A/N: Yeah. So I'm bad at titles and summaries... ah well. The new stuff starts after this, because this chapter can be found in my other Snily fic, "Always". ANYWHO, enjoy?

I poked at my dinner absently, more interested in the wood grain on the table than the conversation going on around me.

"Lily?" I jerked out of my stupor and looked up at my mum. It was no surprise that she looked genuinely concerned. "Are you sure you're feeling alright? You haven't eaten anything."

"Ah – not hungry," I lied. Well, not a total lie. I hadn't been hungry – I hadn't been anything – since I got back from my fifth year.

"I know what's wrong," Petunia sneered. I looked at my sister and I could see cruel relish in her eyes. "I bet that boyfriend of yours broke up with you. That's why you've been so sad."

"Boyfriend?" Mum and I spoke at the same time – her tone was surprised and curious, and mine was defensive. "You mean Severus?"

"No!" I cried, sounding scandalized, trying to ignore the stinging in my eyes. "We were never going out!"

"But he did break up with you, didn't he? As a friend." It was clear from Petunia's tone that she was thoroughly enjoying tormenting me. "That's what happened, is that you've stopped being friends. I bet he hates you."

I jumped to my feet, knocking my chair over. I couldn't even think of anything to say as a retort; I turned on my heel and left. I ran up the stairs and into my bedroom, and threw myself onto my bed just as I burst into tears.

Nobody in my family knew what had happened between Sev and I after our OWLs. I intended to keep it that way – they wouldn't understand, anyway. It hadn't been very easy, considering every time I thought about Sev – which was a lot – it was like a knife in my heart. And now I knew that the jig was up, that I had to actually talk about what had happened… there were footsteps on the stairs, and then a knock on my door.

"Lily?" a voice asked tentatively, and I knew it was mum. I didn't reply, just buried my face deeper in my pillow. My floor creaked and the bed sagged on my side, and for a long time I lay there and cried while mum rubbed my back.

I sat up and took a deep breath, and then I told her everything – Sev getting himself into the Death Eaters, James constantly taunting Sev and asking me out, Sev calling me a Mudblood. When I was finished, mum said nothing, just hugged me close for a long time, rocking me back and forth the way she did when I was younger.

Half an hour later, we were still sitting there. And suddenly: "Lily!" a voice called from outside – a horribly familiar voice, one I had been aching to hear but was too afraid of what it would bring. I tensed in mum's arms and waited. "Lily, please…"

I ran to the window despite mum's protests and threw up the sash, intending to give Severus Snape the verbal lashing of a lifetime, but in the light pouring from my window I watched as he croaked my name one last time and slumped onto the lawn.

I made a choked noise. "Lily, what's wrong?" mum asked, but by then I was already halfway across my room. I could hear her footsteps behind me as I tore down the stairs and out into the warm July evening.

I dropped to my knees beside where Severus was sprawled in the grass, pulling him onto my lap and cradling his head in my hands. "Oh god, Sev, please be okay," I said, tears pouring down my cheeks. His face was bruised and bloodied, his arm lay at an unnatural angle and his breathing was shallow and labored. I could feel my heart wrench in my chest. "Sev, please…" A minute ago I had felt nothing but hatred and sorrow when I thought of the boy I held, but now I realized that all I cared about was him being okay. Nothing else mattered.

His eyelids flickered and I saw his lips move to form words. "Lily… I'm sorry…"

I barely held back a sob. "I know you are, Sev, just hold on…" I turned to mum, who stood just behind me. "Help him, please," I begged.

"We'll have to carry him inside," mum said, the worry in her eyes betraying her in-control tone. "But we'll have to be quick about it… I'm afraid if we move him too much it'll only hurt him worse."

As quickly and carefully as we could, we supported Sev between us and carried him up to my bedroom. I could tell he was in pain, but he tried not to show it. Still, I could hear him biting back his protests, his face screwed up in concentration. He barely relaxed when we set him on my bed, though his face was covered in a sheen of sweat.

"Oh god, Sev, what happened to you?" I cried, grabbing his hand.

"Tobias… and mum… fighting, and I… then he… beat…" Sev shuddered and fell silent. I turned to mum again, desperate.

"Mum…"

"His arm is definitely broken, and I'd guess that his ribs are bruised at the very least…"

"I can fix his arm!" I said excitedly, already reaching for my wand on my bedside table. "I've seen Madame Pomfrey do it loads of times, she's showed me how…"

"I thought you couldn't use magic outside of school if you're under seventeen," mum pointed out, clearly puzzled. I paused for a moment, looking down at Sev. His eyelids were flickering like he was having a terrible nightmare, and over and over I could hear him whispering my name. He had to have been in a terrible amount of pain.

"That's the least of my worries right now, mum," I said quietly.

"I'll go and get a wash cloth for his face," she announced, standing up. "At least that way you didn't do the magic in front of a Muggle." I watched her go, doubting it would make any difference, but I grabbed my wand anyway and sat on the bed beside Sev, still gripping his clammy hand.

"I'm sorry if this hurts, Sev," I whispered, and cast the spell. For a moment Sev's face twisted in agony as the bones in his arm knitted, and then he relaxed a considerable amount, almost sighing in relief. I wiped the tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand.

"Thank you," Sev breathed after a moment; apparently without the pain he was able to come back to his senses. I brushed his black hair off of his face, smiling weakly. Mum returned with a damp dishtowel, and after a moment she passed it to me.

"I'm going to go get dinner cleaned up," she said, and I realized that this was her way of giving Sev and I a moment to talk. I gave her a grateful look and watched that she closed the door behind her before I turned back to Sev, gently wiping the sticky blood from his face. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time, but I just avoided meeting his gaze. I couldn't figure out why.

"I'm sorry. So sorry," he said quietly. I sighed, putting the cloth down and looking away, out my window.

"I know you are, Sev."

"Please, Lily, forgive me…"

I took a deep breath, barely holding back a fresh onslaught of tears. "Sev, I -"

"Look at me." The desperation and sadness in his voice finally made my eyes find his. And there he was – not the fifteen year old boy with a blooming black eye and such a heavy heart, but the nine year old I had met all those years ago at the playground… the nine year old boy that I had somehow almost come to love, until he called me a…

"I've hated myself more and more every second since I called you what I did. I wasn't myself, I swear, Potter… he humiliated me in front of you, and then you –"

"I what?"

"You smiled. He taunted me and you smiled, and that hurt worse than anything else Potter could have done to me," Sev said in a tiny voice. "And I was mad at you and wanted you to hurt as much as I did. And I'm a horrible person for it."

"No you aren't…. and I'm genuinely sorry for smiling, Sev," I said softly, but then I remembered what I meant to say in the first place and a tiny bit of anger leaked back into my brain. "But you call everyone like me a mudblood. I want to forgive you more than anything, but how can I when you're just going to go on being a Death Eater wannabe, standing for everything that goes against me?"

"I swear to you, I wouldn't dream of it," he said seriously, and he took both my hands in his as he sat up. "I'm never talking to that lot again. I'll cut my hair and be civil to the Marauders and I'll even come to Quidditch games if that's what you want. I'll do anything, Lily… I can't lose you."

The only question that came to mind was, "Why?"

Sev took a deep breath. "Because I love you. Because you're the only person I'll ever love, and I'm not letting you go without a fight."

There was a long, heavy silence. "I'm not going anywhere, Sev," I finally said, my voice quite a bit lower than usual. Sure, Sev fancied me – everyone knew that – but I had never guessed he loved me. Frankly I had never thought myself particularly loveable, even if everyone told me otherwise. "But you have to stop with this Death Eater nonsense."

"Done," Sev said instantly.

"Oh… and don't you dare cut your hair," I said, giving him a shy smile and reaching out to comb my fingers through his black tresses. Sev beamed. The sight of my best friend's smile – hell, even just calling him my best friend again – made a rush of happiness spread through me, and without thinking about it I leaned forward and kissed him.

Sev was the one to pull away after a few seconds. I didn't blame him – I was just as shocked at what I had done. "Lily?" he asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry, I was being stupid, never mind…" I stammered, turning pink, but Sev sat up farther and kissed me back. I felt a wonderful surge of affection for him. For the first time I noticed how intoxicating his scent was, how wonderful his long fingers felt in my hair… and besides, Lily, what could be better than falling for your best friend? You're already closer than close, this is just… an upgrade.

Our lips stayed locked together for a good deal longer than last time, and when we finally broke apart I tried to hide how breathless I was. We stared at each other for a moment before the corners of Sev's mouth twitched, and a bubble of sound rose in my chest. A second later we were both giggling like little kids; I was collapsed across Sev's legs and he was leaning against the headboard.

"Well it's certainly nice to find you in better condition than before," mum said as she walked through the door, carrying a tray of food. I sat up, sobering, and mum placed the tray across Sev's lap. "You could both use a decent meal, eat up," she ordered. "Oh, and while you're eating, Severus… would you object to telling us what happened to you tonight?"

Sev swallowed and I could see his eyes fill with fear. I took his hand and squeezed it. He sighed. "My mum and Tobias fight. All the time," Sev said quietly. "Tobias is a drunk, and he's a violent drunk at that. Mum's terrified of him, I know it, I don't know why she keeps him around… but sometimes I get caught up in the fight when I'm trying to protect mum, and Tobias…" Sev shuddered violently and I squeezed his hand again, horrified of what I was hearing. When he spoke again Sev was barely whispering.

"Well, tonight they were fighting and I got in the way, and Tobias… he pushed me into the counter, that's why my ribs hurt… and he punched me in the eye and when I pulled out my wand to try to stop him he broke my arm. I thought I was going to throw up, it hurt so bad… I would have if I had eaten more than some dry bread and old cheese since I got home." Sev chuckled darkly, and now I was crying silently again. "And mum made him leave like she always does, and he went along happily enough… probably tired himself out, went back to some pub… and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to fix things with you, no matter what it took, because so long as I was with you I could pretend that I didn't hurt. So I came stumbling over, this cut over my eyebrow half-blinding me with blood, and…" he trailed off, his eyes searching my face.

"You can't go back there," I said, my voice cracking. "Please don't, Sev."

"But he can't stay here. I'm not his mother, it wouldn't be legal…" mum argued. "I want Severus to stay, believe me I do, but…"

"Mum threw me out," Sev said suddenly, and now his eyes were swimming with tears. "She said it was my fault Tobias and her fought in the first place, and that's the main reason I came here. She said I could come back for my things but…" Sev trailed off.

"You can't be serious," I said, stunned. Sev didn't say anything, but I knew he was telling the truth when he sniffled once. "Oh, Severus!" I wailed, throwing my arms around him and hugging him as tightly as I dared without hurting his ribs.

"If that truly is the case, Severus, we'd be more than willing to let you stay here," mum said carefully. "But only if you wish it."

"I don't want to impose," Sev said quickly. I hiccupped and stared at him.

"This isn't the time to be modest, Sev, your own mum threw you out…"

"I know," Sev said, and I could see the hurt in his eyes and shut my mouth. "Thank you, Mrs. Evans," he said sincerely, turning back to mum.

Mum smiled sadly. "Eat, and then get some rest, we can talk about this later," she said, and left the room.

Sev and I ate in relative silence. When the plates were empty I carried the tray over to my desk and crawled up onto the bed to sit beside Sev. "Looks like we got lucky… no ministry owls," I pointed out.

"Don't go jinxing it," Sev said, smirking, but we fell into silence once again.

"Sev."

"Lily."

"What are we?" I asked worriedly. "Best friends?"

"Of course we are, we promised to be best friends forever years ago," Sev reminded me, and then something dawned in the back of his eyes. "Oh."

"Oh," I repeated. Sev let out his breath in a patient sigh.

"I love you, Lily," he said again, and I felt my stomach clench, "but I can tell you don't love me."

"Yet," I countered, and when Sev seemed thrown I continued, "You know, I had intended to tell you after our OWLs… you felt like more than a friend to me, Sev, and I meant to ask if you felt the same way. But I never got the chance, and so I'm telling you now – I think that I fancy you at the very least, but I could love you easily."

"I'll wait," Sev said seriously. "I'll wait as long as it will take, Lily, if it's a week or a decade." I smiled.

"You're an amazing person, you know that?"

Sev grinned and moved towards me, but paused. "May I?" he asked. I laughed.

"Please do," I said with a smirk, and kissed him again.

"Jesus Christ, Lily!"

My eyes flew open and my brain raced to make sense of what I was seeing. Alice Prewett was standing in my doorway, looking shocked. Beside her stood Mary Macdonald, and behind both of them were the Marauders. James swore loudly. It didn't take long to realize what had them so upset – after staying up most of the night talking and laughing and occasionally snogging, Sev and I had fallen asleep together, in each other's arms, under the covers of my bed.

I recoiled from him instantly. Sev woke up with a start, blearily mumbling something about Gryffindors in his common room.

"What the hell are you all doing in my bedroom?" I demanded, angrier at the situation then at them.

"What the hell are you doing in bed with Snivellus?" Sirius retorted.

"You invited all of us over today, remember?" Alice said gently, though she still looked alarmed. "We were going to go to Diagon Alley to get your mind off things… though it looks as though you've solved that problem on your own."

I sighed, pulling the covers off and swinging my legs over the side of my bed. "First of all, look. Fully dressed." I gave them a reproving look. "Second of all, I invited Alice and Mary and Remus, I don't know how the rest of you fit in. Third and most important, when did the meeting place become my bedroom?"

"When we came to the door and your sister said to go right up," Mary said, and I scowled. Typical Petunia. "I invited James along as well, and if you invite one Marauder you invite them all, I guess."

"Why did you invite James?" I asked, and I stared at her, trying to tell her with my eyes that he was the last person I wanted to spend the day with.

"Well I figure it would help!" she said, and I fought the urge to growl. "After all, you do fancy him, don't you?"

"What?" three voices chorused. James suddenly looked hopeful and cocky, Sev had finally come to his senses and looked outraged, and I expected my expression mirrored his.

"Do you really?" James asked excitedly.

"What the hell is going on?" Sev demanded.

"Stop!" I said loudly, and the room fell silent. "Look, you guys, could you just… wait in the living room or something? Make mum get you all a snack or something. I just need twenty minutes and we can go," I said tiredly. Alice nodded and shooed the others out of the room. It wasn't until she was the last one there that she gave me a tiny smile, darting out of the room and closing the door before the pillow I threw could hit her.

Sev and I sat there for a moment. "What's going on?" Sev asked again.

"I… Alice and Mary knew how cut up I was after… after our OWLs… and they said that they were going to take me to Diagon Alley for a girl's day. We invited Remus, mostly because he felt terrible for what James and Sirius did and he wanted to make it up to me. And you heard what Mary said about James…"

"And is what Mary said about James true?" Sev said, and I shifted so that I could see him. He looked guarded and wary. I sighed, there was no use in lying.

"He's funny and he's handsome and he's charming, in his weird sort of way," I admitted, and watched Sev tense up. "But he's also an ass, and he's cocky and a jerk and a bully. You're my best friend. You're handsome, and funny and charming, and smart and obviously you're a fighter… and you're a damn good kisser, might I add," I said with a sly smile. "Potter doesn't measure up to you, Sev."

"But you do fancy him," Sev said flatly.

I got to my feet to get dressed. "But I fancy you more. It's like looking at the Cannons and Ireland – you've got a soft spot for the Cannons, but you know they're hopeless and that you'll never in a million years love them more than Ireland."

Sev frowned. "You know I don't get Quidditch."

I grinned. "And I'm the muggle born… Pumpkin Pasties and Bertie Botts then," I offered, and Sev smirked, getting up with a tiny groan and massaging his ribs.

"Am I allowed to tag along to Diagon Alley then?" Sev asked, and I paused in the middle of rifling through my closet. I gave him a funny look.

"So you're asking if you're allowed to come to Diagon Alley… and be social… in the same group as the boys who make your life hell?" I asked slowly, not daring to believe it.

"I'm asking if I'm allowed to come to Diagon Alley and be social with the girl I love, knowing that I'd sooner take Potter and Black with you rather than your sister alone."

I beamed at him before disappearing into the bathroom to change. When I returned Sev was still standing by my bed, wearing the slightly-too-big jeans and collared shirt he had shown up in. They were wrinkled from sleeping and his shirt had a good amount of dried blood on it. I frowned at him.

"I could either risk using more magic, or you could wear some of my dad's things," I said.

"Or you could go ahead. I'll go by Spinners End and grab everything I need and meet you at the Leaky Cauldron," Sev suggested.

"I don't want you to go back there alone," I muttered. "What if your dad's there?" Sev's eyebrows knitted together – clearly he hadn't thought about that. "Come on, at least a shirt." Sev nodded and I ran into my parents' room, grabbing a button-up shirt and bringing it back to Sev.

As I put on a pair of earrings I couldn't help watching Sev get dressed in the mirror. I tried to hide the tiny gasp I gave when I saw his abs. He caught my eye and chuckled. "You know, being hung upside down at least once a week and running from toe rags every day has its advantages."

I gave him an incredulous look and walked back over just as he did up the buttons of the shirt. "It looks good on you," I commented absently, putting my arms around his neck.

"Do you figure it's safe to say you're my girlfriend?" Sev asked softly, and my breath caught in my throat.

"They already think we've shagged, Sev, I sincerely doubt we'll be able to convince them we're anything less than dating," I said, unable to keep the mischievous glint out of my eyes. "I wouldn't want to try, anyway."

Sev pressed his lips against mine but only for a moment. "Neither would I," he agreed, taking my hand. "Come on then, let the day of hell begin."

"At least be civil," I told him, leading him out the door and down the stairs.

"I will if they will," Sev replied.

"Good enough."

The others were all sitting in the living room, looking distinctly awkward. Sev sat on the couch beside Remus and I perched on the armrest, trying to act like the bedroom incident had never happened. "So how are we all getting to Diagon Alley, might I ask? Our fireplace isn't connected to the Floo, and none of us can Apparate."

"Oh, my mum is outside, she was going to drive us to my house twenty minutes away and we were going to Floo from there," Alice said, standing up. The others all moved towards the door, and I quickly wrote a note to mum telling her where I was before leaving.

To my surprise, Sev and Remus were talking intently as they made their way to a station wagon in our driveway, leaving me with Alice. "So what happened, anyway?" she asked, and I sighed.

"Nothing," I said firmly. "Well, almost nothing. I can't tell you everything, Sev would only be mad if I did. My point is, Sev's been forgiven, but not in the way you think he's been."

"But you were -"

"I know," I said quickly, lowering my voice as we grew closer to the car. "But we didn't."

"Did you snog though?" she pressed, and I could see an amused sparkle in her brown eyes. I gave her a tiny nod, biting back a shy smile, and she suppressed a squeal as we climbed into the magically-expanded car. It was something like a limo inside – two long bench seats faced each other. Three of the Marauders plus Mary were talking on one of them, and Alice and I sat next to Remus and Sev. Without breaking his conversation with the sandy-haired boy, Sev slid his hand into mine again. I squeezed it.

Something had changed inside Sev, that much I knew. Everyone knew it. Why else would he be talking to Remus and Alice and Mary, or not sneering and scowling at the Marauders, or even just smiling and laughing?

"Are you sure you're Severus Snape?" Mary demanded at Florean Fortiscue's ice cream parlour. The others watched Sev intently; clearly they had been wondering the same thing.

"Positive," he replied, taking another mouthful of the ice cream the two of us were sharing.

"But you're so… happy."

Sev smirked. "Indeed I am, Macdonald." I beamed at him and I knew that the others all looked bewildered.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I heard Sirius whisper.

The rest of the day passed in a whirlwind as we looked in almost every shop on the alley. Before I knew it I was falling onto the couch in the living room beside Sev and the others. Mum was making dinner for all eight of us, and both girls were spending the night – Sev had promised to stay out of the way and confine himself to the guest room. I had never known it was possible to be as shocked and surprised by a person as I was at the sullen Slytherin.

Everyone left around seven, Mary and Alice going to get a bag for overnight. As soon as the door closed behind the last person, I whirled on Sev, gaping.

"What did I do?" he asked.

"Everything!" I cried, throwing my arms around him. "What happened to the moody, anti-social Sev?"

"He died the second you kissed me," Sev said into my hair. I hugged him for a moment longer before leaning back.

"I'm sorry to put a damper on your good mood, Sev, but what are you going to do about your stuff?" I asked. A crease appeared between his eyebrows.

"I have to go get it some time," he said eventually. "I'll go over there tonight."

"Not alone, you aren't." Sev and I both turned to see mum standing in the doorway. "I'll drive you over and help."

"Mrs. Evans, I appreciate it but I don't want you near my parents," Sev said uncomfortably. "I don't know what kind of state they'll be in when I go…"

"All the more reason for you not to go alone," mum said crisply. "Severus, it'll be fine," she added, softer. Sev stared at her for a moment before swallowing and nodding.

"Whenever you're ready then, Mrs. Evans."

"Don't call me that, it sounds too proper. Call me Violet," mum said, already moving to get her car keys.

"Okay then… Violet."

I gave a tight hug and a quick kiss. "Good luck."

Sev nodded, his mouth a thin line, and followed my mum out the door just as Alice and Mary came striding in. "Where's Snape going?" Mary asked curiously once the door had closed. I frowned at the use of his last name, watching the car pull out of the drive.

"Spinner's End. He's just got to get his trunk and things."

"Why?" Alice inquired.

"He'd only be mad if I told you," I replied. Both girls looked a little confused. I bit back a sigh and put on a happy face. "Doesn't matter. Come on; let's go up to my room."

I heard the front door open and close half an hour later, and seconds later footsteps were stomping past my bedroom door. The guest room door slammed, and I could hear my mother swear once in the foyer. My heart sank as I looked at the other girls.

"What's wrong with Severus, Lil?" Alice asked quietly. I opened my mouth and closed it, wanting nothing more than to run into the guest room.

"He's going to hate me for telling you," I whispered. "And you can't tell anyone, because if you do I'm going to hex you into the next century. But Sev's mum might have kicked him out of the house."

"You're kidding!" Mary cried, and both Alice and I shushed her.

"No, I'm not. He's staying here, I suppose, and you're to pretend that you don't know a thing. Or else," I said fiercely. They nodded mutely.

After a moment, Alice spoke. "Go on, Lily, I can tell you're aching to go see him."

"No, Sev…" I trailed off, unable to think of a single argument. "I'll be back, I swear to Merlin."

"We're fine, go!" Mary insisted, and gratefully I scrabbled to my feet and left.

I could hear mum in the kitchen. When she was mad, she baked, and judging by the racket she was making she was furious. My spirits dampening every second, I knocked timidly on the guest room door at the end of the hall. "Sev?" I called. There was no reply. "Come on, Sev, open up."

The door flew open, a hand grabbed my arm and the door closed behind me. I blinked, trying to make my eyes adjust to the sudden gloom. Sev was standing there, not even bothering to hide how anguished he looked. "Oh god, Sev, what happened?" I asked sadly, reaching for one of his hands. He jerked away and strode over to sit on the bed.

"Tobias was cheating on her. He was cheating on her with some slag, and they're getting a divorce." Sev's voice was edgy; he was obviously trying very hard not to cry. I sat next to him on the bed, putting my arms around him. "And mum… god, Lily, her face…" He drew a deep, shuddering breath. "She was worse off than I was." A single tear rolled down his cheek, and I kissed it away. "That's not even the worst part though," Sev said, laughing darkly. "She said she wanted to disown me. Said I was the worst thing that ever happened to her. Of course, your mum flew into a rage, it was really quite terrifying."

"Sev," I whispered, because I wasn't sure what else to say.

After a few minutes, Sev sighed. "You know what, never mind. I'm well rid of that place, it was hell. And now I get to stay here, with my best-friend-and-then-some, for the foreseeable future – no matter what it does to my pride – so I figure it's a pretty decent trade-off."

I knew that his heart wasn't fully into what he was saying, but I smiled at him all the same.

"Now go, you've got friends to entertain," Sev said briskly, pushing me away with a smirk. I only paused for a moment, kissing him softly.

"It'll be alright," I said quietly.

"I know full well it will be, now go!" Sev laughed. I grinned at him before turning away and returning to my bedroom.

Meow. The new stuff starts in the next chapter. And I'd be your best friend if you'd click that tiny little review button down there... you know the one.