Hello everyone! This new chapter came way sooner that I through, it basically wrote itself. So here it is. I hope you will like it. Don't hesitate to left a review, I'm always happy to know what people think of it!
Big thanks to my beta PenandPaper.
Chapter 32
Rose reappeared in the TARDIS in a ball of light, her body slamming violently against the grating as she had come in too fast for her to prepare herself. After a few seconds of her vision swimming, she tried to retrieve her bearings and took a deep breath, making her groan in pain. Her ribs and back felt like she had taken a baseball bat full force, and it took her a few seconds to regain her breath, her vision still unfocused as everything was a bit too bright and wobbly around her. Teleportation while knowing in advance was already hard enough on her body, but a forced one like that was absolutely hell. She could at least feel relieved she was not puking her guts out at the moment. Her very first trip had not not been that lucky to Mickey's dismay. When she was finally able to stand up without quivering after sitting down, she began to feel the rage build up inside her at what the Doctor had done.
"Next time I see him I'll slap him so hard, his next regeneration will feel it!" she screamed at the empty space, her fingers going white as she clamped on the console, trying her best to not let her fury overcome her completely. She looked briefly at her teleport, but she knew it was worthless at the moment. Without his exact coordinates, it would take an eternity to find his position, if she didn't teleport herself into a wall or the void of the universe before that. But she was vaguely tempted to try anyway, maybe she would have teleported directly onto his head. The prick.
"Damnit!" she growled, more to herself than anything else. She had trusted the Doctor, so sure he was finally able to see her eye to eye with her. She had believed him when he had sworn they were a team and would make decisions together. She had been naive enough to think he was finally treating her like the competent woman she was, completely overlooking the multiple red flags he had thrown all over the place, and now she was paying the price. But once again he had overridden what she wanted, and took the decision out of her hands. And now she had been relegated to the TARDIS, while that insane idiot was actively trying to get himself killed somewhere on the planet.
She swore under breath as she started to pace around the TARDIS, who was curiously silent, because she knew if she didn't find a solution rapidly, she would never have the occasion again. Because there was no way he would be able to regenerate from that, not even if he took all the precautions possible. And knowing him, the possibility was laughable.
Right now his plan was counting on her staying in the TARDIS and him hoping for the best, and that would not do. Not without a fight. She would not stay in the TARDIS, and cross her fingers. That was not who she was. Not today, not ever.
She looked once again at her teleport, and as she pushed a few buttons she realized that what she needed was to access one of the Nodes to track his position. That's what he had tried to do when they first came in, so why not do it again? She smiled again, happy to have found a plan that was still giving her a fighting chance against time. She walked to the doors with a firm step, her mind already in the action. But as she pulled, the doors stubbornly stayed shut. She frowned, trying once again with a bit more force, even pushing just to be sure, but they didn't budge. The TARDIS was determined for her to stay inside, following loyally the whim of her captain. As she felt the panic starting to build, the Wolf stretched deep inside her, calming and grounding her, reminding her she had won before and she would win again. Right now was not the time to panic, but to take action. She knew what the TARDIS was doing. She had done it a long time ago, forcing her to take drastic action but she was more rational this time around.
She took a deep breath and turned to the time rotor, a determined look on her face. "I know you think you're doing what he wants but if you don't let me out, he will die. And it's going to be permanent. No regeneration. No second chance." She felt the air in the TARDIS shift and she smirked internally. She was getting through finally with that warning. "Do you remember that day? We looked into each other's hearts, and we saw how much we loved that impossibly insane Time Lord. Enough to defy time itself and we became one. His life is not supposed to end today. Don't let him be foolish, not when we can stop him. You, me and the Wolf." The following silence was almost overwhelming for Rose, enough to think she failed, but as her heart was tanking, she heard the door open with a click behind her. She felt she was missing something, but she had no time to dwell on it.
"Thank you," she whispered emotionally before vowing, "I will not come back without him, I swear." She would get him back to the TARDIS, whatever the cost may be.
As she ran to the Node they found when they landed, her mind only focused on one thing before realizing he was only displaying the warning message of auto destruction. She tried to tap on it multiple times, even hitting him with her fist and feet but it stayed stubbornly silent. When she asked him to display a map the only response she got was the auto destruction message in bold letters. Again and again.
"What now?" She thought as she sat down on the floor. She only had a few minutes left and a whole world to explore. How could she find him in time? How could she save him? She felt helpless as she looked at the ceiling. She had waited dozens of years. And to lose him like this, it was not fair...Especially when she knew what she had to do. She only needed one tiny bit of information and it was just out of her grasp. She let her head drop on the cold marble of the Node, who was still repeating the warning message in a loop, making her hate a bit more every time.
But, as despair started to creep up in her heart, to the point that she was considering reaching out to the Wolf and letting it loose as a last resort, she felt a slight tug in her body. She waited a few seconds, thinking that maybe she had finally lost her mind, but felt it once again. Curiously she turned her head slowly, trying to pinpoint the origin and felt the urge grow stronger as she looked at the TARDIS. She almost slapped herself at the realisation. Of course! How could she forget the best machine of them all? If one thing in the universe could help her find the Doctor, it was her. How could she have missed it? They already did it once like she had said earlier, why not try again? She scrambled to her feet and ran, almost crashing inside as she opened the door with haste.
"I need your help!" she shouted to the column, who suddenly became brighter at her words, like she had been waiting for those words. Before she could even ask, a part of the console flashed, indicating to Rose where to start. This made Rose smile brilliantly. Even after years of separation, they were still a team, united with the same goal. Without another second wasted, she tapped on one of the terminals, while simultaneously pushing a few buttons. She still has a few memories of the time the Doctor had tried to teach her how to fly the TARDIS. As a result, a few of the screens turned on, flashing gallifreyan symbols she could not decipher.
She frowned, she didn't have time to search for a translation. "Give me the map of the planet with all the humanoids on it please," she asked politely. Only a second later, the map of the whole planet appeared, multiple red points moving around. She felt herself perk up, that narrowed it down. Unfortunately, a few of them were pretty scattered, and she had no idea if it was the Doctor or the rest of the crew trying to run from him. But they were going somewhere. "Ok, focus on the one with two hearts please." All the blinking disappeared except one, indicating that the Doctor was right there for her to find. She could save him, she still had time, he was still alive. She took notes of the coordinate that was written near the edge of the screen and put them in her teleport. "Wish me luck," she said to the TARDIS, who hummed louder in return, showing her faith in her. So with one last smile, she punched the button with force. A flash engulfed her once again, and she was gone.
She reappeared more graciously this time, not crashing anywhere and on her own two feet. That's what happens when you've prepared beforehand. But to her great surprise, where she had expected to see the Doctor actively trying to kill himself with his scheme, and her more than ready to scream bloody murder to him. He was visibly unconscious, slumped on the side of a machine and handcuffed to one of the railings.
"I told him you wouldn't go without a fight," River's voice suddenly rang out, making her jump in surprise.
When she turned around, the woman was busy tapping on the computer, her head not even looking up from what she was doing.
"What did you do to him?" She asked, a bit impressed by the result.
"He refused to listen, and I knew if I didn't do anything, he would have fried himself beyond recognition. So I knocked him out." River's voice was even, not even a trace of emotion in it. She was too focused on her task.
That woman was clearly something else. "You knocked him out. Why?"
River finally looked up, sadness written all over her face. "Because it's not his time to die. Not today."
"It's not yours either!" Rose shot back instantly. "No one has to die today."
The sadness on River's face intensified as she automatically presumed what Rose was about to say. "If you try, even with your... capacities, you will die. It's too powerful! No one is strong enough to power it without dying."
"Just let me do it!" Rose insisted, because if River was his future, she would not let the woman die pointlessly. She had visibly known her in the future, but time could be rewritten and she would do it. For him.
River looked startled at the idea, even completely astonished by her words. "Why would you do that?" she finally asked after a few moments of silence. "I'm sorry Rose, but that makes no sense at all."
Rose walked a few feet and crossed her arms, she was dead serious. "Yes, you know me from the future, I understand as much but…" She wavered at the thought, but she had to be strong. "Time is not fixed, you can still live. If not for you, do it for the Doctor."
River was looking at her like she had spouted two heads. "What do you think I'm trying to do? I'm trying to save both your lives! Why would you want to die when it's clearly not your time? You have no idea how much insanity you would unleash if you died today!"
"Because he loves you!" Rose almost shouted. As River almost fell over in surprise, she corrected herself. "Not him but future him. He loves you, and you cannot leave him like this. That's not fair, not to you and not to him. Let me at least do that. Please." She knew that she was sounding desperate with her pleading, but she had to try to save her. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if River died because she refused to take a stand, it would eat her alive.
But River was visibly more dumbfounded than relieved at her words. "Wait… Are you trying to sacrifice yourself because...You think that the Doctor and I are together?" she was saying it as if it were the most ludicrous idea she had ever heard.
Rose frowned. "Yes. He told me that you knew his name, and how someone would be able to learn his name. It's not rocket science to take two and two equal to four, River. I mean it's clearly in the future if you never saw this face before. And you seemed to know Donna, but not that well so…" She paused before continuing," don't worry though. I...I understand." A lot of things could happen with regeneration. Maybe the next Doctor didn't love her afterward, or maybe they decided they were better friends now with River in their lives...She could not really judge, but if the Doctor loved River enough to marry her, she would respect his choice and do everything in her power to send her back to him. She loved him enough for that.
"Oh my god! No!" River seemed completely horrified at the idea. "He is my godfather!" She paled as soon as she pronounced those words, realizing she said something she shouldn't. "Oh mom is going to kill me if I make it back alive," she muttered, almost facepalming herself.
Rose felt the sudden urge to sit down. Like the axe of the planet had suddenly shifted on themselves. "Your godfather? But you said his name! His true name!" She was almost shouting she knew that, but nothing was making sense now. How could she know his name in that case?
"I only know the beginning of it, and it's because you made me learn it when I started university!" River shot back, still in shock herself. "You two watched me grow up. I literally took my first steps in the TARDIS! That would be horrifically wrong to see him like that!" Then she realised she already said too much so why not continue.
"Oh…" Was the only response Rose could muster. She was the one to teach her his name, that would mean she would be the one to marry him. She suddenly felt like she had been hit with a lorry.
"Now you understand why I'm the one that should die?" continued River, taking out her sonic to fiddle with some wire near the platform.
"No. If what you said is true, I will not let you die for him. He will not accept that. And neither will I." How can she let his goddaughter die? Apparently someone they saw grow up, enough to be considered family. That would be wrong on so many levels.
River had a humourless laugh, full of mixed joy and sadness. "You know what is funny, Rose? All my life people tried to limit me. Saying I shouldn't do that, shouldn't go there… My parents and the Doctor always had something to say. I think because they always knew the end. But you, you were the only one who let me be." She smiled gratefully at Rose. "Whatever the choice I wanted to make, you were always beside me. And when someone commented on it, you always replied that it was important to learn to make a choice and stick to it. You treated me like someone that mattered, when everyone tried to shelter me. Yeah the Doctor was the fun uncle I would see everytime I wanted to have an adventure that would finish by us running for our lives. But you, you were the one I looked up to. The role model I aspired to be because I was always taken seriously. So please Rose, let me make my choice."
Rose felt her throat close up at River words. She could totally understand what she was going through and what she was trying to say. She herself had been fighting since she was 19 to have that freedom of choice. To be listened to. But, that would mean watching this absolutely brilliant woman die in front of her. And it was too much. "I don't want you to die. Can we find another way?"
River knew what the other woman would say, even before her smile took a pained turn. "You know perfectly well that we have no other choice." She fell silent for a few seconds before smiling happily again. "You know when you told me I needed to learn that part of his name, I really thought you had finally lost it. I mean that long with him how could you not? But you said it would be important one day. So I did. How could I not? You were always here for me, never judging, always ready to lend me a shoulder to cry on or even break me out of jail." When Rose looked at her with surprise, she smirked. "Oh... Spoiler on that one. I don't even think my parents or the Doctor know about it. I love them very much, but I don't think they would have let me live it down if that was the case. Even with how much mom tries to make me believe she's been a rebel in her youth." She chuckled again before a sob raised in her voice.
Rose's heart broke for her, as well as a family she could not say goodbye to. Even if they had known and tried to, it would never be the same. "One day I will tell them. I will say goodbye for you."
River head snapped up in surprise and a tiny bit of hope. "Does this mean that you'll let me do this?"
"Who am I to force you? Overriding you when I'm blaming the Doctor for the same thing, which would be very hypocritical of me." Even if she knew she was just accepting the other woman's choice, she could not help but feel the tears in her eyes at the mess of a life lost too soon. "It's just...I would have wanted to have more time to get to know you."
"But you will," River was quick to offer assurance, her eyes also suspiciously wet. "It's just the beginning for you."
The moment was cut short by the robotic voice coming from the computer. "Autodestruction in two minutes."
The Doctor suddenly came to at that moment, jerking up at the sound. When he turned his head and caught sight of River ready to splint the two principal wires together, he started to panic. "Oh, no, no, no, no!" he screamed, making the two women turn in his direction, making him realize that Rose was back. "Rose! What are you doing here?" Surprise and fear written all over him. "Get back! It's not safe! Both of you!"
"Nice to see over protectiveness is not a trait shared only by your other regeneration," River quipped. "Apparently it's built up from the beginning."
"You should have seen the one before him," Rose snickered. "Over protectiveness and possessiveness rolled up into one."
"This isn't really the moment to joke!" He tried to stand up but was stopped by the handcuffs. "Wait, why am I handcuffed? Why do you even have handcuffs?" he asked, visibly baffled by the possibility of someone running around with that kind of thing.
To Rose's amusement, River blushed. "Eh, you don't want to know."
"This is not a joke. Stop this now. This is going to kill you! I'd have a chance, you don't have any." He turned to Rose. "Stop her!"
But a death stare was his only response as she crossed her arms. "So now that I am useful to you, you want me in the action? Right?"
"You wouldn't have a chance, and neither does Rose or me," River continued. "I'm timing it for the end of the countdown. There'll be a blip in the command flow. That way it should improve our chances of a clean download. That's our only chance. And by doing that, you know what that means."
"River, please. No," he pleaded, emotions pouring from those few words. Of course he knew what that would mean but out of the three of them, he was the only one with a slight chance to get out of it alive. River would completely fry until nothing would remain, and he could not stand it, not when he could save her life.
"It's funny how everything makes sense now. This means you've always known how I was going to die. Both of you. All this time, while you had me gallivanting all around time, you knew I was coming here. Funny thing is, last time I came to visit and told you where I was going, my m...Well you and someone else tried to stop me." She turned to Rose, who was trying her best to keep her distance to not interfere with her, and smiled. "You and...well someone else were the ones to stop them overreacting and let me live my life. Your words not mine. But when it was time to say goodbye, you cried. The others always cried when I left. But you and the Doctor, you never cried, it should have been a sign."
" Autodestruct in one minute," said the computer, completely unperturbed by all the emotions flying around.
"You wouldn't tell me why," continued River, her smile wobbling with the magnitude of her feelings. "But you all knew it was time. My time. Time to come to the library. That's why you and the Doctor fought so hard that day. You even fought with…well that doesn't matter who but you refused to tell me why. I was in a hurry to go, so I promised to myself that I was going to ask you next time I'll see you. I suppose it's no bother now." She shrugged in a false sense of bravado, but Rose could see through it. Poor woman was terrified to die, but she was willing to because it was the right thing to do. The goddaughter of the Doctor of course. Rose felt a surge of proudness like never before. She could not wait to meet that extraordinary woman in another time and another place.
The Doctor looked crushed in his corner, looking longingly at the two sonic screwdrivers who were just a bit out of reach. River followed his gaze and sighed. "There's nothing you can do, Doctor. I'm sorry. And you know it was a birthday present, my last from you so that would be very rude of yourself to steal it back from me," she finished in a very cheerful voice, trying her best to alleviate the mood but without success.
But the Doctor was not deterred and turned to Rose. "How can you let you do this?" he asked in a tone that was harsh and desperate. "How can you let her die when there are other ways? We are supposed to save people, not let them die!" But Rose's face only became more somber, her whole body rigid and stiff.
"Because it's her choice, Doctor. She chose to do this. Who am I to decide who lives and who dies? Are we God now?" He flinched at her words, but she was still not finished. "I will not take away her autonomy, she is a grown woman. And she is doing it because she knows she has to do it." She turned to River. "Am I right? Is it a closed time loop?" River only nodded, not able to do much more. Rose always was her champion and even now, when she didn't know her at all, she was still her protector. She just regretted not having more time with her, she still had so much to learn from her.
"Do you remember my dad, Doctor? Because I remember like it was yesterday," Rose suddenly asked, and he turned his face, shame written all over his face. "Even if you or I take her place, we are only going to unleash the reapers on the world and lose everything either way." She walked to River, who was ready to join the two power cables together and hugged her. Without any warning she felt the Wolf engulf her, taking over her head. She knew that her eyes were glowing as River gasped when she looked at her.
"You are brave and strong," she whispered, her voice taking that strange double tone that was prevalent when the Wolf was in charge "People will remember you for years to come. You will not die in vain, Melody River Williams-Pond." River was visibly on the verge of bursting into tears as she released her, the autodestruct starting his countdown in the background. When she took a step back, she felt the Wolf leaving her once again, putting her back in full control of herself. The lack of fear or complete surprise on River's face about the Wolf was the most surprising for Rose, but she didn't have enough time to dwell on it. Not with only ten seconds to spare. "I am so so proud of you, River." She finished, knowing she could not say much more. But it was enough for River who knew it had come from a special place.
The Doctor smiled sadly in the background, completely oblivious of what happened in the last few seconds. "I am so sorry, River. If I could have done things differently I would have."
But River was nothing but determined. She turned to the Doctor, and with one last smirk warned, "Don't you dare."
As the Computer reached one, she joined the two cables together, making a blinding light which pushed Rose into the Doctor under the force of the flare up. It took them half a minute to bear their sense again, and when they looked up, the place where River was now empty.
"I'm sorry, Doctor, but we had no other choice," Rose lamented as she took one of the sonics to release him. "When it became clear it was a closed time loop, I realized it was the only way and River knew it too. Way before us."
The Doctor stood up, massaging his wrist, his face sad and somber. "It's just...She knew my name…And I never had time to ask how it happened."
"She would have never told you. She seemed pretty big on not spilling secrets to you and…" She was interrupted by Lux who ran into the room visibly overjoyed. "Look at that. Oh, look at that. You did it. Four thousand and twenty two people, saved!"
"We'll talk about this later," she said to the Doctor before turning again to Lux while the Doctor pocketed both sonic and River diary. "What do you mean?"
Lux's smile was borderline manic. "They're all here! All of them!"
Rose and the Doctor exchanged a look. "All of them?" the Doctor asked tentatively, not trying to push his hope up.
Lux smiled happily, knowing exactly what the Doctor was asking. "Donna appeared in the grand hall. She is actually screaming to poor Dave about seeing a manifest of the people who had appeared with her."
Without another thought, the Doctor and Rose sprinted out of the room, not even bothering with the slow gravity platform, and ran to the stairs. Taking three by three, they bursted into the room with great fracas, making everyone turn around. The Doctor was the first to spot Donna, who was literally pushing people out of her way to get to them.
"Donna!" he screamed, running to her with a wide smile. He lifted her and spun her around in his joy of seeing her alive, making her scream with fright. She was happy to see him, especially after the nightmare of the fake world, but she had forgotten how much he could be sometimes.
"Oh my god Doctor, put me down! Rose, do something!" Donna yelled, but as soon as the Doctor did let go of her, Rose launched herself at the redhead, hugging her with all she had.
"Group hug!" the Doctor shouted, using his long arms to take the two women in his embrace, making them both yell as he almost crushed them in his haste to show his happiness. At least something good had come out of this, he thought. That's all that mattered right now.
One day he will lose everything but not right now. Right now was good.