"How may I …" Vernon's greeting died on his lips as he goggled at the man stood outside. Quite a person had never been seen on Privet Drive before. He was tall and thin, with a long flowing white beard and long white hair. He was wearing luxurious purple robes with a matching hat perched on his head. Upon his long crooked nose was perched a pair of half-moon glasses, and he smiled good naturedly at Vernon.
"Good evening, Mr. Dursley, I must say, your rhododendrons are flourishing."
"I … what … who … what …" Vernon stammered, at a loss for words. He gave a shake of his head as if to clear it. "What are you doing back?" he asked finally.
"Will you invite me in?" It wasn't a question, and the tall wizard pushed his way past Vernon (quite a feet, considering Vernon's girth) inside. He made his way towards the open dining room door.
Vernon hurriedly glanced around to make sure the neighbors hadn't seen before he closed the door.
"Petunia, we meet again," the wizard greeted, smiling pleasantly at Petunia who looked like she ahd swallowed something distasteful.
"And this must be Dudley," the wizard greeted.
Dudley gaped at him. "Hang on, again? You know each other?" he demanded, glancing first at his mother and then at the stranger.
"We've met," the wizard said. He glanced at the hard backed chairs and gave a small tut. He pulled a long stick out from his voluminous robes and gave it a wave. A soft, woolly pillow appeared out of nowhere and settled down on the chair. "You seem to be doing very well," he said, this time speaking to Petunia.
"Wow!" Dudley gasped, amazed.
Petunia let out a small choking sound and Vernon suddenly blustered. "Now, hold on! You can't just barge in here and start … start doing magic tricks!" His moustache was quivering.
"Apologies. Apologies. I'm not as young as I once was, and a hard chair isn't good for old bones," the wizard said, easing himself down.
"You received your letter?" the wizard said, turning his gaze suddenly towards Dudley.
"Now hold on," Vernon said, sitting down too. "We last saw you 15 years ago, when you came to tell us …" he trailed off and glanced apologetically at Petunia.
"Yes," the wizard said, nodding slowly. "A sad day. A sad day. But, it's why I'm here now. I rather thought you preferred to be contacted by someone you are familiar with."
Vernon looked like he was struggling for words, and really, Dudley couldn't blame him. He himself couldn't help but stare at the wizard. "is it true? Vernon said, picking up the letter once more. "Our Dud is …"
"A wizard," the man said, giving a small nod. "Yes. It's all true."
"He can't be," Petunia said, speaking for the first time. "My sister, she was, but I …" she trailed off, suddenly looking sad briefly before she rearranged her face into a more focused expression.
"Yes," the wizard said, looking up at her kindly. "But these things happen sometimes, and it's not entirely unexpected, what with Lilly."
Petunia twitched at the mention of the name.
"Dad, who is this?" Dudley interrupted, whacking his Smelting's stick on the table.
"My apologies. My apologies," the man said, extending a long fingered hand towards Dudley. "Albus Dumbledore. Headmaster of Hogwarts."
Dudley stared at the hand for a few seconds before shaking it. "You're a wizard," he stated, lifting his eyes to look at Dumbledore. "Like The Great Humberto."
Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, and no," he said. "Yes I am a wizard, and no, I'm not like the Great Humberto because I can actually do magic."
"And I can too?" Dudley demanded.
"You can," Dumbledore said, and glanced at Vernon. "I trust he will be going?"
"He'll be going," Vernon grunted. "It's a shock, but he'll be going." Petunia nodded in agreement, it looked like it took a great deal of effort, but Dudley didn't notice. He was too busy staring at Dumbledore.
"Do a trick," he demanded.
Dumbledore stared for a few seconds, appraising him. "Now, isn't the time," he said finally. Both Vernon and Petunia looked relieved. Dudley however tightened his grip on his Smelting's stick. He wasn't used to saying no. People who said no usually got a prod with the stick, but Dudley got the feeling that Dumbledore wouldn't take too kindly to that. Despite his eccentric appearance and kindly eyes, the old radiated with an unseen power and energy. Even Dudley knew that this wasn't a man to cross. He glanced across at his father, judging by the forced calm expression on his face, Vernon realized that too.
"Now," Dumbledore said, after Dudley looked away. "Dudley will need his school supplies."
Dudley continued to stare curiously at Dumbledore as the old wizard explained to Vernon and Petunia how to get to a place called Diagon Alley and how to get wizarding money. Dudley soon started to grow a bit bored but didn't want to leave in case Dumbledore performed more magic.
"Are you sure Dudley is a wizard?" Petunia asked, speaking again. Dudley snapped back to attention.
"Quite sure," Dumbledore said, turning to Dudley. "Dudley, have you ever had things happen around you that you can't explain?"
Dudley frowned, thinking hard. In truth, he HAD had a number of unexplained incidents happen this year. In the final test at school hadn't he somehow known the answer to every answer on his science test earning full marks AND a trip to a football match as an award? And when he fell out of the oak tree three weeks ago, he had somehow bounced straight back to his feet upon hitting the ground. And—he thought happily—when Jasper Holt had almost gotten away with him, Hadn't Dudley suddenly found himself standing in his path, able to give Jasper his much deserved beating?
He nodded, "Yeah, sometimes," he admitted. He had been about to say that it was he who had set Vernon's underpants on fire during his latest temper tantrum (Vernon had just assumed it was a stray spark from the fire) but held his tongue. Though his father never yelled at him, Dudley thought it best not to test his luck anyway.
"Exactly," Dumbledore said. "I am sure Dudley will make a fine wizard. We have some excellent teachers at Hogwarts."
Dumbledore pulled a large, unusual watch out of his robes. It was made out gold and had twelve hands instead of numbers. Little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore for the wizard put it back in his pocket and stood up smartly.
"Well, I won't intrude on your company for longer, I have another house to visit today—the Granger's their daughter will be joining Dudley at Hogwarts" he said, smiling again at Dudley. "Are you sure you don't want someone to accompany you?" he asked, glancing at Vernon.
"We'll manage," Vernon said gruffly, looking horrified at the thought of another wizard turning up at Privet Drive. "Leaky Cauldron, Charing Cross Road. Ask for Tom."
"Very good," Dumbledore said, making his way to the door. "And don't forget to exchange your money at Gringott's. It's run by goblins, so you can trust they'll be fair,"
Vernon had chosen the wrong moment to have a gulp of his now cold morning tea. "Goblins!" Vernon spluttered, spraying the liquid over the table, but Dumbledore had already gone.