Top Girls!

Chapter 13

"Isn't thirteen an unlucky number?" Mari asked, breaking the fourth wall as she noted the new chapter number.

"The author may not care," Gendo noted dryly.

"Also, stop breaking the fourth wall," Rei deadpanned.

"If you're HERE, then who's the Stig?" Mari blinked.

"The Stig bits were filmed seperately," Rei paused, "Not that I am confirming or denying if I am the Stig."

"Let's carry on the story, please," Gendo ordered.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Ritsuko and Maya switched from train to ferry, then reached the last leg, a tourist gondola that went up the side of the mountain. They panted as they both collapsed into a seat, having had to jog a bit to reach the transport.

"Are you all right?" Maya asked.

Ritsuko wheezed, "I'm gonna die..."

"Here, water," Maya passed her a bottle.

"I hate running," Ritsuko drank, then grumbled as they slowly headed up the mountain to their final destination.

"Do you think we beat Misato and the Stig?" Maya wondered.

"The producers turned off the GPS tracking," Ritsuko noted as she waved the device. "Bastards." she added.

Back in Tokyo 3 Gendo sneezed.

"Someone's talking about you!" Mari noted.

"If that were true I'd be always sneezing," Gendo noted.

"Ah. Point.." Mari noted.

Back in the gondola...

"So we'll only find out once we reach the Shrine for Safe Driving," Maya sighed, "on the top of this mountain."

"Exactly," Ritsuko sighed.

"We may have to run again, once we get up there," Maya noted tentatively, looking at the recovering Ritsuko worriedly.

"Then Stig can win," Ritsuko said flatly. "Or Misato, assuming she makes it..."

"Senpai, if NERV gets attacked and you need to run away...," Maya suggested.

"Then I'll stay behind and buy you time to escape," Ritsuko said dryly.

(When this played in front of the studio audience, more than one woman sighed "Ritsuko is SO COOL." Ritsuko herself just ignored it.)

Ritsuko continued, "So this gondola stops near the shrine. We just have to follow the path?"

"Correct. At this point, nothing can go wrong," Maya said cheerfully.

"Don't SAY that," Ritsuko winced.

Both waited for something bad to happen... but thankfully nothing happened.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

They had made it through Tokyo-2 much faster than any of them had expected.

"That was... weird," Shinji noted. He looked at Satsuki, "Do you think they asked the MAGI computers to make the lights all green, or something?"

"Considering Maya and Ritsuko basically RUN the MAGI, it'd be more likely they'd make the lights all red," Satsuki pointed out.

"Huh, point," Shinji conceded.

The Stig was actually drumming her fingers with impatience of the steering wheel. They were on a vehicle ferry over to the island where the shrine was, and were officially behind Maya and Ritsuko, based on the GPS reading before it was turned off.

"We can make up ground," Shinji reassured the Stig, "we can drive up the mountain faster than a gondola car."

The Stig just LOOKED at him blankly.

Satsuki made a face. "I'm sure you'll break every vehicular law once we hit the mountain," she sighed quietly.

Stig gave her a 'thumbs up' in reply.

Shinji winced. He quickly added, "PLEASE remember you have two very squishy humans in this car and drive safely..."

The Stig looked like they were pouting, but nodded.

The car ferry came up to the island, and crew scurried about readying for them to depart. They docked, the ramp went down and cars slowly went over the ramp onto the roads. The Stig nearly shook with impatience as the cars in front of them went.

With a squeal of tires Stig nearly launched them down the ferry ramp and onto the nearby road. They raced up the road like a devil were right after them, going a bit faster than what was safe on the road. And probably faster than legal...

"Aaaah!" both Shinji and Satsuki yelped.

"Thank goodness for seatbelts," Satsuki cried as they drifted through a sharp turn.

"I hope we live getting up the mountain," Shinji muttered.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Boss you have the worst luck ever," Kaede noted as the idled off shore as the Coast Guard attended the situation.

"Oooh, yeah," Misato agreed glumly.

They had run into a BODY, of all things. Probably floated up from the submerged ruins around Japan. And they couldn't just sail on, they had to call the Coasties and wait until they arrived to collect the body.

It had cost them HOURS.

"How badly screwed are we?" Misato asked as they started up the engine.

Kaede waved the GPS tracker, "They just shut this down. It means the other teams are near the finish line, if not there."

"So we're fucked," Misato sighed.

"You can't say that on TV!" the camera guy noted.

"They'll edit it, and this, out later," Misato shrugged.

Kaede ignored that as she asked, "Should we just call it quits then?"

Misato let the wind caress her face as she thought a minute. "No, let's wait until we get a official call," she decided. "Let's see how near we can get."

"Fair enough," Kaede admitted.

"I'll spring for a nice dinner, depending on where we end up," Misato added.

Kaede laughed, "Just not a noodle stand."

"I only did that once," Misato pouted.

They heard a ringing noise and Kaede raised her eyebrow. "Your phone, boss," she said.

"Aw shit," Misato sighed, figuring it was bad news. "Yes?" she answered it.

Gendo said, "The race has been decided. Stop and come home the winner is..."

The phone cut off.

"WHAT," Misato yelped.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The Stig was laser focused on the drive, cutting corners and hovering just on the speed limit.

"There's the sign!" Shinji pointed.

They hurtled past it, the Stig only slamming on the breaks as they skidded into the parking area. They stopped, Then the Stig popped the doors.

"Guess we go to the shrine," Satsuki said as they hopped out.

"Up that path!" Shinji pointed as they ran up the walk way. They hurried along, rounded a corner and...

"Hi guys!" Maya Ibuki waved.

"Fuck," Satsuki blurted.

"Language," Ritsuko chided tiredly.

Shinji puffed out a sigh. "Well, congradulations," he noted. He \added, "You realize you just ruined Top Gear?"

"Huh?" Maya and Ritsuko blinked.

"Two women on a train just beat a car..," Shinji explained.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Back at the studio the three hosts waved. "Yes, we've ruined Top Gear. Sorry," Maya bowed.

"Very sorry," Ritsuko added.

"At least you guys finished," Misato noted.

"You do have the best excuse ever... you ran down a body," Maya added.

"We would also like to thank everyone who assisted the cross country run," Ritsuko added.

"Thank you," Misato and Maya echoed.

To be continued...

Notes: I thought about having the car win, but...