A/N: I got really annoyed with trying to figure out the intended geography of the Little Palace versus the proper "city" of Os Alta versus what did or didn't get ret-con'd depending on which book you're reading versus the TV show versus whatever other word of god/canon/head canons exist... so, uh, I threw my hands up in the air and just gave up. Don't come at me with any corrections for Ravka's geography. I ran out of fucks to give.
There were walls around Os Alta that kept the city and palaces stacked up like layer cakes. However once one got onto the grounds that made up the Little Palace, the walls were less so an issue as they were more or less present. Heading over to the stables or the lake meant passing through one of the innermost layers. The men and women at attention by the palaces were much more focused on keeping threats out than they were focused on those passing by who had already been inside. Plus the brightly colored Grisha keftas made it fairly clear that one belonged.
That was all to say that Alina didn't have to do much more than stop herself from fidgeting too much while she directed Zarya to pass through the northern gate. The guards there barely even inclined their head as she left Os Alta to head northbound. Maybe they didn't know to recognize the Sun Summoner since they were part of the noble's guard rather than the Oprichniki. Maybe they just didn't care. All she had to do was put on that same "I know what I'm doing" confident set to her shoulders as she had pulled with Kirigan's Oprichniki and they waved her through.
It was an unsettling feeling, to not be able to glance over her shoulder and see the familiar stone buildings and breezy landscaping. Alina expected it to feel momentous. Instead, she couldn't even place the moment when she first realized the Little Palace was missing from the rear view. She was caught up in the journey - exactly as she had hoped.
Zarya was happy to be working; Alina had last ridden her probably a week past. She pushed against the steady trot that Alina was most comfortable with, eager to step a little more quickly. Alina spent a great deal of conscious effort pulling her back. If they exhausted themselves too soon, it would make it difficult to journey back.
When they broke off from the carefully maintained roads, that was when Zarya finally cooperated and stopped pushing. She might not have followed Alina's logic for choosing the quieter paths that lead into the thickets and brambles of the woods, but the mare definitely knew that these were not the places to run through.
Alina knew these roads, at least in theory. Os Alta and the surrounding regions were a particular favorite for the Head Cartographer to "suggest" for review whenever one of the junior cartographers fell behind on their quality of work. Alina had been forced to learn all of the main routes and elevation changes practically by heart. All of the detail work of the minor paths - the borders of the noble landholdings and so on - that she would need an actual map to recall properly, but she certainly knew the way to get around.
As such, Alina also could figure out which of the lesser traveled routes would lead her parallel to those major roadways. Even better, the chance to stretch her mental muscles was appreciated. She had been disappointed when she had reviewed Kirgan's map that evening and hadn't seen some of the details that should have been there. Even on the larger scale of Ravka, the Black General should have a map with last summer's roadwork laid between Poliznaya and Balakirev.
Her thoughts skittered when they got too close to Kirigan and the Little Palace. Alina focused on the journey instead, even when she and Zarya paused to eat and to wait out another flurry of snow that kicked up and fell in equal suddenness.
She was going north. The roads here would start to curve and run west soon enough, towards the city. Balakirev wouldn't suit Alina's purpose; it was the closest true city to the capital and therefore was likely to have an abundance of First and Second Army soldiers. They had to protect the fragile nobility that didn't have good enough bloodlines to cower in the layer cake walls of Os Alta. There wouldn't be nearly as many soldiers as compared to the fully fortified Poliznaya, but definitely more than the quiet little fiefs that had to make due with protecting their lands with passing patrols or those who had gotten injured or old enough to warrant being discharged.
The considerably less populated villages and summer dachas would be the safer bet for Alina to meander by without notice. She relayed this plan to Zarya who didn't much care one way or the other, her ears flicking with disinterest when Alina explained they were going to have to cross through the game trails in the woods before they would hit proper roads once again.
Zarya, at least, did not ask why Alina was choosing to go north when there were just as many quiet, unassuming villages in the fiefs to the east and south. She was happy to work and plod through the fresh snow that would more than likely be gone from the wind or the next midday sun.
The sun was low on the horizon when they hit the edge of the wood. Alina considered coaxing Zarya to push across the open field they had reached to the next swath of trees, but the horse was already slowing and there was no guarantee that Alina would be able to find freshwater once the sun had fallen fully. There was also the nagging feeling in the back of her thoughts that she shouldn't be trying to travel too far. She was going to have to turn around eventually, and as much as she knew the main roads she really shouldn't assume that the trip back to Os Alta would be quite so straightforward. Alina diverted back into the trees, trusting the game trail to lead to a stream and pushing those thoughts away with all the rest of her concerns from the Little Palace.
She dismounted from Zarya, giving the mare a break and taking the lead as the shadows from the trees stretched long and dark. More than once, Alina had to walk them off the trail to avoid loose rocks or a ditch that had opened up from the early frost heaves.
If she was more capable or comfortable with her abilities, Alina might have summoned a light to help see her way. With her attention split between watching her own footing as well as the horse's behind her, she didn't trust that she would be able to keep the ball of sunlight small enough to avoid attention. As much as the people outside of the Little Palace didn't know just what the Sun Summoner looked like, walking around while actively summoning would give it all away.
Hiding her powers away, running off from those trying to keep her safe - Alina very much was still the same girl from Keramzin. She chewed on her lip, trying to shove that thought back where it had come from. But this was one too many to shove into that dark place.
She was just running away, wasn't she? For all her intentions to just get her head back on straight, to just have time that didn't belong to the Grisha who had stolen her away from her otkazat'sya life in the army, she was-
She was surviving.
She was finding water and shelter and a place to rest. All on her own, for herself, without anyone telling her it was time to be critiqued by Botkin or yelled at by Baghra or stared at in that way she didn't dare to decipher from Kirigan.
The only expectations that Alina had out here in the woods were to take care of Zarya and herself and that was it. Those were finally ones that she could live up to.
Her mood was sour by the time that she found a stream to water Zarya and to refill her canteen. Some small favor smiled on her however and Alina was able to tuck herself and Zarya below a bluff only a few minutes further from the stream. It helped to cut the worst of the wind and allowed Alina to get a low fire going. Stripping off bark from fallen trees wasn't quite the intended use for her hunting knife, but that gave her kindling to start the fire and then logs that would smoke less.
Ana Kuya had insisted that Alina take up a pen rather than a sword for the sake of the First Army, but even cartographers had to help maintain camp when they were on the road. Alina appreciated the experience now.
She kept the fire low, feeding it the broken bits of logs that she had scavenged only when she couldn't feel the heat without sticking her hands directly over the flames. It would have been nice to build up a strong blaze to properly heat the area; Alina hadn't been able to find a way to smuggle out a bedroll along with her other supplies. Instead she settled for draping Zarya's saddle blanket over her shoulders and using her pack as a backrest. The chill from the ground still seeped into her legs.
Alina fidgeted every few minutes to lean over the fire or to scrape off more bark from the log - anything to keep herself occupied. She envied her horse who was able to just nod off, oblivious to every crack and snap of the fire or the dancing shadows at the edge of their little hideout. As much as she feared retribution from the Grisha who would surely be looking for her now, she feared more what other dangers lurked that would not announce themselves to her.
The whisper of the breeze through the trees could be the murmurs of more Druskelle, the Fjerden witch hunters that had tried to kill her. The crack of a branch might be a bear not yet settled in for winter. Saints, even if she was found by Ravkans they might decide the bounty from Shu Han was worth turning over one of their own. Alina shivered and clutched her cloak tighter around her.
What the hell had she been thinking?
She nodded off once or twice, always waking up when her fire waned and the cold crept in. The last time that she woke, Alina found herself under a fresh deposit of snowfall. That was her sign to stomp out the cinders of her camp and to saddle Zarya once again. The dregs of dawn were enough for her to squint past and get the fasteners in place.
Then she was mounted up once more and yet again following her mind's eye to the open fields she had shied away from yesterday. Alina found herself constantly looking behind herself, questioning the little things that she had overlooked. How obvious were Zarya's hoof-prints in that thin crust of snow? Should she have taken the time to bury her fire remnants or was scattering the burnt ashes good enough? Was that a flash of red fabric in the corner of her eye or just a very flustered pheasant bothered by her riding through?
By the time that she hit the field she had left yesterday, her nerves had her gripping the reins ferociously. She patted Zarya with one hand as she forced herself to pause and flex her fingers. "Ready to run, girl?" Alina asked. She had not found a section any narrower than that she had seen yesterday, so it wasn't going to be one single sprint to cross the fields. Alina felt the nagging urge to cross the expanse quickly regardless.
Giving a strong kick of her heels, Alina gave Zarya the command to go. Immediately Alina had to catch her breath as the mare eagerly jumped into motion. She had done a great deal of trotting in practice and a handful of rocky sessions of cantering.
This was a thundering, a race, a true gallop. Zarya's neck stretched long and her hooves ate up the distance. Alina clung for dear life to her, the four-beat pace echoing along her legs and body with each hoof. It was exhilarating. It was insane. Alina didn't dare pull her back until they had crossed almost half of the distance. Then she felt Zarya slow just so, prompting Alina to have her return to a simple walk.
Alina gave her another well-earned pat and assurance that she had done well. Zarya's flanks were heaving from the exertion, her nostrils flaring with each harried inhale. "Good girl," Alina murmured still. Her own legs would have been shaking if she was standing. That was the pace that she remembered from evading the Druskelle. A selfish grin stretched across her face; apparently she didn't need a teacher to learn everything.
Both rider and mount took a brief respite as the sun finished rising over the horizon. Once again Alina frowned at its outstretched rays. She only had so much time today before she really ought to consider the trip back. Winter was quickly stealing sunlight from the day, even now.
The tall grasses swiped at her legs as she walked next to her mare, and the heat of the sun burned off the remainder of the wispy mist even in the lowest hollows of the land. Alina half expected to turn her head and see the familiar stone walls of the orphanage. The sudden pang of memory twisted in her chest. Alina pulled herself back again onto the saddle.
"A bit more, yeah?" Alina asked Zarya. Alina once again coaxed her to another gallop.
She didn't want to think about Keramzin, not now. Alina didn't want to think about anything other than the ground ahead of her and the invisible map in her head that was leading her up and away from Os Alta. This time the thundering beat in her chest rattled with each breath that she took, threatening to tear her apart.
She didn't stop Zarya until she could see the trees ahead of them. Even then, Alina kept Zarya at her breakneck speed for as long as she could. Only when the first brambles snagged at her mare's feet and her cloak did Alina pull back. Zarya dropped quickly to a trot and then to a plod.
She had earned a proper break. Alina slid from the saddle and flipped the reins to take the lead for a bit. She had spied a proper path and bridge to the west of them; that meant more fresh water if it was over a true river or stream. Alina turned them away from the rising sun, sticking to the edge of the field and woods.
Until she spotted movement in the corner of her eye. The wide, open grasses weren't difficult to notice any fellow travelers should they be passing through. She and Zarya had definitely stuck out while they crossed. At the opposite edge by the woods though, that was hard to see along. Having the sun in her eyes didn't help, and that was why Alina almost didn't believe she had seen anything at all.
That was at least until she paused in the shade of a wide, leafy oak tree. Between the high branches blocking out the glare and the hand that Alina put up to her face she was able to make out more of the dark edge of the wood they had departed. She froze when she caught movement again - where? The more that her eyes flicked over the distant horizon, the more her certainty wavered.
Was that actually a person? She could have sworn that she saw the flash of cloth again - something decidedly human and not a passing animal. Zarya nosed against Alina impatiently, snorting indignantly when Alina pushed her back with a shushing sound. Suddenly traveling along the treeline didn't feel so clever, not when she was dragging along a pure white mare.
The distant trees refused to give Alina a clear view. She swallowed hard and very slowly forced herself to turn her back to the field. She and Zarya had to go deeper into the trees here. Then they could head west again for the freshwater.
Having to pick along by foot was slow, but Alina didn't want to stress her horse more than she already had. At least she took some comfort in having crossed the wide expanse quickly. That had been a good thing, right? Alina worried at her lower lip. It had been smart to get out of view. Maybe not so much to have done so at breakneck speed. It was possible that she had just put up a signpost pointing to herself. Did you see? The woman riding like a maniac across the grassy plain?
She tried to listen for anything - footfalls, voices, anything to corroborate what she might have seen earlier. It only left her jumpy, particularly since she herself was traveling with a half-ton creature that kept snorting or stepping on branches or nosing at Alina's hair when she paused.
Alina eventually had to compromise on some of her vigilance as she finally found the freshwater. Just as she had thought, it wasn't far from the road and if she squinted she thought that she could make out the roof of a farmhouse of some kind. Even if they followed the water upstream, the road followed as well on a parallel path for some ways.
She hardly waited for Zarya to gulp down more than a few mouthfuls before Alina was hopping up onto the saddle. Her nerves were burning. Waiting around for any length of time felt wrong.
Pushing Zarya into a trot - the horse didn't want to go that fast, now - Alina kept a weather eye on the road when she could see it. Even when she got hungry for a now-late lunch - she had forgotten to eat breakfast, she realized - Alina ate in the saddle and only slowed Zarya to a walk.
Her bag was getting pretty light. She had worked her way through more of the food than she had realized last night while she hadn't slept. One decent wedge of hard cheese and two slightly hard breads were all that was left after Alina washed lunch down with water from her canteen.
This was what she was supposed to have considered this morning or even last night. She didn't have enough food to keep going further North, not without stopping in a village or foraging. Stopping wasn't an option - she had no money - nor did she trust that she was truly alone in these woods.
No matter which way she looked at her situation, it was clear that she was not prepared to keep going for any longer.
That meant turning around, though, and going back to the Little Palace. Alina's gut wrenched at the thought. This was exactly what she had been avoiding for the past day and a half. She kept Zarya on their wandering path northwards. Soon she would have to cut over and join the road to take the direct route south. Soon, but not yet.
Why was she delaying the inevitable? Why was she stuck with that as her only option? Of course it was her only option. Alina might be young, she might be a horrible Grisha, but she wasn't an idiot. As much as her feelings were thoroughly stepped on by Genya and the Black General for having purposely kept her in the dark, there was still very much the undeniable fact that Alina was the only Sun Summoner known in all of Ravka. In all of history. She had a part to play.
Saints, it all made her head spin. The responsible thing to do would be to turn tail and make for her home. She could kick up another fuss, shout a bit more, and probably end up feeling better than she did now. But that meant actually confronting it all, and Alina couldn't quite get her hands to pull the reins and direct Zarya to the road. The mare wanted just to plod along, nosing at the underbrush rather than returning to the slap-dash sprinting from the morning. Alina sat stone-faced and frozen on the saddle, continuing on their aimless journey.
She had to make the call. She had to be the one to do it; Zarya wasn't going to. No one else could.
But it was so much easier to just watch the sun creep across the sky, inch by inch, low and slow, until it was once again kissing the horizon. Alina's stomach growled. She pushed Zarya a bit more. She delayed the inevitable for another breath, another beat, another shake of her head.
Alina blinked. The sun was gone now. It had dipped fully from view, and the dusky twilight had crept in while she maligned her fate. A whole day gone, eaten away by worry. Alina stopped Zarya at the next clearing they came to. She had forfeited the right to be picky by zoning out for so long.
Even once she made her fire and ate the first of her bread rolls, Alina didn't feel at ease. Unlike last night, Zarya was also restless. She thumped her hooves on the ground and nickered softly every few minutes. Alina finally tossed the second roll she had started on back into her bag and brushed her hands on her leggings.
"What's gotten into you?" she grumbled. Moving to the mare's side, Alina ran a hand along her flank. "Hmm?" she asked, as though Zarya might answer.
Zarya tossed her head, still unsettled. Alina might have rolled her eyes, but after a day of seeing threats in every bramble, she thought she could understand. She murmured nonsense to the horse, coaxing her to at least stop the nickers and whinnies. The stomping, well, that she would have to put up with.
The fire was once again low but not quite as smokeless as Alina had liked. Everything here had stayed damp from the daylight melting the snow as well as covered in a healthy carpet of moss and lichen from the stream. Alina gave Zarya one final pat before turning to stack a fresh log onto the fire. She froze before she took a step.
This time, she knew that she had not imagined the rustling of branches, not when they were accompanied by torchlight flickering less than a hundred yards deep in the trees. Alina unsheathed her hunting knife as a precaution. She kicked dirt over her fading fire. Beyond that, she knew that she was dangerously short on options.
Re-tacking Zarya would take precious long minutes, plus she would be at a disadvantage in the twilight once she did get back in the saddle. What if she ended up stumbling right into the rest of their group, whoever these people were? Alina made the decision to at least toss the saddle blanket back over Zarya to try and obscure some of her painfully bright coat. Not that the blue and gold was a terrific improvement, but it was better than pure white that caught torchlight with ease.
Then Alina settled back on her haunches, knife in hand, and waited. Staying in place seemed safer. Whoever was passing by her might do just that - pass by without ever knowing she was there.
Now she heard voices and a damning remark about "following the trail" and "catching up to the freshest prints." The sinking feeling in her gut opened up to a chasm. All her fears about being discovered had not been in vain.
She would have to be quick. No doubt Zarya's hoof-prints and her own boot marks would lead right to this clearing. She had left briefly to fetch wood and kindling - even more chances to have left evidence of her current location.
Her fingers in her free hand tapped and pulled against the back of her knife hand as she reached out tentatively for the dregs of sunlight that lingered in the distance. It wouldn't be a clean sort of summon, but she thought that she would maybe be able to blind them if they did get to the clearing. That might get her one or two lucky strikes - enough of an advantage to prove that she was more trouble than she was worth. She squinted past the trees to try and make out the flickering torches again. Where were they now?
Zarya whinnied once more. Alina winced at the sound, twisting her head to shush her. She actually had to stand to jump and grab the lead that Zarya was about to tug out of its knot. Of all the times for her to be riled up.
"Shh, shh, shh," Alina hissed. She could hear the voices again, now painfully close. Yards away, at most. Still the mare snorted, indignant. No matter what Alina did, she remained restless. Alina shook her head and turned back to her watch. Better to be prepared than to have her back to the clearing.
Regardless of her plan, Alina still started when the first rider broke into the clearing. She drew against Zarya, knife out and hands pressed together in a rough approximation of the pose Baghra had shown her. Alina gritted her teeth and prepared to issue a warning.
The next rider had one of the torches, and Alina squinted when they passed the light over her face. Alina leaned hard against Zarya to keep as much distance as possible between them. "It's her," they called out.
"Of course it's her," a third rider replied. His horse melted out from the woods, dark and familiar just like his rider. Now Alina could make out the stone-grey attire of the first rider as well as the blue and orange on the torch bearer - Oprichniki and Etherialki. The Little Palace come to rescue and reclaim its Sun Summoner.
What surprised Alina the most however was that it was not left up to just the soldiers to find her. Later, when she would not be caught up in the surprise of it all, that latter would seem obvious. Of course the Black General had come personally. She watched now as he dropped off from Harbinger and approached.
"Miss Starkov, are you alright?" Kirigan asked.
Alina's throat was tight. She had wanted to choose when she went back, when she would feel ready to confront him. This was too soon. She hadn't resolved anything. And now she had nowhere else to run to.
A/N: This chapter was… brutal to get to work right on the writing side of things. Definitely the biggest struggle over here T_T I hope that it was still worth it for y'alls to read though! Let me know. Also, how we feeling about how this convo's going to go between Darkles and Sparkles? Clearly super easy, without any issues, right?