Izuku stared up at his dull grey ceiling of his room while his fan spun slowly in a futile attempt to keep the air from getting stale. All it did was serve to make his already cool room all that much colder, while sapping any heat his blankets once held at an alarming rate. In many ways, that fan was just like his pills: they kept him cool, still, and, "Apparently they make me a poetic fucktard."
Half disgusted with himself, he remained in bed, hating the color grey for a wide variety of reasons. It felt like he hadn't seen a true color untouched from grey's corrupting grasp. Maybe a few flashes, like when he spoke to Katsuki yesterday. No amount of grey could get rid of the frustration in Katsuki's red eyes. And he saw it with Eula too, just a few flashes of her rich blue colors before she faded to grey along with the rest of his world.
Normally he could deal with it.
Normally he was just frustrated by it.
It was just his lot in life.
But what Katsuki said yesterday stuck in his mind.
He still wanted to be a hero.
He wanted to be more than some chained rabid dog that was just waiting for the order to attack.
Izuku touched the collar that sat around his neck and sighed. He hadn't used his quirk in years. He simply hadn't been allowed to. But now, he wanted to have that taste of freedom. To be given a chance to show that he could control his quirk, that he didn't have to level a building by accident.
"All Might," he muttered, staring up at the ceiling again just as his alarm began to flare, marking an end to his dreamless, sleepless night. "I need to talk to All Might."
All Might said that he had the potential to be a great hero at one point. Was that still true?
Would All Might even help him?
Maybe if he followed the chain of command, he'd find out what general or military person was in charge of him, and he'd be able to plead his case. Problem was, he didn't even know where to start. Maybe his doctor or the guys at the lab? He sighed and ran a finger through his hair. It was so frustrating, wanting to walk a path but not knowing where he could even step first.
With his feet pressed onto the cold, hard wooden floor of his apartment, Izuku began this daily routine of feeling like a caged animal.
Before he knew it, he was showered, dressed and ready to take on the day. The only thing that was truly missing were his pills. Minutes passed as he stared at those pills, the mixture of suppressors and regulators that felt like they could make a knife wound to the gut feel like little more than a simple brush. Only, instead of physical pain, they completely smothered his mind.
One day.
Just one day for him to be him.
He opened his water bottle and took a sip.
Just one day.
If it was too much, he could just take his pills.
Izuku let out a breath and stared at himself in the mirror for a few seconds, and then smiled. An actual smile that felt real, unlike the thousand fake ones he had forced himself to do just to make sure he could in fact smile.
XXXX
The sun punched through the thick, overcast clouds by the time he stepped out onto the main street that made up most of his walk to the train station. There were so many people that he nearly got lost in the endless tides that seemed to go every direction at once. He could feel a bit of claustrophobia sneaking its way into his thoughts. There were just so many people.
But, at the same time, it was a relief to know that people didn't avoid him.
For some reason, he thought they did. He thought that the collar strapped to his neck and the dull attitude he had towards everyone pushed them away.
Or at least everyone but Eula.
Eula.
Wasn't this about where they'd meet up? He peered over the crowd, thankful for the fact that he was tall enough to peer over much of it. Maybe that was a side effect of his quirk? It seemed likely; his mother and father weren't all that tall.
He didn't so much spot her as much as he simply took her in. Part of him was aware that Eula was beautiful, but he'd never been able to truly focus on those details. Seeing her now, and actually being able to appreciate her, already made the risk of not taking his pills worth it.
Leaning against a pole, Eula looked like she was ready for a photoshoot. A single strand of her short, light blue hair held her attention while she gave a soft pout. Unlike most of the other students, Eula didn't look like she was dressed for winter. Instead, she looked ready for spring or even summer, with her skirt barely going up to her mid-thigh, leaving an inch long gap between her skirt and her dark blue leggings.
This was who he had been walking to school with everyday?
Why?
Izuku shook his head and pressed forward. If he wanted to know, he could actually ask Eula now. She had to have a reason if she was friends with a drugged-up zombie, after all.
Still, he found himself smiling as he approached and even raised his hand towards her. "Yo, Eula—"
"Gah!"
She jumped.
That was not the reaction he was expecting.
"What the?" Eula placed her hand onto her chest and let out a breath as she looked up at him, her blue eyes were wide in shock. She stared at him for a few moments as her cheeks began to turn a slight pink and a smile pulled on her cheeks. "Izuku? You? Drugs? Personality?"
"Uhh," He scratched the back of his head and looked away from her. Was he any good at lying? "I got given some new pills; they let me be me, without risking my quirk."
"Really?" she asked with wide eyes and an even wider smile on her face. She skipped closer to him and grabbed his hand. "You're not joking, right?"
"No." he wasn't joking, but he was lying. "I'm me right now."
Her hands were cold, but also really soft.
"That's great!" She looked down, a massive smile on her face as she still held onto one of his hands with both of hers. "That's really really great, you know. I've been waiting to meet the real you for a long time."
What the heck was he supposed to say to that? What was he supposed to say to any of this? There was a girl that was smiling so much she looked like she might cry, and he really didn't know what he did to deserve that kind of a treatment.
"Umm, say, Eula, not to ruin the moment or anything, but, why have you been so friendly to me?" He scratched his cheek and became very aware of the crowd of people looking at them. "I mean, I've been more or less an unemotional robot since I met you."
"Because I like you," She said with a smile on her face. She dropped his hand and turned around, both hands behind her back she bounced on the balls of her feet.
"Uhh." Crap, what the hell did that mean? "Like, friends, or something more?"
"Friends, mostly." She turned and smiled up at him, her blue eyes twinkling with a mixture of joy and mirth, "But," she grabbed his hand again, lifting it up before dropping it. "I'm pretty okay with becoming something more."
"Oh," Izuku blinked. Less than an hour after quitting his pills and he already had a girl saying that she at the very least liked him enough to say she was okay with becoming more than friends. Which was pretty much an absolute win on several levels. "I'm going to be perfectly honest, I have no idea what to do with that information."
"Don't worry too much about it." Eula glanced over her shoulder towards the train track. "Just do your best to be yourself today, I really want to know what you being you is like, now come on, we don't want to be late do we?"
"Nope!"
To say he followed Eula like a lovesick puppy would be an insult to every single flee-bitten hound the world over.
The only problem was that he didn't know how to act like himself.
But, for whatever reason, Eula made it easy on him. He could just talk to her. He could express himself, he could engage in the conversation, he could learn about her.
"So yeah," Eula hummed as they sat on the train that was filled with various other students, many of which were already looking at them, or more specifically him. Eula held out her hand and conjured a stout dagger made of ice, "for some reason, my quirk is called Maiden of ice, and I can more or less just make stuff out of ice, and snow, but snow is less useful."
"Wow. Couldn't you have been a hero with a quirk like that?" Izuku asked, staring at the beautiful sculpture for a few moments before it shattered into little more than a cool mist. "I mean, assuming you wanted to be a hero."
"Hmm." Eula sat back and placed her hands on her knees as she wiggled them slightly. "Well, for me it isn't that simple. A long time ago, my family, the Himura, used to have a lot of ice-based heroes, then for whatever reason we started to decline." She glanced up and frowned at the ceiling of the train. "My dad's quirkless you see, so he couldn't carry on the Ice hero legacy, and my Aunt Rei, her quirk was strong, but, because of her poor constitution, she couldn't be a hero either."
"That sounds pretty rough." Izuku scratched his cheek and kept his eyes on Eula. Despite the apparently sad story, she was still wearing a smile on her face.
She gave him a great big smile and nodded. "It was, but it got worse." She held up her finger and nodded to herself. "You see, my grandpa agreed to sell my aunt into a quirk marriage. My dad was so mad that he ran away and joined the military, then he met my mom, and apparently Ice quirks skipped him, because here I am."
"As for the whole hero thing, he said that I could, but like, in the way that made me feel like if I did, he'd be really disappointed in me." Eula shrugged and kicked her legs again. "Though, I don't really regret not trying for U.A. and stuff, after all I got to meet—"
"MASTER!" A deep voice bellowed as the ground began to shake. "WHERE IS MY MASTER!"
A scream tore through the train as the image from outside shifted to reveal the arm of an impossibly large man slamming down into the train. The train buckled, and Izuku barely managed to see the front of the train rapidly approaching like they were an aluminium can being crushed for recycling.
XXXX
It was cold.
Far too cold.
BEEEEEEEEEP
BEEEEEEEEEP
BEEEEEEEEEP
The beeping of his collar and a pain coursing through his entire side greeted Izuku as he pressed himself off the cold, slick ground. There was barely any light, but he could make out the horrific scene before him.
Blood covered much of the ground, and the lifeless corpses of several of his classmates were stuck to the shell of the icy cocoon he found himself in. He could hear screaming from well beyond the train. He could still feel the destruction coming from that massive creature, and he could feel his head ringing as his collar continued to screech at him.
"Izu…ku."
He turned slowly, nearly slipping as he saw Eula pinned to the seat by a massive rod of metal. There was a lot of blood.
So much blood.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
His heart rate quickened as he stared at her. She was hurt. She was hurt so bad.
She held out her hand for him, a soft smile on her lips and he reached for her.
Before their fingers touched, her arm went limp.
Death.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Anger rushed through him.
He grabbed the collar around his neck and stared towards the sounds of battle as the creature that did this was still out there.
And he was going to make them pay.
The pounding of his heart sounded like a war drum as he reached deep into his mind and found that mental switch for his quirk.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—
He pulled the collar and let out a roar.
That was promptly silenced by the collar exploding, taking his head along with it.