CHAPTER FORTY

We stop at the hotel for Al and Cam to get out with their shopping from the day, and even once they have taken their bags out the luggage compartment of the Cadillac is still crammed full.

"Come over for dinner tomorrow." Donna orders just before we pull away.

Al and Cam nod as they open the door to the room they're sharing and through the gap I can see its spotless, knowing Cam, and having lived with her, Al's been doing a clean of the room at least once a day to keep the chaos contained.

We stop at the Winston's where Opie and Jax are roped into helping us take the bags in. I'm not surprised when Jax ends up carrying one the Victoria's Secret bags and accidentally spills its contents over the bed.

"Oops." He doesn't sound apologetic at all, but I head over to put the bits of lace back in the bag but accidentally, maybe on purpose, forget to grab a purple lace thong set.

Jax leans over, picks it up and hands it to me, "You missed one." His voice is rough and I glance up in his eyes, I guess the tormenting him at the store wasn't such a good idea after all.

He heads back out to the living room and I sit on the bed for a minute contemplating the piles of bags around me and what exactly I'm going to do with them at the moment.

After deciding to just put them all in the wardrobe to deal with later I go towards the master bedroom where Donna is just putting the last of her purchases away.

"I'm ready when you are." I tell her.

"Sure, I'll be done in a second." she looks over her shoulder, "You okay?"

"I'm good, poorer but good. Though I'm not sure if Jax found the humour in today's expedition."

"I'm sure he'll be fine, and when he pulls his head out of his ass he'll reap the rewards from today."

"Yeah I know he will, but I'm just worried that I might have pushed our progress backwards."

"I doubt it, in fact it might just be the push that Jax needs to get over Tara completely and be ready to move on."

"I guess D, but I still am not going to do anything yet. I know I have to go to the parties in the weekend, cause my babysitters will be there, but I'm hoping I can hide somewhere."

"You'll change your mind I'm sure."

I shrug, "Who knows."

Donna puts the last pair of shoes in the wardrobe and we head down the hall, the guys are sitting in the living room waiting for us but when we walk in the door they both get up and follow us out the door.

Hopping back in the car we're at the garage fairly fast after only one stop to fill the fuel tank. Handing the car keys back to Gemma. "Not a scratch, I even filled it up for you on the way back."

"I know you wouldn't have scratched it. I was kidding baby." Gemma smiles at me and motions to the couch in the corner. "Have a seat and tell me what you brought."

I go over what I brought with her and Donna walks in just as I'm going over the incident at the lingerie shop, where she takes over the tale.

"Sarah was getting changed and Al didn't realise she wasn't decent and opened the curtain. Unfortunately Jax's attention was drawn when Sarah screamed, and...Well...Jax got an eyeful of her in her underwear."

"Please, I wasn't in my underwear, I had on jeans and a top."

"I wouldn't call that black and red lacy thing a top." Jax says from the doorway. "I wear more than that when I'm sleeping."

Gemma raises an eyebrow at me. "Okay," I confess, "It was red and black and lacy and probably not acceptable as clothing unless you're at work and your profession involves a pole. But it's gorgeous."

Gemma doesn't say anything else but just nods.

Jax turns and storms off towards the bays.

Gemma stands up and comes over, "I'm sure it'll be okay."

My head snaps in the direction of the bay where Jax went as we both hear a loud crash; Jax has put a spanner through the back window of the piece of shit car that Blondie 1 left here after the party on Saturday night saying it needed some work.

Clay heads in Jax's direction and I turn back to Gemma, I can feel the tears starting to well in my eyes. "I'm pretty sure it's all fucked Gem."

Gemma wraps her hands over my shoulders and looks straight in my eyes. "It'll be alright baby girl, you'll see."

I want to believe her, but I'm honestly not sure if I can. I feel like everything has gone to shit in one day, or even one second.

We only spend about an hour at the garage, long enough for Opie to make sure the work is finished on Donna's car, it is which I am grateful for as it means I don't have to ride on Jax's bike again, I think after the day the day I've had today I would have rather walked back to the Winston's house then get on the back of Jax's bike.

Arriving back at the house at 5:30 the first thing I do is open the fridge and pull out the wine that's been in there a few days. Pouring a glass I down half of it in one long swallow then top it up, pouring a second glass just as Donna comes in I hand it to her and carry the 3 beers out to where Opie, Jax and Happy have sat themselves in the living room.

"Thanks." Opie says as I hand the bottle to him. Happy just gives me a nod.

Jax doesn't say a word so I just spin around and go back into the kitchen. Grabbing my glass I from the counter I take it and the bottle to the table and sit down heavily.

Donna opens the fridge and starts pulling out stuff for dinner while I sit and drown myself in wine, by the time she's sliced vegetables for the salad I'd planned to have with baked potatoes and steak for dinner I've finished 2 glasses of wine and started on a third.

By the time dinner is ready, which I've left entirely for Donna to prepare I've finished the bottle of wine I opened when we got back and I'm half way through another, and I still haven't said a word.

Donna goes to tell the guys that dinner is ready and by the time they have sat themselves at the table I've drunk another glass of wine. Looking down at the food Donna's made all I can force myself to eat is a little salad and a few forkfuls of potato and steak.

Opting instead to empty the second bottle of wine into my glass I push myself away from the table, "Sorry D, just not hungry." I know my speech is slurred, I can tell that myself, and I can also feel the flush my cheeks have always gotten when I have more than a couple of drinks.

Heading round the table I stop and crouch by Happy, reaching into his Kutte he, and Jax, look stunned, till I pull out the little baggy that Happy carries his pot and papers in.

Giving Hap a kiss on the cheek I take the bag outside with me.

Sitting on one of the outdoor chairs I'm not alone for long before a hand grabs the joint that I've just rolled and lit.

Opie sits down at my feet, "What's up?" He takes a massive draw before handing the glowing tube back to me.

Stopping to inhale a lungful of smoke before speaking, "Just annoyed at myself."

"Why"

"I thought today was going good, but for some reason Jax is beyond pissed at me." Another lungful and I had the shortened roll back to Ope.

Opie laughs which startles me and I almost drop the burning end of the joint onto his hand. "Oh Sarah, he's not pissed at you. Not at all."

I know my eyebrows shoot up to my hairline, "Really. Well he could have fucken fooled me."

"Tell me, what was that shit at the mall, I knew it was planned, but Jax thinks it was an accident."

The alcohol and drugs in my system make me open my mouth before I can think, "We did plan it, I guess I was hoping it would give Jax a kick in the ass."

"It certainly did just that. He's not pissed at you, he's been trying to stop himself dragging you off somewhere and fucking you till you can't walk." Opie's bluntness makes me sit back in the chair.

"Who said I'm not waiting for him to do exactly that."

Opie's eyes rise to the door behind me, "Told you so bro."

I turn in my seat and see Jax standing in the doorway, "Oh fuck me." I groan, I hadn't even considered that he'd be listening.