Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu. Oregairu is a property of Watari Wataru
A/N: Ok so this FanFiction is inspired by darms8man fanfic "My Teen Romantic Comedy was Different", I really liked the idea of Yumiko and Hachiman together since the beginning and with what I am doing, ill be going through every episode of season one (condensed into two-three chapters per episode) and retelling the story of Oregairu but with Yumiko playing a much bigger role.
Chapter 1: Our Youth Romantic Comedy Is Somewhat Wrong, As Expected.
(POV Hikigaya)
"Youth is a lie. It is nothing but evil.
Those of you who rejoice in youth are perpetually deceiving yourselves and those around you. You perceive everything about reality surrounding you in a positive light. Even life-threatening mistakes will be remembered as single page proofs of your youth.
I'll give you an example. If such people were to dabble in criminal acts such as shoplifting or mass rioting, it would be called 'youthful indiscretion.' if they were to fail an exam, they would say school is not only a place for studying. Their pursuit of 'youth' excuses even distortions of commonly held beliefs and social norms. Under their discretion, lies, secrets, crimes and even failure are nothing but the spice of one's youth. And in their corrupt ways, they discover something peculiar about failure. They conclude that that while their own failures are generally a part of relishing in youth, others' failures should be shot down as just failures and nothing more. If failure is seen as proof of one's youth, isn't it strange not to consider those who fail to make friends as experiencing the height of their youth? Not that they acknowledge that.
It amounts to nothing. This is simply opportunism. Therefore, it is a sham, full of damnable lies, deception, secret and fraud.
They are evil.
That is to say, ironic as it is, those who do not glorify their youth are the truly righteous ones.
In conclusion: riajuu, go blow yourselves up."
"You know…. You're the one who needs to go and blow up."
'Ouch! That one hurt.'
Currently, i'm in the teachers lounge, standing in front of my homeroom/literature teacher Hiratsuka Shizuka, as she has so nicely read out the essay that she has assigned to me.
"So Hikigaya, remind me again what I assigned you to put in this essay?" she says in a tired tone.
"Well….." I started " you asked us to write an essay looking back on our high-school days." I say. Quite honestly I don't get why she assigned it to us. We are only in our second year and my first year of high-school has nothing very interesting about it, other than that, but I doubt it's worth mentioning.
"Right… and how exactly did that lead into you turning in this god awful essay, like seriously?! What is this?"
"Well…"
"Urgh! Never mind." she says as she slumps back into her chair, she's definitely annoyed.
"Look at you, you have the eyes of a dead fish." she comments.
Great, that's another person I know that compares me to a dead fish. come on! I get enough of that from komachi and her. Are they really that bad?
"I really look that rich in omega threes? Guess that makes me look pretty smart." I say and smugly grin, which is a decision I should have reconsidered.
"I'm being serious Hikigaya." Sensei says to me in a deadly tone…
"B...But I am looking back at my high-school days, just like you said! I mean isn't that how most people think?" I say with a bit of fear, geez, this woman is scary, 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" guess she was right about that little fact.
"Oi you little brat! Just cut the crap alright?"
Brat?
"Brat? Well I guess from someone your age I can see how someone can….." before I can finish I feel a gust of wind right at my side and see a very angry launch her fist right at me, just barely missing my face and go off to the left side of it.
"What was that about my age Hikigaya?" she says, her eyes glowing with rage.
"Ahhh this is scary!'
Guess she was right about me watching my tongue when around others.
"S..sorry." I said to her.
she pulls back her fist and sits back down into her chair.
"I'll rewrite the…" I start but then notice her just stare at me with her holding her chin… I have a bad feeling about what exactly she's thinking of.
She then gives me a small smile.
"Looks like you'd better just come with me." she says in a calm manner. Ahhhh I really don't like the sound of this. Just where in the heck is she gonna bring me?
She soon just starts walking towards the exit of the teachers lounge. Probably smart if I follow.
As we go through the hallways I notice that we are heading towards the special building where they have most of the schools clubs and extracurricular activities.
Suddenly I felt a vibration in my pocket. I reached into it pulling out and seeing that it was my phone, and that I got a message from someone.
"Hey where are you? Why is it taking so long in the teachers lounge? What did you do this time to piss off Hirastsuka-sensei so much?"
Great, now I probably have another woman pissed off at me.
"Sorry, she wanted to talk to me about an essay I did, now she's taking me god knows where. Just go home, I don't know how long this will take."
I reply to her message. No use in making her wait for me if I don't know when exactly will be able to escape the grasp of .
"Hoh? Now who might that be your texting Hikigaya?"
As I clicked send and began to put my phone away, she seemed to notice that I had just texted someone.
"Oh… that was umm…..my sister. She just wanted to know what I wanted for dinner." I reply with a lie. No use in telling her the truth, I know she for a fact wouldn't believe the truth.
"Hmm, is that so?" she says.
I think she bought it.
Now we just silently walk through the hallways of the special building.
After a little while stops at what I assume is where she wanted to take me. It's an old classroom that is not in use and was turned into a storage decides to slide open the door, revealing to both of us a beautiful girl with raven black hair sitting down reading a book peacefully while the open windows blow in a few Cherry blossoms.
"Hello Hiratsuka-sensei, I believe I asked you to knock before entering."
"Yea but when I do, you never answer." Sensei replies as she approaches her.
"That's because you always come in before I have an opportunity to respond."she says. She then looks over, finally noticing me.
"And this? Who's the space case?"
'Hold on a minute, space case?'
Shit, I know exactly who this girl is! That's Yukino Yukinoshita, class 2J International liberal arts. Class primarily full of girls, all very intelligent in school rankings, and among them she ranks the highest. Everyone in this school knows who she is.
"He wants to join your club!" exclaims Sensei.
"Ah..um… my name is Hikigaya Hachiman, class 2F, so... um…."
Wait. Did she just say I wanna join?
"What do you mean I wanna join?" I say in a low voice.
"Your punishment, I'm making you join this club for handing me in that terrible, smart ass essay." she looks back at me and says in a cold tone.
She continues. "I don't wanna hear any arguments, protests, or backtalk from you at all about this."
Great, looks like I can't get out of this one.
turns back to look at Yukinoshita.
"So then, i'm sure by now you can see that his personality is as rotten as the look in his eyes. He's a pathetic soul who is perpetually lonely." she says while Yukinoshita begins eyeing me. "I want this club to fix his contrary, solitary nature. That is my request."
"I must decline. Just looking at the ulterior motives behind his lewd eyes makes me fear for my life and chastity." Yukinoshita replies while covering her very modest chest and gives me a look of disgust and terror.
'Hey! I'm not looking at that modest chest of yours! Besides, it's not yours I would wanna look at'
"Don't worry" reassures her. "He's a decent guy with a good grasp on risk and return, and he's in need of self preservation."
"He wouldn't dare do anything worthy of criminal punishment. Trust me, his thug attitude is just an act." she says attempting to clear up my name a bit. yea i'm not some perverted creep but thug attitude?
"I'd rather you just say I can make rational decisions for myself." I say, trying to correct her evaluation of me.
"Thug attitude? But of course." Yukinoshita says after analyzing Sensei's statement
'Hold on she's buying this half assed bull crap?'
"Sigh...well if it's a request from you, I can't exactly refuse it now can I?" she says and then looks over to Sensei. "i'll allow him to join."
"Perfect." says as she gives a small smile to her
she then starts to head towards the door. "Goodluck Yukinoshita!" she says, waving at her goodbye.
"Wa….wait no!"
Sensei then closes the door, ignoring my call to her and leaves me all alone with Yukinoshita.
'Great. Seriously what just happened?'
Arghh this is not how I saw my day going. This reminds me of my bitter middle school days. Oh those painful days.
Situations like these are clear set ups from your generic Rom-Com fantasy, those actually don't happen in my life…...someone as rigorously trained as me wouldn't get caught up in a Rom-Com trap like this. Well actually it's more accurate to say that I can't get caught up in a Rom-Com trap like this…..not anymore. Those types of situations I now HAVE to avoid, unless I want to face the fiery fury that is of the woman in my life. That's right, I am the great loner king Hikigaya Hachiman…. Has a girlfriend.
"Why don't you take a seat.'' I hear Yukinoshita say.
I sigh and head over to get a chair and place it on the opposite side of the room, away from her.
I look over to Yukinoshita, kinda staring at her. It's odd seeing a setup like this, Sensei says that this is a "club" but that begs the question….
"Problem?" says Yukinioshita as she noticed me staring at her.
"Ah.. well it's just…." I start as I look away from her. "I'm just confused about all of this. I mean what kind of club is this supposed to be anyways?"
Yukinosita looks down at her book and sighs. "Why don't you try to guess?"
A guess huh? Well then from what I see so far…
"Literary club?"
"Oh? And why do you say that?"
"Well that's easy!" I say a bit smugly. "This room has no particular backdrop and non special equipment, plus you've been reading a book this whole time so in conclusion…"
She looks back at me and also gives me a smug smile
"your wrong."
I cross my arms "well then what kinda club is it?"
"Well what i'm doing right now is this club's exact activity."
"Huh, well then I give up, I have no idea what we do here." I seriously don't have a clue.
"Hikigaya-kun, exactly how long has it been since you've spoken to a girl?" she asks me which kinda catches me off guard.
"Uh..well I guess the last time I spoke to one was during lunch break today?"
" Sensei and your female family members do not count Hikigaya-kun." she responds in a disappointed tone
"Hey hold on a minute, I didn't speak to either of them. For your information, the last girl I spoke to was actually my girlfriend!" I responded quickly! There take that it!
"Hikigaya-kun… deluding to your fantasies is not a healthy way to cope with your crippling loneliness." she responds in a cold tone
'She didn't believe me! I knew she wouldn't, why did I even say that!"
I just grumble to myself and look away, of course she wouldn't believe me. Well I guess it is hard to believe, a loner like me actually having a girlfriend.
"A compassionate few decide to donate their time to those who are less fortunate. Society calls it volunteer work. We extend a helping hand to those in need." Yukinoshita explains. She gets up and walks towards me. "This is what this club does. This is the service club." she says as the wind blows her hair around elegantly.
"I welcome you Hikigaya Hachiman. And as I have been asked, I will fulfill my duty given to me by Hiratsuka-sensei. I will correct that rotten attitude of yours. Show some gratitude." she says as she finishes off her explanation what this club does.
"Are you serious?" now I'm kinda ticked off.
"My problem? Just so you know, I'm pretty damn efficient in my own special way." I say as I stand up. "I was third in my Japanese ability test. I'm pretty good looking, ignoring that I don't have any friends but that I actually DO have a girlfriend. I'd say that I'm in a pretty high league!" I finish saying, what I've said is true, I'm pretty up there in society's basic standards, hell me even having a girlfriend already makes me somewhat better than those who don't have one. At Least I have someone who will love me for me, right?!
"Well it's pretty impressive how you can say that all so confidently, although still feeding into your delusions about your supposed girlfriend is pretty weird, actually it's kinda creepy, your creepy, your making my skin crawl." she responds with her face cringing a bit in disgust. Geez the nerve of this girl! Still refusing to believe me and then starts to call me creepy!
"Shut up! You're the weirdo!"
I start to glare at her, this girl, seriously just who she thinks she is.
Yukinoshita looks over to me and begins to put her hand under her chin and smiles at me in a smug way.
"Based on my observations it seems that the loneliness that plagues you, is simply of a direct result of your stupid pride and delusional mindset that you have." she says, breaking down my character as she sees it.
"And as for your looks, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' as they say. In other words as of right now, only what I am saying right now, is correct." she finishes off.
The nerve of this girl, seriously!
(POV Hiratsuka)
"Your opinion is ridiculous!"
I hear Hikigaya say to Yukinoshita after her less than kind analysis of Hikigaya's character.
'Huh, looks like Yukinoshita is really tearing into Hikigaya's persona pretty well. Aside from arguing, this crazy idea of mine might just turn out to be a success.'
Still, they're arguing is a lot and Hikigaya is not yielding to her, even though her points are accurate. Both of them are just a pair of stubborn mules, not giving into one another. maybe I need to spice up their incentives to work in the club, especially Hikigaya.
'Jeez, just what am I gonna do with those two?'
"Hiratsuka-sensei!"
I suddenly hear a voice call out to me, I turn to my right to see that there is a girl running down the hall, she seems out of breath and she's sweating a bit. Wait a second I recognize this girl, she's in 2F, just like Hikigaya...
She suddenly stops in front of me, bends down a bit and holds on to her knees, catching her breath a bit.
"Hiratsuka...sensei...have you…have you seen…"
She begins to pant a bit but eventually composes herself a bit. She whips her long blonde hair back and stands up straight, her green eyes looking directly at mine, oh now I remember! her name is Yumiko Miura.
"Hiratsuka-sensei, have you seen Hikio anywhere?"
Takes me a minute to process her question…..Hikio? Does she mean Hikigaya?
"Sorry Miura but by 'Hikio', are you actually referring to Hikigaya?" I am still a bit confused. I mean why is the so-called "Fire Queen of Sobu '' looking for Hikigaya the "Great Loner", (his words, not mine.) It's definitely an odd situation.
"Yes! Yes! Im looking for him! Sorry that's like my nickname for him!" she answers.
Nickname huh? What kind of relationship does Hikigaya have with her to make her give him such a cute nickname?
"Anyways have you seen him? I know you wanted to see him after class, but he told me he was being taken by you to somewhere and that he didn't know when you let him go!"
Wait how did she know I was taking him somewhere…..wait taken? let him go? I didn't capture the damn brat! is that what he told her? Wait! The person Hikigaya was texting? Was that Miura? I thought it odd that he was texting someone and a part of me did not believe it was his little sister.
"I just don't make pointless smalltalk, so you see? I don't need to be fixed!"
The voice of Hikigaya comes through the walls loud enough both me and Miura can hear it.
"Hey! That's Hikio's voice! So he's in there!" she exclaims as she makes her way to the door.
"M..Miura wait!" I say but it's too late, she has already slid the door open.
(POV Yumiko)
Geez, I cannot believe Hikio was taking so long. I knew he must have done something bad if he was taking so long in Sensei's office, and knowing her tendencies to hit some of her students I kinda got worried that maybe she could have killed him. I mean Hikio's attitude towards people isn't the best. And he just can't keep his mouth shut and always makes his sarcastic comments at the worst times. Really what am I gonna do with him?
Anyway thankfully I found where he was, though it's odd to think exactly why he's in an old storage room. From the sounds of it though he seems to be talking with someone. Well it doesn't matter because I've found him and now I'm gonna get some answers. I had to decline Yui and Hina's invite to go with everyone to that new karaoke joint that opened up just so I can walk home with him!
'That Jerk…. Telling me to head home, no way i'm gonna go without you!'
I reach for the handle of the door and open it wide. I ignore Hiratsuka-sensei's call for me to wait and just go right in.
"Hikio i've finally found y…" I stop as I see Hikio standing there and in front of him I see someone who I didn't expect to see at all.
"Yu….Yumiko?!" he says as he looks right at me, he looks a bit panicked, cant say its not amusing but I don't have time to laugh at that now.
"Hikio! Where have you been? Seriously what's taking so long and why are you here alone in a room with her?!" I say, and direct my gaze from Hikio to her.
"Im sorry, can you not see that you are clearly interrupting us here? And it's very rude to not introduce yourself before even speaking and start demanding information out of a club-mate/client of mine. Honestly, how can such a rude and arrogant girl exist?" she says while glaring right at me
The nerve! Seriously who does she think she is?! What a pompous bitch! Who is she to act all high and mighty towards me?
"Uuuuhhhh? Im being rude? Excuse me? I'm not the rude one here? And what I am not demanding anything from Hikio! I just came here to see him!"
"And I know who you are, you're Yukino Yukinoshita, your that smartass stuck up rich girl I've heard alot about, thinks she's above everyone, always cold and rude to everyone, when in reality I think you're not all that!" I say to her and give her a somewhat shit eating grin. Seriously, who does she think she is?
"Oh? And I know of you as well, Yumiko Miura. You are a part of the most popular social group within our grade. I believe those around you and know you call you "The Fire Queen of Sobu '' after you're very hostile and angry towards everyone. You believe to have some sort of power when in actuality all I see is a spoiled child who cares not for anything but her looks and reputation. And to be clear, I believe in some aspects I AM above you, while not in popularity I do possess a greater intelligence and beauty compared to you. It's entertaining seeing you attempt to act in such a way and put me down when in actuality, I am far more impressive and great than you."
I….. I can't believe what i'm hearing?! How dare she?
"Excuse me? Who do you think you are trying to talk all high and mighty and put me down like that you silver spooned smartass bitc..."
"Alright that's enough!"
Im interrupted and turn my head to see that Hiratsuka-sensei has also entered the room.
"That's enough fighting, jeez you kids and your little popularity contests….. Miura, what exactly are you doing here and why are you looking for Hikigaya?" Sensei asks me.
"Well I was looking for him so I could ask him what was taking him so long, he promised to walk home with me today, but now I know he was probably being belittled by her highness over here" I say and point over to Yukinoshita, i'm still angry at her, Like jeez how stuck up can you be!?
Yukinoshita looks over to me and smirks, ughhh I hate that look she's giving me!
"Oh? So you're here for Hikigaya-kun? Well I guess that does make sense. All Owners do need to locate their servants to entertain them. Although I am not fond of you at all, I would suggest finding a new servant to entertain you. Hikigaya-kun here seems less than adequate, he's an uncaring mutt who can't help anyone, let alone himself. He's a creepy and vile being and in all honesty is revolting and I fear for any girl who has the unfortunate chance to be in his presence, even if that girl is you."
If I was not angry enough before, now I'm furious! How dare she talk down to him?
I stare right into her eyes, I just can't take anymore of this bitch!
"How dare you call him that! Yes he might be creepy and his eyes may be dead and hollow but he is not some horrid disease! He's a genuinely nice and caring guy! He is so much more loving and gentle and he would help anyone if they needed it! And he doesn't deserve to even be in the presence of some haughty bitch like yourself!" I yell towards her. No one talks bad about Hikio like that! No one but me!
As I calm down a bit I start to really notice the faces of everyone there. It's all a look of shock and bewilderment and as I think back I realize the things I said about Hikio and I can feel my face warm up alot. Ahhhhh I said some embarrassing stuff!
"Ahhh I mean like….. Well ummm….." shit, great now i'm a stuttering mess right now! Damit Hikio this is your fault!
"Yumiko….." I hear Hikio say and I turn over to see him with a mad blush around his face too. Ahhh stop Hikio, you're making me blush even more!
We both turn our heads and look away from each other.
"Miura…..what exactly is your relationship with Hikigaya?" asks a bewildered Hiratsuka-sensei.
"Hikigaya-kun….don't tell me you actually were not delusional…" Yukinoshita says to Hikio in an amazed and worried face.
Both me and Hikio look at each other and we both know how to answer both of them.
"Well, Yumiko here…."
"You see..Hikio here…"
"Is my Girlfriend!"
"Is my Boyfriend!"
A/N: well here we go! yes I will be working on this fic for a while, my last fic I kinda lost the direction/motivation to work on it. maybe some day ill continue it.
anyways this chapter went up to the point where Hiratsuka came in and proposed the battle royale to Hachiman and Yukino. next chapter will be continueing from there and into the end of episode one so stay tuned! anyways leave a comment and tell me how I did! (p.s. Yumiko, might be just a tad bit OOC, i'm still studying her and figuring her out so lets see how it goes!)