Warnings: no beta, OOCness, English is not my first language, inconsistent tenses, i am very bad at prepositions, alcohol, CW: mentions of abortion (just a mention it actually doesn't happen)
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.
A/N: this was supposed to be a different fic and a fluffier take to a pregnant ada but when i was editing this for the first time i thought that it'd be better off a companion piece to "under the moonlight"
Fic title was inspired by the song "Against the Light" by Stefanie Sun
20:58, February 7, 2016, Sunday
Washington D.C.
This was perhaps the greatest mission Ada has ever accepted in her entire career: Settling down with the love of her life.
There was a formal dinner party for the DSO's fifth founding anniversary, and every DSO employee, and even some folks from the FOS, were invited. Leon, as the DSO's golden boy and one of its founding members, was of course invited, and he decided to bring Ada along. Even though Ada was already invited because she was also working for the DSO.
But still, his sentiment was there. Ada as Leon's plus one. Who would have thought that they would come to this point. She certainly didn't, especially with the turmoil that she had caused after finding out about her pregnancy.
After formally joining the DSO, they travelled around the world for a month, Leon helping Ada burn bridges with her past. Once she was five months pregnant, Leon implored her to stay at home and take it easy.
And so she did, if only to get rid of that worried frown on Leon's face.
Tonight, she was two hours late to the party because of an appointment with the doctor, but better late than never.
She stepped into the hall, missing the clip-clopping of her heels; pregnant women were advised against wearing heels. A waiter passed by and was about to offer her a flute of champagne, but upon seeing Ada's belly, he just asked if she wanted juice or water. She politely declined, and then looked around in search of Leon's familiar back, of those broad shoulders and golden hair. And then she saw him, looking devilishly handsome in his dark blue tuxedo, laughing at whatever Sherry Birkin had said.
He threw his head back in laughter, the champagne in his hands almost spilling out of the flute. The other people around him were laughing too, and Ada couldn't help but smile. Leon deserved to be always this happy. He deserved to be always smiling and full of life, surrounded by other people with upstanding morals.
Unlike Ada. She wasn't sure if she deserved him, of if she belonged with him.
She fiddled with the engagement ring on her finger and reminded herself that he chose her. Out of all the women in the world, out of all the women he had dated, Leon, at the end of it all, chose Ada.
I'll always choose you, he had said. He had knelt on one knee and his eyes had been glassy with unshed tears. After all the shit I have gone through, I deserve to finally call you mine. You're my happy ending, you know?
It wasn't easy leaving behind everything she had ever known just to be with him. She would have kept on living her life as a solitary spy until she got pregnant, until she admitted to himself that she was in love with him.
It wasn't easy burning the bridges to her past. It wasn't easy cutting her ties to dangerous people. It wasn't easy shaking off the assassins sent after her—after them. But if there was one easy thing about this whole mess, it was loving Leon. His embraces alone made everything worth it. Loving him was as easy as breathing.
She went on to work as a spy for the DSO. She initially wanted to work for the CIA, but since she had extensive knowledge on B.O.W.s and the people involved in making and trading them, it was easy for Leon to convince the president to give Ada an offer she couldn't refuse—an immunity deal, and a chance to work alongside her (and the president's) favourite DSO agent.
She wished it got easy after that. The people from DSO respected her skills, but there was a lingering sense of distrust in the air. Except for Sherry and Helena, Leon's closest friends in the DSO. Leon implicitly trusted her, and while Sherry and Helena took a while before completely trusting her, Ada had long since proven her loyalty.
But she wasn't loyal to the US government or its president; she was loyal to Leon. As long as he remained loyal to their employers, then so would she. She made that clear before signing her contract.
She was about to approach Leon, but something about seeing him laughing surrounded by all his colleagues stopped her.
She was a lone wolf. She had nothing but her job. She had left everything behind because of him, and she was suddenly thrust into his world where he had friends, family, and colleagues—a social circle which Ada must now learn to be a part of.
He didn't force her to socialise. She knew how to be social; she was a spy, and that was an unwritten requirement for someone in her profession. But after decades of living by herself, genuine human connections became alien to her, and she didn't have anyone, not until she decided to be with Leon.
She took a deep breath. This world where she was expected to laugh at someone's jokes during social gatherings, or to make small talk, or to be Leon's arm piece…she didn't belong there.
Maybe if she treated this like a job then she would easily fit in.
She shook her head. She had been wearing masks all her life. She could be Ada the Spy later, but right now, she just wanted to submerge herself in the bathtub and eat strawberry mochi, hiding away from all the noise and chatter.
Ada turned around in search of an exit and found a side entrance that led to the garden. With one final look at Leon—gods, he looked so damn good when he smiled—Ada stepped out of the hall and into the cold winter night.
She milled around the barren garden, immediately regretting her decision because she didn't have a coat on and it was too cold. She crossed her arms, hoping to ward the chill off even just a little, and found a nice spot under a leafless tree that overlooked the city below and the mountain beyond.
She stood there on that spot. The mountain was barely visible in the night, but she could still see its silhouette. She wondered if she could hide there for a while. Maybe she could go to her cabin in the Swiss Alps and get away from it all.
She heard footsteps approaching. She immediately turned around, her defences rising, until the wan light of the garden lamp revealed a concerned-looking Leon.
"I thought I saw you," he said. "When did you get here?"
She gave him a reassuring smile. "Not too long ago."
"And why are you out here? It's freezing." He shrugged his coat off and draped it over Ada's shoulders. "Let's go back inside."
Ada tugged the coat off and held it out to Leon, but he just put his coat back on her shoulders.
"Let's go back inside," he repeated. "I don't want you to freeze out here."
"You go back inside. I want to enjoy the cold a little bit longer."
"Without a coat? Babe, you're gonna freeze to death."
She cupped his face with a hand, brushing his stubble with a thumb. Even at a formal party, he refused to neatly comb his hair, letting it cover practically half of his face instead. She brushed his hair aside, tucking the longer strands behind his ear.
"Let's just go back inside, please?" He looked so worried for her, and she almost caved in to his pleas.
She kissed that worry away. "Just a few more minutes and I'll come find you." Because she always did. No matter where he was, or how long they were separated, as long as they moved in the same spheres, they always found each other.
"I'm torn between letting you have your space and dragging you back inside for your safety."
She laughed lightly. "My safety? Leon, I'm just standing out here."
"In the cold. At night. During winter." As if to emphasise his point, he arranged the coat on her shoulders, making sure that it covered her entire torso. "I can't help but worry, okay? Pregnancy at your age is especially risky."
She arched an eyebrow. "Are you calling me old?"
He bristled. "Ada, you know—"
She stifled her laughter with a hand. "I know. I was just teasing you."
"When are you not?" he said exasperatedly. He took her left hand, kissing her ring. "Please, Ada. You're killing me here."
"I'm fine." She laid a hand on her belly. She was seven months along and her baby bump was already noticeable, and Leon fussed over her and their unborn child like a mother hen. "We're fine. But if it will make you feel better…"
"It will."
Her happiness came with a cost. In order to be with Leon, she left behind her life of subterfuge, but it wasn't just she who had sacrificed something; Leon did too. Not only taking the side of a former enemy spy but being engaged to that same spy had sort of damaged his previously stellar reputation. There was even one brief moment where they considered defecting to another government, but they scratched that thought away from their minds as quickly as it came.
Leon had proven himself and his loyalty many, many times before. Suffice to say, the president wouldn't simply let Leon leave, and if he wanted his favourite agent to be still in his employ, then he would have to accept everything that came with him. And as much as the president still had his reservations about her, Ada came along with Leon, and he had no choice but to accept them together.
(That, and Ada suspected that Leon may or may not have given the freaking president of the United States of America an ultimatum, because Leon wouldn't say how he convinced the president to give her an immunity deal.)
Ada wouldn't let Leon abandon his life anyway. Ada, however, didn't have a proper life, so she chose to assimilate herself into his world. It was a huge step for her, living like this in the open, but at least she didn't have to hide anymore. At least they didn't have to hide anymore. There were a lot of things she needed to relearn, like trusting people again—people who weren't Leon—but at least he was there to hold her hand, figuratively and literally, through the relearning process.
"All right. Let's go back inside," she said.
He took her hand and led her towards the hall. "What were you doing out here anyway?"
"Just…thinking."
"About?"
She stopped in her tracks, forcing Leon to do the same.
"Ada?" he said. "What's wrong?"
She looked at him, ready to say something, only to chicken out at the last moment. She looked away from him and he gently held her face, forcing their eyes to meet, and asked her softly, "Tell me?"
She sighed. "It's not easy living this life. I've lived too much of my life in the shadows. Imagine being in the darkness for so long, and then suddenly, there's this sudden outburst of light. Your eyes would need to gradually adjust or risk being blinded. That's how I feel about this whole situation." She rested her forehead on his shoulder. "That's how I feel about you, about our baby. You and our unborn daughter are the sudden outbursts of light that I must be careful not to stare too long at, but I already did anyway. And now, I must brave the consequences."
His arms encircled her. "Are you—" He swallowed. "Are you regretting being with me?"
She shook her head quickly. "Never. You and our baby are the only things in my life that I don't regret." She kissed him, as if to prove her point. "But if it takes me a while to warm up to your friends…"
"You don't have to worry about that. You don't even need to force yourself to socialise with my friends if it makes you uncomfortable." He kissed the back of her hands. "Just take your time, okay? I understand that this needs a lot of adjustment. We both need a lot of adjustment, especially with an unplanned baby on the way."
"That was a happy accident," she admitted, smiling.
He gave her a fond smile. "It was."
Ada looked at that smile on Leon's face. Sometimes, she shuddered at the thought that she almost threw this all away—she left Leon, almost got their baby aborted—but just one kiss and embrace from him made those intrusive thoughts go away.
You didn't leave, Leon assured him, and our baby girl is still here. You're still here. That's all that matters.
They of all people should know the perils of raising a child in a B.O.W.-infested world. But should they let those monsters ruin their chance for real happiness? For a real life? They've already let those creatures separate them for a good long while. She broke up with him. They got back together anyway. And now, they were engaged with a baby on the way, and Ada didn't want to let anything ruin this fragile piece of contentment she held in her hands.
"I just want to do right by you," she said. "There are enough people believing that you've traded state secrets with me in the past."
"Let them. People will think what they want to anyway. Let them gossip all they want. I don't care."
He kissed her cheek, then placed his left hand over her stomach. She covered it with her left hand, their rings clinking—because of course she got him an engagement ring too. They felt the baby kick, and they shared a laugh and another kiss.
"Shall we go back inside?" he asked after kissing Ada's temple.
She nodded, and he led her by the hand once more. At the entrance to the hall, she removed his coat, putting it back on him, and smoothed his collar and lapel.
Once she stepped foot inside that hall, she would have to go back into playing the role of his fiancée, strengthening her relationship with their co-workers and building a life of her—their—own. This was the price she had to pay to be with him, and all things considered, it wasn't such a steep price to pay.
They stepped into the hall, his hand enveloping hers, and Ada mentally prepared herself to play her role.
But it wasn't a role, wasn't it? She wasn't undercover. She wasn't pretending. She was actually his fiancée, and she was carrying his child. Despite all their fears about raising a kid in the world that they lived in, they decided to do this together, because shouldn't they get their happy ending after everything they've been through? They deserve to be happy, even if that happiness stood precariously on a precipice, held together by a spider's web.
He turned to her, smiling. "You ready?"
"Yeah." With Leon by his side, she knew she could do anything.
Leon represented everything she thought she could never have. She had taken a step into his world, left everything behind for him, but once in a while, she would get the urge to firmly plant her foot back in the comfort of the shadows.
But this was her life now—a life with him. Ada was the moon, Leon was the sun, and their baby girl was made up of millions of twinkling stars.
This was perhaps the greatest mission Ada has ever accepted in her entire career: Settling down with the love of her life. But as Leon led her by the hand towards his friends and colleagues—into the light and the laughter—she knew that, like all her past missions, she would accomplish this one with exemplary results.
The doctor said that her due date was on the first week of May. Leon already had a hospital bag prepared, tucked safely in a cabinet away from all the unpacked boxes in their new home. The house they had just bought still needed some fixes and decorations, but the nursery was ready, just waiting for its occupant. It was filled with toys, cute clothes, and furniture that Leon had splurged on. It was a visual representation of Ada's happy ending, of all her previously forgotten dreams coming true.
Casting her old skins away was a small price to pay to have her fiancé, their daughter, and this new life that they were going to build together.