It's official, God's a bitch. A sour old bitch who hated them in particular. Everything was trying to kill him or deciding he just didn't deserve good things and honestly? Jay thought they were doing pretty well with the whole 'realizing life hates you' thing.

No, he's not being dramatic, it's true! He lives in the fucking heart of the Bible Belt as one of the 'unsavory' sort that were going to burn in hell. Not a good feeling, just one he was used to. He could deal with that.

His parents despite having a son like him, but at least he had a pretty tight knit group of friends. In a hostile environment, they had to stick together. Sadly, there were only like three of them so it wasn't to much. But it's whatever, a support structure is a support structure no matter how small. He could deal with this too.

Really, he could've felt with the looks and discrimination from others over something he really couldn't control. Again, he could deal with things. Besides, they were set to graduate in a year and their parents couldn't stop Jay from leaving as soon as possible. It might just be the one thing they encouraged.

Escape was millimeters away from his fingers, they just had to reach out and grab it. He had friends online who supported him and plans for the future. Good things on the horizon...

And then he was struck by lightning.

So, clearly, god picks favorites, and he wasn't one of them. Not too much of a surprise all things considered and it's the main reason Jay reserved the right to call the creator of all a bitch. If he deserves anything, it was that.

Dying really wasn't fun, y'a know? Especially not by lightning, though that might be nicer than most others he could think of. Over and gone in a flash, killing nerve endings before he could really feel pain and leaving behind a nauseating numbness in them. Only the burnt smell of flesh answering the question of 'what the fuck just happened'.

Logically speaking, their brain should've shut down immediately upon death. Something something, the human brain can't survive for more than half a minute without the heart. Or that could be entirely wrong considering he read it on Wikipedia. Who knows, they ain't a doctor.

Of course, the mere fact they were able to complain about this implied he wasn't, in fact, brain dead. Life after death was something they were plenty aware of. He just didn't expect heaven, nor hell, to look like this.

What was 'this'? The very reason he was complaining in his head about everything. If he focused too much on his surroundings he felt he might go insane. No, no, he will go insane. It's not like he was far from crazy before this anyway.

A suffocating nothingness pressed in from all sides. Not dark, not light, not black, and not white. Just nothing. Like trying to see out of your elbow but nothing quite so simple for his mind to comprehend.

No sights, no sounds, not a single thing for any of his senses to latch onto. It was… well it wasn't the hell he was expecting but it was definitely hell. Fire and brimstone would honestly be better. Flames bright and ravaging, scorching them to the bone but at least it wasn't this.

Creeping cold pain slowly wormed its way around his head, writhing like a living thing. Growing and increasing until he couldn't ignore it as the only sensation he had in the hell they'd found themself in.

Then it all went black. Which, despite the distinct feeling that came from being hit in the head with a sledgehammer that the blackness came with, was a million times better than before. Relief heady and palpable, sinking through his mind like a drug. If he had knees, he would've sunk to them. Jay felt exhausted.

You Died!

Banner: Mediocre

Status: Just Above Average

Continue?

[Yes] / [No]

"Damn, couldn't have guessed." They spoke slowly, voice scratchy and raw. It startled him at first, seeming to come from all directions and echoing loudly. He winced, not speaking while here if they could. That was… something.

Still, it wasn't like Jay learned anything new anyway. But, again, this was not what they expected from the afterlife. Actually, that might be a good thing. Their folks would have a heart attack.

Who were their folks again? Death must be messing with his head, could've sworn he remembered not two minutes ago. Or longer? Time hardly meant anything in the void. Jay shivered, feeling electricity thrum in his chest.

Taking a deep breath, static dancing in his ears, Jay struggled with the… whatever this was? But he didn't panic, or tried not to. God, emotions were weird. Did he have emotions in the void? He didn't have anything else but memories, so maybe not.

Quickly, it became obvious that 'No' wasn't an option, especially after just thinking 'Yes' ended up causing the screen thing to explode in a fervor of white and light. Bright and painful, but not in the same way as when he was brought here. Like… like running their hand against a running engine and getting a finger caught.

Hands went to rub against his eyes -they could do that again?- and tried his best to ignore the pain. Their feet hit the ground hard, knees giving out and toppling back into a chair. At least the chair was soft?
A loud groan left them, pain dispersing with every breath until it settled on a dull ache. Breathing heavily, Jay opened his eyes. Oh, that was a color. Or was it a shade? Jay wasn't a fan of color theory.

Gray carpets, gray walls, and a gray armchair. The only other thing in the room was a mirror directly across the room from them, a floor to ceiling thing that was shiny and clear. It didn't paint a very good image.

Sure, it looked mostly like him but… well it was obviously a corpse that they were looking at. Frazzled hair missing a patch and singed, deeps scaring over empty eyes and scratching down their skin. Spreading out like roots, yellows and purples pathed over it. Then there was the thick, sluggish blood from a scraped above their brow.

Yeah, he definitely looked like he got struck by lightning. It shouldn't have been a surprise but… oh god he was going to be sick. But the nausea never came. Swimming just below the surface as he let out a shaky breath that rattled their chest.

[Beta Tester]

-Start Game- A Fresh Start

-Continue Game- Pick Back Up On A Previous Save File

-Character Selection- Why Be Yourself When You Can Be Someone Else?

-Options- Small Changes Have Big Consequences

-Exit- The Final Death

White words sprung up in front of their eyes and he latched onto them with the desperation of a dying man. No, that was too on the nose. Definitely not going there, wait too late. Nevermind.

Jay brought his knees up to his chest, ignoring the way his bones quite literally creaked at the motion. Tucking his chin onto them and letting his vision blur. God, it hurt something fierce but he didn't care.

Maybe if he had the ability to, he would've cried. It seemed the lightning or whatever had zapped out his tears as well leaving just another dull ache on top of eachother. He just needed to think for a little bit.

First of all, there was obviously something weird going on. Dying? Game? Either everything he knew about the afterlife was a lie or this was some Truman Show styled bullshit going on. It didn't feel like his life had been a lie but, then again, what did they know? It's not like life liked them much, that much was true.

So then what did life being a game mean for them? Nothing? Everything? Were their friends fake? Their parents? Then why were they so… so… so everything? If life wasn't a game, if they were the main character, why were they forced to just sit there and take it? Shouldn't he be a literal god? Not some weak 17 year old desperate for any good they could scrape out of life?

Slowly, his eyes settled on the options. Maybe it had to do with being a beta tester, whatever that meant in this scenario. Sure, he knew what beta tester usually means, playing things to find bugs and all that… wait did that mean his lack of memory was a bug? Or was this going to be his 'first' playthrough?

Whatever it was, he could obviously fix it. The options menus had to have some sort of way to make things… if not easier then at the very least different. A good difference if he could manage it. The words faded away, glimpsing at a dead reflection before reappearing again.

[Options]

Difficulty: Easy, Normal, Hard, Impossible, Nightmare

Graphics: Realistic, 2D, Pixel, Abstract

Realm: Realistic, Book, TV Show, Anime...

Music: 0%

SFX: 100%

Subtitles: On, Off

Auto-Leveling: On, Off

HUD: On, Off

Hints: On, Off

Language: English, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Greek...

"What the fuck." Jay rasped out blankly. He flinched, preparing himself for whatever had happened last time… but it sounded mostly normal. Or as normal as it could be being gouged from his fried throat. If burnt bacon had a voice, it would probably be him. Perhaps shattered glass?

No, not what he was going to focus on. Has the version of him that's been here before been an idiot? Actually, they just straight up refuse to accept it. This has to be the first time he's ever been here. They weren't this stupid.

Well, at least it was pretty easy to make things easier. Mostly by, you know, actually letting them access the game mechanics. It was kind of the obvious thing to do. Until he got to 'Realm' and 'Difficulty'.

'Difficulty' was more weird than it was a complicated decision. The fact that the other options were striked out, when no others were, was just… strange. Didn't stop him from trying.

Yeah, it didn't work. Like, at all. All he got was a loud thunk and ringing ears for his effort.

[Notice]

Difficulty [Hard] must be completed for bug fixes before other difficulties are unlocked.

Ah… that makes more sense than Jay was expecting. Still, it couldn't have been 'Easy' or something? Easy would've been nice. Not much effort, just have fun and don't think too hard. Oh to live life on easy mode.

Maybe next time, if there even was a next time. Not to mention only if they even remembered 'next time'. He wasn't entirely sure he would but, oh well, whatever. That was something he could get to when it happened.

Then came 'Realm'. In theory, this would end up being whatever work they were… incarnated? Transported? Into. Whatever word he was supposed to use for it. In practice? It could mean a lot of things in practice.

Especially when the list was, essentially, every single piece of media Jay could think of. From official, canon things to fanmade to some that Jay didn't recognize and almost didn't want to recognize.

It was a mind boggling, head spinning type situation. One that Jay didn't know how to deal with and left his broken body giddy with far too much excitement for its own good. Decisions came and left without consideration.

Decisions, decisions, what to choose.

Then he saw it. Naruto, floating innocently among the 'N's in the anime section. Not as dangerous as some or as extravagant as others but… familiar. Because Naruto held a very warm place in their heart.

Naruto had been his gay awakening.

And oh did it awaken more things that just that

He picked Naruto. They others could always be explored later, not like Jay didn't have time. If time even… existed… you know what? Not going there. He picked Naruto, left the screen, and soundly decided he didn't give a fuck.

The rules of reality didn't apply to anything about this situation so everything he knew be damned, 'Logic' was going as far out the window as they could manage. Which wasn't very far but who cares. Not him, as he's just decided.

With a lot more certainty that they were probably supposed to feel, Jay started his new game. Whatever that meant for them in the long run, he didn't know. But at least while learning he could screw with the canon of Naruto. It's not like he'd never get to try again anyway.

Not if this situation was teaching him anything.

Game Start!

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Error 404: [Character Sheet] not found…

Rerouting to [Character Selection]...

Loading…

Death had loading screens? What a scam. Jay hummed in thought as the world went dark again, his feet taken out from under him and this was very quickly growing old. He'd just have to deal with it.

Still, whoever designed the mechanic to be slingshotted through the void into another room thing was an idiot and Jay wanted to strangle them. Especially as he was forced to the ground after another hard landing.

Thankfully, this was also carpet. Not so thankfully, his muscles were twitching with excess energy and his bones felt like mush. Standing? Never heard of her. Who needs the ability to stand when you have things like not having to look into mirrors and magic screens that constantly float at eye level? Yeah, that's what he thought.

Welcome [Beta Tester] to [Character Selection!]

While a more indepth for creating a character is currently on it's way, as of now it is a relatively simple process. Due to this, the ability to go back and change visual aspect of [Player Character] will be available as soon as the system functions - Devs

To Begin The Process, Please Select From The Following:

[Male] / [Female]

[Premade] / [Custom]

Oh sweet gender affirming lord, nothing on planet earth or whatever abomination of a system he's found himself in was going to stop them from being assigned male at birth. Being a biological female fucking sucked. Periods were, quite honestly, the least of the issues they had. Getting rid of them? Literal heaven.

As for the other option? Sure, becoming an already made character was certainly something. But that felt like imposter syndrome in the making. Plus having to live up to whatever reputation they'd created for that character in their head.

It would take him a long time to get so detached that he could do something like that so easily. Making a new persona after what they wanted to be in the last life would be easier for his mind to grapple with.

The screen expanded.

Please select [4] attributes from the following:

Predestined - One of your parents if from a clan, can be bought up to [2] times for each parent

Bloodline - A bloodline unique to [Player] family - Changes depending on other attributes

Of The People - Be born a civilian, zero expectations from others but looked down upon by some

Dead Parents - Being born an orphan isn't easy, but there's nothing to hold [Player] back either

Dreaded Reputation - Feared and hated in equal measures, a double edged blade

*Will Of Fire - Be born into Konohagakure

*Desert Heat - Be born into Sunagakure

*Clear Skies - Be born into Kumogakure

*Broken Will - Be born into Iwagakure

*Bad Blood - Be born into Kirigakure

Burn Victim - Have the fire nature, making the respective jutsu's cheaper

Fallen Heights - Have the wind nature, making the respective jutsu's cheaper

Thick As Blood - Have the water nature, making the respective jutsu's cheaper

Buried Alive - Have the earth attribute, making the respective jutsu's cheaper

^Static Shock - Have the lightning attribute, making the respective jutsu's cheaper [x]

*: Choosing a attribute bearing this mark is mandatory

^: Not A Decision, has to be chosen

Attribute Points Remaining: 3

"Oh that isn't even fucking funny." Jay felt his eye twitch because Static Shock? A mandatory choice? Really? Okay, yeah, he gets it. Death by god smiting you from the mortal coil is funny. Doesn't mean you have to do this to him.

Whatever, it's not like he could do anything about it, and wasn't that a feeling he was used to. At least he got to choose his village? And parentage to boot. Maybe even another chakra nature if he wasn't feeling like being born into a clan.

The real question here is what's their goal? Just fuck with canon and see what happens? That seems kind of flimsy. Especially when they know so little so far. Then again, choosing attributes were necessary to even learn further. So that left Jay with what he knew about Naruto.

Konoha was really the only choice then, huh? Sure, Suna would probably have also been a decent choice if he wanted to fuck with canon but Konoha was the center of pretty much everything in this world. Not to mention Kiri had that civil war and bloodline thing going on. Iwa and Kumo? Well what they remembered did not paint a pretty picture of them.

Now, clan, that was a hard one. Being born into a clan came with quite a few benefits, especially if he picked up bloodline with it. Then again, it came with just as many downsides too. Mostly because it didn't seem he got to choose which clan.

Was it really worth the risk of being born an Uchiha or branch member Hyuuga? One involved dying young and the other… that seal just looked really painful and the Hyuuga's were also really stuck up in Jay's opinion.

Still, that didn't exactly stop him from picking both civilian and bloodline… even if that probably meant his bloodline would be lackluster. Orphan could make up for that. Those guys were wildcards if Naruto had taught him anything.

Being an Orphan really wasn't appealing though. It just sounded like a bunch more effort than it was worth and can't a guy want a loving family for once? No, he's not trying to justify this to himself fuck off.

All that really only left…

Attributes Selected:

[Of The People] - Background [Civilian]

[Bloodline] - Randomized

[Will of Fire] - Background [Konohagakure Born]

Static Shock - Chakra Nature [Lightning]

Thick As Blood - Chakra Nature [Water]

Confirm?

[Yes] / [No]

If science class taught him anything, it was that lightning and water don't mix unless you're trying to kill someone. Perfect for a ninja, really. Honestly, all these decisions were turning out to be a lot easier than he expected.

Confirming his decisions, the screen blinked from existence rather suddenly. The loss of bright light left spots in his eyes even as it returned just as quickly. What happened to fading? Not that he had much to complain about anyway.

Randomizing Appearance…

Creating Space…

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Character Profile Created!

Intializing…

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Confirmed.

Enjoy [Beta Tester]!

And the world faded to black.

It really had to stop doing that.