Incorruptible

by super ginger

Alduin is dead. Purpose and duty fulfilled.Uthreida, Dragon Born, Yesimir of the North, is ready to return, But Tsun's shout is redirected, and finds herself in a land that is similar yet so very different from her home. Commander Cullen is hopeful for the future of the Inquisition. Until an unknown Dragon Slayer falls under his Command that makes him question everything he knows.

18. Chapter 18

A/N: Brown chicken brown cow (yes, dad joke. Sorry.)

Owners own stuff. I am a non for profit fan and this is what I got.

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Cullen took his usual position in the main hall. Watching over it for new attacks but expecting few for the day. Royoc sat on his throne at the front of the room while speaking to Josephine in hushed tones. Across the room from him was Liliana who was watching the throne with rapt attention.

The sound of chains drew everyone's attention. All eyes of the nobles that usually flooded the halls watched as Blackwall- Thom Rainier shuffled to the front of the room. Movement shifted his eyes to the balcony above to see the inner circle watch the procession of judgment against their friend. Sera looking especially frantic at Rainier's procession.

"You're Holiness," Josephine stated loudly, but a strain in her voice of guilt, "today, I must present to you, Captain Thom Rainier. Known formally to us as Warden Blackwall." The soldiers pushed him to the lower steps of the dias. "His crimes, well" her voice wavered in strength, "you are aware of his crimes. It was no small expense to bring him here. But the decision on what to do with him is now yours." Cullen watched as the Soldiers saluted Royoc and Josephine bowed to stand with Liliana on the other side to record the judgment.

Cullen looked at Rainier and felt his nose twitch in resentment. The murderer that stands before them. His head bowed and locked in chains. A sickness filled Cullen's gut as he looked at the dark 'Warden'. His head low, looking at his boots like a disgrace. Serves him right for what he did to his men under his command.

Slight movement from across the room caught his attention as Liliana looked to the main doors. Cullen followed it to see Uthreida approach with wide eyes in her full armor. A dwarven woman at her side in Warden armor looked about the room. Uthreida's slack jaw tucked as her eyes turned determined to Royoc.

"No word of thanks?" Royoc said lazily from the throne as she approached. He hasn't noticed yet. Cullen pushed himself off the wall and went to catch her before she made a scene. He grabbed her by the arm and held her behind him before Royoc could see her.

"I don't know if I can thank you," Rainier said lowly.

Cullen moved to pull her out of sight and she resisted. "Don't." He whispered lowly and pulled her to the rear wall. "I know he's your friend, but don't."

"I-"

He shushed her quickly as Rainier backhanded the efforts of the Inquisition. She took a deep breath to shout and he winced at her next word. "He murdered children." He hushed quickly and quietly. He met her eyes as the look of battle shifted to distrust, then disbelief. She looked at the back of Rainier with a confused look. She shook her head to fight the crimes. Cullen pulled a scroll from his pouch and passed it to her. Quickly. She read over the report.

"You could've left me there." Rainier berated. "I accepted my punishment. I was ready for all this to end. What becomes of me now?"

Cullen held his breath as he kept Uthreida from Royoc's gaze and Uthreida from attacking him.

"Captain Thom Rainier. You have been charged with treason and murder of Lord Callier, his family, and his retainers. And when the truth came to light, you ran. Leaving your men to cover up your actions while you took the name of Warden Constable Gordon Blackwall."

"What?" The dwarven woman next to him whispered in disbelief.

"As a Warden, I understand that you recruited six souls into the Grey Wardens. Saved those who had fallen on hardened times. And even offered hope where none existed before. Within thirty seconds of meeting me, you shielded me from an unseen arrow. You have sworn yourself to our cause. You have shed blood for the Inquisition. You reminded the Wardens at Adamant what their duties truly are. I have never met a man more devout to their duties than the man that stands before me now. However," Royoc took a deep breath as he looked over Rainier, "you impersonated a Warden, which in most courts is grounds for death. You divulged information to the Inquisition that is now brought into question of its reliability and accuracy, which also questions the legality of such information presented. It is with a heavy heart that I must pass this judgment. Thom Rainier,"

"Don't" Uthreida whispered with a shaking breath.

"There is no man I would prefer to stand next to me in battle as we move to take down Corypheus. Knowing what we have done for your security, your intel, and your life, you are in the Inquisitions debt. We benefit from the appearance of having a Warden at our side. And you will be what the Inquisition requires. Thus, you will remain Blackwall."

"Bullocks." The Warden grunted.

"You will speak nothing of Rainier, nor will we."

Rainier shook his head at the Inquisitor. "So I am to live the lie until you release me from it."

Royoc took another heavy breath. "This is the lie you have created." His voice even as he spoke.

Rainier dipped his head, his shoulders sagging a little more and Cullen wanted to make his own disgusted comment. "I have my orders, Inquisitor." Blackwall spat. "With your permission, by your leave." The liar seethed.

Royoc arched a brow, waving a hand to let him go.

Rainier turned to the guards who produced a key to open his shackles. Cullen sighed at the man and looked to Royoc who met his eyes. Royocs small smirk pulled at his lips in satisfaction. Cullen arched a brow at his fearless leader and stepped aside for him to see Uthreida. Royocs smirk died on his lips as he took in the black armor and red hair of the dragon slayer. Cullen didn't have to look to know she was ready for a fight.

Cullen looked over to see Rainier's cornflower blue eyes take in Uthreida as well. The Warden gave a slow head shake that was directed at the woman he was hiding. Rainier rubbed his wrists as he made his exit from the main hall.

"Dragon Slayer," Royoc said with a smile as he stood from the throne. He held his arms wide as he approached slowly. The entire throne room turned to her with gasps of excitement and relief. "The Maker has truly smiled upon us for your presence is as welcomed as a sun's warmth in winter."

Cullen moved and hissed under his breath, "Don't make a scene."

"I leave you alone for two months and everything goes to Oblivion in a basket." She hissed back. She plastered on a fake smile as she approached Royoc. "Inquisitor." Her tone held a maliciousness that thankfully didn't carry.

Royoc smirked at her. "We are beyond relieved to see you still alive. You must tell us, how did you survive the dragon at Adamant?"

Uthreida stood silently. Her hands going to the gorget at her throat as her face didn't reveal any emotion as she looked at the man.

Royocs brows raised, waiting on a response that she didn't give. "Reports indicate that you somehow made it to the Hissing Wastes. By riding the dragon. To safety? In your absconce from the battle?"

His occasional pauses and emphasis in a few words were meant to cut but Uthreida didn't move at his accusation. She kept a neutral stance and mask for the man.

Royoc smirked. "It all sounds rather glorious, I'll admit. We are truly enchanted by your great presence, Lady Slayer." Uthreida arched an unimpressed brow but remained silent. "I'm sure the men will find you wanting as you have returned back to us. Thankful of your contract." Her expression didn't change as she looked like she was waiting for him to finish. Cullen tried to hide his smirk as Royoc twitched a sneer at her lack of responses. "Forgive me," he said with another fake smile, "but my schedule is quite full. Perhaps you can regal me with your story at another time." She didn't even bother to give a fake smile at the man. One he met with a more condescending smile. He gave a quick bow and turned to head to his quarters.

Cullen turned slowly to her and leaned in slightly. "I told you not to make a scene." She shot him an annoyed look.

A clearing throat made both of them turn to see the dwarven Warden looking at them. "Warden Micha, may I introduce you to Commander Cullen Rutherford. Commander, this is Warden Micha. She saved me in Orlais."

The woman gave an excited intake of air. "This is your husband?" She asked Uthreida who nodded. "Well, isn't he a cutie?" The Warden slapped Uthreida playfully with a giggle.

Cullen shot Uthreida a look and bowed slightly. "Thank you, Warden, for keeping the Slayer-"

The warden reached up and pinched both of his cheeks. "Wook at dis fase." She said in a baby tone. "Where's my money." She said in the same tone. Cullen lowered his brows at her juxtaposed actions and words and look to Uthreida with concern. "Where's my money?" She stated more demanding. All playfulness was gone. Cullen tried to pull back but she held him tighter. "Where?"

"Where's her money, Cullen?" Uthreida added with a smile.

Cullen ripped her hands from his face and stood taller, looking at his wife in a rage. "I don't know which of you is the worse influence, but stop."

"Where's my money?"

"Where's her money?"

"Stop it," Cullen demanded over both of them.

Uthreida gave a chuckle at his misfortune. "Lady Josephine." Cullen turned to see Josephine approach the group with a wide smile.

"Uthreida," Josephine said with a hand over her heart. "It is so good to see you. I am elated that you are alive. Truly. I prayed for your return and I am so glad you-"the ambassador sighed as if her words weren't enough with tears ready in her eyes.

"Antiva City?" Micha asked skeptically.

Josephine looked at the dwarf with a charismatic smile. "Si." And quickly said something else in Antivan that the dwarf responded. Also in Antivan.

Cullen arched a brow at the Warden dwarf but looked to Uthreida to confirm. "Lady Josephine. This is my dear friend, Micha. I don't suppose we have a room available for her?"

Josephine paused to think but smiled politely. "I'm sure we can find a bed in the barracks-"

"No." Uthreida shook her head. "A true room of her own. Of all the time we've spent together, I'm sure she would prefer to be without my company, or anyone's, for a night."

Cullen noticed the dwarf shot her an annoyed look but waived it off.

Josephine nodded politely and smiled. "Let me see what we can find."

"Also," Uthreida said with a pained and embarrassed smile, "I have also promised her payment for one dragon in exchange for saving my life. Will you see to it?"

"Of course," Josephine stated quickly. "Sigueme, por favor." She said kindly to the dwarf.

Micha looked at Uthreida with a skeptical look who only smiled. "She'll take care of you." The dwarf nodded and followed Josephine.

Cullen heard the two speaking in Antivan as they walked to Josephine's office. He also noticed the eyes that were on them and Uthreida's look of patience. He released a held breath as a warmth filled his stomach. "Follow me." He stepped off without recognizing if she was following or not. He stepped out into the courtyard and turned when he heard steps behind him. He led her to his office and shut the door behind her.

"If you're going to yell at me just-"

Cullen moved swiftly and held her in his arms. Hugging her tightly and taking a deep breath. Thanking the Maker she survived. That she was here now. That he didn't have to worry any longer. She survived. She's here. If his heart or smile grew anymore in happiness, he might explode. He picked her up, armor and all, and held her to his chest. Burying his face in her neck. He felt himself spinning, her deadweight swinging with him in his relief. She held on tightly as if afraid he would drop her.

He released her and took a step back. Clearing his throat. Realizing that it may be inappropriate given…whatever this was. He turned to his desk. "I had received some reports of-"

Arms encircled him. Her black gloves clutching at the fur on his chest. Her elongated pauldrons forcing his arms out in front of him. He chuckled and tried to see behind him to see red hair, her face hiding in the fur at his back. "Uthreida." He chided, but her arms tightened. He could swear her hands shook as she held him. "Utha?" His voice held concern. He placed a hand over hers. "You alright?" He heard a sniffle and realized she was crying. "What's wrong?" He tried to turn to see her but she held her grip and stance, preventing him from seeing her like this. He sighed and squeezed her hand. He smiled in her silence as a new wave of relief filled him. "I missed you too." But she didn't chuckle or react to his comment. She rubbed her face in his furs as she took a shaking breath.

She released him and stood back slowly. Her face set to show nothing as she looked at him. Cullen lowered his brows at her actions. "Well?" She asked in a low tone.

He looked at his desk then back at her. "You alright?"

"What did you want to talk about?"

He turned to face her. He held his arms wide to indicate what that was about. But she just blinked. Her expressionless face showing professionalism he wasn't expecting. "Right." He said slowly, wondering what was going on. He moved to his desk and opened the drawer of reports that tethered him to sanity for the last month in her absence. "I received a few reports of your travels. I would like to go over them to create a timetable of your endeavors without a handler." She tilted her head, a question in her expression. "Explain what happened."

"I don't want to talk about it.

He scrunched his face at her. "Uthreida. You're aware that you've been out of our hands for thirty-plus days. If you had been taken by Vinitori forces or Red Templars, you could be a threat. If you refuse to talk about it, I can't clear you for the field. If you can't go into the field, you're left here with their influence. And if you're left here, with your talents, the next stop is the executioner's block. Utha," he rounded his desk to stand before her. "You have to tell me." He bent lower to catch her eyes. "Utha, please." She met his eyes but looked away. "What happened?"

She took a breath and stepped back. "At Adamant, I battled the dragon. I rode it as it flew off."

Anxiety crept into the back of his throat each time he thought of it. "I know. And please, for the love of the Maker, stop doing that." She smiled at his comment and he took a breath. "And then?"

"If flew for a bit then landed. Throwing me from it. We battled a few words. Another dragon scared it off."

"The other dragon you didn't kill."

She gave an annoyed breath given his tone. "Aye. After speaking to the local hunters, I learned I was in the Hissing Wastes. The area was crawling with Vinitori and Red Templars. They have been cut down. I had learned from one that they were there to gather shards and runes from the area. For what and to do what, I can't answer. But without Inquisition assets, there was only so much I could do. There are still rifts there that need to be closed. I was given vague instructions that Skyhold was east. So, I started walking."

Cullen licked his lips as he picked up a second report. "I have a report from forty days ago," he said lifting the report from the stack, "that says you saved an elven family from a small chevalier team. You killed three in the forest?"

"Aye." She said darkly. "They were about to kill the family. I stumbled on a woman being rapped. Her dead husband's body by her as the other two held her little girls back. I killed them." She leveled her chin at him and didn't blink. "I drew on the two holding the girls and lured the third into the forest where I chopped off his hands, cut out his tongue, and poisoned him. Slowly. Leaving him to rot." She took a breath and nodded to his desk. "I transported her and her family to the Inquisition post. I believe I sent her report along with it." Cullen looked at the sealed statement and nodded. "I gave her a handful of gold and told her to run."

Cullen looked over the reports. "Then you reported to Rosiers, correct?"

"Aye."

"And then ended up in Mantillon within a few days?"

"Aye. I took a boat across the lake."

"According to Ser Alderic, something happened in Levay?"

Her jaw clenched as she looked away again. She began to pace and Cullen saw the fear in her eyes as she looked at the floor. "I came across a horde of darkspawn. They found me. I" she bit back a breath and steeled herself. "They followed. I cut down what I could but, they were too much. And it seemed like they didn't want to kill me." She glared at him, the fear in her eyes as she clenched her jaw. "I'll let you fill in the blanks." Her breath was shaking as she turned from him, pacing his office again. Cullen could only drop his jaw as he looked at her form. "I ran into some Grey Wardens. Micha. One of her team had been deep in the roads before." With her back turned, she held her arms. Breathing through it. "Do you know what they do to women?" She asked over her shoulder. "Those things hunted me. For days." She shook her head slowly. "Alphas. Hurlock Alphas." She shook her head to get the image out. "They helped me. Micha told me what the Inquisition did. Kicking them out of southern Thedas. Has Royoc lost his mind?" She gave a sigh and stood away from him. "No matter what they did, they have my respect."

Cullen dropped his eyes. She was hunted. And he could guess what was to happen if she was captured. "Are you alright?"

She threw her head back in a humorless laugh. "Am I alright?" She shook her head, still laughing at his joke. She looked at him and her fear was replaced with rage. "I would rather be surrounded by cannibalistic Falmer, than with the darkspawn." She swallowed something and turned away. "I would rather be back in Apocrypha than with them."

Cullen found himself stepping towards her, her shaking breath, but stopped. Not knowing how to comfort her like this. Instead, he cleared his throat and took a step back. "You then met with Sutherland Company in Montsimaer?"

"Aye." She said quickly, breathing through her trauma.

"Then met Ser Alderic in Cesar Lancre?"

"Aye."

"You were then transported to Empris du Lion to deal with the dragons."

She paused as if in thought of her tone there. "Aye."

"Bull confirms you killed the dragons. Cassandra showed some concerns for your well-being." She gave an annoyed grunt. "She said that the red lyrium made you sick."

"Aye."

Cullen pulled the final report from his desk. "The final report I received this morning from five days ago. Your convoy was under siege from Templars bandits that you convinced to join us."

She gave a laugh at the memory. "Aye."

"What happened?" He asked slowly and suspiciously.

She took a breath and stepped towards him. "Templars have been ransacking your supply lines for lyrium and goods, not mercenaries and bandits. I could see their lust for the vials. I followed them to their encampment. I was able to separate the leader. He called the men to arms and I killed him. And his second kept up the fight. With the third in charge came for me, I gave her a choice. Fight for the Inquisition, or I'll kill the rest of them, while she watched. Unable to stop it. She and the four other Templars graciously accepted."

He took a breath and leaned back, willing to overlook how she would enforce such a threat. "They turned their back on the Order-"

"So did you."

"I didn't resort to theft."

"People resort to what they have to to survive." She looked him over. "People have to adapt. And it's amazing how honor is usually the first thing to go." She took a breath, still holding herself from her memories. "They wanted to. To join. But thought themselves unworthy given what they had to do."

Cullen looked away. Knowing she was right. But he smirked as he looked at the dates. It all seemed to line up with his reports. He looked her over slowly. "I also did quite enjoy your letters as well."

She smirked. "Aye?"

He smiled as he lifted one. "To my darling detested." He shot her an annoyed look that she smiled at. "Not to mention the letters of decipherment."

She laughed again. "Ahh, those."

"I asked Sky Watcher to translate. But-"

"You what?"

Cullen looked at her quick and low tone. He decided to take a gamble. "Yes."

She threw her hands up in exasperation. "You weren't supposed to read them, Cullen."

Cullen had to squint his eyes closed to understand her logic. "You sent me letters that I wasn't supposed to read?"

"Aye." She stated as if it was an everyday occurrence.

Cullen blinked slowly. "What?" She waved a dismissive hand at him. "Why-" he grunted at her. "Right. Look, Sky-Watcher had a look and-"

"Oh, please tell me he blushed."

Cullen looked at her with wide eyes, unsure of where she was going with this. He couldn't read them. "Yes, yes he did. It was adorable." He picked up one of hers and handed it to her. "Especially on this bit here." He pointed to a random line. "He refused to read it. Do you mind?" He smiled down at her, hoping she wouldn't see through the lie.

She looked him over slowly as if to gauge his lie. Don't laugh. She sighed, "Fine." She ripped the letter from his hand. She smiled as she looked at the page. Her own blush returning. "Dearest Cullen," her voice breathless and dramatic, "how I long to be with you and enraptured in another round of fisticuffs, but alas," she smiled as she pulled the paper from her eyes. Cullen waived for her to continue. "He should've read you the rest." Cullen tapped a finger on his pauldron to think of a lie quickly but all he could do was smile at her. "Liar." She licked her lips and read the letter again. "I forgot I sent this one to you." Her smile fading as she read her own writing. She took a deep breath with a straight face.

"What's it about?"

She blinked and set the page ablaze. Both watched as it turned to ash in her hand. "Fear." She said softly.

Seeing her fear earlier filled him with dread. "Uthreida, it's alright to be afraid of Darkspawn. Many people are."

"It's not" she ran a hand to her throat. "There's, a taste, a sickness, a sound, I" she popped her jaw as if to rid it. She took another breath to calm herself.

Cullen crossed the room, no longer caring of what this was. He touched her chin to look at him. "You're safe here."

"I know." She said with averted eyes. She held her arms tighter against herself for a moment.

"Come here." Cullen held his arms out to her and enveloped her again. She pushed and took a step back, her eyes on their feet. He didn't want it. The fear and sadness that filled her now. He stepped again and held her. "It's alright." He said softly into her hair. He arms around her shoulders and not stopping him. "You're back." He gently kissed her temple and held her tighter. "You're back." He rested his chin on her forehead and breathed. She was back. He could breathe again. He pulled back slightly, allowing his nose to touch hers as he tilted his head. His eyes slowly closing. Asking her to-

She turned away from him. Sealing her eyes and lips from him. Her jaw clenched. Her jaw quivered as she looked away. "Utha?" His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Is my room still available?" She asked without looking at him.

He wanted her to mean his quarters, but something in her tone didn't set. He released her at her dismissal and stepped back. He cleared his throat, rubbing his neck in stress. "yes and no."

"No?"

"We thought you died. So they cleared your quarters, and um," his eyes lifted to his loft for her to make the connection.

She looked away, taking another step back. "But my room is still available?"

"Yes, but your belongings are-" he looked at his loft again with a sigh.

She gave a slow nod to his actions. "It's been a long trip." She said lowly.

"It sounds like it." He said lamely, feeling her pull away from him and the rejection in her posture.

"I'd like to bathe and recover. Can you have someone put my belongings back?"

"Of course." He nodded quickly, taking a step back and feeling like he had been punched in the gut.

"Ragnar, is he-"

"He's in the stables." Cullen offered a smile that he could feel was fake.

She nodded again with a deeper breath. "I was worried. About him."

The pause in her words made him want it to mean more. "We collected him after the battle."

She held her arm and looked away. "Thank you for looking after him." Cullen nodded, taking another step away from her as she held herself from him. "Conant? How's-how's his mission going?"

"Good. He and his team have secured trade with about five tribes. Uh, casualties from the Avvar have significantly dropped as well as an increase in information between movements across nations. On land-based traffic. At least."

She nodded but kept her eyes averted. "How are you?" He met her eyes with a lowered brow. She tilted her head slightly to get him to talk.

Aside from being a grieving husband, to an anxious ball of stress, to a relieved lover, to a dejected boy, "if you're referring to my withdrawals, they're getting better."

"Good." Awkward silent seconds ticked and he realized the last time they were alone in his office was when he rejected her. "Your family?"

"Alive."

"Good."

Cullen looked at her from a lowered head and breathed. Smelling her scent and sweat made him clench his jaw. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came to mind of what he wanted to say in his heart.

"Blackwall, didn't, did he?" She asked with a broken voice.

Cullen looked away. "He gave a full confession."

She clenched her jaw and dropped her eyes. Taking deep breaths to wrap her head around everything that had changed since she left. "Is there, ah, a thing else I should know?"

"Nothing at present." He cleared this throat softly to show her how awkward this was for him. To be so close and feel so far.

She didn't move as her eyes stayed adverted. "Is that all, Commander?"

He looked down to see if the knife that entered his heart was real. "Liliana will want to speak to you as well, I'm sure." He crossed his arms to hide his pain.

She saluted and exited the north door from his office. Cullen sighed as the door closed. She was back. Any relief that came with the thought was dissipated at her standoff nature today. She was back, but mentally, was still in the field. She'll talk to him, right?

Probably not. She refuses to seem as weak and won't speak of it. How can he bring her back?

Xxxx

Uthreida took a deep breath as she looked at the stables. Each hand holding a tankard and forced courage into her heart. She smiled as she entered. Blackwall was shoveling hay from a stall and didn't notice her approach. "Thirsty work there."

He looked over his shoulder to see her smiling at him. Holding two tankers in the night. He gave a polite smile. "I don't mind." He returned to his work without looking.

Uthreida gave a nod as she entered. Her eyes finding Ragnar immediately. She set the tankards down and rubbed his nose. "I was worried for you." Ragnar's white-nose blew her hand as he leaned into the scratches. Uthreida smiled as the horse recognized her. "Causing trouble for Master Dennett?"

"Depressed," Blackwall said from his stall. Uthreida looked over to see him hiding his face. "He's ah," he gave a sigh. He stood to his natural height and tapped the tines of the fork against the packed earth. "We all were."

Uthreida looked at him as she rubbed the blood-bay gelding's neck. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I-"

"It's alright." Blackwall exited the stall and set the pitchfork against the beam. "We um." He kept his back to her as he spoke. His shoulders hunched. "We thought you died. I didn't know until today."

Guilt ripped at her stomach as Ragnar bounced his head as he agreed. "I didn't mean to worry you. I" she clenched her jaw as she stepped towards the man. "I acted without thinking. Again." She chuckled but he stepped away. "I went to the tavern and Sera bounded from the second floor and hugged me. For a wee lass, she's got quite the grip." She laughed again but he didn't move. Keeping his back to her. "She misses you." He stayed silent. "I surmised as she talked my ear off. She told me of the adventures you had. Of Du Lion. And the Forbidden Oasis. And the desert. The Fade."

He pushed himself off the beam and turned to look at her. "You don't have to do this." His voice was heavy with regret that his eyes reflected.

Uthreida smiled kindly. "Do what?"

"This" he waved a hand between them. "I never-I" he looked away. "You don't have to pretend to be nice."

Uthreida looked at the dejected man, his sins. She took the tankard and stepped towards him. "I'm not pretending." She offered him the cup. "Nor am I nice." She smirked at the joke.

He met her eyes for a second but dropped them quickly. Taking the cup and took two loud gulps. Some of the ale falling into his beard. He looked into the cup and swirled the liquid. "I am…glad you're alive."

"As am I. For you. I'm glad you're" she sighed as she messed it up.

He allowed a smile into his tankard. "We thought you fell under some rubble. Cul-ah, the Commander spent four days trying to find you."

"Oh aye. Dorian gave me quite the earful." She chuckled at his version of the story.

He looked at her again and she almost missed it. "I am glad you're alive." Uthreida sighed as she looked at him. Happy that he had some reason to live. "You don't have to do this."

She sighed. "Blackw-Thom, I will-"

"I mean, you don't. I'm fine. You don't have to check on me."

"I want to."

"Why? I assume the Commander told you what I did. Who I was. You were there. You know-"

Uthreida picked up her tankard and held a hand to the inner barn near his fire. When he didn't move, she walked to it. Noticing the progress he had made on his toys. She smiled at the concept. He made toys for the children he killed.

She took a seat and waited for him to approach and sit next to her as she drank.

With a grunt, he sat in the chair, looking into the fire with her.

"There once was a general. Back home." She said softly. "During the war, he slaughtered all for his king. Men, women, children, horses. His name translates into cruel ambitious overlord. He killed without recourse. Indiscriminately. One day, Kyne came to him. The Hawke." She smiled, hoping he would connect the plate he carved for her and the goddess. "Told him to help his enemy to end the war. And he did. He taught them how to use the power his King had. And we were able to beat them back." She looked at Blackwall to see if he was following. "After the war, he surrendered the life of death and succumbed to the gods. Devoting his life to peace, and understanding. He became a wise, religious leader who taught peace and tolerance. I met him, several times before I truly knew his history. He was kind to me, even as I stumbled on my path. I consider him a friend." She took a deep breath and tried to push the image of Delphine from her mind. "One day, the Blades told me of his history. Told me, that to prove myself to their order, I needed to kill him. To show the world what I could do. So I climbed the mountain. When he asked why I was there, I could see the weariness in his eyes. Like he knew it was inevitable." She blinked, seeing Paarthurnax's eyes and tired voice. He lowered his head as he offered her his throat. "I chose mercy. I chose wisdom. I chose restraint. When I told the Blades what happened, they abandoned me. Claiming I wasn't a true hunter. That I was a puppet of the Grey Beards. That I should be ashamed because I failed the Empire." She chuckled at the concept of how little Delphine actually knew of her shame. Uthreida cleared her throat when she remembered who she was speaking to. "I do not hate you for who you were. But I am proud of who you've become." She looked at him to see his eyes adverted into his tankard. "I'm not normally a good judge of character, but I know in my bones, you are a good man." He scoffed quietly. "Who made a mistake. We, mortals, are supposed to stumble. We cannot become great without falling down a few times. It is only the ones, covered in dirt, know compassion." She smirked into her tankard. "I could make the argument that stumbling is why Lorkan created Nirn. The tower. All of it." She remembered her lessons from Paarthurnax as she took a drink. "Those that are born good cannot become better. They cannot become more because they are already perfect. And thus, cannot change. But those who must climb the tower of chim must change. To become better than they were." She looked over at him to see if he was listening or making a silent argument in his head. "Do you understand?"

He shook his head softly. "Not a word." She laughed at his smile. "The Maker has a much different philosophy."

"Oh, aye. To be fearful of the darkness in one's heart. For the light shall blind you in his embrace. But setting such a high standard of perfection does nothing to help people. Rather, it sets them aside. Discourages them to change. According to Solas, the Fade is perfect because it is unchanging."

Blackwall snorted. "I would heavily disagree."

She looked at his hands as they grabbed the tankard. A pain, darkness at his witness of the pocket realm. She cleared her throat to change the subject. "I said all of that to offer hope. I've thought about it, and realized you are in a unique position."

"You think so, do you?"

She smiled at his bored tone. "There is a process back home called mantling. Do you know it?"

He arched a skeptical brow. "You mean like fur on one's shoulders?"

She laughed at his interpretation but realized that carrying the skin of the dead on one's shoulders made sense. "I think that is the entomology, but no. Mantling is the process of becoming someone else. Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. To the point where even the universe cannot tell the two individuals apart. Normally, it is a mortal trying to mantel a god. But you, you are unique." She met his eyes and smiled. "Because of the Inquisitor's decree," she rolled her eyes at the last word, "you are in a position to mantle the real Blackwall. To become him to the point where the gods cannot tell the difference. To blur where you end and he begins."

He looked away with a scowl. "To live a lie."

"No." She placed a hand over his that was gripping the tankard tightly. "To live as he would. You do not have to take his name. Gods, Talos didn't. But you take on his spirit. His memory. And you wear it, like a mantle." She removed her hand and sat up straighter. "The goal isn't to lie to people, or yourself, but to put yourself to a higher standard. Into a different way of thinking. Whose thoughts and actions reflect the true Blackwall. To become him, spiritually."

He arched a brow at the comment but laughed. "The holy religion of Blackwall."

She smiled at his conclusion. "This is why it is normally done with gods. But, essentially yes." She took a drink and looked into the fire. "You would have to sacrifice who you are to become him. But if that is the goal, no one can stop you."

He took a drink of his tankard and gazed into the fire with a smirk. "When we got back, I spoke to Commander Kadar. He knew I was a fraud. He knew Gordon. Personally. Was there when he got his wings. And he didn't care. He didn't care that I stole his name. He didn't care to know who I was. But, thanked me, for helping the Wardens where he couldn't." He looked at Uthreida with a smirk. "He ah, Commanded, that after Corypheus is defeated, I was to take on the blue. Officially. And put the whole business to rest." He looked at her and smirked. "I like the idea. Truly. But," he shook his head, "at some point," he sighed into the fire. "I wanted to end the lie."

She nodded slowly, averting her eyes like him. "There is a comfort in lies, I won't deny. But the truth is also highly subjective depending on the lens and stance." She leaned back in her chair and drank. "I did not come here tonight to tell you that you are wrong, or that you deserve less. Rather, that I understand what you tried to do. And I am made all the more proud of the choices you have made."

"Which one? Butchering families? Lying to my men? Lying to the Inquisition?"

She looked at him with mourning. "You are not the only creature capable of lying and hiding from those lies." He looked at her with skepticism. "I also have made choices that I try to put behind me. Consequences of those actions hunt me still."

"I doubt-"

"I was a thief and assassin for many years." She looked at him with indifference to gauge his reaction. His wide eyes and slight shifting showed he was uncomfortable, but his lack of running away showed he also understood. "Not that I was any good." She said as a comical aside. "Does that change your perception of me? Am I still honorable in your eyes?"

He lowered his eyes and looked away. Swallowing back something as his beard moved as if clenching his jaw. "No."

"I'm not honorable?" She asked jokingly.

"It changes nothing." He clarified with a smile.

"I'm glad." She leaned forward and looked at him. "If I may ask, is that why you pushed me away?" She asked in a high-pitched voice and smiled.

He smiled at her playfulness but it never reached his eyes. "Yes." He nodded slowly but met her eyes.

"And now?"

"I was a fool." Something warmed her as he searched her eyes. A reaching of his soul. His eyes which once reminded her of sapphires now reminded her of lyrium. But he blinked and pulled away. Clearing his throat. "I'm surprised the Commander didn't tell you to keep your distance."

"You know, it never came up." She leaned back with a smirk. "Even if he did, as the Commander, I suppose I am required to follow his orders. But as his wife, I'm allowed to say no." He chuckled at her smile. "You are a good man, and my friend, thus, I will defend you. So if any of them" she jutted her chin to the keep, "want to say otherwise, chances are, they are just as ashamed of their own history of sins. But those who embrace you now, know that compassion and mercy are what's important in life." He looked away again at her soft tone. "For all of the Inquisitor's flowery words, I would be honored to stand beside you in battle." His trying to fight a smile made her lean in closer. "Want to hunt a dragon?"

He laughed and wiped a hand across his beard. "I'm, good."

"Oh, come on." He laughed again with a shake of his head. "Finish your pint, I got to give it back to Cabbott."

He threw the tankard back in three loud gulps and passed it. Wiping an arm across his beard. She took the cup and stood slowly. "Thank you." He said softly.

She looked at him as he stood to see her off. She opened her mouth to make another joke but paused. "What should I call you now?"

He looked away. Looking over the fort with an inward perspective behind his eyes. He smirked and met her gaze. "Blackwall." A strength to his voice she hadn't heard in a while.

She smiled at his choice and nodded. "Until next time, Blackwall. May the gods be kind. "She nodded as she made her exit. She delivered the tankard as promised and made her way up to her quarters. Settling in for the night, she was swathed by Vaermina.

She saw the inside of The Bannard Mare. The citizens of Whiterun were drinking, laughing, and dancing to the lute. Each clapping in the dance to the music that she couldn't make out. Farkas came behind her and pushed her to the music. Filling her with a warmth of home as they spun. Her eyes falling to the room and seeing Elisif clapping with a smile. Farkas laughing at her dance. Serana drinking the other Companions under the table. Sera and Kerllie laughing at a story. She smiled as Blackwall and Frea engaged in an arm-wrestling match while Bull and Rayya cheered for their respective friend. Cassandra grunted with Teldryn at the display. Brynjolf smiling at Micha who just lost a game of Hnefatafl. Farkas gave her a spin and she looked up to see Cullen smiling at their dance. The room started to get hotter in her fevereant dancing to music she couldn't make out. The fire on the walls reached up to the ceiling and she stopped. The people, once delighted were strewn over tables and the floors. Doran sat in his chair, his white robes now covered in blood from his throat as his horn of mead stained his lap. She looked down to see she was standing in a puddle of blood. Fear reached up into her throat as she smelled the decay and corruption of darkspawn around her.

She was pulled to turn to see Miraaks mask holding her. The slight tilt of his head making his golden mask glow in the orange fires around her. He snapped and the fires turned green. She pulled back but he held her fast. He said something but she couldn't hear. Only feeling the dread of his words. She reared back to punch him only to feebly knock his mask off. He turned to look at her and she gasped.

It was her. Her face wearing his robes. She looked for her weapons only to see Varric and Hawke and Ciceros bodies. Uthreida tried to push at Mirrak's robes only for it to smile villainously at her. A hand went to her throat and she couldn't breathe as her reflection took a deep breath for her Thu'um. Uthreida shut her eyes at the impending attack as the white wolf sat silently, watching.

Xx

Uthreida took a deep breath and smiled at her opponent in the morning rings. Blackwall had doubled over in the rings to catch his breath. "Makers balls, Slayer." He panted.

Uthreida chuckled at him. She noticed that the other inner circle and soldiers were keeping their distance from him in the rings leaving him without a partner. Uthreida looked over her shoulder at Micha who was standing outside the ring, waiting on Uthreida to tap in as they ganged up on the man. Micha leaned against the rope pole with an evil smirk. Uthreida could tell she resented the man but was persuaded to see Uthreidas side given their own history. "You, need a drink, old man?" Uthreida chided.

Blackwall stood, rolling his shoulders, and winced in pain. "I'll take it."

Uthreida stowed her training weapons and walked to Micha. "He's a good warrior," Micha said as Uthreida took a drink. Her dark eyes were on the man. "Can certainly take a beating."

Uthreida dropped the water skin and looked over at him as he drank in his own corner and rubbing his thigh from her attack. "He's supposed to take the blue after Corypheus. He could use some one-on-one training to learn the job. Properly, this time."

Micha looked him over with a calculating eye. But nodded. "What I wouldn't give for a heads up before I joined. Or, rather, conscripted."

Uthreida smirked at the dwarf and turned to see Blackwall, but shining armor and furs caught her attention that was marching toward her with a scowl.

"He don't look too happy," Micha commented. "So, weird question. Why do you two sleep separately? Is that like a birth control thing or?"

Uthreida sighed, seeing her husband grow closer with fists at his sides. "It's an alliance thing."

"Ah yes. The problems of straight humans and politics. Feel free to spare me the details." Cullen crossed the yard and she saw the fire in his eyes as he approached. His eyes glancing to Blackwall. "Ready?" Micha called to Blackwall. He looked over to see Cullen but dropped his eyes. Micha ducked under the ropes and quickly made her way to Blackwall and left Uthreida alone. With him.

She registered his rolling agitation as his golden eyes shone with restrained aggression. She leaned against the pole and smirked. "Aye?"

He took a step closer and lowered his voice. "Stay away from him."

Uthreida looked at Blackwall who had his back turned to her as he took a stance against Micha. "Why?"

"Because-"

"Because?"

"He lied to all of us." He seethed.

Uthreida arched a brow and crossed her arms at him. "No."

"No?" He spat. "I'm warning-"

"And I'm telling you. No." She canted a hip at him. "First of all, I'm a grown woman who will speak to, do, and say whatever I damn well please without asking for the permission of my husband."

"He-"

"Second, don't you dare lump him in with your fears just because all you see is the remaking of Meredith." Cullen dropped his jaw at her and she raised her chin to dare him to lie. He snapped his jaw shut with a scowl. She arched a brow and dared him to correct her. "Third, no one is training with him and if I had to guess, you had something to do with that."

"I never-"

"Uh huh." she throated dismissively.

Cullen took a deep breath as he glared at her. "Don't think I won't pop you in the mouth for speaking out of turn."

"Don't think I won't throw you across this courtyard in front of all of your men." Cullen jutted his jaw at her and raised his chin. "You've seen what I can do, Cullen. Don't be a fool."

He lowered his head but his eyes were on hers. He took a deep breath to calm himself with closed eyes as if he was counting in his head. "Follow." Uthreida arched a brow at the order. "Well?"

"I'm waiting on a please."

The sound of clashing metal and wood distracted her for a second at the dueling Wardens but saw Cullen take two more deep breaths. "I have a surprise." He said through clenched teeth.

She looked him over with reserve given his actions and words. "What is it?"

"A surprise." His tone was still low in anger. Her look didn't change as she waited for him to move. His glare was deep and she wanted to back down for his sake, but lacked the courage to submit.

A smile slowly pulled at the corners of his lips until he had to look down and away from her. The sun catching the golden cap over his tooth below his scar. A small scoff escaping his throat. His shoulders dropped and he shook his head with a deeper breath of resignment. He looked at Blackwall with an inverted gaze as the dark Warden held his shield to the hammer of the dwarf and grunted at the impact. Cullen looked back at her with a nod. "Maybe you're right." He said softer. "Still, it sets a bad precedence for you-"

"Royoc allowed him to stay. He's still my friend. If anything" Uthreida's eyes fell back to the former warden. "It helps paint an understanding."

Cullen arched a brow but nodded. "I do have a surprise though. If you care to see it."

"What is it?" She asked with an eager smile.

He met her smile with his own. "It just arrived. Return the weapons and let's go."

His excitement that he tried to hide only filled her with a giddiness. She turned quickly and placed the training weapons on the rack with a waive to the Wardens as she exited the ring with Cullen. "What is it?"

He gave a throated chuckle. "You'll see."

Uthreida pouted at the Commander. "A Horker?" Her voice rising in excitement.

He gave her an awkward look as they exited the upper courtyard. "No."

"Whiterun Mead?"

"No." He said with a smile.

She took an excited inhale and slapped him in the chest. "My gold?"

Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose with a smile and a deep inhale. "Not quite."

Uthreida looked at him and his smirk as they made it down the last steps. If he's excited, then it has to be "a snow bear!"

Cullen stopped and his smile slipped into a pout. "Well, now I'm just disappointed it's not." He looked off to the gatehouse and lowered his brows. "What's this then?"

Uthreida followed his gaze and found Cole, Varric, Solas and Royoc mounting horses in armor and packs. Cullen strode to Royoc and she followed.

"Hello, Lady Uthreida," Cole said ghoulishly from his painted mare.

"Hello, Cole." She smiled at the spirit and rubbed the mare's neck.

"Slayer." The elf said passively.

"Solas." Her tone was dead as she addressed the elf. She smiled at the spirit. "Where are you going?"

"He's in Redcliff."

Uthreida lowered her brows. "Who."

"The man that made me."

Her first thought was a father but, she crossed under the horse's neck and stood near Varrick's horse. "What?"

The dwarf chuckled. "The kids scared that someone will bind him. Or something, and the protection can't be completed until he faces his past. All very novella. Chuckles and I are going for moral support."

"I can be free," Cole said from his horse.

Uthreida looked over to see Solas hold a look of hidden…something that she realize the process was more esoteric than simple. She looked ahead to see Royoc waive off Cullen's warnings. Uthreida took the boy's hand in hers and smiled up at him. "Well, I hope you find what you're looking for."

Solas adjusted himself on the horse. "Are we not to seek out one of your contacts as well, Varric?"

The dwarf bit his lips and nodded. "Yea." His tone was more forced than usual.

Uthreida smirked at the team. "Need some help?"

Varric chuckled. "Nah, princess, I think we got it."

"Alright, well" she looked up to see Cullen take a step back as Royoc clicked his tongue. "Good journey."

"We should play a round of cards when we get back."

Uthreida smiled at the dwarf. "I'd like that."

Varric gave a nod and Cole waived excitedly as they headed out the gatehouse. She watched the small team move as Cullen stood beside her. She looked up to see a concerned expression on his face. "You look like you need a ride. To the bakery."

He looked at her with confusion. "What?"

She smiled, realizing that expression didn't transfer well. "Are you alright? You look concerned."

He took a deep breath but smiled as he looked down at her. Never quite reaching his eyes. "Shall we?" He held a hand for her to follow.

He stepped off without waiting for her. She moved to catch up to match his stride. "What's going on?"

He gave a heavy sigh as they walked. "They're heading off to Redcliff."

"And?"

He rubbed his neck and rolled his head. "You've seen Empris du Lion. The men can't finish their assault without him. Meaning the Red Templars will keep being a threat and all of this is" he shook his head to force the thoughts out. A heavy sigh of disappointment heaving in his chest. "I think he's trying to get back at me."

"Why?"

"I don't know? Canceling the Warden order? Having the men do all the little humanitarian missions in our locations so he doesn't have to, thus, no one can thank him personally. So all he has to do is seal rifts and keep going. Possibly because I shut him down a few times."

Uthreida chuckled at his list. "He feeds off the accolades. Give him nothing more than required." He chuffed but kept walking. "How long has he ignored du Lion?"

Cullen sighed again, nodding to a shopkeep as they walked to the stables. "Few months."

Uthreida took a breath of annoyance. "And it's getting to you?"

"Yes."

"And he knows it?"

"Probably. How can it not? What they're doing-" he sighed again as if to rid the conversation. "Anyways." He flashed a smile to fool himself into a better mood. "Master Dennett made the request. So while not for you, personally, I think you'd enjoy this."

Uthreida smiled at him. "Will I?" She asked with a shimmy of her shoulders.

His soft laugh filled her with heat in her chest. "I think so." He waved a hand to the stables and let her enter. Uthreida skipped a few times and stopped. Her smiled falling from her face as she looked at the new riding breed. Cullen stood behind her and she turned disgusted as he smiled. "Dracolisk." She pulled her top lip back in disgust. "It's a breed of dragon." He said with a confused look at her expression.

She looked back at the blue and yellow scales, the horns, eyes, teeth, and talons of the monster that stood before her. "No, it's not."

"Yes, it is. Look at it." He waved a hand to the beast. "Look," he took a step closer. "Scales, sharp teeth, claws, horns, dragon."

"Aye," she stood next to him inspecting the beast, "so do the Argonians but they're not dragons."

He lowered a brow. "What?"

She waved it off and looked at the beast again. Its head bent low to pick up a scrap of meat and pulled its head back to chew and swallow like a duck. Not at all like the dovahlaan of the desert. The beasts' eyes lacked an intelligence as it chewed. "Drem yol lok." She said to it. It kept eating. Not knowing its own language. "Not a dragon."

"Is a dragon." She canted a hip in an argument. "Technically."

"No-"

"Yes-"

"It's not. Look at it."

"I am. Are you?"

"Are you?" She lifted a hand to point her argument and it snapped at her. She pulled her hand back in surprise as Ragnar whinnied like he was laughing. Cadence snorted as a more polite laugh. Uthreida grunted at the horses then at the almost lizard.

Cullen cleared his throat with a fisted hand to hide his smile. "Look, it's technically a dragon."

"It's actually an overgrown" she pulled her hands back when she pointed at it, "lizard."

Cullen rubbed his temple to stop the argument. "I will admit that over time, selective breeding and magical enhancements have made them-"

"Not dragons?"

He squinted his eyes at her continuous interruptions. "Is a dragon."

"Is not-" Cullen waived a hand to stop her. "Let's test." She drew her blade and the horses whinnied again.

Cullen stood between her and the beast. "It's expensive."

"And you wasted your money. It's not-"

"It is-"

"I think I'd know."

"Makers mercy, woman. Stop." He shoved her arm down and forced her to sheath her blade. He pinched his nose again and took a breath. "Look" he held his hands safely from the beast, "new kind of dragon. Thing." He said with a smile, hoping to save the excitement of a surprise.

"Not a -"

"Got it." He held a hand to stop her as she pouted. "But, new information for you, about, things, right?"

She arched a brow at him then looked at the monster again. Her lip curled back. This thing could be a very, very, distant cousin of the -

She took an excited breath and grabbed Cullen's furs with a smile. "What if the Argonians have the same lunar birth cycle like the Kahjiit? But…became stagnant as the ages went on?"

Cullen lowered his brows with a full expression of confusion. "What?"

She looked away, trying to make it makes sense and it didn't. "No, you're right." She looked at the thing again. "A dragon subject to slavery is not a dragon." Even if its ancestors were a dragon, through human selected breeding, as a mount, was no longer a dragon.

"Still a dragon."

"Still wrong."

Cullen rolled his eyes and turned. "Master Dennett."

The older man dropped the hay bale and held his back for a second but turned to his name. His hands dropping as he saw the Commander. "Sir?"

"Dracolisk. It's a dragon, right?"

Dennett looked at the two. Seeing Cullen's request for confirmation and her stubborn pride of knowing her own quarry. Dennett smiled like he knew a joke. He cleared his throat and approached the Commander. A hand on his shoulder like a private talk. "I've…been married a long time. I'm going to give you some advice that was given to me when I thought I didn't need it. Two words that will save your marriage. Ready? Yes, dear."

Cullen scowled at the older man. His sigh was closer to a growl. "That's not the point-"

"It's never the point. Say it." Dennett held a finger to Uthreida who looked more confused.

"Can you confirm-"

"Say it."

"That's not the point."

"Is this really the hill you want to die on? Say it?"

Cullen ticked his jaw and turned to Uthreida with lead feet. "Yes, dear." He seethed.

Uthreida looked at him with an argument ready but he yielded. She looked at Dennett like he won. "This hardly feels like a victory."

Dennett facepalmed with a sigh. "You two deserve each other." He put his hands back on his hips. "Technically a dragon," he said to Cullen who smiled at her, "but" Dennett turned to Uthreida, "can't breathe fire, ice, or lightning." Uthreida shot Cullen the same condescending smile while he grunted with crossed arms. "You're both wrong and you're both right. Welcome to marriage." He turned and threw his hands up. "Maker preserve me. Get back to work." He turned to look at Cullen before he exited. "Respectfully."

The two stood in silence and watched the older man walk away. Each pouting at their respective stance. "Not a dragon."

Cullen turned to her slowly but smirked. "Yes, dear."

Uthreida, realizing it was a dismissive phrase, stamped her foot and fisted her hands. "Don't you dare start that."

Cullen threw his head back and laughed his way out of the stables. Uthreida crossed her arms and scowled at the man. Her attention turning back to the monster. She looked over it with judging eyes. "You do know you're not a dragon, right?" The mount took a step forward and rubbed its head in the wooden beam to scratch behind a horn. Its dumb eyes looking only at her. "Aye, you know."

Xx

Cullen yawned as he poured over the maps of the area. According to Rylen after Uthreida's reports, he sent Rylen's men to act as a force for the spies to investigate the Hidden Oasis and clear it out. Best they can tell, each of the Venatori they kill has some of the shards that Royoc kept bitching about in the Hinterlands and swore them off since. Dorian made a notion of the ocularum that made him curious.

Leliana reports that the Venatori are collecting shards and reports from the field indicate that Soldiers that try to use the ocularum, do not show shards any longer. Presuming the Venatori are collecting and taking to this oasis.

Which of course, begs the question of why?

Cullen rolled his head and popped his back from his chair. Lifting his cup and realizing it was empty. He looked around and noticed the candles had burned halfway down. Maker, it's that late? He yawned again and was thankful that he had removed his armor earlier for cleaning. He stood and his knees popped from lack of use. He chuckled to himself with a thought of 'too old' crossed his mind.

He blew out the candles and decided that he should at least try to sleep.

The north door opened and he was tempted to tell the Soldier off when waving red hair caught his attention. Uthreida stood in his office in an oversized nightshirt that went to her knees, and no shoes. Mumbling to herself as she stumbled.

Cullen crossed his arms and watched the drunkard talk to herself. There's always something more. She turned to look at his desk but didn't move. Creepily, didn't move. Cullen pulled his head back and wondered if she was possessed.

She looked up slowly and saw the owl bas above his desk. "Jhunal." She said quickly as she pointed at it. "Two. What first?" She walked in a staggering circle in thought and never noticed him in his office. Muttering. Her shoulders hunched in thought. "Puzzle, shit." Cullen chuckled as he watched her. Not even hiding. She got low and moved as if to hide in his office. "Falmer." She moved into a dark space of his office but tripped over her feet. Cullen chuckled again. She patted her chest and shoulders but looked in panic. "Bow, where, bow."

Cullen tilted his head and noticed her eyes were half-open. Her sluggish movements, her discombobulation. She was either sleepwalking or reliving trauma. Cullen took a deep breath and stepped towards her in the half-lit office. "Utha." He said calmly.

She turned at her name slowly. Looking at him in confusion. She took a breath and sniffed. She shook her head slowly but never saw him. "Cul-what you? Shroud Hearth -is-its no safe. Run." She weakly shoved his chest to push him. "Go. They-they will-will see."

He looked her over and saw the same movements from other Templars that survived Kinloch. "Where are we?"

She moved again to look for something. "Ivarstead." The roll of her native tongue on the word letting him know she was mentally in Skyrim. "I can't, can't find dragon claw. Can't find moving stone. Found stories. No door. I- I can't puzzle." Her hand pulling at her cheek in thought as her eyes were confused around her. "Need dragon claw. Lyrium dragon claw."

His brows shot up at her words. "Sorry?"

"Can-can-can find door."

"What is it?"

She looked around her and saw the owl statue again. "Jhunal." She smirked. "Owl. What other two?"

Cullen chuckled again at her. "Bear." He threw out randomly.

She snapped. "Tsun." She ducked again as she heard another sound from her own snapping. "Draugar. Hide." She pulled him by the arm to hide in the corner that was still well lit. Shambling along the way. "Cul." She looked at him with a smile. "You find?" He chuckled again as she seemed to forget she was supposed to be hiding. "Have-haven't door. You? Dragon claw. You?" She swayed as she looked up at him. He smiled. He had no idea that she suffered from sleepwalking. None of the reports indicated. Maybe it's stress-induced. "You-you go. No safe." Her face pulled in worry as she tried to push him again, only into the wall.

Cullen sighed and knew, as adorable as this was, ethically, he had to help. He pulled her in and hugged her to keep her falling for flailing. "I found the…thing…you're looking for."

She took a deep breath but didn't look at him. But looked around herself. "Where?" she said mostly as a sleep-induced moan.

He eyed the couch but judging from her sleep-deprived state, he sighed. "Upstairs."

She closed her eyes but tilted her head back at him. "No up. Tomb down."

"It's weird here, isn't it?" She made a moaning sound of agreement.

The north door opened and a lieutenant stepped in. "Commander, we've received reports of the Slayer-"the lieutenant looked over to see Cullen hugging Uthreida who was trying to hide from whatever she saw. "Acting strangely." they finished slower.

"I've got it."

Uthreida pulled him by the collar to get down. She shushed him several times. "Draugar," and shushed him again.

Cullen waved a hand to the lieutenant showing it was under control. They gave a questioning thumb up and he nodded. The lieutenant made an awkward popping sound but about-faced. Quietly shutting the door behind them.

Cullen gently pulled her to stand. "Need to-need dragon claw."

"It's upstairs."

"How-"

"Ladder."

She tilted her head back to him but her eyes were still closed. "You-you have can't don't go. Leave. It's stay. Won't survive. Too" she leaned into him with her hands holding the back of his shirt. Her face going into his throat. "Dark here." She murmured into his skin. His heart raced at her nearness and voice. "Too leave. Don't. Please. Save."

He had no idea what she was going on about but smiled. "Okay."

"Don't, can't lose, stay." Her hands relaxed on his shirt as her weight leaned against him. Her breath deepening as she hid her face in his throat.

Her knee buckled at the weight and she dropped. Cullen held her quickly under her arms. Her head rolled back but she leaned something in her state. Cullen grunted as he pulled her back into standing. "Utha." He said desperately.

She found her feet and stood with his assistance. "Cul?" She looked at him with closed eyes. "How? You here. You, you go."

"I know, I know." He pulled her to the ladder.

She weakly fought him off. "You go. You-"

Cullen turned her to the ladder. "I'm not leaving you. Now climb."

"No-" she shook her head with exaggeration.

Cullen took a breath and sucked his teeth. He had to remind himself what happens when a soldier is rudely awoken from their walking and the terrors and fear that come with it. Finding patience, he changed tactics. "Utha, climb. They're after us." He faked a panicked tone to catch her.

"Ha?"

"They're coming. Climb."

"Wha-"

"Stop asking questions and climb." She shook her head as if still confused. He racked his head for something. "Skeletons." He said with a wide shrug.

"Want gold." Her expression of fear and surprise marred in sleep, a hand held over her heart as if she couldn't believe the betrayal made Cullen double over in laughter. "Mine" Her voice wavering in determination and sleep deprevation.

"Yes," he said between fits of laughter. "Yes. Climb."

She shuffled back to the ladder and paused as if she forgot how. "Are-"

"Climb- they're coming for your gold." He tried to be panicked, honest, but this is too adorable.

She began to climb the ladder and Cullen had to hold his breath to keep from laughing at the realization that it worked. He looked up only to see that she was not wearing trousers under that shirt. With averted eyes, he took the ladder and climbed after her.

He entered the quarters and looked at her who seemed confused at the change of rooms. Cullen pulled back the comforter for her to lay down. She walked a circle and was mumbling to herself again. "Utha?" She kept mumbling and pulling at the shirt she was wearing anxiously. Cullen stepped closer to her. "Darling?" She kept shuffling and not noticing him.

"Vaermina block." He lowered a brow at her. She stopped. Stopped moving, stopped talking. And just stood there.

"Utha?"

"claw." She whispered.

He took a breath with a shake of his head. "It's over here."

She turned slowly to his voice. Her eyes closed as she walked to him. Cullen met her halfway to guide her to the bed. She held onto his neck as he guided her. "Need-need"

"I know, dear. Here." He guided her to the bed but she clung to him. Not moving to sit down. Like married to a toddler. He picked her up under her knees and placed her on the bed. Her hands clutching at his shirt again and threatened to remove it if he stood away from her. His grunt was interrupted as she pulled him down to her.

"White wolf" Her tone edged on fear even as sleep was taking her.

Cullen pushed himself up only for her to follow Him. "There's no wolf here. You're safe."

"Too. Leave." She whispered into his throat. "Don't." Her hands getting tighter on his shirt and pulled. "Corrupt blood." She pulled him back down again and he grunted. He had to take a breath so he didn't lose his temper from the sleeping woman.

Her hands loosened on his shirt and her breathing deepened as she held him. He looked her over to see that she was starting to sleep naturally. He pulled her arms down only for her to stir. Her hands tightening again.

He was too exhausted for this. Ten minutes. He picked her up and moved her over to make room. He laid down beside her, kicking his boots off. He laid down and she moved so she was under his arm. Her head was on his shoulder but her face was buried in his throat. Her hands clutching at the shirt on his chest. When the initial aggravation passed, he looked down at her and laughed softly. Skeletons were going to steal her gold. He used a free hand to pull her hair back from his itching face and looked at her. Sleeping soundly on him. Her leg wrapping around his and locking it to her.

Ten minutes and he'll go to the couch. Ten minutes, and he'll stop rubbing her arm on his chest with a thumb. Stop playing with her hair. Stop listening to her breathe. Stop thanking the Maker she's alive.

The nail in the candle holder woke Cullen from his sleep. He rolled on his side wanting a few more minutes, knowing the next nail will just wake him up.

His arm hit something and he opened one eye to look. Red hair splayed over the pillows as Uthreida slept. The initial confusion wore off as he remembered thieving skeletons. He's not supposed to be here. He was supposed to leave her last night. He ran a hand over his face and looked at her sleeping form. His heart swelling at the sight of her. His lungs no longer hitting jagged edges, but, smooth and fitted pieces. Feeling more rested than he had in a long time.

She was alive. And in his bed. And…certainly she still…right?

The possibility of rejection turned a blade in his chest. It's been three days-four days and she hasn't made a move to show she was still interested in their proposal. She hasn't said anything. Then again, neither did he.

He took a breath and decided to let her sleep. He sat up slowly to not wake her and turned. Seeing his boots on the floor, he reached over-

She took a quick breath. He looked over to see her bolting up. Ready to run. A fist raised to him.

Cullen held his hands up. Keeping his distance.

Her wild eyes took in the room, looked at him, then at herself. She pulled the covers to hide where the oversized shirt didn't cover with a bit lip of shame. "Why am I here?"

He turned away and started to reach for his boots. "Get some rest."

"Have I earned it?" Her tone heated in anger and disgust as she looked at him.

Cullen turned slowly to see the hate in her eyes. He sighed, knowing exactly what she was implying. "You were sleepwalking."

"And guiding me to your bed was your first thought?"

"Having you sleep on the couch, actually. But I thought you deserved a bit more."

"Why didn't you take me back to my room?"

"Because of what you're wearing. Or, rather, lack thereof."

She jutted her jaw and pulled the blankets tighter to her. "You now see my concern."

Cullen sighed but only yawned, causing her to do the same. "Nothing happened."

She squinted her eyes at him. The blankets moved like she was shaking her hips. Her eyes were only on him. "Fine." She begrudged.

Too tired to be physically sarcastic, he left it in his tone. "Great. Let's talk about your stress levels." He returned to put his boots on. When he finished the one boot in silence, he looked over at her to see her being stubbornly quiet. "How did you sleep?" He reached for the second boot in her silence again. "So," he smiled, "skeletons are going to steal your gold are they?" He smiled as he looked over his shoulder at her response. She looked away confused then back at him. "What's a dragon claw or moving stones?" Her eyes went back to him for a second, still confused. "It's what you were muttering last night as you entered the office. Trying to figure out a puzzle." She pulled back as she looked at him. Her eyes were slightly wider than before. "Trying to protect me from, something. Guard rotations if I had to guess." She remained silent as she tried to put it together herself. He tightened the laces and nodded. "Well, this has been enlightening."

"How" she whispered but looked away when he looked at her.

He turned on the bed to see her. Her honest look of confusion, fear, and misunderstandings rose a concern in him. "Utha, are you alright?"

She sat up on the bed and winced. Calling magic, she placed a hand to the small of her back and relaxed slightly. Pulling all of her long, coiled hair over to one side. She looked at Cullen in silence. Cullen waited with a brow. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"The face."

"My face?"

"You're judging."

"Little bit. But mostly confused." She sighed. "Utha, you were sleepwalking around the hold for Maker knows how long in practically just a shirt. You were acting weird and erratic enough to catch the attention of the guards who-"

"Stop."

"Explain."

She spun on the bed so her back was to him, pulling the blankets tighter around her. She ran her hands through her hair and hunched. The silence making him on edge and wanting to rant at her behavior. "I can't sleep." She whispered. A heaviness in her words. "I can't-" she shook her head as she looked at the hole in the roof. "Between the usual nightmares, new realizations, and stress I-" she gave a hard sigh. "When I'm exhausted, I crash. Add stress into it and…I, well. Sleepwalk." Cullen snorted. "Shut it. Look, I don't. I - I just. Arg. Look, I don't feel safe and I was tired, I don't remember how I got here, let alone how I climbed that fucking ladder," she waved her hands erratically and ranting and Cullen knew she was telling the truth. "Look, it's not safe, I hate it, I made this bed, and it's mine. Ergo, you're in my bed." She looked at him with a wavering determination that crumbled when he looked at her with a ready argument. She turned and hid her face from him. "I-" she tried several times to speak but only stuttered on her stance and confusion. Her jerky movement and hidden expressions gave credence to her discomfort and embarrassment.

Cullen took a deep breath and sat up. "I know I welcomed you to stay, but, ah, I-"

"Didn't think I'd follow through?"

Cullen looked at her annoyed as he put words in his mouth. "Would have preferred a more formal request-"

She moved to give a narrow argument but sighed. She looked over her shoulder at him with her own judgmental look. "Oh, and how would that request sound? Cullen," she leaned back on her elbows with a smirk on her lips, "share your bed with me." Her voice was a tone of sarcastic seduction. She tussled her hair dramatically but the smirk was of playful naught. Cullen tried to control the clinch in his stomach at her display. "That's why."

"So it is my bed." She waved a hand to dismiss his point. Cullen rubbed his temples. "I'm not mad, Utha, I'm just confused." He looked at her and took a breath. "You're apparently under a lot of stress, and" he huffed, "we're here now"

"Because you guided me here."

"Because three months ago, we" he clenched his hand. The once happy memory turned to ash within minutes of seeing her again. "A month and a half ago, we" his throat sealed at the excitement that once filled him. "You." The prospect that he wanted. "And for the last three days, have been avoiding me. And now, you were there, and now you're here. We're here. Look, I don't understand. Just explain what is going on. Talk to me-"

"I can't-"

"Utha, please." Her silence made him snort irritability. "Maker forbid you should ever ask for help or appear human in any way."

"It's not-" she sighed into her hands.

"Not what? Simple?" She looked at him with a heaviness in her eyes. She turned to face him. "Talk to me."

"Fine." She spat. "I've been avoiding this conversation for three days because I've had a month to think. A month to realize something from speaking to others across Orlais." She rolled up her sleeve to show battle wounds. She ripped the covers off to show him her legs covered in the same scars. She called fire to her hands. "What do your Templar eyes see, Cullen?" His eyes dropped to her scars, then the fire in her hand. She snuffed the flames, holding her arms. "This was a fool's idea. And, I'm sorry it took me this long to realize it." Her jaw clenched as she ran a hand through her hair. "You fear mages. And as a mage, I shouldn't-" she looked away from him. "I shouldn't go to you for comfort. I shouldn't be here. The implications alone are-"

Cullen leaned forward and touched her shoulder to look at him. "Whatever I once saw in mages, I see none of that in you."

She lowered a brow. "So what, I'm the exception?"

"Stop picking fights." He pointed. "The point is,-"

"You're not listening-"

"You're not speaking."

"They'll think you're a thrall." She all but shouted over him. Her chin quivered as she looked at him. "They'll "she took a breath. "They have but to look at me. And will say blood mage and will call you my thrall if we- if they see, if they know, you" she turned from him. An aspect he hadn't considered. They could. And Royoc would. "Because that's what you taught them. No weakness, no fear. No justice. A life of servitude and compliancy. As a Templar, you'll be given the benefit of the doubt and I'll-" she shook her head, wiping her face with a shaking breath. "But, I can't sleep. I can't think. All I can see is the Hurlocks. The taste in the back of my tongue. The smell, Kyne help me, it's everywhere." She placed a hand to her chin to hold it. "Dovahkiin who runs from darkspawn. What a sham I am." She sniffled into her hands to hide from him. Cullen watched her struggle. He scooted close to her. "I just want to go home, and here, you." She sighed heavily. Whatever warmth filled his chest at her confession departed as he looked at her. Her weakened and struggling form. "Do you know how many times I thought of how to destroy Thedas? Orlais? The Inquisition? How many plans and backup plans and worse case scenarios I have to make Thedas better? Stronger? How to destroy the Chantry and put you people back on the right path. How dangerously close I am to becoming the new Corypheus. To becoming Mirrak and" she waived her hands only to realize she was fanning her face from the frustrated tears that filled her eyes and sealed her throat. "I just-" she covered her face to hide her chin. "I just want to go home. I can, I want to, he's right there, but then I see you, and Sera, and Dorian, and adorable little Dagna and awesome Micha and I just- I don't, but I'm so," she looked away and sniffled again with a deeper sigh at her frustrations. Her hands pulling at her hair as she tried to control her breathing.

"Come here." He held his arms wide for her. But she didn't look. He pulled her to his chest and leaned back on the headboard. She fell into him without a fight. He bent down and kissed her neck. "You don't have to be brave all the time." She leaned back into his shoulder. "If this is the one place you can find sanctuary, succor, it's yours. All I ask, is that you ask."

She turned her head to him. Her voice was about to break. "What if I can't?"

He lifted her chin to meet his eyes. "Won't." She chuckled at his accusation of her hubristic tendencies. "You're a handful, but you're my handful. Will you meet me halfway?"

"I don't want you to get hurt from what's going to happen. They'll call you-"

"Don't worry about me. Let them talk. They're apparently doing it anyways. I will gladly attest to any tribunal that-"

"What? The truth? That I told you to say. Anything you say will fall on deaf ears. 'Oh, the poor wee thing.' You'll have to betray me if you want to-"

Cullen smirked. "I think I see what's happening here. You're downward spiraling into worst-case scenario to justify-"

"Don't-"

Cullen grunted and found a sense of security in his arms. "You are my wife. Being without you for a month plus taught me that I will not abandon you. And if I have to make that vow before the altar of the Maker, I will." She looked at him with wide eyes to check his sanity. "I swore that I would protect, honor, and preserve you. I stand by it. Yes, we fight more than we should but,-"

She leaned forward and Cullen's breath was taken when she kissed him. Her hand in his beard as she contorted her neck in his arms. He exhaled hard and fisted her hair in his hands.

He pulled away, looking into her eyes. She scrunched her face. "That was a bad idea."

"Keep them coming." He tilted her chin to taste her again. He's waited three months to taste her lips. To smell her scent as strongly as he did now. His thumb drawing over her jaw and soft cheek. Her hand going into his own hair to pull him closer. His heart swelling at the feel of her pressed to him. She broke the kisses. Resting her forehead on the bridge of his nose. "Ask me." He panted. "And it's yours."

He could see her chewing her lip, trying to find a way around his request. She finally smiled with a sigh. "Will you share our bed with me? Sometimes."

"Of course. Occasionally." She squinted at his quip. "Thank you."

Her hand ran down to his chin. "You need a shave."

He ground his chin into the pocket of her shoulder. She made a squeal in laughter at his teasing. "I thought you liked it."

"I do." She pushed him off with a smile. "But I can't monitor your health when you look like a barbarian." He smiled at her constant fussing. "I like your hair. The curls. Now, you grow that out," she slid her hand back into his hair, her nails running along his scalp and heating his core deliciously, "you'd be the envy of every man in Haljfinger."

He chuckled. "Well, I'm glad someone does."

"You don't?" He shook his head. "Shame."

He took a breath. "I suppose I could change my style."

"No, you shouldn't."

"Well, if you like it-"

"No, it's fine-

"But if you-"

"No, I just-"

"Don't want to be called a blood mage?" She opened her mouth to argue but snapped her jaw shut. Cullen lowered his brows at her. "So, walk me through your mind." He took one of her hands in his and laced their fingers. "We're publically married, publically friends, but secretly sleeping in the same bed and courting. That is normally associated with our public marriage? Does that sum it up?"

"Uh, well, that wasn't the initial plan. Or even the last one."

"For fun, what was your last plan?"

"If you would just stick to the script." Cullen laughed at her playful anger. "Basically, 'Cullen no, stay back. I'm crazy and dangerous. Your-"

"Well, that's already been established."

She looked at him with wide eyes and a scowl that he smiled at. She flailed her arms to get out of his hold but he held on tighter. She folded her arms with an irritated look and huffed. "Thank you for keeping me humble." She scathed.

"Quite welcome."

She sighed in the silence. "How is the lyrium?"

"Better. Thank you for asking." The second nail hit the candle holder and both looked up at it. "Can I ask you something? Is this…communion" she groaned, "a secret?"

She paused, realizing her conundrum given the lack of pants. "I think we both know I didn't think this through."

He chuckled at her honest answer. "So, ah," he dropped his hand from her shoulder to hold her other hand. "What, Um, what is this?"

She rubbed her thumb over his in thought. "I ah, don't know. It's unorthodox, I'll give you that."

"It goes without saying" she made a moan of agreement. He pulled her and so he could see the three interlocking triangles tattooed on her hand. He forced his other hand free to move her hair so he could rest his chin on her shoulder. "What do you want?"

She laughed. "What do I want? Let's see. I want Skyrim United. I want us to set aside ancient differences and stand with our neighbors to end the Thalmor. I want the Empire to be strong again. I want the people to thrive. I want strong trade with Thedas. I want Ferelden to succeed. I want actual reform in Orlais. I want the elves to have the same rights as the humans. I want the Darkspawn eradicated. And for all the things I want, I have to become a monster to do it. I have to choose one land. I will have to wage war to meet my ends. And for all of this, I'm scared of what I'll become. Of what I'll actually achieve."

He nodded, running his thumb across her tattoos. "It's a noble desire. Didn't exactly answer the question though."

"Do I want the life Farkas promised me? Aye. But-" she looked to the sky that was starting to color. "A part of me believes it will never happen."

"Because peace and happiness isn't an option for you?"

She held up a hand to argue but slowly faded as she looked away dramatically like an unbelievable revelation. "That's…huh. Maybe. Look, the point is," she moved forward to untangle herself from him. "No one is promised the sun. And once this war is over, I'm leaving. And I don't want to pull you or drag you through…this so, I just, I" she bit her lip as even she tried to rationalize it. "I don't know."

Cullen looked away biting his lips. "We're good though, right?"

"No, we're terrible. This is a stupid idea."

Cullen threw his head back and laughed at her assessment and the truth of it. He looked her over and saw her hesitation. "But,"

She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "I want to. But-"

He looked at her and caught her eyes. A quite desperate plea in them. He took her hand again and squeezed gently. "I've had time to consider this. And, agreed, not the wisest idea, you bring up several good points. But, it's never a good time to do anything for oneself. Such as quitting lyrium in a time of war. When you're in charge of the welfare and morale of men. But, the point I'm making is, I've considered it, pros and cons, and while I'm aware this will be temporary, I'm still willing to try." She looked away with a curled brow. "But if you're not willing to try. To meet halfway, consider this forgotten."

She took a deep breath. "They'll kill us both. You know that right?"

"We'll cross that bridge-"

"We need to burn that bridge."

Cullen sighed and leaned back on the headboard with crossed arms. "What do you suggest?"

She looked away, hunching over and holding her arms. Her eyes were on the tree in his room as she clutched her jaw to say something. Every second of her silence cementing his fear of what she was about to say. "That this" she took a breath and held it, "should stop. It needs to stop."

Cullen crossed his arms over his chest to keep his heart from falling out. "If you think it's wise."

"I don't." He groaned at her constant juxtaposition. "I don't know, Cullen." She hid her face. "I stay, you're in danger. I leave, I'm in danger. But both make excellent points. There's no winning this. Aside from-" she waived a vague hand that he didn't understand.

Cullen leaned forward. A smirk crossing his face as he looked at her, remembering his own trial of decisions. "Wha' do you want?" he mimicked her accent as best as he could. "Wha does yer soul crave?"

She looked at him with promised death but smiled at the same memory. "What I want is irrelevant. If they see that we're becoming more than we were, a pagan and a Templar, if they know we actually feel-" her fingers curling at her own chest and filled him with the hope that she felt something for him.

He moved slowly. No longer caring of what was right or appropriate. He sat before her and tilted her chin to meet his eyes. He wanted to say that she shouldn't worry about him, that his justice will come soon enough, but instead, fell into her. The undeniable spiritual peace and internal war that came with her. The scent of thistle reminded him of home. Her hands going to his chest in tenderness as he wrapped his arms over her back.

Their breath becoming broken as they held one another in their own wants and desires of possibilities. She fell back, her lips never leaving his as he laid atop her. Her tongue tasting his lips as she held him closer. Boldness came over him as he reciprocated. Their tongues barely touching and colliding. It was morning and she didn't taste as well as he would've hoped, but there was something. The want, the desire, the drive, her leg curling around his like to entrap him. He wanted it. The cold chills and hot breaths. Goosebumps over his skin from her fingers and the beating heart like hours of drills.

His kisses moved from her lips to her scar to catch his breath. Moving of their own violation to her throat as his hand at her waist. Feeling her clench under him and her hand clutches the shirt on his back. A small moan escaping her lips as he moved to the pocket of her shoulder. Scenting her. Unable to get enough. "Stay with me." Her hand went to his hair and she fisted what she could reach. "If not for me, then for peace. Your peace."

She relaxed her hand lazily in his hair and rubbing his back. Silent as he laid against her chest to hear her heart. "Why do you want this?" She whispered.

He chuckled. "Please don't ask me that."

"I'm serious. Is this a power dynamic for you or-"

He sat upon his elbows to see her face. Her eyes were distant as she waited on him. He took a breath to gather his courage. "I trust you. You have a good heart. Honor. You see flaws as well as hope. You," he chewed his lip as he looked away. "I've realized that I may not be the best man, but through your standards, I'm trying. To reach them. To be a better man." He swallowed back the pain and laid his head back down. "You feel safe with me. And I feel safe with you. Something I thought would never happen. I want this because, even though I know it's temporary, I want-" he clenched his jaw. But he took a breath, she needed to know. "I feel something other than pain and recourse, and I want to explore it. But I can't without you." He looked up to see her eyes on him. Questioning. But wanting to believe. He looked away. "When I thought you died, I begged the Maker for a second chance. I told myself all the things I did wrong. All the things I should've done. And now, I have that chance. And" he met her eyes as she looked at him with a conflicting look. "I know this is temporary, I know this will be difficult, I know you're probably still not over him but, I want to try."

She took a breath. "This will end terribly, you know that?"

He took a breath. Knowing it. And nodded. "I'll take the pain."

"And hate mages again?" her voice breaking as she looked at him.

He sighed, tired of these games. Realizing she was just as insecure as he was. His courage was wavering and he needed an answer. "Take it or leave it. But there's no going back. Not anymore."

She searched his eyes as much as he did hers. The silence filled him with dread as he looked down at her. Her hair spread over his covers and a concerned pull on her lips. His hand slowly dropped to his chin, her thumb gently grazing his scar. He turned his face into her hand. Desperately eager for her touch on his starving skin. She kissed him gently. A barely brushing of their lips. She pulled him down and kissed his forehead. "A safe harbor during the storm."

"If you'll let me." His voice was hoarse at her indecision.

"You offer peace." She whispered as if afraid the stones would echo. "Do I, are you, I mean." She moved to speak, but her throat sealed, and she bit her lips to silence herself. Looking away from him.

Cullen smiled at her. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead to bring her back to him. "More than I should admit."

He looked into her eyes and saw her strength about to snap. "This is going to hurt." Cullen froze, realizing she was in a position to cause bodily harm. She kissed him. Harder. Taking a deep breath and filling her. Breasts jutted against his chest. He moved to hold her closer. Letting their tongues talk in the silence of the room and their agreement.

He pulled away catching his breath and looked at her swollen lips. The light of the room telling him how late it was getting. The line for breaking fast will be forming soon. He kissed her. Slower. Deliberately, forcing his hands away from her body. "We should-"

Her eyes caught the light from the windows and ceiling. "Aye."

"You should, somehow-" he offered a smile at her as he pushed himself off of her to sit on his knees. Their legs untangling slowly. "Do you want to borrow a pair of trousers?"

"Gods, please." her wide beaming smile made him laugh.

He pushed himself off the bed and retrieved a pair he rarely wore as they were too small. He passed them to her and allowed her some privacy as he turned away. He heard the movement of fabric and let her dress in silence as he busied himself with a fresh shirt.

"Right." She gave a smirk as she finished. Cullen scratched his head for a moment, looking her over in clothes that were far too large for her. "I'll see you in the rings, then?"

Her hands slowed as she smoothed out her shirt. "Do you want to draw attention?"

Does she not? "I just meant in general."

"Let's see what the day holds and take it from there."

Cullen arched a brow. "You're hesitating."

"It's still new, it's still weird, and it's still awkward. Forgive me."

"And now you're deflecting." He said with a smile.

She looked at his smirk with a scowl. "Good day, Commander." She held her chin high as she moved to fake what confidence she had left. Cullen watched her descend the ladder. He waited until the door closed before falling back on his bed, a victorious smile on his face.

Xx

A tankard appeared before Uthreida as she worked in the smithy. She looked up to see Micha smirking. Like Uthreida owed her money and she was there to collect one way or another. She took the seat opposite the table. "Heard you had an interesting night." She said with the same smile as she drank.

Uthreida fought the smile and was failing. Trying not to think of Cullen's comforting weight on her chest this morning or his tounge. She dropped the tools aside and took a drink. "Aye."

Micha leaned in to keep the conversation between them and not Harrett. "Heard you ran the ramparts naked."

"Ha? No." Micha arched a brow. "I was…wearing a shirt." She said into the tankard.

Micha leaned back laughing. "According to the guards, you left the commander's tower this morning. In oversized clothes." Uthreida shot her a warning look that she smiled at. The dwarf raised her hands to surrender. "Hey, girl. Go get that dick. Certainly explains that sashay in the rings this morning."

"Nothing happened."

"Nothing? You serious?" Uthreida took a breath to keep the smile off her face The smell of elder leaves and his hands touching her bare skin. "What? He no good? I suppose, political marriage and all. I'll tell you what, I'll talk to him."

Uthreida dropped her head. "Dibella, please."

"I'm Micha. Look," she placed two fingers on the table and moved them like a person walking. "Men seem to think it's all about the strut, or the hop, right? But you get that run," she alternated her fingers quickly with a dark smirk. "You bear down a little bit and, lord above," she said with a fan to her face for each word, "you gonna need to change those sheets and flip the mattress." She made a high-pitched sound with a vicarious smile.

Uthreida dropped her tools with a clang and facepalmed. Trying not to think of Cullen doing just that and his knowing smirk that made her clench. "You done?"

"Want me to talk to him?"

"No."

"You gonna talk to him?"

"Eventually."

"Mama, listen, you get under that pelvic bone," Micha moved her hands and alternated her 'running fingers again. She winked and leaned back. "Thank me in the morning."

Uthreida sighed and picked up the tools. "I miss the days where our conversations weren't this graphic."

"Hey," she warned, "you hid this from me. This is what you get now."

Uthreida nodded deeply. "You're absolutely right. I'm sorry."

Micha looked at her in a playful look. "Listen, friend, I got better things to do than judge you."

Uthreida put the tankard down. "And this is?" She waved her hands between them.

Micha shrugged. "Afterparty?" Uthreida groaned. "All seriousness" Micha had to physically wipe the smile from her face. "You alright?"

"I'll be alright." She said after taking a drink.

"Right." Micha leaned in. "Come on, level with me."

Uthreida looked her over as a finger grazed the rim. "I can't sleep."

"I know that. But why?"

Uthreida bit her cheek and looked at her friend with a pained expression. She tapped her chest to indicate the griffin on the wardens plate.

Micha looked down but nodded slowly. Understanding her hesitancy. The dwarf took a deep breath and a deeper drink. "Yea. You know, as a warden of shorter stature, what you fear probably isn't going to happen. But, I get it. And I'm sorry we can't get to that point of trust." She said softly. "So, as a shallow friend, can I suggest that whatever you're going through, won't be solved with alcohol, drugs, copious elfroot, or lose women. Or, men, in your case." Uthreida lifted a tankard in agreement with her. "It works fine for swinging dicks, but females actually need to talk. It's weird, I know. When Sancha and I were together, it was nice to have someone in my corner. Someone who listened and helped me think and laugh. To have that trust and connection with someone. To have a commitment and-" Uthreida looked up when she paused. Micha's eyes looked distant like in memory. But her face was emotionless. Micha saw Uthreida looking at her and smirked. "The point is, I hope there's someone here you can speak to. Freely and openly with. To talk through your problems. Whether it's grumpy fur pants or sad bear or even mustache. Maybe not mustache. Josephine seems nice. Call her mama and see what happened." Micha gave a wink but Uthreida didn't know what that meant or why. Seemed unprofessional.

Uthreida picked up the lock she was working on and placed the pins in the housing. She took a breath and leveled with the dwarf. Letting her frustrations vent at the political and social implications of their newly budding relationship. "It's…I don't know. With Farkas, it was easy. We didn't have to worry about titles, or ranks, or positions."

"You didn't worry about positions?"

Uthreida shot her a look that Micha smiled at. "No. We also didn't have to worry about labels or perceptions. We just…were. And it worked. Here, it's" she lowered her brows as she thought of Cullen's willingness to throw it aside even if it meant his own prestige, even though, as his wife, it was her place to maintain it. And to be seen with her would only…she grunted. "It's complicated."

"What are you worried about?"

Uthreida sighed and shaved a bit of the metal to fit. "He's a Templar." Micha leaned back with a pained face and breath. "Ex Templar."

Micha arched a brow and waved a hand between them. "Once a thief."

Uthreida rubbed her neck. "Aye. Well, I have concerns and. And-"

"And?"

Uthreida but her lip. She slid another plate into the housing. Trying not to think of his smile this morning or his scent. How relieved she was when he said he would stand beside her. Committed to her. How comforted she felt. The desperate plea to be seen and heard by her. To give and receive peace for another in this war and life and… she sighed. "We always say that. We always say we don't have time, we shouldn't do it, it's hard, it's not convenient. And we keep pushing it off and pushing it off until we turn around and realize that those opportunities are no longer available. The reality is, we aren't getting out of this alive. May as well enjoy the ride." Uthreida smirked at the entendre that Micha allowed to skip. "Can I ask something?" Uthreida gave a nod as she worked. "Do you even like the Inquisitor?" Uthreida puffed her cheeks and smiled. Micha met it. "Not confirming nor denying. Got it. So, then, why come back? Certainly, it's for more than just mediocre cock?"

Uthreida sighed as she picked up the carved pin. And the complicated situation that arrived from it as well. "I need Ferelden."

"For?"

"Trade."

"Of Fluids?"

"Ha?"

She looked away slightly confused. "He's Fereldan right?" Uthreida rolled her eyes. "Good, the joke sticks. Anyways, trade. With?"

"My land."

"Where's your land."

"Not from here." She flashed a smile to sever the conversation.

Micha arched a brow. Her eyes moving in thought and took a breath in understanding. "Shit, you're" she leaned in after checking their surroundings' and whispered, "are you qun? Is that how you understood the ox man?"

"His name is The Iron Bull, and no, I'm not Qunari."

"One, ox man is a slur, like groundling or cloud gazer, and two, where are you from?" Uthreida smiled at her to get her to stop. Micha sighed in surrender. "What are you working on?"

"New lock."

Micha paused, resting her head on her hand. "These short responses need to stop. So I'm going to ask again, what are you working on."

Uthreida chuckled. "Sorry. I'm working on a new lock for my quarters."

"Yea? Good idea. Don't exactly want to accidentally walk in and see the commander's pale ass as he fucks you into the fade."

Uthreida dropped her tools and had to cover her face to hide a smile. A heat rising in her stomach at the mental image and the wanting desire of it. She looked at the dwarf as she failed at holding back a smile. "Tact, Micha tact."

The dwarf raised her mug in cheers. "Lock, huh?"

Uthreida picked up the tools and got back to work. "I have a few things I don't want people to take. Or look at."

Micha scoffed. "Shit, do I work for Corypheus or you?" Uthreida arched a brow at the comment. "Speaking of stuff we don't want to get stolen." She leaned in again. "How's our ah, package?"

Uthreida smirked as she turned the spring. "I haven't heard anything yet. So, I guess we're clear."

"Right. Right. But where is it?" Uthreida shot a knowing look at the greedy dwarf. "What?"

Uthreida sighed. "I don't know."

"Well, the next time he cums on your tits, ask for me, will you."

Uthreida looked at her with a dead expression. Trying not to see him from that perspective. "First, I'm not asking him."

"Why not?"

"Because if he finds out we have it, he'll just put it back in circulation" she quickly seethed through her teeth. "And you won't get it."

"Then where is it?" she spat back.

"I don't know."

Micha sighed. "Where could they put it? Vault? Where's the vault?" Uthreida shrugged. "What do you mean?"

"It's not exactly part of the tour, Micha." she hissed at a whisper. "Even if I did know, I'm not telling you."

"Oh, right. His assets. And here I thought we were friends."

Uthreida sighed at the woman and her playful banter of greed. She took the last pin and pricked her finger to rub the drip of blood on the enchanted pin.

Micha watched and leaned back. "What are you doing?" She whispered.

"Making it mine."

"Oh no." She said quickly and tapped the table. "Stop." She whispered deeply.

"Ha?"

Micha's eyes looked about them to make sure no one saw. She whispered something under her breath and leaned in. "That is blood magic."

Uthreida looked confused. "I mean, technically." Micha had a look of surprise followed by licking her lips in disappointment. She looked furious. "Micha, it's alright." The Warden bit back her lips to keep silent but her wide eyes said differently. Uthreida sighed. "Agreed, what you saw at Adamant was bad. Unethical. But, a drop of blood is but a signature. It makes the lock mine. It makes it to where the lock is unpickable."

"Bull shit."

Uthreida tilted her head. "I'll let you test, aye. And look," she looked over her shoulder to make sure the smiths were still working. "No demons." She slid the final pin in place gave it a quick shake. "Back home, their called blood locks. The problem is, aside from the expense, everyone that needs access needs to," she poked her finger to show blood without drawing blood, "so if you have more than four or five people, it's impossible. Having more is where the expense comes in. And they become blood seals. There are mages that make generational locks. So my children and their children and so forth can use."

"What are you going to do when you leave?"

"Remove the lock core." She placed it into the housing and secured it with a nail. Uthreida took the key and tested it, making sure it unlocked for the key. The clicks indicated success. She gave the key to Micha to try.

The dwarf shot her a look and tried the key. The dwarf lowered a brow when the lock didn't work. Uthreida passed Micha her lock pick kit. The dwarf pulled her own kit and tried. Uthreida leaned back and took a drink. Smiling at the dwarf.

Micha broke a pick and looked around her in a slight panic to look for the deadremora she feared. Uthreida looked at her bored. Micha squinted and tried again. When the second pick broke, the dwarf shot her an annoyed look. Uthreida just smiled.

"Lady Uthreida." She turned to see a runner approach her. "Lady Josephine has requested your presence in the garden."

Uthreida arched a brow but stood. "Let me know when you get it." She tapped the table to Micha who didn't notice her departure.

Uthreida made her way and looked to the gazebo where Liliana, Josephine, and the hagraven sat. Uthreida took a deep breath and entered. What the Cold Harbor could this possibly be about? "You wanted to see me," Uthreida said as she approached the gazebo in the gardens. Liliana, Josephine, and Morrigan all turned to see her approach in half armor.

Josephine smiled. "Yes, please." She waved a hand across a table of tea sets and snacks. "We wanted to check in with you." Uthreida eyed Liliana who sipped her tea. And Morrigan's cold yellow eyes on her with a curious smirk. "After your travels. How are you?"

"Good. May I?" She pointed to the tea set and she nodded. "It is good to be back in Skyhold."

Liliana smirked. "We read the reports of your adventures abroad. They made for an interesting read."

"Glad I can provide some form of entertainment here," Uthreida said with a smile as she sipped her tea. Still uncertain what was going on or what this was about. If Liliana is here, it can't be good.

"I have a few questions." Liliana turned the cup on the saucer as she looked at Uthreida.

"Please."

"Your Grey Warden friend,"

"Micha."

"Yes, we did some research." Josephine smiled kindly, taking over the conversation. "Micha, before joining the Grey Wardens as in a high position in the Antivan Carta. Micha the Merciful was a fall for one of the heads. The Grey Wardens saved her from the executioner's block because of her skills. With the intention that she would never return to Antiva. Having her with the Inquisition keeps her in the south, but she can never go home. And if she does, she will be executed on sight." Uthreida took a breath. That does sound like the woman she traveled with.

"As a Grey Warden," Liliana leaned forward in her seat, "she could still be complied by Corypheus."

Uthreida arched a brow. "As a dwarf, her blood can't touch the fade-"

"It's her blood that ties her to Corypheus." Uthreida lowered a brow at the Spy Master. "Sam told me what they had to do to make Loghain a Warden. They needed the blood of the darkspawn and a dragon. The combination makes them Wardens. The same blood in Corypheus." Uthreida's mind halted on the phrase dragons blood. That's how she has 'Warden sense' against the Kruzz. She kept her emotions off her face. "Did she ever make any indication to you about joining or running or even trying to turn you over to Corypheus?"

"She offered I run with her to Antiva, but no. The only reason she stayed was the possibility of increasing her purse for my rescue."

"Let's talk about your rescue." Uthreida used both hands to hold her teacup to keep them from shaking. "You were pursued by Hurlocks? Alphas?"

"Aye, and the wee ones, eh, Genlocks, I believe."

"How many?"

Uthreida puffed her cheeks to remember. "Fifty at first. I was able to kill off most of them. But they kept getting up and following me."

"And for how long did you run?"

She took a deep breath. "Three days."

"You ran from Darkspawn for three days?"

"Aye." Fear is one fascinating motivator.

"Right." She took a deep breath. "And why did you draw them out?"

"It wasn't intentional if that's what you're assuming. I approached out of curiosity. I saw odd movements on the horizon and went to investigate. I thought it was Red Templars because of their movement but. I was wrong. They caught wind of me and chased."

Liliana nodded with a deep breath. "You're lucky you got away." Uthreida gave a thankful smirk. "I've seen what the outcome is for women trapped in the Deep Roads. And it's, frightening."

Uthreida looked at the Spy Master with a slack jaw. "You've seen a brood mother."

"Once, during the blight." She lowered her head but sniffed a breath as she met Uthreida eyes again. Shaking off the fear from such a sight. Uthreida eyed the hagraven who sipped her tea. She looked back at Liliana who blinked. "Cassandra said that you got sick when you came to the campsite in Du Lion. How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"What happened?"

"Consuming the ham was a suggested culprit."

Liliana smiled. "Cassandras reports indicate that being close to the red lyrium in the area made you sick. And according to Bull, you recovered well when you left the immediate vicinity. So far as their reports that your Warden thinks you're allergic to the lyrium. Why would she say that?"

Uthreida shrugged slowly. "I was heavy with sick at the time. All of my concentration was spent on not throwing up. As to what occurred in the camp, I'm afraid I can't help."

Liliana smirked at her. "So, your sensitive to red lyrium but not blue lyrium?"

"Apparently."

"Blue lyrium that you traveled with" she paused with a brow, "in your homeland that you've had a conversation with Dagna about, before you left, where you said something along the lines of 'the heart is corrupted'. Is that correct?"

Uthreida couldn't help but swallow the saliva that was pulling in her throat. Wow, that is some memory and Uthreida had a passing question if she kept such detailed records of everyone's conversations in the hold. "Aye, I believe we spoke about that."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Not particularly." Liliana arched a brow. All sense of professionalism vanished into cold eyes as she looked at Uthreida unblinking. The warning louder than her own thu'um. Uthreida eyed the gardens. She didn't see any agents, but that didn't mean they weren't there. She smiled at the woman. "There's a lot of history that-"

"Lady Morrigan has a vast knowledge of ancient history and lore. Maybe she can help put the pieces together."

Uthreida looked at the darker woman who smirked. All Uthreida could see were the yellow eyes, raven feathers, and memories of old women with bird claws. "Oh, I'd imagine. Forgive my forthrightness," Uthreida leaned on the table towards the Lady, "I don't mean to offend, but everything about you says hag raven to me. Which raises the question, is this illusionary magic or flesh magic?" Uthreida waved a hand to indicate Morrigans form.

"Tis neither." She said with a head tilt. "What is flesh magic?"

Uthreida smiled at her. "So, you're just a regular mage then?" She added a shrug to accentuate the insult.

Morrigan smiled at her condescending question. "More than what you're accustomed to, I'm sure."

"I doubt that." Uthreida leaned back with a smirk. "Flesh magic is using magic to change the flesh."

"How do you mean?" Josephine asked from her teacup.

"In the lighter circles, its used to reconstruct one's face. Such as changing one's nose or remove obvious signs of aging. In darker circles it," she looked away to think of how to put this. "I'm reminded of the tale of the Champion. Talos guide him. The senior enchanter brought the bodies to him and became this big, monstrous thing. Flesh golem." She said with a nod.

Morrigan gave a disgusted look. "Flesh golem?"

"Aye. Golem. Made of flesh."

Liliana smirked. "Do you know this magic?"

"No. The lighter bits for vanity are taught in the most prestigious houses in Marrowind and Cryodiil. To learn the darker bits required the aid of Sheogorath. And, ah," she gave an awkward chuckle. "No."

"Sheogorath?" Morrigan asked with a smirk.

Uthreida looked her over. "Do you know it?"

"No."

Uthreida shrugged. "Best not delve in places you don't understand, Lady. If for nothing else for your own safety. And sanity."

"We're getting off track," Liliana said quickly.

"Oh, terribly sorry, Why am I here? In public. Where I can't make a scene. With a mage guarding you."

Liliana smiled at her. Her patience growing thin at Uthreida's failure to answer simple questions. "You seem well-rested," Liliana stated lightly.

Uthreida arched a brow and matched her smile. What a fortuitous rumor to start with. "I suppose."

Liliana's smirk showed she revealed something. "Your husband was quite distraught, at the loss of you."

Uthreida laughed softly at the woman. "I've heard a few versions of the story but, distraught?" She shook her head. "Doesn't sound like him. I'll admit, the thought is amusing. But distraught? Hmm, that's pushing it."

"He ordered his men to clear rubble for four days. Removing his own armor to assist."

Uthreida sucked her teeth with a smile. "Well, that is sweet. I am sure he was eager to move the rock I was buried under so he could scoop me up and ask why I didn't kill the dragon. Loudly. In front of his men."

"Why didn't you slay the dragon?"

"It got away from me."

"You didn't pursue?"

"I was wounded, it was flying, and I didn't have a horse. I could only chase it so far."

Liliana leaned forward. "Of the ten dragons you've encountered, you've let four live."

Uthreida nodded at the Nightengale. "Sixty percent success rate? Given the occupation, not bad."

"Remind me, why did you let them live again?"

Uthreida took a deep breath. "Lydes, it was a child. Emerald Graves, it was laying eggs. Hissing Wastes, it let me live so I let it live. And the Black Dragon got away from me." She counted on her fingers.

"Interesting, that's the only one that you didn't make a conscious decision to save."

Uthreida lowered a brow and wondered where she was going with this. "Aye. It's odd, I'll give you that."

"Could it be the connection to Corypheus that prevented you from killing it?"

Uthreida took a breath and saw what she was asking. She thinks Uthreida works for Corypheus. She paused as Micha made the same passing comment. "No. I don't know how it got away, but it did."

Liliana leaned back in her chair with a smile. "There is one more thing I'd like to discuss. Josie?"

Uthreida looked over to see Josephine move her saucer and hand Uthreida a few folded pieces of parchment. Uthreida took them and read over the letters. Each was addressed to the Inquisitor. Each gave their apologies, as they were currently indisposed and unable to relocate to act as the commander of the forces. Each held a signature of a General of some King or high ranking lord of the Free Marches, Nevara, Ferelden, and Antiva. Uthreida blinked as she looked over the letters. Royoc is failing to find Cullen a replacement. She was right. Cullen was the only one stupid enough to take the job.

"The commander's tactical victory at Adamant has secured his position for now. A victory that is due to you and the Inquisitor." Liliana stated lowly. "But he's walking on thin ice. Between his addictions and unruly behavior. He's becoming difficult to control. We fear he may seize the Inquisition for himself."

Uthreida blinked at the comment. Historically, he has before. "You believe his lyrium consumption is leading to his erratic behavior?"

"Or lack thereof, going without can drive a man into madness."

"Aye, I've heard."

"And you persuaded him to get off the lyrium?"

Well, fuck. "Aye."

"Why is that?"

Because she cares. She looked at Liliana and saw the connection she was making. She assumed Uthreida is willfully manipulating the commander into weakness to weaken the army against Corypheus. She took a breath, wanting to justify her position but also knowing she would weaken Cullen's as well. "I persuaded him off lyrium because a man in his position can't have a perceived weakness."

She hummed. "But he has a wife. Under heathen law. The man has a weakness. Which begs the question why the two of you continued this facade?"

"We were afraid of the barbarian horde that may come to Skyhold."

"Yes, but we're now allies with the Avvar. Under his, rather unorthodox, alliance. Which has proven fruitful."

Meaning she knew it was Uthreidas idea. "To a few clans, true."

"So why continue?"

"The marriage kept them at bay. The alliance keeps the men safe in the field."

"Why continue?"

Lady Morrigan chuckled but quickly apologized. "No offense, but your marriage does reek of a mundane bodice ripper. The Templar who shan't, and the novice apprentice, so eager to please her jailer. 'Please, Mr. Templar, I'll do anything." She chucked again as she stirred her tea. "Given the man's history, it is both revolting and, just revolting. With another mage at that." She lifted her tea, her yellow eyes on Uthreida. "Poor girl."

Uthreida fisted her hand under the table. Biting her tongue to not make the 'mundane' mage scream. She looked back at Liliana. "We engage in the marriage to honor the contract with the Avvar."

"Commander Cullen is" Liliana looked away to find a decent simile, "a bit of a Bulldog. Once he latched on, he doesn't let go. With his jaw locked on his prize. He's a bit narrow-minded like that. I'm curious how he will react to your rumored marriage to King Alistair once the war is complete. For, trade, was it?" Liliana asked with a grin.

Uthreida looked at the three women before checking her tone. "Forgive me, but what is the point of this tedious conversation? If you're going to accuse me of something, say it."

Josephine giggled. "He's rubbing off on you."

Uthreida sighed. "I'm not half as smart as I pretend to be. Spell out your ultimatum."

Liliana leaned back, flicking her fingers on her thumb. "You're smarter than you give yourself credit for, Lady Uthreida. You also give yourself away far too much. The commander's lack of care when it comes to the Inquisitor's command makes him a valuable error that could have a detrimental effect to the people. The man needs a distraction to…allow oversight in his office." Uthreida arched a brow, pretending not to understand. "We all have questions, Miss Uthreida." Her voice was low as her eyes moved to Uthreida hands. "In his change in behavior."

Uthreida eyes went to the other two women who held the same predatory gaze as Liliana. "You want him weak?"

"The man is weak," Liliana stated with a scoff.

Uthreida arched a single brow at the spymaster. "That man is my husband, sister. To question his honor and abilities is to question mine. So why would I blind him to the inquisitor has a reason to publicly replace and ridicule?"

Liliana smiled. "Smarter than you look."

"And I'm doing this because-"Liliana smirked. "Idle threats then?"

She spun her teacup. "Why has the Captain who saw blood mages in everyone, who was so quick to denounce you, suddenly start to care?"

Uthreida clenched her jaw.

Josephine took a sip. "Could you imagine the embarrassment? The Captain who killed so many blood mages didn't even know his wife had enthralled him. The scandal."

Uthreida looked at Liliana with a threat. "I have endured two of your blood mage trials-"

Morrigan chuckled. "Your nativity is refreshing." She laughed again. "There's no such thing as a blood mage trial. It's a reminder of control or your death. There is no justice for mages who are foolish enough to run into the arms of a Templar."

Liliana smiled. "Do you honestly believe the Templars would allow a mage to marry one of their brothers? Or is that why he refuses to take the oath before the Maker? Templar living in sin is no way to lead."

All she could do was breathe. She could care less of their interpretations of her. But His honor was on the line. She popped her knuckles and leaned forward. "Make him weak, or be pitted as a blood mage. That the best you got? Come now, I slay dragons. You'll need something more. Because the second you out me, oh no, who's going to slay the evil dragon now? Someone who won't completely deprive your coffers." She laughed as she leaned back in her chair. "You want me to sleep with the commander? Done. He's not too bad on the eyes. Kind of reminds me of home a wee bit. So let's sweeten the pot. What else you got?"

Josephine sighed. "You don't understand. If you are outed as a blood mage, you cannot conduct trade with Ferelden."

"Like it matters. Even if the commander does genuinely enjoy my heathen bouncing you'll still out me as a blood mage because why else would a Templar fall for it? Even if you didn't play this card until after Corypheus is defeated, you will be scandalized for harboring a known blood mage until it was convenient for you."

"We have possible ties between you and Corypheus." Liliana stated lowly.

"With my sixty percent success rate, why haven't you used it yet? Why haven't you proved it yet? Obviously I'm too much of a burden. Or am I?" She looked at the three women with a smile. "You got nothing. And if the goal is to distract, sever my contract so he is 'distraught' again. Or play your part now." She looked at Liliana. "But let's cut the artery. Is the Commander too much of a big grumpy bear in the war room and you need him to smile more? So you turn to his wife who isn't fulfilling her obligatory duties? What's going on? What is this?" Liliana shot her an annoyed look. "I don't know your dead eye too well, you're going to have to spell it out."

Liliana leaned forward. "The Commander will be replaced. Make him more palatable in the meantime."

"Or?" She asked with crossed arms.

Liliana took a deep breath. "And."

Uthreida arched a brow at the concept. "Well, now you have my attention."

"Name your price."

She gave a wicked smile. This is getting dangerously close to Mephala. "One favor. From each of you. At a time of my choosing. No questions asked."

Morrigan and Josephine looked to Liliana for guidance with a look on their faces. Liliana held her chin up as she looked Uthreida over. "One favor. From me."

Uthreida considered it. Not knowing how she was going to use this. She needed leverage. "One favor, no questions, and, I get everything that was stolen when you cleared my quarters from my death to include my blue rock when my contract with the Inquisition is done."

Liliana leaned back. Tapping her fingers on the arm of her chair. "Done."

Uthreida smirked. "Tiid kio ul." she leaned back in her chair and looked at Liliana that looked around and noticed the effects of the slow time Thu'um. "What's really going on?" Liliana's emotionless mask slipped as she looked at Uthreida. Wider eyes than usual with her head pulled back slowly. "I've temporarily slowed time for this conversation. What's the real plan?"

Liliana swallowed back something and took a deep breath. "I'm starting to realize you're not just another mage."

"I'm also tired of hiding what I am. So get to the point."

She smirked. "I see your conversations with Dorian have been beneficial." Uthreida threw her head back and laughed lowly. Uthreida arched a brow at the spymaster. Liliana lowered a brow at her. "What's stopping you?" Uthreida arched a brow at the question. "What's stopping you from killing us?"

She smiled. "Your Inquisition has given me every reason to hate all of you. I have thought of every method of killing the entire hold and multiple escape plans as well as my ascension to power. Traveling over the land has given me reason to burn Thedas down and start over. And I have several plans on how to do just that. I know exactly how I want to kill Royoc. I know exactly how long of a rope I need to hang this hagraven. I know exactly the torture I will deliver Solas. But my hand is stayed. For now. Because I signed a contract. I have an oath. And more importantly, if you don't succeed, Skyrim doesn't receive trade." She leaned forward to the spymaster to make her sharp point. "And your continued hindrance will only bring your fall that much faster. So, what, exactly, are you planning?"

Liliana took a slow inhale as if calculating her chances of survival. "The Inquisitors a dangerous narcissist. Josephine and I are having growing difficulty controlling him."

"You feed a glutton and now you come to me? Using blackmailing methods that mean nothing to me, to lower my husband's stature even though his prestige reflects mine." Liliana took a breath but rolled her shoulders. Uthreida tilted her head, her eyes going to the sweet lady Josephine and the rumors of her relationship with Royoc. "Why do I get the feeling that Royocs and Josephine's relationship isn't exactly mutual? Or healthy. Or even wanted."

Liliana dropped her eyes. "It's not. She's providing the same service for Royoc as you will for Cullen." She took a deep breath and looked at her friend. "He bruises her. That's why she falsified the story of an arranged marriage." Liliana had a true look of guilt for her friend. "Pushing him back only drove him further into his madness. Halting progression of the war until she returns to him. And now, because of the war, for the people, she's trying to find an Ativan actor to pretend to be her betrothed. Of course, it doesn't make the matter easier that Royoc spent the better part of his squire years in Antiva and has heard of most of the houses and their problems." She took a deep breath of helplessness. "It's a mess. And I've never been more regretful to put her in this position. He intends to marry her for trade, military, and now naval capabilities with Ostwick while he dalliances with Dorian who is also trapped and severed of familial ties as nothing more than a whore. Going out of his way to ensure Dorian has nothing to go home to and forcing his stay with the Inquisition. But they can't speak of it because who would believe the Makers chosen would be so cruel."

Uthreida looked at the strong woman who was stirring her tea at an impossibly slow rate. This sweet and kind woman who Uthreida didn't realize until that moment she would never harm, was being abused and manipulated. As was her necromancer, imperial friend. Pranks aside, he is a good man and insightful. "Where I am from, the man is publicly shamed for raising a hand to his lover. I should cut off his hands and turn his tongue into a rope."

"Don't," Liliana said lowly. "It would just make him a martyr and force us to use the 'evidence' we have against you. Besides, Thedas needs one hand." She took a deep breath, looking at Josephine again. "Please don't tell her I told you that." She looked at Uthreida with tired eyes. "It would shame and embarrass her. And Dorian as well. Give them their peace while he is gone."

Uthreida looked at the spymaster. Knowing the hardship of wounded love, of a painful relationship. Hearing the stories of the shame and guilt of the women who weren't strong enough to stand against it. And a new fire hot reason to murder Royoc. And his one talent is becoming his only reason for survival.

Liliana cleared her throat. "He's using every scrap of resources to secure his position and ensure his legacy. Making sure no one can leave the Inquisition and no one can live without it. As well as fabrications in the event of betrayals. Do not think you are the only one I have to keep such records and tactics on. Cullen has yet to catch on because the Inquisitor doesn't know how to control him without his lyrium. But I do." She gave a slow smile at Uthreida.

She felt an emotional knife stab her in the lung. She took a deep breath to fight the pain of losing him. "And having me sleep with him-"

"I would never ask that if you."

"There is a natural progression and expectation-"

Her smile dropped from her face. "I just need you to distract. The man is ruthless and possessive when it comes to his quarry. What he did to Sam" she shook her head.

Uthreida clenched her fist when she thought of the worse thing Cullen could have done to the Hero of Ferelden. "What did he do?"

Liliana looked at her with rage. True hatred for the Commander. "The tower knew of his affections for her. She lived every day in fear. Knowing the second he made his affections or desire known, she would become a slave. Never to speak against him because he, as a Templar, would call her a liar. If she were ever to become pregnant, they would take the child. And if ever caught in the act, would call her a blood mage. Moral degradation of an upstanding Templar, I'm sure you understand. Leading to her death or tranquility."

Uthreida paused. He said he never acted on it. But she never thought of the reverse side. The looming fear of the Hero. "Using the same tactic against me now doesn't make you better than him or the system you fed."

Liliana nodded slowly. "I know. She would've been killed simply because he was in an authoritative position to make that call and hide his own sins." Liliana took a shaking breath, looking at Josephine who was slowly stirring her tea. "When we arrived at the tower, he was denied food and water and tortured for three days." She scoffed. There was a darkness that passed her eyes that made Uthreida realize what she had to endure. The darkness Liliana once lived in. Worse than he ever did. What can kill the pup, will only anger the wolf. "I pitied him. When we left, Sam told me who he was. What he did to her. He never touched her. He didn't have to. His mere presence alone afflicted fear. And I wanted to murder him myself. When I first heard the tale of the Champion, I had hoped he learned compassion of his charges. But he didn't." She shook her head in disgust at the man. "He chose indifference to their plight."

"And what does any of this have to do with the Inquisition, or, more importantly, me?" Uthreida growled.

Liliana blinked and took a calming breath. "I need Cullen to have the appearance of a distraction so I can move my men where the Inquisitor wants to send them to secure his position. But, I will ensure that Cullen is informed of what is actually going on."

"Why not have this conversation with him yourself?"

"The man couldn't keep a secret even if a sword was held to his throat. Cullen is too honorable for what Royoc is planning. And what he's planning disgusted Josephine and myself. Ergo, Royoc cannot see that Cullen knows what he's planning. And if Cullen's clever, he'll figure out what's going on. Royoc's done a decent job of keeping him back. So he'll speak to me directly. Or Josie who he appears more comfortable speaking to."

"Still not seeing what any of this has to do with me?"

"Royoc is starting to realize he can't control you, even though he needs you. In fact, he's afraid. But, it's becoming apparent that you can control Cullen. And Cullen is your weakness."

Her heart tightened subconsciously at the spymaster's observations and was quick to use it to her advantage. "This little plan of yours has already failed once." She tilted her head to Josephine. "What makes you so certain-"

Liliana smirked "You two put on a decent show of indifference, but I can see what's truly happening." Uthreida rolled her shoulders to the Spymaster. "The mutuality is genuine." Forcing the lie Uthreida kept telling herself to expunge her emotions for the man, but the allowance drew her closer. "If anything, I do find it adorable. As much as I hate the man, everyone deserves some happiness in their life. Cullen is also a prime example of a former Templar, breaking his chains of addiction, falling for a mage. Ending the cycle of hatred and retribution for the order and the mages. And through your guidance, given the battle enchanters' training, the story of you two can end the perpetual fear."

Uthreida arched a brow as she spoke of the subculture of the circle. "I'm confused. You want me to sleep with my husband, to make him distracted, so you will feed information to him to disrupt the actions of a man that cannot control either of us to curb Royocs destructive behavior to show that…Cullen cannot be contained? That makes no sense." Liliana leaned across the table with a knowing smirk. What was Uthreida missing? "And none of this has anything to do with you, Cassandra, and Vivienne pining for the sunlight throne?"

Liliana gave a knowing smile. Her blue eyes losing all life as she looked at Uthreida. "Sunburst throne. And yes. This has everything to do with my throne." Something in her smile made Uthreida feel like bait. She knew an official decree hadn't been made, but Liliana was certain. "All you need to know is that I need Royoc to think Cullen is distracted."

Uthreida could feel the effects of the Thu'um wearing off. Uthreida tilted her head at the woman, confused about the methods, but seeing the merit. "Same deal as before. Thank you for the vailed honesty."

Liliana nodded her head slowly.

The Thu'um wore off and Uthreida plastered a smiled like nothing happened. "Excellent. Shall we write this up, or" she waved a vague hand to Josephine, "your word versus mine. You know with the blood magic and questionable ties to Corypheus which you're not going to expose until my contract is severed anyways."

"We're good," Liliana stated with a blank stare.

"Lovely catching up." She shot back the tea and stood. "And, hey, if the Inquisitor wants to get rid of me any faster, I hear he has an entire battalion in Du Lion waiting on him. You know, after Redcliff for Cole and Varric. But, I won't complain. I should do some thigh exercises while I wait. Maybe practice my breathless moans." Uthreida walked away from the table. She mustered everything she could to not look over her shoulder to see their reaction. She moved, keeping her back to them as she smiled to herself. She was pretty sure this was going to be used against her, but all she could see was that she now had to embrace a relationship. The thought once filled her with a pooling heat, now made her question if she was worthy. Her failures in the field and inabilities to complete. She lowered her brows as she walked in thought. She wanted to, but was this really the time? She wanted to try and move forward and see what this brings, but with the accusations and ties, she carries. Was it fair to him? Knowing Liliana's sole purpose was the throne. And the thought of knowing this really was a bad idea to pursue. And how can she warp this into her favor?

She grunted back to the smithy to find Micha gone. On the table was Uthreida's lock, several broken picks. And a note.

Fuck you and your lock. Make me one.

Uthreida smiled, knowing she picked a great time to finish it. She wasted no time replacing the Ferelden lock core in her door and pocketing the key. She walked to the library and found Dorian sitting in his usual alcove with books stacked around him and pouting in concentration at the book in his hand. His ankle crossed over a knee.

She approached the mage and realized when she stood before, and he looked up, that she didn't know what to say. Dorian looked about, trying to figure out why she was there, not speaking, and he smiled. "Alright." He cleared his throat after the slow awkward seconds and lifted the book again.

Uthreida took the final step and she smirked. Her face was expressionless as she looked at him. Sympathizing for the cage that he was in. She held a hand out to him. He looked at it, then her slowly with a comical look of skepticism of her actions. He watched her. Searching her for an ulterior motive. Her jaw clenched. She couldn't say. Not out loud. She couldn't tell him she knew. That Liliana told her. He's trapped with nowhere to run.

He closed the book quietly and rested his head on a hand. Resting languid in the chair. "What are you doing, dear?" A small smirk pulling his mustache into an odd line.

She felt her brow furrow as she looked at him. Her hand still extended to him. His smile slowly fell as he looked her over. He pulled himself to sit up straighter at her presence. His shoulders dropped and his chain raised. She rotated her hand so her palm faced up. Inviting him. He watched her movements with a passing fascination of her actions. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. His own jaw clenched as he took a cooling breath. "What is this?" He hissed above a whisper, a guarded expression in his eyes.

She shook her hand, asking him to take it. He tiled his head, looking at her. With a brow of curiosity, he held his hand out slowly to take it. Uthreida curled her fingers around his and gently pulled him to stand. He moved slowly, still uncertain of her motives. She took the final step to him, moving so he saw, as he held her arms wide and hugged him from the middle.

Dorian stood there awkwardly with his arms held out around her and chuckled. "Is this a weird, Nordic thing?"

"Are you alright?" she whispered into his chest.

He huffed the joke and patted her shoulder. "I'm fine." He waived off.

Her fist tightened around his back through his leathers to ensure he felt her grip. His body stiffed even as he didn't move. "Are you alright?" She heard his heart rate rise and felt him move to look at her. She pulled away to meet his dark eyes. All she could feel was the blood lust for Royoc. Wanting the inquisitor's warm blood on her hands and in her throat. She didn't register what expression she held as he looked down at her. She saw his initial caution, followed by a followed by chin waiver and an adverted gaze. He sniffed softly. His hand moving to the corner of his eye to not to smudge his khol. She pulled back slightly so her hands were on his arms. "What do you need?" she whispered quietly in the library.

The Tevinter smiled quickly and took a step away from her. Holding her hands loosely between them. "I don't know what you think you've heard, but-" His political indifferent facade melting as he looked at her determined expression. He gave a heavy sigh. "I don't want to be in your debt, Utha."

"Gift."

"That I will be indebted to gift back." He pointed out a flippant wave between them.

"A favor for a favor. No questions. Name it."

He smirked in the way he does when he discovers something interesting that required proper dissection. "Little suspicious, but alright."

"Send me the bill."

She took the final step back and let their hands drop to their sides. Dorian crossed his arms, his fingers straightening his mustache as he reviewed her form. "Why?"

"No questions. Get to safety."

He squinted at her with the same smirk. "Why?"

She looked him over. In truth, she had no idea what he was feeling or how he perceived it. But also knew he would be too proud to admit that he was the Inquisitor's plaything. A slave in all but name. She wanted to help but didn't know how. And said the only thing that seemed to make sense. "Because you are not alone."

"Judging from our hushed tones, this is meant to be a secret then?"

"Do you wish to make it public?"

"I'" he sighed. "No." his eyes dropping from her.

"See that it's done."

"After," he paused to look about the room and smiled. "After Corypheus."

"Then I suggest you send me the bill before."

"Word of caution." He winked as he leaned into her. "The next time we do this, smile a bit more. It confuses the agents who are watching us. So smile." She gave a pained and comical smile that made him chuckle. He leaned back and looked at her with the same smirk. "Who told you?"

She gave an honest smile. "This is the Inquisition, Dorian. The breeding ground for all lies."

---

AN: Excuse me, I have to go get the kettle for the tea.