It was earlier in the day than Annabeth had realized. Perseus's window must have been facing the sun, because it was barely light out when she reached the upper deck. That was good news for her, and even better because the only two people there were Leo and Fai. She could easily pretend she'd just woken early and snuck out without waking anyone.
Leo was working on something complicated in the far corner of the deck. Annabeth considered approaching him, offering to help, but something held her back. He looked deep in concentration, and Annabeth's head was a bit fuzzy with lack of sleep. She didn't want to mess up whatever he was doing.
That left Fai, who was standing at the bow of the ship, staring off into the sea. His bow was in his hands, a quiver of arrows slung over his shoulder. Annabeth noticed that Hazel's long cavalry sword was strapped to his side as well, though he seemed less inclined to use it.
Annabeth hesitated. She almost didn't want to interrupt him since he looked so deep in thought, but she also couldn't leave without anyone seeing her. He didn't even notice her until she was nearly right next to him, and even then she startled him.
"Sorry," she said, wincing and taking a step back, "I didn't mean to surprise you."
Fai was already shaking his head vigorously, a red blush creeping up his neck.
"No, it's not your fault. I was just— distracted."
"Understandable," Annabeth said, glancing out to the empty sea. The view hadn't changed in the past few days, but now after the pirate attack it felt a bit… hostile. In some ways it was safer than regular terrain, since they could— barring the fog that had crept up on them the night before— see enemies coming, but that also meant there was no way to hide or escape. Annabeth was finding she much preferred fighting with her feet on solid ground. Fai just nodded, and Annabeth had a feeling he probably agreed with her.
"Has there been any trouble?" Annabeth asked, if only to break the growing silence.
"None at all, though I suppose that's fairly meaningless at this point," Fai said. It should have been good news that they hadn't been disturbed, but Annabeth knew he was right. Everything that had caused problems for them so far had been successful at completely catching them off guard.
"That ship came from nowhere last night," Annabeth said, barely suppressing a shudder, "The fog made it hard to see, but still. They must have used some kind of magic."
That, or the two people on guard duty had been incredibly distracted, staring at stars and each other instead of the open ocean. Annabeth felt a stab of guilt at that, though even if they had seen the ship approaching (which she still wasn't entirely convinced they would have, even if they had been paying attention) there would probably be very little they could have done. She wasn't quite willing to admit that indiscretion in front of Fai, though.
"That was a little too close of a call for my liking," Fai said.
"And mine," Annabeth agreed, rolling her bad shoulder. It was an unconscious gesture, but it still caused a little spike of pain.
"At least you managed to come up with some sort of plan," Fai said, his eyes flickering away from hers, back onto the horizon, "If you hadn't thought to hide your knife we'd all be dead by now. I just completely froze up."
Something told Annabeth that Fai had been beating himself up about this all night, even though he had no reason to. There'd been pretty much nothing he could have done. If anything it was Annabeth's fault for not paying enough attention on guard and getting them into that situation in the first place.
"You all were ambushed, I got lucky and had a few seconds to think. And if it had just been me, I'd be dead just the same. It was a group effort."
He gave a sort of dry laugh.
"I suppose. Though I can't say I feel like I contributed much."
That was fair enough, although it wasn't like Piper or Leo had been able to help much either.
"We all have skill sets that fit specific situations," Annabeth said, "If it had been pure combat you would have been much more suited to it than me. Besides, it isn't like you did nothing. I'm sure being transformed into a dolphin was… unpleasant."
Fai snorted, mostly without humor.
"It was actually sort of informative. Not that that came from any real effort on my part."
Annabeth had almost forgotten about Fai's gift that he supposedly had— the ability to transform into any animal. Considering how real Hazel's magic had felt the few times she had experienced it, Annabeth could see how it might, in a weird, twisted sort of way, have been helpful.
"Did you figure it out? Your gift, I mean."
"Not yet," Fai said, with a dejected shake of his head, "I think I'm getting close, though. I talked to Perseus last night, and he gave me some advice, but I just…"
He trailed off. His hand had been inching closer and closer to the pouch he always carried on his belt, and now his fingers were twisting around the leather straps, the way he always seemed to do when he was nervous.
"What did he say?" Annabeth asked, curiously. Fai shrugged in an uncomfortable sort of way.
"That powers derived from the sea work best unrestrained. He thinks that there's something internal holding me back, that I have to be willing to… let go, I guess, or it won't work."
His fingers tightened on the straps. Annabeth wondered if the root cause of Fai's internal struggle was residing in that leather pouch.
"You know what it is, don't you?" Annabeth asked. It was probably too forward a question, but it felt so obvious to her that she couldn't help but say it. Her eyes shifted from the pouch around his belt to his face, which was now wearing a guarded expression.
"You don't have to tell me," Annabeth said, quickly, "But it just seems like…"
She trailed off, not entirely sure how to finish the sentence. Fai sighed, finally letting his hand fall back down by his side.
"I guess it's just that being aware of it doesn't really make the problem go away," he said, slowly, carefully, like his words were glass, and one wrong one would shatter them all.
Annabeth bit her lip, debating her next move.
"It's just— I had a secret, a big one," she started, carefully. It was probably idiotic to be admitting this, even in vague terms like she was, considering the secret was still one she kept guarded to everyone beyond one person. But looking at Fai, at his cautiously hopeful expression, she felt compelled to continue.
"I swore I would never tell anyone, and I didn't, not for years and years. And that wasn't without reason, either, but I guess… I just didn't realize how much it was weighing on me until I told someone. And once I did, it was like— like the whole world opened up to me. Even just one person knowing, it all became a lot less terrifying."
Annabeth was realizing as she spoke that she had barely even processed the feelings she was articulating out loud, but she knew in her heart that they were true. Telling Perseus had changed everything, almost entirely for the better. Part of it was understanding herself and her own roots more fully, but part of it was genuinely just the relief of not bearing a burden alone anymore.
Fai bit his lip, considering. His fingers twitched, like he wanted to touch his pouch again, but he seemed to suppress the urge.
"Do you really think it would help? Having someone else know, I mean."
"I do," Annabeth said. Even not knowing the specifics of his problem, she felt confident about that much. "You should tell Hazel,"
Fai balked, which Annabeth had been half-expecting. The two were clearly close, but Fai also obviously had something of a crush on Hazel. Annabeth wasn't all that amazing at reading signals herself, but from observing their interactions the past few days, she would be willing to wager that Hazel returned his feelings. But it wasn't Annabeth's place to meddle with that, nor was it entirely related to the conversation at hand.
"But she— I don't, I mean— she's—"
"Your closest friend?" Annabeth suggested, trying to keep her voice free of amusement, "And I'm fairly sure you're hers too. I mean, I wouldn't come on a quest like this if anyone other than my best friends had asked me."
"She didn't want to come, though," Fai pointed out. His face was red.
"But she didn't seem all that upset when the tables turned, either," Annabeth argued, "Not to mention she only agreed to help us in the first place because of you. Plus she showed you where her house was, and put a protection on you. I mean, she even leant you her sword," Annabeth gestured towards Hazel's gold sword, which was strapped to Fai's side.
"She trusts you, and she cares about you. You know at the very least she wouldn't use whatever this is against you."
"I guess that's true." Fai conceded, albeit reluctantly, "I just— I've always seen this as my burden. It seems unfair to saddle someone else with it too."
Annabeth just shrugged. She understood the feeling to a certain extent, but being on the other side of it all she also realized how the act of sharing was not in itself a burden.
"All you're asking is for her to hear you out. Whether or not she wants to carry it with you is up to her, but I think she would."
Fai finally smiled, small but true.
"You don't even know what it is," he pointed out.
Annabeth just shrugged, unconcerned. Talking around the actual issue had somehow made the conversation easier for her. It was a lot like gambling— knowing when to bet, and when to call. She was willing to bet on Fai and Hazel's relationship, even if she didn't know Fai's hand.
"I don't think I need to. I'm not wrong, am I?"
"No, I don't think so," Fai said, his smile growing marginally wider.
Annabeth wasn't sure how the conversation would have continued if Jason and Hazel hadn't emerged from below deck. Hazel was saying something to Jason, who was laughing.
"I'm gonna…" Fai trailed off, eyes trained on Hazel.
"Good luck," Annabeth said, giving him an encouraging smile. He returned it shyly before walking away towards Hazel. She and Jason had separated, and now Fai was speaking to her. Annabeth was too far away to hear, but she saw Hazel nod, and then they disappeared below deck.
Jason glanced back at them, a little curiously, but he kept walking towards Annabeth.
"You're up early," she said, when he was close enough to hear. Jason was disciplined in many things, but waking up at a reasonable hour was not one of them. He gave her a half-hearted smile, but it didn't entirely reach his eyes.
"I figured being awake was better than the dreams," he said, coming up next to her to lean against the bow, the same as she was doing. Annabeth felt a shot of anxiety race to her stomach.
"Dreams?" she asked. He just nodded glumly, staring out into the sea.
It made sense, of course. She had figured the onslaught of her strange dreams had been triggered by Perseus's presence, but the farther they got into this quest, the closer they got to Athens and whatever danger lay there, the more likely it was that everyone else was going to start seeing things too. Jason himself had said the other day that he was surprised more of them hadn't yet. Maybe he'd spoken it into reality.
"What… what did you see?" Annabeth asked, cautiously. Jason grimaced.
"Nothing particularly useful. Some of the same things Perseus described earlier, but it was just flashes, mostly."
Annabeth knew him well enough to tell that he was holding something back, that he'd probably seen more than he was telling her. He was good at hiding it, but she recognized the tension in his shoulders and jaw, the way he was holding onto the railing just a fraction of a degree too tightly.
She didn't call him out on it, though. For one thing, it would have been hypocritical of her after she'd refused to share the details of her own dream to Perseus just this morning. For another, she knew that if he thought she really needed to know what he'd seen, he would tell her.
"Weren't you on watch last night?" Jason asked, looking back at her as if suddenly processing that she was here, "Why are you up so early?"
Annabeth shrugged one shoulder— her good shoulder.
"I slept badly," she said, which wasn't a lie. It wasn't exactly the truth either, though, and that gave her a small twinge of guilt. "Though I suppose that's sort of unsurprising, all things considered."
"Nothing like a near death experience to kick off a good night's rest," Jason said sarcastically. Annabeth didn't laugh, though she half-wanted to. It would be easier to laugh off the memory, scrub it away as it had never happened, but even now looking at Jason it felt like someone was squeezing her heart.
"It scared me," Annabeth said. Jason turned to look at her, blue eyes just a touch surprised.
"Jason, there were a few seconds when I thought… I really thought he was going to win."
I really thought you were going to die, would have been a more accurate statement, but she couldn't bring herself to say it.
She'd barely had time to process it last night, being strung out on poison without even knowing it, but now healed in the light of day she realized just how much the incident had shaken her. He and Piper had been her best friends for almost ten years, and the thought of losing either one of them was unfathomable.
Annabeth had been scared before of losing them in other ways— losing their friendship and love to her secrets and deception. But faced with the much worse possibility of either of them dying, she realized that her previous fears were not as fatal as she'd thought. She could survive both of them hating her, as long as they were alright.
Jason didn't know any of that. But from the way he was looking at her, she would almost swear he could read her mind.
"I was scared too," Jason said, finally, his voice uncharacteristically soft, "Not just for me, but you and Piper too. When he was standing over you like that I just— I felt so helpless."
The words were shocking, not so much for their content but for the fact that he'd said them aloud. Being the son of Jupiter had forced him to consider every word and action carefully. Showing fear would be the same thing as showing weakness, and he couldn't allow himself to be either. If he was admitting out loud that something had scared him, he had to be just as shaken up as her, if not more.
Suddenly Annabeth couldn't stand it any longer. She stepped forward and hugged Jason. He hugged her back with barely half a second of hesitation. She felt some of the tension in his shoulders drain away.
Annabeth tried not to think about how this might be one of the last times she could give him affection that he would accept. She was already blinking tears out of her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said, into her shoulder, "It's my fault you're here in the first place. If you had died I never would have forgiven myself."
Annabeth felt a swoop of guilt in her stomach at his words. It wasn't fair of him to be beating himself up over bringing her along— he didn't even know it, but she had just as much stake in this quest as he did, maybe even more.
"Don't be sorry," she said, pulling back, "You know I never would have let you leave me behind."
The corners of his mouth turned up in amusement. It was a small smile, but she would take it.
"No, I suppose you wouldn't have."
"Not to mention Octavian's gone rogue," Annabeth added, "He already tried to kill me before we left. If I had stayed he probably would have succeeded."
The amusement faded from his face as quickly as it had come.
"I'm not entirely innocent in that either. He essentially told me where his loyalties lied a hundred times over, and I ignored it."
"We can share the blame for that one," Annabeth said, firmly, "I should have taken his threats more seriously. We both underestimated him."
Jason opened his mouth, like he was going to protest. Then he frowned, little lines of concern appearing between his brows.
"What happened to your chin?"
Whatever Annabeth had been expecting him to say, it hadn't been that.
"What?" she asked, her fingers instinctually flying to the spot Jason was looking at.
"It looks bruised," Jason said, his gaze shifting from her chin back up to her eyes.
"Oh," Annabeth said, realization crashing down on her. She could already feel heat rising in her cheeks, even as she willed it back down.
"The pirates were a bit rough," she said, which wasn't entirely a lie, but was technically a misleading piece of information in the context of the question he'd asked, "One of them hit me there, I guess it must have marked."
That was not at all how the bruise had gotten on Annabeth's skin, and she had to shove down the memory of how it had gotten there, lest she blush even more. Damn Perseus for making a mark in such an obvious spot.
Though, now that her own fingers were touching the bruise, and her excuse about how it had come to be was fresh in her mind, she realized that he'd put it in the exact spot that Chrysoar had touched her.
Whether he'd done it intentionally or if it had been some unconscious instinct, she wasn't sure. She was sure she should be having more complex thoughts about the implications of it either way, but all she could think of now was how much she preferred the memory of his lips against her skin than that of the pirate's fingers.
"Are you alright?" Jason asked, putting a steadying hand on her shoulder, "You look… I don't even know."
"Exhausted?"
Annabeth nearly jumped in surprise. She'd been so wrapped up in her conversation with Jason that she hadn't even noticed Perseus rising from below deck walking towards them. He was basically right next to them now, and apparently had not abandoned his earlier vendetta of making Annabeth go back to sleep.
They'd been around each other plenty of times, but for some reason seeing Perseus and Jason standing next to each other now felt strange. They were similar in so many ways, and opposite in so many others.
"You do look tired," Jason said, pulling back his hand, though he still looked worried. He was barely an inch taller than Perseus, and it showed as he straightened up. It surprised her a little. For some reason Annabeth had had it in her head that Perseus was taller.
"Maybe you should try and go back to sleep," Perseus suggested innocently. If Jason hadn't been there she would have swatted his arm.
"I'm fine," Annabeth insisted. She knew she was being needlessly stubborn; now that she'd successfully hidden last night's whereabouts there was absolutely no reason why she shouldn't.
No reason, except that she never wanted to dream again as long as she lived. But she couldn't exactly complain about that in front of Jason.
"Maybe you should try," Jason agreed, though he at least had the decency to sound apologetic, "We have more than enough people up here, and you should rest while you can."
Annabeth sighed, knowing she was outnumbered. Something in her felt a little nervous to leave the two of them essentially alone, without her as a buffer. The air always seemed to feel heavier when they were around each other, like a fire just waiting to start.
But then again, they'd handled the storm together without incident. There was no real reason for her to believe there would be an issue.
"Fine," she surrendered, "But I should probably wait until Hazel and Fai come back up, their conversation seemed private."
She was mostly using them as an excuse— if Piper was still down there asleep, then they'd probably chosen another room for their conversation. Unfortunately, Perseus took her reason as an opportunity rather than an obstruction.
"You can use my bed," he suggested easily, as if she was not already intimately familiar with it, having just spent most of the night there, "It'll be empty, and more comfortable than the floor anyways."
Annabeth risked a glance at Jason, but he either didn't find anything unusual about the suggestion, or was hiding it exceptionally well. Annabeth was finding she was a little too tired to care either way.
"Fine," she said again, "Wake me up at noon, if I'm not already."
She had a feeling neither of them would, but she felt the need to say it anyways. She was at least glad that Perseus had offered his bed— it truly was much more comfortable than a bedroll on the floor. Annabeth barely had time to process her exhaustion washing over her before she had drifted off to sleep.