Authors Note:

This is my first ever try at writing fanfictions. Maybe I will never publish this work but I have always wanted to try my hand at writing. Since English is my second language any constructive criticism and advice is welcome with open arms.

chapter 1: An orpan's way of looking at things

Harry Potter looked outside the window of his train carriage lost deep in his thoughts. His two best friends were in the prefects carriage leaving him alone to dwell on his dark thoughts.The train was nearing hogwarts a suppposedly magical and wondrous school which was also his second home. A school where his fellow student a jovial and kind ,young Cedric Diggory had been murdered in cold blood. It had been his first experience with war . The possibility of death had never been considered by his brain and so Cedric's death had struck him quite hard. Although having been constant target and a major character in this war he was stuck in due to some blasted prophecy ,Harry was but a child. He could not say that he was really close to Cedric but he had known the boy and had even shared a comaradie with him in the tournament.He often thought of how, if he had taken the cup for himself Cedric might still be alive. Subconciously Harry knew it was no use mourning the dead. After all they did never come back as he already knew from the countless times he had wished for his parents. How he had longed for just one look at them, just one small conversation, to know their names and for them to tell him they loved him and would look out for him. Looking at pictures given to him by people who exclaimed how great friends they were with his parents and how they had known him when he was a baby was not sufficient because he frequently wondered where they were when he was locked in the cupboard under the stairs hungry and scared. All alone. Sometimes he wondered who left him with the Dursleys without once checking on him . At other times his darker side took over and he wanted to subject that person to hell. But no matter what the situation he always seemed to come to the same conclusion maybe things were so difficult because he was an orphan with no parents, no one having his and only his best interests at heart. His thoughts moved to the dementor incidence where dementors had attacked him and him cousin but instead of being appreciated for saving his and another boy's life by his talent for advanced magic, Harry had instead been condemned to punishment and ridicule and had been called an attention seeking brat and a liar. Harry had wanted support and he had been condemned to a hell hole . He was as usual all alone.

This summer had brought drastic changes in his way of thinking and going about life. His continuous mistreatment in both the wizarding and muggle world had turned him bitter. He had sat on his mangy bed at privet drive and thought about all that had ever happened to him. For the first time ever Harry had stopped looking up to Dumbledore. Harry thought about his first year and Dumbledores planned scheme to lure voldemort to a school full of children. About his second year and how Dumbledore had not stopped students from bullying harry even though he knew that the heir of slytherin was voldemort. And a twelve year old had to rid the school of the basilisk . In his third year again children had to save innocent people instead of Dumbledore who could have gotten sirius a trial and insisted on veritaserum. It seemed that Dumbledore was more interested in his fight with Voldemort than his real job as a headmaster of a school and as a chief wizard of the wizengamot. Yes , Dumbledore liked ruling from the shadows. Something had snapped in Harry. Maybe he had stopped waiting for adults to save him. And he knew he had to fight back to survive.That summer when Dudley tried to bully him harry pelted them with stones hard enough to temporarily maim. While this had gotten him serious punishments with his aunt and uncle and Dudley had beaten him Harry was proud to say he gave as hard as got.