This story was one of the first FanFiction's I wrote for Twilight. After 10 years, I decided to rewrite it in 2019.

The original story has since been taken down, but I think what I changed was for the better.

I hope you like it.

Tonight was an absolute disaster. How could one little paper cut completely derail my eighteenth birthday party so horrifically? Edward was in an absolute rage - which didn't much surprise anyone. I felt truly sorry for Jasper. I knew how hard he tried to maintain his control around me. It wasn't his fault that tonight happened.

Carlisle was my only source of relief tonight, but as always, I couldn't let myself rejoice in it. I couldn't let myself feel the way his fingers were gliding over my skin as he stitched me up. I even tried my hardest not to breathe so I wouldn't be consumed by his fresh linen and worn leather scent. Being this close to him was dangerous.

There was something in the way his hands felt on me - how our bodies always seemed to react to one another. It made me so nervous that I'd recently started avoiding being in the same room with him for too long. If I let myself be physically near him, or even let my eyes linger for longer than a second, then I would feel that pull to him. It was almost magnetic. I wanted him so badly, but it could never happen. It would never happen.

The soft plink plink plink of the glass fragments falling to the bowl under my arm pulled me out of my reverie. Even as his grip on my arm tightened and I fought the urge to take a deep breath. I had to stop thinking about him. I was already sure the dreams would start again tonight.

I shook my head as if the motion would banish him from my mind.

"Did that hurt?" He paused his work to look at me, eyes full of genuine concern.

Quickly, I blinked and looked away. I knew the inner turmoil that awaited me if I let myself take in the full force of his bright gold eyes.

"No, I was just… thinking about tonight. It's been a disaster."

"Oh, I don't know," he let out a soft laugh. The sound of it was hesitant. Maybe even nervous? It washed over me like a fresh sea breeze, "I'm not happy you're injured, but… I must admit I am quite pleased to have you in my study - regardless of the circumstances. It's not every day I get to spend a moment alone with you."

My heart felt like it was about to pound out of my chest. It was almost like I was in one of my dreams. Was he hinting that… no. No. He couldn't be. It's just me reading way too much into it.

"Carlisle," His name was like fire on my tongue. I took a breath to steady myself and instantly regretted it as I inhaled his intoxicating scent, "I… I don't know what you mean."

"It's possible I'm wrong, but I think you do." He gently slid his hands down my arm, letting them linger on my finger tips. "Will you look at me, Bella? Please?"

I didn't move.

This couldn't be happening. There's no way. I must have hit my head when Edward pushed me away from Jasper. I was probably still lying unconscious on the living room floor. This could only be a dream.

"Isabella," my name sounded like a caress on his lips, "please. I never get to see your eyes anymore."

He nudged my chin up and let his hand rest against my cheek. At last giving in to the temptation, I slowly shifted my gaze up until I was met with his stunningly golden eyes. They were so bright, so pure in color, that I almost felt blinded by them.

He gave me a tentative smile and that was when I finally saw it. I saw the exact same hidden desire that I always tried to suppress. The same longing. The same hunger. Very, very slowly, almost torturously, he began to lean in.

My breath hitched. Was this actually happening? I fought the urge to pinch myself. That feeling - the magnetic pull I always felt towards him - was infinitely amplified as his hand traced a path down to the back of my neck.

He was close enough now that I could feel his breath on my lips.

"Carlisle…" But I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to express the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that was threatening to overwhelm me.

"Don't fight it, Bella," he whispered as he closed the gap between us.

In that one moment, I was gone. That's all it took. The feeling I'd always had whenever I was near him or thought about him, the way just a glance from him made my heart race, and even the incessant dreams I'd had ever since I first met him at the hospital - it all made sense. Everything had been leading us to this. To each other. In that one kiss, the old Bella was lost. Burned down completely as I let go of who I was before this. That one kiss sealed my fate forever. It was like we had this harmonic connection that would infinitely link us together.

I let my hands trace up his back, feeling the taught muscles that were ice cold beneath his shirt, then continued up to tangle my fingers into his golden blonde hair. He had one hand gripping my neck, keeping my lips locked to his. The other hand was wound tightly around my waist. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around him and moaned as he pulled me closer.

I don't know if it lasted minutes or mere seconds, but we were completely melted into each other - body and soul. I felt a yearning for him that I never would have imagined possible if I weren't feeling it right now. I wanted more. So much more.

All too abruptly, he was gone. I blinked and found him a foot away from me. He'd produced bandages out of nowhere and was gingerly wrapping them around my arm.

"Wha-" I started to ask.

'Edward' he mouthed, just as Edward was walking through the doors to the study.

Seeing his face, I was pulled out of my passionate haze and into the world of reason. Edward. What about Edward? What was I doing? Even though I'd yearned for Carlisle ever since I first laid eyes on him, even though I knew from that kiss that I would never be satisfied without him, I still loved Edward. Didn't I? Maybe. In a way. But never once have I felt this irresistible pull, this need, for him. He didn't set my body on fire. I never even dreamed about him anymore.

"Ready to go, Bella?" His tone was emotionless and he didn't meet my eye.

My body tensed and I felt my throat closing. I couldn't even get a response out. Had he read in Carlisle's mind what happened? Oh God, what about Esme? Did she hear us? She was probably disgusted with me. I couldn't blame her.

Carlisle responded for me, while running his thumb across my wrist in a comforting motion. "I think it would be best if I brought her home. There is still a lot of blood."

He winked at me discreetly.

"Fine. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella." Edward almost hissed. He didn't so much as look at me as he made his way out of the room.

Carlisle let out another soft laugh at the underlying stress on my face and softly kissed my forehead.

"Don't worry about him right now," his voice was barely audible, "we'll figure all this out in time."

We walked through the house in silence. The mess that was made by the incident had been cleaned up and my gifts were neatly stacked in a small pile by the garage door. Where did everyone go? Had they all heard our short tryst and run out in horror?

"Emmett and Alice took Jasper for a hunt. Rosalie and Esme are somewhere upstairs," Carlisle answered my unspoken question as he carried the gifts to his car.

We were still quiet while driving away from the house, down the long driveway that wound through the trees. I could feel the tension in my body building from being in such an enclosed space with him, but I was too stressed to give into it. I had too many questions.

How long had he felt it? The undeniable hunger between us. Was it from that first glance? If so, why didn't he ever say anything before tonight? Then there was Edward and Esme - how could either of us do this to Esme?

I was going to be sick.

Carlisle took hold of my hand and began rubbing soothing circles on my palm. My body instantly relaxed. How did he have this strong of an effect on me? The feeling of his cool skin was also enough to satiate the thirst I had for him, though I could still feel the hunger growing.

"Please don't make yourself crazy with stress, Bella," hearing my name on his lips almost sent every worry from my mind, "I promise we will talk this whole thing out. We'll work through it together."

I only nodded in response. Fearing that if I opened my mouth, any words would come out in a jumble. Underneath all the worry, the hunger was still growing steadily stronger. Maybe I didn't speak because I knew there was a chance I would blurt out the feelings I'd worked so hard to hide.

I could see Charlie watching a game through the front window when we reached my house. Carlisle parked his car in a dark area across the street. He still hadn't let go of my hand.

"Should we go for a walk?"

I nodded and we got out of the car. He took my hand again as we walked to the side of my house, leading me down the path into the woods. Once the house was out of sight, he stopped me mid step to grab my other hand, and turned so we were facing each other.

My eyes adjusted while I took in his expression. Here in the secluded forest, he looked almost as stressed as I was. My heart pounded as - for the first time in months - I allowed myself to really look at him. I was always on guard around him - never letting my gaze linger for too long. He was undeniably handsome - that was a given. His blonde curls complimented his golden eyes perfectly. He was the most perfectly gorgeous creature I had ever laid eyes on. The strong features of his face haunted my dreams.

I pulled his hand up to my face and leaned in to feel his skin against my cheek. Yes, he was cold - as all vampires were - but the temperature was an easy price to pay for the overwhelming feeling of contentment his touch brought. I'd spent months wishing that I could even have this much of him. It was all still too dreamlike.

"Carlisle," I managed to whisper, "what happened tonight?"

He took hold of both my hands and pulled them onto the sides of his own face. He closed his eyes and we stood like that for what felt like hours. Content with simply existing together - though with too much uncertainty for us to get closer.

With a long sigh, he let my hands go and looked at me with a palpable longing.

"Do you think it was a mistake?" Pain flashed in his eyes.

"No!" I almost yelled, then steadied myself. "Of course not. I don't know what this is, but it feels… it feels…"

"It feels right."

I nodded.

He pulled me against his chest in a tight embrace. I shivered at the feeling of his breath cascading down my neck. Everything about him was intoxicating. All I wanted was to lose myself in him.

Not yet. Not until I knew for sure what was happening on his end. I needed to get at least some of my questions answered before I gave in to the hunger.

Pushing slightly away from him, I decided to ask the most pressing question first.

"What about Edward and Esme?" I was barely able to say their names without being crushed by a mountain of guilt.

Carlisle's eyes narrowed.

"Did Edward never tell you the truth about Esme and me?" I shook my head, "Well, she is not actually my wife. That's just what we present to the human world. She's been my best friend and confidant for many years, but she has never, ever been a lover. I suppose I'm not surprised Edward let you think otherwise. You don't need to worry about her, though. She's been nothing but supportive ever since I first told her about you."

My heart skipped a beat.

"What? You mean… before tonight?"

He pulled my hands back up to his face and gently kissed each of my knuckles.

"Yes. I had to tell someone. From the very moment we made eye contact I knew there was something between us. Do you remember? We were at the hospital after the accident and I swear - when we looked at each other - there was a… an attraction. But more so, ever since then, there has been this thing between us. This… this…"

"Magnetic pull?" It was my turn to finish his thought. "I felt it, too. I still do. I've spent every day since then trying to ignore it. I thought I was crazy because if you felt it too I thought that you would have - I don't know - that you would have said something about it. Done something about it."

I looked up into his eyes and was lost in a sea of passion.

"What could I have said?" He spoke softly as he brought his lips towards mine. "You were already enamored with Edward. Or, at least, he was with you. From everything he told us, you were both completely in love."

The tiniest bit of malice slipped out when he spoke Edward's name.

"That hadn't even begun yet. Besides, whatever I felt towards him even at our strongest point is entirely inconsequential compared to how I felt for you. How I do feel for you."

This time, I was the one who closed the gap between us.

Our first kiss had demolished any pretense that we did not want each other. It had burned down everything I thought I knew about him. Even about myself. This kiss - this miraculous second kiss - did something else. This kiss ignited the spark from the ashes of the old me. The part of me that always knew, but could not dare to dream that he felt the same way. This kiss sent a wildfire of all-consuming devotion burning through my very soul.

After much too short of a moment, he pulled away so I could breathe, and began kissing my neck.

"Carlisle…" It was such a relief to freely say his name. There was still more to say, but I wanted so badly to just let him kiss me. To let him continue kissing a trail down my neck, my chest, my body. No. Not yet. Not until it's right. "Carlisle, not… not yet."

He pulled his lips off of me at once. "You're worried about Edward?"

"Yes."

"Do you love him?" His tone was steady, but his eyes held a hint of fear.

"I - I think in some way - but not like that. I…"

I struggled to put my feelings about Edward into words. Did I love him? Yes. I loved what Edward had done for me. I loved the world, and family, he had introduced me to. I usually enjoyed his company. But was I in love with him? No. I wasn't. I don't know if I ever was. I hated the way he treated me like an object - a special prize that he could keep on a shelf. Even at the best of times with Edward, I never once felt anything like this. I never once felt the passionate desire that I felt for Carlisle. It was more than desire. I could feel my soul longing, even yearning, for him.

"I have love for Edward in a familial sense," I finally said, "but I am not at all in love with him."

That seemed to be enough for Carlisle. I was hit with a barrage of passionate kisses, his hands suddenly seemed to be everywhere all at once, and before I knew it he backed me against a tree. It took every ounce of my resolve not to give into him as my body was begging to do.

"No," I managed to get out. I pushed on his chest and he graciously backed up - though I knew that if he wanted to, he could devour me right here and I wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. "I am not in love with Edward, but this still isn't right."

He ran a hand through his gold curls and sighed, "I know. I'm sorry for being so forward. I'm usually much more… contained, but I have wanted you for so long, Bella. And - finally finding out that you want me, too - it's too much. I cannot endure another moment without you. Isabella, you're so beautiful. Right down to your soul. Can you not feel that? The force of our souls mel-"

I crushed my lips into his.

"Yes," I whispered in between kisses, "I feel it, too."

And then it happened. I lost myself in him and he lost himself in me. Our bodies were already intertwined, but it was in this moment that our souls converged. Nothing else mattered. Nobody else mattered. It was just me and him lost in each other. I knew that from now on, no matter what happened, I would always be by his side.

"Carlisle..." I moaned.

I don't know how long we stayed there. Pressed against a tree in the dark, hungrily consuming each other. I wanted more. Needed more of him. If not for the lingering guilt, I would have given myself to him fully right then and there.

When we eventually pulled away from our tangled embrace, I felt confident in what we needed to do.

"We need to talk to him. Tonight."

"Of course," but he was already kissing my neck again, "I don't know how he'll take it."

"Couldn't he read your mind? Not just earlier tonight, but any time you thought about me?"

I did not want Edward to find out about us that way, but the cowardly part of me wished it was that easy.

Carlisle laughed and shook his head, "After almost a century with him, I have learned how to keep my secrets. Though I believe he does suspect something. I never had a reason to block him out of my head until I saw you." He moved in for one more deep kiss, then slowly pulled himself off of me. "Let's get this over with. I do not want to waste another second pretending that I'm not wholly infatuated with you."

We took our time walking back toward my house. He kept a guiding hand on me as we navigated the overgrown trail. As we emerged from the woods, I finally felt as though this was real. I'd never been happier.

"I'll meet you in your room and then we'll go," he whispered, kissing me on the cheek before disappearing into the night.

Let me know what you think in a review!