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A Wicked, White Cravat
by Anton M.
Chapter 7: The Darcy Townhouse
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London stank.
There was no way around admitting it. They were hit with the smell of linseed oil and turpentine of new paint, the pungent fish of the market, and various side alleys that reeked as unsanitary as ever, even in the wintertime. The smell was considerably better than during the summer, and they all grew accustomed to the attack on their senses, but at first it was such as surprise to Elizabeth that she wrinkled her nose in laughter. She had forgotten the smell.
Elizabeth felt lucky that she did not have to grow up in the town and that Pemberley was Darcy's main residence.
Their aunt Eleanor greeted them with all four children in tow. The second youngest, Frederik, hugged Elizabeth's leg and refused to let go. The oldest, Emmeline, jumped into Jane's arms without warning and Mrs. Gardiner softly admonished her children. Her eyes were soft, however, and she agreed with their eagerness.
"You have been most warmly missed," their aunt said, hugging both women before greeting Mr. Bennet. "Are you hungry? It is too soon for dinner but I can have something prepared."
"Thank you," Mr. Bennet said. "But I fear that I will not have the time. I am to call on Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley, both, and I must set out immediately to not be accused of begging for a dinner invitation."
Mr. Bennet, true to his word, left a minute later, hoping but not promising that he would be back by dinnertime.
Their belongings were taken upstairs before Elizabeth and Jane freshened up and joined their aunt in the parlour, sharing the details of all that had happened. Frederik sat in Elizabeth's lap, but the other three children were building a tower out of wooden blocks in the corner.
"We expected Jane to be engaged based on your last letter," aunt Eleanor said before thanking the maid for the refreshments. "But, Lizzie, I could not have been more surprised by your news. You seemed quite determined to despise the man, and yet, in your next letter, you were engaged to him! Pray tell, what changed?"
Elizabeth quietly told the story of how the engagement came to be, upfront about what happened without using the words that would expose the children to her indecent behaviour. She felt the shame of her words, but her aunt courteously acknowledged how difficult a man Mr. Collins must have been to drive her most sensible niece to do such a thing. Her horror grew a thousandfold when she heard what Mr. Collins had attempted to do to her niece.
"I know you said dislikable things about Mr. Darcy, but he does not sound immoral or dishonourable. Where is he from?"
"He is from Pemberley of Derbyshire, I do believe it might be close to where you grew up."
Aunt Eleanor's eyes widened. "Your Mr. Darcy is the Mr. Darcy of Pemberley?"
Elizabeth squirmed a little under her aunt's gaze. "I did not realise I had not said so. Are you acquainted?"
Aunt Eleanor blinked for a moment, refocusing her gaze on her niece, feeling the full force of her realisation. "You are to be the next Mistress of Pemberley."
"Yes."
"Please excuse me. I admit I had not realised that your future husband is Mr. Darcy of Pemberley. I have met him."
"Truly?"
"Yes," aunt Eleanor said. "I do not believe he will remember me for it was only for two days four years ago and the circumstances were… most difficult. I do not think I saw him smile once. But he is most loved and respected by his tenants and servants and I have not a bad word to say about him."
"You cannot possibly arouse my curiosity in such a way and not elaborate on the circumstances of your meeting."
Aunt Eleanor smiled, most curious about how a man of high station and rigid demeanour constrained by his sphere felt about being engaged to her lively and (occasionally) impertinent niece.
"We met four years ago at Derbyshire near Lambton. My sister and her husband are Mr. Darcy's tenants. Spring flood had caused the river to overflow in the middle of the night and flooded my sister's home. In addition, they had just became parents for the first time. Mr. Darcy had business up north and rushed back to help with the damage and arrange for a new home. Meanwhile, my sister became unable to feed her baby from the stress of what happened, and so, Mr. Darcy rode his horse for nearly 14 hours straight to find a wet nurse. He paid for it. I do not believe he has a more devoted tenant now than my sister and his husband."
"I am… at a loss. You are sure this was Mr. Darcy?"
"Positive."
Elizabeth, surprised beyond measure, was also ashamed of her surprise. She did not, after all, know Mr. Darcy well at all, but what she heard from her aunt made her in awe of the man she was to marry. Here she had been, judging Mr. Wickham from his pleasant countenance, a man with debts and rakishness so hidden that you had to experience them yourself to believe them. And then, she judged Mr. Darcy from his apparent taciturn haughtiness, a man whose morals and kindness were so hidden that you had to become a part of his most inner circle to witness a most warmhearted man who did not boast about his kindness.
Elizabeth sat, in awe, only half-aware of her aunt's conversation with her sister.
On Wednesday, after rising early and spending the entire day being poked and prodded for new dresses, the Bennets arrived at the Gardiners with no time to spare. They had barely sat down at the parlour when Mr. and Miss Darcy were announced. Even Mr. Gardiner had managed a spare few hours from his work to meet the man.
Elizabeth made the first introductions.
"Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, my uncle and aunt. Mr. Darcy, my future husband."
She had yet to get used to the word husband, and even Darcy stirred at the mention of the name. He held Elizabeth's gaze as he bowed and stepped to the side to introduce his sister. They both stood tall, but where Darcy had dark eyes and hair, his sister had a lighter complexion with blonde curly hair and blue eyes. She had a shy way about her.
Everyone took a seat.
Darcy, stiff from the discomfort of meeting new people, tried to make an effort to pay attention to Elizabeth's connections and was surprised to find a familiar face.
"Why, you are Mrs. Eleanor Gardiner," he said, in a manner so un-Darcy-like that even Miss Darcy stared at her brother in wonder. "We are acquainted. How is your sister, Mrs. Morton? And her husband?"
Aunt Eleanor smiled. "They are both well, I thank you."
"And their son Ambrose? I enquired and heard that he did not suffer any lasting damage. Is this still the case?"
"He is a healthy and mischievous four-year-old now, always up to no good."
"I am happy to hear that," Darcy said. Looking slightly more at ease, he ignored the general bewilderment when he changed the topic. Conversation soon began about the beauty of Pemberley, and Elizabeth was aware of Miss Darcy's surprised eyes on her when she gently teased her betrothed. Mr. Darcy, instead of being cross, blushed but smiled and carried on. Miss Darcy failed to hide her bewilderment.
Aunt Eleanor observed the young man she had met four years ago, soon after his father had passed away, and the difference was quite stark. She had thought that Darcy's offer of marriage was borne out of honour, for no letter told her otherwise, but as she observed their interactions, it was evident that the man was in love with her niece. He appeared to struggle not to stare at Elizabeth, but when she said something and he had the excuse to look at her, his eyes expressed his pensive, hopeful longing. Aunt Eleanor could not tell the depth of Elizabeth's feelings, but by the look on Darcy's face, she had not expressed any (deeper) sentiments.
They were carried away by more pleasant conversation than any party had expected, and soon it was decided that the Miss Bennets and Miss Darcy were to spend the day together on the morrow. Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bennet had to meet Mr. Darcy's lawyer for the settlements, and so Mrs. Gardiner and Miss Darcy's companion would accompany the women.
Mr. Darcy and his sister had a prior engagement for dinner on Wednesday, but they invited everyone over for a dinner on Thursday and the entire party decided to leave for Hertfordshire on Friday morning, together.
Overall, if Mr. Darcy felt like he was lowering his standards for company worthy of his presence and respect, Elizabeth detected no sign of it.
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Mr. Bennet met with his soon-to-be sons in front of Mr. Kingdon's office on Hatton Street. Greetings and pleasantries were shared, but they were fifteen minutes early, and so, Bingley suggested that they walk to the nearby Gray's Inn Gardens to get some warmth. It was a rare morning, cold and clear but sunny, with no wind in sight.
"Any news of Mr. Collins?" Mr. Bennet asked.
"None, unfortunately, other than that he is not in Meryton visiting his school friend, nor in Essex with his sister, nor in Kent, although my aunt's lack of response to my letter is becoming worrisome. I have now employed the help of six men to find him, one of them my aunt's old steward who knows what Mr. Collins looks like. I cannot imagine he can hide much longer."
"Thank you for all your efforts," Mr. Bennet said.
"It is the least I can do," Darcy replied.
"How far do you think we will get on the entail matter?" Bingley asked.
"The Court of Common Pleas will be approached by Mr. Kingdon on Mr. Bennet's behalf, but I cannot imagine that they have any available times before Christmas. I believe the soonest we can proceed and the common recovery suffered, is in January."
"Do you believe Mr. Kingdon will agree to be tenant to the praecipe?"
"He is under my employment, of course he will agree. He has done it before. But because you, Mr. Bennet, are both the tenant in tail and the demandant, the person on whom the new settlement is written, we will set up a trustee for the role of the demandant." To Mr. Bennet's confused face, Mr. Darcy smiled. "It is not as complicated as it sounds. I will be there every step of the way. It is in all of our interest that Longbourn House remain with your wife and your daughters should the worst happen."
They returned in time to enter Mr. Kingdon's office. It was a dark, tobacco-filled room where all surfaces were covered with books or papers. The settlement papers were ready, and Mr. Bingley and Mr. Bennet signed the first. But when Mr. Kingdon slid the settlement papers for Elizabeth in front of Mr. Bennet, he blanched.
"Mr. Darcy!"
"Mr. Bennet," Darcy replied, nodding.
"It is too much!"
"It is no less than what the future Mrs. Darcy is entitled to."
"Thirty thousand!" he exclaimed. "What we had for her— sir— It is but a drop in the ocean."
"Which is why I insisted that you keep it for the rest of your daughters."
Mr. Bennet sat down, red in the face, quite alarmed.
"I fear there is nothing you can say that will change my mind on the matter," Darcy said, stifling his smile. "I am happy for your reaction as it proves that you and your family are as honest as you appear, but I will emphasise my station in society, here, to press for your approval. Nothing you say will have any effect on me, except perhaps to increase it further. Please, sir—"
Mr. Bennet, almost afraid to tie his name to such high numbers, signed before Mr. Darcy could make him more uncomfortable. Having signed and sealed all documents, all men stayed in the office for the better half of the day to discuss the barring of the entail and start writing up paperwork regarding the matter.
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Gracechurch Street was a most convenient location for anyone needing the skills of a dressmaker, so much so that Jane, Elizabeth and aunt Eleanor needed to only step outside of their house to take advantage of it.
As agreed, Miss Darcy arrived in her carriage with her companion Mrs. Annesley, and introductions and morning greetings were shared. All women had dressed for the weather, and everyone agreed that they had been blessed with a most beautiful sunshine.
Miss Darcy had a quiet, gentle manner about her that was more shy than nervous. She started to address Elizabeth formally before Elizabeth took her elbow in hers and assured that sisters should be free to call each other by their given name, and all three to-be sisters excitedly agreed to do so.
"Miss— I mean to say, Elizabeth," Georgiana blushed. "It was not until Friday that I heard that my brother is to marry to you! I have had nearly a week to get used to it, and I apologise if I do not quite yet know how to contain myself."
"You are doing quite splendidly, I assure you," Elizabeth said, and Georgiana smiled shyly.
"I cannot believe I am to have five sisters! It is so much to get used to. What is it like to have so many sisters?"
Elizabeth and Jane shared the experience, how you could never quite be sure who had taken your favourite bonnet and which shawl, exactly, belonged to whom. They shared their different interests and talents and the general madness that could sometimes be experienced in Longbourn House before a dinner party or a ball.
"I wish I had that many sisters to grow up with," Georgiana said as they stepped into the dressmaker's shop that Jane had preferred on the previous day. Jane patiently stood to be fitted while Mrs. Annesley and Mrs. Gardiner appeared to have made a most warm acquaintance, so much so that they stood together by the window talking quietly. Georgiana sat next to Elizabeth.
"My brother has told me so much about you," Georgiana said, failing to hide her smile but lowering her voice. "He told me that you take an interest in estate matters?"
"I do," Elizabeth admitted, unsure if she should have been ashamed of herself, but she need not have worried.
"I am thrilled that you do!" Georgiana replied. "Unfortunately, I find estate matters quite dull, but William has been alone for so long, and he feels his responsibilities most strongly, it is a relief to me that you have such an unusual interest. I dare say it must have been why he offered for you. He is most excited to discuss and share Pemberley with you."
"Almost as excited as I am to hear about it," Elizabeth replied, hesitating. "Tell me, do you feel as if I am taking your place? You will see me make mistakes, and I have a lot to learn before I am ready to take on my duties as Mistress of Pemberley. I sometimes feel unworthy of the position I am to hold."
"No! No, I feel no intrusion. Please, do not feel unworthy on my account." Georgiana wrung her hands together in her lap. "I love my home dearly, but I would never wish to be a mistress of such an estate. It is a relief to me that you are interested in such work. If— when I get married, I would hope to live in a much more modest estate."
"Such a wish does you credit," Elizabeth replied. "Your brother is exceedingly proud of you, as you must know."
"Oh he is so kind! But tell me, how did you two get engaged? He sent me an express to prepare the Darcy townhouse for your arrival, telling me of your engagement, but he did not tell me how he proposed."
Elizabeth paused, thinking. On one hand, Georgiana had nearly eloped with Wickham and it was quite possible that she herself had kissed a man. One the other hand, her future husband had not felt comfortable sharing this detail with his sister, and Elizabeth might invite his disapproval by doing so.
"Before I tell you, tell me — is your good opinion, once lost, lost forever?"
Georgiana hid her laughter in her glove-covered palm. "Oh dear! You truly do know my brother!"
Elizabeth smiled. "Nevertheless, I am worried that I might forever alter our relationship by telling you and I would never wish for you to hate me."
"I could never hate you!"
Elizabeth took a moment to think about it, observing Georgiana. Georgiana was raised as a genteel woman and could seem almost as eager as her own younger sisters without any of the ridicule or exposure. But if Elizabeth was about to invite a lifetime of resentment from Darcy's closest family, she could not live with it.
Just as Elizabeth had made up her mind and opened her mouth, everyone's conversations halted at once and Elizabeth was much too aware of the silence to fill it with her scandal. However, soon everyone was back on the street and Elizabeth and Georgiana walked slightly ahead of the others.
Georgiana, most curious of Elizabeth's response, leaned closer to her ear and muttered, "I would forgive you if you were with child."
Elizabeth, amazed, did not react while Georgiana looked away as if she hadn't just said anything significant.
"No," Elizabeth whispered. "I am not. That is— I could not be." She rushed to the side of the street to look at mouth-watering pastries but stopped when she knew them to be far enough from Mrs. Annesley.
"I kissed Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth admitted.
Georgiana stared at her for a moment before she laughed into her palm.
"You did not!" she replied, but rather than containing judgement, her exclamation was filled with joy. "Did he respond in kind?"
Elizabeth had never been asked that question, and as she thought about that night, she was surprised to discover that he had kissed her back. She had never thought of it!
"He did."
Georgiana stifled her smile, feeling more comfortable with her new sister than she ever had around any of her companions, Miss Bingley or any of their acquaintances.
"Where were you? Did you know he was in love with you then? Oh he must have been so scandalised! He can look so severe with other people, I cannot imagine what it must have been like."
"We were in Mr. Bingley's drawing room and it was full of people. I have a… most unpleasant cousin who had been proposing marriage to me for a full week who had started to insult me, and I could not take it anymore."
"Oh, dear! You must be a brave woman indeed to do such a thing. I wish I had been there to see it."
"It was quite a spectacle."
"So he proposed because you kissed him in public?"
"Yes," Elizabeth replied. "He confirmed a few days later that he would have never offered for me had I not scandalised the whole of Hertfordshire with my behaviour."
"I do not believe it!"
Elizabeth squeezed Georgiana's arm. "I do not wish to badmouth your brother, Georgiana. He is a wonderful man, and I do not fault him for this."
"But he is so altered! It cannot be! Oh it is such a change, you do not know! He is a most wonderful brother, but he can go weeks and months, brooding in his silence and trying not to crumble under the weight of so many responsibilities. He is exceedingly altered! Yesterday, we sat in the drawing room for two hours, talking! If anything, you have had a most severe impact on his attitude and I am most grateful that he found you. A better match for him could not exist, I am sure of it. Did you know that he was in love with you, then?"
"I did not."
"Did you know he would offer for you?"
"I actually rejected him outright when he first tried. I was so ashamed of my actions, I had planned to become a governess in London to escape what I had done."
Georgiana stepped in front of cobbler, as if to consider one for her shoes, but did not reply. She observed her gloves, deep in thought.
"You are kind not to think me a mercenary," Elizabeth said, unsure of what to make of Georgiana's silence. But a moment later, Georgiana took her arm and they continued walking.
"I could never think you a mercenary. My brother has revealed too much of your character for me to think such a thing."
They waited for the others to catch up to them and continued to visit different stores and dressmakers while getting to know each other. Elizabeth observed and experienced the power of connections in a way she never had before. Although Georgiana did not show any superiority, her upbringing, clothes, and status in society ensured that many shopkeepers greeted her by name, and they would often stop on the street when meeting acquaintances. Georgiana was polite in making introductions and made small talk, but she did not appear to enjoy the interruptions.
Before their visit to the last dressmaker, in a more established, expensive part of town, Georgiana stopped in front of the store and paused.
"Miss— that is, Elizabeth, I have something for you. That is, I mean—" Realising her lack of presents for the other two women, she blushed, unsure how to proceed. When Jane realised her hesitation, she squeezed Georgiana's arm.
"Please do not feel bad — all my life, my mother has insisted on giving me more pretty dresses and bonnets than to Lizzie. She is to be Mistress of Pemberley! Please, do not feel bad on our account."
When aunt Eleanor smiled in agreement, Georgiana continued. "I do not wish it to be a burden and if it is not to your liking, please feel no obligation to like it or wear it, and we would most certainly alter it to your preference."
In the store, a light green gown was introduced to Elizabeth, with delicate, tasteful embroidery.
"It is beautiful!"
Georgiana beamed. "It was our mother's. If it is to your liking, Mrs. Ramsbury is to tailor it with an empire waist and some adjustments to the sleeves and neck. But only if you like it."
"But it is such a special garment," Elizabeth said. "Are you sure it should not be yours?"
"No, I am quite too tall for it already even without giving it an empire waist, and green makes me look ill," she replied, most happy to give her new sister a gift and even happier that she seemed accepting of it. "It should be yours."
"Thank you, Georgiana." Elizabeth embraced her new sister. "It is beautiful. I cannot thank you enough."
As others gushed around them about the material and the intricate pattern, Georgiana relaxed a little. She did not prefer so much attention on herself.
She called Elizabeth to stand further away from the others. "I do not mean to pressure you, but do you think you would agree to wear it to your wedding?"
Elizabeth had a dress that they were altering for her wedding (their new dresses would not be ready for it), but it did not have one tenth of the style and delicacy of this one. "Of course! If you have no objections and it fits, it would be an honour."
Georgiana, knowing how vehemently most women in her circle would have disagreed to wear such an outdated dress, regardless of its potential, was so taken aback by Elizabeth's warm acceptance that she lost her thought.
"Are you quite all right, Georgiana? If it brings out too many emotions that you fear would offend me, please tell me. I love your gift and I do wish to please you, but I could never accept it if you are conflicted about giving it to me."
"No! No, I am not at all conflicted," Georgiana replied, lowering her voice. "But, you see, our mother got married in this dress and she is wearing it on one of our favourite portraits in Pemberley. It would be the best surprise for my brother if he felt that she was there, with us, for the wedding. It is silly, to be sure, but…"
Elizabeth embraced her in such a tight hug that Georgiana was sure no friend had ever embraced her with such care and love and emotion. Growing up with a brother and a cousin and a father before that, all men and all much older than her, had not taught her the comfort of showing one's emotions easily.
"It is not silly," Elizabeth whispered. "You have now given me so many reasons to wear it I fear it will not fit!"
A few minutes later, after having the help of her sister and aunt Eleanor to put on such an elaborate dress, she appeared in front of Georgiana, Mrs. Annesley, and Georgiana's dressmaker, Mrs. Ramsbury. Everyone stood in awe, and Elizabeth felt a little breathless in a garment that flowed so beautifully and meant so much to the Darcys.
"You look beautiful! It brings out the green in your eyes," Jane said, overwhelmed with happiness that Georgiana had taken such a liking to them.
"You look like a princess! Oh I cannot wait to see William's face when you wear it!"
It was clearly a dress so important to Georgiana that nobody said a bad word about the outdated bodice, and both Georgiana and Mrs. Ramsbury assured Elizabeth that fitting it to the current fashion could be done before the wedding. Details were agreed upon and Georgiana would not allow Elizabeth to pay for the alterations.
"I never spend my allowance for dresses," she said. "Please let this be a gift from me."
Elizabeth had no choice but to agree.
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It felt rude to be arriving early to dinner to the Darcy townhouse, but the Bennets and the Gardiners had been invited to be early, and so, half an hour before seven, they stepped out of their carriages. It was dark, and a row of torches lead to the front door behind huge, black gates. It was most unusual for townhouses to have them, but then, the Darcy townhouse was not situated in the centre and could afford to have a small garden. A man opened the gates, and everyone whispered in awe as boots were brushed clean next to the front door. Before they could knock, another man opened the high front door, and such was everyone's awe that no words were said as their winter coats were taken away.
For the first time since getting engaged to Darcy, Elizabeth felt scared.
It was too big, it had too many servants and footmen and other employees, it had high ceilings and chandeliers and, for the first time, Elizabeth felt that Darcy should not have offered for her. She did not fit, her attire, her manners, her words… she could not possibly fit in this world. She was glad to have made up her hair with little pearls, and worn her prettiest dress, but so intimidated was she that she wished she could go home and get changed into a dress she did not own, for she owned nothing that was suitable for Darcy's townhouse.
Darcy and his sister appeared, both looking every bit of the their station in impeccably tailored clothes made of expensive material. Elizabeth was certain that Darcy wore better clothes among the ton for she had never seen him look as proud — and dashing — as he did in his black form-fitting pantaloons and Hessian boots. The pantaloons were so revealing of the shape of his legs that Elizabeth felt them to be downright indecent. Among the ton, her fiancé was a man of fashion, or at least paid his employees to keep him as such, and it was a revelation to Elizabeth.
These past few days, whenever she had free time and all through the previous night, she had been stitching and embroidering her fiancé a white, linen cravat, and she had hoped to give it to Darcy tonight but she saw now how inadequate her attempts would be. Regretful for having taken it with her, she felt its weight in her pocket.
In order to not expose herself as the country-bred woman that she was, Elizabeth faced an enormous plant of unknown origin, and, for a brief second, tore the house down to its essentials — stone, brick, wood, paint, cloth. Everything it was made of had been soil once, and it would one day be so again. Darcy and his sister had had a stroke of luck, being born to inherit this, and they were not much different from Elizabeth, other than being born to different parents. There was no reason to be intimidated.
She had once told Darcy that her courage always rose at every attempt to intimidate her, and had she been any other guest at any other house, it would have held true immediately.
But she was not just a guest.
She was to be a mistress of this house, and she was determined to hold her head high.
"Miss Elizabeth," Darcy said, touching the area above her elbow not covered by her glove. "Are you all right?"
Georgiana had started a tour of their house, and although everyone could be seen and heard, they had all walked to the other side of the hallway.
Darcy, aware of the eyes that kept him in check, lifted her chin to see her eyes. Elizabeth was so taken with his tenderness and his imposing figure that she stared at his chest as she spoke.
"Yes, thank you."
He leaned slightly closer and made sure he held her gaze. "Are you sure? I can call for a doctor—"
"No! Sir, please. I am all right. Perhaps it has been too long since I ate."
"Of course," Darcy agreed, and instructed the closest servant to bring them fruits before Elizabeth had even realised what had happened. "I will not have you faint on me," he said, kindly, offering her his arm and tucking it securely by his side. As they were approaching the others, he asked, "Is our home to your liking?"
"I fear there must be kings and queens who would refuse to leave your dwellings if given the invitation."
Darcy laughed, and when he kissed the top of her head with tenderness and affection as if he'd done it all his life, Elizabeth felt like she was floating.
They reached everyone else, and fruits were soon delivered. Darcy released Georgiana from being the centre of attention and took over explaining the more interesting history of the house, what his parents had done to it, and all the funny stories that had happened here. His voice was confident, his comments easy-going, and he acted as Elizabeth had only seen him act among his closest confidantes. He did not let go of Elizabeth, and asked her opinion often.
Elizabeth felt like she might fly away with such silent, steady affection shown to her.
The Darcys had a few citrus trees, they grew fuchsia and other exotic plants not many in England had seen. They had five floors, the third and fourth of which were bedchambers, and when the guest bedrooms were glanced at in passing, Darcy pulled Elizabeth to the side and whispered in her ear, "I would like to show you the mistress's bedchamber, if you are willing."
Elizabeth felt she could not deny him anything tonight.
"I would be most happy to oblige," she whispered back, closer to his ear, and Darcy's eyes darkened before he cleared his throat.
"Do you think your aunt would be willing to chaperone us?"
Georgiana had spoken to her brother about showing Elizabeth, but not all guests, her future bedchambers, and so she courageously invited Mrs. Annesley, Jane, Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Bennet to the library on the third floor and started talking about a bust that was said to have been gifted to some king or another a few centuries prior.
"I will warn you," Darcy said. "Your future bedchambers in the townhouse are— ugly."
Elizabeth was amazed that he had used that word. "I am sure it is not so—"
It was so ugly, in fact, that Elizabeth paused.
"It has— potential."
Darcy walked into the room, ahead of the ladies, turned around, and let out a laugh. "I dare you to find something tolerable in this room."
Elizabeth, always up for a challenge, observed the wallpaper that was simultaneously as bold as she imagined a brothel's walls to be and as imaginative as a rock. Greyish, dark purple met silver and gold, the bed was breaking, and the carpet was wholly disagreeable with the rest of it.
"The curtains," she begun, walking closer. "They are… beige."
Darcy laughed, and aunt Eleanor smiled. Even to her, this was a curious style with very little inviting in it.
"Elizabeth, I am not marrying you for your propriety."
Elizabeth let out a laugh so delighted that Darcy looked as if the sun rose with his beloved.
"You mean to tell me to be honest," she said.
"Please."
"If I could change just one thing in this room… I would change everything. I agree with you. It is ugly."
Darcy grinned, stepping closer to her to kiss her temple, and quickly walked away to not do more in front of her aunt.
"Would you be willing to write down some of your preferences and instructions for Georgiana or me, tonight? We could order the items and instruct the workers tomorrow, and that way your room will be ready once we are married."
Elizabeth swallowed down her comments on the cost of it and her uncertainties about her own preferences before saying, "I would be delighted."
As they were walking back downstairs, aunt Eleanor asked, "If you do not mind my asking, Mr. Darcy, what caused that room to be so… disagreeable?"
"My mother, at the end of her sickness, did not behave quite as herself and would not allow us to spend time in her room, sitting by her side. It made her feel like she was dying. But she always welcomed design changes, so we changed her room endlessly until it looked like… as it does now."
"Did you glue the wallpaper?" Elizabeth asked.
"In all likelihood, yes," he replied. "It did not matter at the time what we were doing. We wanted to spend time with her. After her death, we all had so many sad memories of that room that none of us had the heart to change it, and there was no reason to, until now."
Elizabeth touched his back, gently, the way he often did with her. "Thank you," she whispered, sliding her hand up and down on his back.
Darcy was so distracted by her hand that it took all his strength not to walk into a wall.
: :
Three hours later, after Bingley had joined them for a four-course dinner, after some informal dancing and duet piano-playing between Elizabeth and Georgiana, Elizabeth asked to have an audience with Darcy. Georgiana was on the piano. Elizabeth and Darcy were slightly separate from the rest of them as it was, but there was an archway and a small wall separating the drawing room from the sitting room, and they walked behind it.
"William, I—"
Darcy backed her up against the wall, silently, pressing himself against her as he kissed her. Surprised but not displeased, Elizabeth sunk against him, wrapping her arm around his back. He was imposing, and solid, and she relished his warmth against hers.
"You don't know—" Darcy whispered.
"William, we should not— this is not why I asked you here."
He pulled back but not away, blinking at her, with wild hair and pink lips. Elizabeth held the lapels of his coat and turned them so that the room could still see them, but see Darcy's back and not their faces. Darcy took a shaky breath.
"I am sorry for— for what just happened. I am better than this."
"You need not apologise."
For both of their sake, she did not dare say that she enjoyed his eagerness, and instead of dreading their wedding night, she had grown to anticipate it.
"I actually wanted to apologise to you."
"To me? What on Earth for?"
"When you spent time in Hertfordshire, those first few months leading up to that night in Netherfield, it all felt like a game to me. I made light of your foul mood and I made light of our differences in station, so much so that the consequences of compromising you had never crossed my mind."
"I do not understand."
"By compromising you and accepting your offer, I ruined your possibility of a future with a woman your equal, who would walk into this townhouse and find it all ordinary and wear exquisite dresses and behave in a manner more suitable to your station."
"Elizabeth," he replied, voice full of pain. "You are my equal. I do not want a woman who is so used to this way of life that there is no joy left in the small things. I do not want a wife who feels entitled to — but not grateful for — her lot in life. I want you."
"William," she said. He covered both her her palms with his.
"Elizabeth, I love it when you are in awe of my house. It reminds me to appreciate it more often. I love it when you poke fun at me and my station, it reminds me that the life that we think we should lead is a ridiculous way to live. You are free to change, as we all do, but please do not change on my account because I want you exactly as you are."
Elizabeth, amazed by his earnestness, kissed his knuckles and dipped her hand into her pocket.
"I made you this," she said, feeling bashful, knowing it would not hold up to scrutiny. "It is a cravat. Linen. It is not— that is, I am not a very skilled embroiderer but I put our initials and a few flowers on it. I hope you—"
Darcy kissed her in full view of everyone, and although it lasted only a few seconds, Mr. Bennet cleared his throat. Georgiana leaned her head to see behind the archway and smiled, but she continued to play.
"My apologies, Mr. Bennet," Darcy said as they walked back to the drawing room. "My future wife made me a most precious gift and there are only so many ways to express the depth of one's feelings."
Elizabeth felt the warmth of his words, and slid her hand to hold his as they sat. He squeezed it and did not let go for the rest of the evening.
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A/N: Your comments are the loveliest! They always make my day. Thank you.