Percy always enjoyed being back in New York. It was like a less crowded, less hostile London. But maybe he simply enjoyed the colonial city because of who resided in it. After all, many men seemed to be grumbling in frustration that they were in the colony and not back home in England.
But Percy was happy, for Mr. and Mrs. Andrews resided here. As was always the case when Percy made port in New York, he found himself in the dining room of the Andrews Estate for a calming dinner.
"I suppose it would have been too much to hope that you would have never seen an enemy ship," sighed Mrs. Andrews dramatically. "It was bad enough when I only had him to worry about, and now I must concern myself with your foolishness as well. Truly, Perseus, do you detest me? Is that why you grate at my aging heart so?"
"Not so aged yet, ma'am," chuckled Percy as he took a sip of wine. "And I can hardly be faulted for falling into an action, if anyone is to be blamed, it's the French."
"The scourge of humanity, indeed," chuckled Admiral Andrews, "And there's no blaming the boy, my dear. It was bound to happen sooner or later."
"Allow me my fantasies, husband," chided Mrs. Andrews. "I much prefer my dream that the worst little Percy has to deal with is the odd, grouchy, lieutenant."
"Must you insist upon that moniker, Mrs. Andrews," said Percy with no small amount of exasperation. The kind-hearted woman had cursed Percy with the damned moniker when he had been but a boy and she had first met him.
"Yes," said Mrs. Andrews defiantly, "I must. My dear, you don't even remember how little you used to be. The first time I met you I was concerned that the lightest of breezes would simply pick you up by your breeches and carry you off into the heavens. Thank goodness you seem to have finally begun to show your age."
Percy flushed furiously, much to the amusement of Admiral Andrews. The couple enjoyed teasing him endlessly over the fact that it had taken some time for Percy to have finally begun to grow. He had been a small child, and it had not been until he had been nearly thirteen that he had finally begun to grow. Blessedly, however, he had since grown into a proper height, and now stood evenly with Admiral Andrews, who was not a small man in his own right.
"All right my dear," laughed Admiral Andrews, "No need to berate the poor boy too much. Any more teasing and I fear that he might begin to steam from the ears."
"All right, all right," said Mrs. Andrews, sighing as though she had been taxed with a tremendous burden. "I shall endeavor to leave the handsome young man alone," she flourished Percy with a wink, and he felt himself flush further, much to the delight of his companions.
"Tell me, Percy," said Mrs. Andrews, cutting into her chicken. "What is it like? To be in the midst of combat? Mr. Andrews has always refused to tell me about his times in action, and I find myself dreadfully curious."
Percy shared a knowing look with Admiral Andrews, who seemed to know precisely what Percy was thinking. War, the true nature of war, was not a topic for polite conversation. Not it's real realities at any rate. Percy felt his hands ball into tight fists under the white cloth of the table, and tried to force the images that danced before his mind's eye away.
"It's…chaotic," said Percy diplomatically. "You hear the stories, see the paintings, and it always seems so…romantic. You envision it to be a sort of…gentlemanly sport almost, but it couldn't be further from the truth." He nervously began to pick at his hands, and couldn't raise his eyes above his dinner plate, "It is less of a fight, and more of an unorganized brawl. You are never too certain what is happening, who your friends and enemies might be, and you become overwhelmed with the moment. It is…a terrifying and exhilarating experience all rolled into one."
"I think, perhaps," said Admiral Andrews, clearing his throat and pushing away from the dinner table, "That perhaps we should adjourn for the evening."
His wife, catching the not so subtle cue, nodded her understanding and pushed away from the table as well, as servants quickly bustled in and began to clear away the dinner plates.
"Perseus," said Admiral Andrews, "Allow us to retreat to the drawing room, my dear," he said to his wife, "We shall be up for bed shortly."
"Of course, husband," nodded Mrs. Andrews, before walking over and gripping Percy's hands tightly in her own, "Lovely as always to have you home, dear," she said and a surge of happiness swelled in Percy's breast at the words.
"Happy to be home," said Percy softly, kissing the woman gently on her boney cheek. She pat him gently on the hand, before striding from the room. Turning, Percy followed his commanding officer from the dinning room, and into the drawing room. A fire had already been lit, a blessing in the cool autumn eve, and a tall bottle of port was waiting for them as they arrived. Lifting the bottle, Admiral Andrews poured a generous portion into a glass and thrust it into Percy's hand,
"Drink," he ordered, "I have a feeling you'll need it."
Doing as was commanded, Percy tilted the tumbler back and downed the port in a single gulp. The thrill of the alcohol burned through him, and he was filled with a pleasant warmness that spread through his chest. Nodding in satisfaction, Admiral Andrews refilled the tumbler, and poured another one for himself, before gesturing to the large armchairs by the fire. They settled down in front of the flames, and Percy sighed contentedly as he allowed the warmth to blanket him.
"Tell me about it," ordered Admiral Andrews softly, and Percy didn't need to ask for clarification.
"It was worse than I ever imagined," said Percy hollowly, "I have never been surrounded by so much death. So much blood." He looked down, and in the dance of the firelight he could still see the blood that stained his fingertips. "I-I had not expected to…I didn't think I could…so effortlessly-I didn't even think about it. I simply acted. I killed those men and didn't even hesitate to consider the consequences on my soul."
"You did what you needed to in order to survive, Percy," said Andrews gently, "You survived. God will never condemn a man for fighting and killing when it is his own life on the line." He sighed, and took a heavy pull of his own port,
"It doesn't get any easier, does it?" Asked Percy,
"Easier? No," said Andrews, "But you learn how to deal with it. Learn to deal with the loss, with the violence and evils of war." He glanced over to Percy, a meaningful look on his face, "Say what you're really thinking son,"
"Am I evil?" Percy blurted, asking the question that had been burning at him so vividly for months, "I-I did not even hesitate to murder those men, and it was not until hours after the battle, well after the blood had dried and stained my hands and my soul that I found myself even considering the consequences of my actions. What kind of man is that? What kind of a man can take a life so callously and not even flinch at the repercussions?"
"You are not evil, Percy," said Andrews calmly, "The mere fact that you are asking that question at all, that you feel recompense for your actions, speaks to the true nature of your soul. You have nothing to worry about in the eyes of God, son." He took another sip,
"You are dealing with something that all men in our profession must deal with sooner or later. Our profession is not a romantic one. It is violent, and bloody. You have been forced to take a life, and you will be forced to continue to take lives in the name our King and Country, as it your duty." He met Percy's eyes, "You are a good man, Perseus. A kind man, you value the life of others, care for the human spirit. It is an uncommon trait in our world and it pains me that you should be burdened with a life that would cast doubt on that nature." He sighed, and ran a tired hand through his wig,
"But this is the life which you have chosen, and you will be asked to kill again. You need to be able to ask yourself if that is something you will be able to do. Your willingness to fight can determine whether the lives of good men will continue or end, and it does not make you an evil man to fight to preserve the life your fellow comrades." He shook his head,
"You are not an evil man, I promise you that Perseus." A cheeky smiled dotted his aging face, "Do you truly believe that I would have welcomed you into my home and my life if I thought you the son of Satan?"
Percy chuckled, "I suppose not, sir."
"To hells with that 'sir' bollocks," said Andrews with a wave of his hand, "We are home, Perseus, you may call me Haythem. How many times must I tell you,"
"Just once more, sir," said Percy cheekily, and Andrews chuckled good naturedly, as he poured himself another glass,
"I had another motive for asking you aside tonight," said Andrews, adopting what Percy referred to as his "officers voice," and Percy sat up a little straighter in his chair.
"I have received a message from Whitehall that the admiralty is growing concerned with French activity near southern Colonies," said Andrews, "As the Heritage will be out of action for some time for repairs, you have been deprived of a vessel. I have taken the liberty of addressing the problem for you,"
"Thank you, Haythem," said Percy meaningfully, and Andrews smiled at him in satisfaction,
"Think nothing of it," said Andrews dismissively, "Our relationship aside, you are a promising young midshipman, and I would never deprive His Majesty's Navy the opportunity to see your career flourish. I have given you to an old friend of mine, you remember Captain Prichard, yes?"
Percy nodded, Prichard was a good man. He and Andrews had been friends since they were children, and was one of the captain's that Percy respected the most. Of all his potential postings, it was the best possible outcome for him.
"Thank you, Haythem," said Percy again. He couldn't be more thankful for the man using his resources for Percy's benefit, he certainly didn't need to be doing that, but it meant the world to Percy that he did. He just needed to ensure that Andrews' faith in Percy was not in vain.
"Think nothing of it Percy," said Andrews dismissively, "You'll be boarding the Triumph day after next, so you'll need to begin preparations first thing in the morning,"
"Mrs. Andrews won't be happy," said Percy, and Andrews snorted,
"No, she won't be. But she understands our life, she will be fine," said Andrews, "You want to repay me however, then you can repay by coming home as a Lieutenant. You will be turning seventeen in a couple of months, and I expect you to pass your examinations exceptionally."
"I will endeavor not to disappoint," said Percy, meaning it. He owed everything to the man beside, and he would do everything in his power not to disappoint him, or for Percy's conduct to reflect poorly on Andrews' reputation.
"I know you will not, you never have," smiled Andrews, and they settled into a companionable silence for a number of minutes, content simply in one another's presence.
"Percy," said Andrews, his voice barely audible over the crackle of the fire, "Forgive me for prying, but I feel I must ask. Is it still your ambition to be a hunter of pirates,"
"Yes," said Percy without hesitation,
"I had feared as much," sighed Andrews, rubbing a hand across the creases of his mouth,
"You don't approve?" Said Percy,
"It is not that…" said Andrews, "I simply worry for you."
"How so?"
Andrews sighed once more, "Revenge, Percy…I worry because you desire little more than revenge. It drives you, compels you, controls your every action. I would be remiss if I did not share my concerns with your passion."
"You've known that this was what I wanted since you took me in," said Percy, confused as to where this was coming from,
"Aye," nodded Andrews, "But time has a funny way of giving you perspective. I do not wish to drive you away from your goals. I know well enough not to get in between you and your goals, more stubborn than the most foul-tempered mule is what you are."
In spite of himself, Percy couldn't help but smile,
"I'll choose to take that as a compliment,"
"Some would call it a criticism," chuckled Andrews, then grew somber once more, "But I do not want you to become consumed by your revenge. I fear you losing sight of your humanity, of becoming so consumed by your revenge that you lose sight of your humanity,"
"An interesting observation considering the conversation we just had," said Percy passively,
"There is a difference between taking a life in the heat of battle, where it is your life or his, and allowing hate to control you." Corrected Andrews, "I have lived a long time, Percy, a long time in this profession and this world of ours. I have seen many a man who have lost themselves to their hate, and I do not wish to make light of your hatred. If ever there was a man to be righteous in his hate it would be you. I just do not wish to lose the man you are becoming to the hate in your heart."
Percy nodded, even though he did not know if he could truthfully accept that reality. At the end of the day, Andrews did not understand it. Andrews had not watched as his mother had been blown to pieces in front of him. Did not lose her to the most vile and ill-tempered creatures of Hell cursed to walk the earth.
"I do not expect to change your mind here and now," said Andrews, "But I hope that you will consider my words, and take care to think on them. I do not wish to see you lost to hate, not when I know how much goodness you have in your heart."
Percy didn't have anything to say to that, so he nodded. There was nothing else said between them.
There was nothing left to say.
BREAK
The Triumph was a beautiful vessel. A Third-Rate ship of the line, it's three gun decks were loaded for bear with twenty-four and eighteen pounders respectively. Sitting in the Harbor of New York, the early-morning sun reflecting off of its topsail, Percy couldn't help but smile. As nice as shore-leave was, and as much as he had made a home with the Andrews, his one true home truly was on the sea.
Percy was greeted by a young lieutenant, maybe only a few years older than Percy himself, with stocky shoulders and a charming smile,
"Lieutenant Hubert," he introduced, to Percy as a cabin boy lugged Percy's trunk aboard,
"Midshipman Percy Jackson, sir" saluted Percy smartly,
"Been hearing a lot of things about you, Mr. Jackson," said Hubert, as he led Percy aboard,
"Nothing too damning I should hope," said Percy,
"Quite the contrary," chuckled, Hubert, "Lieutenant Forrestor is an old friend of mine, and he spoke quite highly of you when last we spoke. According to him, you saved his life. For that you have my thanks."
"Just doing my duty, sir," said Percy, and Hubert chuckled,
"I don't believe modesty suits you, Mr. Jackson," said Hubert with a smile,
"I should second that," said a new voice from the quarter-deck. Looking up, Percy met the smiling face of Captain Prichard. An aging man nearing forty, he had the weathered features of a man who had spent a life at sea.
"Captain," saluted Percy, "Midshipman Percy Jackson,"
"Aye, I know who you are Mr. Jackson, I should hope that you have not forgotten me so soon."
"Never, captain," smiled Percy, dropping the salute,
"God be good lad, take a look at you," chuckled Prichard, scanning Percy up and down, "Last I saw Mr. Jackson here," he said to Hubert, "The lad was so tiny that he hardly reached my knee, and now would you look at him, nearly as tall as I am." He chuckled happily, "Welcome aboard the Triumph Mr. Jackson, Admiral Andrews speaks highly of you, best try not to disappoint him, aye?"
"Aye, captain," nodded Percy,
"Good man, stow your belongings and get back up on the deck, we need to be pulling away as soon as possible,"
"Aye sir," said Percy, taking the dismissal for what it was.
It was some hours later, as Percy watched the New York harbor fade into the distance, that he allowed a smile on his face. Once more, he was back on the sea, and he could not wait to see what she had in store for him.
AN: As always shoutout to Double0Sxvxn for being an awesome Beta and dealing with my bullshit and as always if you enjoyed this but haven't checked out my other work, give them a try you never know you might find something else you like. I'm also on discord now, where I and a bunch of other writers hang out, chat and brainstorm ideas, you just have to copy the link that's in my profile bio if you want to come and hang out with us. Stay safe, stay healthy and have an awesome week.
All My Love and see you next week,
LilDB