Chapter 45: Unraveling
I know that some of you have been waiting for this big moment in Bernie's character development, and I'm certainly glad to deliver it! It's been building up for a while, so it's really about time that I reap what I had sown into the literary soil quite a bit ago. So, let's see how the assembled Black Eagles house members handle this bombshell!
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Despite all the buzz in the air of the dining hall, it was as if the simple sentence that Bernadetta said hung plainly in the air, for all to see like a lantern in the night. Or, more like a direct slap to the face, in a way. How could she think such a thing?
"…I'm sorry?" Edelgard asked, taken aback. Surely she had heard Bernie incorrectly. That just didn't sound right.
"I… I said that I want to leave the Black Eagles!" Bernie repeated, this time trying to put more force and emphasis into her words. While the force of her words wasn't enough, the fact that she was actually saying them out loud was more than enough to shock and beguile Dorothea and Edelgard, as clearly shown by the expressions to the two girls.
"But—You—What're you even saying, Bernie?!" called out Dorothea in shock.
Bernadetta's face flushed red. It was evident to everyone involved that she wasn't actually expecting to have to explain her rationale for that decision. The gears and cogs inside of her mind spun and whirred as she tried to think of an answer that didn't sound too insulting or betray her full love for Sylvain.
"I-I-I just wanted a change, that's all!" was what Bernie decided on. It wasn't terribly convincing, but it was all she could think of on the spot.
"What would make you want to drop out of the Black Eagles now?" Edelgard then asked, regaining some of her composure. "Now, of all times? I feel like you still have a place in the Black Eagles, Bernadetta."
"A place in my plans," Edelgard's mind clarified to herself. She dared not to speak those words out loud.
To that, Bernie added, "I… I'm not so sure about that…"
Before the Varley girl could react, Dorothea clasped Bernie's hands in her own. Bernie herself froze up from the sudden bodily contact, paralyzed and made to listen to the former diva's plea. "If we did something wrong, just tell us, Bernie! I'd hate to think that we wronged you in some way!"
While Dorothea's hands were warm and still soft to the touch, in spite of all the hard work out on the battlefield she had taken a part in as of late, they just didn't carry the necessary warmth to sway Bernie otherwise. Their softness belied an uncaring heart, dragging people into situations where they were led to believe they would be safe, but then left to fend for themselves. Sylvain's rough, strong hands were more honest in comparison. They were the kind of caress that she could trust.
With that thought rushing through her mind, Bernie wrenched her hands free from Dorothea's hold. "There's nothing you can do to change my decision! I'm really serious about this!"
Dorothea looked genuinely hurt by the Varley girl yanking her hands away from her. It dragged up some rather ugly feelings inside of her that she hadn't felt in a while. To be so utterly rejected even though she was trying her best made her feel like that young street rat that aspired to be something bigger again. It made her feel small, very small in the face of someone like Bernie rejecting her. The former diva couldn't help but break the gaze she was holding on Bernadetta's eyes as she put her hands back to her sides and looked downwards.
"Well, if you feel that way… I suppose I can't really stop you…" Dorothea said to the floor.
"Surely there must be something that can convince you to stay with the Black Eagles, right?" bargained Edelgard. Although she dared not to show it, the beads of sweat forming at the back of her neck were proof that her resolve was being tested. Something like this happening was completely out of line with what she had in mind for Bernadetta. "Do you want to stay in your room more? As House Leader, I can surely arrange for special tutoring in your dormitory. Or I can arrange things so that your after-class campus work is in the greenhouse all the time. Surely you don't want to work in the stables anymore, right?"
Slowly, Bernie shook her head at the offers. "I know you want to keep me with you… and I'm sorry if it hurts, but I just think I need to go."
"Bernadetta, I wouldn't be doing my job as House Leader if I didn't do everything in my power to try and understand your reasoning here. So, why are you leaving, and what can I do to bring you back?" Edelgard then tried, going for the more authoritative route. If bargaining wouldn't work, then perhaps the presence of her authority as the House Leader of the Black Eagles would.
"Uhh, p-personal reasons. Isn't that good enough for you?!" was Bernadetta's response, once again failing to sound convincing when directly confronted.
Edelgard squeezed her eyes tightly shut for a moment, and then refocused her gaze on Bernadetta. She knew what she had to do to reestablish control over the conversation. As long as she just kept on asking non-specific questions, Bernie would just keep on deflecting, even if the deflections were hardly believable. No, she would have to get specific. And there was one highly specific bit of knowledge in her mind that was probably connected to Bernadetta's sudden decision to leave the Black Eagles. It was a shame to use that card in her deck so early, but the Varley heiress was starting to force her hand.
Fixing a strong gaze on Bernie, Edelgard commanded, "Okay, we're not going to talk around here. We're going to have a private conversation, Bernadetta, about why you're thinking about leaving."
Bernadetta gulped. "W-where?"
"Outside," bluntly responded Edelgard. Then, turning to Dorothea, she added, "Stay in here, I want to talk to her woman to woman."
"But—" Dorothea was about to protest, before being cut off.
"Trust me," insisted Edelgard. She left no more room for debate with either girl when she then promptly grabbed Bernie by the wrist to lead her outside of the dining hall. Bernadetta looked completely horrified at the idea of what was going to happen, while all Dorothea could do was stand there, too emotionally deflated to step in.
Edelgard didn't care that she got a lot of odd looks from the students waiting in line for their food as she pulled Bernadetta outside and into the garden space between the dining hall and the classrooms. It was as private of a place as possible, considering the circumstances. There was no time to be more selective, Edelgard needed to make a move at that moment, lest control over Bernie slip through her fingers entirely.
In the garden area, Edelgard moved Bernadetta into a corner made by the tall hedge rows, before standing in front of her to cut off any routes of escape. Since Bernie's first option was more often than not to run away, this was the only way that Edelgard would be able to pry any kind of real answers out of her.
"I'm not going to insult your intelligence by pretending I don't know," began Edelgard, "so I'm going to be direct with you. Are you leaving the Black Eagles because of Sylvain?"
Immediately, a bolt of utter fear shot through Bernadetta's entire body, as if she had been hit by a spear of lighting out of the blue. She jolted at the feeling, hearing her heartbeat in her ears reach a pounding drumming pattern. Her skin instantly felt cold, and the muscles in her limbs were as if they had suddenly been transmuted into jelly, trying as hard as they could to keep her standing up. The knees beneath here were wobbling, buckling under the sudden dead weight that her body had become.
"I-I-I—Uhhhhhhh—" was all Bernie could stammer out.
Edelgard crossed her arms. "Take your time to find your words, I'll wait."
Bernadetta's knees finally gave out under her, sending her into a slumped kneeling position on the ground. "B-b-but… how...?" was all she could manage to get out.
"I'm your House Leader, I'm expected to know such things," Edelgard frostily stated, completely sidestepping the fact that she was spying on her housemates.
By that point, Bernie was panting heavily. For some reason, it felt like her lungs were just plain refusing to take in air. She felt a burning sensation in the center of her chest too as tears started to well up in her eyes. The poor Varley girl could practically taste the stinging bite of the bile that was starting to trickle up into the back of her mouth. She had been reduced to gasping for breath, her ragged and shallow intake punctuated by trails of drool coming out of the corners of her lips.
Despite how cold and forceful Edelgard was being towards Bernadetta, even she couldn't help but pity the sight before her. It had only taken one strategically-asked question to cause the Varley girl to completely crumble. It was just plain sad and pathetic to see Bernie become so ruined so quickly. But still, emotions like that had no place in her plans. Edelgard would need to continue to put on a stone face and have a stone heart to keep Bernadetta in the place she needed her to be.
Kneeling down close to her level, Edelgard continued to press Bernadetta for a response. "Well? Is he or is he not involved?"
Bernie let out a small whimper as she retreated further inward on herself, going from her slumped kneeling to outright laying on her side. As Edelgard's words reverberated inside of her skull, all Bernadetta could do was curl up her body into a fetal position. The only sounds that her throat was capable of making at that point was the rapid, shallow breathing that was keeping her still conscious.
To put it simply, Bernadetta's body and mind had lost the fight or flight coin flip. Unlike at Gronder Field, where the coin landed on the 'Fight' side, now it had landed on the 'Flight' side. However, due to Edelgard cornering her, there was nowhere for Bernie to actually run to. So, there was only one feasible option for her subconscious to consider: complete shutdown.
Edelgard frowned at the sight. She may have gone too hard, too fast in her desire to keep Bernadetta under her thumb. It looked like Bernadetta was utterly unable to respond to any verbal stimulus, conscious but catatonic. That question about Sylvain has completely shattered any resolve that Bernie may have had when telling Edelgard and Dorothea about her decision to leave the Black Eagles, to the point where her mind was no longer registering the world around her. It was nothing short of a complete mental breakdown.
As sad as it was to see, Edelgard could still at least put some value on what she did to Bernadetta. It was plainly evident that Bernie was no longer in any state to even think about leaving the Black Eagles. The Adrestian heiress could work with that. All she would need to do is haul Bernadetta over to Professor Manuela's office and leave her in a medical bed for however long it would take to get her back out of her catatonic state. She wouldn't need to authorize a House transfer with Bernie in that state. Edelgard could afford to push off the issue of Bernadetta's departure for a while longer. And that time gained would allow her to come up with a more compelling reason to keep Bernie under her control. It was a cold calculation, but it was a functional one.
Edelgard waved her hand in front of Bernie's eyes to gauge her response. Nothing intelligently registered, only the panicked flickering of dilated pupils all over the place. Bernadetta would be easily transported in that state.
"Hubert," Edelgard calmy called out to the empty air around her.
On cue, Hubert maneuvered his way through the branches of the shrubbery wall around the garden area. It was a safe bet to assume that Hubert was listening in on Edelgard and Bernie's confrontation, ready to leap into action at the mere word of the lady he guarded.
Hubert looked own at the occasionally-twitching form of Bernadetta on the ground. "I'm assuming you need help moving her?"
Edelgard nodded. "Indeed. Please help me take Miss Von Varley here to Professor Manuela's study, she's having an unfortunate mental episode."
Kneeling down, Hubert cradled the petite form of Bernadetta up in his arms, as carefully as possible. It would do no good to harm the unfortunate girl any more than she had been already. Even board pieces of the game Edelgard was playing with her stygian overseers needed care shown to them on occasion.
Hubert wasted no time in making his way over towards the central administration building of the Officer's Academy, Bernadetta held gently against his chest. The poor girl's limbs were limp, and they swayed uncontrollably in the rhythm of Hubert's long steps. Edelgard followed alongside her faithful assistant, keeping up her stone-cold face as she considered what to do with the consequences of her actions. It helped keep out of mind one deniable fact.
Edelgard had lost a piece of her soul that day.
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You know, I don't really always start writing chapters with the intentions of having characters suffering in them. They always just kind of turn out that way, if just because it feels appropriate for the momentum of the story. Anyways, as the author, let me just apologize to Bernadetta for being so cruel to her. The poor girl really does need some sunshine in her life.
Anyways, this has been The Draigg, and I'm signing off on this chapter for now!