"…I swear".

What could she say? She knew full well he was lying to her; it wasn't exactly difficult to put two-and-two together. You don't go from going through… everything they had gone through, to waking up from being drugged, in a hospital operating gown, being driven out of town with no explanation. Something was wrong, and Joel was lying to her. It surprised her how upset that lie made her, and by extension, how frustrated and angry she became at Joel. Why couldn't he just be honest with her?

It was blatantly obvious now they would've had to operate on her to get the cure; otherwise they wouldn't have needed to dress her in a gown and put her under. But why? The infection attacks the brain, she knew that much, did they really need to open her head? It was a scary thought; she certainly hadn't thought they'd need to do that. Would she have been the same person when they got the cure from her? Would they even have survived the operation? It didn't matter now. Joel had made that choice for her. He had saved her. She didn't know from what, but he'd done it…and condemned the human race at the same time.

But why? She'd spent her entire life on her own, with no one to give a damn about her, no one to… well. Safe to say the only brief respite in her life had been Riley, and she'd died thanks to this god damned infection, too. Tess, Sam, all of them apart from her. She had nothing to live for; no one to live for. The Cordyceps had taken everything from her; there was no excuse not to give her life for a cure, and eradicate the damned infection once and for all. She'd spent her entire life stranded and alone for this cure; it was her chance to finally give meaning to her life, and make sure that everyone's deaths weren't meaningless. That everything they'd been through hadn't been meaningless. But Joel had taken that choice from her.

But…that wasn't quite true, was it? Ever since the hospital there had been something in her head, niggling away at her, threatening to get out. The only thing stopping her thinking about it was her obsession over thinking about what might've happened. It consumed her, and had made her quiet and reserved, she knew that. Joel must've noiticed it, that was the only explanation as to why he was rambling about how great and perfect life was going to be when they got to Tommy's. But the more she spent time with him, the more she realised she was allowing her feelings to take over, and recognise she was becoming how Joel used to be. Reserved. Resentful.

The more she thought like that, and the more Joel opened up, the harder she found it to suppress that niggling feeling. It was eating her up. She couldn't help but wonder, if she was truly, truly annoyed with Joel for lying, why had she waited until now, the very last leg of their journey back to Tommy's, to question him? She'd angrily told herself a dozen times on the way from Salt Lake City that she should just force him to tell the truth, but instead she'd waited all this time. She knew why; it was because now she had comfort and security ahead, while unknown danger, sacrifice and god knows what else behind her. She knew that she only dared to ask now because she was scared he might admit he lied and tell her the truth, and that she would feel obligated again to seek out the cure. What did that say about her? Was she weak? Did the reason even matter anymore?

She tried to reassure herself; of course, the Fireflies hardly gave her a choice either. In a way they were as selfish as Joel; she'd never even seen the hospital never mind anyone inside, they'd drugged her up and got ready to dig in her head the first chance they got. Like she was just a means to an end. But she still couldn't shake this niggling feeling.

She looked at Joel now as he wandered lazily through the forest. You'd never think this man babbling about guitars and swimming was the same tired, disillusioned, resentful individual she'd met back in Boston. He'd changed. He'd clearly found something that had changed him, and Ellie knew that thing was her. He'd found purpose again through her, almost like contrary to his words last fall, he really did see her as his daughter, now. After all, she only had to think about everything he'd done for her. She didn't know how that made her feel.

Ellie suddenly realised, looking at Joel, that his actions at the hospital were never about making her mind up for her. They weren't even about saving or condemning the human race. When he saved her, he was simply doing the one thing that was more important to him than anything else in the world - he was protecting her. This realisation shocked her; that he would go that far to keep her safe, even when she didn't want him to. She cringed to think what would happen to Joel if he lost another daughter; it had taken him 20 years and one hell of an ordeal to let down his wall and care about someone else. If Joel was anything he was stubborn, and she knew he'd rather die than let anything bad happen to her, even if the human race was at stake. Well, she thought, that's what caring for someone means, right?

But; he'd lied to her. Sure he was trying to protect her, but it was still a betrayal of her trust, a trust that she didn't even know she had in her heart to give. She really had been alone all her life, with the only guiding words written by her mother on the day she died. "Life is worth the living", she said. Eerily similar to Joel's remarks about finding something to live for, both trying to convince her that she should enjoy life and cherish it; hold on as long as she could. But that wasn't the point. It wasn't about finding something to live for because she'd never had anything to live for. For as long as she can remember people had only wanted to use her for their own ends. Be it a military grunt, a cure for everyone's problems, or just…food. Even Marlene; her mother's best friend, just saw her as a tool to advance her own schemes;no one had ever been there just for the sake of being there. Just to…help her. Anyone that had was already dead, or had left a long time ago. So who cares if she lives or dies?

The niggle came back with that last thought, even stronger this time. But that's not true, is it, Ellie? It said. This last year someone had looked out for her, hadn't they? She had found something to live for, someone who was willing to die for her not because she was important to the world, but because she was important to him. Joel had found someone worth caring about again for the first time in 20 years, and she had accepted his care with open arms. Hell, he'd tried to convince her to drop the journey and go home before they'd even finished; what was that if not caring for someone? Was it fair to say she still had nothing to live for?

The truth was, she'd had plenty of time on the journey back to think things through, and she still didn't know what side to land on. Maybe the Fireflies were wrong after all. Even if they did get a cure; what would it do? If there's one thing Ellie had learned from her journey it was that the infected weren't the only monsters out there. What were the chances that the hunters would just hang up their guns and come over for tea if the cure was successful? As if she had to work them out. Probably the only thing the cure would do is make it easier for people to get on with killing and eating each other.

She just wished Joel hadn't lied to her. It had taken her 15 years to find someone to make her feel wanted, and no sooner had she realised that and he was already betraying her by being dishonest. She wished she could turn back time and undo it all so she could trust him again and start off on the right foot. As it was, she needed to make up her mind whether she was going to forgive him, or confront him. And she'd better do it soon, because it was already eating her up inside. She could tell, and so could Joel.

For now, at least, she resolved, for the first time in her life, she could be safe. Properly safe, and probably happy too, if that's what she wanted. She could stay at Tommy and Maria's and figure things out, and start making a few decisions by herself for once. Until she knew how to react to his dishonesty, she resolved to be thankful for his protection and care, and remember that he really would do anything for her, no matter what the cost. For the first time in her life she had someone to look out for her, and she wasn't going to waste that.

"I swear", he had said.

"…okay", she replied.

Whether she could accept her new family or not, was another story.

Joel nodded, and turned back to the town.

She knew full well he was lying; he could see it on her face. It broke his heart to see Ellie standing there, but there was no other option. He wasn't going to tell her the truth any time soon, he knew that much. After everything they'd been through, a hoard of bloaters wasn't going to stop him from protecting her, even from herself. The similarity between Ellie and Sarah really was striking, and how many times had he seen that look on Sarah's face, too? She'd been just as wilful back then, wanting to take the world on, do everything at once and not think of the consequences. Joel knew all too well that being a parent meant sometimes having to take one for the team, and it was his job now to not let Ellie think that she was to blame. Even if it meant that Ellie lost faith in him for a time, it was always better than the alternative, and Joel would earn that trust back. He vowed to himself, he would work to earn the trust of that girl for the rest of his days, if only it meant she never found out the truth.

It didn't even matter if she believed him, as long as she didn't know what had almost happened to her in that operating room. What he'd had to do. All that would do is bring back everything, her guilt, and her misplaced determination that she had to do the right thing. Even though deep down she'd never want to sacrifice herself, she'd feel like she'd have to. This was a better way; to tell this one lie and bear the consequences so she could finally let go of her history, and finally seize that one thing that she'd always wanted but never had in her tumultuous 14 years in this devastated world; love. Joel knew Ellie feared being alone more than anything else in the world, but now she was here, she could finally be safe, surrounded by people who wanted to help and protect her, instead of use her and dispose of her as nothing more than a means to the end. Here she would see no more violence, no more desperate yet necessary acts of brutality; Joel thought with pride that she'd never again have to be alone. Even if Ellie didn't believe him, even if she hated him for it, he didn't care. The lie was worth that much, at least, if he could give her all she'd ever wanted, and abolish her fears forever.

They walked down the final path to the town in silence, a sudden air of tension between the two of them. While the birds sung in the trees, the sun beat down through the leaves, proclaiming together that summer had truly arrived. Joel watched as Ellie, a few paces in front, idly ran her hand over a fallen tree trunk, before snatching a dead twig from the ground next to it and absentmindedly swatting at the tall grass. He guiltily wondered what thoughts must be running through her head right now.

Time enough for that soon, he thought. After months on the road, and over a year of trials, hardship, loss and discovery, they were almost home.

As they reached the closed and barred gate, Joel could already see significant differences in the area. The whole place looked….cleaner. The fortifications had been extended, guard towers had been erected; the whole area seemed more efficient, and most importantly, more lively. It looked like Tommy and Maria had been putting the dam's resources to good use. Joel went to knock on the huge steel gate, eager to see his brother and put an end to this journey; put an end to Ellie's hardship once and for all.

But before he could get close to the gate, a voice rang out above him.

"You! Stay where you are! Don't move a muscle!"

A guard had appeared on the parapet above the gate; rifle aimed squarely at Joel's head. Joel raised his hands slowly and stepped back from the gate, as he quietly ushered Ellie close to him; her stick abruptly forgotten on the floor. Noticing the guard was but a boy, Joel called up to him;

"Easy kid, we don't mean no harm. We're friends.", said Joel.

"Yeah? Whose friends?" the boy nervously replied, his rifle waving in agitation.

"Tommy and Maria", Joel replied cautiously; "Tommy's my brother." He knew he had to tread carefully. Him and Tess had dealt with their fair share of over overzealous guards in the past; an unexpectedly dangerous bunch. Seasoned fighters were easy to predict; could be reasoned with, but boys like this were unpredictable and prone to let their nerves get the better of them. Thinking you could bully them around due to their inexperience was likely a sure fire way to get a bullet in the neck.

"Hah! You just want me to go and fetch the two most important people in the town just for you two? Sure! Maybe after that I'll go and play hide and seek with a clicker too!"

Joel turned to roll his eyes at Ellie, but before he could say anything else she'd already stormed right up to the front of the gate.

"Hey, this is Tommy's brother, shithead, and he helped save this town just last year!" She yelled, pointing an accusing finger up at the now visibly perturbed guard.

"Ellie –" Joel began,

"…we've travelled halfway across the country to get here, and faced things much worse than you on the way, so you'd better show some god damned respect and either open this gate or find someone who actually knows what they're doing!"

Stunned, the guard was momentarily speechless. No doubt he had no idea what to think about being berated by a girl he'd never met. He was the one that was supposed to be doing the berating. Quickly he regained his composure;

"I don't care if you've travelled from Europe to get here, I've never seen your face before, girl, or his, so if you think I'm going to do anything apart from tell you to go back to where you belong, well you've got another thing coming!"

"Good god", Joel muttered. Who talks like that? He waved his hand at Ellie. "Come back here, don't aggravate him." His hand resting on Ellie's shoulder next to him, he spoke to the guard. "And as for you; how many hunters have you seen with teenage girls, before? If we really were hunters, you think we'd simply stroll up to the gate and put ourselves at your mercy? Listen to me; we're freindlies. Send someone to go and find Tommy and tell them Joel is here. If he doesn't run straight to this gate himself, I'll leave and never come back."

"Joel!" Ellie started, spreading her arms wide in defiance.

"Trust me, Ellie", murmured Joel, not taking his eyes off the kid.

The guard, clearly disturbed by this turn of events, said nothing as a wave of indecisiveness crossed his face. Finally, he turned to say something incoherent to someone behind the gates, before quickly bringing his rifle back up to aim at Joel.

"Just keep your hands where I can see them. I see you reach for that rifle of yours, I won't hesitate to shoot"

"Of course you won't" sighed Joel, omitting to mention the two revolvers, shotgun, nail bombs and molotovs that were in his backpack.

"Jeez," mumbled Ellie, scowling defiantly "'Keep your hands where I can see them?' Who is this guy?"

"Just be patient; sounds like we're in business," Joel murmured back.

"Uh-huh".

"Take a look around out here. Look at those burn marks on the grass, and these shell casings. They're being too overcautious; I'd bet they've had trouble here; and recently too, by the looks of it."

It was true as well, there had been trouble here. Hunters or infected, he couldn't tell, but at least now he understood the expanded fortifications. Joel hoped this place was as safe as he'd thought it would be.

A short while later, the two of them heard sounds of shouting. As the voices came into hearing; he heard people rapidly approaching the gate.

"…almost a year ago you damned useless fool, what do you expect! Go, help them get those gates open before I throw you both in the reservoir!"

Joel and Ellie looked at each other; that voice could only belong to one person. Tommy.

Suddenly, the gate gave a shriek of ungreased metal, and began to open inwards. There was barely enough of a gap for a man to walk through sideways before Tommy himself strode out of the gate, with a look of pure joy on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he started he saw Ellie, and stopped in his tracks. Joy turned to astonishment, which finally gave way to a huge grin on his face as he looked at the two dirty, bedraggled people stood before him. "You son of a gun", he said as he rushed forward to embrace his big brother,

Just like he had so many months ago.

Ellie watched on while the two men patted each other's backs, and then as quickly as it started the show of affection was over, and Tommy held Joel by the shoulders.

"You two are a sight for sore eyes; look like you've been trampled by a horse" he chuckled.

"Yeah, well, not all of us have the luxury of electricity you know; some of us have to make do", retorted Joel, a twinkle in his eye.

"Sure, my heart bleeds for ya", Tommy joked, but though he smiled, his eyes were full of sorrow, as he suddenly said; "I thought I'd never see you again, brother".

"Yeah", replied Joel, looking at Ellie. "Us neither."

Chapter 2 coming soon