CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

AN: It was pointed out that I forgot to mention how Doj was with the destruction. I picture that Sarah wouldn't have been happy to have him in the house when no one was there so would have had him walked to Gemma's so he could be there with the kids, so he was not at the Winston's. Sorry for not mentioning that anywhere in the previous chapters.

Also, I've decided that 5 reviews will mean posting of the next chapter.

By the time we get back to Clay and Gemma's I'm stuck in my own thoughts as to why Craig left the kids room alone, and why he'd made such a mess of the rest of the house. Opening the door Opie helps his wife down from the car and I gingerly twist out of the car, Donna had been shoved into the passenger's seat as we left, her control finally seemed to have snapped as she loaded the last bag in the car and she'd burst into tears.

Walking through the door into the living room I see Kenny and Ellie happily playing with Doj in the corner, laughing and squealing when his massive tongue slaps at their hands. The pair of them are completely aware of the chaos that I have brought on their family. Barely holding back a sigh Clay comes into the room from the kitchen.

"So we've figured out what we're going to do. It's not going to be fun but until this situation is dealt with Ope you and Donna will be staying here with the kids. Gemma's sorted the spare room for you. Tig will still be staying here with us as well."

Donna and Opie both nod, I know they'll be happy to be with their kids, but I'm dreading what will come next, am I finally going to get the marching orders issued?

Clay sits down heavily in his armchair and turns to the rest of us. "Tig, you'll still be staying here, you're gonna be in Jax's old room."

The SAA nods his head and says, "Wouldn't be anywhere else."

"Sarah, you're the main issue here." he stops speaking for a few seconds and I use that opportunity to speak myself, hoping if I make the suggestion it will be easier for the club to deal with.

"I'll go get my car tomorrow and leave town. Hopefully Craig will follow me and you guys can go back to normal." The stifled sob that escapes me mid-sentence is ignored by everyone, but Donna jumping to her feet and storming over isn't.

She stops right by where I'm still standing and slaps me hard across the face. "You bitch." She turns and leaves the room and I'm stunned as Gemma shakes her head at me and follows her down the hall.

I'm not worried about Donna's reaction, I knew the destruction to her house would take a while to sink in, apparently it just did. But as I look around the bikers in the room I feel like running out the door and not looking back. Every pair of eyes that are on me is furious and I swallow hard as Clay stands up and stalks over.

His footsteps bring him within arm's reach of me but instead of man-handling me out the door he sits on the arm of the couch right beside me and shakes his head, "You have just started a shit storm right there. Do you honestly think that either of those women down there are going to let you feed yourself to the wolf? The shit that was damaged and I get that it was horrible, was just stuff. You're as close to a daughter that Gemma has ever had. I told you how destroyed she was when you left but the second things get hard you want to run away again. And Donna, well she was your best-friend, your sister, your balance and you just told her that the destruction of her house was for nothing." Clay shakes his head as he gets to his feet and I can't help myself but start speaking again.

"You don't get it do you, none of you do." I look into the eyes of the leather clad men round the room. Meeting Happy and Tig's gazes are the hardest as they're both looking like they want to skin me alive. Opie doesn't look that much happier. The other Sons look really disappointed but Jax is glaring at me like I've just kicked a puppy in order to get to a baby and steal its ice cream. "I'm doing this to protect you all, Craig isn't going to give up on me. He's going to continue to rip apart all of your lives until you're ready to give me to him without any arguments. How are you and Donna meant to replace everything that he destroyed because I was a coward and came running back here dragging my problems behind me?"

I stop for a second, attempting to gather my thoughts before I continue. "I love you all, every single one of you means more to me then I think you'll ever know and that is why I have to leave. I can't have your lives destroyed, or ended because of me."

I sag against the wall, any fight that I had has left me in a second and I stare at the ground. A few seconds later a pair of bare feet appears in my eye line, following the legs and body up to the face I meet Donna's eyes. Her face is flushed and she looks furious. I brace myself to be slapped again, but it doesn't come, instead she opens her mouth to speak and the voice that comes out is so sad it's depressing.

"You can't leave Sarah. I won't let you. That bastard destroyed my house, he destroyed almost everything I own but I am NOT going to let him have you. You think you came back here cowardly, well I think that coming back was harder than staying would have been. You've had to explain to every person in this room about the abuse you had at that man's hand. I know you Sarah, we've been best friends for years, and I know that would have been harder on you then losing your parents was."

Donna meets my eyes and a tear slides down the tracks on her cheek. "Like Clay said, the stuff that was destroyed is just stuff. We'll replace what we can, and if we can't replace it then we didn't need it, but I can't replace my best friend."

I want to kick myself for making her feel as bad as she does but her next words make me smile despite the room full of bikers around us, "As much as said best friend has been a bitch and wanted to run away lately there's no way she'd get outside city limits before she'd be being stuffed in a trunk and dragged back."

Donna leans over and hugs me tightly whispering in my ear, "Besides, tall blonde and brooding over there won't be tolerable if you go again."

"I'm sorry D." I tell her, pulling back from our hug, looking over her shoulder I see Gemma standing in the doorway and meeting her eyes I see she's heard everything that's just been said.

When Donna let's go of me I walk over to Gemma preparing to make yet another apology, but she surprises me by pulling me into her arms and saying loud enough for everyone to hear, "I get it baby, you're trying in your own misguided, stupid way to protect us from what you believe you deserve."

I can barely nod my head into her shoulder, she's gotten exactly what I was trying to do, and I know why to. She would have done the same thing if she'd been in my shoes.

Clay clears his throat, "If everyone is over the guilt grabbing insanity that was Sarah's last statement…which we shall ignore as the idiocy that it was…can I finish?"

I turn my head so it's resting against Gemma's shoulder, I'm not quite ready to let go of her yet, and as if she knows that she hugs me just a little tighter.

"So Donna and Opie will be here with the kids and Tig which leaves the centre of all this mess to be sorted. Jax?" Clay raises an eyebrow at his step-son who seems to click a second before I do what he's being asked.

His eyes widen slightly and his posture tenses a little as he opens his mouth, "Yeah?"

"You going to be okay with a house guest, or two?" Clay says, and I know it's not a question. Gemma feels me tense and she raises a hand and runs in through my hair.

Jax nods shortly, "Who?"

"Sarah, obviously, and Hap if he's okay with it." Clay says.

"Fuck yeah, cupcakes!" Happy makes me grin; he's not normally one for being enthusiastic about anything other than causing pain. The fact that tiny little cakes could make him so well, happy, makes my shoulders shake with laughter.

I stop giggling and look over at the 'mean angry biker' "That depends on what Jax's oven is like of course. I can't bake in a shitty oven."

Happy walks over and leans really close to my face, "I will make him buy you a new oven if I have to cupcake."

I burst into laughter but manage to nod my head. Looking over his shoulder I see Jax has managed to crack a smile, but it's not a full smile, and he won't meet my eyes now. Jax turns to Clay and says, "One problem, the dog can't come. My yard's not big enough for that monster."

Clay nods, "He'll stay here then, I think Gem's attached to him."

I grin; my furry animal has a talent of making people love him, almost as if he wants to prove it he gets to his feet and trots across the room, dropping his giant head in Clay's lap.

Clay shakes his head and sets one of his hands on the top of his head, scratching lightly between his eyes. Rolling his eyes at me he tells me to take Gemma's car to Jax's so I can unload my gear before bringing the car back, I motion down at my leg which is looking a little red, "Umm, Clay I'm a little sore and driving was not easy. Any chance someone can come over with me and bring the car back?"

The wrapping that's covering my leg is sliding on the layer of ink and blood that has oozed from my skin, but my leg is starting to feel sore and I'd like nothing more than to have a shower, rinse it off and go to sleep.

"I'll go over with her in the car and bring it back if that's cool with Gemma of course." Kip says from where he's standing leaning against the wall, his top rocker only barely on his kutte.

Clay nods and I untangle myself from Gemma's hug and follow him out the door. Jax stomps over to his bike and is gone before I can even get my door closed and the seat belt on.