I will break into your thoughts. With what's written on my heart. I will break, break.

I opened my eyes, being woken at the sound of my radio. The song plying had always been one of my favorites. It described my feelings exactly. I was so sick of being in pain because Ed... he left me 3 months ago. I never thought his name because it hurt too much. I sighed. I would regret thinking about it once I was trying to sleep tonight. Everything was harder to deal with at night.

If you want more of this, we can push out, sell out, die out. So you'll shut up. And stay sleeping with my screaming in your itching ears. I'm so sick, Infected with where I live. Let me live without this empty bliss, selfishness. I'm so sick. I'm so sick.

I dragged myself out of bed and stumbled over to my closet. I wish I was still sleeping. I wished that all of this was just some horrible nightmare. That when I opened my eyes Ed... He would be there. Holding me. Telling me it was alright. Saying he would never leave me. But this wasn't some terrible dream I could wake up from. It was reality... and the reality was he didn't want me. He didn't love me. I bit my lip to keep it from quivering. Reality sucked.

I picked out an outfit which was easier now that I never had to worry about matching. Almost all of my clothes were black. Color just never went with my mood. I threw all my clothes away...Well besides the blue sweater Edw...He liked. I shredded it then set it on fire. It symbolized how he made me felt exactly. I bet if were to see how messed up I was...He wouldn't even care.

I dressed in a black In This Moment shirt, black jeans, and black chucks. Slowly I turned to the mirror. Like always, I hated what I saw. There were dark circles under my eyes. My skin was much paler than usual. I had lost a lot of weight. I just never felt hungry anymore. I only ate when Charlie was around so he would think I was alright. I hated when I made him worry about me.

My hair was messy thanks to my tossing and turning all night. I didn't feel like combing it though. I slid on a black jacket with skulls on it. I zipped it half way and pulled the hood on. There, problem solved. Alice would have a cow if she saw me. She'd probably take me on a huge shopping trip to restock my closet. She would also try to take me to get the tattoo removed from the small of my back. It was a heart with a dagger going threw it. Underneath it read All Hope Is Gone. I got it after I purchased the new Slipknot CD. I found it fitting. I sighed. I missed them all so much. Edward-flinch-was understandable; He didn't love me. But all of them. Did they not love me either? Was I really not worth anybody's time?

I took a deep breath to stop from crying. I checked the clock which read 7:50. Charlie would be worried if I was late again. He almost gave himself an aneurysm the last time. I would have to speed which was now possible in my black Acura tsx. I replaced my truck because it reminded me of him too much. Of course this whole state did that. After I graduated I would move to sunny California. Maybe my depression would vanish when I'm in a place I know they will never be.

I rushed out to my car. This car had some serious speed. My decision of not going to college was what bought me it. I used my college fund to get it. I still had a job at Newton's to afford gas. That was my excuse anyway. I kept it so I would have a reason to not go home and cry until morning. I worked whenever they would let me because it kept me busy. I no longer worked with customers though; I was too depressed to be friendly. Mrs. Newton let me work in the back. I really was lucky to have a boss like her. She didn't fire me like most would have already.

The parking lot was pretty much empty when I arrived at school. There was 2 minutes left before class started. I slung my bag over my shoulder and jogged to first period. I was in my seat the second the bell rang.

"Hey Bella." Angela said from beside me.

She was one of the few friends I had left. Lauren had never liked me so Jessica tagged along with her. The same went with Tyler and Eric. Mike and Angela's steady boyfriend Ben stuck with me. They were the only people that hadn't gotten tired of me yet.

"Hi."

It came out muffled because my mouth was covered by my arms. I hated the way I sounded. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't bring any happy emotion into my voice. It always sounded the way I looked; Lifeless.

I have decided to rewrite some of my stories as I have found a few mistakes and I would like to see if I can make them better. Please review and let me know what you think. Keep in mind some chapters I will touch more than others.