Φ
Chapter 4 - A Little Engagement Part 2
...
If you were a fan of isekai, you'd know that the protagonists usually get some kind of broken overpowered cheat ability like infinite mana or Enhanced EXP gain EX. Those stories sell the better position on your next life idea like hotcakes on a winter day or like some kind of sale in the grocery. They all promise a world where things come easily to you and you're rewarded for giving the bare minimum effort because, in real life, that kind of thing is just bullshit.
I'd say, calling it bullshit is bullshit. It clearly exists, and it exists in this life of mine. Clearly, there was somebody here who's got a divine-class affinity towards the elements, is ultra-smart and can kick everyone's asses with just their bare fists. And the name of that someone is m—
"Got you!"
I squealed like a pathetic six-year-old and hastily raised the wooden stick in my hands. My opponent grinned and karate-chopped my meager weapon into two, then used her other fist to knock the wind out of me, then into me as I was launched over a meter into the air and collapsed on the grassy training ground in a heap.
With a monumental effort, I raised both of my arms towards the sky as a universal declaration of surrender.
Now, where was I? Ah, right. The name of that someone was—
"And the winner is Al!"
"Alexa!" the girl retorted.
Not a moment later and the collective voices of half a dozen Mitachurls sent their cheers and jeers into the sky. I let my limbs fall on the ground and took a deep breath, two breaths, then a dozen. I became vaguely aware of Alexa standing over me doing some shit I couldn't really tell because I was still seeing stars, aching all over the place, and feeling something wet on the back of my head.
Then someone opened my mask and put something foul in front of my nose and I became a mess of tears, cursing, and vomit.
"What—" I couldn't complete my sentence. My throat felt too dry. Someone passed me a water skein and I drank it down greedily, which was a mistake that made me eject it back out. I drank again, slower this time. I wanted to enjoy my quenching of thirst but I, unfortunately, became aware of more than just one person cackling at my plight.
One of them was Alexa. Another one would be Sama Zeno.
"That's a nice look for you, kid! Ha!"
What a cruel old lady, I thought.
I felt a hand on my (clean) shoulder and turned to see my mother. She was hunched over me in concern.
"There—" she grunted. "There is still time for you to be better."
...Okay, that's a bit concerning, though at that time I was a little pissed at being beaten the snot out of, so I looked at Alexa, then back to my mother, and thought bullshit instead. I didn't want to say that to my mother though. Instead, I grunted as I pushed myself to my feet, ignoring the protests of all four of my limbs and possibly two broken ribs. For a second, I was upright, then I had to be supported by Mother as both legs uweuweuwe'd into spaghetti.
"See ya, loser!" Alexa said as the two of us walked away.
Love ya too, sweetheart, I replied in my head. Then I frowned.
"Come, Samu, we must return," my mother bade. I moved to obey.
We went back home, to our hut, no, yurt, and then my mother went about cleaning me up. How, you ask? Stuff like aqueducts and well-making weren't something that hunter-gatherer societies like us make, so how were we having water up here in the caves, high in the mountain?
Hydro slimes.
Such creatures were revolutionary and used far and wide across the hilichurlian societies of this day and age, though my sources are limited to this valley. The existence of Hydro slimes actually allowed us, creatures of the wild, to take refuge in places that would have been impractical to stay long-term. It's actually kind of a tradition to set out and go down the valley in order to find the sopping wet critters and bring them back to the tribe every week. We would deposit them in a reservoir in the form of a big-ass clay pot that I'd thought was metal at first because it had a black sheen. Surprisingly, the slimes were happy enough to stay in their communal tub. Occasionally, a few of them would turn into cryo slimes due to my father's proximity, but we could take care of them just fine.
A slap on my shoulders brought me out of my reverie. Mother hit me again to make for four slaps of the healing salve-covered cloth on each shoulder, a kind of custom to bless a fighter's recovery. Satisfied, she went back to the family slime pot at the back of the house to clean the rag.
I dumped myself onto the bed, sighing in defeat. Of course, it hits me after a moment of inflection. I got the feeling that the fight I just lost was a lot more important than a normal fight. I mean, the signs should be there: it was officiated by the tribe shaman, spectated by the warriors, with the participants' respective guardians present. This obviously wasn't some simple roughhousing in the backyard, and though I didn't exactly know its purpose, I could guess that this had something to do with our futures.
A few minutes later and there were footsteps outside the yurt.
"I ask for the defeated to step outside," Sama Zeno said.
Called it. I sighed and fought against my protesting body and got up. It was time to get this over with.
The shaman was waiting for me outside, and so were the tribe elders like Nod, Med'ved—a Mitachurl with a lot of dust in his hair, whose name meant honey-eater and was my father's general—and of course, Lata Mon himself. And then there was Alexa.
The two aides of the village chief were each holding a mask made from the shinbones of the same monster. One had horns from the same white bone, the other looked like its horns were fashioned from wolf claws. Both had the same pair-of-wings-like symbol painted onto them. The shaman nodded to me and I dragged myself over to stand beside Alexa.
"The results of the First Tribulation are clear," Zeno said. "Thus the champion Al will be the Head and the defeated Sami will be the Body."
The shaman put down her staff and brought out a knife and a bowl from...somewhere, holding it out between us. The bowl was filled with grape juice.
"Pour your blood into the drink."
Alexa went first. There was zero hesitation on her part as she slid the bronze knife across her palm and let the blood—hilichurl blood is as red as it goes, by the way—into the grape juice. She then passed it to me.
Fuck it.
I quickly cut my hand, wincing at the sharp pain, and gave the knife back to the shaman while I let my blood pour into the ceremonial drink. The drip stopped itself quickly—hillichurl bodies were full of vitality, after all.
With that, the shaman raised the bowl high.
"Thus it shall be, until the Tribulation of Adulthood, Al will lead this partnership and Sami will heed his fated's wishes. Drink."
Alexa was first, and I, second. The taste of grape juice with blood was actually kind of interesting, though I don't exactly look forward to drinking more of it.
"Bring the masks."
The two Mitachurls that served as witnesses to the procession each approached us. Of course, I was given the whiter mask, and Alexa was given the one with wolf claws. I watched as the girl quickly swapped out her mask and looked at me with anticipation. A sigh escaped my mouth as I did the same, albeit with less energy than she did.
With that, the Samachurl nodded and raised her staff.
"May the fated be blessed with a strong future. Valo!"
"Valo!" Alexa and I cried back.
The air shattered as the witnesses cried out the same. Heh, I actually got a ringing in my ears.
And with that, I have officially been dommed. There goes the adventure harem life.
...I hated harems though.
Sama Zeno nodded at us then turned to leave, the other tribe leaders following in her wake, which was made a little more dramatic since father always left some frost on the ground wherever he walked. When they were gone—though I could still feel my father's footsteps since the guy was positively massive—I suddenly found myself tackled down into the thankfully dry plant-padded ground by my fated.
"We get to play all day now," she said.
Ah.
Of course, that's what she thought. To Alexa, all the ceremonial hubbub only meant that I'd be playing with her forever now and that I couldn't say no to it. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't comprehend that my entire future as a gallant traveling hilichurl had just been taken away.
I'd blame the village, too, but then… I can look at the factors. The future was uncertain. We lived in times where it was a Tuesday for my father to come back home bringing with him the bloodied and frosted carcass of some massive monster as food for mother's birthday. Most babies died young—my mother was surprisingly blase about telling me how I had four dead older siblings, actually—so ensuring the future of the tribe was an issue. So the smarter tribe elders began the tradition of binding children together as soon as they knew they wouldn't die of disease—which was five because hilichurl vitality—so that they can safely square these two off the "spouseless" list and guarantee that the stronger one led the budding family as a bonus. No one complained because they didn't think that, and it was smart.
Leave it up to the hilichurls to do something like this without much explanation and call it a Tuesday.
Still… something else bothered me. No, it wasn't the village customs, though I was bothered by that too, and it wasn't that I worried about Alexa ordering me around because, if I had to admit, she was a good kid. No, it was the fact that I'm a reincarnated college kid sitting in the body of a child. If I decided to actually make moves on her, wouldn't this be… pedophilia?
As if to answer my worries, I felt a slap on my new mask. "Hey!" Alexa said. "I wanna play!"
I chuckled. "Fine, fine." I got up. "Slimeball fine with you?"
She grinned. "Loser gets double the slime duty!"
"Deal."
Yeah. You know what? I decided not to worry about it. At least, for now.
...
Ω
CHAPTER 4 END
Author's Note
Guess who's back, back again, tell a friend. Fuck I have exams.
Bogged down by college and some family emergencies that sent me into an unproductive rut. Kudos to everyone still reading this, and thanks.
If you're reading my other fic, Ironblood, uhh, I'm working on revamping how I did the beginning. Hindsight has made me realize that things haven't been very...grounded, so I decided to just make it better with a more concrete setting architecture so that I don't just throw random scenes at it anymore.
In any case, have a great day.