Chapter 3:

A gentle stirring wasn't in store for Alina the next morning. Instead she awoke to incessant, door-rattling knocks that grew louder with each moment she took to reach the brass knob.

"Finally!" Marie called as soon as Alina turned the knob. She stepped back to avoid colliding with the inferni.

"Good morning to you too." Alina returned as the Inferni and Squaller passed through the doorway.

"We were going to invite you last night to join us at the banya but we couldn't find you." Nadia began rooting through Alina's wardrobe, picking out one of the casual keftas that Grisha wore around the Little Palace and to training.

"Yeah, where do you always disappear to?" Marie inquired.

Alina's heart began to hammer in her chest as soon as she recalled being with Aleksander in the woods. There had been moments, lightning quick instances, where something had floated between her and Aleksander. Just recalling a few of the things he had said last night made her heart flutter.

She was instantly grateful that neither girls were a Heartrender.

"Nowhere really." Alina intoned even as her heart did summersaults in her chest, "I just take walks to clear my head."

"What's there to clear it from?" Marie was busy smoothing out Alina's blue and gold kefta on the bed.

"Hush," Nadia chided, "Not everyone flits through life with so little responsibility."

Marie's face soured and she stuck her tongue out at the squaller. Despite her childish display, she turned to Alina with a more somber expression. "I didn't mean to offend you. We just wished you could have joined us last night."

Alina instantly felt flustered and waved her hands in denial, "No, I wasn't offended at all," her words spurted out, "And I'd love to go to the banya with you next time."

Instantly Marie's face lit up with excitement.

"Oh good! You'll love it! Sergei, us, and some others were planning to go tonight as well."

Alina blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected the 'next time' to come so soon.

"Yes, yes, it will be much fun. But if we dawdle any more we'll be late and Botkin's punishments for being late are worse than General Zoya's."

"What about Baghra's?" Alina inquired as Nadia pushed her towards her waiting kefta.

Marie's eyes widened, "Oh, no one's punishment is worse than Baghra's."

Nadia nodded in silent but firm agreement.

The girls ended up being a few minutes late after all and Alina got to experience first hand exactly what Botkin's idea of punishment was.

Running laps around the Little Palace from the second they arrived until lunch break was enough to make all three girls agree unanimously that they would never be late again.

Despite the fact that Marie and Nadia had ran literally laps around Alina the whole time, when they all sat down for lunch it was Alina that looked the worst for wear. Nadia and Marie both had a healthy flush to their cheeks and their hair was windswept instead of the usual neat styles they wore, but other than some minor complaints of how brutal their extended jog was, they looked and acted the same.

Meanwhile Alina's already pale and sallow complexion somehow managed to look even worse. Her face was bright red and large blotches of red splattered her chest and neck. Instead of looking windswept her hair looked like a hurricane had grabbed hold of it. Her sweat from running had plastered strands to her face and neck in odd and unflattering angles. Most notably, unlike them, there was a drag to her movements from the exhaustion.

None of the girls could do more than nibble at their food, though the two Grisha did still eat notably more than the Sun Summoner. The one equalizer was they were all equally in need of showers. After lunch they separated to wash off before returning to their usual schedules: training by the lake for them and training with Baghra for Alina.

It wasn't until Alina was dragging her feat to Baghra's hut that she saw Aleksander and realized how strange it was that she hadn't seen him earlier. He was further down the path, with his back to her, staring off in the direction of Baghra's hut. Something in the air made her pause where she was.

Standing in stasis there, she looked at his dark silhouette. Usually when she had looked at him she could see, depending on his mood, mystery, allure, humor, confidence, sometimes even loneliness. Staring at his silhouette in that moment however, she felt something fragile. The feeling was vague and she found herself wondering if it was even really there or just her imagination.

She considered returning later and not interrupting whatever thoughts he must be having, but when she remembered both Marie and Nadia agreeing that Baghra's punishments were the worst she couldn't bare the thought of enduring any more that day.

So, with self-preservation pushing her, Alina put on her most oblivious smile and called out to him.

"Hey," She walked with forced casualness, "Were you waiting for me?"

"Mm?" Aleksander turned around and blinked a few times into focus, "Ah, yes." He smiled and though it was a beautifully crafted smile, she didn't like it. She had seen his real smile and this one paled in comparison. "I wanted to see you and make sure you would be coming tonight." If she hadn't seen him earlier she would have believed that that was all there was to him being there. But she had seen him looking at that hut in the distance and had felt the sensitive air about him.

"It's a good thing you came actually." Alina decided to politely pass up the opportunity to question him being there, "Marie and Nadia invited me to join them and some others to the banya later tonight."

"Ah." his eyes dimmed, "So you won't be coming tonight."

Alina's heart ached. Though whether it was from the look in his eyes or from realizing that he was right about them not seeing each other, she didn't know. Or rather she just didn't want to think too deeply about it.

Before she knew what she was thinking she heard herself saying, "Maybe you can wait for me at my place?"

She watched as his eyebrows pushed up, creating small lines on his forehead, and realized what she had just asked him. She had just invited him to her room after dark.

But, surprisingly, she realized she wanted that.

She wanted to spend more time with him. Before she had left him after they parted, gone to her room, and wished for more time with him. Though of course being a ghost made it impossible for him to be any real threat, she didn't really need that to feel safe with him around. She trusted him to be a gentleman.

While she was busy realizing all that, Aleksander had been slowly processing what she had asked of him, reworking the question over and over in his head trying to figure out if there was a second meaning he was missing.

"Alina, I couldn't possibly—" he began and she quickly stopped him there with a raised hand.

"My room is private, perk of being considered 'special,' and no one is allowed to enter without knocking so it's one of the few places in the Little Palace we can talk without worrying someone will hear me talking to myself or walk in unannounced."

Aleksander seemed torn.

"We can't always be meeting in the woods." Alina pushed, "Half the continent wants me dead. Sneaking out to a forest alone at night, even here, isn't a great idea." Probably the worst part of her argument was that she wasn't lying. She really was wanted dead by many people. Whether it was for power, political gain, or simply because she was Grisha—there were many who wouldn't hesitate if given a chance to kill her, and she knew that Aleksander would know and understand that as well.

Aleksander seemed to be considering her words, a tight frown and knit eyebrows marring his handsome features.

"Plus winter is coming." she added, attempting to lighten the mood.

She saw the moment she won him over. His dark eyebrows smoothed out and he exhaled a breath, "You are right."

"I usually am." Alina smiled triumphantly, "I have to go before I'm late though." Luckily she had left much earlier than usual for her walk to Baghra's hut.

"I'll see you later though." She said.

"Later." Aleksander's voice was a whisper that followed her all the way to Baghra's front door.

Training with Baghra proceeded as usual: with no progress. After a few hours of enduring her prickly personality and sturdy cane's abuse Alina was free to leave. The remaining hours before dinner were spent studying books on Grisha and finally after dinner she left for the banya with Marie and Nadia.

The banya was an elaborate system of steam baths and cold pools nestled in a birch grove beside the Little Palace.

The steam bath was an old log cabin style room with wooden benches, veniks hanging on the walls for traditional Ravkan massages, and a pool of cold water just outside. When Alina, Marie, and Nadia arrived the banya was already extremely hot. Sergei ladled some more water onto the hot rocks near the furnace when he saw the three girls enter.

While there was no separating of the genders in the second army's banya, there was also not the outright nudity that Alina had feared based on Ana Kuya's stories. Although both genders' coverings were very minimalist, everyone wore slippers, felt hats, and something to cover their most intimate parts. Marie, Fedyor, and Alina were the only ones to also have bath robes when not in the cold pool.

Upon arriving Fedyor had explained that since Alina had never been to a banya before that she should begin with 5 minute sessions in the steam room with 15 minute breaks in the cold pools in between. Despite the fact that all of them had higher endurance and could stay in the steam room longer they made the switches along with Alina. As the evening stretched on Marie and Sergei found a corner and entered into their own world, leaving Alina, Nadia, and Fedyor to their own company.

"They really are an interesting match." Nadia commented as all three of them stared off at the corner the two love birds were in, "They used to hate each other."

Fedyor made a humming noise of disagreement, "Hate is not the right word." he cocked his head to the side as he collected his next sentence, "Sergei's heartbeat always leapt when Marie was around. He was simply too immature to approach her directly, so instead he annoyed her for attention." Alina was reminded that Fedyor and Sergei were both Heartrenders.

Nadia scoffed, "I will never understand boys."

Fedyor shrugged good-naturedly, "We are complex creatures."

The stones hissed as Nadia ladled a stream of water onto them.

"I still don't understand how you and Ivan make sense." Nadia continued, "Don't get me wrong. I've seen how Ivan is with you. I just still don't get it."

Fedyor tossed a smile to Alina, who previously hadn't had much to add to the conversation, "You too have wondered?"

She nodded meekly. Alina would have blushed if the steam hadn't already made her whole body a warm flush.

"Simply put, we complete each other. Two sides of a coin." Fedyor's look became far off and his smile dreamy.

"How did you two…" Alina's question trailed off.

Fedyor flicked his wrist dismissively, "It's the usual boy-meets-boy story."

"I'm not sure I've ever heard it either." Nadia nudged him with her elbow.

That seemed to be all the convincing Fedyor needed, "Well, we were often partnered together in training. I was the first to develop a crush, but Ivan has always been better at sensing people's heartbeats and such. He was actually the first to make a move."

"Ooohh." Nadia cooed, sitting up with excitement. Even Alina was interested in that development.

"What'd he do?" Nadia looked like an old gossip lady at market, looking for a good story.

"That..." Fedyor leaned in, his eyes glanced from side to side and he motioned for both of them to also lean in. When all three Grisha were hunched together he gave a toothy grin and continued, "...is not for me to share."

Nadia groaned in protest as Fedyor broke into a peel of laughter.

"That was mean." Nadia grumbled.

"Perhaps." Fedyor conceded, "But it was very fun for me."

After Fedyor and Nadia exchanged some good-natured bickering, Nadia turned to Alina. The sun summoner was still smiling when she asked her question.

"And what about you Alina? Have you met anyone here?"

Aleksander instantly popped into her mind, "Me? No, no one." She gave a weak laugh and Nadia easily moved on to other questions and topics. Fedyor's eyes flicked to Alina and stayed there. In that moment Alina's world shrunk into her thoughts as she realized that for the first time she hadn't thought of Mal when asked about a romantic interest. Confusion flooded over and swept away her embarrassment as her thoughts dwelled on the strangeness of her own thoughts. When was the last time she had even thought about Mal?

Nadia repeated a question directed at Fedyor and finally he had to look away to answer her.

It was right after that when they switched to a 15 minute session in the cold pool. When all three sat down into the chilling water Nadia brought up Ivan being absent.

"Ah," Fedyor's eyes wavered over to Alina briefly, "My better half didn't care to come tonight."

Between their talk in the carriage and his speech at her first dinner, Ivan had made his feelings painfully clear concerning the Sun Summoner.

"It's because I'm here, isn't it?"

Fedyor looked acutely uncomfortable but still attempted a mood-lightening smile, "He will come around. He usually does."

It was disheartening but nothing Alina wasn't used to. Being half-Shu in Ravka she had endured worse.

After that their conversation drifted back to more pleasant things. Seasonal fetes and parties at the Grand Palace, their most recent trip out of Os Alta, how in spring wild berries grew in the forests around the Little Palace, how in winter some Grisha would roll in the snow instead of going into the cold pool after being in the banya steam room, and other such details of life at the Little Palace. No one mentioned Aleksander, but Alina wished she could add him to their impromptu list of pleasant things about life at the Little Palace.

Despite the trepidation Alina felt going into the banya, and the reminder that Fedyor's 'better half' didn't like her, she left the bathhouse feeling relaxed and invigorated.

Growing up Alina had heard Ana Kuya, the headmistress of Duke Keramsov's orphanage in Keramzin, say that banyas were where peasants with loose morals went for entertainment. However, as an adult, Alina was beginning to realize that Ana Kuya might have just been a prude.

The warmth from her last stint in the steam room clung to her all the way back to her room in the Little Palace.

When she crossed the threshold to her room, her eyes searched the dark corners for her phantom.

She found him standing in front of the window closest to her side of the bed. He was still staring out the open drapes even when she closed the door.

Alina peeled off her kefta and felt the cool night air glide over her skin, sapping away some of the warmth she had stored from the banya. She hung her kefta over her desk chair.

"You came."

Aleksander's gaze didn't waver from the night landscape, "You asked me to." As if it was as simple as that. And the way he said it, it felt like maybe it was that simple, that straightforward.

He would be there, so long as she wanted him.

She suddenly felt the need to clear her throat, "What did you do today?" Her eyes restlessly searched the room in an attempt to avoid staring at Aleksander.

"I walked."

There was more to it than that. Alina waited, but no more came.

"Aleksander?"

"It is nothing you need to worry about." Aleksander's voice was gentle but a sadness weaved through his words, "I didn't come here to discuss me." At those words his eyes finally left whatever they had seen in the darkness, "I came to help you master your gift."

Alina swallowed a snide remark about her 'gift' feeling like more of a curse and instead nodded.

Her eyes flitted to the bed only a meter behind him, a nervousness bubbled up in her, and instead her eyes came to the sitting area that she normally never used.

The neglected chairs and table she never ate at and then the fireplace and sofa she had never used.

"Right." Aleksander had followed her train of thought, "the chairs then."

Alina released a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

They spent the next half hour covering Grisha summoning techniques, asking and answering questions. Aleksander built on their last conversation and, true to his word, had begun filling in the gaps in her knowledge until finally she felt certainty. Eventually the conversation looped around to discussing mental blocks.

Alina rubbed at the scar in her palm, her thumb glided down and over the smooth ribbon of scar tissue.

"You have all the necessary physical and theoretically training. The only thing keeping you from calling forth the light at this point is you Alina." Aleksander's onyx eyes searched her face. Alina resisted the urge to bite her lip and instead forced a look of calm that she didn't feel. For whatever reason, what he was saying made her feel uneasy.

"What is keeping you from summoning?"

"I don't know." Alina's voice was sincere, yet it quivered like a candle in a drafty room.

Aleksander's eyebrows drew together in kind understanding and his lips pressed together, "I think you do."

Alina opened and closed her mouth. What could she say? She didn't know the answer. Her head dropped and her eyes fell to her hands in her lap. She hadn't realized she had been tracing her scar until she looked down.

"There's a reason you are avoiding this." Aleksander's voice was gently coaxing her to the truth buried inside of her.

He was right.

There was a reason she had been avoiding this. All her life she had been pining after Mal. The perfect, at times stupid but always kind, boy who never gave her a second look. She had been burying a part of herself ever since that day when the Grisha testers had come to the orphanage. Because she knew, deep down, that if she was different, if she was Grisha, then she couldn't be with Mal. So she buried it. She buried that part of herself and denied who she was and became sick, weak, Alina who needed strong, reliable Mal. And up until that exact moment she had been holding on to that image of herself. Holding on for the boy that never even wrote her back.

And in that moment, Alina took a deep breath.

And she let go.

It was like a bubble in the ocean. She could feel her power rising up and navigating its way to the surface. As soon as that first bubble broke the surface she realized it had been a small orb of light, weak and fragile but hers. It was her powers, neglected and starved from years of her refusing it.

'I'm sorry' she said to the power inside of her.

Then Alina pressed her fist to her palm and quickly expanded them, she felt like call to like as all the light in the room and outside answered her call, producing a flickering orb of light between her palms.

The two of them wore twin expressions of surprise.

Alina stared at the small floating orb. It was beautiful, a miniature sun, and she had created it.

She wondered what Aleksander thought.

The light flickered with her excitement as her focus shifted to her mentor.

Their eyes met.

He was staring straight at her with his soul truly unguarded for the first time. Maybe he didn't think she could see it, maybe he just couldn't hide it any longer, but in that moment she saw in full view what she had only sensed in fleeting moments before then.

She saw his gentle smile.

She saw the warmth in his gaze.

The way he was smiling at her, the adoration in his expression, and the something else in his eyes all set her pulse racing. Her heart did a flip. The light flickered and vanished.

Alina stared across the table through the dark into Aleksander's eyes. The room was covered in darkness but a few rays of moonlight reached the table, caressing the sharp features of his face.

"Aleksander…" Alina spoke his name, she had to. In that one word was all her hopes unspoken and bare. She didn't know what else to say. She was feeling so much and yet she couldn't focus her thoughts enough to clarify what she was trying to say.

"Alina...I…" Aleksander stopped. Guilt passing through him. He looked at her and felt his own existence for what it was. He was a ghost, long dead and buried, a shadow.

She was alive.

His eyes dimmed and his smile stiffened, "I'm proud of you Alina." He saw the brief confusion and clear disappointment on her face but hardened his heart, "You've had a long day, you should rest…We can continue this tomorrow night."

And before she could say anything or before he could say something he would regret, he left. Right through the door.

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