A Small Defense
Chapter Four: Smothering
"What the hell did you do?" Tatsuki yelled at Ichigo, shoving him up against wall of the sports shed and causing him to drop the sports equipment he was putting away.
"What are doing, Tatsuki!" Keigo squealed.
"Get out, Keigo!" Tatsuki snapped. "You too, Mizuiro -and close the door behind you!"
"What's up with you?" Ichigo asked, pulling her hands off his shirt.
"Wanna tell me why Orihime and I just found Rukia vomiting?"
"What! Where?"
Ichigo tried to leave the shed, but Tatsuki grabbed him by the collar and threw him on the ground.
"What the hell are you doing, Tatsuki, I've gotta go check on her!"
"Yeah, I'm sure you do. I told Orihime to bring her to the nurse's office. You wanna tell me why she's vomiting?"
Ichigo panicked internally, worried that Tatsuki had figured it out. Maybe he could throw her off.
"She's got hypoglycemia -everybody knows that!"
"Cut the crap, Ichigo! You might be able to fool everyone else, but you can't fool me! You're always with her, you disappeared with her on her first day -during school! And for the last few weeks, you've been hovering over her. And don't think I haven't noticed the snacks and sports drinks that you've been bringing to school for her."
"It's for her hypoglycemia, I'm just trying to help!"
"Enough with the hypoglycemia, Ichigo, I know that it's bullshit! You and Rukia are joined at the hip, she's been nauseous for weeks and you've been catering to her every need! You've been picking up odd jobs and filling out applications. I saw the pregnancy book you've been reading -oh, and despite her vomiting, Rukia's uniform is looking a little tighter -especially in the chest area, according to Chizuru and Keigo."
"WHAT!" Ichigo exclaimed, standing up and getting ready to hit Keigo. "Have those two perverts been ogling her!"
"Normally I'd agree with you, but they're not the ones who got a girl they barely know pregnant!" Tatsuki said, looking him the eye.
Ichigo's mouth dropped open, unsure what to say. Now that Tatsuki had actually said it out loud, it felt harder to lie about Rukia's pregnancy.
"Tatsuki. . . I didn't. . ."
"Ichigo, please don't lie to me. We've been friends for nine years. I understand wanting to keep this a secret, but you can trust me. Just tell me the truth."
Ichigo sighed.
"You're right, Tatsuki, I got Rukia pregnant."
"YOU BASTARD!" Tatsuki yelled, punching Ichigo in the face.
"OW! WHAT THE HELL TATSUKI! I THOUGHT YOU SAID I COULD TRUST YOU!"
"TO KEEP YOUR SECRET AND HELP YOU TWO IDIOTS, I NEVER SAID I WOULDN'T PUNCH YOU! HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID, ICHIGO?"
"I-"
Ichigo stopped, unsure what to say. He wanted to say that he was not an idiot, but that would require telling Tatsuki the truth about the baby's conception and that was not an option.
"I don't know, Tatsuki," he finally said, giving up on fighting her, "I guess I just wasn't thinking."
"Clearly." Tatsuki scoffed, before letting out a breathe and scratching the back of her head. "I gotta say, I never would have expected something like this from you, did somebody drug you guys or something?"
"Uh. . ."
Ichigo scratched his head, nervously, not really sure what to say. He and Rukia had not really discussed a cover story for how she got pregnant.
"I mean, seriously," Tatsuki continued, "you must've gotten her pregnant the day you met her -unless it's not actually your kid."
"It's definitely my kid." Ichigo said.
"How can you be so sure? You haven't known her very long and she slept with you so soon after meeting you, maybe she-"
"SHE'S NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON!" Ichigo snapped.
"How could you know that? We've only known her two months!"
"You don't know her like I do!"
"Obviously." Tatsuki scoffed again. "But has it occurred to you that maybe that's part of the problem. Don't you think that sleeping with her might be clouding your judgment?"
"WE DON'T-"
Ichigo stopped, once again remembering that he could not deny sleeping with Rukia even though it was true.
"We don't. . . sleep together. . . that much." Ichigo said, trying to push back his embarrassment. "Look, can we just not talk about. . . that."
"Fine, but you're gonna have to give me a reason to trust Rukia."
Ichigo sighed, knowing that she was right. The story does sound a bit fishy (probably because it was).
"Look, you said it before, we've known each other for nine years. You know that I've never had. . . you know."
"Sex?" Tatsuki asked, causing Ichigo's face to heat up.
"Yes, that. " Ichigo answered quickly. "I've never. . . well. . . never before. . . Rukia. . ."
Ichigo felt his face turning red.
"Look, what I'm trying to say is that I'm just as responsible as Rukia for what happened, so can you trust that if I don't have a history of sleeping around, then maybe Rukia doesn't either."
"Ichigo, I'm not trying to attack Rukia, I just want to be sure this is your kid. You're my friend and I don't want you throwing your life away for a kid that's not even yours."
"I know Tatsuki, and I know that it will be hard, but that should also tell you how sure I am that this is my kid. If I had any reason to doubt it, I would not be so determined to take care of Rukia and our baby."
Tatsuki sighed in defeat.
"So you guys are keeping it?"
"Yeah, we are." Ichigo replied.
He decided not to tell her that he would be raising the baby without Rukia.
"Do your families know?"
"No, not yet. I was planning to wait until I have a steady job before telling my family."
"Your dad is gonna go crazy."
"I know, but for once I think I'll actually be thankful for his brand of crazy. He'll be annoying but he'll probably be ecstatic about the baby and let Rukia stay with us."
"You think her parents will kick her out?" Tatsuki asked.
"Uh. . . Her family is. . . complicated, I probably shouldn't talk about it without her permission." Ichigo said.
He and Rukia would have to make a cover story for her family as well. All he knew was that she had told everyone that her family suddenly had to move to Karakura.
"Fair enough. We should probably head out now, we're already late to class and I'm sure Keigo is worried that I've killed you."
"Yeah, and Tatsuki-"
"Yeah, I know, I won't tell anyone."
"Thanks, Tatsuki."
"No problem, but you're gonna need to get a job fast. Rukia is tiny, so she won't be able to hide it very long."
"Yeah, we'll have to figure something out."
"Well for now, I can just beat up Chizuru and Keigo, but you're gonna have to suggest a bigger uniform to Rukia."
Ichigo gulped at the thought. Was there a safe way to tell a pregnant and hormonal woman that she needed bigger clothes? Rukia already got mad at him for insulting her sucky drawings, but this would be crossing a whole other line. Thankfully he could wait until school was over to say something.
The end of the school day came, and Ichigo found himself trying to figure out how to bring up the subject as he and Rukia walked home.
"I heard you threw up during gym today." He finally said.
"Yes, Orihime took me to the nurse's office. I convinced her that it was just hypoglycemia, so she gave me a snack and some juice. Who told you?"
"Tatsuki. I would have come to check on you, but she stopped me."
"It's probably a good thing you didn't come, it would have caused suspicion."
"Tatsuki knows."
Rukia stopped walking and looked up at him.
"She knows. . . about the baby?"
"Yes, she figured it out and interrogated me about it."
"What did you tell her?"
"Well. . ."
"Ichigo." Rukia said in a tone warning him that he better start talking.
"I denied it at first, but she didn't fall for it -we've known each other too long."
"So what did you tell her?"
"I didn't give any details!" Ichigo said in a panicked tone.
"Just tell me what you told her so that we can keep our stories straight." Rukia said in exasperation.
"Oh right. . ." Ichigo laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Well, uh, I told her that we weren't drugged or anything when the baby was conceived."
"Why would you say that?"
"Because she asked!"
"I suppose it it rather suspicious for me to be pregnant so soon after we met, especially since you're uncomfortable with even saying the word 'kiss'."
Ichigo's face turned red at the memory of what Kon had done in his body.
"What did you tell her?" Rukia asked.
"I told her that it just happened, but that we weren't. . .um. . . doing that. . . often."
"She asked how often we have relations?"
"DON'T SAY THAT!" Ichigo yelled in embarrassment.
"We're going to have to find a word that you're comfortable with."
"THE WORD DOESN'T MATTER, THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME MEANING!"
"People are staring, Ichigo."
Ichigo looked around and noticed a few people looking at him after his outburst.
"Let's just talk about this at home." He mumbled, before resuming the walk home.
Upon returning home, Ichigo made a cup of ginger tea for Rukia (he told Yuzu that he had an upset stomach). Rukia was already at his desk and working on her homework by the time he brought the tea up. He had to hand it to her, she was taking her cover as a high school student very seriously.
"Here," he said, holding the tea out to her, "I thought this might help."
"Thank you." Rukia said with a small smile as she accepted the cup.
She took a sip and closed her eyes, taking a moment to relax before resuming their conversation. She turned the chair to face Ichigo, who was now sitting on his bed.
"So what did you tell Tatsuki about our relationship?"
"I don't think I even said that we have a relationship, I just told her that we don't. . . sleep together often, and that I trust you. I also said that I hope Dad will let you live with us when he finds out about the baby."
"Where does she think I'm living now?"
"With your family. I told her that you're family is complicated and might kick you out when they find out you're pregnant."
"That's not too far from the truth." Rukia said, before taking another sip of tea.
"What is your family like?" Ichigo asked.
"My made up family?"
"No -I mean, yes, we need to discuss that too- but I meant your real family. All I know is that you and your brother aren't close. . . do you have any other family?"
"We have some extended family, but I'm not close to any of them either." Rukia replied calmly.
"So, your parents are dead?"
"My brother's parents are dead." She replied in a matter of fact manner.
"Wouldn't they be your parents too?"
"They died before my brother adopted me."
"You're adopted? By your brother? Wouldn't that make him your father?" Ichigo asked finding himself more and more confused
"No, I wasn't exactly a child at that point, so it would have been odd to adopt me as a daughter."
"What about your family before that?"
"I don't know about any family before that. I lived on the streets of Hanging Dog when I was a child. It's likely that I was born in the world of the living, died as an infant and was brought to the Soul Society alone."
"Wait. . . Are you telling me that you're dead?"
"In a manner of speaking, I may be."
"So I'm having a baby with a dead woman?" Ichigo asked.
"Technically, I'd be the soul of a dead baby." Rukia said casually, while taking a sip of tea.
"THAT'S WORSE!"
"Is it really that big of a deal?"
"Of course it. . . "
Ichigo stopped in the middle of his sentence and thought about the situation. He had already already accepted that he, a fifteen year old virgin, was about to become a single father to a child conceived through an exchange of power in the middle of a battle. He had known from the beginning that the mother of his child was a supernatural being who was at least a hundred years old. Did the fact that she may have died as an infant really make much difference? He sighed and shook his head.
"I guess it isn't, it's just a bit weird is all."
"But having a baby with a soul reaper isn't?"
"This whole situation is weird, Rukia."
"That is true. . ." Rukia agreed. "Have you rethought your decision yet?"
"Give it up, Rukia, I'm not changing my mind."
"I know, I just thought I'd check." She said, before putting her tea down and stretching.
Ichigo watched her stretch and thought about what Tatsuki had said. He had never looked at Rukia's body very much. He knew she was an extremely petite woman who could kick his ass, but had never actually paid attention to her exact proportions. To him it looked like her uniform was fitting normally, but he was not enough of a creep to know. Maybe he could ask Kon about it, but he would have to wait until Rukia was asleep. Speaking of Kon. . . .
"Have you seen Kon?" Ichigo asked.
"No, I haven't. . ."
Rukia stood up, walked to the closet and opened it to reveal Kon sleeping on her pillow.
"Again?" Ichigo asked in annoyance. "How many times do I have to tell him to stay out of there?"
"At least he's not hugging one of my bras this time." Rukia said.
"I guess that's an improvement. Should we just leave him and enjoy the quiet?"
"As nice as that sounds, I'd like to change out of my uniform and I can't really do that with him in the closet."
"Um. . . about that. . ."
Ichigo scratched his head nervously, trying to figure out how to approach the topic of her body changes.
"What is it, Ichigo?" Rukia asked.
"Well, uh, part of the reason Tatsuki figured out that you're pregnant is because. . . well. . . Keigo and Chizuru said that you uniform is looking a bit tight. . . especially around your. . . uh. . ."
"My breasts?" Rukia finished for him.
"Yeah. . . . Have you noticed any changes?"
Rukia let out a sigh, and for once, Ichigo noticed that her cheeks were turning a little red.
"Yes, I have."
"Why didn't you say anything?" Ichigo asked.
"I didn't think anyone would notice, so I thought I could wait a little longer before getting new clothes."
"Are your clothes getting uncomfortable?"
"A little bit, but it's not worth bothering you."
"Rukiaaa," Ichigo groaned, "I was serious when I told you to tell me if you have a problem, no matter how small it seems."
"Why? I fail to see how being uncomfortable will affect the baby."
"It's not just about the baby, Rukia!" Ichigo said in frustration. "Is it so hard believe that I also care about you and want to make this pregnancy as easy as possible for you?"
"If you want to make my pregnancy easier, then stop worrying so much!" Rukia said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"That doesn't make any sense!"
"Ichigo, the more you worry about me and take care of me, the guiltier I feel. You're already being forced to fight hollows when you should be focusing on school and enjoying your youth!"
Rukia's calm persona began to quickly unravel as she spoke.
"It was only supposed to be for a short time, but now you're going to be raising the baby by yourself!" She cried as tears began leaking from her eyes. "And instead of enjoying what little freedom you have in the months before the baby is born, you're spending it worrying about me! I've already destroyed your life enough as it is, and now I'm taking away your last few months of freedom. So, please! Stop worrying about me so much!"
To Ichigo's surprise and horror, Rukia crumbled to the ground and was now kneeling on the ground and sobbing into her hands.
"Rukia?" Kon called, curiously, as he woke up from his nap. "Rukia! Why are you crying? What did you do to her, Ichigo!"
The stuffed lion jumped at Ichigo and tried to pummel him, but Ichigo did not notice. Instead he was staring at the tiny soul reaper -the strongest woman he knew- who was now sobbing at his feet.
Why was she always taking the blame for everything? None of this would have happened if he had not attracted that hollow's attention. It definitely would not have happened if he had listened to her and stayed out of her way as she fought that hollow. Had something happened in her past to make her believe that everything was her fault? Did it have something to do with all the dead friends from her childhood? Also, did she really think that he normally enjoyed his life before all of this?
"Rukia," He said as he knelt down in front of her and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I want to get something straight. You did not ruin my life."
"Yes, I did!" She cried.
"No, Rukia, you didn't!"
"Yeah, that's right Rukia! It's all Ichigo's fault!" Kon yelled.
Ichigo looked down at his shirt in surprise, having forgot about his presence.
"For once, I have to agree with Kon," Ichigo said as he pulled the plush lion off his chest, "but considering that I'm the one who made you cry, I think I should handle this on my own while Kon reads his favorite manga."
Thankfully, Kon took a hint for once and walked over to the bookshelf. Ichigo returned his focus to Rukia. This time he pulled her face up from her hands and made her look him in the eyes.
"Listen to me, Rukia. I was the idiot who put myself in the path of that hollow. If I had listened to you and let you do your job, you wouldn't have been injured."
"If I had been faster-"
"-You got hurt because of me, and even though I didn't deserve it, you saved me and my family. We wouldn't be here, if it wasn't for you!"
"But-"
"-Being a substitute soul reaper is a small price to pay for my family's safety. And if you think I was enjoying my life before I met you, think again. I've spent the last six years blaming myself for my mother's death. I never would have known the truth if wasn't for you!"
Tears continued to leak from Rukia's eyes.
"But you're going to spend the rest of your life taking care of a child that you don't want while everybody judges you for something that you didn't even do!"
"Wha- Who said I don't want this baby?" Ichigo asked indignantly.
"You did, the night that I told you about the baby, you said that you didn't want a baby but you were still going to take care of it!"
Ichigo stared at Rukia in shock. Had he really made her think that he didn't want the baby? Was that why she thought she was a burden?
"GAH!" He yelled, grabbing his head in frustration. "I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, RUKIA!"
"Don't bothered lying, Ichigo." Rukia said, looking down at her lap and hiding her eyes from him.
"I'm not lying, Rukia!" He insisted.
Ichigo reached out and grabbed her hands.
"Look, I just meant that having a baby when I was high school was never really a goal, you know? And, yes, I wasn't too enthusiastic at first -which I think is understandable- but now, I'm looking forward to having this baby. I know that it'll be hard and that I'll have to work hard to give her a good life, but I think that it'll be worth it."
Rukia finally lifted her head and looked at him with confusion and curiosity. Ichigo took this as a sign that he was getting through to her and continued talking.
"I know it sounds crazy, but for the first time in years, I have something to look forward to. From the moment you told me about the baby, I wanted to protect her. The first time I felt her spiritual pressure, I felt. . . happy."
Ichigo thought back to that very first moment of connection with his child and smiled.
"I felt a connection to her from that very first moment and it just. . . it gave me a feeling of peace and happiness that's hard to describe. I love feeling her spiritual presence, which is why you keep catching me feeling her spiritual pressure."
Rukia's lips momentarily twitched into a smile, and he knew she was thinking of all the times she had teased him after catching with that "goofy smile" on his face.
"It was incredible to see her moving on the ultrasound and to hear her heartbeat for the first time, I still get blown away just remembering it and how could I not be? She's my baby, even if she's come earlier than expected and in the most unusual way. She's my baby and I love her; and I can't wait to hold her, and see her first smile and first steps. I can't wait to hear her first laugh and her first words, I can't wait to see her play with my sisters and even my old man. I know that my family is going to love her, even if they have trouble accepting the situation at first, I know them well enough to know that she won't suffer from a lack of love. And no matter how hard I have to work or how much others will judge me, it'll be worth it, because it'll all be for her."
Rukia's tears had slowed, as he gave his speech, and had currently reached a standstill. Ichigo was certain he had gotten through to her, but wanted to make it clear.
"So please believe me when I say that you aren't ruining my life. You're making it better and I would be devastated if anything happened to either of you."
Rukia looked at him with an expression that he could not quite understand. Her mouth was slightly parted as she looked into his eyes. There seemed to be a mixture of surprise and acceptance in her eyes, but there also seemed to be a bit of confusion. She was clearly thinking about something he said, but he was not sure what. They sat in silence for a few moments, until Rukia finally spoke.
"You keep saying she and her." Rukia pointed out.
"That's what you got from that whole thing!" Ichigo asked in annoyance, letting go of her hands.
"No," Rukia replied, "I was just curious, what makes you so sure the baby is a girl?"
Ichigo crossed his arms and thought about it for a moment before shrugging.
"I don't know, I guess I was just hoping."
"I'm hoping it's a girl too!" Kon piped up from beside the bookshelf.
"Kon, I will duct tape headphones to your ears and throw you in the underwear drawer if you don't butt out of this!" Ichigo snapped at the stuffed animal.
Kon immediately apologized, reopened the manga and held it up in front of his head. Satisfied that Kon had taken his threat seriously, Ichigo turned back to Rukia and saw an amused smirk on her face.
"What?"
"You want a daughter?"
"Well. . ." Ichigo said, scratching the back of his head. "I've got two little sisters, so I've got a bit of experience taking care of little girls."
"That's all?"
"Well, I also think Yuzu would love to have a niece, she'd probably dress her up all the time and have tea parties with her -so would Dad. I wouldn't have to worry about him 'training' her and I won't have to worry about her getting into too many fights."
"You're not going to worry about her getting attacked?"
"I will, but I also know that if she takes after you, she'll be able to kick everybody's ass."
Ichigo chuckled a bit as he imagined his future daughter jumping in the air and kicking a man in the face.
"What's so funny?" Rukia asked.
"I'm just imagining her kicking somebody."
"What does she look like?"
"What?"
"In your imagination. I'm just curious how you envision her."
"Well, uh, I guess I picture her looking a lot like you."
"Why?"
"Well I'd feel sorry for her if she looked like me." He said earning a small laugh from Rukia.
"What if she looked like your sisters, would that be okay?"
"Yeah, I guess, it's just. . ."
"What?" Rukia asked, clearly curious about his reasoning.
Ichigo felt his face turning red, and saw Rukia's curiosity grow.
"Well. . . it would be nice, you know? You have to leave and I'm going to miss you, so it would be nice to see you in her and be reminded of you -although I hope she doesn't inherit your drawing skills, I'd hate to tell my daughter that her drawings suck."
Rukia instantly punched him in the abdomen, making him regret that last comment.
"Why do have to hit so hard?" Ichigo groaned, pushing himself back into a sitting position.
"Do you still think you're going to miss me?" Rukia asked.
"Yeah, I do." He replied, rubbing the sore spot.
"Why?" Rukia asked.
Ichigo looked at her face and saw that she was truly confused.
"You really have to ask? Look, I know we didn't really like each other at first, but I think it's safe to say that we're friends now. I really do care about you, Rukia."
Rukia's lips and chin suddenly began trembling and her eyes filled with tears.
"Oh no." Ichigo said in horror. "I'm sorry, Rukia! What did I-"
Rukia launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around his torso. Ichigo sat still in shock, with arms stretched out in the air as he looked down at Rukia. She was hugging him. . . and sobbing into his chest. Rukia Kuchiki was hugging him and sobbing into chest. He did not understand what was happening. What was happening? What was he supposed to do?
"Psst, Ichigo, hug her back you dummy!" Kon said just loud enough for Ichigo to hear from across the room.
Ichigo took Kon's advice for once and wrapped his arms around Rukia uncertainly. She wrapped her arms tighter around him and continued sobbing into his chest, prompting Ichigo to hold her more firmly and place a comforting hand on the back of her head.
"Rukia. . . I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry."
"Idiot." Rukia said though her tears. "You haven't done anything wrong. I have no reason to be crying."
"Wanna blame the hormones?" Ichigo asked.
He was sure he felt her smile.
"Sure." Rukia replied.
Ichigo chuckled, but found himself wondering how they were going to get through the next seven months if this kept up. A sudden image of her punching him, flashed through his mind and found himself thinking that the crying was not so bad after all. He also thought back to something that both Rukia and Tatsuki had said earlier and realized that he had been hovering over her. Urahara had told him that the baby's spiritual pressure would not draw the attention of hollows, so Rukia did not need to be perpetually guarded. Maybe he should give her some more space.
"Hey, Rukia, about what you said earlier, you're right. I have gone a bit overboard, so I'll try to give you a little more space. I'll go out with family tomorrow night, and I'll try to spend a little more time. . . enjoying myself, but I'd still like it if you let me know if anything is bothering you. Does that sound okay?"
Rukia sniffled and nodded into his chest. Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief and rested his chin on the top of her head. They stayed that way for a minute before a thought occurred to Ichigo.
"Uh, Rukia? How long do we need to stay like this?" He asked nervously.
Ichigo clenched his eyes shut, ready to be punched. Rukia laughed. The sound surprised Ichigo, but he soon smiled and decided that he could live with Rukia's laughter.
I'm still trying to decide what to about the years in this story. I'm going to continue working with the 2005 calendar as my reference, since it lines up with some of the dates/days that are mentioned, but I still need to decide if I'm going to change the year in this fanfic.
Also, I know that Ichigo's feelings regarding when he connects with the baby might seem odd to some people, but I've been able to take care of a lot babies, so I based his feelings off of how I feel when I get them to relax or fall asleep. There's something very peaceful and satisfying about a baby relaxing and trusting you to take care of them.
I'm trying my best to remain faithful to the characters, but I am putting them in situation outside of the ordinary, so that will obviously affect their thoughts, words and actions.