Problems With Dating the RWBY Girls
Chapter 53: Ozpin R63 Part 2, or: That One Sequel I Promised
There comes a time in every man's life when he is faced with a moral quandary of sorts, often one involving a woman. Jaune was no exception; he had always expected this day would come. Granted, he'd always thought that he'd be capable of making the morally correct decision when it did eventually arrive, but apparently he'd overestimated his own tolerance for turning down pussy.
At least, that was what he told himself. It was the only way to really reconcile his conscience with the fact that he was currently dicking down his own mother. Granted, it wasn't technically her, since his real girlfriend was in her head and all, but still. Awkward.
"Okay, wait," Ozpina said, making him stop.
"Yes?" Jaune asked.
"I can tell your heart's not in it, Jaune."
"How can you figure?"
"Well, for one, you're wearing a blindfold."
Jaune rubbed the back of his head. "I mean… how else do you expect me to do this? Whenever I open my eyes and see my mom's naked body, it's kind of an immediate boner killer. Literally the only reason I'm doing this is because you're in her head and because she encouraged me to do this, and man, that sounds weird to say."
"There's nothing weird about it at all, sweetie!" his mom cut in. "I know you love your girlfriend and I didn't want to come between you two, so I chose to encourage you to keep pursuing this relationship. After all, I would never let something as simple as moral guidelines end my son's first love."
Jaune shuddered. "Mom, no offense, but can you stop talking and let Ozpina take over again? Not that I don't want to talk to you, but it's kind of a bad time for it."
"How do you figure?"
Jaune cleared his throat nervously, then pointed down. He couldn't see his mother's face due to the blindfold and all, but the little squeak she gave told him everything he needed to know.
"Well, that officially killed the mood..." Ozpina grumbled. "I was hoping that for just one night we'd be able to move past this, but apparently not."
"Uh, excuse me, you're not the one who has to fuck your own mother," Jaune retorted.
"And what's the problem with that? Your mother is a very attractive woman."
"Yeah, and she's also my mother." Jaune sighed tiredly. "Man, I wish Dad was still here to give me advice… actually, wait, no I don't – he'd kill me for this. Good thing he conveniently died a few years back – not only does him being dead save me from being buried in a shallow grave, but it also saves the world from another instance of NTR."He paused for a moment. "No snappy comment, Ozpina?"
"None," she answered. "I'm an immortal who's been around long enough to develop just about every kink known to man and a few known only to dolphins, but even I won't cross certain lines, and NTR is one of those lines. I'd sooner feed all those degenerates to the Grimm."
"Good to hear you still have boundaries. I'll remember that the next time you try to convince me to have sex with my mother."
Ozpina grumbled something under her breath, then sighed. "Fine, fine… we'll try again some other time. Guess I'll just finish myself off in the bath or something."
"I don't mean to sound callous, but if this is such a deal breaker-" Jaune began, only for her to cut him off.
"No, I will not find someone else, thank you," Ozpina stated. "I am quite happy with you, and I will not allow something as simple as your feelings towards pseudo-incest complicate things."
Jaune had to hold back from pointing out that there was nothing 'pseudo' about this incest, at least from where he was standing.
"Anyway, your mother already gave us her blessing, so I see no reason to dissolve the relationship we have purely because of your feelings," Ozpina said.
"That's easy for you to say, but again, it isn't your mother," Jaune reminded her.
"Jaune, once a year, I have sex with a Grimm lady. My standards are essentially non-existent at this point."
"Then why do you keep dating me?"
"Because I like you, damn it. You're a good guy who treats me right, and I need a little bit of that at the end of the day. Now, do I wish you could get a little freaky from time to time? Yes. Actually, hell yes. I'd love it if you did something really crazy, like some totally out-there BDSM shit. Something like stripping me naked and tying me down, then dripping hot candle wax all over my naked body while whipping me and calling me a whore, then using me like your own personal cumdump. I'd be totally down for that."
"I am not doing any of those things to you while you're still in my mother's body," Jaune deadpanned.
"Then it seems we are at an impasse." Ozpina thought for a moment. "...Would exposure therapy help?"
"Exposure therapy?" Jaune couldn't help but ask, even though he knew he'd hate the answer.
"Yes, exposure therapy. Perhaps the only reason you have a complex about your mother's naked body is because you haven't seen enough of it yet."
"Okay, stop, stop," Jaune said, frantic. "You're just talking nonsense now, Ozpina. Hell, the only way we were even able to get this far tonight was because I wore the blindfold."
"Yes, and I now think the blindfold is a crutch," she insisted. "Hold still, I'm taking it off you."
"What?!" Jaune asked frantically moving out of the way as he heard Ozpina move towards him. "Don't do that! I don't want to see my mom naked!"
"Don't be ridiculous," Ozpina said. "I'm not going to force you to have sex with me or anything like that, I'm just going to have you watch me masturbate or something."
"That's my mom's body!"
"She gives her blessing for it!" Ozpina protested.
"It's okay, Jaune," his mother said, without even a hint of embarrassment in her voice. "I'd hate for something as silly as this to end your first relationship."
"Stay out of this, Mom!" Jaune shouted. "The last thing the world needs is more incest!"
"Jaune, don't talk to your mother that way," Ozpina chastised.
"Oh, shut up," Jaune said. "Look, I get what you're trying to do, but I'm not going for it, alright? Not tonight, at least."
Ozpina frowned. "Fine, then. We'll try again some other night."
Jaune relaxed at that. "Good. That's good. I'm glad we were able to come to an agreement."
"Sure. Do me a favor and close your eyes again."
He paused. "...Why?"
"Because I'm going to jerk you off," Ozpina said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I thought we just went over this?"
"We did, and it was established that the problem was that you only saw your mother whenever we tried having sex. So I'm solving that by taking away your sight, so to speak. Therefore, once you have covered your eyes, I will then proceed to jerk you off while pleasuring myself. It should be a good time."
"Well, that's still a problem," Jaune pointed out somewhat awkwardly. "Because… well, yeah, I can't see you, but I'll know it's my mom's body doing the jerking and pleasuring, so to speak."
Ozpina's eye twitched. "You are making things difficult, Jaune."
"To be fair, it's a difficult situation. I'm sure you understand."
"To a degree. You know, incest didn't used to be so taboo. It used to be expected of certain families, in fact."
"If you're trying to goad me into this, it won't work," Jaune deadpanned.
Ozpina frowned. "What will, then? Because I'm kind of stuck inside your mother, and the only way out is if she dies. And I think we'd all rather avoid that."
"Very much so," Jaune's mom chimed in. "Between sleeping with my only son or being dead, I'll happily take the incest."
Jaune shuddered. "Did you have to make it sound so creepy, Mom?"
"Sorry, honey."
"You're making it worse, you know. And anyway, that's not the only option," Jaune argued. "If you think the relationship won't work, then-"
"No," Ozpina said. "Absolutely not. I refuse to end things this way. Of all the things, I will not allow a good relationship of mine to be ended by random bad luck selecting an unfortunate host. And I think your mother agrees."
"That just raises another question," Jaune said. "Mom, why are you so insistent on making this work? I can always find another girl."
"Yes, but how long will that take?" his mom asked. "Jaune, I love you and all, but… well… you're not exactly good with girls. I think you'll figure it out eventually, but as of now? You need experience. And I'm more than happy to give you that experience."
Jaune retched. "Eugh… I thought this kind of thing only happened in Mistral..."
"I'm part-Mistralian," his mother said.
"That explains a lot, actually. Anyway, look, it's not happening tonight, so you two just go and… do what you have to do, I guess. I'd rather not know about what you're doing."
"Why not?" Ozpina asked. "It might make it more appealing to you."
"No, it won't," Jaune insisted.
"Honey, it's not too weird," his mom countered. "I'm just going to ride a dildo while holding a massage wand against my clit and watching porn."
Jaune retched again. "Yeah, no… not working. I'm just… gonna leave now and take some sleeping pills, because I can tell this is going to keep me up at night."
"Bye, Jaune," Ozpina said. "See you tomorrow. Have sweet dreams. I hope I'm in them, along with your mom."
Jaune couldn't get out of that room fast enough.
"So, explain this whole situation to me again," Blake insisted. "Because this is weird even by my standards."
"Alright, I'll give you the short version again," Jaune said. "So, I've secretly been dating and/or banging Ozpina for the last couple of months. It turns out she's an immortal wizard who's locked in eternal conflict with an evil magic Grimm lady, and she reincarnates whenever she dies. Well, she died, and she reincarnated, and it just so happened that she reincarnated into my mother. I was going to end the relationship, but both my mom and Ozpin insisted that I try to make things work, so I've been trying to make things work, but it's just too weird. Does that explain things?"
"A bit too well," Weiss said, looking sick. "So… how far have you tried taking things with your own mother, exactly?"
"Do you really want to know?" Jaune asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, but that answer kind of gave it away." Weiss shuddered. "Gross… I thought the Atlesians were the only ones obsessed with incest…"
"Hang on, I thought that was the Vacuans," Nora said. "Since they're a lawless shithole and all."
"I thought it was the Valeans," Ruby questioned. "Because they're very family-oriented."
"Is this going to be one of those situations where it turns out that thinking of incest as weird is a recent development, and then somehow Jaune is going to end up turning everyone on to incest as a kink, thus normalizing it so it isn't considered weird anymore?" Ren wondered.
"Yeah, nah, that's not happening," Jaune argued. "No way in hell is that happening; that'd be way too convenient."
"So, what do you intend to do, then?" Yang asked. "Because from the sound of things, you don't want to fuck your own mother."
"Uh, yeah, I thought that'd be obvious," Jaune said.
"I mean, sure, but your mom's smoking hot."
"This is Remnant," Pyrrha pointed out. "I'm pretty sure that everyone's mom is smoking hot on this planet. Can anyone here name a single mother they've ever seen on Remnant who isn't smoking hot?"
Ruby, Nora, and Ren raised their hands, and Pyrrha sighed. "Aside from the people with dead or otherwise absent mothers, who are obviously disqualified."
Ruby, Nora, and Ren lowered their hands.
"That's a good point, actually," Blake said. "I mean, I'll readily admit that my mom is really hot, but I still wouldn't fuck her just because she's hot." She paused. "Well, okay, maybe if she offered, and I was really drunk, and she just started coming on to me super aggressively and sensually, and-"
"Alright, we get it," Jaune said.
Blake pouted. "But I was just getting to the good part, where she assures me it's okay while kissing me and putting her hand down my pants! Can't you all indulge my fantasies a little bit?"
"No, because we do that every night when we hear you reading your smut and rubbing yourself raw to it," Yang pointed out. "You're welcome, by the way. It'd be so easy to just wear earplugs and block out the noise, but I can tell that you like having someone listen in, so I listen in. I hope the orgasms were worth it."
"They were, in fact, worth it," Blake said proudly.
"Hang on, I thought we weren't going to do this," Ruby said. "Because this is getting really weird."
"There's nothing weird about admitting that your mother is super hot and you'd totally do her if she offered," Yang argued. "I mean, there is for you, because your mom is missing and it'd be really weird if she showed up out of nowhere just to try and sleep with you… I mean, not that I wouldn't join in because she is hot, but-"
"Can we please not do this?" Jaune begged. "I was under the impression that this wasn't going to happen."
"That what wasn't going to happen?" Weiss asked.
"You know exactly what I mean, Weiss," Jaune said. "This is the part where you all start insisting that you aren't attracted to your own mothers, only to then immediately contradict yourselves by spelling out how hot your respective moms are, and then detailing the scenarios in which you'd willingly have sex with your own mothers."
"I mean, you're talking to the wrong person, then," Weiss said. "We all know I have intense mommy issues, that have very obviously manifested in a lesbian Oedipus complex."
Jaune just stared at her. He wanted to tell her to stop, but he could tell there was no stopping her now, so instead he just watched as she went off.
"I mean, I've been denied my mother's love for the last seven years," Weiss pointed out. "Obviously, that'd manifest in a secret desire to feel her love again, no matter how she chose to express it. So I'm just saying that if I were to return home, and she was to greet me at the front door in nothing but thigh-highs and lingerie, then inform me that the rest of the family and the staff were gone, and that it'd just be the two of us for the weekend, well… I wouldn't be opposed."
"It sounds like you'd be a lot more into it than that," Pyrrha pointed out.
Jaune sighed tiredly, then looked over to everyone else. "Alright, fine, I guess we are doing this. Okay, then – might as well get it out of the way. Blake and Weiss have already given us their weird-ass fetish scenarios that will never happen, so now we're just waiting for Yang and Pyrrha."
"What happened?" Ruby asked. "Because you sounded so opposed to this earlier."
"I was and still am opposed to this, both on the grounds of common decency and because this isn't helpful to my current situation at all," Jaune said. "But I can see that there's no stopping you lot of degenerates now that you've gotten started, so we might as well get this over with." He looked at Yang. "You have absolutely no filter, so I'm sure you'd just love to tell us how you'd fuck your mom if she showed up again."
Yang grimaced. "Seriously? I have standards."
Jaune relaxed. "Oh, thank the Gods. For a moment, I was afraid we'd lost you, same as the rest of these degenerates."
"Yeah. I wouldn't fuck my mom… I'd hatefuck my mom."
Jaune froze, then let out a tired sigh. "Should've known it was too good to be true..."
"Yeah, I'd hatefuck the shit out of my mom," Yang said. "Imagine it – that bitch ran out on me when I was a baby, and she only shows up years in the future because she wants some tail? Fuck that. Sure, I'd give in because she looks like a supermodel, but I'd do my best to prove how much I don't need her, and how much better than her I am. And what better way to do that than to scissor her while we scream insults and obscenities towards each other, then loudly proclaim how much we hate each other while we climax together? All while Ruby films it, of course."
Ruby balked. "Gross! Don't drag me into your degenerate fantasies!"
"Why not?" Yang asked. "If anime has taught me anything, it's that little sisters are only good for degenerate fantasies."
"Alright, that's it – no more hentai or ecchi for you, ever. I'm cutting you off, Yang."
"Joke's on you, I've committed that shit to memory," Yang said. "You'll have to give me amnesia to fully empty out the spank bank."
"What a lovely mental image," Jaune deadpanned. He turned to Pyrrha. "Alright, your turn."
Pyrrha flushed red. "W-what are you talking about? I don't have a fetish for my own mother."
"Pyrrha, please. You're sitting at this table and your mother is still alive. That means you've got a fetish for her. Why else would you hang out with the rest of us rejects? Ruby, Nora, and Ren not included, obviously."
Pyrrha's blush deepened "W-well… um… you know I've always been a champion fighter, right? It's been that way since I was young, and well, my mom was always my biggest fan… So I've always kind of wanted to have her walk in on me while I was lifting, then have her admire my muscles and how big and strong I've gotten, you know, really feeling up all my muscles… and then she'd start touching lower and lower, and eventually lead me over to a bench press, and-"
"Alright, alright, that's enough," Jaune insisted. "Okay, great, that's out of the way. Now, can we talk about what's actually important, namely my problem?"
"What problem?" Weiss asked. "Your super-hot mom wants to fuck your brains out. That's not a problem, it's an invitation. She's basically got a GPS pointing you to her pussy. What more do you need, a hand-written letter from her begging you to pillage her? Hurry up and go cum inside your mom, Jaune."
"No," he said. "You know what? I can see that talking to all of you was a waste of time."
"You've got that right, Jaune," Ozpina said.
"Yes, exact-" He paused. "...Ozpina? When did you get here?"
"Around the time that Miss Xiao Long started talking about hate-tribbing her mother," Ozpina said. "Which, gotta say, I approve. It sounds hot."
"Uh, thanks?" Yang said awkwardly. "So I guess all that stuff about you and Jaune's mom is true."
"What, that we're both super hot MILFs?"
"That you're both really into incest."
"And also that you're both super hot MILFs, too," Blake said. Everyone stared at her, and she shrugged. "What? We were all thinking it. Jaune, you'd have to be an idiot not to tap that."
"It's my-" He paused, then shook his head. "Forget it. From the sound of things, you'd all consider that an improvement."
"I mean, have you seen your mom?" Yang asked. "Because I'm seeing her now, and daaaaamn, bro. I would."
"Sorry, I'm off-limits to everyone but Jaune and myself," Mama Arc said. "Go sleep with your own mother if you want action that bad."
"Mom, please don't give the literal motherfuckers any ideas," Jaune deadpanned.
"Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, you know," Pyrrha said. "From the sound of things, you're just as much of a literal motherfucker as the rest of us. Possibly even more of one, since I haven't actually tried sleeping with my mother yet."
"Yet…?" Ruby asked, horrified.
Everyone ignored her. Jaune sighed. "...Alright, fine, I guess I'm already too far gone. But in my defense, I'm at least very apprehensive about it and haven't been able to go to completion just yet."
"Not yet, but that changes now," Ozpina announced.
Before Jaune had any chance to say something else, Ozpina slammed a piece of paper on the table. Jaune stared at it, then looked to her.
"I know I'm going to regret asking, but what is this?" he asked.
"A document stating that Mama Arc has legally changed her name," Ozpina announced, proud. "She's now legally Mama Ark."
"Yes, I can see that on the document. What's that have to do with me?"
"Well, you don't share a last name anymore, so you're not technically related. Therefore this technically isn't incest."
"Seriously?" Weiss deadpanned. "This is the best you could come up with?"
"Oh, I'd like to see you do better," Ozpina snapped. "There's only so much I can do when he's got a ridiculous taboo about incest he refuses to let go of."
"It's only ridiculous if you're literally as old as the concept of incest itself," Jaune said.
Weiss shook her head. "You want to know how to get someone who's reluctant about incest into incest? I'll show you how to do that."
She immediately pulled out her scroll and dialed a number. It rang exactly once before the person on the other end picked up.
"Hello, mother," Weiss announced. "In your intoxicated state, you're probably wondering why I've called you. I'll cut to the chase – I know that Father hasn't been showing you any kind of physical affection over the past decade or so, and that your fingers and toys are probably getting very old by now. You want some extra spice in your sex life. Well, I've got an offer for you – I'll be coming home for the weekend in a few weeks. Meet me at the front door dressed in a set of thigh-highs and lingerie, and make sure you're the only one in the house. We'll take things from there… Mommy."
With that, Weiss ended the call, then looked back to everyone else, all of whom were staring at her in astonishment. She crossed her arms. "Any questions?"
"Uh, no," Jaune said. "...What was that supposed to prove, other than the fact that you can apparently coerce your own mother into sleeping with you?"
"It was supposed to be an example of how to convince someone who's got qualms about incest to start partaking in incest," Weiss argued. "In this case, I played on the fact that my mother is very sexually unsatisfied, and that she was very drunk when I called her. It worked, and now I'll be sleeping with her and likely filming it in the coming weeks."
"Hot," Blake commented. "Mind sharing the footage with me? I plan on making use of it."
"I'd be insulted if you didn't," Weiss said.
Jaune facepalmed. "Good Gods, I'm surrounded by idiots, degenerates, and idiotic degenerates… Okay! Alright! Before anyone else tries coercing their family members into sex while they film it, why don't we brace ourselves for another one of Ozpina's harebrained schemes?"
"How'd you know I had a harebrained scheme?" Ozpina asked.
"Because I know you, and I know that you'd absolutely try to take inspiration from Weiss just now," Jaune said. "Go on, tell me I'm right. Do it."
"...Alright, you're correct," Ozpina grumbled. "But no matter. Might as well come out with it, I guess – Jaune, aren't you tired of being a virgin?"
"I'm not a virgin, though," he argued. "I've had sex with you many times, and sex with Salem once. I'm like the exact opposite of a virgin."
"Hang on, you fucked a Grimm-lady?" Nora asked. "Why?"
"Because she was there and she was naked, and Ozpina told me to do it," Jaune said.
"You'd sooner fuck a Grimm-lady than your own mom?" Blake asked.
"Yes, because I'm not related to the Grimm-lady."
"...How was it? Was it hot?"
"I mean, it was sex. Sure, she was a Grimm-lady, but even bad sex is still pretty good. I wouldn't do it again if I had a choice, but it wasn't the worst thing ever, I guess."
"Can we focus on my harebrained scheme, please?" Ozpina said, impatient. "Anyway, Jaune, you may not be a virgin as we know it, but you're an entirely different kind of virgin – a mommy virgin. You haven't fucked your own mother yet. That's very abnormal for a boy your age."
"That's abnormal for everyone in this day and age," Jaune pointed out. "This isn't the Great War-era anymore, Ozpina. People generally don't enter into incestuous relationships with their own siblings… well, unless they sit at this table, that is. Then it's shockingly common. Point is, it's hardly considered weird to be a mommy virgin, or whatever dumbass term you just used."
"But you're missing out on so much!" It wasn't even Ozpina this time, it was his own mother. "Think about how you're throwing away a perfectly good opportunity to give me the dick, Jaune!"
"Why are you so desperate for this?" Jaune asked.
"Because Papa Arc conveniently died a few years ago and I've been on the mother of all dry spells since then."
"Ha," Yang said. "Mother of all dry spells. I get it. I like her. Say, if you're interested-"
"Sorry, I'm only into Arc men," Mama Arc said.
"Damn. Well, at least I shot my shot."
"Did you just try to NTR Jaune with his own mother?" Ruby asked.
"I mean, that's putting it in a very bad light..." Yang said.
"I legitimately don't know whether I should thank you for trying to satisfy my mother or hate you for trying to NTR me," Jaune stated.
"I'd say that depends on how bad you actually secretly want to fuck her," Nora said.
"Oh. Well, in that case, thanks for that, Yang. Shame my mom is so picky about who she wants to bang."
"I just know what I like, okay?" Mama Arc said. "Once you go Arc, you never go back. I've had a brief taste of Jaune and I liked it, and now I want the whole thing, so to speak."
Jaune shuddered. "Eugh… Anyway, look, if a name change is the best you've got, then this is clearly never going to happen."
"I refuse to surrender," Ozpina stated. "I will make this happen, no matter what I have to do in order to accomplish it."
"I'm scared to ask what else you've thought of," Ren stated. "I mean, what sick confines of your mind have you delved into to try to convince Jaune to fuck his own mother? Are you going to strap him down and force him to watch mother/son porn, in some sick, twisted version of hypnosis? Are you going to force yourself on him until he relents? One shudders to imagine the depths of inhumanity you're willing to stoop to in order to get what you want."
"Uh, actually, I was just going to call his sister and have her convince him," Ozpina said, holding up her scroll.
"Oh," Ren said, deflating. "Damn, I spent all that time in silence, waiting for the right moment to pop in with something horrific, all for that? This sucks. I wonder if this is what NTR feels like."
"Lots of NTR talk today," Nora mused. "You know, when you think about it, isn't Jaune technically NTRing his mother whenever he has sex with Ozpina? Considering his mom wants to fuck him and all."
"Shh!" Ozpina said. "All of you, shut the fuck up! Saphron is answering!"
"Hello?" Saphron asked.
"Saphron," Mama Arc said. "Be a dear and tell your brother that he should be a man and fuck me until I can't walk straight and my eyes roll back in my head and my tongue hangs out and I'm making double-V signs with my fingers, would you?"
"Jaune, be a man and fuck Mom until she can't walk straight and her eyes roll back in her head and her tongue hangs out and she's making double-V signs with her fingers, would you?" Saphron asked.
"I'm surprised you're taking this so well," Jaune stated.
"Dude, I live in Argus. We literally just had a midget hop into a giant robot the other day and start powerslamming Grimm all over the place. I live in a constant state of fear because the only things keeping me from imminent death are said woman, her gigantic death robot and sick wrestling moves, and an increasingly flimsy hardlight barrier that's so poorly-designed that I can just tell that it's going to fail at the worst possible moment in the next few years. Compared to all that, Mom trying to get you to make her your personal cumslut is far, far down on the list. So please just hurry up and use her as your own cocksleeve so I can hang up and get back to what actually matters, namely trying to impregnate my wife?"
"Aren't you both girls?" Jaune asked. "How does that work?"
"Through the power of yuri, obviously," Blake said. "Look at this fool, girls – he doesn't understand the power of yuri. Look at him, look at him and laugh."
They all looked at him and laughed. Jaune felt a vein pulse in his forehead.
"Well, I'm not going to fuck Mom, so forget it," he declared.
"Pussy," Saphron declared. "Have you seen what mom looks like? She's about thirty percent ass, and another thirty percent tits. I'd totally do her if she wasn't so cock-crazy for you."
"Alright, I'm hanging up," Jaune said, shuddering. "Good Gods, this whole incest thing is getting worse and worse the longer it goes. Now apparently Saphron is into incest, too! Is there anyone else who's into incest I should know about?"
"Hey, guys," Coco said as she sauntered over. "Are we talking about incest? Hoo boy, let me tell you about my mom. She looks like me but older, and she smells like coffee beans and hot chocolate. Gods, I just want her to hold me down and force me to eat her out while I call her mommy."
Jaune's gaze narrowed. "I'm out of here."
He abruptly stood up and left the cafeteria, paying no attention to what was going on behind him, because all those people were idiots and he wanted nothing to do with them.
"So everyone you know wants to fuck their own mothers, huh?" Mercury asked.
"Yup," Jaune said. Mercury offered him a beer, which he accepted, quickly cracking it open and taking a swig. "Thanks, man."
"No problem, dude," Mercury said. "As someone who came from a really fucked-up family, I can sympathize with your plight. We are like brothers, only not fucked-up. We have to stick together."
Jaune raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me your team wants to fuck their own mothers, too?"
Mercury rolled his eyes. "Bro, you don't know the half of it. Cinder is basically Emerald's mother figure, and Emerald absolutely wants to fuck her. Unfortunately for her, Cinder only has eyes for Salem, who's totally creepy and evil because she's a Grimm-lady, but she also saved Cinder from being abused, so Cinder totally developed a complex for her. And then there's Neo."
"What's so bad about Neo?"
"I don't know, because she doesn't talk. But she's a girl on my team, so I automatically assume she wants to fuck her own mom." Mercury shook his head. "This shit is disgustingly common. It must be something in the water supply. Someone is putting chemicals into the water that are turning the fucking girls gay, specifically for their moms. One shudders to imagine what it might be doing to us guys. That's why I only drink booze."
"I wonder how all the dads feel about this," Jaune commented.
"Dads? Everyone knows dads are an endangered species on Remnant – they tend to die suddenly and conveniently, as to prevent NTR that would be caused by women fucking their own daughters. It's like being literally cucked to death, only not really because the mother/daughter stuff doesn't happen until long after they're dead. Hell, maybe that's what the chemicals in the water are doing to us – conveniently killing us so as to avoid NTRing us when our women inevitably sleep with their daughters."
"Ain't that a bitch." Jaune looked down at the beer in his hand, then chugged it.
There was a knock at the door, and Mercury went to answer it, only for Jaune to stop him.
"Don't," he said. "It's Ozpina."
"How do you know?" Mercury asked.
"Who else would it be?"
"Jaune," Ozpina said. "Open the door. I've found a solution."
Jaune sighed, then stood up. "Well, fuck. It's been fun, Mercury. I've gotta go take care of this; I'll be back to drink more and bitch about incest with you later."
"Sure thing, man," Mercury said.
Jaune made his way over to the door, throwing it open and stepping out into the hallway. "Alright, Ozpina," he said. "Let's get this shit over with."
"Yes, let's," Ozpina said. "Follow me."
She took his hand and began to lead him through the halls. She led him back to her office, where he took a seat across from her.
"Well, here we are," Jaune said. "What did you have to show me?"
"Promise me you won't freak out first," Ozpina said.
"You're not exactly inspiring confidence, here."
"Just promise me."
He sighed tiredly. "Alright, fine."
Ozpina relaxed at that, then pressed a button on her desk. The elevator chimed, and out stepped an identical copy of Jaune's mother. Jaune blinked, surprised, his eyes drifting from Ozpina-in-his-mother's-body to the other copy of his mother.
"Okay," he began. "What the fuck am I looking at?"
"It's me, honey," his mom said.
"Mom? But you and Ozpina share a body."
"Shared a body," Ozpina declared proudly. "I used the Relic of Creation to make a new body for myself."
"...What?" Jaune asked. "Why?"
"So you'd finally sleep with us."
"No, I mean why did you make a clone body of my mom? Wouldn't it have been easier to make two copies of your old body, one for you and one for my mom?"
Ozpina's proud smile faltered. "...Oh. Uh, oops."
Jaune facepalmed. "You can't use the Relic again, can you?"
"Uh, no. So I guess we're stuck making the most of this."
"Well, that's fucking perfect, because now there are two women I can't sleep with, since one is my mom and the other isn't my mom, but looks exactly like her. Great plan, Ozpina."
"Dear, please," Mama Arc chimed in. "Ozpina did her best."
"Yeah, well, she fucked it up," Jaune said. "I don't know why I'm surprised. This whole thing has been so colossally retarded that it really shouldn't take me off-guard like this, but admittedly I'm always astounded by how fucked-up things tend to get. First it was essentially being present for really hardcore BDSM between an immortal and a Grimm lady. Then it was trying and failing to fuck my own mother. Then it was learning that all my friends were into their own mothers, complete with explicit sexual fantasies for each of them. Finally, it's being faced with two identical copies of my mother who both want to fuck me and won't take no for an answer." He shook his head. "You know what? Fuck it. I don't even care anymore. You both want the Arc dick? Fine. Not like anyone cares."
And so Jaune took both his mothers to Pound Town. The end.
...Or is it?
...Alright, yeah, it is.
Jaune walked into the cafeteria, holding both his mothers by the hand. He made it about two steps in when he realized something had changed, namely that all of his friends save for Ruby, Nora, and Ren were sitting at the table with their respective mothers. They all turned towards him as he stood in the doorway, and he paused in surprise before letting out a heavy sigh.
"Oh, Gods damn it..." he said.
Here's a horrifyingly disgusting chapter for you all, just in time for Halloween. Because what's scarier than having to fuck your own mom? Probably a lot of things, mainly things that can actually kill you, but you've gotta admit, that's still pretty far up the list.
I mean this as respectfully as possible, but after this chapter, it's probably for the best if none of you ask me for anything ever again, because I'll totally do it and it will be awful, as this chapter shows. But in all seriousness, I hope you degenerates enjoyed this chapter. The only reason I did it is because some of you asked me to a long time ago and I was stupid enough to say yes, because I thought it'd be funny. I think it did turn out pretty funny, at least, so it's got that going for it. And thankfully, I believe this is the last of the incest chapters, because at this point I'm pretty much out of Arc women to write.
And no, I will not be adding another Arc woman if the next volume introduces one... unless it'd be really funny, but somehow I doubt that will happen.
Not much else to say besides that. I was cringing about the incest part of this chapter, but I do like the way it ended up in the end. Not my most entertaining chapter, but I'd call this one pretty good, all things considered. For a chapter that's both a sequel and about a subject matter I hate, I think it came together quite nicely.
Next update: Saturday, November 13.