glow red. They kill my hunts and leave their bodies to rot."
"Are there fade rifts in the desert?" The dragon turned her head slowly in question. "Green lights that spawn demons."
"Ah." She nodded slowly. "I have seen some. Zii-ahraan. Broken spirit wounds. The jill were used to close them. To bring balance. But they slumber still."
"How did they close them?"
"I do not know, Dovahkiin."
Uthreida gave a breath. "That is the war we face. To close the zii ahraan and end the krass."
The dragon's silence made Uthreida look at her. The dragon gave a slight tilt in her head. "Hi thu'um shalo. Your voice waivers in hesitation."
Uthreida looked away. Shame filling her gut as she thought of her wonderings earlier that day. "This is not my war. These are not my lands. These are not my people."
Gorranyol crossed her front legs. "To be dov is to be part of the world. To be dov is to ride the currents of time. For all are subject to it. You walk the land, as they do. You are mortal, as they are. And you war, like they do. Every war is your war. For that is what it means to be Dovahkiin. You are the protector of mortals with the blood of the Dov. To put us down as needed, but to raise them as required. To speak into the fires of time. And to fulfill the will of Bormahu."
Uthreida reflected as she looked away. Doom driven from Tsun came to her. She looked over the valley of the smaller ones now eating the body that was delivered as the older ones circled it. Gorranyol was right. Uthreida is mortal, with the power of a dragon. "Should I go back?" She asked softly. The dragon lowered its head to hear her. "If I go back, I'll keep killing dragons."
"I would suggest restraint." Each of her words were as pointed as her teeth.
Uthreida looked away. "I cannot be seen speaking to them. The mortals will see and learn the words. They will learn the Thu'um from me. But if I kill them, the dragons, they ask fewer questions." She took a breath. "Is it safer to kill, and keep the mortals ignorant, or to speak to dragons, learn from them, and tell the mortals the truth?"
Gorranyol looked over her children with a heavy sigh. "You will die long before me. And they will live. Remain silent. The less the mortals know, the longer we live. And more ignorant food for the dovahlaan. Speak when you can, but do what you must." The dragon looked down at her. "I can not tell you how to seal the zii ahraan. Nor can I tell you how to win this war of the mortals. But it is apparent that you must put Niithilin down. Not only for her sake, but for the sake of all Dov in this land. My briinah will not go silently into the night to be used as slaves for the mortals. Succumbing to the repugnance of the krass and the will of Tahrovin." Uthreida tilted her head at the last word. "Spirit of Chaos. The opposite of Bormahu."
Uthreida smiled at the dragon. If Bormahu was Akatosh, then Tahrovin was Lorkan or Padomay. Or even Sithis. Giving credence to her red lyrium theory. "The krass is from Tahrovin?" The dragon gave a slow nod. Uthreida was connected to the land. The people. As a dragon, her adversary was the corruption of Tahrovin, not Lorkan. This war was hers. And Corypheus was somehow manipulating it for his benefit and has somehow infected a dragon with it. She was brought here to protect the dragons from his manipulations. And with Odiviing, she could help the dragons become stronger. This was her war. This was her duty. Uthreida smiled into her lap. Thankful for Gorranyol's blessing and reminding her what her path and purpose was. "Don't suppose you know where the mountains are?"
"There are mountains everywhere, Dovahkiin."
"Frostbacks. Covered in snow and ice." The dragon cocked her head to the side to indicate it was just as informative as before. "Ah, I assume I'm still in Orlais." The dragon blinked slowly. Uthreida tried to visualize the map on Cullen's desk. "East?"
She lifted her head and looked off. "That way. It is a few hour travel by flight."
Uthreida laughed. The last thing she needed was to tell the Inquisitor that not only can she consume dragon souls, speak their tongue, know enough to escort and befriend, she can ride them, and, theoretically, become one too. Right up to his gatehouse.
That'll be an interesting conversation. With Cullen. Watching his brain explode.
She looked in the direction of the mountains and took a deep breath. "May I ask more questions?"
The dragon curled its mouth like a smile. "I fear I become greedy with tinvaak, Dovahkiin. And you need to heal. We can speak another time."
Uthreida stood and held her arms wide like wings. "Thank you for your wisdom, Gorranyol." She nodded and allowed Uthreida to walk back to the tomb to meditate on what was said tonight. As she sat, she looked at her hand. The slight tremor that came when her hand was open. Great. And not a drop of alcohol in sight.
She fell on her pack, her eyes closing as she was enveloped by Vaermina. Dreams of dovahlaan and chains, passed from her father, to Frey, to Astrid, then Kodalak. The Harbinger dropped them. Uthreida looked up to see a soft smirk on the old man's face. A black wolf stepped forward from the shadows. His silver eyes and something akin to a smirk showed his teeth. The wolf leaned forward and picked up the chains, wrapped them about her throat, careful of her growing wings. He rubbed the side of his head into hers. She noticed the wolf had the same chains wrapped and locked about its own throat. He licked the wound on her face but stepped away from her. Ulfric tried to grab the chain, but couldn't get a handle. The wolf smiled again. Nothing more dangerous than an animal that holds its own leash. Isran knelt, tapping his thigh to comfort her to his side. Allowing her to follow if she chose. She walked as Agrir bowed. She felt pulled as Royoc tried to loosen the leash for his hand. Behind him was a menagerie of animals. Of bulls, bears, cats, birds, and dogs. Each is chained in a cage. She heard the chuff of a sabercat. But when she saw the mane, saw the blue chain that dragged on the ground behind it. Its presence scaring Royoc as it approached. Its golden eyes and scarred whiskers flicked to the chain Uthreida was dragging. Not moving to help her. She picked up the chain in her mouth. The Lion looked at the men, the leaders she passed. Silent as he sat down next to her. Uthreida looked at each of them. They were collared, but not chained. The Lion looked up, and Uthreida followed his eyes. Dragons flew above them. Unchained, uncollared. They simply are.
The Lion looked at her again. A slight tilt of his head as if wondering what she would do.
Uthreida dropped the chains that were in her mouth. The lion looked back at Royoc, who took a step back. Uthreida looked down at her chest and tried to break the collar with her teeth. The lion held up a paw to her nose to stop her. She looked at the lion, realizing that she couldn't break the collar of mortality. The lion nuzzled the chain, picking it up and wrapping it around her throat again. He touched his nose to hers with a pained look. He walked away. Letting his own chains of honor drag behind him. Uthreida ran to his side, touching the chain.
The lion stopped. But shook his head. She bit at the chain only for the lion to stand resilient against it. The lion gave a perplexed look at her. But shook his head again. The lion stepped on the chain and pulled from the throat. Loosening the chain from the collar, but stopped. Uthreida watched as the lion struggled to look menacing while his mouth was full of metal. She looked over to see the black wolf look at her, watching patiently with a smile. Uthreida took the hanging chain and wrapped it around the lion's throat for him. The lion offered a nod of thanks. His eyes going to the leaders she would have to go back to. Then turned to see the menagerie. Walking towards it as if it was his duty to remain outside the cages to protect.
Uthreida looked over her shoulder to see Ulfric and the leaders of all the guilds. Then Royoc who was rattling the cage of the sleeping white wolf. Her eyes going back to the flying dragons. Not knowing where she belonged.
Xxxxx
Cullen threw another rock to the side. If he can clear this, this is the only pile large enough to hold it. He removed his armor hours ago. Motivated by fear alone as he and his team moved boulders aside to dig.
When Royoc returned from the Fade, without Hawke, ordered all wardens out of southern Thedas, he discovered the dragon took off. And his wife hadn't been seen since it left.
He tried to keep it back. He tried not to let it show. But with each boulder, each rock, all he could feel was the immense weight of the thought of losing her. And as minutes ticked to hours to days, the guilt and fear turned into anger.
He couldn't face the thought. She couldn't be dead. It's impossible. She's too stubborn to die by a rock. Or, rather, rocks.
His team recovered her bow a few hours ago. Broken.
She couldn't be gone. His heart in his throat as he rolled another rock aside. She couldn't be dead. It's impossible, right? She can't. She can't. She, Maker.
"Commander," Cassandra called up to him. Cullen ignored her and moved another rock. Ordering his men to be safe as they removed the rubble. "Commander." She called again, her voice growing impatient. Cullen swallowed the fear and anger as he pushed another aside. Letting it roll down the hill. Recovering a large section of stones that will require horses and brontos to move.
His felt his blood set aflame and spun to see Cassandra looking up at his hill of rocks with a look of growing ire. She moved so one finger was pointed at her side. Demanding he come down. Cullen growled at her. He slid his way down the hill of rubble to be at her side. "What." His tone not wanting an answer but action.
"You keep this up, the Grey Wardens are going to have to pay you for renovating their keep." She crossed her arms and looked him over with a matching annoyed expression. She looked him over as if to survey his shirtless chest that was covered in sunburns and dirt. "What has gotten into you?"
Cullen ran a hand through his hair to keep his anger in something of check. "I have work to do."
"No, you don't." She grabbed him by the arm. The sunburn intensifying the pain on his skin. "You have to lead these men. So lead."
"I am" he flicked a hand to the hill.
"This" she waved a hand at the rubble "is not your job, Commander. That is." She moved her hand to the other side where prisoner carts were loaded as artifacts were piled on carts. Cullen paced, looking at the carts. "What are you doing over here?" Cullen shook his head. "The men confirmed the dragon flew off. What is it you're hoping to uncover?"
"She's gone." He snapped. Her look of mild confusion made him realize that she either didn't know, or didn't care. He looked away. Saying it out loud, hearing it from his own throat, made it hurt that much more. "She's gone." He said softer, the block in his throat threatened tears as he tried to swallow it back and down. He ran a hand over his face to stop this weakness. "Uthreida's" he stopped the tears, but his breath was shaking. His knees shook where he stood.
She's gone.
She's-
He kept his hand to his eyes, hiding it as much as possible from the Seeker. He failed her. He failed his marriage. He failed to keep her safe. To protect her as he promised. He sent her to the dragon and it won. Maker, she's- shes…
A hand touched his shoulder and seared his red skin. Cassandra took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Commander. Cullen. I-" she sighed. "I didn't know you two had grown closer. I'm…I'm so sorry for your loss."
Cullen hung his head. "We found her bow. Broken. She wanted to try. She wanted- and I sent her to it. To the dragon."
She took a shaking breath. Cullen looked up to see tears in her eyes as well as a stiff jaw. "It was her job. I've read Solas' report. She went to it bravely. She tried to slay it but" she bit her lips and took a breath. "Cullen, you can't do this." He shook his head. "I know you want to recover her yourself, and hope and pray that she still breathes" Cassandra licked her lips as she looked at the pile. "It's been three days. If we haven't found her yet-"
"Don't-" he cut a hand across the air and swallowing back his own. "Maker, don't you, of all people, tell me to lose hope."
She looked at him with a tight jaw. "I ask that you redirect your energies. Your men can handle this. You're needed over there."
"I need to find my wife." He all but shouted.
"Cullen." She bit to control him. But her eyes and shaking breath told him she was struggling too. "She is not the only one who died here."
"Don't." He took shorter breaths, feeling the lump return in his throat. His eyes closed to the truth.
"You are not the only one affected. The others feel the loss too. And now the Inquisition is down a dragon slayer-"
"She was my wife."
"And you're using Inquisition assets to locate her."
"Like you're not to locate the Seekers?"
She made an indignant sound at his retort. "I will let that slide as you are obviously distraught. Cullen." He turned away from her but she moved to block his path. "These are your men. You need to lead. And I know it hurts to lose a loved one, and I know I'm wrong to forgo you time to grieve, but they need you now." He looked away from her to the men who were taking orders, presumably from her or Royoc. She took a shaking breath again. "We will hold a ceremony for those that passed, and hers will be the first name. But for right now, we have to set our personal feelings aside."
"We wouldn't have broken the siege if it wasn't for her."
"We know." She looked at the rubble then him. "Gather your armor, let's regroup, and then establish where to go from here. The siege equipment needs to be taken back. Men need to be reposted, and you need time to grieve. Come. Inquisitors demanding a meeting."
Cullen looked at the pile of rubble again. "I can't just do nothing."
"I'm not asking you to do nothing. I'm asking that you pick up your mantle, and walk with me to the Inquisitor's tent. Let's get through this meeting-"
"She's under there and-"
"Commander." She looked about them quickly to check their surroundings of listening ears.
He shook his head. "She's there. She, she has to be. Where else-"
"Cullen, please."
"I-"movement caught his attention as Blackwall, Dorian, and Sera all approached. Cullen quickly took two deep breaths to steady his nerves. They stood next to the Seeker, their eyes on the mountain of rubble. Dorian gave a deep breath and pulled out his staff. "Well, let's get to work then. Commander, I believe you're wanted by the Inquisitor." He gave a hard smirk as he walked off towards the pile. Cullen looked to the others. Sera shook her head at the pile, a pained look on her face as she walked towards it. Blackwall met his eyes. A sadness of mutual understanding was there. He nodded and started his ascent on the rubble.
Cassandra licked her lips quickly. "You are not the only one who mourns." She said softly. "Come."
Cullen grabbed his armor and mantle with half a mind and followed her into the red tent. His eyes had to adjust to the dimmer light of the table full of requisitions, inventories, and expensive food. His eyes were drawn to the wine. She hated wine.
"Commander." He looked over to see Royoc standing there with Warden Loghain. Cullen didn't even bother with pleasantries. Royoc arched a brow at his appearance. "Working?" Cullen dropped his armor by the door as he walked to the wine selection, and opened the first bottle he found. "Maybe not too much, we still have work to do."
"That'll be all, Inquisitor," Loghain stated lowly.
"Beg your pardon?"
"That'll be all. Take your leave."
"Warden Loghain. This is my ten-" Cullen didn't even look to see why he stopped talking. Or why he stormed out.
The wind was louder than his racing mind and numbed hands as he drank. "That man does not see to reason on any level," Loghain stated quickly. He took a deep breath but Cullen kept his gaze on the bar. "Scotch is in the back."
Cullen corked the wine and found the scotch. Not even bothering with the cup as he took a seat. He took a heavy gulp, welcoming the burn in his throat more than the emptiness in his chest. "What was this meeting supposed to be about?"
Loghain pulled a seat a comfortable distance from him. "I wouldn't know."
Cullen nodded. He looked over at the table and the usual listings. Nothing was really needed of him. And if he was so insistent, Royoc was trying to paint him in a bad light in front of Loghain. Probably to prevent him from leaving for Weishaput and replacing Cullen. He took another drink.
Loghain tilted the bottle back down from his lips. "This was a victory, Commander. You should be drinking in celebration."
"I just lost my wife." He stated to his hands hanging limply and useless in his lap.
Loghain shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You might want to take another drink." Cullen knocked the bottle back and didn't even taste the liquor. "Do you mind if I ask?"
"Dragon."
"What dragon?" Cullen flicked a hand vaguely to the warden keep. "She is-was, the dragon slayer of the Inquisition." Loghain was silent but he felt the older man's eyes on him.
Loghain opened his hand to ask for the bottle. Cullen passed it slowly. Loghain took a sip and passed it back. "Brave woman. She saved me from the dragon. Before the whole, falling into the Fade bit."
Cullen took a deep breath, resting the bottle on his thigh. He eyed the older warden and sighed. Knowing his history as well as any other peasant in Fereldan. "Do you ever recover?" He asked while swallowing the lump in his throat.
Loghain took a deep breath. "Do you want the truth or the Chantry lie?"
He could guess the lie, meaning the truth was harder to swallow. He let the alcohol numb his inhibitions. He threw his head to rest on the back of the chair. "Is it always going to be this hard?"
"Losing soldiers? No. Losing loved ones. Always."
Cullen closed his eyes. Taking sharp breaths to stop the tears but his breath giving him away. He looked at the tent flap with a numbness. Seeing it without watching it flitter in the breeze. "How did you do it? How did you get the news of her passing, and kept on working?"
Loghain took another breath, the chair groaning as he leaned back. "It was necessary. I didn't have a choice. Someone had to do it. And it certainly wasn't Calin. Anora was in grief enough as it was. I think I spent the first two days doing what you're doing now. In greater volume. But," he breathed again. "Soldiers are never given the proper time to grieve. Their chain of command, less so. As much as I should tell you to buck up, get back to work, it'll pass, it really doesn't." Cullen nodded lamely at the silence. "The earning of a woman's love isn't easy. Losing it is even harder. Some would even argue that Celia's death was the linchpin of my downfall." The liquor started to warm his appendages and he took another drink. "I am truly sorry for your loss."
"I shouldn't have sent her out there."
"Don't," Loghain stated quickly. "You did what you thought was right. Don't blame yourself."
"It was my command-"
"She knew the risks."
"I didn't." His chin quivered at the situation. "I didn't think she could-" he ran a hand over his face. "Do you know how many dragons she's faced? Six. Survived six dragons." He covered his eyes with a hand, tears now pooling in his eyes. The salt stinging as he wiped them away. "I thought she- but-" he took a deep breath and leaned forward. "It's my fault."
The warden placed a hand to his shoulder and rubbed his thumb like a father. Cullen took the amulet of Anderste that hung at his throat. Wrapping the chain in his hands and held it to his lips. Begging the Maker for all of this to be another nightmare. Begging that she still be alive. For him to see her again and apologize. Properly this time. He felt himself rocking in prayers. Quoting every guiding hope that came to mind to bring her home. To bring her back. The coin biting into his hand at his grip. He took a shaking breath, sniffling into his fists. "This the part where you tell me to get back to work?"
Loghain patted him gently with a deep breath. "This is the part where I tell you about risk and reward. That commanding is never easy. And if you're not willing to risk it, never command it." He gave a quick chuckle. "Not many Fereldan women take commands eagerly from their husbands. Even if you didn't command her to kill the dragon, she would've done it anyway."
Cullen smiled at the acknowledgment. He was right. "Just to spite me." His smile widened as he remembered every time she went against him. His chin quivered again at her disobedience. How he loved and craved it. He wiped his face again from the new tears. "Thank you."
Loghain took another breath. The sound of armor was like he was looking for something. "Think there's a listing of fallen Soldiers around as well."
Cullen nodded. "I think we're having a memorial at some point. We can add your men, if you like."
Loghain shook his head. "Their names are being carried to Weishaput."
Cullen nodded again. "Thank you. Again."
"Again, I'm sorry for your loss."
His eyes turned back to the tent flap. "We lost a lot of good men. Hawke."
Loghain made a grunt, taking the bottle from Cullen and drinking. Cullen took a drink for the Champion. Surely, he wouldn't disagree to his send-off. He chuckled as he looked at the bottle. "I couldn't imagine having this conversation with him."
"Oh, I'm sure there would've been a mistimed joke that would've ended in blows." Cullen laughed for the first time in days. He looked over to see the warden smirking with his arms folded. The wardens light eyes met his. "You're going to be alright. You may not see it now, hell, you may not see it in five years, but time helps. As does whiskey. But, in a life of war, you need to find happier moments. I'm sorry you have to start that all over again."
Cullen looked away and nodded. He smirked. "Apparently, several Orlesian's want my hand in marriage."
Loghain gave a disgusted look. "Personally, I would rather have my leg chewed off by a mabari."
Cullen laughed. "Well, at that point, it's just a conversational starter."
He gave a deep laugh. "Fair enough."
They sat in silence as Cullen let his mind go numb from the drink. "It's normal to miss, right?"
"Yes."
"Is it normal to hate her?"
"That'll pass."
"You sure? Because she was" he jut his jaw and sighed. "Migraine and a half."
Loghain shrugged. "Best women are."
Cullen looked over at him, leaning back in his chair. "Do you mind if I ask how long you and Lady Celia were married?"
Loghain dropped his eyes. "Twenty-seven years. Long time to go without suffocating someone." Cullen chuckled. "She was a good woman. Spitfire with a mind of logistics." He shook his head. "Maker, I loved her."
Cullen put his head on the back rest. "I'd kill for that."
"Suffocation?"
"No," he said with a smirk. "Twenty-seven years." His smirk died. In twenty-seven years, the lyrium was supposed to take his mind.
"Do you mind if I ask? How long you were married?"
Cullen did a quick tally on his fingers. "Six, six and a half months."
"Oh." He said slightly deadpanned.
"What?"
"Nothing. You're still in that happy phase." Cullen snorted. "Or not."
"Well," he shrugged, remembering their one kiss. "I guess you could say that." He looked at the warden who was looking at the tent entrance. His arms still crossed. "Thank you. Truly."
Loghain looked at him with eyes of deep wisdom. "Can I ask a favor?" Cullen lifted the bottle to allow it. "Put on a shirt." His voice was thick with a command.
Cullen giggled at the order. "But general, it's so hot."
Loghain shook his head. "Put on a shirt." He took the bottle from Cullen.
"I suppose." Cullen pushed himself from the chair and only stumbled once to retrieve it. Flicking it to get sand and dirt off, he pulled the twill over his head, hissing at the contact of the sunburns.
Loghain stood from his chair and put a hand back on his shoulder. "It gets easier, but first, you're going to suffer. Best of luck, Commander."
Cullen nodded slowly. "Good luck, Warden."
"On a more serious note," Loghain took the bottle and placed it on the table. "I'll let you get to work. I have a few undergoing inventories that I am to take with me to Weishaput for the First Warden. My statement is made on the table there. I'd like for you to read over it and add it to your collections for historical purposes." Cullen took a deep breath, realizing the 'fatherly' conversation was over and he was needed to get back into the thick of it. "I believe your men are sealing up for the fort as we speak. Your elf mage suggested that the amount of blood magic would make the area unsuitable for any future building or use of the area. The Inquisitor is also taking Wardens that are still loyal to Corypheus or that gimp to Skyhold. There are a few in the party. The others are allowed to leave and never return." Cullen noticed a tightness in his voice when he spoke of Royoc's decision to excommunicate all the Wardens.
Cullen looked the warden over. "You disagree?"
The older man arched an annoyed brow and took a measured breath. "I understand the purpose, but the method is out of line. I stood beside Lady Samurilla atop Fort Drakon." He shook his head slowly. "Your Inquisitor is falling out of line. He will incite a war if he's not careful. You need to send a letter to your ambassador, now. If this is not worded properly," he gave a headshake to show what he knows will come. "I don't normally request insubordination, but I assure you, Fereldan will not follow suit."
"The wardens are-"
Loghain held up a hand to him to stop. "Men will always fight and die for what they believe in. It doesn't matter if Corypheus holds sway or not. The Darkspawn don't attack nobles, and your men aren't immune to the taint like we are. You will be fighting an uphill battle." He pointed to the desk quickly. "Send a letter. Discreetly. Let the Lady know what's going on so she can paint it prettier for the people. I'm sure your spymaster can tighten a few tongues that wish to speak out."
Cullen lowered his brows at the former general but nodded. Taking the advice for what it was. But knew that he knew something more. "What's going to happen?"
Loghain arched a brow at him. "I can assure you, the Inquisition has seen the last of peaceful wardens in the south. Take that for what you will. Now." The older man grunted as he crossed the tent. "I must prepare for my departure. I leave you with this. You advise the Inquisitor. I suggest you advise that he not speak, move, or act without his full council present." There was a sharpness to his movements and voice that made Cullen swallow back any questions he had. The warden gave a quick nod as he exited the tent.
XxXx
Uthreida exited the tomb, shaking and swaying out the alcohol withdrawals. Wrenching every now and then. Thankfully, traveling in the desert for as long as she has cleared her system partially. The withdrawals were less than they would be in Skyrim. Small victories where they are due. The dragon threw down the hunt for the night for her dovahlaan and set it afire.
Uthreida waited for the dragon to land before approaching. "Drem yol lok."
The dragon nodded her head to Uthreida with the same greeting. "Are you healed?"
"Mostly. But I still have questions if you'll indulge."
The dragon showed her teeth like a smile. "So inquisitive, Dovahkiin. You may ask."
Uthreida sat on the sands before the dragon. "There is one who I met that claims to be a dragon expert. I've seen male dragons in Tamriel, but the male dragons here are" she looked to the larger ones she surmised were the males, "not what they once were."
Gorranyol smirked. "I would imagine not." She nodded slowly. "They died out, some time ago. When Alduin fell, humans hunted our bravest. Our males. We females were mostly unseen as the jills were accustomed to. Our males have been made weaker because of the hunts." Uthreida nodded slowly. Pitying the great beast before her. "My drakes watch over the dovahlaan while I slumber. Teaching them what it means to be a dragon. They hunt and protect the laan when I cannot. Their Thu'um is weaker, but only by necessity so they will not rival and kill the laan. Their numbers protect the family."
Uthreida looked to the drakes that were watching her closely. "I've also noticed, variations, of dragons in this land. How has that come to pass?" The dragon tilted her head. "Wyvern, for example."
"Ah." She chuckled. "They are dragons, more akin to the older males of this land. I fear Jorositiddar may become one." She pointed her snout at a laan that was playing. "They choose a different path. Choosing to run their own course. Their hatred, pride, and desire for solitude becoming poison. Their lack to learn drives them from the Thu'um, and twists them into the wyvern."
Uthreida smirked. "Those who turn their back on the old ways become something new?"
"Precisely."
She laughed to herself, thinking of the history of Dunmer and the ordained origin stories. "Gurgut?" The dragon cocked her head again, unsure of the mortal phrase. "They look like laan but are, umm"
"Unintelligent?"
Uthreida bit her lips at the accurate but harsh understanding. "Aye."
She nodded slowly. "The orphans. The ones born without knowledge of who or what they are. Without a dragon to teach them. By-products of human hunters who kill lairs but don't break eggs. They are born without direction or guidance."
Uthreida lowered her eyes when she saw something akin to sadness fill the dragon. "I'm sorry."
The dragon looked over her children again as they played. "It is the way of the world. And a fear. When the last dragon dies, the wyvern will not teach the orphans and thus, dragons will no longer exist. And the blood of Bormahu will grow cold."
Uthreida bit her lip as she looked at the great dragon. "There is another." Gorranyol looked at her with patient eyes. "I called Odiviing from Skyrim. He could help with strengthening the blood."
Gorranyol smiled. "I have already laid my eggs. In a few years, I will slumber for a hundred years. Will he still be here?"
Uthreida looked away. "I don't know." Gorranyol hummed in acceptance and looked on. "When Odviing entered the lands, he felt a push from the vail like a barrier was set up. I believe the second vail is stronger than Mangus's when he created Nirn. Odiviing said the dragons made it. If they made it, can I fix the fade rifts or the Zii-ahraan?"
The dragon tilted her head. "You think dragons made the barrier?"
Uthreida looked at the dragon and her tone and started to second guess. "Dragons are the only ones with that kind of power."
She crossed her forelegs at Uthreida. "If Alduin's purpose is to eat the world, why would we make it harder to do that? Or even create the imbalance the barrier causes?"
Uthreida looked away awkwardly. "So, dragons didn't make the vail to protect themselves from mortals?"
"No."
"Then" she looked away in thought. "What is it? What's it for? What's its purpose? Does it have anything to do with the fade?"
She gave a nod. "The fade, as you are calling it, is a pocket dimension of Oblivion that is tied to the world. The vail is akin to what Bormahu made, but a thicker wall. It was idealized like the last Kulpa when it was crafted by the deadra so Alduin could not fulfill his destiny."
"Hang on" she held up a hand, "you mean to tell me that the fade is Lyg reincarnate?"
"In a simplified manner of speaking."
Uthreida took a deep breath. Letting the realization hit her harder than before. Her mind pausing at the idea of a passing story she only heard once. "Molag Bol created it, didn't he?"
"Merunes Dagon."
Of course. "The mortals pull magic from the fade."
"Do they?"
Uthreida paused at the dragon's tone, second-guessing her understanding again. "I think so?"
Gorranyol hummed and looked over her basin. "That would imply that all magic comes from Lyg. Would it not? And not at all from the Divines. Who needs magicka to stabilize Nirn?"
"I suppose." She said slowly, trying to figure out her logic. "Wait. The mortals claim it is the place of dreams. So Vaermina-"
The dragon smiled. "It is a place of thought. So dreams are a part of it. Similar to the dream sleeve and the mortal land." That made sense. "It is where the Keizer is from. You may know them as grabbers."
"Of the Ruddy Man?"
"Yes."
"So the vail-"
"Is a wall to prevent people from sliding into it." Uthreida lowered a brow in confusion. The dragon smirked. "People and creatures cannot go in, and the creatures within are not supposed to escape. This, barrier, requires a level of power to maintain. It diminishes the land's magicka to reinforce the wall. Stealing the power of Atherius to remain strong."
"Does it prevent the deadra from getting through?"
"Yes. Amongst other pockets of Oblivion."
"So, if it takes magicka from the land, it strips the people, the land, of their magic as well?"
"Yes."
Uthreida lowered her brows. The vail steals the magicka released from Mangus into Nirn. If it is truly a vail, it trapped the light from Mangus, and the sunlight can't reach the people. Uthreida stopped breathing. That explains the black and white understanding of mages here. Only those truly gifted can access the latent magic in the land. But the Vail is not the true pack of kings. No damage was done when Akatosh gifted Allessia the Amulet. The vail isn't part of that pact. Even then, the amulet was destroyed in the Oblivion Crisis like it's repeating here. "How was the vail made?"
"Another deadra."
A deadra? Prevented their own capabilities to access the land? "What is the story?"
The dragon tilted her head to overlook her Laan. "According to generations, there was once a mer of the land who was battling in a war with the deadra. So, he went to his patron, and asked for the power. In exchange, he would become the shizarine for that deadra. Clavius Vile accepted. With conditions."
Clavius Vile? What- why- "what were the conditions?"
"The people are made weaker. But, since the mer set it up, he had to bring it back down."
"How?"
The dragon tilted her head like a shrug. "We don't know."
"What happens when it falls?"
"Oblivion will be free to walk the land again." She gave a deep breath. "If Mangus's vail is sundered, Lyg and Nirn will no longer be foils, but will fuse. And Alduin will be able to end the Kalpa."
Uthreida clenched her jaw as she looked at the massive creature. "And the Keizer, the krass, darkspawn, the grabbers, they will meld with the land as well?"
"Yes."
Uthreida took a deep breath. That's why Corypheus wants to bring it down. To have an army of darkspawn. Wait- "Just to clarify, if the barrier is brought down, Oblivion can reenter?" The dragon gave a slow nod at her slow understanding. "But if the Mangus's vail is destroyed, separating Mundas from Arbius, then Alduin will return?"
Gorranyol smiled like a paitent mother. "Correct."
"But the barrier seperates Nirn from the Fade, or Lyg, or Oblivion, where the true" Gorranyol gave a sigh like Uthreida still wasn't understanding. "Please explain again."
"If the barrier is destroyed, Oblivion would be closer, true. But if the vail is destroyed, and Mundas and Arbis are one, then the world will stand in true darkness."
"Because Nirn will become part of Oblivion."
"Correct."
"So destroying the barrier doesn't actually do anything?"
Gorranyol chuckled at her do-or-die views. "I will admit, the land may begin to heal. but doing such a thing would require great power to achieve."
Uthreida looked over the basin again, trying to understand this land more. "The stories say that the darkspawn came from mages who entered Lyg at the behest of the whispering of dragons."
Gorranyol laughed. "You're joking?"
"No." She said slowly, shaking her head.
The dragon shook her head in shame. "Well, that explains a few things." She chuffed again and looked at Uthreida. "Dragons cannot enter nor would want to enter Lyg. It is our antithesis. We were made for this land, not that one. It would be understandable for a deadramora to take the shape of a creature that all fear as powerful to start their descent and control of the lands."
Uthreida looked away. Guilt ripped at her chest as she thought of Cullen's prayers and Blackwalls duty. "They were lied to. Why?"
"Because mortals are gullible." Uthreida tilted her head. Fair. "The kruzz seek only destruction of the land."
If the kruzz destroy, then it would make sense for Clavious Vile to want to save it. More playthings for him to tempt and torment. She looked to the low moons over her head. With the vail having as many knicks and chinks in the wall, is it really safe anymore? She looked at the dragon and wanted to ask how to fix it, but knew she didn't know. "Will it hold? With all the fade rifts, will it hold?"
She tilted her head to think. "I don't know."
Uthreida still didn't understand much of this land or its Magic's. But maybe she didn't have to. She needed the world's magic. She needed a dragon's perspective of the world. A divines.
"Gorranyol, will you show me a word?" The dragon arched a brow at her. "Maybe I can fix the tears. But, I don't know the words to do so. Will you help me?"
She tilted her head, her horns making a mockery of her actions. "You wish to mend the barrier?"
"Aye." The dragon was silent as she looked at Uthreida. "I don't know how this land works, but I don't need to. I just need to know how the divines, how dragons see it. So I can-"
"I do not think that is wise."
Uthreida stopped. Looking at the dragon as if betrayed. "Why?"
The dragon looked at the same moons and sighed. "We who soar above the land, on the winds of time," she paused as she looked at the mortal. "This barrier is not of dovah making. It is not a making of the divines. There is no dragon word that would give it justice. Even if I knew the word, I do not think gifting you with words of creation is wise."
"Why? It could help, it could mend, it could heal, it could-"
"We are destined to destroy," Gorranyol said softly to silence Uthreida. "We are meant to end time so it can begin anew." Uthreida scathed at the dragon. "Mortals stubborn fallacy to fix and continue is not new, Dovahkiin."
"You said every war was mine."
"It is."
"How is this different?"
"Because this is something even we cannot see. This is the means to create that we lack."
"You have created." She waved a hand to the dovahlaan that circled them.
"By mortal means." Gorranyol corrected. "Our laan are weaker than they were a millennia ago when the world was new. Now, you ask for power that is above your station, dragon hunter." Gorranyol growled. "This is why we do not speak to mortals. Your greed and ambition exceed even our own. Will you ask for the dov word of Chim next?" Uthreida snorted at the dragon before her. The dragon took a deep breath to soothe her own anger. Uthreida looked and noticed the males stood and were watching her closely. "Your wars will always be here. Your people will always exist. But this world will end by the maw of Alduin so it may be cleansed to begin anew. If you wish to be a dragon, you must learn to accept what is already in place by the Bormahu."
Uthreida shook her head to stand. "I slew Alduin-"
"You gave him time." Gorranyol snorted. "A mortal cannot kill a god. Even the Dovahkiin." She shook her head. "It is already in motion. The gods loved their mortals and gave them free will, will that they exert on corruption until it engulfs the land. And when it does, we dragons will cleanse the world, so that in the next Kulpa, you mortals can destroy it again. And again. For all of time. That is your destiny, mortal. To spend your short lives in war and famine until you turn on brother and sister, killing everyone around you to make the meal that much smaller for Alduin's mighty jot to consume." Uthreida clenched her jaw at the dragon, refusing to believe. "It is not your place to fix anything, Dovahkiin. It is your place to die."
"I refuse," Uthreida stated with a lifted jaw to the dragon.
She chuckled. "As usual. As is always expected." She shook her head. "Look around you. See what corruption has created. Look to your own mortals and see the desolation and lies their own ambitions have wrought. See how they turn on you. A dragon knows their place. Their power. Their form. Their thu'um. You are meant to stumble. You are meant to die." She snorted. "Do not whine to me simply because I do not give you that which you want most. The power you would have with my voice would corrupt you. As it always has. As it's doing now."
"I won't."
"Oh, mortal." She chuckled, "You will be corrupted as so many of your ancestors were. As so many of those who held the same title were. You are fallible by nature. I am not. That is why we hold the power, and you do not."Uthreida's eyes turned and saw the males approaching her slowly. Using the larger dragon to mask their movements. "This kalpa will end, mortal. Stop fighting it."
Uthreida took two deep breaths as she looked at the dragon. "I won't."
She tilted her head with a smirk. "Then you will die tired."
Uthreida shook her head. "Unlike you, hiding-"
"Waiting." the dragon said over her. "For his return. So I may fulfill my destiny."
Uthreida's eyes turned to the males that were starting to surround her. Their teeth barred and heads lowered to attack. But keeping their distance, waiting on her command. "Your males are weak."
"True." Gorranyol stated flagrantly, "but I use what I have to my advantage. As I'm sure you would as well." Gorranyol tilted her head to the tomb. "Go. Achieve your chim. Never to see to the end of time that you worked to protect against. Go, and become a god. But I'm curious, Dovahkiin, when will Amerithine take you and your greed? How long before you fall in line with the divine providence of law. I am also curious, Dovahkiin, the dragons you slew and stole souls from. If you die in the barrier, will their souls reach Bormahu, will you be reunited with the Atheris? Or will you walk the other land, forgotten, for the rest of eternity?" Gorranyol stood and turned away from her.
Uthreida paused, not considering that her death in these lands would prevent her from reaching Sovenguard again. The drakes kept their distance, hissing at her until she turned to the tomb. She donned her armor and pack. She headed east. She'll do this on her own. If her ultimate destiny is to die, she will die fighting.
AN: is it just me, or does the Ruddy Man look kinda like a Hurlock?
Let me know if any of that made any sense.