Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any related subtitles and do not
have the permission, guarantee, or support of Warner Brothers or J. K.
Rowling due to the fact that I do not have enough money to even print this
out my computer due to the fact that I have no paper due to the fact that
I'm writing scary stories on fanfic. I do not own fanfic!
(A/N- This story is a remix of the original story Dates, Fairy Tales and Catfights. I liked this title better, and I didn't like the direction it was going, so I loosely used the plot of that one. DO NOT READ IT! Lol. It is only 1 chapter long. But this will be better. Also, I like to name the chapters random things. You will notice they have nothing to do with the chapter. If you have a problem with that don't read this. Also, Please do not submit constant flames. If you don't like the story, don't read it. I luv reviews though, and I don't know what direction this story is going to go in, so everyone is welcome to make suggestions! But here's a hint: Matrix fighting, rotting cake, and a reunion! This story is meant to be totally stupid, but still well written. I doubt that this is seriously how the story was meant to go, and if any of those diehard J. K. Rowling fans want me to write a realistic story, be warned that this is not it. but I'm thinking of writing one! Thanks!)
Chapter One: Bubble Gum Faeries
The sun's rays lightly brushed the lake's surface. The lake's depth was beyond all reasoning and the dark murky waters were still in the afternoon breeze. All was calm.
!SPLASH!
"Hel....he....help gasp! I...can gurgle can't gurgle Swi... spat gurgle," cried a voice.
"Did you hear something?" asked Harry, as he demolished another of Ron's pawns.
"Hear what? What did you hear? Are you hearing voices again?" whimpered Ron as he jumped up, knocking over their game. "Are you? Who is it? What do they want? Are they after you? Or Hermione? Or me? Or Dumble..."
"No, Ron, calm down. I'm not hearing voices inside my head. It sounded like it came from outside," said Harry, cutting off Ron. "Really," he thought, "ever since Sirius died Ron's been acting like the world is going to fall down on him."
Ron inched over to the window, and ever so slightly, peeked out. Harry walked over and looked out also. Neither boy saw anything, so they walked back to the chess table and began resetting the board, when Hermione walked down.
"Good Morning. Our first class is Charms. By the way, did either of you hear anything a few moments ago?" asked Hermione, as she prepared for her first class.
"Oh My God," yelled Ron, "now She's hearing voices. We're all going nuts. And we're gon....gonna end up in St. Mungo's"
"Calm down," shouted Hermione and Harry in unison.
Hermione sat on the Hogwarts steps with a letter in her hand, and tear drops slowly rolling down her face "Why does this stuff always happen to me," she sobbed. "Harry and Ron are off saving the world and I'm here, being dumped by my boyfriend. Oh, look, here comes the doubtless duo. Better put on a good face."
"Hey Hermione," said Harry and Ron in unison.
"Hey!"
"Have you been crying?" asked Harry.
"No, why do you ask?"
"Well, your shirt...," said Harry and he pointed to her wet collar.
"You must have heard then," said Ron solemnly.
"Oh, yes," said Hermione, making a clean escape. "Isn't it horrible!"
"I'll miss him," said Harry.
"Me, too," said Ron, looking at the ground.
"Umm...so," said Hermione, and then saying the only thing she could think of, "How is Neville taking it?"
"Hermione!" said Ron, but Harry looked dumbstruck.
"What? I..."
"Didn't you hear?", whispered Ron, while Harry gaped at her. "Neville's dead. He drowned in the lake."
"Oh my!!!" shrieked Hermione.
"Well, didn't you know? Isn't that why you were crying," said Harry finally. "By the sound of it... hey, what's with the letter?"
Harry grabbed the letter out of her hand, scanned it, and then started to laugh.
"Your...your....your laughing," sobbed Hermione as she started to cry. "But...but..."
Harry showed the letter to Ron, in which Ron read it, and fell over in a peal of laughter. Both boys rolled on the grass until they were covered in it, got up, and then fell down again.
"It's not funny, but what about Neville?" said Hermione.
And so, Harry and Ron told her about Neville, but as sad as she was, she couldn't stop thinking about the fact that she didn't have a boyfriend. That queasy feeling you get when someone says they've dumped you for a Veela was setting in. (A/N- We all know how that feels) and that night when she went to bed she thought, "I'll get a boyfriend, even if I have to date Harry."
The next day she picked out her first victim. Ron was easy. He was so nervous all the time, maybe he wouldn't even notice. Besides, Hermione liked Ron. He had always been a good friend. Besides, being caught by Cho, without a date was worse then having to sit and listen to Ron talk about the broom he just saw. But there was still that nagging problem of Harry. If only she could get him away from Harry.
So, she told Harry that Lupin wanted to see him that night.
"He wants to see me," Harry asked,"Why?"
"Oh, I don't know," she replied.
"So where do we meet?"
"In the broom closet"
"WHAT!?" Harry replied.
"It's secret. Top secret," whispered Hermione.
So, that night Harry walked to the broom closet, and Hermione pushed him in. Of course, he didn't see her. She was too smart to get caught. Then she replayed the tape recording of Malfoy's voice she'd recorded earlier that day.
"POTTER...got you again,' said "Malfoy".
She snuck up to the boy's dormitories.
"Ron," she said in her most helpless voice, "I can't get to sleep. Can you help?"
"Sure, sit down."
Hermione sat on his bed. Ron took a deep breath and said," Ok, where do you want me to start?"
"Where ever," she said.
"OK then," Ron paused. He was just sitting there.
"Well, hurry up," said Hermione, getting a bit impatient, "I haven't got ALL night."
"Well, there was once this magical princess in a pretty pink dress. It was very pretty and very pink, my two favorite things. So anyway, she lived in this old city and one day this man in a hooded cloak came and..."
Hermione cut him off. "What are you doing?"
"Well, I'm telling you stories," he said, "So let me finish!"
For the rest of the night, Ron told Hermione stories. Some were about dragons and some were about cats, but no matter what, Hermione didn't fall asleep, and Ron didn't know why. Hermione listened to stories until 3 o'clock, and then she happily said she was tired, and went to bed. Hermione groggily walked down to breakfast, and sat down next to Ron.
"Last night was fun, wasn't it? Lets do it again sometime!," he said.
"Errr....but then it won't be as special. Let's keep it on a once a year basis," said Hermione with haste.
"What are you talking about?" said Harry, not really wanting to know. What were they doing? Besides, he was so mad at Malfoy for tricking him, he was ready to play an equally sweet trick right back. He was in that closet for 5 hours. He still didn't understand how Malfoy had gotten Hermione to believe Lupin really wanted to talk to him.
"This is my chance," Hermione thought. "Oh, nothing," she said out loud. "So Harry, are you and Cho going out still?"
"Yup! We just got back together. she realized that you and I weren't going out last year, and it was just that I need to give that interview with Rita. We just won't spend any time at Madame Pudifoot's."
"Perfect," mumbled Hermione sarcastically.
"Hmmm?," said Harry, "I missed that."
"Ummm...perfect. I said perfect, because you two look so...um...good....um...together."
"Oh," said Harry, " 'Cause I though you might be mad or somethin'." You and her never really got along. and I would have broken up with her if you minded. Really. I still will," he said with a hint of hope in his voice. He didn't really want to go out with her. she was snobby and a human hose. Honesty!
"Oh, I'm not mad at all. Actually, I'm happy."
Hermione then thought, "Well, Neville's dead, Ron's...well....Ron's just too Ron. That leaves Harry, Dean,and Malfoy, and though I'm desperate, I'm going to save that one for a LAST RESORT. Oh, but Dean's going out with Lavender. Well, I'll just have to deal with Cho, because Malfoy is just sick. Oh, this is going to be a long week. But maybe I could get Cho with something she never expected. Lime Green Hair Dye!!!
(A/N- This story is a remix of the original story Dates, Fairy Tales and Catfights. I liked this title better, and I didn't like the direction it was going, so I loosely used the plot of that one. DO NOT READ IT! Lol. It is only 1 chapter long. But this will be better. Also, I like to name the chapters random things. You will notice they have nothing to do with the chapter. If you have a problem with that don't read this. Also, Please do not submit constant flames. If you don't like the story, don't read it. I luv reviews though, and I don't know what direction this story is going to go in, so everyone is welcome to make suggestions! But here's a hint: Matrix fighting, rotting cake, and a reunion! This story is meant to be totally stupid, but still well written. I doubt that this is seriously how the story was meant to go, and if any of those diehard J. K. Rowling fans want me to write a realistic story, be warned that this is not it. but I'm thinking of writing one! Thanks!)
Chapter One: Bubble Gum Faeries
The sun's rays lightly brushed the lake's surface. The lake's depth was beyond all reasoning and the dark murky waters were still in the afternoon breeze. All was calm.
!SPLASH!
"Hel....he....help gasp! I...can gurgle can't gurgle Swi... spat gurgle," cried a voice.
"Did you hear something?" asked Harry, as he demolished another of Ron's pawns.
"Hear what? What did you hear? Are you hearing voices again?" whimpered Ron as he jumped up, knocking over their game. "Are you? Who is it? What do they want? Are they after you? Or Hermione? Or me? Or Dumble..."
"No, Ron, calm down. I'm not hearing voices inside my head. It sounded like it came from outside," said Harry, cutting off Ron. "Really," he thought, "ever since Sirius died Ron's been acting like the world is going to fall down on him."
Ron inched over to the window, and ever so slightly, peeked out. Harry walked over and looked out also. Neither boy saw anything, so they walked back to the chess table and began resetting the board, when Hermione walked down.
"Good Morning. Our first class is Charms. By the way, did either of you hear anything a few moments ago?" asked Hermione, as she prepared for her first class.
"Oh My God," yelled Ron, "now She's hearing voices. We're all going nuts. And we're gon....gonna end up in St. Mungo's"
"Calm down," shouted Hermione and Harry in unison.
Hermione sat on the Hogwarts steps with a letter in her hand, and tear drops slowly rolling down her face "Why does this stuff always happen to me," she sobbed. "Harry and Ron are off saving the world and I'm here, being dumped by my boyfriend. Oh, look, here comes the doubtless duo. Better put on a good face."
"Hey Hermione," said Harry and Ron in unison.
"Hey!"
"Have you been crying?" asked Harry.
"No, why do you ask?"
"Well, your shirt...," said Harry and he pointed to her wet collar.
"You must have heard then," said Ron solemnly.
"Oh, yes," said Hermione, making a clean escape. "Isn't it horrible!"
"I'll miss him," said Harry.
"Me, too," said Ron, looking at the ground.
"Umm...so," said Hermione, and then saying the only thing she could think of, "How is Neville taking it?"
"Hermione!" said Ron, but Harry looked dumbstruck.
"What? I..."
"Didn't you hear?", whispered Ron, while Harry gaped at her. "Neville's dead. He drowned in the lake."
"Oh my!!!" shrieked Hermione.
"Well, didn't you know? Isn't that why you were crying," said Harry finally. "By the sound of it... hey, what's with the letter?"
Harry grabbed the letter out of her hand, scanned it, and then started to laugh.
"Your...your....your laughing," sobbed Hermione as she started to cry. "But...but..."
Harry showed the letter to Ron, in which Ron read it, and fell over in a peal of laughter. Both boys rolled on the grass until they were covered in it, got up, and then fell down again.
"It's not funny, but what about Neville?" said Hermione.
And so, Harry and Ron told her about Neville, but as sad as she was, she couldn't stop thinking about the fact that she didn't have a boyfriend. That queasy feeling you get when someone says they've dumped you for a Veela was setting in. (A/N- We all know how that feels) and that night when she went to bed she thought, "I'll get a boyfriend, even if I have to date Harry."
The next day she picked out her first victim. Ron was easy. He was so nervous all the time, maybe he wouldn't even notice. Besides, Hermione liked Ron. He had always been a good friend. Besides, being caught by Cho, without a date was worse then having to sit and listen to Ron talk about the broom he just saw. But there was still that nagging problem of Harry. If only she could get him away from Harry.
So, she told Harry that Lupin wanted to see him that night.
"He wants to see me," Harry asked,"Why?"
"Oh, I don't know," she replied.
"So where do we meet?"
"In the broom closet"
"WHAT!?" Harry replied.
"It's secret. Top secret," whispered Hermione.
So, that night Harry walked to the broom closet, and Hermione pushed him in. Of course, he didn't see her. She was too smart to get caught. Then she replayed the tape recording of Malfoy's voice she'd recorded earlier that day.
"POTTER...got you again,' said "Malfoy".
She snuck up to the boy's dormitories.
"Ron," she said in her most helpless voice, "I can't get to sleep. Can you help?"
"Sure, sit down."
Hermione sat on his bed. Ron took a deep breath and said," Ok, where do you want me to start?"
"Where ever," she said.
"OK then," Ron paused. He was just sitting there.
"Well, hurry up," said Hermione, getting a bit impatient, "I haven't got ALL night."
"Well, there was once this magical princess in a pretty pink dress. It was very pretty and very pink, my two favorite things. So anyway, she lived in this old city and one day this man in a hooded cloak came and..."
Hermione cut him off. "What are you doing?"
"Well, I'm telling you stories," he said, "So let me finish!"
For the rest of the night, Ron told Hermione stories. Some were about dragons and some were about cats, but no matter what, Hermione didn't fall asleep, and Ron didn't know why. Hermione listened to stories until 3 o'clock, and then she happily said she was tired, and went to bed. Hermione groggily walked down to breakfast, and sat down next to Ron.
"Last night was fun, wasn't it? Lets do it again sometime!," he said.
"Errr....but then it won't be as special. Let's keep it on a once a year basis," said Hermione with haste.
"What are you talking about?" said Harry, not really wanting to know. What were they doing? Besides, he was so mad at Malfoy for tricking him, he was ready to play an equally sweet trick right back. He was in that closet for 5 hours. He still didn't understand how Malfoy had gotten Hermione to believe Lupin really wanted to talk to him.
"This is my chance," Hermione thought. "Oh, nothing," she said out loud. "So Harry, are you and Cho going out still?"
"Yup! We just got back together. she realized that you and I weren't going out last year, and it was just that I need to give that interview with Rita. We just won't spend any time at Madame Pudifoot's."
"Perfect," mumbled Hermione sarcastically.
"Hmmm?," said Harry, "I missed that."
"Ummm...perfect. I said perfect, because you two look so...um...good....um...together."
"Oh," said Harry, " 'Cause I though you might be mad or somethin'." You and her never really got along. and I would have broken up with her if you minded. Really. I still will," he said with a hint of hope in his voice. He didn't really want to go out with her. she was snobby and a human hose. Honesty!
"Oh, I'm not mad at all. Actually, I'm happy."
Hermione then thought, "Well, Neville's dead, Ron's...well....Ron's just too Ron. That leaves Harry, Dean,and Malfoy, and though I'm desperate, I'm going to save that one for a LAST RESORT. Oh, but Dean's going out with Lavender. Well, I'll just have to deal with Cho, because Malfoy is just sick. Oh, this is going to be a long week. But maybe I could get Cho with something she never expected. Lime Green Hair Dye!!!