Pink Lace and Plenty of Frills
Summary: In which Kakashi wears a pink dress, Iruka is confused and we all learn the valuable lesson to be careful what you ask for.
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Shinobi have a tendency to arrive in the most unexpected manner possible. Being one and having worked around them all my life, I'd internalized that axiom long ago. I thought that nothing could surprise me.
I was wrong.
"You're in a dress. A," I cast around for a minute, searching for a suitable descriptor that would sum up the obscenity in front of me and failed. "A pink dress."
The man in front of me simply smiled his enigmatic smile.
I waited, but I'm not known for my patience around willful idiocy. "Why are you in a dress?"
"You told me to be."
Not the answer I was expecting. "I what?"
His gloved fingers made half quotation marks in the air. "I will go out with you, Kakashi-sensei, if you come to the mission room in a dress."
Why was he still wearing his uniform gloves? Was my voice really that high pitched? As a jounin, he should be an expert in mimicry, so... I shook myself. Those were in no way the important questions. "When did I...? Oh."
Shinobi also have a tendency, after being removed from civilization for any length of time, to fall into bed with the closest available companion. Tired of being that closest slab of meat and too exhausted to face the inevitable argument that would follow if I simply said no - shinobi tend to take that word as a challenge - I'd finally resorted to making outrageous demands.
That tactic worked fairly well. Until now.
In all honesty, that demand hadn't been my best effort, but I figured the threat of cross-dressing in front of the hokage, half the jounin - why were there so many people in the mission room today - and more than enough of the genin and chuunin that Kakashi would never hear the end of it from his own team would be dissuasive enough.
Kakashi twirled - twirled, my brain repeated - on the spot, frilly skirts swishing against the floor. "I believe this is dressy enough to qualify, Iruka-sensei."
Dressy enough? I almost swallowed my tongue. Between the yards of satiny fabric and lace, we could probably clothe an entire 5-year-old's princess birthday party. My eyes, searching for any safe place to look that wasn't Kakashi, his dress or the snickering audience we had, landed on one feature I'd failed to notice.
He had a ribbon in his hair, tied in a neat little bow.
I was biting my lip so hard to keep from laughing that I was sure I must have drawn blood. He is certainly in a dress.
Jeers started in the peanut gallery. Apparently most of the on-lookers thought I was going to send him packing. I gave them a disbelieving look past the swell of Kakashi's skirt.
"I get off work at 6. I'll meet you out front." Shocked silence crashed around us, and I dipped my head to hide a grin. I couldn't believe that they'd really expected me to tell him no.
Honestly, how could I pass on such an entertaining man?
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Gosh, this was huge amounts of fun to write and an awesome stress reliever. Hope you enjoy the stupidity! AKA, can I come up with a reasonable rationale to get Kakashi into a dress. And the first-person narration. I've never done that before, but it just seemed like this story needed it.