Chapter 44: Something Ephemeral, Something Forced
Not gonna lie, I had to rewrite this chapter a few times before I was at least basically satisfied with what I wanted out of it. I suppose that's the one issue of planning out the big plot points beforehand, since it kind of leaves you unsure of how to make the connective literature tissue between scenes. It's not easy trying to make yourself to write transitory stuff that still feels like it's up to your standards.
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It only took less than a week for things to return to normal for the students of the Officer's Academy. Now that the excitement of the Battle of the Eagle and Lion had passed and most of the injured students had been healed up with the help of ideal resting conditions and regular healing magic treatments, the chaos of the battlefield was almost like a kind of distant memory. Memories were internalized, wounds were mended, and there was no real time to dwell on what happened due to being thrown right back into the world of academia and courtly expectations. Well, for the most part on the part of the student body, really.
Edelgard von Hresvelg couldn't help but dwell on things a little bit, in spite of herself. She had fought to the best of her ability at Gronder Field, alongside all the Adrestian nobility that she expected to lead into battle herself when the time came. Logically thinking, the whole ordeal with the Battle of the Eagle and Lion was successful, in spite of not actually winning glory for the Black Eagles House. After all, it was a great opportunity to see how her allies had grown in strength over the past few months. Now she had a better idea of how capable they would be when they inevitably fought for her when the new war began. Truly, it was almost a spectacle to witness Dorothea's strong yet graceful movements as a battle-mage on the battlefield, or Petra's constant flurry of sword slashes against her opponents, or even the frenzied state that Bernadetta had entered towards the end the battle for some reason. In that last case, it might've been the power of the Crest in her blood taking over. Whatever the case was, the Battle of the Eagle and Lion was an important milestone in gauging the progress of her allies.
It still kind of sucked that they didn't actually win, though. Winning some real prestige in the meantime would've been nice, but the Golden Deer just had to take the honor instead. Edelgard would continue to keep an eye on Claude von Reigan and Professor Byleth, those two were proving themselves to be ascending in terms of power quite rapidly. If she could get the both of them on her side, or at least remove them from the playing board early if they did end up coming to blows, that would be preferable. But that was all still a work on progress. After all, Hubert had yet to find any real kind of leverage against Claude, and Professor Byleth continued to be his odd, completely unflappable self. Those facts made it hard to work around their presences.
"What's on your mind, Edie?" a melodic voice asked to Edelgard's left side.
Beside her, Dorothea had decided to join Edelgard for some lunch in the Dining Hall. Although now that Dorothea had broken her out of her internal musings, Edelgard realized that she was being a terrible conversationalist with her friend right beside her. She was too much into her own thoughts to speak aloud about anything.
"I can always tell when you're thinking a lot about something, so dish it," Dorothea then prodded, her facial expression still as friendly as ever.
Edelgard let out a small sight. Dorothea could always tell when something was on her mind. It wouldn't do to hide her inner thoughts around her. "Just been thinking about the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, and how that all turned out. As they say, all the roads left untaken…"
"There's no use thinking about it any more than you have, my Lady," mused Dorothea. "What happened, happened. All we can do now is accept it and move on."
"I know, I know," Edelgard said. "But still, as House Leader, I can't help but think about what I could have done differently to secure us a victory."
"Would it at least help to know that we all did our best?" Dorthea offered.
"Oh, don't worry, I know you all did. If anything, I just take the blame for not devising a better battle strategy alongside Hubert," explained Edelgard.
"Well, you can't account for every single little thing out there, no matter when or where," advised Dorothea. "Sometimes, we just need to let life take us where it goes… with a couple of helping nudges on our parts along the way, admittedly."
Edelgard frowned. That wasn't what she wanted to hear. She needed to believe that she could at least have some direct control over the way things went. Otherwise, that would make her question the fundamental basis of all of her decisions and plans so far, which was something she could not under any circumstances afford to do. The very idea of none of her actions mattering in the face of a chaotic and random world was just unpleasant at the very best, and downright nauseating at the worst.
She swallowed heavily before responding to Dorothea. "While taking things in life so blithely seems nice, you know I can't just think that way. Think of my position, Dorothea."
At that, Dorothea sighed. "I know… but it wouldn't hurt to think like a normal girl every now and then, wouldn't it?"
"I'll have time for that once I inherit the title of Adrestian Empress," Edelgard responded a little too quickly in a cold tone. It was abundantly clear that it was just a prepared response to the notion of entertaining such thoughts.
Despite the topic being a clear issue for Edelgard, Dorothea chose not to push it, if just for the sake of her friend at the moment. Instead, all she had to say to that was, "Just don't forget that it's going to be a woman wearing the crown at the end of the day, all lands and titles aside. It'll still be you, despite everything."
Edelgard allowed herself a small smile at that sentiment. It was at least a warm, if fleeting, platitude. "I'll do my best to keep that in mind, Dorothea."
That got Edelgard a small tap on the shoulder by the back of Dorothea's hand. "See, that's the spirit!" the former diva glowed at the Adrestian heiress.
By the time their conversation had ended, Dorothea and Edelgard had managed to walk to the set of doors on the side of the Dining Hall closest relative to the classrooms of the Officer's Academy. As they opened the wooden doors, their ears were immediately flooded with the sounds of a busy period for the dining hall staff, with a line of students waiting for their mid-day meals while the chefs behind the long wooden serving counter were preparing plates of delicious foodstuffs for the noble students that were providing their pay wages to enjoy. The scent of freshly baked bread mixed and mingled together with the smells of simmering spicy sauces and the bouquet of broiled beef, creating an aroma that immediately recalled to mind one simple word: home.
Delicious cooking was the norm for the children of nobility, or at least people who lived noble and wealth-adjacent lives like Dorothea. Because of that sense of normalcy, any sense of tension was removed from Edelgard and Dorothea's bodies. The sense of concern that had permeated their beings only moments before had entirely been washed away by the sense of returning to things known to their lives, rather than facing anything resembling future uncertainty.
"So, what're you in the mood for?" Dorothea asked, continuing her stroll over to the back of the serving line.
Edelgard did the same at her friend's side. "I'm not sure," she thought out loud. "Perhaps a vegetable pasta salad?"
"I think you'd be lucky if there were still any servings of that left," observed Dorothea, looking at the ever-lengthening line of students waiting to be served.
"How about you?" Edelgard then asked.
"Hmmmm," hummed Dorothea, thinking. "Maybe the vegetable stir-fry? I could stand to lose a bit of weight, so that should help."
"You look fine just the way you are," Edelgard lightly huffed.
At that, Dorothea shot a playful wink at the Adrestian heiress. "Oh? Have you been keeping tabs on my body?"
Edelgard decided to play it cool. "Dorothea, I think you would have a hard time finding any man or woman here who hasn't. Aside from Professor Manuela, at least. I'm sure she's well-acquainted with your measurements by now, with you being her understudy."
"Hah! I'd hardly call myself her understudy," Dorothea playfully scoffed. "Just because we were both performing at the same place at the same time doesn't imply that she selected me as an understudy."
"What else would you be then?" asked Edelgard.
"We have a term for that in opera: covering. Asking if I was her cover would be the better question," explained the former Mittlefrank diva.
Edelgard then asked, "Well? Were you her cover or not?"
Dorothea raised a playful slender finger up to her lips. "And what, give away all the industry secrets just like that? You'd have to get me dinner first before I spill any inner-workings of the opera world."
"Or I could just ask someone else with refined tastes, like Ferdinand," replied Edelgard, obviously joking.
On her part, Dorothea put on an exaggeratedly shocked and dismayed look. "To chose me over him? I would tell you anything you want to hear if you'd only stay with me!"
The statement hung in the air briefly in the air between the two friends, before the two of them descended into a brief fit of low giggling. It was a small joke shared between friends, only known to themselves. A moment small and ephemeral, so preciously fragile that if it was spoken any louder, it would fly away and vanish into the vast, senseless air churning around them in a whirling audio froth.
After that short moment of laughter, Edelgard and Dorothea settled down into the warm atmosphere that had been generated between the two. It still amazed Edelgard how Dorothea managed to know just what to say and do to make her feel like a normal girl, not one with a bloody future looming over her head. The Mittlefrank veteran's presence never failed to create a warm spark in her heart, even if it sometimes flickered from the pain of needing to lie to her on occasion. Even so, that pain still couldn't take away all the inner warmth that Dorothea kindled in Edelgard.
Settling down, Edelgard set her eyes upon the rest of the Dining Hall while she waited. There were plenty of underclassmen in line, waiting to get their meals. One of the Golden Deer students, the gigantic Raphael, was tapping his foot while waiting to get a second order of meat skewers to go along with the first one already served before him. And out of the corner of her eye, Edelgard saw a familiar shape, one wearing their hood over their purple mop of hair.
Dorothea had apparently seen them too, as she called out to the form, "Hey there, Bernie!"
Upon hearing her name, the Varley girl froze like a deer caught in a carriage's burning torchlights. A moment passed where the three girls all collectively looked at one another, before Bernadetta broke first and looked away from Dorothea and Edelgard. She was just about to turn away completely, before Dorothea called out to her again.
"Hold on!" the diva said. "Mind having lunch with us?"
Bernie's body language shifted, with her head swiveling a few times between Dorothea and Edelgard, to then the nearest exit to her. From how it looked, Bernie was processing her options at the very last minute. A minute passed before she took what appeared to be a rather forced step forwards to the friendly pair, her hands clenched and held straight down at her sides. It was abundantly clear that Bernadetta was fighting every fiber of her being not to run away instantly.
"H-hello," was Bernadetta, rather clipped greeting to Dorothea and Edelgard.
"How're you holding up, Bernie? Healed up from all your battle wounds?" Dorothea asked, trying to spark a conversation.
Bernie couldn't even look Dorothea in the eyes as she replied, "Y-yes…"
"That's good to hear," commented Dorothea. "Anyway, mind sitting with us today?" she then asked, gesturing to some random dining table with a broad sweep of her hand.
"Actually… I wanted to tell Lady Edelgard something…" Bernie forced out.
That made Edelgard arch an eyebrow. She certainly didn't see Bernadetta being so direct ever coming. There truly were some surprising things in that tiny, petite body of hers. "And what is that?" Edelgard asked, curious.
Bernadetta's eyes widened at the prompting. She began to take in deep breaths through her nose, although her feet remained rooted in place. Despite her panic instincts clearly kicking in, she was still standing her ground for whatever reason was in her head. Her lips trembled as she tried to say something, but only a few squeaking noises came out.
"What was that?" asked Dorothea, looking perplexed at the state of Bernie.
At that, Bernie took a deep, open-mouthed breath of air, before holding it for a moment and letting it pass through her nostrils. Then, in a quick sentence, the Varley girl managed to let the bomb drop:
"I want to leave the Black Eagles."
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Cliffhanger! I've been building up to this moment for a while in my general plot spread, so it's nice to finally get it down in writing. Although I'm sure that a few of you could've guessed where things have been going as of late. In any case, I hope you're all interested where things go after that large of a bomb drop.
In any case, this is The Draigg, and I'm signing off on this chapter for now!