God, Tortuga was bleak.
It had only been an hour since she had left the pier and she had already uttered that to herself numerous times. After dragging her heels through the town giving herself a pity prep talk and then spending a good amount of time in the market trying to barter some breakfast to line her stomach, Nic had ended up standing outside a place she had thought she would never see again.
The Ol' Sailor.
One of the taverns with a tamer name on this land, but with just as bad of a reputation. It looked alright, meaning the roof was in one piece and there were minimal bullets lodged in the walls. It was on the outskirts of the town, closer to the edge of the jungles surrounding the town, which meant it was quieter and often a little emptier due to the longer walk from the dock for drunken men to tackle. At least it had been when Nicolette had first stepped foot into it, after all it was for that reason why Nicolette assumed her mother had chosen it. Back when the islands population was lower, but over the year the footfall in the port only seemed to increase leaving less places to drink and more custom their way.
It hadn't been a bad thing, when she was relying on the custom to be able to afford a living.
Nicolette found herself taking a deep inhale of breath the moment she stepped through the old oak double doors already knowing what to expect on the other side. It was like coming home to her after all.
The table were still organised into the same pattern as if they were nailed down and not thrown across the tavern and through windows every other night. The giant mantles still held roaring fires and the giant candlelit chandeliers above hung, still holding the same dust from a decade ago no doubt.
The bar was the same, barrels and bottle filling every free surface with lanterns and clusters of candles lighting otherwise dark gloomy back of the hall. Overhead were two levels of balconies, one leading to another level of tables and a large outdoor balcony space illuminated by small firefly sized handing lanterns and overcast by the hanging leaves of the growing palms. The second level housed all of the bedrooms belonging to all of the paying guests and a handful of the women who found customers here. The final level, hidden and only accessible via second floor window leading to a weak staircase fixed to the outside of the building, was were the rest of the whores had rooms, as well as the land lady and, come once upon a time, herself.
She had kept the smallest room, the best the land lady could offer with what small change Nicolette's mother had offered and with what little work an eleven year old could do. It had no windows, a door with a two inch gap at the bottom which let in the slightest of drafts and a few mice for good measure. Nic could remember playing the forgotten princess during her first year of staying here, pretending the mice were her friends, that they were magic… what a silly little child she had been.
As her head craned up to the ornate ceiling however, Nic found herself smiling at the memories. The ones during which she was thought how to cook, how to serve the men which came in and not get hurt. How the older whores had taught her how to be street smart and the younger had taught her how to seduce a man and properly present her assets. It wasn't bad, not even the mice were that bad, if they were she may have taken up the offer of being a whore just to earn a few extra coin.
What would her life be now? She wondered, if she had just put on the pretty dress and batted her eyelashes…
Movement behind the bar caught her attention and the smile momentarily disappeared from her face before it reappeared seconds later double the size.
A woman who must have been in her late forties, possibly older, was moving up and down the bar clearing the odd item and shouting commands to random people up in the rafters. Her dress was worn, marked, but large and ruffled giving the perfect impression of a Madame.
"Imelda?" Nicolette called out gingerly as she approached, eyes alight. She hoped her gut was right and that this wasn't some new woman, many years after all had passed and in Tortuga they were never kind to anyone.
"Nicolette?" She almost found herself breathing a sigh of relief as the woman looked up and instantly became animated with emotion. "It cannot be! Oh child, it is you!" Before she knew it, the older woman had rounded the bar and almost tackled her into a hug. Nic laughed until her face was taken into cold rough hands and pulled down to meet the warm eyes of the women a foot shorter than herself . "I didn't think I would see this face again. I heard terrible things. You're…"
As Imelda trailed off, Nicolette tooled her hands in her own and lowered them, smiling sadly.
"I have many tales." She nodded and then found herself quite at a loss for words.
There had, after all, been just one reason she had come hear. During the years after leaving, each time she had docked back in Tortuga when mortal she had avoided this place, always choosing to stick with another tavern. It wasn't that there were any bad memories here, but she had never wanted to return in fear that she would have to stay. In her messy mind, never coming back meant she could never stay. But just look at her now…
"I eh…" She stuttered, moving her gaze from the woman to the floor over and over as she tried to think of how to form the right string of words. "I'm looking to stay for a bit. You don't happen to have a room spare do you?" At first Imelda looked shock but soon nodded.
"Of course. How long you planning on staying?" That wasn't a question Nicolette had prepared for and it showed as she gaped and tried to guess how long she would be staying. How long did it take to barter a ship, or even get the money to barter a ship…how long would it take her to find money? "I'll put you down for a week eh?" Imelda suggested and reluctantly Nic nodded although she had an awful feeling that it was going to be quite a bit longer than that.
And speaking of money, Nicolette suddenly had the startling realisation that she was lacking the very thing, give or take a couple doubloons and maybe a shilling. A little bit of actual looting had not been high on their agenda over the past few months given everything they had been through so she was lacking on the funds side of things.
She pulled out the small purse hooked, but hidden, on her belt and quickly counted its contents with a sigh. "I have enough for three nights, I can get you the rest by-"
Imelda placed a hand over her purse, pushing it away. "Lass, if I let you stay for free when you were a bairn, I can wait a few days for a few nights payment after missing you for almost twelve years."
The woman pursed her lips and then pulled Nic into another tight hug, squeezing her upper arms as tight as they possibly could.
"Thank you." Nic laughed after she was released. "But if there is anything I can do…I'm sure I still remember everything even after all this time."
"The first thing you can do, is come and have a drink and tell me what the hell you've been up to!"
—
"And what is he like…really like?" Nicolette, having already been asked that very same question half a dozen times in the past hour alone, forced a grin and a hearty laugh along with it, looking away from the young prostitute to take a long drink of wine.
She had enjoyed telling all of her tales to Imelda, from the very good through to the worse, the stories which made them both take a minute. She had enjoyed the company of an old friend and the innocent attention of someone who did not wish for anything in return. It was refreshing and, surprisingly, a part of her started to feel at home.
Then the women had awoke.
It was around noon when the inn started to fill with the odd groups of crew and the few single men looking for a short relief from the hurtful truths of reality and not long after the women had appeared, tarted up and ready to hunt.
At least that was until their eyes had landed on Nicolette and narrowed at the new meat in their territory. One by one they had sauntered over, seemingly innocent, to find out her motive for being there and when they had learnt she was nought but another sailor fresh off the Pearl and just looking for a drink…well it was like she was bird seed to a flock of pigeons.
Why had she mention the Pearl? It had just been automatic but news of Jack's win had obviously travelled; she guessed the origin was from his very own mouth into one of the surrounding girl's ears. The minute the ships name was uttered they all erupted, gasping and fanning themselves during a hot flush. Nic had cringed originally, rolling her eyes and praying for them to stop so she could just get on with getting drunk.
But then those questions had started…about him.
"Is he really as handsome as Scarlet says?" That name…out of them all that name had been the one which rattled her spine. "She says he visits her once a month still." Course…ratty red haired little…
"What? That can't be, Elouise said she was his only one."
Before long they broke into a fight. Course they did, after all where Jack was involved there was bound to be a fight breaking out. Thankfully however, the fight led them away from her and back upstairs, leaving her in peace with her thoughts. Come to think of it the whores weren't that bad in comparison.
"Either I'm dreaming, dead, or I can't be right in thinking you're who I think you are…"
She turned, a grimace already threatening to show as she tried to prepare for who it might be, but upon looking over her shoulder and seeing the tall slender man, it vanished entirely. His hair was dirty blonde, short and swept back under a thin leather head band and he was young, or he looked young, around her age. His face was tanner by the sun and he wore the typical island attire of a white shirt and brown breeches, along with worn black leather boots and a sash over his shoulder which carried his affects.
It couldn't be. Surely.
"Matthew?"
Upon her speaking the name, the man was blown away by something. His eyes widened and he clapped himself on the cheek, squinting at her. "By Joseph and Mary…Nicolette?" She smiled and nodded slowly, eyes still scanning his face, but no, it was definitely him.
"Yes." The man came closer, eyes never leaving her face.
"I…" He started, still staring at her intensely, his hands hooked onto his belt. "Wow." She smiled as he lost his words and chuckled.
"You haven't changed a bit."
"Speak for yourself." At that, Nicolette scoffed and sent him a pointed look. "Give or take a few details." They both shared a laugh at that and then a silence fell, neither really knowing what to say.
"Can I err…drink?" He asked, casting a gesture towards her almost empty glass.
"Yeah…yeah of course." Matthew took the seat next to her and caught the bar maids attention ordering her another wine and himself an ale. Once they had their tankards, Matthew took a long drink and then turned to her.
"So…" Soon after he started, he started laughing and Nic couldn't resist joining in, hiding her blush with her mug. "Where have you been eh? I tell you, the stories I've heard out there, about you…" Matthew shook his head, face falling as his eyes studied her face. She could tell he was looking at the scar, the one running right through her eye which made most men since the first time they met her. "Moon Eyed Nikki…always wondered about that nickname. The Devil's Temptress I understood that one in a heartbeat." He teased, biting his tongue between his teeth, and Nicolette groaned at the recall of a couple of her many nicknames.
"They're all very long stories Matt…each one of those god damn names has its own origin story."
"Then tell me." His bluntness startled her and she watched him for a long moment wondering why he was even here and how she had managed to run into him of all people on this day. "Come on Nicolette, it's been ten years for Christ's sake. I think you owe me at least one. I'll tell me a few of my own, we can take turns." That made her want to laugh right in his face for there was no way all of his stories together could even compare to even one of hers.
"Alright…fine." Curious as to what he had been up to, Nic folded.
"Great! Now, you first. And I want to know why most of my men have you noted down as Lady Barbossa in their tales?" Nicolette almost groaned, subconscious starting to grid her tankard into the bar.
"Oh you would start with that one wouldn't you?" Nic groaned while Matthew settled into his seat and she tried to recall where to begin. "I…I was a cabin boy…girl…on the Pearl, could have only been a year after I last saw you…"
…
"So, technically you're widowed." Erch, that word and at her age, given her lifestyle…it was ironically accurate for her fortune since birth.
"Thanks you for pointing that out. And it's literal, there's nothing technical about it." She finished her fifth and what she needed to be her final wine and shook her head when the barmaid appeared and gestured a refill.
Matthew saw this and smiled, seeing the woman sway in her seat and finished the last of his own drink.
"It's getting late, you have a ship I can walk you back to?" He asked, standing from his stool. Nicolette did not follow by his example but turned in her seat to face him.
"No, I erm, I have a room upstairs actually. I'm staying a while."
"Oh? In that case then, what do you say you come see my ship. I'm going to be docked for the next few days?" She had learnt at some point during the night that Matthew had gone from being a simple ship hand to Captain just by spending the last decade climbing through the ranks. Now he was a proud Captain of The Dripping Dagger. It had put into perspective just how long had passed, even depressed her slightly. He had done everything he had once told her he wished for and here she was, back at square one.
"Perhaps." Nicolette sighed as the same wave of shame as before washed over her. "I don't know if it's a good idea." Selfishly, she did not wish to see what he had achieved, it was like looking through a looking glass at what could have been and right now that was the last thing she wanted.
"You're still with him…that's it isn't it?" He tried to hide the bitterness in his tone but failed miserable if Nic told the truth. She couldn't blame him, not after everything.
It was Jack he was referring to, it seemed that she couldn't escape him even after running from him. He was a constant in her life once and now all of sudden there he was again.
"Not quite." Nic huffed a laugh, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "I…I've been married to a man I had to learn to love for…most of my adult life Matthew. I've been in this trap and, I just want to enjoy living again, I don't want to be tied to anything." It was the truth, she had decided that on her very first night on the Pearl with Jack back as her Captain. She didn't want to belong to any ship, any curse any trap nor any man for a long time, whether it be Jack or someone new.
What she and Jack had done over the past few months, it wasn't going anywhere, it was simply a mutual like, even if that one night they had come close to saying it might be. Jack Sparrow would never be tamed and she was starting to see the benefits of it herself. She wanted to be Nicolette Barker, not Lady Barbossa or Sparrows Wench. She was more than that, she could prove it.
"Funny, makes you wonder…" Nicolette tried to brace herself for what was coming, though she knew it wouldn't make it any easier. "Do you…I shouldn't ask but…do you ever think about what would have happened if…"
"I'm sorry Matthew." She sighed. "I…I shouldn't have done it the way I did."
"Come on Nic, we were both young." Matthew stepped closer and perched on his stool once more, leaning one elbow on the bar. "I asked you to marry me because that's what I wanted and I believed I could offer you something worth…worth something." He chuckled but she could tell it was forced.
"And you could, you would have, that's why I said yes." But then, Jack. She remembered both the night she had told Jack and the night she had last spoke to Matthew though both memories seemed fuzzy now, overshadowed by more important events. If she focused enough however, she could still see the hurt which had cast over both of their faces for very similar reasons.
"But then you choose to actually listen to your heart. I don't hold anything against you for that Nic."
"Yeah but look where that got me…"
"Sounds like it got you one hell of an adventure." Nicolette considered this with a gentle smile. It was why she had been so drawn to him all those years ago, he always so the good and for a pirate that was a rare trait. "So if one day you find yourself wanting a new one, well…you already know." He leant down to her level and laid a gentle kiss right on the apple of her cheek. "See you soon perhaps Miss Barker, try to keep it less than ten years this time."
"Yeah, I'll see you." With a gentle bow of his head he was gone and when he was out of sight Nicolette finally stood and started to make her way up to her assigned room. Closure is what she had just experienced with a first love and she hoped to whatever God which was listening that it was the final closure or run in for that fact with an old friend she would have to experience for a while.