Asperatus: An extremely rare, ominous-looking cloud formation that can be both terrifying and mesmerizing. Although they appear dark and storm-like, they almost always dissipate without a storm forming.
Chapter Summary: All roads lead to Rome.
A/N: You have waited long enough for this and will probably skip this so see you at the end for the super long notes.
Special thanks to Dag and Jack who helped me beta during different periods of this fic. Without you, this would be still in shambles.
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Everything she owns fits in a suitcase: thick winter clothes, a scrapbook filled with polaroids, a pack of tightly wrapped letters with childish inscriptions of her name on the envelope, and Agasa's only-once-worn polka dot dress.
It's a shame and a relief that she can't wear the thing tomorrow when she leaves— a shame that Hakase's lucky charm is too off-season for the neverending winter that'll follow the next four years of her life, and a relief that she's got a valid excuse not to step into the cursed damn ugly thing ever again.
Maybe it's for the best, she thinks. The last thing she'd want for the old man's gift is for it to become a rite of passage, a token of impromptu farewells and untimely goodbyes.
There isn't anyone left for her to say goodbye to, anyway.
So she folds it back and stuffs it in the bottom of her suitcase. She tears off the memories pinned to her white wall and picks up the succulents sprouting on her balcony, setting them to take root again in the colorful pots carefully assorted on Nakamura's window sill.
Soon her suitcase is filled with snippets of her new life, miscellaneous trinkets she couldn't bear to leave behind.
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(Attention. Would Miyano Shiho-San please contact the Lost and Found Center. Would Miyano Shiho-San…)
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She doesn't know what to expect as she rushes to the lost and found counter, dragging her heavy suitcase behind to the far end of the terminal. The white and blue sign marking her destination barely stands out in the crowd, faintly overshadowed by the blinding spotlights; the man standing by it, however, she could never miss.
What a curious sight to behold—
Half of her heart by the Lost and Found, her red umbrella twisted in a tight grip between his hands. On his lips, that apologetic smile she has become so used to.
Her heart trumps at the beat of his footsteps, fast and hard as he almost runs to meet her halfway. Shinichi's face lights up with every step he makes towards her, his eyes soft, smile wide and unabashedly happy. She's promptly overcome by a sense of deja vu, not sure if seeing him there is a reminder of their first goodbye or the last time he showed up unannounced before her. Resigned, happy, annoyed and undeniably touched by his mere presence, she can't help but smile back.
"Ever heard of texting before?" Shiho fails to deadpan, the corner of her lips shooting up against her better judgement when he heaves a short-breathed greeting at her.
"Nice to see you too, Shiho," Shinichi scoffs in good humor, his eyes charged with a kind of fondness that never fails to make her knees soft. He sweeps his bangs off his face, smiling as if he has any business being the one feeling bewildered.
Shiho jerks her head towards the subject to his torture, her red umbrella creaking softly under the pressure of his fingers, and asks, "I don't suppose you've come all the way here just to return this?"
"Ah," he swiftly looks at the tortured artifact in his hands and makes a gesture that's something between a laugh and a guilty wince. "You could at least pretend it was a good excuse."
"Again, it's not my fault that you're a lousy liar. Try harder next time."
To her surprise, her words are met with a bemused expression, "I don't want to get better at lying to you."
She's taken aback by his mindless answer, moved by the sincerity of his words. Letting out a small puff of breath, she takes back the umbrella, unsure how to reply.
Shinichi blushes red at their tacit understanding, suddenly embarrassed by his own spontaneous outburst. He, too, seems to be at a loss of words.
And she can't bring herself to ask him why are you here this time, because she's honestly terrified of hearing the answer. It's not like she's looking forward to missing him for the next four years— it's not like he's making it any easier by reminding her of what she's missing.
"This… this isn't what we agreed on, though."
"I know you told me not to come," he assents, the momentary giddiness of meeting each other again dissipating as he draws his brows together into a serious expression. His cobalt eyes find hers, and they are adamant to linger. "But I don't want to have any regrets this time."
This time?
"What kind of regrets?" she puzzles, curious at his particular word choice. They had a proper goodbye last time, so she wasn't aware he'd left anything unsaid.
"Well, it looks like I already let you walk away from me once, and I don't want to make the same mistake again. I don't want to have any more regrets about you. And I know it's overdue, I know you're probably over me. I know it's my own fault for not realizing this sooner," he takes her hand gently, hesitant in case she'd pull away. His grip gets tighter when she doesn't, warmth spreading all over her heart as his fills with newfound courage. "But I'm thoroughly, and most definitely in love with you, Miyano Shiho— whoever the hell you are, whoever you choose to be, I don't care. I want to learn everything about you, what you love and hate about yourself and what you're yet to discover. And if this isn't where you want to be, if I can't make you stay... then I'm asking you, please, would you at least give me the right to follow?"
She doesn't expect his words to overwhelm her the way they do, and her body reacts faster than her mind can fully process their meaning. She finds herself blinking back the sudden tears that swell in her eyes, her heart aching in a confused mix of happiness and heartbreak.
"When I said I couldn't throw everything away, I didn't mean you had to."
"What's the use of everything, when you're not on that list?"
"But Kudo-kun, your whole life is here: your friends, your job— you've made a name for yourself! It's not the same for me."
"Nothing I haven't lost once before," he says calmly, his heartfelt stare making it impossible for her to look away. "Nothing I can't live without."
"This... is insanity," her voice breaks at his implication, and she's unsure if to smile or cry, or be mad or amused at this ludicrous situation. She knows him and she's seen him do dumb, stupid things that go against reason, common sense clouded by this thing he calls love, but she never imagined she'd be the recipient of such impulsive gestures. Finding it hard to understand —let alone accept— she presses, "How do you know you won't regret leaving all this behind?"
"Because I've lost you too, before," he brings his free hand to touch her face, marveled at the heat that seeps through her rosy cheeks and laces through his fingers. "And that's not something I want to live with."
"What if it doesn't work out—?" She covers the hand that cups on her cheek with her own trembling fingers, unsure if she wants to pull away or keep him in place. But the warmth that emanates from his palm is addictive in a soothing way, and she lets her fingers linger over his a little bit longer as she stalls on making that decision.
"What if we end up hating each other? What if we can't be friends anymore? What if we royally screw this up and I lose you forever?" Shinichi blurts out all her fears like a string of arrows hitting a target, clear and heart-piercing in their honesty. "Don't you think I'm scared too? There's so many things, so many ways we could end up regretting this— but none of them, none make letting this go worth it, because if I lose you, there's nothing else left for me to lose."
"We've got everything to lose... and you still want to make that gamble? You know that fate has never been on our side."
"You say that the timing is not right for us, but I don't believe in fate. I believe in what I feel, and in doing something about it. A lot of things can happen in four years, and I'm not willing to take that risk."
She pauses for a brief moment to take his words in, with all his earnestness, and she finds that she's run out of reasons to deny herself that little speckle of selfish happiness that comes with taking a leap of faith and allowing him into her life— that small step that could potentially ruin them both or be the catalyst of a future she never dared dreamed of. When she strips down the guilt and her past demons, she's left bare facing what her heart truly wants, a feeling so clear it can't be disguised by fearful excuses.
"Kudo, if we try this... if we try this and it doesn't work out, if we walk away— we walk away. That's it. I can't be your friend after this, I can't... go through this again, I can't get over you again—"
"Don't get over me," he breathes, his hands reaching to grab her hair, her face. Foreheads touching, he holds on to her and this moment as they breathe each other in. "Don't. I love you."
"I love you too," Shiho admits, her voice barely a whisper. "I always have."
He breaks into a choked, relieved laugh, and all at once they both can't hold the tears that fall down like pouring rain. But like passing clouds, too, they soon dissipate into the brightest smiles, of sunshine and joy and impossible dreams come true.
"Is that a yes?" Shinichi's thumbs gently brush away the dampness on her cheeks, his lips softly pressing against her forehead before he pulls her into a warm embrace. "Then let's go!"
Shiho buries her face into his coat, the scent of him engulfing her with a sense of belonging she's never quite felt before. Hands on his lapel, she holds onto the only piece of home she's ever known.
"...Let's go."
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He spends the long hours of the flight watching the colorful clouds paint the firmament an impossible shade of red, wondering why no matter how terrifying a sky framed by asperitas might seem, the magnitude of its beauty will always overshadow its fear.
He wonders if thunderstorms and blizzards will outnumber the sunny days, if their path is filled with landslides and quicksand and thorns around the way— it'd make sense if it is, but things that are worth fighting for can't be achieved by taking shortcuts.
Everything he needs fits in a suitcase: last winter's clothes, a small bag of personal items, a letter of acceptance from Cambridge's criminology program and the retractable red umbrella that once walked them through the streets of Kyoto on a snowy night.
And everything they love is finally at the touch of their hands —either by chance, by fate or pure devotion, it doesn't matter— because when heroes fall in love with mad scientists, they'll reach far and beyond until they can touch the sky.
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A/N: Well, holy shit. It has ended. It has finally ended, and I'm honestly at the verge of tears, not because i'm moved by my own story or because i'm sad it ended, but because this fic was the reason i became so invested in this fandom, and it's been five long years in which I've laughed and cried and met with people who absolutely own my heart and others who have completely shattered it. I wouldn't take it back for the world. And for those who've always nagged and asked about this story- thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, because without your insistence I would have never known you were still waiting for an ending, I would have never thought this was a story worth continuing. I'm infinitely grateful of all the reviews and comments I've gotten over the years, even when I couldn't reply to all of them, rest assured that I've read them over and over and over again, as a source of motivation and reminder that I was able to show you a piece of my heart and you were kind enough to acknowledge it.
So it ends here, but it's a brief goodbye- we have coai discord and coai week and fanzines coming soon this year, and i'm really excited to show you what we've been up to!
And, if you managed to make it here, please leave a comment , it will make me extremely happy