So: there is a story around this. A few years ago, I told this to my sister, and we recorded it. Then I posted a version of the first couple of chapters, but never finished transcribing it. After re-reading, I've decided to dust it off - I've finally got the whole first half transcribed, and I re-edited the earlier chapters to make them better... so, here goes nothing.

As to the possibility of this project being completed: I hope it will be, as I think it's quite funny. Posting this is motivation :). The first story in this series is complete but not transcribed; the story is, at this point, halfway written down. It ended on a pretty satisfying note, no cliffhangers or anything, but I had had thoughts of continuing, so there will be some unresolved threads of the sort that might tie into a larger arc. Hopefully, though, it stands on its own.

THIS IS A RE-EDITED VERSION OF CHAPTER ONE

Chapter One: The Strange Girl

One day, about halfway through Sixth Year, Harry Potter was in the Hogwarts library working on a comparison/contrast essay for history. He was trying to write it, but he didn't know anything about the subject he was supposed to write about (because Professor Binns was so boring). So, he would look at Hermione's notes, then back at his essay, then back at her notes, and try to think of something intelligent to say.

He hoped it would at least be better than Ron's essay. (Sometimes Ron put very strange things at the end of his essays, because he had run out of things to talk about and still had a couple of inches left.)

Just then, a strange girl he didn't recognize came in. She walked straight to Harry, and glared at him. Then she spoke. "It's all your fault!"

"What?" Harry asked.

"It's all your fault!" she repeated, drawing her wand and pointing it at Harry.

"Calm down," said Harry, leaning away. "What's my fault?"

But she wouldn't say anything else. She only tried to attack Harry. Harry drew his own wand and faced off with her, and Ron and Hermione grabbed her arms. After a brief struggle, she stopped fighting, but still glared at him.

"What is my fault?" he asked. But she said nothing.

Eventually, they decided to take her to the hospital wing. Madam Pomphrey put her on a bed, and tried to figure out who she was, and what was going on. No one had any idea of who the strange girl might be. She should have been a Muggle, since nobody had heard of her, but she had a wand—and seemed to know how to use it. They couldn't even use her wand for identification, as she wouldn't let anyone within three feet of her.

Finally Dumbledore came, and they did what they always did when they didn't know what to do (instead of doing something that might actually be of any use) they put her under the Sorting Hat.

The Sorting Hat started to say something, but then she frowned. The Hat stopped.

It started to say something else, but she frowned even harder, and it didn't speak.

After a few moments it made to speak again, but she scowled.

Finally, the Hat said, grudgingly, "Gryffindor."

Then it sulked, and wouldn't speak to anybody.

Hermione was very happy about the girl getting into Gryffindor (Not.) She thought the girl might mean to murder Harry in his bed. So she decided to stay awake and make sure she didn't go anywhere. Hermione stayed up for one hour. The girl didn't go anywhere.

Hermione stayed up for another hour. The girl still didn't go anywhere. Hermione was getting tired.

Hermione stayed up for another hour. The girl still didn't go anywhere.

Hermione was yawning.

Hermione stayed up for yet another hour. The girl stayed in bed. Hermione's eyes were drooping.

Hermione stayed up for another hour. She woke up when she fell off her bed and onto the floor. The girl was nowhere to be seen.

Hermione raced down the steps and through the common room, up the stairs and into the boys' dormitory. She ran to Harry's bed and pulled the curtain wide, drawing her wand and pointing it at—

Harry woke up with Hermione's wand an inch from his nose. "Hermione, what are you doing?" he asked.

Hermione told him her suspicions. They woke up Ron, and crept down to the common room. Harry took his invisibility cloak with him. They decided to go out and follow the girl.

They went out the portrait hole and through the corridors. They sneaked this way and that way, trying to find the girl. But they didn't find her. Then, they heard someone's voice—it was Voldemort's. What was Voldemort doing in Hogwarts?! They looked at each other, and peered around the corner.

.

.

.