Chapter 5
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I don't own Inuyasha, all rights to Rumiko Takahashi
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It was the same dream every night since she died.
The same feeling of air stolen out of her lungs, the feeling of drowning.
Kagome felt the exhaustion weighing on her every day, stinging her eyes and drying her lips.
But it wouldn't stop, and it was the same every single night, the same pair of hateful eyes and translucent skin creeping their way into her mind, making it hard to breath.
Fogging her memory with splashes of her ash.
But then again, all bad dreams end right?
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Sesshomaru sensed her inner battle, the kicks and her hands fighting the tension in her body, the sweat dampening her skin and the heat rising up, he wondered what was happening in her sleep that distressed her this much, he wondered where Inuyasha left when she fell asleep and why he wasn't with her at times like these, this happened almost every night since he had been with her, since he had joined their group.
To him she was still an enigma, a woman who defeated a world wide threat with the pureness of her soul.
At times it felt like a fairytale to him, like those stories his mother used to tell him about brave demon princes that ended chaos with the swings of their swords, to fly away with their enchanted princess and make the world right again.
Only she was sleeping in front of him, still fighting a battle he thought had ended.
And she felt real, she was alive at his reach, the girl he swore to kill long time ago, was still there, in front of him.
Sometimes he stopped his mind from wandering into the useless paths that labyrinth through his conscience, from forming answers with answers beyond his comprehension, and since the first time he saw her, she occupied that space in his mind, like a riddle, he tried to figure her out. Her power almost burned him when it crashed with his own, presenting him a challenge he didn't know how to unfold.
Talking to her was easy, being around her felt easy, he didn't need to prove anything to her, he didn't need to be his title with her, he didn't have to do anything to be around her.
Just destiny.
Something his past self would've thought impossible, or something his past self wouldn't have even thought about.
His killer self, that wanted her blood because of the threat she represented.
Because from the first moment, he didn't need to be what he thought he was.
He shifted slowly to her side, her body was trembling.
He reached his hand slowly to her shoulder mindful of his claws and shook her slowly.
He felt her hand on the side of his face with a painless stroke as she fully opened her eyes, taking in what had just happened.
Kagome felt him towering over her, his hand gripping her shoulder.
She didn't remembered falling asleep or when they stopped talking.
But now she had… slapped him.
Alarmed, she sat and pushed her hair to her shoulder not knowing what to say.
-"I am so sorry Sesshomaru… you woke me and I-"
-"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt" he said wanting to laugh at her expression.
Her eyes told him she felt like she had just murdered a wounded puppy.
-"Kagome It's fine, I'm okay, really" he tried to calm her rapid breathing and her wrestling fingers that rested on her lap "You were just scared"
She relaxed a little taking her hand to her forehead, feeling the beads of sweat forming threatening to fall over her forehead.
-"I'm sorry" she finally said feeling the cold of the night hit her.
-"Why are you sorry?" Sesshomaru asked her genuinely wondering why on earth she would be sorry.
-"I was… dreaming, it must've probably annoyed you…"
Kagome felt guilty now and a little embarrassed by her stupid nightmares.
-"Don't apologize"
To his discontent, she apologized too much "you scared me"
Now Kagome raised her head to look at him, her eyes glistened a little at his words.
-"I scared you?" She asked in disbelief almost wanting to laugh.
-"You were… you seemed upset" he said avoiding her eyes, backing away a little from the tiny space between their bodies.
He sat again on the tree that he found for the night, resting his head on it, peaking at her form besides him.
Silence.
It saved them sometimes.
Kagome moved to find the others, except Inuyasha, asleep.
The distance seemed infinite between her and Sesshomaru from the others.
They had been talking, about auras, before sleep claimed her.
She fell asleep in front of him.
She finally sat, taking her annoying hair logging it in a high ponytail.
Silence.
-"What were you dreaming about?" Sesshomaru asked staring at the ground.
Kagome wasn't expecting his question, and she didn't know how to answer.
They happened ever since she died, it felt like a disgusting reminder of her.
But she hadn't talk about it with anyone, not even Sango.
She feared that if she mentioned her name, she would appear once again, alive or undead.
Sesshomaru was waiting, she wanted to speak but something kept her from talking.
-"I won't tell Inuyasha" he finally said and Kagome relaxed completely.
Was she scared of him finding out?
She straightened herself up, moving closer to him until they were by each other's side.
There was no fire that night and the cold stung against her hot skin.
She hugged her knees resting her chin on top of them as she stared at the dirt in front of them.
-"It's about her" she finally said with a small voice "they're all about her"
Sesshomaru understood who she referred to when she said 'her'
The undead woman with the vengeful black eyes.
He remembered when they met, with her keeping the promise to kill Inuyasha and him warning to be the one to do it.
Her presence felt rotten.
Her smell of dead nature.
He could remember though, how different she looked from the woman next to him.
And it was ridiculous to him how his imbecile brother even thought they might share physical similarities.
-"Her soul, it wants me" Kagome continued at the brink of tears "I keep driving myself insane thinking she's still somewhere, watching me, hating me, waiting for her chance of me speaking her name"
Kagome knew it was impossible.
She was dead, for good.
She had seen her… disappear.
She was gone.
Kagome placed her hands on her face, driving the sleep away.
-"She's dead Kagome, she can't hurt you anymore" Sesshomaru said tensing his jaw.
-"What if she comes back?" Kagome asked "she did once, she can do it again"
-"I can promise she won't"
Kagome was scared of ghosts.
And this one kept tugging her feet hiding under her bed.
They kept quiet for a while.
Kagome closed her eyes and kept her breathing steady with the rhythm of their energies pulsing against each other.
-"You know… you look nothing like her" Sesshomaru said spreading his legs, resting his elbows over his knees, grabbing some dried leaves and picking them apart with his fingers.
-"Hm?" Kagome broke from her daze to turn to look at him.
-"I said that you look nothing like her" he repeated looking back at her.
At the cat-like blue eyes and more rounded face of hers.
Her beauty was inviting, he thought.
-"Why do you say that?" Kagome wondered if Inuyasha overreacted calling her Kikyo the first time they met.
-"You have um, you have blue eyes"
Kagome laughed at his statement which was true.
-"Before you I had never seen anybody with that eye color"
Kagome moved closer to him, their shoulders rasping their surface almost touching, they both felt the cooling burn on their flesh and made the effort to stay closer.
-"This had never happened to me" she said talking about their interaction "Before Kaede taught me about auras and energies, I had never felt Inuyasha's, but with you… it's like it's challenging me"
She sad resting her hans on the ground at her sides, brushing his arm slightly.
-"It's because my energy is on your level, they're equally powerful now"
-"You mean to say I'm as powerful as you?" She said not fully believing it.
-"You could say so, only that our powers are different, after defeating Naraku, your powers unleashed, I doubt they're even at their most potential capacity"
-"Huh…" she said smiling, the worry of her dreams flushing away.
Kagome wondered what happened that made him change this much.
Sure, Rin had definitely something to do with it but there was still something else.
In a way he was still Sesshomaru.
Elegant, composed, intelligent, imposing, confident.
But at the same time he was easy to be around, it was easy talking to him, like she didn't have to put a wall like she did most times, she didn't have to prove anything to him. She didn't have to fill any expectations from him.
She could almost swear he was a little shy.
She wanted to keep knowing him.
And that night, she ignored Inuyasha being away from her once more, like the flip of a switch, she could feel how every night it lost importance.
Hiding away.
The secrecy.
The compliance.
It lost importance…
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A/N: WHEW, I'm so sorry for abandoning this story for so long, I got caught in my own criticism and I felt discouraged thinking this story isn't as good as the many others I have read about this amazing pairing but I read again today and my own story had me feeling butterflies! If any of the original readers are still reading this… thank you so much.
I would love it if you left a review.
Till next time!