The glaring fluorescent lights bounced off the linoleum tiles as Kyoya Ootori walked down the hall. Everyone in the hall was in a certain rush. No one walked at a leisurely pace. The nurses, hospital staff, and doctors greeted him as he walked down the halls.

"Good afternoon, Ootori-sensei." A familiar voice mentioned.

Kyoya nodded politely and smiled back. "Good afternoon."

Akito Ootori watched his younger brother doing menial errands. Regardless of the fact that they owned the hospital, they were not exempt from the hierarchy in the medical field. They were treated like everyone else. It was their father's instructions after all.

Kyoya went through one of the halls that lead to the pediatric ward. The glaring white walls now became a technicolor mess. Sometimes, Kyoya found himself questioning his presence at the hospital. His father commanded that he stop attending college in Boston and transfer back to Japan.

This was going against Kyoya's initial plans. He didn't want to enter the medical field like his brothers, instead he was already taking business as a degree. Unfortunately, he had no choice but to let go of his plans and to follow what it was his father asked of him. He went to the top medical school like his brothers and just like them he was at the top of his class.

Being an excellent student, he was granted advancement classes that provided more exposure to patients. Kyoya was sucked into a world where sleep was not possible. Patient reports had to be written, case studies had to be submitted, reviewing and reading ahead for classes was a must. He barely saw his family and his friends. He spent most of his time either in the hospital or locked in his room writing down more reports.

In order to stay efficient with the emotional toll that comes with being a healthcare professional, he kept a healthy emotional distance with everyone. He became almost apathetic to those around him. He knew it was unhealthy, but he did what he could to survive. Each day he spent doing what was expected of him and as his father was further pleased with him, the more he lost the passion he once had.

"Ootori-sensei?"

Kyoya didn't look up to see who was calling his attention. He knew very well who that patient was.

The young girl was no more than ten years old. It was easy to remember this specific patient because she was the only half Japanese patient there. She had the largest hazel eyes and rosiest cheeks imaginable despite her pale skin. Besides, she was probably the only natural blonde in the hospital. Except when Tamaki gets into some stupid incident like running to the emergency room due to a splinter or breaking his ankle by tripping over his own feet.

"Yes, Lili-chan?" Kyoya asked.

The young girl sat beside Kyoya and looked at what he was writing. "Kyoya-niisan, did you know that my sister is coming to visit soon?"

Kyoya now paused. He's been watching this child for quite some time and not a single relative has visited.

"Is that so?" Kyoya confirmed. "When is she coming?"

The young girl pouted. "I'm not sure. Aunty said that if I behave and I get out of the hospital, she'll let me see her again."

The little girl had grown very attached to Kyoya. She would beg all the nurses to call him when he was not there. Unintentionally, Kyoya grew fond of her as well. Every week she would beg him to take her to the gardens of the hospital for fresh air. They would talk about anything. There was an occasion when she told him about her family. She talked about how her parents died when she was little and how her sister was working that's why she could not visit.

Kyoya did not understand why after so many years of perfecting his ability to keep his emotional distance, this little girl just went in and broke a few barriers so easily. Was it because he knew the truth to the story of her life? After all, he was briefed by the head of the pediatric ward that she came from a broken home and her mother had full custody of Lilian and her older sister. Three years ago, her mother died in a car crash and the father shot himself two years after her mother died.

According to police reports, it was the older sister of Lilian that found their father dead in his apartment in Roppongi. Shortly after the wake, she disappeared leaving Lilian with their father's family. He knew that the little girl had quite a tragic life, but he has seen worse. Kyoya thought that maybe it was the disease she had. It was a rare disease that requires a heart transplant. Regardless of why he was attached to this specific patient, he continued his duties as a doctor.

"Lili-chan, we need to go back to your room." Kyoya stood up and motioned for her to follow him.

"I don't want to drink that medicine." Lilian sulked. She followed Kyoya nonetheless and sat on her bed with a slight tantrum.

Kyoya had to hold back small smile. He sometimes thought that she reminded him so much of Tamaki which was why he was drawn to the child. " You have to drink your medicine. You wouldn't be well enough to see your sister if you don't drink this"

"That's the new medicine, right? They gave me a different one after I had lunch." Lilian asked. She was a very curious child. Kyoya knew that and he would always explain all the medicines she had to take.

"Yes, that's the one. If you want to get better, you need to drink this." Kyoya said. He hid his impatience at this point. He just wanted to go home and rest.

The medication Kyoya held in his hand was undergoing clinical trials. It was a new kind of cardiovascular drug that would regulate a person's heartbeat. It does this by slowing down other parts of the heart so that the blood flows smoothly without any turbulence.

A nod was all it took and Kyoya watched her pretend to vomit out of disgust. The entire thing didn't look appealing to him either so he couldn't blame the child at this point. Lilian's face was still scrunched up upon tasting the bitter liquid. He placed the medicine bottle on the bedside table and updated the patient chart.

One of the nurses peeked inside the room and said "Ootori- sensei, there's a code red right now in the emergency room and surgery ward. One of the buildings being built down the street collapsed so there's a sudden influx of patients. Some doctors from the other wards are being called to help. They might call you as we- "

"Kyoya Ootori-sensei, paging Kyoya Ootori-sensei. Please head to the operating room immediately. Again, paging Kyoya Ootori-sensei please go to the operating room immediately".

"Thank you Issei-san." He turned to the pouting little girl on the bed. He knew she didn't want him to leave yet. "Sorry Lilian, but I have to go."

With that announcement Kyoya ran to the other side of the hospital. Both of the healthcare professionals left in a hurry. More than fifty people were injured in the accident. All the hospital staff were working double time to meet the demands. With all the chaos in the hospital, there very few nurses going around the rooms since a lot of them had to help in the other wards.

When no one was around, Lilian saw the medicine bottle on the table. Being a child who was not aware of how dosage requirements worked, she decided to drink the entire bottle of medicine so she would get better soon. After a few minutes, she felt very dizzy and sleepy after drinking all the contents of the bottle, so she got comfortable and slept until her heart slowly stopped beating.

The nurse was scheduled to check Lilian's vitals at 8:00 pm, 1 hour and 30 minutes after Lilian drank the entire bottle of medicine, by 8:05 pm, doctors and nurses ran to her room to resuscitate the little girl and by 8:20pm she was declared dead due to overdose.

Kyoya found out what happened to Lilian by 9:00pm right after he went out the operating room. The nurse told Kyoya that Lilian has died and Kyoya just ran as fast as he could. He ran with all his might, but when he got to the room all he saw was a small body under a white piece of cloth that was ready to be brought to the morgue.

He also saw the empty medicine bottle on the bedside. He knew his mistake and he could not forgive his carelessness. A small error of not returning the medicine to the nurse station or at least just putting it in his pocket. Because of his inattentiveness and negligence, a patient that was dear to him, died. He felt so much guilt that he quit the internship and medical school altogether. The thought of taking care of patients frightened him.

Kyoya felt so much anger towards himself. He wasn't one to take failure lightly. He stayed locked in his room for days. He would not eat or go out. Even his friends were not able to get through. Kyoya's father did not really help with the situation. Every time he saw his son, he would remind him how much of a failure he was and that he was lucky that the Ootori family had a lot of 'friends' and connections in the press so news would not spread.

For weeks, Kyoya was practically a zombie. He would spend hours staring at the ceiling. He felt like a humanized form of failure. His sole purpose for living seemed like it was futile to do anything. The guilt he felt was gnawing his conscience. It was a simple mistake. He could have prevented it easily. He would replay the situation in his head over and over again.

Upon hearing the news, Tamaki tried his best to visit Kyoya even if he was refused every single day. Everyone's tried their luck but were all refused gently. They've all tried to reach out, but Kyoya refused to depend on anyone. It was something he would do, but Tamaki knew that something inside his friend snapped. It was just like Kyoya to be this hard on himself, but this was too much. Tamaki feared that Kyoya would do something terrible if he did not try to reach out. If he was not there in the Ootori mansion physically, he would call every 10 minutes to make sure that Kyoya has not done anything rash, but it has been more than three months, and no one has heard anything from Kyoya.

Until one day, even after the servants of the Ootori mansion told Tamaki that Kyoya would still not see anyone. He brought it upon himself to get Kyoya out of the downward spiral he was going through. He knew he had to do something. Enough was enough. He ran up to his best friend's room with a vague plan.

"Kyoya, get dressed. We're leaving." Tamaki said albeit out of breath. He ran from the entrance of the mansion up to Kyoya's room. Adrenaline was his greatest ally now.

Kyoya was seated on the couch watching some television. Upon hearing Tamaki's orders, he raised a brow and lit another cigarette. Practically ignoring the unwanted company.

Tamaki's eyes started to water, but he had to keep himself in check. Kyoya needed him now more than ever. But he was not ready for the Kyoya he saw right now. He saw that Kyoya lost a bit of weight and sleep did not come easily to him. The man's hair was disheveled, and he reeked of nicotine and alcohol. He took a deep breath and all his courage. He was going to do the unthinkable.

"We're going to the Rio Grand Hotel." Tamaki said as he took the cigarette from Kyoya and dragged him out of the room.

This proposition was met indifferently and Kyoya glared at his best friend. It was a good thing that Tamaki was a very stubborn person, so he dragged Kyoya to one of their best hotels. He knew that he had to get Kyoya out of his room.

The car ride was silent the entire time. No matter what Tamaki said, Kyoya remained indifferent. He knew that Kyoya blamed himself slightly more than what he deserved. The entire Host Club only wished for Kyoya to look beyond his past. He was like an empty shell waiting for time to pass.

Tamaki observed his friend. By just simply glancing at the black-haired man, he can see how much the incident has left him broken. The weight of guilt was too heavy of a burden, even for him. Kyoya did not look like he has shaved or even taken a bath in a while. With Kyoya's current lack of strength and willpower to argue, it was easy for Tamaki to drag Kyoya around physically. Though, he had to use all his self-control for not shrinking underneath the dark glare of the shadow king.

Finally, they got to the hotel and Tamaki brought Kyoya to one of the suites. He was hoping the most lavish and grand room would create a difference in the mood. He was hoping the change of venue would lift the spirits of the Shadow King. He stared at his friend. He knew Kyoya at his best and seeing him at his worst was heartbreaking. The self-assured and confident Kyoya he knew was gone. That person went through more adversities and fought battles that have left him scarred and broken.

Tamaki was fidgeting under Kyoya's glare, but he was able to muster the courage to say "Kyoya, you need to eat something. Please, your sister is worried sick. Everyone is."

Tamaki really hoped that his concern was heard but Kyoya did not even look at him. He just sat there and was silent the entire time. Tamaki decided to text his fiance, Haruhi, for advice. He was scared that Kyoya would kill him or feed him to the sharks after what he just did. No one pulls Kyoya around and lives to tell the tale.

The silence was broken when Tamaki heard a soft voice saying "I killed a little girl, Tamaki."

Tamaki looked up from his phone and saw his friend with his head bent down with his hands on his head. The walls have crumbled and exposed the vulnerability he tried to hard to hide. "I don't think I could ever forgive myself for killing her."

Tamaki heard Kyoya's voice break. This was the first time he saw Kyoya in such a vulnerable state. Kyoya's walls were all gone. The Ootori finesse and pride was not there. The person in front of him was just Kyoya. This was Kyoya in his rawest state. Even he found it difficult to imagine that his friend had a side that could breakdown like this. Most people see Kyoya Ootori as a well-composed, polite, intelligent, cunning, and handsome young man, but the person he saw today was a side even Kyoya refused to acknowledge. This was just like him though. He had high standards for plenty of things, but the standards he set for himself were even higher. He never took failure lightly.

Tamaki had an idea of what to say, he just hoped that it would get through. Tamaki took a deep breath and handed his friend a drink. "You know what Kyoya, we've all been through trials and we all make mistakes. You always said I was too optimistic for my own good, but I really don't think I am. I think I am very realistic."

Kyoya stared and raised one eyebrow at Tamaki "Who are you shitting?"

"No! No! Listen to me" Tamaki took a deep breath and to calm himself "I know how difficult it is to lose important people."

"Your stupid bear does not count, idiot" Kyoya replied sharply.

"Kuma-chan is very important, but that is not the point here! What I'm trying to say is…Kyoya, please forgive yourself. Do not be too hard on past mistakes. Sulking around…it wouldn't, and it can't bring them back. The best way to keep people alive is by remembering them." He said sincerely.

"Future actions won't atone for the past either."

"But it does not mean you should let yourself degrade into such a state. I know you are capable of standing up again. Everyone will be right beside you to pick up all the pieces." Tamaki said. He wanted to assure Kyoya that he need not fight all his battles alone.

Tamaki looked at his friend who sat across him. Kyoya sighed and replied "So assuming I forgive myself, what do I do now? I already quit medical school. I do not want to be responsible for the lives of others anymore. My father thinks that I am a disgrace to the family. My brothers look at me with disdain. I gave up my dreams to make room for their plans. I'm a useless piece of shit. Everyone thinks- "

"Kyoya, you are anything but useless." Tamaki said as cut off whatever his friend had to say. Right now, he needed Kyoya to believe in himself again.

He placed his hand on Kyoya's shoulder. "Please, come back to us."

Kyoya looked at Tamaki. His composure was compromised at the moment. Keeping a calm expression took more effort than usual. He still had nothing to say to Tamaki.

Upon sensing the change in mood, Tamaki decided to take a different approach.

"Do something you're good where no one can beat you at your own game. Do the things that you have always wanted to do." Tamaki faced his friend. His hands were on Kyoya's shoulders. "I know it may seem like a reckless choice, but ignore your family just this once and build something of your own."

"I doubt. I'm in no position to do that." Kyoya replied without looking at him.

"No one cares where and how you will start again, mon ami." Tamaki's voice was filled with frustration and concern. "I'm sure that little girl would have wanted to do something so spectacular instead of being a social recluse."

Somehow, the words got through Kyoya, but he didn't give in just yet. It was time for his final move and his final playing card.

"Give yourself time to heal, then stand up. If your family will not be there for you, you have got another one to count on. Everyone from the host club is worried and we'll always support you no matter what." Tamaki said with a smile.

Kyoya never wanted to admit that Tamaki's little pep talk snapped him out of his misery. He had too much pride to admit that it was his best friend who saved him. An idiot like Tamaki getting him back on his feet was something that looked funny. At this point, Kyoya hated how much he lost himself in his pursuit of being the perfect son. He was obviously not perfect, so he would not even try to please his father anymore. From that day on, Kyoya did as he pleased, and he wanted to show his father and brothers that he was far from done with this world.

Disclaimer: I do not own ouran or anything in it.

Obviously it's set after the manga. Everyone's doing their own thing now.

Now, I know there is not much dialogue, but yeah. Sorry about that. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. A short warning though, this story is not very big on fluff. The plot is somewhat darker than it seems and I am sure that by reading just this chapter, you cannot predict what will happen.

Also, this story is technically complete and is just undergoing revisions.

Thank you for your time. I hope you'll continue to read up until the end.