Title: Learn To Love Again
Rating: T - Maybe M in later chapters
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Brittana and other minor pairings
Chapter: 1
Word Count: 4.2k
Disclaimer: I do not own glee or the characters from glee that I use in this story.
Summary: It's not possible for a girl to get pregnant by another girl, right? But what happens when Brittany gets Santana pregnant and thinks that she was cheated on, leaving both Santana and her child? Will Santana be able to bring up a child on her own, with no help? Will she be able to somehow convince Brittany that she didn't cheat and to come back to her?
A/N: Just a new story that I thought of when I saw the picture of Naya and Dior on twitter.
Month 2
"Brittany...I'm pregnant" I can't look at the girl in front of me, scared of what she might do or say to me. The words are free now. She knows. After a week of painfully trying to keep this away from her, she knows. But why isn't she saying anything to me? I look over to her to see tears falling from her eyes.
My heart aches at the sight, and on instinct, I reach out to wipe them away, but she flinches and pulls away from me. I see a mixtures of emotions rush through her watery blue eyes, from hurt to angry to betrayal and heartbreak. It sucks that I am the cause of her feeling that, but I need her to know that I didn't cheat on her. "I didn't cheat on you, Britt. I promise you" I tell her, my voice cracking and laced with fear.
Brittany's eyes lock with mine and it scares me because I have never seen her this angry. "What do you mean you didn't cheat on me? Of course you did. How else would you of gotten yourself knocked up, in case you forgot, Santana, I am a girl. I don't have a fucking penis" the way she spits out the words make me curl into myself and whimper slightly because I don't know what else to do.
"I did not cheat on you, I swear on everything. I haven't had sex with a guy since sophomore year. Brittany, you have to believe me. I don't know how this happened, I love you so much and I can't do this without you" I practically beg her, tears falling freely down both of our faces as I grip tightly to her top.
Her eyes soften slightly, but within a second the anger is back and she is pushing me off of her. My heart clenches tightly in my chest and I suddenly forget how to breathe for a moment. "Well you should of thought about that before you went and got yourself pregnant" she tells me, getting up from the bed and walking towards the door. "I'll be back for my things tomorrow. I want nothing to do with you or your baby. You lied and cheated" oh my God.
I jump up and run over to her, clinging to her arm desperately. "Please, Brittany, don't do this to me. This is your child, please don't leave us. I love you so much and I need you so bad right now" I sob hysterically, but all she does is shrug me off and leave me alone. When I hear the front door slam shut, I collapse to the floor and cry into my knees. She left me. My girlfriend of 5 years left me. Alone. Whilst I am pregnant.
What am I going to do now? I am 18, freshman in collage. I can only just afford to look after myself, and now I have to take care of a baby on my own. How the hell am I supposed to do this?
With shaky hands, I reach for my phone and dial the number of the person I haven't spoken to in almost a year. "Santana? Hello?" The voice is enough to make me start sobbing again, "what's wrong? Did something happen? Are you safe, do you want me to come get you?" I sniff slightly.
"Rach, s-she left m-me. I...I can't s-stay here" I tell her, knowing that I won't be able to continue staying in this apartment because everything just reminds me of Brittany. We have been living here in New York for a year since we graduated from school and can't be in this place without her. This is our apartment, was our apartment, and I can't stay here alone because of that.
"Brittany left you? Oh my goodness. What happened?" Rachel squeals down the phone and I don't reply to her because I am crying to hard. "We're coming to get you now, San. Stay there babe" Rachel hangs up the phone and I let out a strangled sob before starting to pack all of my clothes into my suitcases along with things such a pictures. I want to keep the pictures of Brittany and I.
I need to keep everything to do with her.
Our silly couple pictures.
Our home movies.
When I am finished packing everything into three suitcases, I walk into the closet and get her favourite Julliard hoodie. I put it up and start crying again because of how much it reminds me of her. I can't believe she actually left me. Not just me, us. I didn't cheat on her, so obviously this baby is Brittany's. I don't know how because she has a vagina but I know that it is.
But she didn't believe me. She didn't believe me when I was begging her, yelling at her to stay and believe me. I thought she would believe me? I thought she trusted me? Obviously not though otherwise she would of stayed and comforted me. She would of told me everything was going to be okay and that she would stay.
After about 10 minutes, I hear a knock on the door. I'm too tired and emotionally drained to actually move right now, so I just stay on the floor and carry on crying. I know that it is Rachel and she will just let herself in anyway. I hear the door open and a few moments later, a couple of gasps coming from the doorway.
I look up to see Rachel, Kurt and Quinn all looking at me with shocked faces. "S-she...Britt- She's g-gone" I stutter out through my sobs and Rachel immediately rushes over to me and takes me in her arms. She runs her fingers through my hair and I grip hold of her, scared in case she runs away just like Brittany. Will everybody react the same way that she did? Will everybody believe that I cheated?
"I'm p-pregnant" I blurt out, wanting them all to know the truth of why Brittany left me. "Sh-she thought that I-I cheated o-on h-her, but I didn't. I pr-promise. Please b-believe me" I beg them desperately. I need them. I need somebody to help me with this because I honestly have no idea what I am going to do.
What I do know though is that I am keeping this baby.
It is my baby.
Well, mine and Brittany's.
But since she wants nothing to do with either of us, it is my baby.
I can't kill my own baby and I know that I couldn't go through adoption, I mean, just look at Quinn. I love the girl, but she is a mess. She hardly knows what to do most of the time. She can't go one day without thinking about her daughter and I don't want to go through that.
"It's okay, sweetie. We believe you. Come on, you can come live with us in the spare bedroom" Rachel coos into my ear and I smile thankfully at her. At least they believe that I didn't cheat on Brittany. How could I cheat on Brittany anyway? I love that girl more than myself and I would never ever do that to her. I would never intentionally cheat on her, she should know that.
Month 3
"Are you excited?" Rachel asks me for what is like the tenth time this morning. All I can do is nod my head for what is like the tenth time this morning. We are in the waiting room at the doctors, waiting to go in for my first sonogram and I honestly couldn't be more scared or nervous. After I see my baby for the first time everything will become more real. I know it is real now, but seeing my baby will make it that all clearer for me.
I am upset though, and terrified, that I am doing this without Brittany. This is not just my child, this is her child too. She should be here for this, but she isn't. I haven't spoken to Brittany since the say she walked out and I know that things are really over between us for good. My eyes start to water and I rapidly blink them away, willing myself not to cry because of her.
Today is supposed to be a happy day. I'm seeing my child for the first time. "Santana, are you okay? The doctor just called you in" I look up to Rachel and wipe away the tears that have leaked down my face before standing up and walking into the room without saying a word. I have cried into Rachel, Quinn and Kurt so much over the past month and I can't keep doing that to them.
They don't deserve to be pilled up in my problems, I need to deal with them myself. So I decided to just stop speaking to them about Brittany all together because when I did, I always ended up breaking down. Just like I do when I think about her.
It hurts to know that I was honest with her and she didn't believe me.
It hurts to know that I will have to raise our child on my own because she thinks I cheated.
It hurts to know that our child will grow up with only one parent.
But I know for sure that I have for this kid already will be enough for both Brittany and I. I love this child with everything that I am and it is the only thing that is keeping me from dwelling over Brittany completely. sure, I spend most of my time crying and locked inside my room. But I'm sure that if I wasn't pregnant, I would be worse than I am now.
"Okay, Santana, if you lay down on this chair and lift up your top for me" the doctor says to me, smiling when I nervously do as she says. I really hope that everything is going to be okay, I would be devastated if something is wrong. Then I truly would have nothing, "This may be a little cold...okay so if you look there, that is your baby" tears instantly come to my eyes as I stare at the screen in front of me.
My baby.
I am actually going to be a mother.
Month 4
I have to do this. I have put it off for as long as I can but I know that they deserve to know. What if Brittany has told them? What if they saw her and she told them that I cheated on her? Oh no, I can't have them walking out on me. I need them so much. With a small sigh, I dial the familiar number that I haven't called in almost three months.
They answer on the second ring.
"Mija, is that you?"
Tears fill my eyes and my free hand falls to my stomach at the sound of my mothers voice coming through the phone. I miss my parents so much and I just wish they will still love me after I tell them everything that has been going on with me.
"Yeah, its me. I need to tell you and Papi something" I breathe out, knowing that I will have to tell them both at the same time because it is so hard telling people about Brittany and I. I've only had to tell Rachel, Kurt and Quinn and some of the people at NYC when I was leaving.
"Hi, Santi. What do you want to tell us?"
My Papi's voice comes through the phone and I bite down on my lip softly to contain my sobs, "Brittany left me 2 months ago. I'm pregnant and somehow Brittany is the father... but she didn't believe me. She told me that I cheated and left, saying she wanted nothing to do with me or the baby" I tell them all, as I let out a sniff and snuggle into Brittany's Julliard hoodie that I am wearing.
I'm lucky that Brittany was always taller than me because otherwise it wouldn't fit me as my bump is really starting to grow now.
"She what? How could she do that? My poor baby."
"Are you sure that it is Brittany's?"
"Antonio! Our daughter is not a cheater!"
"I'm positive, Papi. I haven't had sex with anybody other than Brittany since sophomore year in high school" I tell them both honestly. They really need to believe me. I did not cheat on her at all. But wait my dad is a doctor, he should be able to know how this happened. "Papi, do you know how this happened?" I ask him.
I hear him sigh on the other end of the phone.
"Honestly, no. Maybe Brittany has sperm or something that can make you knocked up. How about your mother and I come visit and I can do a few tests?"
"Yes, please."
Month 5
A baby girl. A FUCKING GIRL. I am so happy right now, I can't even contain my squeals as I run around the apartment in nothing but my underwear. I just got back from my five month sonogram, and I am now home alone, so why not run around in my underwear? Rachel and Kurt are in collage and Quinn is at work so they couldn't come with me to the doctors.
I was lucky that I got the day off of work. But after I explained things to my boss, he kind of felt bad for me and let me have the day off. Work isn't too bad. Last month I got a job working in a bar. Not being a bartender or anything like that. Its like a chilled out bar and they have like live music and stuff. They hired me as soon as they heard me sing. I was like putty in their hands.
"Holy shit."
"Oh my God."
"Ew. Boobs."
I freeze instantly and my eyes go wide when I look up to see my three roommates looking at me with horrified faces. Oh shit, I thought they wouldn't be hone for a while. Oops.
Month 6
"I'm moving out" I blurt out when I enter the living room causing three heads to turn my way. Their eyes are wide and their jaws are hanging slack. "I need a place of my own to raise a child and there isn't enough space here for a baby to be living with us" I tell them honestly, a little sad that I am moving out of their apartment.
Over the last few months, Kurt, Rachel and Quinn have became my family and have been so good to me about everything. They have helped me deal with my sleepless nights when I cry over Brittany and they help me out with my pregnancy to the best they can do. Its just, I feel like I need a place to call home. A place for just me and my child to live in without anybody else.
"Where are you going? Are going away from NY? Oh my God... are you moving across the Country?" I roll my eyes. Rachel, always the drama queen of the apartment. She really is so over-dramatic I am actually surprised that she hasn't won an Oscar or something yet.
Does she really think I would move across the Country? This girl is crazy. "No. My parents bought me a penthouse here in NY. It is actually beautiful. They have had it all decorated and everything" I say to them, getting excited because my new home really is fucking amazing. It is big too, bigger than this apartment. "So, can you help me get my things there? It is only a couple of streets away? I need help with like two suitcases" I ask them with a pout.
They all chuckle and stand up, making my grin turn into a pout. "San, you do realize that you are still going to be here most of the time anyway or we are going to be at your place now during the day until the baby comes?" Quinn asks me with a laugh and I nod my head. Probably. But hey, it is good to move in now so I am settled when my baby girl comes along.
"Yup, I know that. But at least I can kick you all out now if you annoy me" they glare at me and I burst out laugh as they all start to mumble under their breath. Yeah, can't argue with a pregnant woman.
Month 7
"Happy birthday, Santana!" I scowl at my three best friends but step aside to let them in anyway before closing the door and following them through to the living room. How dare they fucking be all happy and sing when they just woke me up from my sleep and made me get out of bed this early. It is my birthday, I should be able to sleep in. "Oh, don't look at us like that, we brought you presents" my scowl turns into a smile.
Yay, presents. Seriously, I am like a little kid at Christmas when it comes to opening presents. Oh well, I can act like a kid because it is my birthday and I can do whatever the hell I want. "Gimme, gimme" I squeal happily and the three of them chuckle before handing me over three presents that I immediately start to open up. My eyes start to water and I look over to Rachel.
She smiles at me. "I know you said you would like something to show your baby about Brittany when she is old enough, so I copied all of your home video's and pictures onto that dick so it is just like a film" Rachel tells me and my tears run down my cheeks freely. I miss Brittany so much and I am still so in love with her, I just still can't believe that she left me like that. I thought that she would help me through this and believe me.
"Thank you, Rach" I say to her, placing the DVD next to all of my other ones next to the TV. Sniffling a little, I wipe away my tears and open the other two presents, revealing a charm bracelet and a golden chain. "Thank you guys so much, I love them but you really didn't have to get me anything though. Especially things that are this expensive" I tell them honestly, snipping the chain around my neck and the bracelet around my wrist. Perfect.
"Shut up, San. You deserve the best" Kurt exclaims with a wide smile and I can't help but grin back at him because I really do have the best friends ever and I honestly couldn't do any of this without them. "So, what do you want to do today? Pick anything? Our treat" Wow, okay.
"To be honest, I just want to cuddle, watch movies and eat junk food."
Month 8
Only a month to go. A month until I have my baby girl with me in my arms. I can't wait, I don't think that I have ever been more excited in my whole life. I can't wait to finally have myself a distraction from thinking about Brittany all of the time. I know my baby will somehow remind me of her, but she will stop me from moping around all day doing nothing and just crying.
Everything just reminds me of Brittany and the times we spent together. I can't help but wonder what she is doing now, like is she safe? Has she got a place to live? She just walked out and didn't call anybody. I hope she is happy though because I hate the thought of her being sad.
I rest my hands on my rounded stomach and let a watery smile take over my face. In 4 weeks, I will be a mother. My daughter will be here with me and that is when I feel like I will finally be happy again. I haven't been truly happy since the day Brittany walked out on me and I know that a piece of my heart will forever be missing as long as she isn't with me. But when I have my child with me, I know that some of that happiness will come back to me.
I already love my daughter so much and I am so glad that I went through with this pregnancy. Sure, I wasn't at first but now, I wouldn't have it any other way. This baby inside of me means the world to me already and I know that I am going to do everything that I can to make sure this baby is happy.
This baby deserves the best and I am going to make sure that that is what I am going to give her.
Month 9
Holy shit.
I look down at the little girl who has just been placed in my arms and it feels like the world around me has just frozen into place as her bright blue eyes lock with mine. She has Brittany's eyes. "Hi there, baby. I'm your mommy" I coo to her softly, using my thumb to trace her face gently.
She is beautiful and I am not just saying that because I am her mother and I'm obliged to.
She truly is gorgeous with her dark curls, caramel skin, pouty lips and bright blue eyes. She is tiny and fits perfectly in my arms.
Her small whimpers die down as I slowly rock her and talk to her. "I promise you that I am going to do everything I can to keep you safe and happy. Just me and you, baby girl" I bring one of my hands to lift it to wipe away my tears. "Can you let them in please?" I ask the midwife who is smiling at me before nodding her head and going to tell the people outside that I want them in here.
Minutes later, I hear a few gasps and look up to see my parents and best friends in the doorway of the room, looking between my daughter and I. "Mija, she is adorable" my mother is the first to speak as the five of them slowly walk towards the bed. Yes, I chose not to have a birthing partner because I decided that if Brittany didn't see the birth of her daughter, then nobody else could.
"She really is, have you chose a name?" Kurt asks me softly and I nod my head proudly. I honestly spend about 5 hours looking through baby name books until I found the right one. It just stood out to me and when I look down at my daughter now, I can see that it really suits her.
"Camila Quinn Lopez-Pierce. I'm calling her Camila" I tell them, looking down at the sleeping girl in my arms and kissing her softly on her forehead. She really is perfect.
Camila Quinn Lopez-Pierce
Born May 20th at 07:19am.
Weight: 6 pounds.
Parents: Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce.
A/N: And that is the first chapter. Mainly just a look at how Santana dealt with the pregnancy and things. The next chapter will skip to where Brittany comes back into their lives. So, I just made this thing up about Brittany having sperm and its kind of unrealistic, but who cares, right? We gots a brittana baby ;)
Hope you all enjoyed this so far. Review to let me know what you all thin of this chapter and if I should continue with this. Also, to see what Camila looks like check out my tumblr and I will also post other things in there to do with this story:
www . naytanaff . tumblr . com
I will make sure make sure to upload the next chapter as soon as I can, and I am also still working on my other stories right now too.