Emma Swan was sitting at her desk in the Sheriff's station, not doing the paperwork she was definitely supposed to be doing. It was exactly a week after Regina had kissed her swollen lip better and it was all she could think about. She and the Mayor hadn't had much contact, and she was pretty sure the object of her desires was avoiding her although she couldn't be sure except for that time three days ago when they came face to face in the street.

She hadn't even gotten out a word before Regina was pointing wildly over her shoulder saying, 'OMG is that Rumple riding a unicorn while giving out rainbow stickers?' Emma had immediately spun round because well who wouldn't? The sight of Rumple riding a unicorn would be freaking hilarious and also she really wanted a rainbow sticker.

Well, as it turned out there was no Rumple or unicorns and sadly no stickers either, which is what she was most upset about. And then to top it off, when she turned back round Regina had just evaporated. So yeah, she thinks the brunette beauty is definitely avoiding her, although she really can't think of why. They had talked about the kiss and they had agreed it was totally just a bestie thing and they give platonic bestie affection all the time, so why was this any different? She didn't know, but what she did know was that she wasn't going to stand for it. She would make Regina acknowledge her, just as soon as she finished her paperwork, because she wanted the woman to talk to her, not set her on fire.

She was three reports deep almost an hour later when she was interrupted by the most annoying voice on the planet and definitely someone she really didn't want to deal with today.

'You Saviour, have some bloody explaining to do, ' shrieked Zelena.

Emma sighed as she lifted her head and smiled tightly. 'What exactly is it you want me to explain? Because if it's about the birds and the bee's, then I'm pretty sure it's far too late for that since you already gave birth' she drawled.

'Har har. You're a comic genius. Please immediately quit your job and become a full-time comedian,' sassed Zelena.

'Oh, yeah. I forgot your idea of funny is killing your sister's soulmate's wife, imitating her and then getting pregnant. Isn't it?' she shot back.

'This again? Seriously Swan, you need some new material. It's getting boring.'

'What do you want, Zee?'

'Oh right, yes. You need to fix whatever it is that you've done? Because I will kill my sister.'

'Zelena, you've been murder free for three hundred and ninety-four days and you are not going to break that streak by murdering your only sister, who we both know you now adore.'

Zelena pouted. 'Fine! But I will seriously hurt her if I have to put up with her miserable arse any longer, so fucking fix it, ' she demanded with a slight whine.

'Fix what? I haven't done anything,' yelled Emma. She was seriously getting sick of getting blamed for everything, when half the time, she didn't even know what day it was.

'Emma, darling. It always your fault. Well, unless when it's Snowing's fault, but I know it's not that this time because they had lunch together yesterday. My dear sister has been awful.'

Emma's face morphed in to seriously confused expression. 'What the fuck are you talking about? Snowing? Why does Regina hate it snowing? And she had lunch with it yesterday? You need help. And to think that I was the one being accused of having an addiction yesterday. If only they had spoken to you,' she rambled.

'If you're quite finished?' At Emma's nod, Zelena continued. 'Snowing is your mother and fathers ship name.'

'They haven't got a fucking ship, Zee.'

Zelena growled. 'I swear, Swan. If you interrupt me one more time, I will...'

'You'll what?' Smirked Emma. There's no way Zelena would do anything remotely wicked, when her sponsor was Gepetto. He's one of the main reasons she had redeemed herself. He had took her under his wing when he was assigned to her by the RVS (Reformed Villains Society), which was founded by Snow and Astrid, since they're apparently the epitome of good. The blue fairy also tried to get in on it, but everyone agreed she was far too sketchy, so they'd veto'd that idea.

It turns out that Zelena is actually pretty decent at interior design and now she and Gepetto run a business called " ZG's renovations." She designs and decorates the rooms and he does the renovations and builds the furniture. They work brilliantly together and he's like a dad to her. She even calls him Papa, which works for well for them since she and Pinocchio are both ginger.

Zelena gave her a malicious smile. 'I will go to the diner at exactly six am and buy every single bear claw they possess and we all know you don't get there until at least seven,' she said sweetly.

Emma gasped dramatically. 'You wouldn't dare!'

'Oh? I most certainly would!'

'As if they ever called Regina the evil one.'

Zelena waved her off. 'Right, back to my sister. She's been a nightmare all week, I'm surprised she's even made it to work because she's been sat around in sweat pants. Fucking sweat pants, Emma. Plus she's just eating ice cream and watching The Notebook continuously while simultaneously blasting Sam Smith-lay me down on repeat. I swear, I'm on the verge of a breakdown. And get this. Yesterday Robin.'

Emma's face scrunched up at the name but Zelena ignored it and carried on, 'knocked on the door. She took one look out of the window, flicked her wrist and changed her outfit to all black. She then proceeded to open the door and Robin jokingly said, "You look like you're in mourning, who died?" And she fucking answered with, "my feelings for you, bye" and slammed the door in his face.'

Emma let out a snort at that and Zelena smirked. 'Ok, so that was actually pretty hilarious. But nevertheless, it's getting annoying now and I need it to stop,' she finished with a whine.

'I don't know what you want me to do,' sighed Emma sadly. She hated the thought of Regina hurting, but she really didn't have any idea how to make it better especially when she didn't know what was wrong in the first place.

'Well, that's where I can help you. You love my sister, right?'

'Well, yes. Of course! She's my best friend in the entire world.'

'No! Swan, I know you're in love with her in a non-platonic way, so don't bullshit me, bitch.'

'LOL, that's hilarious. Zelena, you're so silly, God that was the best joke. Man you crack me up,' flushes Emma, while laughing hysterically.

'Right! We both know that it wasn't a joke. You are disgustingly head over heels in love with her and you have been for forever. Also, did you just say lol? As an actual word? Because that's a bit fucking weird,' deadpans Zelena.

'Zee, I am not in love with-'

'Bearclaws!'

'Fucking fine! I'm in love with your sister, ok? Now go on, laugh it up,' spat Emma.

She knew it was ridiculous. Regina had a whole bastard soulmate that's she was destined to be with. Granted, he was just a male version of Emma and he also smelled a lot worse, like pine cones and dirt. He was also extremely boring and she didn't actually know what his purpose was apart from following Regina around like an obsessed stalker. But sadly he was the one with the goddamn tattoo, so she would just have to get over it.

'I would laugh if you both weren't so bloody pathetic. Moping around and sulking like love sick teenagers. You're both grown women, for heaven's sake. It's revolting,' sneered Zelena.

'You know, Zee. Sometimes words are hurtful. I'm sure they teach you that at RVS,' scowled Emma.

'Yes, we'll. I don't really listen because your mother's voice is like nails on a blackboard. Three minutes in and I'm already thinking of ways to top myself. Now, how are you going to fix your mess?'

'I really don't know, because I have no clue what I've done wrong,' groaned Emma, before she flung herself back on her chair. The chair in question proceeded to tip backwards, resulting in her landing in a heap on the floor. Zelena instantly starting cackling.

Seriously, could her life get any worse? It was fucking one thing after another and not to be dramatic, but she was on the verge of throwing herself off the clock tower. And now she had to figure out how to make Regina happy again with no clues as to why she was sad in the first place. She would need some help and it for sure would not be Zee. There was no way she could cope with the eccentric, slightly insane but not so wicked anymore witch for more than an hour at a time, without wanting to blow her own head off.

'Haven't you got some tea to be drinking somewhere or worshipping of the royal family? That's what British people usually do, isn't it?' Snapped Emma from where she was still lying on the floor.

'Wow! I've never heard something so humorous in all of my life. Seriously, you're wasting yourself as a Sheriff when you could make millions with your super comedic comebacks, ' drawled Zelena sarcastically.

'Get out, right now! Because I'm about five seconds away from sending you back to Oz myself,' snapped Emma, as she picked herself up while groaning in pain. She's pretty sure she's broken her back. She briefly wonders if Goosey Goosey Gander is a real person, before she's snapped out of it by Zelena's overly British accent.

'Ok, darling. It was lovely talking to you. And don't forget to fix your mess, because if I have to listen to Sam Smith one more time, well, I might just be forced to give that bug of yours a makeover and we wouldn't want that, would we? Even though I think green would suit you perfectly. Toodle pip,' cackles Zelena, before she vanishes in a puff of green smoke, leaving a horrified Emma frozen in the middle of the Sheriff's station.

Emma eventually snaps out of it and she attempts to sit at her desk again, but this time without throwing herself off her chair. She really needs to finish the paperwork that was due four hours ago, and she also needs to enlist Henry to help her come up with a plan to fix whatever she's fucked up with Regina.

It only just hits her that Zelena said that the Mayor had told Robin that she didn't have feelings for him anymore. Did that mean she had a chance? No, surely not... But if she came up with something absolutely spectacular to declare her love, then maybe, just maybe, she might be able to woo her. Omg, this was fantastic. Well, not for Robin. He's probably in his tent in the forest sobbing into his bird food, while his merry men tell him how much of an honourable man he is. But who cares about that, certainly not Emma. Nope! She has more important things to think about. Like finishing this paper work, texting Henry, faking a break up with Hook and coming out to her parents. Though she could possibly do those two things together and then finally pulling off the biggest and bestest most romantic gesture she can think of which will have the stunning Ex Evil Queen/Mayor falling head over heels in love with her. And then they'll get married and have little EvilSaviour badass babies and live happily ever after with no magical fuckery forcing them to.

Ha! In your face Tinker Bell. Who needs fucking fairy dust and a lion tattoo, which was fucking terrible by the way. Killian could have done a better job with his hooked hand, to tell you who you can and can't love. She is the fucking Saviour, the product of true love and a literal goddamn curse breaker. She's got this! Yes, she has definitely got this. Because she is Emma Swan and nothing ever goes wrong for her, does it? No, absolutely not!

A/N No update tomorrow because this comic genius is turning 30 but I hope you enjoy this chapter :)