…oooOOO-DASH-OOOooo…
Dash considered himself a fairly patient person, but the painting of a hairless cat riding a turtle in the Fenton's entryway was really pushing his boundaries.
"Why?" He asked, unable to fully articulate the absolute confoundment he was currently feeling. "Where?"
Danny, who'd just shucked off his shoes, not seeming to care when they bounced off the wall and landed in a dirty heap, glanced up at him. "Oh, that? My dad found it at a garage sale. Said it would be our new family heirloom."
"It's hideous," Kwan said admiringly. "Absolutely vile."
"That's my inheritance you're slandering." Danny poked him in the side. "So watch your mouth."
"No, he's got a point." Paulina removed her extremely expensive looking sandals before delicately placing them on the Fenton's crooked shoe rack. "That's a whole nightmare right there. Why haven't you made it disappear by now?"
The boy flushed, his hand rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck. "Sam loves it. She says it relates to the fragile absurdity of human projection onto our animal counterparts. That, and she thinks naked cats look funny."
Paulina's mouth twisted into a sly smirk. "And you'd do anything for Sam. Isn't that right, Danny?"
Danny muttered something incomprehensible under his breath before shuffling away, leading them further into the house.
Dash wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but, aside from the bizarre entrance painting, the Fenton's house was surprisingly tame looking.
The décor was simple, a few family photographs littering the walls. The air was infused with something distinctly lemony, almost sharp at the back of his throat.
Aside from the occasional scorch mark on the wallpaper, it was almost painfully average.
If Paulina had been expecting anything different, she didn't let it show on her face. Instead, she powered after Danny into the kitchen, immediately opening and closing drawers as she nosed around.
"Got any snacks? The ride over made me hungry."
Danny, who had been fidgeting off to the side, looked relieved to have something to do. Absently, Dash wondered if Paulina had done that purpose.
Then he spotted her satisfied smile and knew that she had.
"There should be something in the cupboard to your left. Just don't open the fridge."
"Why not?" Kwan asked, fingers immediately twitching towards the fridge's handle. Telling him not to do something was a sure-fire way to make him want to do it.
Danny, who had his back to them as he pulled a plate out for Paulina, said, "Sam's veggie-hotdogs got a hold of my mom's reanimator and developed a culture. I think they elected a new president last week."
…so perhaps the house wasn't quite as normal as it looked.
Dash grabbed Kwan's arm and hauled him away from the fridge. He was not about to let his best friend get attacked by a society of ghost veggie-hotdogs, no matter how developed their culture was.
Once Paulina's appetite had been satisfied, they followed Danny down an ominous set of stairs into what he called 'the lab'.
Again, Dash wasn't sure what he'd been expecting.
A cave, ghost entrails hanging from the ceiling. Maybe a bunch of dangerous, bloodsucking bats. Blood and ectoplasm splattering the walls.
The Fenton's lab was none of that.
As soon as Danny slapped his palm against the security display, where it quickly scanned it, a wide metal door slid open to reveal—
Clean stainless-steel counters, white floors and walls. Everything seemed spotless, if not a little disorderly.
It would've looked like any old lab you'd see on TV if not for the various glowing green vials or flickering faces on monitors. A massive section of the left wall had been hollowed out to contain a buzzing portal, the air around it reeking of ozone and ashes.
It was then that Dash noticed they had an audience.
A hulking mountain of a man was watching them from afar, his giant frame stuffed into a small swivel work chair. With the bulging refracted goggles and neon orange jumpsuit, there was only one person it could be.
"Dad?" Danny gasped out, unwittingly confirming Dash's theory. "I thought you were—that is, why are you—"
"Dann-O!" The man rose, his tall form seemingly without end. "You're home!"
Absently, Dash wondered if the man had played football in high school; he would've made a fantastic backliner.
He took an involuntary step back as the giant figure approached, picking his son off the ground like the boy weighed nothing.
Danny gasped as he was squeezed, his hands fumbling for purchase against Jack's rubbery jumpsuit. But he didn't look relieved. No, his eyes were screwed up as if in pain, his face paling into a deathly shade of white.
Then Dash remembered that Danny was still injured, that he'd almost broken his ribs only a few nights ago. That there was a large section of burned skin hiding beneath his iconic t-shirt.
And Jack Fenton had no idea.
Darting forward, Dash stuck his hand out, leaving Jack with no choice but to drop his son in order to shake it.
Which the man did, dropping Danny to the floor like a sack of potatoes. He no doubt would've crumpled right then and there if not for Paulina's interference.
She hurried to Danny's side and helped pull him up, managing to make the gesture look like a simple arm around the shoulders. She murmured something that had Danny grimacing, his face still concerningly pale.
"I recognize you," Jack boomed, the force of his handshake squeezing the very blood from Dash's veins. "You're the quarterback! Go Ravens!"
Did this man ever speak at a normal volume? "That's me," Dash said, trying not to wince as he felt the bones in his hand creak. "We weren't expecting you to be here, Mr. Fenton."
"Ah." Jack was still shaking his hand. Why was Jack still shaking his hand? "I was just recalibrating the Fenton Cycle! Should be up and running in no time."
Dash glanced at what appeared to be a heap of scrap with no obvious shape or function. "It's, uh, really coming along."
"Isn't it?" Jack laughed, the sound rattling Dash's eardrums. "That pesky Phantom won't know what hit him!"
In his peripheral vision, Dash caught the tail end of the way each word caused Danny to wince.
Right. Dash had almost forgotten that the two Fenton parents weren't exactly Phantom's number one fan.
The very same Phantom who lived under their roof and sat at their table. That Phantom.
"I'm sure it'll take him by surprise," Dash murmured, watching the way Danny seemed to be curling in on himself.
Time to go.
"This is Kwan, he's on the football team with me. And that's Paulina, she's in charge of the play the school's putting on."
The oldest Fenton's lip curled at the mention of the play. "You're the girl who decided to make it about Phantom?"
Paulina, who still had her arm wrapped around Danny's shoulders, glared up at the man. "Yeah. What's it to you?"
The man's expression narrowed at her for a moment, then Jack laughed. "Nothing, nothing. I'm glad you were kind enough to cast my son. You guys must be close?"
Dash felt his jaw drop, but fortunately Jack wasn't looking at him. Close? Jack thought they'd been close?
Was he really so out of touch with his son that he hadn't known Danny was getting bullied?
Kwan's expression was equally confused, his forehead dimpling as he stared at the expanse of Jack's ginormous back. He caught Dash's eye, mouthing a quick What the hell? at him.
Dash, however, had no answer.
He supposed the Fenton parents had to be some level of oblivious, considering they'd been hunting their own son's alter ego for months now, but this was another thing entirely.
Paulina, Dash, and Kwan had been horrible towards Danny. Dash himself had left marks on the boy's skin before, bruises and jagged scratches where locker doors had broken skin.
For the Fenton parents not to know about that seemed…impossible.
Hadn't the teachers ever called home? Had no one really said anything to the Fenton parents, or were they just that oblivious?
Danny stepped forward, clearly intent on fixing the absolute train wreck of a conversation taking place. "They're my friends, like Sam and Tuck. We're gonna head upstairs now, 'kay?"
Jack just nodded, making a shooing gesture with his giant hands. "You guys get out of here. Don't let a geezer like me ruin your good times!" His boisterous grin softened into a fond smile. "It's good to have you back, Dann-O. The house was too quiet with both you and Jazz gone."
Danny's own expression softened, "I was gone for three days, dad. I'm sure you managed just fine."
The man swiped at his eyes, like he was about to tear up. "I just," he blew his nose on a suspiciously dirty looking rag, "missed you so much."
Danny nodded, almost bemusedly. "Love you too, dad. We're just gonna, uh," He pointed at the door. "Go now."
Jack nodded, blowing his nose again with the power of hurricane-level winds.
They followed Danny as turned and headed to the staircase, keeping it together until the door slid closed behind them. Soon as his father was out of sight, the boy slumped, wrapping an arm around his chest.
"You good, man?" Kwan asked, hands fluttering like butterflies. Like he wasn't sure his touch would be welcome at the moment. "He didn't damage anything again, did he?"
"No." Danny grimaced, "No, I'll be fine. Just wasn't expecting that. My ribs haven't healed all the way yet."
Paulina bent and helped him up, slipping her arm under his shoulder. "Let's get you upstairs, okay? We can take a better look up there, yeah?"
"Yeah."
Dash trailed silently behind the trio as they made their way back to the kitchen—where Paulina stopped to grab some more food—before Danny lead them to his room.
It was on the second floor, which meant Paulina had to help the ghost boy shuffle up another set of stairs. Kwan held Danny's other shoulder, offering silent support as they climbed the staircase.
"I'm fine, guys." Danny's face was perplexed, his mouth curving into a confused half-smile. "Seriously, it's not like he hugged my legs. They're fine."
"Just shut it," Paulina bit out. "I will not have you falling apart when we just put you back together."
"But I'm—"
"Shut it," She said.
Danny shot Dash a pleading look over his shoulder, but the quarterback merely narrowed his eyes.
"Not a chance, Fenton. Let them help you."
The hallway leading to Danny's room was long, the walls lined with more random photos and newspaper articles of the Fenton parent's achievements.
But the ghost boy's actual room was a whole other story.
Glow in the dark stars clung to the ceiling, patterned into what—knowing Fenton—probably resembled real constellations.
The walls, where they weren't covered in an obsessive amount of NASA posters, were painted a soft blue. With a shaggy rug and messy bed (that sported a space-themed comforter, jeez this kid needed a hobby), the bedroom wasn't half-bad.
Still bad, Dash thought as he watched Danny quickly kick some rumpled clothes under his bed, but it could always be worse.
It could be Kwan's room, for instance. Now that was bad.
Paulina crossed the room without preamble and sank onto his bed, heaving a sigh as she smoothed her dainty fingers over an exaggeratedly large Mars.
Dash had always loved her fingers. They were perfect.
Perfect for holding a pen, perfect for wearing rings, perfect for holding Dash's hand while they maybe went on a date or—
"—Dash?" Kwan's voice interrupted his fantasy. Going by his friend's coy smile, Kwan knew exactly what Dash's train of thought had been crashing into.
"Shut up," The blond muttered, sinking into Danny's pathetic desk chair while simultaneously flipping Kwan off. "What're we gonna do about your dad, Fenturd?"
The Fenturd in question sighed, rubbing a hand through his mussed hair. "We'll have to wait till he's gone. The Paranormal Fishing store opens at three, so he should be out of the house around then."
Paulina stared at him. "The Paranormal Fishi—you know what, I don't even want to know."
Danny laughed weakly, one hand mindlessly rubbing at his ribcage. "You really don't."
"What do we do until then?" Kwan asked, turning away from where he'd been studying one of Danny's Shoot for the moon! If you fall, you'll die posters. "Movie?"
They all glanced dubiously at Fenton's ancient looking laptop, its screen cracked in several places.
"Is that thing even legal?" Paulina said. "Like, is it a radiation risk?"
"Honestly?" Danny sat criss-cross on the carpet, flopping his head against his shoulder as he glanced at the fossilized device on his desk. "Wouldn't be surprised. At all."
Dash poked the laptop with his pointer finger, half expecting the thing to explode. "Seriously dude, that's a bomb."
The boy just rolled his eyes. "It works just fine for essays."
"Like you actually have time for essays," Kwan sniped under his breath.
Danny shot him a look. "It's true, but hey."
"What about you, Paulie—Paulina," Dash quickly corrected, gesturing at her device. "Got anything downloaded?"
They settled on reruns of an old Amity sitcom, its laugh track filling the silence and adding a sense of normalcy to the weirdness of the situation.
And it was a weird situation, all four of them sitting on Danny Fenton's bed, pressed up against the wall while watching bad actors perform an even worse comedy routine.
Eventually, they stopped trying to take the show seriously and just started making fun of the bad acting.
"Our play's probably going to go like this," Danny muttered, his head cushioned against Paulina's shoulder. He looked half-asleep. "No offense."
She snorted. "I don't care about the play at a time like this. Your friends were kidnapped. We found out your Danny Phantom. The play can crash and burn."
"Hey now," Kwan protested, cramming three crackers into his mouth at the same time. Disgusting, Dash thought admiringly. "I make a great Plasmius."
"Wait," Paulina turned to Danny. "Does this mean I can ask you for insight on character dynamics, or does it mean we should make the play absolutely ridiculous so no one ever guesses your secret?"
"At this point, I'm pretty sure I could literally turn into Phantom with half the town watching and no one would notice." Danny thought about it for a second. "Make that the whole town, actually."
"I'd take that bet," Kwan said, shaking the boy's hand.
Danny smiled. "I don't have any money."
"Oh. Neither do I."
Downstairs, there was an echoing crash, the sound of footsteps on the stairs, then Danny's door practically flew off its hinges. "DANN-O?"
"Jeez, dad!" Danny covered his chest like he was naked, despite wearing a shirt, a sweater, and having a blanket draped over his shoulders. Also, he didn't have any boobs. "What if I was changing?!"
Jack Fenton's hulking form filled the doorway, blocking out the light from the hall. Dash swallowed, for once glad that the man was a bit of a ditz.
Mr. Fenton would be a formidable villain if he ever went to the dark side.
"But you're not changing," The man remarked, eyeing his son quizzically. If he thought it strange that the four of them were squished together on the bed, he didn't mention it. "I would've knocked if you were."
Danny rolled his eyes. "Right. I forgot we're a family of psychics that all know exactly when each other get naked. Thanks, dad."
Kwan whistled under his breath, "That's a lot of damage."
Jack Fenton, on the other hand, looked intrigued. "Do you think we could be? Psychic, that is?"
His son sighed, the force of it rattling the bed. "At this point, nothing would surprise me anymore."
"That's the spirit, Dann-o! Now I'm off to the Paranormal Fishing store, don't do anything your mother wouldn't let you!"
Danny nodded. "I'll be sure not to make any pagan sacrifices while you're gone."
"Good," Jack grinned, the wattage of it nearly blinding Dash. "NOW I'M OFF! WISH ME LUCK!"
The door slammed behind him, rattling on its hinges, and the sound of stomping feet soon followed.
"Ow," Kwan pressed a hand against his ear. "I think your dad broke me, Danny."
The Fenton's expression was dry. "He has that affect on people."
"You know what time it is?" Paulina rubbed her hands together gleefully. "It's lab thieving time, guys."
Dash rolled his eyes, "We're not breaking into their lab. Danny's right here."
"Nah, she's right." Kwan copied Paulina's evil hand rubbing, "It's lab thieving time."
Dash turned to their resident Fenton, hoping he could speak some sense to the other two idiots in the room, but found Danny grinning. "Not you too," The blond groaned.
"Just accept it, Dash," Paulina patted him on the shoulder. "It's lab thieving time."
Kwan took up the chant, "One of us. One of us. One of—"
"Fine," Dash ignored the way his mouth was curling up into a smile. How dare it betray him. Such treachery. "It's lab thieving time."
(A/N): Poor Dash, having to deal with these morons *shakes head*
Lemme know if you caught any mistakes. I tried to keep Jack in-character but e_e
Thanks for reading! I read and loved every review last chapter, fuel for my writing-fire (•̤̀ᗜ•̤́๑)
Love ya 3
~ASL