Part 4 – Pain

"Really Mitchel, be still." the silver-haired maid in front of me scolded me as she adjusted my bow tie.

"Yes, Belfast." I drone out as I look up and let her finish adjusting the tie.

When she's done, she wipes my shoulders with her hands and she steps back to look at me in the tuxedo that had been picked out for me. A moment later she frowns before licking her thumb and wiping my right cheek as she continues to scold me, "I saw to you, right after your shower, how did you miss that spot?"

"I didn't miss anything." I protest.

She sighs and looks down and away for a moment before asking, "Would you allow me a moment to indulge in something selfish, Mitchel?"

"Of course I would, Belfast." I say to her as I try to figure out what she's thinking.

To my surprise, she gets up on the balls of her feet to kiss my cheek before rubbing it with a gloved hand and smiling up at me as she says, "I am so proud of you, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you, every time you needed me to." She pauses and stops rubbing my cheek as she adds, "Though Her Majesty did assign me to you, I had come to enjoy the assignment. Should you and Lady Illustrious wish it, I would like to stay on and take care of you."

I nod at her as I say, "I'll talk with Illustrious about it tonight, I don't think it would be a problem, however."

I see her relax in her shoulders before she smiles and moves to the door, opening it as she says to me, "Now, off with you, lest you run late for your own wedding."

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I made my way to the cliff that we were doing this at, and honestly, I felt very nervous. On one hand, I knew that she would agree and this was just a show for those around us, yet I still felt very worried that she wouldn't agree. I take a moment to take a deep breath and center myself as I move to my position and start to wonder why I don't see Illustrious entering across from me, as was the plan. I look to my right to see Vestal standing there like was planned, looking to my left I see all of the guests, as planned, and I turn my attention back to the tree line that she should be coming from.

I stood there, waiting, for a while; it wasn't lost on me that I started to hear whispering from the crowd that had gathered, I allow myself a moment to look to Belfast. Once I have eye contact with her I look quickly to where Illustrious should be and Belfast nods before slipping out of her chair and heading over to check.

A few heartbeats later and I see Belfast, standing where Illustrious should've been, holding in one hand a veil and the other the bouquet of white roses that Illustrious had wanted to hold. My heart sank as Belfast started to walk towards me, the gasps of surprise coming up from everyone. I felt my knees get weak and I collapsed down to them, this had been such a devastating blow.

It wasn't long before I felt people hugging me from various sides; I could tell who they were just by their scents, Conqueror, Dominion, Sovereign, my mother, Howe, Yorkie, George, and Belfast. They all held me for what felt like hours, before one by one they each left, the last being Belfast. Once I was alone I looked out to the ocean and asked, "Why?"

Looking down at my feet, I see Illustrious' veil and bouquet of roses, I balled my right fist and slammed it down on the flowers, crushing them against the ground before I stood and made my way, away from this cliff.

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When I got back to the flat, I turned on the lights, taking notice that her favorite shoes were gone, I made my way into the living room, all of the pictures were still up. My next stop was the bedroom, and I saw that the closet was open, her clothes were haphazardly tossed around the room, a bag was half packed, it was clear that she left in a rush.

I feel the rage building in me, a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time now, again my fist balled and I spun around smashing it into and through the door as I let out a cry of fury. After a moment I look down at my right fist and see blood dripping down to the floor just as the sense of pain reaches my brain. Taking a second to try and center myself as I make my way to the kitchen and look around and I see a note on the table, my head tilting to the side as I pick it up and read out loud the words written on it, in her handwriting, "I'm sorry, I do love you."

I crush the paper in my hand, staining it with a bit of my blood as I snap, "Funny way of showing it!"

Tossing the note down I make my way over to the kitchen first aid kit and start to deal with the damage I did to my hand from striking the door. While I was trying to wrap it, I just couldn't get it right and I ended up throwing the whole kit down the hall at the door as I let out another call of rage. The shattering of some of the bottles in the kit was lost on me, but apparently, someone had been on the other side of the door and they opened it. However, all I could do was lean forward, resting my elbows on the counter and holding my head in my hands, feeling tears starting to roll down my cheeks.

A moment later I felt a hand start to rub my back as I hear the voice of my mother speak to me, "Oh my sweet boy."

I slowly drift towards her voice and bury my face into her shoulder, wrapping my arms around her while she kept rubbing my back and whispering to me, "Let it out, let it all out."

I stayed like that, letting out the pain I felt right now into my mother's shoulder until I had nothing left and she put me to bed.

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I didn't sleep well, the bed felt too empty, and when I opened my eyes, what I had worried was simply a bad dream had been confirmed. But my ears perked up as I hear the sound of something sizzling in a frying pan, getting out of bed I saw that I was still in the tuxedo from yesterday. Pulling open what was left of the door and looking to the kitchen, I see my mother standing there, in comfy looking sweater and pants, an apron tied around her and she was working away at the stove. Without looking at me she said over her shoulder, "Tea is ready, bangers will be ready shortly."

Without saying anything I sat down at the table and undid my shirt before looking out the window as I say to her, "I'm not feeling that hungry."

"You need to eat, Mitchel." She says to me as she takes the sausages off of the heat and comes over to me. As I go to respond, she shoves one into my mouth and adds, "I'm not taking 'no' for an answer."

With little choice in the matter, I swallow the bite and look down at my right hand and see that it's been dressed and I ask, "Why?"

My mother sips her tea and asks, "Why what?"

"Why did she run?" I ask looking back out the window.

My mother is quiet for a moment before saying something that I hadn't expected, "We kansen are permanent things, if we are maintained properly, we could exist till the human race had long ago turned to dust. I remember the vows that George and Johnathan had exchanged, but the phrase 'till death do us part', really stands out to me."

I look back to her, my head tilting to the side as I ask, "How so? Why those words exactly?"

My mother lifts the tea to her lips and sips before putting it down again as she sighs and makes it plain for me, "Forever is a long time, Mitchel. Everything else around us is temporary; the humans we know will grow old and die one day while we don't change. Perhaps it finally hit Illustrious; that she was looking down the proper meaning of those words?"

I go to protest and she reaches into a pocket on her apron and takes out a crumpled piece of paper, unfolding it on the table. Looking at it, I can see bloodstains on it, and Illustrious' handwriting, and my mother says, "I think she got scared and panicked."

I sigh and nod slowly as I ask, "But what do I do about this mom?"

She gives me a sad smile as she says to me, "That is up to you, if you feel the same, perhaps you should go and find her, if not, you should move on."

I place a hand on the note and look my mother in her eyes as I say, "I need to talk to her, so I am going to find her."

My mother places a hand on my mine as she says, "Good, you best go and talk to Sovereign, she will have the final say if you can undertake this quest." As I go to stand she gives me a look, a withering look as she adds, "But first, you need to eat and then shower."

I sigh inwardly and sit back down before tucking into the breakfast that was out before me.

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It was surprising that a shower actually had me feeling better, at least for a little bit anyway, but now I found myself outside of Sovereign's office and I can hear her stomping back and forth, yelling away in there. I sigh and push open the door to see all three of my sisters in there, Conqueror sitting in a chair, listening to Sovereign as she paces back and forth, hands on hips, her long blond hair held back in a high ponytail, her back was to me as she hollered out at Dominion, "What the hell was she thinking!? If she didn't want to go through with it, then why did she agree to it in the first place, let alone live with him for so long?! And now I'm down a carrier!"

Dominion looks over Sovereign to me, before returning her eyes to Sovereign as she shrugged and said, "As far as I knew everything was fine."

Apparently, the eye movement wasn't lost on Sovereign as she rounded on me, closed the distance, and started poking me in the chest as she snapped, "What did you do? I knew it, you were sticking your AP shell elsewhere and she found out!"

My lips compress and I shove her back a little as I yell out, "Just what the hell is your problem with me? I've done nothing, nothing but be supportive of you! I never asked to be turned into what I am; I never asked to have what should've been your hull!"

Her lips compress and she gets into my face, hers going bright red as she yells back, "I'm jealous of you! I hate the fact that you are high command's go-to when they want a battleship for something! You get to be the stick whenever we need one! You've been able to fire your guns at more than just a damn drone! I am every bit your equal, we've got the same damn guns and the same damn hull!"

My hands go up as if they have a will of their own and I shove her back hard, bouncing her off her desk, my fists balling up and I stalk towards her as I snarl out, "If you want a fight right now, I'll give you one."

I got a couple of steps in before Conqueror and Dominion got between us, our eldest sister put her hands up and said in that Scottish accent of hers, "Alright, alright, that's enough. Dom, what do you think about that thing we talked about last night?"

Dominion sighs and nods as she says, "I think it'd be for the best."

"Pack your things Thunderer, you're done here." Conqueror says, pausing before adding, "You and Sovereign are not a good fit to work together."

"And where are you going to send me?" I ask, trying to take a moment to calm myself.

She sighs before saying to me, "Pick a couple of girls to go with you to give you someone you're used to while you talk over my position in the Atlantic, I'll stay here and help get Sovereign used to running things."

I relax my hands as I look Conqueror in the eyes and ask, "And when that's done?"

"When that's done, we will figure out the next step. But we can all agree, this," she pauses to gesture between me and Sovereign before adding, "isn't working." I watch as she looks over her shoulder at Sovereign and states, rather than asks, "Alright."

Sovereign nods and lets out a defeated-sounding tone, "Alright."

Conqueror relaxes in her shoulders for a moment before turning her attention to me as she says, "Go and pick three girls to go with you, Dominion will sail back with you before returning home entirely and she'll fill you in as best as she can. Once you're back, seek out Drake, she was my right hand there, and she will get you settled in just fine."

"Fine." I say as I turn on my heels and stomp out of the office.

I hadn't gotten very far down the hall before I heard a slap come from Sovereign's office followed by Conqueror asking her, loudly, "What the hell is wrong with you? You saw what he went through yesterday; he's our bother for God's sakes! Are you incapable of putting someone else first, even for an instant?"

It was hard to keep the smirk off of my face as I made my way back to my flat and started to pack.

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I was zipping closed my duffel bag as I heard my door open, followed by a sigh and I stopped packing to see who had come by. Once I got into the living room, I saw long silver hair and a dark blue maid uniform moving around my flat, tidying up, without looking at me she spoke with an Irish accent to me, "Really, Mitchel, I understand you are heartbroken right now, but you mustn't leave things like this."

I lean against the door frame and watch Belfast go about cleaning up as I sigh out to her, "Not that it matters, I'm being sent to the Atlantic."

"For a new operation?" she asks, bending at her keens with her back to me as she picks up some scattered papers.

"No, more as a way to separate me and Sovereign; I lost my temper with her and did something stupid." I admit as I rub my left arm.

"Was anyone present?" she asks while putting the papers in order and placing them on the coffee table.

"My other sisters." I admit sheepishly before I say, "I shoved Sovereign and was about two steps away from striking her."

Belfast sighs and stands up fully to face me as she says, "Mitchel, that's not like you."

I shake my head as I say, "Part of me worries it is, part of me wants to write it off as things coming to a head."

Belfast adjusts her dress before folding her hands in front of her as she says to me, "I would like to think it is the stress of recent events coming to a head," she pauses to move over to me as she adds, "but in the event that I am wrong," again she pauses before slapping me and finishing, "you are a gentleman, and I expect better out of you, Mitchel."

I blink a few times, in the time that I had known Belfast she had never done this to me, even when I did something really stupid. I see her take her hand to cover her mouth for a moment as what she had just done hit her too as she starts to apologize to me, "Forgive me, I didn't intend to strike you."

I rub the side of my cheek as I think about it, I wasn't mad, if anything I think I might have needed it. Turning my attention to the flat I ask Belfast, "You had asked me about staying on, would you follow me to the Atlantic? Conqueror told me to pick three girls to go with me to help me get used to the new station."

For a split second I see her smile before she hides it under her usual passive look as she says, "If that is your wish, then as your maid, I must comply."

I sigh and hang my head as I say to her, "I don't want a maid." I pause and turn to walk back into the bedroom as I say over my shoulder, "I want a friend."

I was just about to close the door as she whispers out, "I could be that."

Turning around I say to her, "Then you can help me figure out who else to bring along, we are going to be escorting Dominion back as far as the Atlantic HQ."

Belfast pushes some hair behind an ear and looks down, clearly trying to hide a smile as she says, "Okay, we'll need at least one more person upfront with me serving as a picket ship."

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I was surprised how fast we had managed to narrow down the fleet for this trip, myself, my mother at her insistence, Belfast, Javelin, and Leander. Right now however I was standing at the docks and I looked around, it wasn't lost on me that Illustrious' hull was gone. I felt a hand on my shoulder as I hear Dominion ask, "What's on your mind, little brother?"

"She's really gone." I say to her.

Dominion sighs and pats my shoulder as she says, "I don't know why she ran, but I'm sure she had her reasons."

Reaching into a pocket on my jacket I take out that blood-stained note and hand it over to Dominion as I say to her, "Then this just makes things more confusing."

Dominion lets go of me and started to read the note, I see her take on a puzzled expression as she says, "Well, this doesn't exactly line up with her actions."

I roll my red eyes as I sigh out, "I know."

"I'll sniff around with the Home Fleet to see if we can figure anything out, you should do the same with the Atlantic fleet." She says before handing me back the note and making her way to her hull.

Tucking it back into my jacket I made my way to my hull and started to pull away from the docks, this trip was going to afford me some time to think about this.

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A/N: Alright, alright, I lied about what this chapter was going to be, but as I was writing it, I started to get the feeling about how long forever really is, and how it would really feel to beings that are more or less immortal. What I mean by that is, how they would feel about taking on such a commitment, it would be such a daunting thing that it might spook them at the last moment.