It was my civic duty as an Australian to complain about the cold any time the temperature dropped below 15°C. Considering the circumstances though…

"I-if I get through this a-alive," I vowed through chattering teeth, "I will never b-bitch about the c-c-cold again."

I'd been trudging barefoot through snow for what felt like days. Hydra hadn't bothered to provide footwear for a subject of study like me. My feet had crossed the line between pain and numbness a few thousand steps ago.

The kagune stretcher had long been abandoned in favour of just draping the unconscious Soldier over my bare back. It took a bit of manoeuvering to carry someone larger than I was, but I pretended he was just the world's biggest baby and made my kagune into the world's biggest baby backpack. His arms were draped over my shoulders and his legs were held up by my arms.

I rolled my left shoulder to alleviate the pressure from his stupid heavy bionic arm. How did he live with that thing? Wouldn't he get like, scoliosis from the uneven weight? The super soldier serum, cheat that it was, probably took care of that.

I had scoliosis. I wonder if I still did. My body had gone through more changes than just ghoul changes and I hadn't had time to note them all down yet.

The most obvious were my hands. My nails were black all the way through, and my fingers were no longer crooked. I'd always had the bad habit of nail-biting and picking at the skin around them. The stress of being a prisoner of Hydra had amped that up to 11, and it was only due to a ghoul's regenerative abilities that my fingers weren't freely bleeding right now.

Presumably because Kaneki Ken was biologically male and I was biologically not, my chest was flatter and my hips narrower. Good thing I was gnc; no a-cup angst here.

Before this, I'd been your average asian with black hair and bad eyesight; now my hair was a streaky grey and my eyesight hadn't been this good since I was five. My right eye was still brown, but my right eye had been in the black and red of kakugan ever since I'd entered this world. The sensation was hard to put into words. I could only describe it as a kind of 'fullness' when compared to my other eye.

My new 20/20 vision allowed me to spot the small wooden cabin amidst the beginnings of a blizzard. It looked sturdy enough to block out the wind with the help of the conifers surrounding it.

I cheered silently and picked up the pace, slushing through the knee high snow. The tree branch had been abandoned a few kilometres back when I realised the snow was too deep for me to cover up any tracks. I could only rely on the budding blizzard.

No lights were on in the cabin. I knocked on the door just in case. Nobody answered so I kicked the door open. I entered and jumped when the wind slammed the door shut behind me.

In the far corner of the cabin was a wooden cot and an old stove was pushed up against the wall. I dumped the Winter Soldier on the thin mattress and went rummaging through the nightstand next to it.

"Aha," I murmured when I found a matchbox. There were only three matches left in it. The first one snapped in my fingers. I frowned down at my blunt black nails. Being a captive of Hydra hadn't exactly given me many opportunities to learn to control my new ghoulish strength.

I pulled the halves apart and carefully pinched the half with the match head. A quick stroke down the side of the matchbox set it alight. I immediately flicked it into the stove. While I waited for something to happen, I blew on my fingers.

The tiny flame flickered out.

There was no firewood.

"Fuck," I said.

I jogged on the spot to get some heat going before I ran outside, slamming the door behind myself. There wasn't an axe around so I flattened two of my kagune tails into sharp edges. They slashed across the tree from opposite sides.

The tree tipped over towards the cabin. I swore and squeezed my eyes shut with my arms protecting my face. When the tree trunk hit my arms, I opened an eye when I wasn't squashed flat. I could feel the weight bearing down on my arms and in my back and legs, but it was… easy to hold it up.

Right. Ghoul strength.

I shoved it in a direction that was not the direction of the only shelter for hours around, marvelling again at how strong I'd become. I had no frame of reference for how much effort it should've taken to carry an adult man, especially one with a metal arm, but wood? I'd been a scout once, and while we hadn't had to chop any trees down, just the act of transporting the prepared firewood to the fire pit was enough to leave my arms aching.

But now I could drag an entire tree across the snowy ground and lay it in front of the cabin door without breaking a sweat. My new splinter immunity was also very cool.

There was absolutely no way I was going to be out in the freezing wind for longer than I had to, so instead of properly chopping and splitting the wood, I smashed it to pieces.

HULK SMASH, I snickered as my fists crashed through the log. Between my fists and my kagune, the log was soon reduced to manageable sizes.

I opened the door and swept the whole lot in with my kagune. Some snow got brushed in too but better that than leave any wood outside to get wet or have the door open for longer than necessary.

When building a fire, you'll want to make a tepee out of kindling on a bed of tinder.

One of my scout leaders had said something like that. I shoved some bigger pieces of wood into the stove then followed her instructions.

I held my breath when I held a lit match to the tinder. It took.

Fire, get!

Now that was done…

I stood from my crouch and turned around to find the Winter Soldier way too close. I flinched back.

"Jesus fuck!" I yelped.

Yes, I had enhanced hearing. No, I did not notice him coming. Just because I was better at hearing things now didn't mean I was any better at paying attention to my surroundings. Speaking of paying attention, my backside was uncomfortably hot.

"Fuck!" I repeated. My ass was on fire for the second time that night. I patted it out, but too late. The waistband broke, and my shorts dropped down. So now I was in nothing but a pair of burnt undies and half a shirt. Brilliant.

I looked down at my ex-shorts, then up at the Winter Soldier. I pointed at him accusingly. "This is your fault!"

He just looked at me. I deflated.

"Yeah, okay, it isn't really." I facepalmed and waved in the general direction of the bed. "Go sit on the bed or something. Don't look at me."

I waited for the telltale shift of cloth before I uncovered my eyes and found him sitting on the cot, staring at the opposite wall.

Bucky's pants were also burnt, obviously not as bad as mine, but there was only so much I could cover when he was significantly taller than me and I'd been more occupied with protecting his head than his legs. His boots looked fine, at least. I thought of stealing them for myself before dismissing the thought. I wasn't the one in danger of frostbite, and if I really couldn't take having cold feet any longer, I could just order the Winter Soldier to carry me.

The cuts on his face had already scabbed over, but his burns still looked pretty bad. I hoped they didn't get infected. Oh geez, what if his wounds got infected? There wasn't any antiseptic or anything around.

I spotted a dented old pot next to the stove and grabbed it. I filled it up with snow from outside and plunked it on top of the stove. Once it boiled, I took it off and chucked the cloth that used to be my shorts into it.

I presented it to Bucky.

"Um. Here? Clean yourself up with this, or something. Not sure how much good it'll actually be, but I figure this is better than having, like, ash and dirt in your burns and stuff, right? Right. Yeah."

I watched awkwardly as he knelt beside the pot and reached into the water for the cloth. Whoa, what? I caught his wrist. He went stiff. I let go and backed off, hands in the air.

"Sorry, sorry. Just, the water's hella hot. Just because I don't want you getting frostbite doesn't mean I want you getting scalded either. I don't want you to get frostbite, by the way. So uh, I guess you should soak your feet in the pot after?"

The Winter Soldier didn't say anything, just stared into the pot with the same dead eyed gaze he'd had since the first time I was shoved into a training room with him. Actually, I'd never heard him say anything.

"Are you mute?" I asked.

"No," he said. His voice was deep and gravelly.

"Oh, okay. That's good. Um, feel free to talk more. Like, express your thoughts. Ask questions."

I doubted Hydra had let him talk much. Encouraging him to talk would hopefully bring more Bucky out of the Winter Soldier. Right now, he was 100% Winter Soldier.

Did he even know who Bucky was? A scene from the movie played in my head.

"Bucky?"

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

Oh my god, Bucky didn't even know who he was.

"Do you know who you are?" I asked anyway.

"I am the Asset," he replied, not looking up from the pot.

Ah, shit, that answer just made me sad. Fucking Hydra and their dehumanising bullshit.

"Well, not anymore!" I declared as cheerfully as possible. "You're Bucky now. Alright? Repeat after me: I am Bucky."

"I am Bucky," he repeated dutifully. I pat him on the head. His hair was kinda greasy.

"Good job. Uh, you can look at me now," I said, remembering I'd told him not to earlier. "Any questions?"

Bucky finally raised his head, but didn't say anything for a long moment. Finally, he opened his mouth.

"Is 'Bucky' my cover?"

So he still didn't get it. That was alright, I'd just keep telling him until he did.

"No, Bucky is you. It's who you used to be. It's who you will be, who you'll be back to being, in the future."

I frowned.

"Unless you don't want to be Bucky anymore. That's fine too!" I reassured him. "I just feel like you should remember who Bucky is—was—before you make that decision. Ya get me?"

His blank stare made it very clear he did not.

"Understood."

I sighed. "We'll get there."

We fell into silence. I sat on the ground and stuck my hand into the water.

"It's fine now, probably."

Bucky shucked his shirt and I hastily spun around to face the stove. The man was very hot and if it were anyone else I would have been more than happy to sit there and admire them, but this was a brainwashed assassin whose privacy had not been respected in decades and ogling would just make me feel guilty.

Splashing sounds came from behind me and I stared into the fire, very determinedly not imagining water droplets trailing down chiseled abs.

When my face got too hot from the fire, I drew my legs up and rested my forehead on my knees. For the first time since my arrival in this world, I switched my kakugan off. I was warm. A blizzard had started outside, covering our tracks. We were safe here.

Hydra would never find us.

I jerked awake to the door of the cabin being kicked in and squinted uncomprehendingly at the fully armed man in the doorway. It took way too long to spot the skull and tentacles emblazoned on his shoulder.

"God fucking damnit."

Hydra found us.

hey it's been over a year. no, i don't have any excuses. on the bright side, longest chapter yet, at over 2k words.

review?