Chapter 2:

After that night Aleksander seemed to be everywhere. He lingered in the gardens, on the spectators' wall of the training grounds, and by the path to the lake. Alina thought he might be trying to get her alone again, but Nadia and Marie always seemed to be nearby.

After Alina was excused from her classes, she went to explore the gardens' outer edges. She was too anxious about the prospect of seeing Aleksander again to just sit in her room. Once she got over the peculiarity of her new life as a ghost-seeing Sun Summoner Grisha (she had almost laughed a few times when she saw Aleksander and thought how ridiculous her new life was) there was a certain excitement to having a secret. Something private and all her own. It was difficult for her to resist the urge to share it with someone. When Marie and Nadia shared their own news over breakfast she wanted so badly to tell them how she had met an actual ghost.

The only thing keeping her mouth shut was that she hadn't heard of any other Grisha ever seeing a ghost. Sometimes she debated speaking up versus saying nothing. The risk of standing even more apart from others however easily decided for her. More than anything, she wanted to finally feel what it was like to fit in for once.

Yet somehow being around other Grisha didn't make her feel any less lonely. Marie and Nadia talked constantly about things that had occurred during their Grisha training at the lake or about Grisha gossip of who was into whom or their weekend plans outside of the Little Palace grounds. As a result Alina always felt left out since she couldn't summon her powers, didn't know half the people they talked about, and she couldn't leave the grounds like the others. Another humbling reminder of just how many people wanted her dead. So Alina avoided the domed hall and went out to the outer edge of the gardens, near the forest.

She wasn't surprised in the slightest when she sensed that nameless shift in gravity, like an invisible pull appearing behind her.

Alina allowed herself a secret smile before turning around to face her personal phantom.

He was dressed the same as always, entirely in black. Except this time Alina noticed a small touch of red hidden away, held intimately close to his chest. Peaking out from the coat's inside collar was the only color he wore, a small trace of humanity.

"You've been keeping your distance." She said.

Aleksander gave a small mysterious smile, "Well, seeing as you are the only one who seems to be able to see me in this whole place, I'd hate for you to get locked away for talking to thin air."

"Afraid you'll be left alone while I'm off vacationing at Os Alta's luxury asylum?" Despite the playful tone in her voice she watched his calm smile slowly crack and crumble into contained pain. Instantly she felt a twinge of guilt.

"I didn't mean to—"

"It's quite alright." The corner of his lips twitched up briefly and quickly faltered. "I was merely thinking about how you are not gaining anything from this and yet you risk losing so much."

"Do I have to gain something to want to keep seeing you?" She leaned towards him, trying to chase away those demons.

His mouth opened slowly then closed, a small genuine smile pulled at the corner of his lips. "You surprise me."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Alina's own smile was brilliant.

"Do you always act so selflessly?" His voice was amused and she was relieved to see his crooked smile again.

"Hardly." Alina's own smile was wicked, "You're just the most interesting person here."

"Being dead tends to do that to a person." Aleksander quipped.

"Well, that, and you're as much an outsider as I am." Alina leaned against a nearby tree and watched him with poorly-masked interest. Aside from being a ghost she thought him remarkable, simply as he was. He was nearly a head taller than her. If not for the light passing through him, she would be standing inside his shadow. His features were sharp and stark, an elegant play of dark against light. His near black irises were equal parts alluring and discomfiting. Alina found herself indistinguishably drawn to and uncertain of what lie behind those dark orbs and their silent promises. The way he looked at her sometimes, both excited and intimidated her.

Dark eyebrows quirked up, "I was under the impression you were friends with those two—" Aleksander paused, clearly considering his next words carefully. Finally he deeply exhaled and settled on the word, "girls." though it was evident that there were buried insults.

She chuckled despite herself, "You don't like Nadia and Marie?"

"It matters more what you think." Aleksander returned rather diplomatically, but his gaze was piercing.

Alina nodded.

"What do you think of them?"

She shrugged, "They're nice to me and were the first to try to make me feel at home…" She wasn't lying but she also wasn't being fully honest either. She couldn't help but feel a small pit in her stomach for her omission.

"But?" Aleksander pressed.

She gave a small lopsided smile at how perceptive he was and continued more honestly, "but when I am with them I'm just reminded how different I am."

He stepped closer, his face a cool mask, "And why is that?"

Unconsciously Alina rubbed at her palm. She watched as her thumb followed the line of her scar. "Besides not knowing half the people they talk about and not being free to come and go like they are? Put simply; I don't fit in." Her frown deepened and she mumbled spitefully, more to herself than him, "I never seem to fit in anywhere." What Alina wasn't saying was how deeply she wanted to fit in, how she had hoped this time would be different, more than anything. She quickly shook those thoughts away and continued, "Being with them, I just realize how alone I am. They talk about their powers, making fires and raising tides, and they all go to the lake to practice together and then there's just me."

A tense silence descended as Aleksander stared at her. Slowly she realized he was examining her, closely and thoroughly. Looking back Alina felt a little dazed, though she wasn't sure why. The way his near-black orbs unwaveringly studied her made her feel exposed in ways that intimidated her. She found herself wishing she had closed her mouth sooner.

Finally he must have found what he was looking for. He stepped closer, his eyes unyielding. Again Alina was reminded she was talking to a ghost. His footfalls were phantom steps that made no sound and didn't disturb a single blade of grass.

Alina had never been looked at so closely before. He seemed focused, mesmerized even, and it made her want to squirm away under such direct scrutiny. Yet his eyes held her in place as he approached. Her breath and the rustling leaves were the only sounds around them. His hand came up to her shoulders and hovered over her skin.

He faltered there and something that looked like longing crossed his face. Did he want to touch her? Comfort her?

Finally he broke the silence with his voice. It was soft and heavy like velvet, "There is nothing wrong with just you. You are Grisha."

"Not like them." Alina tried to offer a smile but it faltered, "They have been Grisha since they were kids—or at least they've known since they were. They've been using their powers for years. I found out only just a few weeks ago. I've been training and learning Grisha theory but I still can't do anything. I can't summon or even feel my powers like the others can."

"And this bothers you." he surmised.

Alina almost scoffed, "Of course it bothers me. Now that I know there's this part to me I had hoped this might be…" she halted, then began again, bitterness seeping into her words, "But instead I just feel even more alone. I feel broken."

"And what are you?" Aleksander asked. His voice was Grisha steel. It was an odd mirroring of her earlier question to him.

Alina blinked at the resolute set in his eyes. She bit her lip and hesitated, though why she did not know, before finally she answered, "I'm told I am a Sun Summoner."

His eyebrow quirked up, "You're told you are?"

"Well…" She hesitated again, "I haven't been able to summon light on my own since I was in the Fold."

"I see." He seemed to accept what she was and what she had said easily. Perhaps Sun Summoners weren't rare in his time? Though Alina had been told by both General Nazyalensky and Baghra that she had been the first ever.

Aleksander's eyes were serious, holding a soft reverence, "I think I have found a way I can return your kindness."

Alina blinked in surprise, not understanding.

"Alina Starkov, Sun Summoner, I believe I can help you to master the Small Science."

Finally understanding dawned and with it pure surprise.

"I can't ask that of you!" her voice had risen a few decibels, "Baghra is already helping me."

His onyx orbs flickered with emotions too quickly for her to catch any, all she saw was the calm mask he held.

Though beneath there was a torrent of emotions.

Aleksander quickly enough gave his head a small shake to return to the present conversation.

"I wish to be useful Alina, to help you. Do not deny me the chance to return your kindness."

Put like that Alina couldn't deny his offer to help.

Slowly she nodded.

Relief passed over his face, "We can begin tomorrow after your dinner."

~...~...~

And that's how Alina found herself at the edge of the forest after dinner. She wasn't surprised in the least to see that Aleksander had been waiting for her. Watching him straighten his spine upon seeing her though brought a smile to the young Sun Summoner's lips.

"You came." he said.

"You asked me to." she replied.

Aleksander nodded and motioned for her to follow him and without any hesitation she followed. She followed because inexplicably, inexpressibly, for reasons she couldn't fathom, she trusted him.

They passed through Ravkan white birch trees. With each step her boots displaced and crunched dried leaves, all while Aleksander passed soundlessly through the forest. Eventually the forest opened into a large circular break.

"Where are we?" Alina looked around. The grass was thick and green beneath her feet, the trees were tall and strong, and when she stopped moving there was the near-silence of an empty forest.

"We are where other's do not go." Aleksander moved to stand in front of her, "Where you won't have to hide who you are."

"I don't…" but the words faltered on her lips.

He quirked his eyebrow, daring her to continue what she'd been about to say. Alina frowned petulantly but pressed her lips together.

"Good."Aleksander nodded and motioned for her to take a seat before he himself came to rest on the forest carpet, "Honesty is the first thing we need for you to actually make progress."

Alina tucked her kefta beneath her and sat down in front of him. The grass bounced slightly beneath her, "You really think talking will fix me?"

Aleksander shifted then, bringing himself closer to her. If he had any matter his knees would be touching hers, instead there was a gentle dark billowing where they 'touched.'

"You," his voice was grave and his proximity made her skin hum and tingle, "are not broken, Alina Starkov."

"I feel broken." she mumbled as her eyes shifted to her palm again.

Aleksander frowned, his dark eyes taking in every detail of her face. His head tilted ever so slightly when he followed her eyes down to her palm where her finger was tracing lines.

"What is that in your palm?" he wished to grab it, turn it over in his own palms, and examine it on his own, but he had no physical form with which to do so. Instead he craned his neck and was reliant on her to show him.

"It's nothing." Alina's palm closed, his fingers pressing down to cover the line she had been tracing.

"It looked like a scar." His dark eyes scanned her expression for his answer. The quick instinctive scrunch of her face told him he had hit his mark. "The scar, does it mean something special to you?"

"It's a memento, from Karamzin where I grew up." Alina supplied.

"From the orphanage where you and the tracker grew up?" His onyx orbs were passive, but mildly curious.

She prickled at his question, "How do you know that?"

"I heard you speaking of him when you were asking if any letters came for you." He had hated watching that part of her day the most. Watching her hope time and time and always walk away with heartbreak in her eyes. "How did you receive it?"

Alina opened and closed her mouth, she seemed torn between telling him and keeping it to herself. He wondered what was behind the scar that caused her to weigh her options so seriously. Within a few seconds she came to her answer.

"I don't see how this applies to my Grisha training."

Her deflection was obvious and Aleksander would be lying if he said he hadn't been disappointed by her choice.

"I suppose it doesn't." He tilted the corner of his lip up into a gentle lopsided smile, "I was merely wishing to know you better."

In an unusual bit of self-consciousness he cleared his throat, which was ridiculous really if he thought about it. After all, what was there to get caught in a ghost's throat for him to have to clear it?

"We can begin by you telling me what you know about Grisha so I can determine what you don't know."

"Well, the Small Science feeds Grisha..." she began and continued like that until the slivers of light that had been floating between the trees faded and dissipated. As the light dimmed, the air slowly lost its warmth as it transformed into dusk's cool caress.

It was when she grabbed her kefta and pulled it against herself that Aleksander finally acknowledged the change in temperature and lighting. The sky had turned purple in preparation for night and the shadows of the birch trees had stretched from the outer circle to over them both.

"We can stop here." Aleksander easily stood in one fluid motion, "I will have a plan for your training by tomorrow."

Alina pushed off the grass and felt her leg muscles complain at moving after so long sitting on the forest floor. Her rise was clumsier and far more stiff and halting.

"Thanks." Alina turned to make her way back towards the Little Palace. Aleksander easily fell beside her.

After a few moments walking in comfortable silence the Sun Summoner snuck a sideways glance at the phantom beside her, "So, how did I do?" she asked, half-joking.

Aleksander smirked, "At least your hours spent in the library were not wasted."

"Wow." Alina feigned insult before smiling and shaking her head, "You wound me."

"Never, Miss Starkov." There was a warmth and depth to his quip that made her stomach tighten.

Alina watched as his far shoulder passed through a tree. Her eyes flicked to his feet where he was going through the motions of taking steps still, as though he was actually walking on the same ground as her.

"How do you do that?" She had always been the type to blurt out what she was thinking.

"What?" Aleksander's dark eyebrows scrunched together as he followed her eye-line down to his feet and then back to her face. They had gotten to the end of the forest and their steps came to a halt.

"I don't know, walk on the floor—not just fall through?"

He seemed to consider this, "I can float off the ground or walk through objects but those things take effort, conscious will. This," he looked down to his feet and the ground they were on, "This is where my body remembers being so it is where it naturally is drawn."

Alina considered his answer for a few moments. Then another question wormed its way into her thoughts.

"Can I ask you…" she hesitated, not sure if he would want to answer her, but Aleksander gave her a single nod and his eyes prodded her to finish her question. Alina sucked in a sharp breath before holding it and asking in one exhale, "What is it like?" then quickly she added, "being a ghost I mean."

Aleksander nodded, as if he understood her curiosity. Perhaps he did, he had been alive once.

"Like I said, before you I was trapped in darkness. Centuries passed in that deep, black, dreamless slumber. I cannot describe it properly. Then one morning suddenly I was here," he stretched out his palm and cupped her face, though she felt no evidence of it, "And I was drawn to you."

She sucked in a short breath and held it.

In that moment she wished, longed to actually feel his palm against her cheek, but there was nothing.

No cool chill or heat, no tingling sensation.

Just emptiness.

"Was it scary? Being in the darkness for so long?" She had to know.

"I do not fear the darkness," There was truth to his words, "But I prefer being here…"

'With you.' Though he did not say the words she heard them just as clearly.

Her face heated and she knew he could see her blushing.

"And what does it feel like?" she whispered. Could he feel her even if she could not feel him?

Pain crossed his face, "I do not wish to burden you with that." His hand withdrew to his side.

Maybe she should have allowed him to drop it. It would have been polite to change the subject and not push the matter. But she couldn't. His words, the pain in his eyes, she could not simply ignore them and carry on unburdened.

"Aleksander," her voice was soft, gentle, soothing, "I must know, are you in pain?" What would she do if he was? She wondered. Would she try to find a way to help him pass on? The thought of having to lose him made her heart clench painfully.

"No."

It should have been comforting yet somehow that denial was wrought with pain.

"Then what?" Alina wanted to reach out, to grab his hand and hold it between her own. Instead she settled for stepping a little closer. She could see every detail of his face; the dark stubble of his beard, the way his breath hitched when she stepped closer, the length of his midnight eyelashes, the light misting inside those lashes, the fact that there was brown in his irises.

"Alina," and he looked so broken on that single word. Again his hand raised to float over her skin, she saw the edges of his palm billow into shadows upon contact with her cheek. Yearning took hold of every detail of his face.

"I wish I could feel you." He whispered. His eyes closed and he inhaled deeply, "But I feel nothing."

Nothing.

The single word bounced inside her hammering heart.

What was it like to feel nothing?

"I can't feel the softness of your touch, the warmth of the blood in your cheeks, the grass beneath my feat, or the cool of the night air. I remember what such things feel like, but now they are just memories."

Alina felt dizzy and hollow. How could he go on like that? She said the only think she felt could be said, "I'm sorry."

His lip quirked and his eyes softened, "Don't be. I died so that I could be here now; with you. You are one of a kind Alina," he whispered, his voice deep and certain.

His eyes flared, like small embers brought back to life, "but that does not mean you are alone. Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same."

Her eyes flickered to his lips and back up to those smoldering dark orbs.

He was close enough that she should have felt his breath on her face but instead there was nothing. Just thin air. She should have felt his heat between their bodies, instead there was only her own rising heat.

He had died too young, yet if he had lived out his days until he was old and gray she would never have met him. They had been separated by centuries and yet they had somehow found each other.

She wondered what he would say if she told him she wanted to know about his past. Would she make him uncomfortable? Remind him of things he would rather forget?

"I…" her eyes flickered away. While they were talking the sun had set and the purple sky had given way to ink black. Stars peeked through the darkness. It was late and she would be getting up early in the morning for more training.

"I should go." the words felt weak. They echoed hollow even in her own ears. She knew she should step away. He was so very close, but her feet felt rooted in place.

"Of course." Aleksander agreed and she just stood there staring up into his face. She saw the moment he realized she wasn't moving away. His lips twitched into a smile and the corner of his eyes crinkled ever so slightly.

"Alina," he said, and it was clear from the stark tone of his voice that he was fighting with himself. There was an extended pause as he hesitated on his next words. Finally he exhaled silently and his eyes rose to hers, gentle submission evident in his dark-brown orbs, "Sleep well." he said, "I will see you tomorrow."

"I'll see you tomorrow." Alina answered, though a large part of her wished she could hear what he had almost said. Slowly she turned to leave and with every step she fought the urge to look back.

There was always tomorrow.

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