How is This My Life 2

by FMPtrumpets

Harry and the group continue with the reading of Harry's life, and boy is it a year! The adults aren't sure who they want to strangle first, Harry for getting into situations like this, or the adults that let it happen! So much for Sirius wanting a nice, quiet year...

13. The Dueling Club

Those from the past with an older self. Everybody else.

Parselmouth

Sign language/telepathy

Sadly neither Harry Potter, nor any of his friends and companions belong to me. I really wish it were different, but it is not and likely never will be.

---

"Shall we continue?" Filius said after a moment of silence from the book.

"Might as well." Harry said, fairly certain that the next chapter was going to include their Polyjuice making in some way, but not completely sure.

Filius caught a glimpse of the chapter title when he started the charm again, and made a face. "This should be interesting." He muttered.

Chapter eleven: The Dueling Club

"I thought Dumbledore stopped the Dueling Club in our seventh year." Sirius said, confused.

"He did." Remus hid his amusement. He'd heard about this fiasco. "You'll find out."

"This was good." Harry muttered, looking forward to reading about Snape sending Lockhart flying again. He wasn't looking forward to reliving the moment everybody turned on him, though, just because of an ability.

(Harry woke up on... but very stiff.)

Harry grimaced and flexed his fingers, reveling again in the feeling of having the ability. He'd been so scared when it first happened that his arm was going to stay like that for the rest of his life.

(He sat up quickly... you may leave.")

"That's good."

"I didn't have to escape!" Harry grinned at Poppy, who scowled at him. She didn't like his frequent escapes from her domain when she didn't release him.

(Harry dressed as... weren't there.)

"Wait, what?" The Twins asked, confused.

"I would have expected you two to meet him in the Hospital Wing." Bill said, staring at the two, eyes narrowed.

Ron and Hermione glanced at each other. "We explained to Harry." Ron finally said. "We would have, but..." He motioned towards the book, not wanting to repeat anything.

(Harry left to look... bones back or not.)

"Oh, no that wasn't at all what happened." Hermione started, horrified that Harry had taken it that way.

"I know." Harry said, pushing down some lingering hurt. He knew full well that they had needed to get started with the Polyjuice, especially after Colin was attacked.

(As Harry passed... time they'd met.)

"Oh?" Charlie asked in interest. "Find a good book?"

Percy flushed red. "Penny and I had plans for the following weekend." He admitted with a mumble, not looking at any of his brothers.

("Oh, hello, Harry,"... earned fifty points!")

"And me five Galleons." Percy smirked slightly. He'd made a bet with Higgs, and he'd come out on top. Of course, when it came to Quidditch, he was always going to bet on Harry to come out on top.

"You were gambling?" Molly demanded, frowning.

"Uh-" Percy stammered. "It was just a small bet on a school game." He muttered, and shifted uncomfortably. His siblings looked at him in amazement, he was so rule-abiding, they never would have thought it possible.

("You haven't seen... another girls' toilet...")

"Why do I get the feeling that's exactly where they were?" Severus asked nobody in particular.

"Er-" Ron and Hermione glanced at each other again. "Well..." The Professors groaned while Sirius looked like he couldn't decide how to feel about this.

(Harry forced a laugh... be in there again,)

"Wait a minute, how did you guess that was where they were just from that comment? They could have been anywhere!" Neville burst out. Percy wasn't even serious, he was just complaining about an earlier incident!

Harry shrugged. "I figured that it would be a good spot to look, and it wasn't used much, perfect for hiding or something."

"They could have been in the Maze." Percy pointed out. It only said Harry checked the Common Room before heading towards the library. Harry frowned, not having even thought of that.

"Well, we weren't in the Maze, so..." Ron shrugged.

"What on earth could you have been doing in a bathroom instead of going to check on your best friend in the Hospital Wing?" Poppy demanded.

"Eh-" Ron and Hermione looked at each other, not sure how to answer that, but sure that the book would get into it.

(but after making sure... perched on the toilet,)

"Oh, tell me that you're not brewing a potion in there!" Severus groaned. "That is possibly the worst possible place to do it!"

"What do you mean? It was fine, we were-" Hermione tried to protest.

"That bathroom was filthy, for one thing." Severus cut her off, glaring. "Who knows what sort of contaminants are floating around in the air alone, let alone the surfaces. There isn't a proper air-filtration system set up to deal with the fumes and that restroom doesn't have a window for you to open. The lighting is weak and pathetic to be brewing such a complicated potion, especially inside a toilet stall, and you don't have the space to move about properly. If you do something wrong and it explodes, you have no way of getting out of the way quickly enough." Severus started listing all the reasons why this was a bad brewing area.

"That's not even including the fact that Moaning Myrtle floods the bathroom whenever she gets overly emotional." Albus added. "Frequently." He had to put up with Argus's complaints on the matter often enough to know what he was talking about.

The Trio glanced at each other. They hadn't even thought of all that.

"It was the only place we could brew and be sure nobody would find it." Hermione said quietly. The Maze was too well traveled, the only way you could be sure that nobody would use your reserved room was if a Prefect or McGonagall set the wards around the room, and then you had to tell them what you needed the room for.

"Over half the castle is empty, practically abandoned. You could have found an empty classroom and nobody would have found it." Filius said dryly.

"Is nobody else wondering how the three of them fit in there?" Fred muttered. George snorted beside him and patted his shoulder.

(and a crackling from... specialty of Hermione's.)

Hermione gave a small smirk, but didn't say anything.

"Which is most impressive for your age." Filius nodded at the girl, proud of her.

("We'd've come... the Polyjuice Potion,")

"Ok, I can accept that."

"We overheard the Professor's talking." Hermione explained quietly.

(Ron explained as... place to hide it.")

Severus grumbled again about idiot kids while Ginny turned pale as she realized something.

They were in and out of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom for a month. What if they'd come in as she was leaving or worse, what if the Basilisk had left with her and killed them like she did Myrtle? What if Tom had her do something to them?

"In hindsight that was a stupid place to have it." Harry muttered to Hermione, quiet enough that Severus wouldn't hear him.

(Harry started to... Flitwick this morning.)

The professors' glanced at each other. They needed to be more careful about talking where students could hear them sometimes. They were sure this wasn't the only time they had ever done this.

(They were right, and they would come to sorely regret it).

(That's why we decided... it out on Colin.")

Draco sighed. "Except that I was either in my Common Room the entire night, or I was with Uncle Severus. Creevey shouldn't have even been out there, it was spur of the moment for him. So how would I have known that he was out of his Common Room in order to target him?" He asked dryly.

"I didn't think of that." Hermione said quietly.

"Just like the rest of the school didn't think of..." Harry cut himself off with a glance at Sirius and Remus. Now that he thought about it, he was ashamed of himself for jumping to conclusions about Draco like this, as if he didn't know how it felt when others did it to him.

"Everybody was scared that year, most of the school let it control them." Neville said, which was honestly a small comfort.

("There's something else,"... was at school here)

"When my grandfather was just finishing school, actually. Father wasn't even born yet." Draco supplied, rolling his eyes. He made sure Severus couldn't see it, though.

"Roll those eyes again, and I'll make sure they keep rolling." Severus murmured in his ear. Of course, Severus knew anyway. He always knew.

(and now he's... how to do it.)

"That's gotten very old, very fast." Draco muttered. They were going to hear about him being the culprit for a while, weren't they?

(It's obvious. Wish... around the school.")

"That's true, something that old has got to be rather large..." Sirius muttered. "How did nobody come across it?"

The Trio glanced at each other. That... was a good question. Mrs. Norris was the only one found anywhere near a bathroom, while the rest of them, the Basilisk would have had to have traveled a distance from the nearest bathroom, petrified them, turned around and gone back. They'd already established that Minerva was nearby when Colin was attacked, so how had she not noticed anything? Sure, it traveled through the plumbing for the most part, but there were times when it had to leave the pipes.

"Maybe you were closer to your guess then we thought, Hermione." Harry muttered. Maybe Tom was using invisibility charms or something.

("Maybe it can make... about Chameleon Ghouls-")

"Not a bad theory." Minerva admitted. "And one that we certainly explored, but we found nothing." Which frustrated her, she hadn't even thought of looking at snakes, despite the Slytherin symbol being a serpent.

"Chameleon Ghouls don't petrify, and a Ghoul wouldn't attack a living being unless they were encroaching on it's territory or interfering with them finding food." Remus added.

"It was an example of creatures that can become invisible." Hermione deadpanned. She wasn't saying she thought the monster was a Ghoul.

"... Right." Remus looked away to hide the redness on his face.

("You read too much... of the leeches.)

Severus closed his eyes at the utter lack of finesse these three were already displaying. "You did not even bother to count? The recipe doesn't call for the entire bag!" He rebuked. Luckily lacewings wasn't one of the ingredients that really mattered. "You just ruined the potions potency, the transformation will now only last at most forty-five minutes instead of the full hour."

"That explains a lot." Harry muttered. It hadn't felt like an hour, but time also flew when he was in those situations.

"I don't like how you three are making this. This is such a complicated potion, and so easy to get wrong..." Sirius fussed a little.

"We were careful." Hermione muttered. She'd memorized the recipe before they even started brewing, and had it copied out to reference later on. She hadn't wanted to keep the book itself for too long in case somebody asked Ms. Pince about it.

"Not careful enough." Poppy snapped, glaring at Hermione and remembering the month the girl spent in her hospital wing, covered in cat fur and sporting a new tail.

(He crumpled up... going to kill you.")

"Which is why I made him promise to stop trying." Harry said, smirking.

(The news that Colin... by Monday morning.)

"That's slow by Hogwarts normal standards." Remus commented.

"They didn't even tell any of us what happened. Everything the students knew, we learned from overhearing the teachers." Harry said. And, of course, with it being the weekend made sure it went slower even though the weekend was usually when the Houses mingled the most outside of classes.

"Hmm. Still seems slow." Sirius shrugged.

(The air was suddenly... ventured forth alone.)

"While safety in numbers is a good idea, that also means that more of them will be targeted at once." Arabella commented.

"No, it's a good thing that they're not going alone." Minerva sighed. "It would have been better if the Prefects were escorting them, helping them feel more secure." It would have been even better if the teachers had actually spoken with their students.

"Where are the professor's in all this?" Sirius asked.

"Once again, nowhere to be found." Harry said. The bitterness in his voice only twisted the knife in Minerva's heart.

(Ginny Weasley, who... from behind statues.)

"Nice effort, wrong method." Charlie deadpanned.

"At least we tried." Fred muttered.

(They only stopped... having nightmares.)

Percy scowled. "I should have written, anyway." He muttered.

"It wasn't nightmares." Ginny said quietly, paling a little. She didn't explain to her brothers, though.

(Meanwhile, hidden from... sweeping the school.)

"You have got to be joking." Remus muttered while Sirius roared with laughter.

"We confiscated so many things that year, some that could have been deadly if used." Minerva sighed, while glaring at Sirius in annoyance.

"Hey, nothing I tried to sell could have ever hurt anybody." Sirius defended himself.

"No, just provide a few laughs." Remus rolled his eyes, not bothering to hide his mischievous look. Sirius glanced at him. "It didn't last long before people learned not to trust anything he tried to sell them." He said dryly.

(Neville Longbottom... rotting newt tail)

"That's disgusting." Dudley said dryly.

"That sounds like somebody didn't store their potions ingredients correctly, or throw old ingredients out when they went bad." Severus shook his head.

(before the other... in no danger;)

"We had no idea he'd bought that stuff, or I would have stopped him from ever doing it." Ron defended himself and the other Gryffindor boys.

(he was a pureblood... I'm almost a Squib.")

"You are not!" All the Gryffindor's cried at once.

"You were one of the most powerful and quickest studies in the DA, and that was when your wand didn't fit." Ginny snapped out of it to rebuke that ridiculous notion of him being a Squib.

Neville smiled slightly. "I know, I know better than to think like this now." He assured them. And he did, his confidence in himself had grown since this time in his second year.

(In the second week... as very suspicious.)

Draco rolled his eyes. "I was staying because my parents were out of the country for all of December and January." He informed the Trio, exasperated. How was it that they could take something so simple, and turn it into something so sinister? Honestly.

"Sorry." Ron muttered quietly.

(The holidays would... confession out of him.)

"There are less people around to potentially catch you." Sirius muttered reluctantly. He did not like this plan, not at all. Especially not after hearing about the unsafe conditions they were in for the actual brewing itself. But at least it seemed like they were planning it out properly.

"I knew they were acting strange that night." Draco muttered, scowling. When the two had run out, and then later came back knowing nothing about the conversation he'd just had with them, the fact they'd woken up in a broom closet somewhere... he knew he should have wondered more. He should have been more urgent with his letter warning his father, at least. But he hadn't even thought anything of it until he got a letter informing Draco of the raid.

(Unfortunately, the... robbing his office.)

"And here you do both." Ron sighed dramatically.

"Don't remind me." Harry rolled his eyes. "And I'm not the one who stole anything." He reminded Ron, who shrugged. What was the difference, really, when it was a plan the three of them came up with and carried out.

Albus frowned. "Theft is not tolerated in Hogwarts." He warned everybody in the room, just as a reminder. He could probably get away with not expelling Harry if they were caught, but he wasn't sure about the other two, especially Ronald who was already on 'thin ice' for the car incident.

("What we need,"... what we need.")

"Oh, now that is gutsy." Fred breathed. Any diversion carried out in the Potions lab while Potions were being brewed had the potential to turn very dangerous, very quickly. There were very few potions that wouldn't explode in some way if messed with or brewed wrong.

"It would have been much easier if you just owl ordered what you needed." Neville pointed out.

"Or come to us, we could have found what you needed." George added, gesturing between his brother and himself.

(Harry and Ron... matter-of-fact tone.)

Jaws dropped.

"Did Hermione Granger just..."

"... Offer to steal something?" The Twins breathed, staring at her in shock.

Hermione huffed and rolled her eyes. "It's not that I liked doing it, but it was necessary." She said simply.

"Not if you'd given the adults a chance." Sirius grumbled.

At least Severus was now getting a clearer picture of what happened that day, and he was not happy with it, judging by the dark scowl on his face.

("You two will be... a clean record.)

"Makes sense." Fred and George said at once.

"Ron would have been expelled, Dumbledore would have found a way to keep me around." Harry grumbled.

(So all you need... dragon in the eye.)

"Apt description, little brother." Fred said cheerfully.

"It was nice knowing you!" Bill sighed and smacked his twin brothers across the head, glaring when they protested.

"This is not a joking matter, you know how dangerous potions can be." He said sternly.

(Potions lessons took... sniggered appreciatively.)

"Well that doesn't help the students learn to get along with each other. Or teach them good manners, or how to not be bullies." Arabella listed off dryly.

"I'm pretty sure most of their attitude came from Snape." Harry shrugged, and ignored the glare that came his way.

(Draco Malfoy, who... at Ron and Harry,)

"That is rather childish of you." Luna observed. "And petty." She frowned. Severus' glare transferred from the Trio to Draco. Draco, who knew better then to throw ingredients around in the lab, especially into or near other cauldrons.

Harry and Ron snorted. "That's about how it went with him." Harry shrugged. Most of the arguments seemed to be between Draco and the Weasley's anyway. Harry certainly never started anything.

Draco was red. "Yeah, well..." He muttered.

(who knew that... could say "unfair".)

"That is unfair, they're not the ones doing anything wrong." Arabella protested.

"Thank you." Harry said pointedly.

(Harry's Swelling... out of his pocket,)

It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room, everybody was so shocked.

"A firework... why would you be setting off a firework in the potions lab?" Charlie asked faintly in disbelief.

"That was you?" Draco demanded, staring at them in disbelief. They could have killed somebody! Severus' eyes glittered darkly as he glared.

"I had wondered why I was one short." Fred muttered, blinking. On the one hand, he was proud of Harry for managing to steal it from them, on the other, he was dreading what Harry was about to do with it.

(and gave it... in Goyle's cauldron.)

"Oh, Merlin."

"You have a death wish." Fred and George said faintly. Even they knew better then to do something like this, potions were not something to be messed with.

"Are you mad?" Sirius breathed, shocked. He'd known they were planning something during Potions class, but he never imagined that they might do something like that.

"Do you have any idea what could have happened if you were even a second earlier?" Severus asked, deadly quiet. One second earlier, the cauldron would have exploded, violently, and released a toxic gas that could have killed everyone in the room. The Swelling Solution was one of the more 'docile' potions to brew, unless somebody did something stupid like throw explosives in the cauldron during one of it's few volatile stages.

"Yes, I studied it extensively so I knew when would be safest while still causing a sufficient amount of chaos. I was watching Goyle carefully so I knew when to signal Harry." Hermione defended herself. She knew what she was doing, she wasn't about to do something halfway and get somebody killed as a result. "And it was a small firework, at that."

"You could have still killed someone!" Severus roared, glaring.

"What? No-" Hermione started, confused. She shrank back from his glare and swallowed when his arm shot up and his finger pointed at the book.

The entire time, Molly's mouth moved up and down, but she seemed too stunned to actually say anything.

(Goyle's potion... the whole class.)

"Not the whole class, just those that were in a two desk radius." Neville corrected. Which, fortunately for the Gryffindor's, wasn't any of them.

"One of the good things about the rivalry, the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's sit as far away from each other as possible." Hermione commented with a sigh. Although in Potions class that was more a defensive measure to keep their potions from being sabotaged.

(People shrieked as... to swell like a balloon;)

Dudley chuckled a bit before he realized that he was the only one laughing.

He looked around carefully, and saw that the adults were horrified or resigned, the Trio was eyeing their professor warily, and the rest of the crowd was watching the Trio or looking cautiously between the Trio and Severus. (His parents looked satisfied at this happening, but he didn't count their reaction as something that mattered.)

Clearly there was more to this that he was missing because of his ignorance of the magical world.

(Goyle blundered around... out who did this-")

"I'm sure I can come up with something while we are here." Severus said silkily, his glare never leaving his face.

"Now, Severus, this was years ago for them. If I'm not going to let Molly berate them for everything that happened, I'm not sure it's fair if I let you punish them for this." Arthur, surprisingly, was the one to speak up in their defense. "If they had done it more then this once, that might be different." He nodded towards Draco, who he knew was being punished by his godfather for all the lies Draco told about his interactions with Potter over the years. But he also knew that Severus had been deeply hurt to find out his godson had lied, the one person he'd thought he could trust to be honest with him.

Severus narrowed his eyes, but didn't say anything else.

(Harry tried not... puffed-up lips,)

"What do you think would have happened had the potion gotten into their mouth, or if they'd swallowed it instead of it just landing on their lips?" Severus asked dangerously. "They were having trouble breathing as it was. Or if I did not deflate them in time, you could have permanently blinded Mr. Goyle." He said dangerously, just using the few examples that were provided by the book.

The Trio was silent, having not even considered all that. Suddenly the physical reactions everybody had to the Swelling Solution wasn't as funny as it was then.

(Harry saw Hermione... her robes bulging.)

"How did we miss that?" Draco muttered to himself. Severus growled to himself and pinched the bridge of his nose.

(When everyone... had subsided,)

Poppy grumbled about them not being sent to her, but knew that Severus was more then qualified to handle incidents like this, so she didn't grumble too much.

(Snape swept over... person is expelled.")

"Well, I would have been expelled. For sure." Ron cut in.

"I'm pretty sure Professor Dumbledore would have made sure I stayed." Harry snorted and rolled his eyes.

(Harry arranged his... a puzzled expression.)

"I went to school with your father, he was much better at that." Severus sneered, and ignored Remus and Sirius' gaping at his back-handed compliment to James Potter.

"You looked a little constipated." Draco supplied helpfully.

"Thanks for that." Harry rolled his eyes.

(Snape was looking... bathroom. "I could tell.")

"No, I hoped it was you." Severus corrected.

"Understandable considering what happened." Remus muttered while Sirius pursed his lips, but didn't say anything.

(Hermione threw the... weeks," she said happily.)

"All that is needed now is two weeks of regular stirring." Severus said, narrowing his eyes further at the Trio. He wished that the book went into more detail of just how they brewed this potion, so he could know just how much it was messed up, but it didn't. This was a complex potion, they'd already messed it up with the lacewing flies, it was a NEWT level potion for a reason, after all.

"At all hours of the night." Ron grumbled. Thank goodness for Harry's cloak, or they would have been caught so many times in those two weeks.

("Snape can't prove... "What can he do?")

"Does he ever need a reason to do something to me?" Harry asked.

"Oh. Good point." Ron muttered, sitting back.

"Severus." Sirius immediately warned him, glaring. He already knew that Severus had made Harry's years at Hogwarts miserable, he didn't want to know what Snape thought up for the student that he thought responsible for the firework.

("Knowing Snape, something... over, looking excited.)

"Oh? This should be interesting." Sirius muttered. Announcements that had other students excited usually were.

"If those two are excited, then it's not Hogsmeade. They're not old enough, and the first outing would have already happened, anyway." Remus reasoned.

"I wish it was Hogsmeade." Harry muttered.

("They're starting a Dueling Club!" said Seamus.)

"Starting it? What?" Sirius asked quietly, confused.

Remus cleared his throat. "The club was discontinued after that Halloween." He said quietly. Sirius was even more confused. Why would such an important and well-liked club be discontinued?

("First meeting tonight!... the sign with interest.)

"Thankfully not." Harry muttered.

"Well, the monster may not be able to duel, but whoever is controlling it would." Sirius reasoned out, tilting his head.

"I don't remember hearing about this continuing after one meeting." Remus said in question, glancing at the other professors. They looked even more annoyed at the reminder, but didn't say anything.

("Could be useful,"... "Shall we go?")

"We should have stayed away." Ron muttered.

Harry hummed in agreement.

"It wasn't worth much in the end, was it?" Neville asked, rolling his eyes. It had created more trouble then it was worth at the end of the day.

(Harry and Hermione... along one wall,)

"Wait, you jumped right in?" Sirius asked, confused. The first meeting of the year should always be informational only, especially if more people showed up then expected. Everybody would need to know the basic schedule, rules of the club, etc.

"Oh, yeah." Harry nodded solemnly.

(lit by thousands of... and looking excited.)

"You're going to need multiple meetings, or break the one meeting up into groups, the older years are much further along then the younger years are." Sirius muttered thoughtfully. That was what he did, he'd had two meetings a week for each age group, first through fourth years together, and then fifth through seventh.

"Where were you when this was happening?" Hermione grumbled quietly.

("I wonder who'll... maybe it'll be him.")

"I have been trying to start a proper dueling club for years now." Filius said flatly. "Every year I get the same answer. 'There's no need for one', or 'There's not enough student interest'." He glared darkly at Dumbledore. He had not been impressed when he heard that Lockhart asked for, and was granted, permission to start a dueling club. He was even more unimpressed when Lockhart refused any effort he took to be involved (as Ms Granger said, he was a Dueling World Champion), and the club didn't even last one night before it failed so spectacularly.

"What? I loved the Dueling Club when I was there." Sirius immediately protested, even more confused when he heard the reasons for it being discontinued. "It was one of the most popular and widely attended clubs!"

"There was a dueling club? And you were in it?" Harry asked, surprised.

Sirius nodded. "I was the club captain for my sixth and seventh year." He revealed. When he wasn't playing pranks or Quidditch, he was in the dueling club room.

"Try telling him all that." Filius jerked an irritated thumb at Dumbledore, who looked completely unrepentant.

"When you attended was during uncertain times, after the first defeat of Voldemort, I did not see a reason to keep it going, we were at peace again." He said wisely.

"Bull." Remus said, glaring at him. He'd brought up a dueling club in the year he'd been there, too. "The dueling club has been around for centuries until you ended it. Magical Britain is now a joke in dueling circuits around the world, where we used to produce world champions." He gestured towards Filius as his example.

"I take it from this conversation that the Professor was not the one in charge." Arabella said cautiously, glancing around at everybody.

"Correct." Minerva said sourly.

("As long as it's... ended on a groan:)

"I do not have a good feeling about this." Sirius muttered, narrowing his eyes at the scowling teachers.

"Good. Nothing good happened." Harry said shortly.

(Gilderoy Lockhart)

Everyone's groan echoed book-Harry's reaction.

"This should be interesting." Sirius sighed. "While he was in the dueling club, and he showed potential for being a creative duelist despite his limited offensive/defensive repertoire, he didn't really go far. He was too interested in peacocking to really learn much or improve his spell casting. Honestly, I'm not sure why he even joined." He shook his head.

(was walking onto... his usual black.)

"Peacock." Sirius sighed. He couldn't even dress properly for the occasion.

"Don't insult peacock's." Harry scolded him, and ignored Remus' amused glance.

"Although, this should at least be interesting." Remus smirked. "Severus is there." Sirius perked up, if there was one thing he could admire about Snape, it was that he made humiliation an artform.

(Lockhart waved an... hear me? Excellent!")

"This is already annoying." Sirius muttered. Lockhart hadn't done anything wrong or bad yet, though, so he was going to withhold judgement.

For now.

Like he said, this should just be an informational meeting, there shouldn't be any actual dueling just yet.

("Now, Professor Dumbledore... my published works.)

"Did he just use this club to advertise his books?"

"What's the point? Most, if not all, of the students already have a complete set of his books." Dudley tilted his head, confused.

"True. He's using his entire class to advertise his books, why not a dueling club?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"That should not have been allowed." Molly muttered.

(Let me introduce... Professor Snape,")

"How did you get dragged into this?" Remus asked. "I would have thought he would ask Professor Flitwick."

"The Headmaster 'suggested' it." Severus glared at the twinkly-eyed old man.

"That sounds like a splendid idea." Dumbledore beamed, sure that Severus would do a good job.

"It was a terrible idea." Minerva muttered. She'd thought Severus was going to curse the Headmaster then and there when he 'suggested' it, she'd almost wished that she'd sat in just to make sure Severus didn't kill Lockhart in front of all those students, but she had too much work to do.

(said Lockhart, flashing... bit about dueling)

"A tiny bit." Minerva muttered, watching Severus' lip curl in a snarl. "It's a miracle he survived this."

"A bit more then that." Remus snorted. Severus was easily one of the best fighters the Death Eaters had, the only reason he wasn't on raids more often was because he was more valuable as a Potions Master. The Dark Lord didn't want to risk anything happening to him.

(himself and has... before we begin.)

"This should be interesting." Arabella said with a smirk.

"It wasn't as interesting as it could have been." Harry grumbled.

"Too many people around." Severus said, still disappointed he hadn't gotten a chance to do more to the man.

(Now, I don't want... him, never fear!")

"I don't think it's Severus we need to worry about." Bill commented with a smirk.

"Oh, definitely not." Charlie agreed with his older brother.

Severus smirked, even knowing that he hadn't actually managed to do much.

("Wouldn't it be... was still smiling;)

"He's either that sure of himself, or he's that clueless." Percy muttered.

"Or both." Harry muttered.

"Let's go with both." Ron nodded once, as if that was that.

(if Snape had been... in the opposite direction.)

Severus smirked in satisfaction. "Good." He purred.

The other professors shook their heads, amused.

(Lockhart and Snape... combative position,")

"So far so good." Sirius muttered, honestly surprised. "Although this could have waited until the second meeting." He frowned. This could get ugly.

"This is the second thing I've ever learned from him." Harry confirmed.

"Second?" Minerva asked, surprised. "What was the first?"

"Never release Pixies into a classroom." All of her Gryffindor's said at once. Even they had learned that, and those not in the room at the time hadn't seen it in person. They'd only heard the aftermath in the Common Room.

(Lockhart told the... to kill, of course.")

Everybody snorted. "I wouldn't be counting on that." Sirius and Remus said at once, amusing Harry for some reason.

"I wish." Severus muttered sourly.

("I wouldn't bet on... baring his teeth.)

"You call this a good idea?" Arthur asked Dumbledore, thankfully he already knew that Lockhart lived to the end of the school year.

"Hmm, perhaps somebody else should have at least sat in." Albus grimaced.

"Perhaps?" Sirius echoed, rolling his eyes.

("One- two- three-"... cried: "Expelliarmus!")

"That's it?" Sirius asked, amused. That was all he was going to do to the other man?

"Witnesses." Severus said, satisfied. If there hadn't been so many students around, he would not have sent such an innocent spell. The other professor's hid their amusement. They had wished many times that year that they could encounter Lockhart in a dark, empty hallway. They'd all enjoyed hearing Severus' tales of knocking him off his feet, and being allowed to do it.

"Severus." Dumbledore said, disappointed. Severus merely blinked innocently.

(There was a dazzling... sprawl on the floor.)

Sirius and the Twins clapped, cheered, and whistled. Severus smirked and shocked everybody when he stood and took a bow.

Hermione laughed. "You enjoyed that, didn't you?" She asked rhetorically. Severus' eyes glittered when he glanced at her, not even his annoyance over the firework could dim his enjoyment of hearing about this again.

"Is it supposed to send somebody flying like that?" Dudley asked, curious. From what Harry had said, that spell was to disarm, not send flying. Apparently this was Harry's favorite spell, so he'd told Dudley all about it.

"It can, if enough power is put behind it." Harry smirked.

(Malfoy and some... through her fingers.)

"You need to get over this." Draco told her bluntly.

"Oh, she was like this all year." Harry confirmed while she turned bright red.

("Who cares?" said Harry and Ron together.)

"Now boys, I know he doesn't inspire much confidence as a teacher, but he is still one of your professors." Arthur said mildly, but with a glint in his eyes that told his sons he didn't really mean it, and was likely just heading off a lecture from somebody else.

"Don't call him a professor, that's just an insult to us." Minerva complained. Arthur tilted his head in apology.

(Lockhart was getting... onto the platform.)

"You really put some power into that one." Minerva said, amused and not even trying to hide it. He'd clearly hit the wall hard.

Severus tilted his head with a smirk. "He stopped trying to tell me how to brew a potion after this." He informed the room. In fact, Lockhart had avoided him altogether after this.

("That was a... to let them see...")

"He is so full of it." All the Weasley boys said at once, they were amazed by what they were hearing.

"Are we sure he wasn't a Lion? He sure is acting like it." Pomona snorted.

"Hey! Don't insult my Lions!" Minerva frowned at her.

"I think it was more obliviousness than bravery." Harry deadpanned.

(Snape was looking murderous.)

"You clearly didn't see it, his wand was sparking." Draco informed the room, glancing at the Trio. He'd only seen it because he'd been right beside Severus on the floor, so the sparks had practically been in his face.

Severus didn't say anything, but his expression said it all. He'd almost forgotten all about the crowd of students watching everything, and cursed the jumped up peacock as he deserved.

(Possibly Lockhart had... like to help me-")

"Wait, what?" Sirius asked, stunned. "That's it? That is not enough demonstrating! You haven't even told them how to cast that spell, you showed them once! And there are way too many people there to actually monitor them or make sure they behave!" He ranted for a bit about stupid and incompetent professors. "And what about the younger years? They're not going to have a clue what they're doing!"

"This isn't going to end well, is it?" Remus sighed. He'd heard the stories, but most of the professors seemed more content with pretending the entire year with Lockhart didn't exist, so they didn't talk about it much. At least Severus was here, he had sense. He wasn't going to let- say, a seventh year be paired with a first year.

"No it did not." Harry muttered sourly.

"I told him that letting Lockhart be in charge of this was a bad idea." Filius groused. Now, if Dumbledore had just let him restart the dueling club years ago like he'd asked, repeatedly, this wouldn't be an issue. He still had no idea why Dumbledore had pandered to this fraud so much.

(They moved through... Harry and Ron first.)

"Oh, this should be interesting." Charlie muttered.

"I don't think he's going to let Harry and Ron stay together for this." Bill commented, sighing.

"Nope." Harry muttered sourly. It would have been better if Snape had, though. Although he probably still would have given Draco the chance to humiliate him in front of the whole school. It would have still been a much better day, Seamus certainly would have appreciated it.

("Time to split up... toward Hermione.)

"Somehow I don't think he's going to allow that, either." Charlie rolled his eyes.

"You know him so well." Harry complimented. Charlie gave him a dry stare, but didn't comment.

("I don't think so,"... the famous Potter.)

"This is not going to end well." Dudley summed up. This was going from bad to worse. "Are you trying to get somebody killed?" He asked Severus, who didn't bother to answer him.

Remus took back every thought he had about Severus having sense.

(And you, Miss Granger... Holidays with Hags.)

"Well that's not very nice." Luna frowned at Harry.

Harry grimaced. "No, it wasn't. Sorry." He didn't really know who he was apologizing to, the person he'd insulted wasn't even here.

"Accurate, though." Hermione muttered under her breath. Bulstrode wasn't the most pleasant looking person, although she'd grown out of those looks.

"You read those books?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"Only enough to write my essays. I mostly paid attention to the pictures." Harry shrugged.

(She was large... she did not return.)

"Yeah, she's not the most pleasant person at first, she takes a while to warm up to you." Draco grimaced, remembering his first time meeting her. To say it had not gone well was an understatement. "She's quite nice after that, though."

"I'll take your word for it." Hermione said. She shared Arithmancy with her, and Bulstrode had yet to say a word to her, even when they were partnered together on a project. It was very difficult to share information with somebody who wouldn't talk and explain, just shoved a piece of parchment with the information at her.

("Face your partners!"... eyes off each other.)

"Good, at the way your current relationship was, Draco would not have hesitated to curse you when your eyes were turned." Neville nodded once and ignored Draco's half-hearted glare.

He couldn't deny Neville's claim, after all. He hadn't even waited to three or bothered to Disarm.

("Wands at the... Disarm your opponents-)

"How, you haven't even taught them the spell you little-" Sirius cut himself off before he said what he really wanted to. "Is this guy serious?" He asked, not bothering with the running gag. "Is he trying to get somebody killed? A single demonstration where the spell wasn't even properly demonstrated to inexperienced children is not how you teach them something." Severus hadn't used any of the 'correct' movements for the spell, swinging his wand above his head had merely been for dramatics, he suspected. He was also a master, the students wouldn't be able to do it without the proper focus from the movements.

He didn't even have them practice against dummies!

"And, like Severus already demonstrated, this spell is so easy to overload and send somebody flying." Remus said grimly.

"My Hospital Wing was full that evening." Poppy confirmed. It was mostly small things, but there were a few injuries that made her really wonder what on earth they'd been doing in that club.

"That's why I started the DA with the basics." Harry muttered to Hermione and Ron. He'd picked this spell up quickly, but he'd also looked it up and practiced it a bit. It had seemed really handy, so he put in a bit of extra work for it.

"Remember Justin's face when you suggested it? He was so offended, and then he couldn't even perform the spell." Ron snickered. Hermione's eyes shone with amusement but she didn't say anything. The adults looked at them curiously while the members of the DA in the room laughed at the memory.

(only to disarm... any accidents-)

"Oh, there are going to be accidents, alright." Sirius fell into more grumbles, not at all happy with what they were reading.

"And some probably won't even be accidents." Remus supplied darkly, watching Draco suspiciously.

(one... two... three-"... started on 'two':)

"Of course he did." Ron glared at Draco, who looked unrepentant.

So he'd wanted to get an edge over the best Seeker at Hogwarts, so what? With Potter's reflexes, the only chance he had of getting him was by cheating a bit.

"Did Lucius teach you to fight?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes. "He fights just as, if not more, dirty."

(His spell hit Harry... with a saucepan.)

"What were you thinking using a Bludgeoning Hex on the Gryffindor Golden Boy in the middle of the Great Hall!" Severus exclaimed, whipping around to glare at his godson. (Everybody ignored the face Harry made at that nickname.)

Harry pursed his lips. "Thank goodness for Aunt Petunia's frying pan, or I don't think I could have shrugged that off." He shrugged, and immediately flinched at the incredulous glares from the others while Petunia turned a very interesting array of colors and sprouted more animal parts. She shrieked, but was Silenced with a negligent wave of a furious Sirius Black's hand.

"That was not funny." He told Harry softly before turning to Draco. "What were you thinking? If that had been fully powered, you could have killed him!" He informed the Malfoy heir softly, dangerously.

Draco swallowed. "I wasn't thinking." He said warily. "I just- I wanted to do something big." He'd been shocked when Harry seemed to shrug it off so easily, which (in his twelve year old mind) was the only reason Harry had caught him with that Tickling Charm.

"You can count yourself lucky that was a rather weak spell, or you would have done 'something big' alright." Sirius scoffed. He could have killed Harry!

(He stumbled, but... to be working,)

"Unbelievable." Sirius muttered under his breath, throwing a deadly glare towards the Dursleys, the reason his pup was able to brush that off so easily. Even an underpowered Bludgeoning Hex would have incapacitated anyone else.

"Good thing, too." Remus glared at Draco, too. The hint of amber in his eyes made it clear just how displeased he was.

(and wasting no... doubled up, wheezing.)

There were cheers. "That is an appropriate spell to use against another student in a duel." Sirius said pointedly, giving Draco a look.

"Nice hit, cub." Remus complimented.

"Thanks." Harry grinned.

("I said Disarm only!" Lockhart shouted in alarm)

"What a useless idiot." Was the general consensus.

"He can't even keep order."

"This is why he shouldn't have started anything during the first meeting." Sirius rolled his eyes.

(over the heads of... move for laughing.)

"Good." Moody said in approval. "It's not a powerful charm, but sometimes that's the best way to go. And if they can't speak, most of the time they can't curse you back." Not everybody had the mental aptitude and focus for silent casting, after all. Most didn't even bother unless they were in the Auror corps, Dueling circuits, or were fighters in general. (He would be surprised when he learned Snape started his sixth years on silent casting).

"I could hardly breathe, too!" Draco complained.

"Even better for Potter." Moody smirked in even more approval.

"Alastor." Severus said in warning, glaring. Moody raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment further.

(Harry hung back... he was on the floor,)

"At least Disarm him!" Moody barked, his approval gone and replaced by sheer annoyance. Hexing him further would have been extremely unsporting, especially in this setting, but disarming him would be entirely appropriate, and allowed since that was what they were supposed to be doing anyway!

Harry grimaced. "Yeah, I realized that." He gave a tight smile.

Draco smirked slightly.

(but this was a mistake;)

"You think?" Moody sneered. "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

Everybody jumped, not having expected him to yell his familiar instruction.

He was already planning to up Harry's training during the next break between books.

(gasping for breath... kind of quickstep.)

Draco smirked while others moaned about Harry's 'bad luck'.

Moody nodded in approval for his being able to cast anyway. He was still disappointed in Harry for not taking his wand.

("Stop! Stop!"... Snape took charge.)

"Of course he did. Because the guy who's actually in charge is useless." Remus said, matter-of-fact.

"Indeed." Severus' lip was curled, but his eyes glittered in amusement.

("Finite Incantatem!"... able to to look up.)

Somebody whistled. "An area-wide spell on a crowd full of students? Impressive." Filius said. Especially when you took into account the students' wild, uncontrolled magic would be everywhere in the Great Hall.

"I didn't even know that spell could be used area-wide." Pomona blinked.

"It can't." Minerva informed her. There were, of course, variants of different spells that could be used area-wide, but this wasn't one of them. Severus raised an eyebrow when everybody turned to him.

"It is not difficult, simply throw your magic out in a wave." He rolled his eyes. It truly wasn't.

(A haze of greenish... over the scene.)

"What on earth were those students doing in there?" Minerva deadpanned, blinking.

"You don't want to know." Severus said immediately. He was fairly certain most of the smoke came from the younger years, but there had been plenty of shoddy spell-work coming from the upper years, as well. "I felt highly justified in continuing to ask for the Defense post, however." He explained. She sighed.

"Whatever it was, they weren't Disarming charms." Sirius muttered. He wondered if any of the students did as they were told.

(Both Neville and... the floor, panting;)

"What were you two doing?" Ron asked, blinking. He didn't remember seeing any of their duel.

"I don't know." Neville confessed. "Honestly, I have no idea what happened, it was all so fast." He defended himself from the incredulous stares of the others.

The adults didn't really know what to make of that, so they didn't say anything.

(Ron was holding... wand had done;)

"What did you do?" Hermione asked in alarm. She'd missed what happened to the other two, she'd been a little busy trying to breathe.

"Good question." Ron muttered, face red. "I actually tried the Disarming spell, but all I remember seeing was a lot of smoke, some fire, and then Seamus was looking like that."

Ollivander glared at the teachers for letting this continue. He grabbed a piece of parchment and started writing a letter. This was going to be rectified if he had to drag his entire store to the Great Hall and check every student's wand himself. All at the school's expense, of course, as they were the ones not doing anything when it was so obvious what was wrong.

They were lucky that Seamus boy wasn't seriously injured or killed.

(but Hermione and... whimpering in pain;)

"Oh, dear." Minerva breathed, eyes wide.

"I didn't even get a chance to cast anything." Hermione winced, rubbing her neck at the memory. She'd been sore for a few days. "I went to Disarm her, like we were supposed to, but she dropped her wand and rushed me." And, of course, she'd lost her own wand in the attack.

Moody narrowed his eyes. "Join us for hand-to-hand during the next break." He ordered her. Hermione looked startled, and unsure, but she agreed.

"You'll be fine." Harry signed, smiling reassuringly.

"Why did I not see you that night?" Poppy asked her, frowning severely.

"It wasn't that bad, I was just a little sore, nothing a hot shower and some sleep couldn't fix." Hermione assured the Healer. Poppy hummed and clicked her tongue, but didn't say anything else.

(both their wands... bigger than he was.)

"Not any bigger then Dudley, though." Harry shrugged. He knew how to handle large bullies, even if it didn't always save him from Dudley and his gang.

"Sorry." Dudley apologized again. Harry waved him off.

"Is there a reason why he had to be the one to separate them?" Filius asked Severus, frowning.

"I was on the other side of the room reversing a partial human-transfiguration on a seventh year." Severus promptly answered. That was another reason he hadn't protested too much Dumbledore told him to do this, somebody competent had to be there to keep the students from killing themselves or each other.

("Dear, dear," said... a second, Boot-)

"If he was at all competent, he could have used a medical spell to stop the bleeding. It's not even a difficult one." Poppy said dryly, even more unimpressed with his lack of knowledge then she was before.

"You really want him trying a Healing spell again? After how the last time ended?" Severus asked her dryly. "Knowing him, he would have removed Mr. Boot's nose entirely. Or an eye."

"... Good point." She said after a moment. That would have been a bit more difficult to fix than a deboned arm, especially considering all the blood vessels in the nose and how close it was to the brain and eyes.

(I think I'd better...unfriendly spell,")

"You think?" Sirius drawled sarcastically. "We should have pranked him harder." He grumbled to Remus, who raised his eyebrows but didn't comment. Personally he thought that if they pranked him any more then they did, it would have turned into bullying, and he worked hard to keep them from stepping over that line, even if they did get dangerously close and occasionally put a toe or two across it.

"I don't think that would have worked." Arthur informed Sirius with a snort.

(said Lockhart, standing... looked quickly away.)

"He's finally scared of you." Minerva said, amused. She'd wondered what that was about, although she supposed he bounced back quickly.

"Not scared... apprehensive. Shame it didn't last." Severus sighed.

"Yes, a true shame." Minerva agreed, lips twitching.

("Let's have a... and malevolent bat.)

"We haven't heard any of his descriptions lately." Ron said, snorting.

"As accurate as always." The Twins said.

Severus scowled at everybody, but even he had to admit it was accurate, especially with what the students as a whole called him.

("Longbottom causes... simplest spells.)

"Oh, sure, just humiliate the boy in public, why don't you?" Remus grumbled. At least when Severus did that before his lesson on Boggarts it was only with the third year Lions and Snakes, this was in front of the vast majority of the school. Even how Snape treated everybody during class was different, because everybody knew that was how he ran his class and therefore didn't think anything of it. This was both in front of the entire school and outside of class.

Severus grimaced. "I... apologize, Longbottom, for my unprofessional behavior." He said reluctantly. He knew it needed to be said, but he did not like having to apologize.

Neville studied him for a few moments. "It's alright. You've more then made up for it." He finally said.

(We'll be sending... in a matchbox.")

"Back then, probably." Neville admitted before anybody could call Severus out again. "I didn't have a very good grasp of my magic yet, and my wand was ill-suited."

"Maybe so, but he could have put it differently or simply not said anything like that at all." Minerva frowned at him.

(Neville's round, pink... with a twisted smile.)

"Oh, sure, let's give him a chance to humiliate me in public, in front of the entire school!" Harry spoke up for the first time in quite a while. "Really?" He demanded of Severus, who had the decency to look somewhat ashamed.

"And he doesn't even know what happened yet." Hermione signed to the other two with a sigh. Honestly, that year would have been so much better if this hadn't happened, maybe the whole 'Harry is the Heir' nonsense would have actually died down if people hadn't learned Harry was a Parselmouth. It had started to die down when Colin was Petrified (everybody knew what happened to Harry's arm), but they'd forgotten that after this night.

"Save your indignation for later." Harry advised his younger self, in complete agreement with Hermione.

("Excellent idea!" said... and dropped it.)

Jaws dropped.

"You have got to be joking." Filius muttered under his breath in complete disbelief.

(Snape smirked as... a little overexcited-")

"That's not how it works." Ollivander deadpanned. Were wands semi-sentient to a degree? Yes. Did they 'jump out' of their wielders hands in excitement? No. Their sentience was limited to choosing their wielder, which really had more to do with magic and personality compatibility then anything else.

Fred and George eyed their mother and decided not to make the comment that was at the tip of their tongues. It wasn't appropriate, and they felt that pushing her right now (so soon after the 'fireworks in the potion' incident was read about, would not be a good idea. They could restrain themselves!

(Snape moved closer... Malfoy smirked, too.)

"What did you say to him?" Harry asked Severus curiously.

"I was merely commenting on Lockhart's general incompetence." Severus said smoothly, innocently.

"Oh." Harry tilted his head, but brushed it off. Instead he got his drawing pad back out and started sketching the scene with the snake and Justin.

(Harry looked up... blocking thing again?")

"Did you just ask him that?" Arabella deadpanned. Everybody else was looking at Harry in shock or confusion.

"Yeah... I have no excuse." Harry sighed.

("Scared?" muttered... couldn't hear him.)

"Of you?" Harry asked. "No. Concerned about what Snape just told you? Yeah." He'd had no idea what Snape told him, but he did know that neither Snape nor Malfoy liked him, so it was sure to be something nasty.

"Understandable." Sirius nodded his agreement, although he still wasn't too thrilled with Harry having to rely on Lockhart for help against his rival and a hateful teacher.

("You wish," said... what I did, Harry!")

"Do that and you're dead." Sirius said blankly, unable to believe that this man had the audacity to call himself a professor.

"He shames us all." Minerva scowled.

("What, drop my wand?")

That got some chuckles.

(But Lockhart wasn't... bellowed, "Serpensortia!")

"Where did you learn a spell like that?" Pomona asked, blinking in surprise. So that was where the snake came from.

"My mother." Draco said, confused about why she was asking.

Sirius cleared his throat. "All Black children learn that spell before going to Hogwarts. It is considered a Rite of Passage, considering our abilities." He said, referring to (for those who knew about it) their Parseltongue. Even though not everybody had it, especially in recent generations, they still learned it. It was a perfect spell for getting a ready made scout or ally.

The spell didn't just conjure a snake, it summoned your familiar, especially if learned the Black way. This was different from a Familiar like Hedwig, because this was created by your magic and locked with your blood. And it was, of course, always a snake. Even for the non-Parselmouth using this spell, the snake would still obey all your commands, and could still relay information if you could get past the language barrier. When cast by a regular wizard, and not using the extra step the Black's used, then it conjured a regular snake, and a different one every time at that.

He supposed he should be happy that Narcissa at least taught him this part of his heritage.

(The end of his... ready to strike.)

Sirius nodded in approval at the well done spell-work, even though he was not pleased at it being used against Harry. Then he frowned. "Have you been taught this spell?" He asked Harry. He couldn't believe he hadn't asked earlier.

"No." Harry said, looking excited to learn it, it was part of his heritage, after all.

"I'll fix that in the next break." Sirius promised.

(There were screams... the angry snake.)

"I wasn't necessarily enjoying it, I didn't see much issue, however." Severus shook his head. "As long as he stayed still, which he was, he would be fine." Unfortunately, he'd underestimated Lockhart's ability to be stupid in that moment.

That being said, he hadn't exactly been expecting his godson to summon his snake familiar in the middle of the Great Hall, in front of the entire student body. (He was friends with Regulus and Narcissa, he'd observed or been told a bit about the Black family).

("I'll get rid of it..."

"Allow me!" shouted Lockhart.)

"Oh, no!" Most of the room groaned.

"This isn't going to end well, is it." Remus stated. It wasn't even a question at this point, they all knew that nothing involving Lockhart with a wand in his hand was going to end well.

(He brandished his... with a loud smack.)

"That absolute idiot." Sirius breathed. "There are a few species out there that are black, without a better description I have no idea which one Draco summoned, but some of them are highly venomous." He glanced at Draco, who winced in remembered pain, he'd gotten a headache from that, his mental connection to his familiar kicked her emotions and physical pain back to him.

"Even if this one isn't, you still have an angry snake in a room full of teenagers." Remus said grimly.

"He couldn't even do that much properly! What on earth were you thinking, hiring somebody like that!" Arabella snapped at Albus, not at all happy with him.

"My snake is not venomous." Draco informed the room quietly. Thankfully for many, especially when he was younger. Sirius nodded in acknowledgement.

"That was still stupid of him." He shook his head.

(Enraged, hissing furiously,)

"What was it saying?" Neville asked Harry, curious.

Harry blinked. "She wasn't really saying anything... It was angry hissing."

"She?" Ron asked. Harry nodded.

(it slithered straight... poised to strike.)

"Oh, no."

"Severus, any time now would be good." Remus informed the Potions Master, who grimaced.

He'd moved too slow, he knew it. He'd been too shocked by what Lockhart did to get rid of the snake before Harry outed himself.

(Harry wasn't sure... "Leave him alone!")

"Oh, I bet it wasn't English, though." Sirius breathed. This could turn into a very bad situation.

"This is the worst place to out yourself."

"Yes it was." Hermione muttered.

"I didn't even know what was going on!" Harry defended himself. Especially when everybody started staring at him and he noticed the fear on their faces.

(And miraculously- inexplicably... couldn't have explained.)

"Part of being a Parselmouth. Most snakes will obey a Speaker." Sirius said. "Your magic will recognize that." He nodded. He was surprised it listened though, since it was Draco's familiar. Perhaps it was because Draco wasn't a Parsel.

"I've noticed that." Harry said. Too bad Nagini was already under Riddle's control, or he would just order her to stay away from him for good.

(He looked up at... out of the hall.)

"Oh, this isn't good." Sirius muttered.

"He's too worked up to listen. Now he's going to go get even more worked up." Remus sighed. He remembered vague comments about this in the staff room, but he couldn't remember what exactly was said.

"Fear makes people see things differently then reality." Luna piped in. "Just remember that." She looked at Harry, who sighed and nodded reluctantly. He supposed he could understand that, didn't make him any happier to be on the receiving end all the time.

(Snape stepped forward... Harry didn't like it.)

"I wouldn't either." Most of the room said.

"What's that look about?" Percy asked Severus curiously. He hadn't seen it, he'd been too focused on Harry.

"I was wondering what it meant. For the school and for the fight against the Dark Lord." Severus said after a moment. And, of course, what it meant for Harry to be a Parsel. He hadn't been aware at the time of Harry being born with the gift, he'd thought that it was left over from that night. It wasn't until a few days ago that Sirius set him straight that he knew better.

(He was also dimly... around the walls.)

"Once again, the students have something to mutter and point about." Harry said bitterly. It seemed like he couldn't go more then a week without doing something that the student body seemed to find fascinating on some level, for good or bad.

"And this time it's nothing good." Hermione sighed.

(Then he felt a... "Move- come on-")

"Yes, get him out of there." Sirius said, biting his lip. At this rate, he wasn't sure what the students were going to do. But the last thing he wanted was for them to try and mob his godson. Snape's presence should be a deterrent, but he was one man against a crowd of angry magical teenagers.

"It might be better to stay and let everybody know what Harry said." Remus pointed out.

Sirius and Moody shook their heads. "They're angry and scared. People get stupid when they're angry and scared. Best let them calm down and let the teachers handle it." Sirius said.

The Trio snorted while Minerva, Filius, and Pomona looked guilty.

(Ron steered him... of catching something.)

Sirius growled, sounding remarkably like Padfoot for a moment, if he was in his other form, his teeth would be bared and his hackles would be raised.

"Calm down, Sirius. They're just kids. Stupid kids who don't know how to think, but just kids." Remus said quietly, even though he himself would rather tear said stupid kids apart.

But he knew Sirius was remembering the first few months of their first year, when the other Gryffindor's had treated him much the same way book-Harry was currently being treated, as if he was diseased or something.

(Harry didn't have... didn't you tell us?")

"Because I didn't know." Harry shrugged, as if they hadn't already had this conversation.

"Yes, we know that now." Hermione informed him dryly.

"Besides, if he had known, it's a good thing he didn't say anything." Sirius said, lips pursed and eyes hard. "Especially considering the reaction the other students just had." Remus frowned and nudged his arm, snapping him out of his thoughts. Sirius sighed and shook his head, running a hand through his hair. His emotions were getting away from him.

("I'm a what?"... talk to snakes!")

"Anyone can talk to snakes. It's if they talk back." Luna said wisely.

"Huh?" Ron asked, confused. Which was normal when talking to Luna.

"You don't need to be a Parsel just to talk to a snake. You need to be one to understand it talking back. Most snakes have a pretty good grasp of English, especially if they've been around humans for a length of time." Sirius rescued the boy.

"Oh." Ron shrugged.

("I know," said... at the zoo once-)

Harry smirked at the reminder while Dudley scowled.

"Still hilarious." Neville muttered.

(long story- but... Ron repeated faintly.)

"This is the first you were hearing of this?" Neville asked, amused.

"It just never came up." Harry shrugged. He hadn't seen any snakes during his first year, or had reason to speak with one.

"You didn't learn about it, either!" Ron muttered.

("So?" said Harry... very common gift.)

"It's more common then you might think." Sirius interjected, to Bill's agreement.

"People within Britain just don't reveal that they have it, too many people consider it to be a sign of evil, even though it's just a language." Bill shook his head at the idiocy of British wizards, he'd certainly had his eyes opened when he started to work for Gringotts.

"There are probably at least five students at Hogwarts that speak Parsel, but they aren't going to make it known." Charlie suggested. He didn't say that one of his best friends was one of those Parselmouths.

"For good reason." Sirius and Remus both muttered.

(Harry, this is bad."... wrong with everyone?)

"I hate it when people don't tell me what's going on, and instead say something is 'bad' or something like that." Harry muttered. That happened a lot.

(Listen, if I... to attack Justin-")

"He would have been fine, Severus was right there." Minerva assured the students, although she wasn't sure why he hadn't acted before Harry had a chance to talk to the snake.

Severus nodded, he was recovering from the shock when Harry acted.

("Oh, that's what... there- you heard me-")

"I heard hissing." Everybody who had been in the Great Hall that day said at once.

"It was cool." The Twins added.

Harry snorted. "Most people think it's creepy." He deadpanned.

"You have met them, right?" Hermione asked, rolling her eyes. Harry shrugged.

("I heard you speaking... I can speak it?")

"Lack of practice or knowledge about it." Sirius shrugged.

"Magic." Remus said at the same time.

Harry snorted and shook his head. "True." He snorted.

(Ron shook his head... was so terrible.)

"It was just a language." Harry muttered. It wasn't until he was told about the connection to Slytherin that he'd started to think differently, of course, he didn't worry about that anymore.

"Yeah, looking back, the fear around it is stupid." Ron admitted with a sigh. Especially when Harry started using it more and he got used to it.

("D'you want to... off Justin's head?")

"Nothing wrong with that, but fear makes people see things differently then what really happened." Poppy advised, pleased that Justin didn't have to visit her that night.

Harry scowled at the reminder. No matter how fear made people react, he was sick and tired of being blamed for things purely because of that.

(he said. "What does... House is a serpent.")

"Which would explain why outing yourself as a Parsel this year is really not good." Bill groaned. He hadn't even thought of that when Ron and Hermione dragged Harry out of the room. This was not a good year to be a known Parselmouth in Hogwarts, and they weren't even halfway through the year yet.

"Yeah. If it weren't for that, the students' reactions probably wouldn't have been so bad." Harry shook his head.

Sirius grumbled wordlessly. He was wondering if it would even be worth it to send Harry to Hogwarts. He would wait and see what happened in the rest of the books, he supposed.

(Harry's mouth fell open... grandson or something-")

Sirius frowned and bit his lip. That was close to the truth, but not something that was going to be good for Harry this year.

("But I'm not,"... know, you could be.")

"You are." Sirius finally cut in. The rest of the room looked at him in surprise, only Remus and Severus weren't surprised. "Through the Black family. I think it was a Great-great-granddaughter that married into our family." He said thoughtfully, trying to remember the family tree. He'd been forced to memorize it at one point, but a lot happened since then, including Azkaban. Arthur blinked at him, slightly alarmed. His mother was a Black. (It was because of her disownment by Walburga that she didn't teach her sons any of the Black family secrets, she'd wanted nothing to do with any of it.)

"Most families could claim the same I wager, our society is small enough and it's been long enough that most families could probably claim relation to one or all of the founders. Very few of them are close enough to the direct line to inherit, though." Bill cut in. Even the Weasley's, since Arthur's mother was born a Black. She must not have had the Parsel abilities, though, since none of her sons or grandchildren had it.

"Did not know that." Harry muttered. "And that year, being related to Salazar Slytherin was not a good thing." He shook his head.

(Harry lay awake... of Salazar Slytherin?)

"Most families could claim such." Sirius reminded the room.

"Even ours." Bill nodded.

"We've already been over this." Remus sighed. Sirius shrugged, unrepentant.

(He didn't know... Wizarding relatives.)

"Petunia wouldn't have been able to tell you anything about your father's side of the family even if she wanted to." Severus shook his head. "She didn't even share her own family with her own son." He shot her a look of such pure disgust and loathing, that Sirius and Remus shivered. Not even they had been given a look like that from him, and they'd done a lot to deserve it.

"Why should I know anything about a bunch of Freaks?" Petunia sniffed. Although, if she'd known that they were so rich, she would have pretended to like the brat long enough to get her hands on that money.

(Quietly, Harry tried... a snake to do it.)

"That will come with practice." Sirius said reassuringly, even though it was obvious the boy had already gotten better with it, even his younger self was already getting a handle on it.

"Yeah, a lot of it." Harry muttered.

(But I'm in Gryffindor... had Slytherin blood...)

"Blood has nothing to do with the Sorting Hat's decision." Sirius said firmly. "If it were, I never would have been in Gryffindor myself."

"It is all about the students' personality and goals." Minerva finished, giving him a look.

"Then how do families stay in one House?" Draco asked, curious.

Minerva sighed. "Who is a child's most constant influence?" She asked instead of giving an answer.

"Our parents. Close family friends or allies." Draco answered.

"Correct. Usually, most of a child's personality, outlook on life, or goals is shaped by their family and their upbringing. The Houses don't really interact much outside of class, so any close friends you make will be in your House. So, if the child is only around, let's say Slytherin's, their entire life..." Filius trailed off and let Draco finish the sentence.

"They are more likely to also go into Slytherin, because Slytherin's were their main- only- influence during their formative years." Draco said thoughtfully, having never really thought about it.

"That's why most families can say that they've been in one house or another for generations with little exception. Because they've had no other influence to teach them otherwise." Pomona nodded, pleased he understood it so easily. "There are, of course, those families that alternate between one or two houses, but notice it's usually between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Ravenclaw. It's very rare for families to cross between Gryffindor and Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw and Gryffindor."

"Gryffindor and Hufflepuff are more complimentary toward each other, as are Slytherin and Ravenclaw." Draco nodded, he knew that. The teachers nodded, pleased.

"Exactly. That being said, there are always exceptions to the rule." Albus nodded towards Sirius, who grinned, pleased with himself.

(Ah, said a nasty... should have realized.)

"Good luck with that." Several people said at once. Harry rolled his eyes but didn't say anything.

A few of the room had a bad feeling that Harry hadn't had a chance to say anything to Justin, because if they remembered right, Justin was Petrified the day after the disastrous Dueling Club meeting.

(By next morning... to no one else,)

"How is it tricky?" Dudley asked, confused.

"By that age, the Mandrakes are trying to move around, get out of their pots, and generally being a pain to keep in one place. With how dangerous their cries are, and how much we needed the leaves whole for the potions, it was not something I could trust students to do safely." Pomona frowned.

Sirius frowned at her, trying to work through what was wrong with that statement.

(now that it was... and Colin Creevey.)

"Wait." Sirius said suddenly, realizing what was wrong. "Not getting more mature Mandrakes in for Mrs. Norris is understandable, but Colin is still Petrified? Weeks later?" He suddenly realized that nothing at all had been mentioned about Colin being unpetrified.

"The Board refused to pay the money for a Muggleborn first year." Minerva said bitterly.

"Typical." Remus spat, rolling his eyes. "Let's not do anything for the Muggleborn, if it had been a Pureblood attacked, they would have been rushing to unpetrify him." He pointed out. He'd heard enough about this year to know that the Board didn't act until closer to the end of year, and only after a Pureblood student was targeted.

"What about his classes? His parents? Were they even told what was happening, surely they would have worried when Colin failed to write them." Sirius argued, staring at the teachers. He already knew that they hadn't informed Hermione's parents about the Troll or anything else she got up in her first year.

"He was forced to spend most of his summer at the Ministry studying everything he should have learned his first year, otherwise he would have had to repeat the year." Filius said sadly. He'd sent worksheets and references that he wanted Colin to go over for his class, he wasn't sure about the other three, though. He also knew that his parents couldn't have afforded the extra year for Colin, especially with his younger brother starting school two years later. He didn't know what the boys parents were told about the situation, if anything.

"Another question, why couldn't one of you put up the money for the Mandrakes?" Sirius challenged the professors next. He knew that the school paid surprisingly well, especially when you factor in that they received free room and meals for so much of the year. The four of them made additional income from their research or other contributions to their fields. Not a single professor of Hogwarts was hurting for money.

"I tried, I was informed that it would be unnecessary and inappropriate." Pomona shot Dumbledore a glare.

Minerva snorted. "He told me that he worried for what the Heir might do if we undid his work too soon." She informed her friend. The rest of the room stared incredulously.

(Harry fretted about... important to you.")

"He was driving me insane." Hermione deadpanned, glaring at Harry.

"What?" Harry asked, confused.

"You would not sit still, mate. Or stop worrying about it." Ron grimaced. He was having trouble concentrating on the game with Harry squirming and worrying next to him. He hadn't been able to really play like that. (Although his opponents would say otherwise, as far as they were concerned he was playing just as good as usual.)

(So Harry got up... Justin might be.)

"He probably isn't somewhere you could find him." Remus pointed out.

"Yeah, but I had to try." Harry sighed. "I wasn't going to let him think things like that about me without even trying to explain."

Ron and Hermione glanced at each other, knowing that that attitude had gotten Harry in more trouble then anything else. Well, anything that wasn't Voldemort related, of course.

(The castle got... friend into a badger.)

Percy sighed. "That was not amusing, he was terrified." He informed the laughing Twins with a frown.

"How did he even do it?" Harry asked, he hadn't quite gotten that part, but from what he had heard, they weren't actually doing any practical work that day, they had just started that unit, and so were purely working on the theory of it first.

"He had his wand out under the desk and was making the wand movements while mouthing the incantation under his breath." Minerva said, annoyed. "After I expressly told them to keep their wands put away."

Sirius and Remus winced. "Hey, remember that time..." Remus started, and Sirius immediately laughed.

"Oh, the look on his face was pure gold." He sighed dreamily, remembering better, simpler times.

"What?" Harry asked eagerly, hoping that this was going to be a story about his father.

"In our third year we were working on improving the color changing charms for a prank. The regular one wasn't quite enough for what we were doing... never mind." Sirius caught Minerva's eye and continued with the story. "I was doing the same thing that one kid was doing, practicing the new wand movements and mouthing the incantation under my breath, while James was working out the final details of the prank itself. I didn't realize that my wand was pointed straight at him, and it went off." Remus grinned and took up the rest of the explanation.

"He was neon pink, orange, and green for two weeks before we managed to reverse it. None of us were expecting it, and he didn't even notice it happened until he went to move his hair out of his face. Oh, the look on his face..." Remus laughed with the rest of the teens. Minerva shook her head, she remembered those two weeks, she'd questioned James to find out what happened, but he'd refused to tell her. She was fairly sure that she was the only one that knew about it, having been the one to see under the glamours he used to hide it.

(Resisting the urge... the library first.)

"That's a good place to start. If he's not there, though, I doubt you will find him. He could be in the Common Room or anywhere in that very large, almost empty castle." Remus commented.

"Yeah... If only he'd stayed in the Common Room." Harry muttered with a frown. Hermione squeezed his hand.

(A group of the... the Invisibility section.)

"Ironic." Sirius muttered, glancing at Remus, who rolled his eyes.

"Remember when James went through all those books? He was trying to figure out how to create his own Invisibility Cloak when Uncle Charlus took his away from him for the term because of a prank we pulled." Remus smirked.

"Yeah... He threw a fit when he realized none of those books covered how to do it, all he could find was what material they're made out of." Sirius snorted. The teachers shook their heads in fond exasperation.

("So anyway," a... his next victim,)

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?" Bill demanded.

"They think Harry is the Heir of Slytherin?" Charlie asked in disbelief.

"Oh, yeah. This was a fun year." Harry deadpanned.

(it's best if he... the loose, is it?")

"None of this started when Justin told us that." Hermione deadpanned.

"Yeah, well. When all this started, you being Muggleborn was conveniently forgotten, too." Harry pointed out.

"Along with your mother being Muggleborn." Ron said. Harry shrugged. He didn't know his mother, so he didn't include her in these arguments.

"When does anybody ever remember facts about me?" Harry asked instead. They always believed whatever rumors were floating around instead of what was actually known, like the fact he had a Muggleborn best friend and he himself was raised Muggle.

"I don't think I like where this conversation is going." Bill told Charlie casually.

"I don't either." Charlie agreed with his older brother.

("You definitely think... of a Dark wizard.)

"Only in Britain, maybe." Bill muttered, rolling his eyes.

"How is a language dark?" Hermione questioned, extremely confused on that part.

"People in Britain fear it because it runs in bloodlines, can't be taught, and past Speakers had bad reputations in history." Sirius sighed. "Mostly because it can't be dark. My guess is that somebody was jealous they couldn't Speak and started spreading rumors that it was bad." It was probably a member of the Black family who thought similarly to his mother, actually. Part of the reason she hated him was because he could Speak and she couldn't, on top of his rebellious attitude.

(Have you ever... talk to snakes?)

"Yes." Bill and Sirius both said at once.

"James Potter. Paracelsus. There are more." Remus continued, rolling his eyes.

"People only seem to remember the bad ones, though." Harry scowled. He'd already been told about the good ones that nobody ever mentioned when talking about how evil his ability was.

(They called Slytherin... Creevey's been attacked.")

"If I'd known he was saying things like this about you, I never would have approached him for the DA." Hermione said, shaking her head.

"If you went off that, nobody would have been in the DA." Harry said dryly. Hermione made a face, but knew it was true.

"Did they forget that Harry was in the Hospital Wing when Colin was attacked?" Bill asked dryly.

"Yes." All the students who were there that year said at once.

"But that is a good point. Both of them were attacked after a run-in of some kind with Harry." Sirius frowned, thinking. He had a bad feeling about Justin now.

Harry blinked, and glanced at Ginny, who had paled again. She had no idea if it was coincidence, or if Riddle really had targeted them for some reason.

("He always seems... all bad, can he?")

"Thank you!" Harry muttered sarcastically. "Somebody was actually thinking! Sort of." He shrugged. She was too easily swayed by what Ernie was saying, though. Her protests had been token and didn't last long.

"Well, at least she tried." Hermione frowned. That hadn't lasted long, though.

(Ernie lowered his... by You-Know-Who.)

Everybody frowned, not liking where this was going.

"What are they getting at?" Remus asked slowly. "Is he trying to insinuate that you're evil just because you survived something?" Harry scowled and didn't answer.

(I mean to say... a curse like that.")

"What is this kid being taught?" Sirius asked incredulously. "Nobody can survive that curse, that's what makes Harry's survival a mystery. It has nothing to do with what kind of magic you practice or how strong you are magically! And is he forgetting the fact that Harry was barely a year old at the time? He could barely string two words together!" He'd stood up and was pacing as he ranted about how stupid this Ernie kid was.

"I've heard some theories over the years, but this..." Moody shook his head, blinking his eye rapidly.

"It's something Lily did." Remus shrugged. "I don't know what exactly it was, but she found it in the Potter family library. I think she shared it with Frank and Alice, too." He glanced at Neville, who swallowed.

"Ah, but my mother is Muggleborn and a woman at that, and therefore incapable of doing anything that could possibly stop a powerful wizard like Voldemort." Harry said pointedly. He'd heard it often enough from the Purebloods, while the wizarding communities were far more advanced in how they saw women (one of the few things that they were ahead on), women were still seen as weaker then men. Physically and magically, it might even be true. Women's magical cores were smaller then the men's', but that just meant they had more control over their magic. And they were vicious with their spells.

Just look at Hermione and Ginny!

Besides, he could tell that was what they thought of it in the way they constantly talked about his dad, ignored that his mother had ever existed, and credited his survival with something that he must have done, despite the fact he was, as Sirius said, a one year old baby who could barely string two words together.

"That is true. Pureblood prejudices at their finest." Sirius muttered.

(He dropped his voice... Potter's been hiding?")

"Merlin save me from twelve year old idiocy." Severus groaned, letting his head drop back against the couch he was on.

"Could this kid be any more of an idiot?" Sirius growled, not at all happy with this.

"Does this kid prescribe to the idea that you have to be born evil?" Remus asked, shaking his head in disbelief. He'd taught Ernie for a year, he had not seen this kind of prejudice in him then.

"More or less." Harry rolled his eyes. He was sure he'd fixed most of that when he taught Ernie in fifth year.

"He thought you were a Dark Lord? At a year old, you were a Dark Lord." Hermione said, staring at Harry in shock. Harry nodded.

"Unbelievable." Minerva muttered. She'd known that the other students ostracized Harry after he was outed as a Parselmouth, but she had no idea that these were the rumors students were spreading about him.

(Harry couldn't take anymore.)

"Harry, you need to learn how to take it." Hermione groaned. "This- is it right that they talk about you like this? No. But you have to learn how to walk away from it! This is what got you this." She grabbed Harry's hand and held it up so he could clearly see his scars, not letting him protest. "You need to learn to control yourself."

"She would have done this, anyway. Even if I sat back and said nothing." Harry wrenched his hand away from her.

"Maybe. But I doubt it would have been as bad." She said, shaking his head. His temper always chose the worst times to rear it's head, and he always leaped without looking, especially to defend himself. Which was great! With all the stuff he went through, it was great that he defended himself and didn't just sit back to take it! But if he would stop and think more often!

(Clearing his throat... of Ernie's face.)

"Yeah, you better be afraid." Sirius muttered. "If my pup wasn't so nice, you would have been hexed to oblivion." That's what he would have done if he came across people talking about him like that.

Remus sighed. "Siri, pull it back." He said carefully, and glanced at Poppy, who nodded and took the Calming Draught from Severus before measuring out half of it. She'd determined, after his previous reactions to him and his current underweight body, that he should be safe with a half-dose. "Here." He pressed the cup into his hand and made sure he drank it. Showing the Black tendency towards malicious cruelty was not a good thing right now, not with the kids, and not with the years he spent trying to get away from that.

Severus frowned, pulling out his journal and started to review his theory on the potion he wanted to make for after exposure to Dementors.

("Hello," said Harry... Finch-Fletchley.")

"Oh, probably not the best thing to lead with, pup." Sirius winced, remembering a few times one of the Marauder's had gone looking for somebody that had wronged them in some way. The friends they were asking always, without fail, got defensive and didn't say anything.

Harry sighed. "Maybe." He shook his head. "I don't think anything I could have said would have been 'right', though."

"Most likely not, not with that conversation you just interrupted." Remus agreed.

(The Hufflepuffs' worst... fearfully at Ernie.)

"Sheep." Moody muttered, shaking his head.

"I believe my students need a lesson on loyalty and not jumping to conclusions." Pomona said, pursing her lips. She'd been silent through this conversation, but it was getting harder and harder to maintain her silence. She realized that they were twelve and twelve year olds liked to over dramatize things, but still. This was ridiculous.

Minerva winced at the blank expression on her usually cheerful best friends face.

("What do you... a quavering voice.)

"I'm going to set my beastie on him." Harry deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

("I wanted to tell... saw what happened.")

"You think you saw what happened." Percy corrected. Even he'd realized quickly what really happened, and he was ashamed to admit that he had not tried to quell rumors.

"Alright, we get it! The kids were being idiots. Can we just keep reading?" Neville asked, annoyed with them repeating the same thing over and over again.

("Then you noticed... snake toward Justin.")

"That's not remotely what happened. Idiot." Severus muttered. Neville shot him an annoyed glare, but didn't say anything.

"Now I know why you had him do those exercises." Hermione muttered. "Where did you learn them, anyway?"

"Moody." Harry said. "He said that they were for Auror's, so that they could accurately report what happened afterward without letting fear or adrenaline cloud their judgement." Moody nodded in approval.

("I didn't chase it... even touch him!")

"Are these kids blind? It was Lockhart that made the snake angry enough to attack the students, the snake calmed down after Harry spoke to it!" Arabella exclaimed in disbelief over what they were hearing.

"Fear." Sirius said simply, scowling briefly before the potion kicked in again. Neville cleared his throat loudly.

("It was a very... as anyone's, so-")

"You have got to be joking." Remus muttered, but didn't take it any further at Neville's glare.

"Maybe I should have forced a biology book on them in fifth year." Hermione muttered. She'd already forced one on Draco Malfoy, she'd even caught him reading it during the break.

("I don't care what... said Ernie swiftly.)

"That's not hard to do." Most of the magicals said darkly, glaring at the Muggles in question. Dudley winced while his younger self looked at the wizards warily.

"At least one rumor about me was actually correct." Harry shrugged. Too bad it was one that was not at all helpful during this school-year.

("It's not possible... to see you try it.")

"Now that would have been interesting to see." Neville smirked, just thinking about somebody like Ernie living with the Dursleys. Especially with how magic hating they were and how pureblooded Ernie was.

"I don't know who I would feel more sorry for. Ernie or the Dursleys." Ron said, tilting his head to the side.

"You're joking, right?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. You're right. Ernie would be getting the worse end of the deal." Ron agreed after a moment.

(He turned on his... backward onto the floor.)

"What the-" Most of the people said, confused and concerned.

"It's alright." Harry waved off their worry with a small smile. Then he frowned, remembering this conversation.

"You need to watch where you're going more." Moody frowned. This wasn't the first time Harry had walked into something (or someone) because he was in too much of a mood to bother. "I don't care what mood you're in, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" He barked, glaring darkly.

Harry winced, but agreed with him. Hopefully Moody's next training session didn't turn into one large situational awareness lesson.

("Oh, hello, Hagrid," Harry said, looking up.)

"Oh." Remus laughed a bit in relief while Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Were you alright?" He asked Harry, concerned.

"I was fine." Harry waved off.

(Hagrid's face was... massive, gloved hands.)

Ginny paled rapidly at hearing about the rooster.

"Ginny? Are you alright? You haven't-" Charlie said, concerned. She'd been acting strange this entire book. One moment she would be laughing at something with the rest of them, the next she was paler then the Hogwarts Ghosts.

"I'm fine." She managed to dredge up a smile for him, while the Twins gathered her between them and kept her there. Charlie clearly didn't believe her, but he let it go for now, instead sitting on her feet.

("All righ', Harry?"... doing in here?")

"Aside from the Great Hall, we don't see Hagrid in the castle much." Harry shrugged. And, of course, that one time when he was in the library looking up dragons.

"I'm the Groundskeeper, my job is outside. Filch is in charge o' the inside of the castle." Hagrid shrugged.

(Hagrid held up... the hen coop.")

"A charm like that isn't already in place?" Remus asked, surprised.

"It were never a problem." Hagrid admitted. He'd just thought that there was a new predator in the area, so he was going to put up wards and keep an eye out. It wasn't until Dumbledore told him later that it was the Heir killing the roosters that he knew otherwise.

"Really? In all the time you've been the groundskeeper, there was never a problem with losing chickens?" Sirius blinked.

Albus answered this time. "There was the occasional loss from a fox, but the bird was replaced, the fencing was checked, and there was no more issue." He explained. Two dead in one term, and not eaten, was strange.

"If it was foxes or a bugbear, why do you have a body? Wouldn't they have eaten it?" Neville asked, confused. Hagrid sighed and nodded. Charlie was the only one to notice just how pale his sister was at that moment.

(He peered more... all hot an' bothered-")

Hagrid huffed. "Well no wonder, with wha' he'd just heard." He grumbled. He'd known there was something wrong, but he hadn't known what happened in the Dueling Club or about the rest of the school turning on Harry.

Harry shrugged.

(Harry couldn't bring... saying about him.)

"Don't blame you." Most of the group said at the same time, making Harry blink in surprise.

("It's nothing," he... up my books.")

"We didn't have Transfiguration next." Hermione blinked, remembering their schedule that year. "We had Charms."

"Oh." Harry blinked. "I don't think I was really thinking right then." He admitted after a moment.

"I don't blame you, not after what you just overheard in the library." Ron sighed.

(He walked off... said about him.)

"Harry, don't listen to that idiot." Hermione said, looking at him. "He has no clue what he's talking about."

Harry smiled slightly. "I know. I got over it." He tried to be reassuring, but Hermione knew him too well.

("Justin's been waiting... a loose windowpane.)

"No... there are wards on the windows to prevent that." Minerva said slowly. She hadn't noticed this at the time... but then again, with all the students milling about the area would have been warmed up by body heat.

"It was probably from Nick." Filius said quietly. He was a ghost, after all. They released a natural chill, for him to have been attacked like that... They couldn't think of a single tale of another ghost being attacked and 'killed' to compare this to.

(He was halfway... stomach had dissolved.)

"Oh, no. This isn't good. Not good." Sirius muttered in dread. "Please don't say it's another attack." He almost begged. The fact that it was Harry stumbling across this was only going to make things worse for him.

"Sorry, Siri." Harry grimaced. He wished he could be telling Sirius otherwise, but he couldn't.

"It's Justin, isn't it?" Dudley asked. Most of the chapter after the duel was about him, so it was only fitting. The look on the Trio's face said it all.

"That's even worse!" Bill moaned.

(Justin Finch-Fletchley... rigid and cold,)

"A second attack." Remus said grimly.

"This must have happened while Harry was in the library... or at least after classes started depending on which route Harry took to the library." Bill analyzed.

"He wouldn't have heard anything this time, he was somewhere else and busy with something else." Charlie agreed with why Harry hadn't heard the snake or the one controlling it this time.

"That narrows down the suspect pool." Dudley offered. "Whoever wasn't in class or confirmed to have been in the Hospital Wing." He shrugged.

"Unfortunately right now that includes Harry." Neville reminded him. Dudley frowned. It still narrowed down who the suspect was. Now instead of the entire school, it was whoever wasn't in class during that time, which was probably less then half of the school.

"That is how we crossed most of the students off our list. Unfortunately, many of us thought we already knew who it was." Minerva sighed, revealing that even the professors thought Harry was the Heir. Pomona bit her lip and looked away, guilty.

(a look of shock... Harry had ever seen.)

"Which is saying something, right pup?" Sirius tried to smile, but it just came out as a pained grimace.

"Tell me about it." Harry muttered. Compared to a face sticking out of the back of somebodies head, this one really took the cake, though.

(It was Nearly Headless Nick,)

The room was shocked silent, even the Dursley's were in too much shock to be sneering or vindictive.

(no longer pearly-white... identical to Justin's.)

"The Basilisk gaze can even hurt ghosts?" Charlie breathed in disbelief.

"Yup." The Trio confirmed.

"You know, people often joke about deadly glares, this really takes it." Dudley muttered, scared.

"Justin is lucky Nick was there, or we would have had a death." Sirius said grimly. He'd already figured out that the victims had only seen it's reflection so far.

The teachers stopped murmuring amongst themselves and stared at him in shock. They hadn't even considered that.

(Harry got to his... a line of spiders)

Sirius narrowed his eyes at that, but didn't say anything about it.

He had a bad feeling about the spiders.

(scuttling as fast... had been there.)

"That's the smart thing to do." Severus instructed. "Enough people already suspect you."

"Then he's really not going to do it." Ron muttered under his breath.

(But he couldn't... He had to get help...)

"Potter..." Severus groaned. "Decide between Slytherin or Gryffindor, and stop going back and forth." He glared. Harry's back-and-forth was honestly giving him a headache.

Hermione and Ron snorted. "Better get used to it." Hermione advised the Potions Master.

(Would anyone believe... came shooting out.)

"Aw, man! Can this get any worse?" Sirius groaned. Peeves was going to raise the alarm, alright, in a way that would make everything so much worse for Harry.

"Is that really a question?" Harry asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Peeves is a menace." Minerva deadpanned. It would probably be repeated many, many times over the course of these books.

("Why, it's potty... Nearly Headless Nick.)

"This could either be really good, or really bad." Remus winced.

"He's bound to Hogwarts, so he has to alert people about this, the only question is how much chaos he's going to cause in the process." Poppy explained to the younger crowd's confusion.

"Knowing Peeves, as much as possible." Charlie grumbled.

(He flipped the right... YOUR LIVES! ATTAAAACK!")

"That's going to get attention." Bill said blankly.

"Oh, it did." Minerva scowled. She'd told her students to stay in their seats, instead they all ran out in the hallway like a bunch of idiots.

(Crash- crash- crash... people flooded out.)

"What the- Why are you letting them outside? They could be walking right into spellfire!" Moody burst out.

Minerva and Filius flushed. "I didn't even think of it." Filius said, embarrassed.

"I told them to stay in their seats." Minerva scowled.

"Then you should have stuck the little cretins to their seats." Severus drawled, unimpressed.

(For several long... Nearly Headless Nick.)

Everybody who had ever done that winced.

"Somebody better get control of this, or somebody is going to get hurt." Poppy noted.

Moody growled. "Everybody could have been killed." He glared at the teachers. If there had been an attacker out there, or even the Basilisk, they would have been. And they all just ran out in the hall like idiots.

"We should have emergency drills." Pomona sighed.

(Harry found himself... and-white striped hair.)

Despite the situation, a few people snorted.

"The hair was going to have to go away on its own, as a reminder to his friend to be more careful. Having different colored hair doesn't hurt anybody." Minerva sniffed.

"It only stayed like that for a week, I think?" Hermione questioned, trying to think back. Minerva nodded that she was correct.

(She used her wand... on the scene.)

"How did he know?" Bill asked, surprised. "He was just in the library!"

"Peeves." Everyone who'd been at Hogwarts that day said at once. "He made sure the entire school knew all about it." Neville continued. "He even came through the Common Rooms."

"Ok... But then why did that Ernie kid come running up there?" Charlie asked.

"No clue." Ron shrugged. "Maybe he was suspicious because Harry had come looking for Justin just before this happened?" He tried to reason.

("Caught in the act!"... dramatically at Harry.)

"Twelve year olds." Severus muttered again, rolling his eyes. This was why he loved summer so much, it was finally away from teenage drama.

"Did it not occur to this kid that Harry had just been with him? There was no time for him to attack anybody, and Harry thought Justin was in his Common Room, so he wouldn't have had reason to search him out in that hallway." Arthur sighed.

("That will do... McGonagall sharply.)

"She didn't stand up for you." Remus said at once.

"What?" Harry and Minerva both asked.

"She didn't stand up for you, didn't tell him that 'of course you didn't do it', she just told him to be quiet." Sirius breathed hard in an effort to not go off on her. In an effort to keep him seated, Harry clamped down on his arm before putting it around his shoulder.

Minerva blinked at him, eyes wide in horror at the realization, especially considering what came next.

(Peeves was bobbing... broke into song:)

"Not good." Most of the group groaned.

"His songs are never good, not only the bad timing, but the content." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"A musician Peeves is not." Remus agreed.

("Oh, Potter, you... it's good fun-")

"Well that's not going to help." Neville deadpanned. He'd wondered where that particular tune came from, Peeves kept it in following years, after all.

"When does Peeves ever help?" Most of the wizards asked him.

"When there's a prank." Sirius shrugged, eyes burning with fury for how Harry was being targeted.

("That's enough, Peeves!"... Nearly Headless Nick.)

"Yeah, how do you get a ghost somewhere you need to go?" Sirius asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Surprisingly easily." Minerva answered. It had only taken a few minutes of thought.

(In the end... Nick up the stairs.)

"Huh... that'll work." Sirius nodded, not loosening his grip on Harry despite it. He was too angry to bother.

"You still never said anything about Harry's innocence or Ernie's accusations." Remus frowned.

"He accused Harry right in front of you, and you said and did nothing." Filius stared his colleague down, noting how ashamed she looked. Pomona looked just as ashamed, she hadn't done anything to stop it, either. Filius himself knew that he hadn't bothered to speak with any of the students about it, while Severus honestly hadn't cared then.

(This Ernie did... Potter," she said.)

"Whoa, where are you taking him? And why are you not saying anything about this?" Sirius asked, alarmed.

Minerva sighed. "The Headmaster's office." She said quietly.

"Why?" Sirius demanded. "Don't tell me you thought he was guilty!" He finally burst, shooting to his feet and glaring.

"I didn't know what to think, Mr. Potter was the one to find both Justin and Mrs. Norris, and then he was exposed as a Parselmouth." Minerva tried to defend herself.

"Which you know full well is not evil or a mark of evil!" Remus shot at her, glaring. As James Potter's godmother, she knew about his abilities.

She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but finally looked away in shame. Harry blinked at the two men in surprise, still not used to being defended. A few days in this room wasn't going to change that.

("Professor," said... said curtly.)

"Wrong answer." Sirius growled. She could have, and should have, defended Harry in front of the other students at least, she should have tried to-

"Sirius, this whole situation was handled wrong." Poppy cut off his thoughts, having an idea of what he was thinking. "We know that now, that's part of why we're here, isn't it? To see our mistakes so we can make sure they don't happen again?" She gestured to the younger children in the room and the lists and letters that her colleagues were writing.

She'd wondered why it was them and not their own younger selves that were here, but had a feeling that it was because they could see hindsight, they knew how they were thinking at the time, they knew the mistakes they made better then their younger selves would just by reading about it.

(They marched in... drop!" she said.)

Most of the people who knew about his obsession with lemon drops grimaced or rolled their eyes.

"Your passwords are the easiest thing to guess." Draco said, rolling his eyes. All you had to do was go through a list of candy until the gargoyle moved.

"Actually..." Hermione said, frowning. "It's ingenious. A lot of his passwords are Muggle candy, which none of the Purebloods would ever guess." Only the Muggleborn or Muggle-aware half-bloods could guess it, because only they knew the names of Muggle candy.

Albus' eyes twinkled.

(This was evidently... behind them.)

"That's not ominous at all."

"That doesn't sound good at all."

"I swear, if you accuse my godson..." Sirius warned the headmaster.

(They rose upward... Dumbledore lived.)

"The fact that you weren't taken to the Headmasters office before this is frankly amazing." Hermione commented.

Harry snorted. "I'm better at not getting caught then they are." He gave the Twins a pointed look.

"Hey!" They protested.

"Let's keep reading." Remus said, tense. He wanted to know what Albus Dumbledore had to say. If that old man even thought of accusing Harry for any of this...

"Two more chapters, and then we can break for lunch." Molly announced as Filius made sure the charm was working.

Chapter twelve: the Polyjuice Potion