Disclaimer: not mine

No action in this one, sorry.

Chapter 21

Riku was confused to wake up and see Kairi in the chair across from the bed, asleep in what had to be an uncomfortable position. He stroked his hand through Sora's hair, checking the time, so he kept up the gentle touch as the cycle came to an end, feeling Sora shift as he came out of it, gently removing the receiver for him. "Morning," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the now bare skin.

"Morning," Sora responded. "Kairi?" he asked in confusion.

"She didn't wake me when she came in," Riku admitted, reaching across Sora to put the receiver back on the machine. He let his hand rest on Sora's side after that.

He smiled as Sora shifted back a bit, pressing even closer to him, not reacting to what he could surely feel. He had only reacted to that the first time they had slept together but then had seemed to realise it was normal and so since then simply ignored it. Riku had realised Sora's body didn't do the same during Regeneration but then it wasn't actual sleep. Of course the fact he'd checked those files back on Voyager didn't help matters and the few dreams he'd had since then… he pressed another kiss to the bare skin of Sora's throat, willing to take any chance for affection presented but he would stop if Sora showed any sign of discomfort or asked.

Sora rolled over to face him, seeming to search for something in his expression. Then he leant in and kissed him, cuddling close, and Riku happily kissed back, only to be surprised when Sora tentatively deepened the kiss, but he was happy to let Sora do whatever he wanted. They kissed slowly, Sora wrapping his arms around Riku, so he felt free to hold on in return. It felt really good…and then he realised why Sora's eyes were closed, the slight tightening in the skin, and he pulled back.

"You're hurting yourself," he whispered, not wanting to wake Kairi. He moved his hands to gently massage Sora's temples.

"Do not care," Sora answered, voice strained. His hands tightened in Riku's loose shirt, clinging.

Riku kissed his temple. "I don't want you to be in pain."

"So long as the implants are there, it's unavoidable," Sora pointed out. "I…I want to feel things Riku." Sora freed one hand to stroke his face, and Riku leant into his touch. "I can handle pain, nothing could ever hurt as much as Assimilation."

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Kairi kept her eyes closed, faking sleep as they talked. She'd seen them kissing, more than the soft kiss she'd received, and had been glad to see Sora reacting so freely, but to find out it had been hurting him… To accept that it would hurt if he let himself feel for Riku… she felt kind of ill as he mentioned how much Assimilation had hurt. Keyblade wielders were no strangers to pain but by the sound of it, that had been a million times worse than anything he had been through before. She opened her eyes slightly to find Sora still had his back to her, but Riku caught her gaze. She shook her head slightly, letting him know she didn't want to interrupt, to let him deal with it. It was obvious that Sora was more comfortable with him at the moment, and that was fine, he needed the support.

"Riku please," Sora whispered.

While she hated Sora being in pain, if he actually wanted to try and be closer, then she wanted Riku to say yes. She wanted Sora back, for him to feel free to embrace his emotions.

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"Riku please." He wanted to try, he really did.

He accepted that there would be pain so long as the implants were present, but there was no guarantee that even Starfleet medical could remove the upgraded design, he may have to live with them for the rest of his life. He didn't know if he what he felt was truly love but he definitely felt something for Riku, for both of them. He had his memories back, but the emotions attached to them were dulled, sometimes missing altogether, even though he didn't understand why. It was part of why he had turned down seeing his Mum, not just due to World Order, he remembered her but…he barely felt anything for her.

He stared into cyan eyes, unable to explain, and then Riku leant in, kissing him, hand sliding back to cup the back of his head rather than stroke his temple. Riku's tongue flicked over his lips and he parted them, letting Riku deepen it this time. He tightened his grip again but then let go of Riku's shirt to press against his back, feeling the warmth of his skin through the material. He could feel his heart speeding up, his lungs working harder as if he were working with Tom and Harry in the Holodeck…but it felt better than exercise. He was aware of his body beginning to produce increased amounts of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, and even adrenaline, knowing they were meant to make him feel good, the biological response to kissing and he was surprised his body was still able to do that. He felt the pain in his head too, but he ignored it. It wasn't at critical levels yet so there was no danger of a forced shut down.

He knew Kairi was awake, had heard her breathing change and was grateful she was staying quiet. Was that wrong? Was it wrong to want this with Riku and not her, not yet? But…he pulled back and Riku immediately tensed, so Sora smiled at him, before turning to his head to see her faking sleep on the chair.

"Kairi," he called her name, and she opened her eyes. He freed a hand from Riku's back and reached for her, seeing her eyes go wide, but then she got up and approached the bed. He looked at Riku who shifted back on the bed till his back was against the wall and Sora went with him, leaving room on the bed.

"Sora…" she trailed off, and he needed to explain.

"I can't…not yet," he stopped and closed his eyes, trying to get everything right in his head.

"You're not ready for anything more with Kairi than last night," Riku offered, and Sora managed to nod. "But you want to get used to her being here," he continued. How did Riku always know what he wanted to say?

"Is that it?" Kairi asked, reaching out to touch his cheek.

Sora nodded, opening his eyes at her touch, and pressed his hand to hers, even as she smiled at him.

"Okay," she lifted the blankets and got under them, lying at his back. "Can I touch you?" she asked, and he managed to nod, feeling her shift closer, the warmth of her body sinking into his body even as she carefully wrapped an arm around his waist. He felt her kiss his throat…the metal implant that took up most of that side, and she didn't flinch from it. "Thank you," she whispered. "I like watching you two kiss," she told him, "it feels like something that should have happened years ago."

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"Not mad?" Sora asked.

"No Sora, I understand, Riku's been there for you when I couldn't be, you've had time with him that we haven't," she assured him.

She was amazed that Sora had allowed her to join them in the bed, to be right against his back with an arm around his waist. She wished she could have been there from the start, to have helped him regain his memories, but she was there now.

"I love you Sora and I will do whatever it takes to help you," she promised. "Whatever you need, all you have to do is ask, even if it's time alone, or with Riku, me, anyone you want." She felt him shaking slightly, felt Riku tighten his hold on Sora.

"Kairi's right Sora, whatever you need, even if I hate seeing you put yourself in pain to get what you want," Riku agreed.

There had to be something they could do about that! A Replica? Maybe…or it would simply recreate them since Sora had had them for several years. But still, maybe Master Ansem and his Apprentices could find some way to remove them without causing more damage, or turn them off at least.

Riku met her eyes and she nodded, so he leant in and kissed Sora again, and she was happy to feel Sora relax again, daring to gently stroke his hip. She could feel the pain his implants were giving him and wished something as simple as a Cure spell could help. She gently reached out with her powers as a Princess of Heart, nearly biting her lip as she felt the pain he carried in his own Heart, but then she went to work trying to help sooth that.

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Aqua smiled at the three when they finally emerged to join them. They seemed at peace which was a relief. She had been worried that Kairi would feel left out with how close Sora and Riku were but to her happiness, when Sora sat on the couch he smiled at Kairi who sat down and laid her head on his shoulder, an arm around his waist from the back. Riku perched on the arm of the couch, looking relaxed too. It was a pity that Sora and Riku would be leaving in a few days, it didn't give them much time together as a full group, unless she was going with them?

"Kairi?" her friend spoke up before she could.

"Yes Terra?" Kairi asked without budging.

"Will you be going with them back to Voyager?" he asked.

Sora blinked but then turned his head to look down at her as if waiting for her to answer… she had only come last night, perhaps he hadn't thought to ask yet?

Kairi stared at Terra before sitting up and turning sideways on the couch to face Sora, gently taking his metallic hand in hers. "Sora, would you like me to come this time?" she asked gently. "It's okay if you're not ready to have me there, but I am very willing to go if you are. I would like to meet your friends and give them my thanks. Just think about it, okay?" she asked, and Sora nodded. She smiled and slowly leant in, kissing his cheek when he didn't pull away.

Aqua smiled at them, relieved to see that Sora was accepting affection from her. She hoped that would help him heal from the guilt he carried. She didn't have to be a Princess of Heart or connected to Sora to realise he was holding onto a lot of guilt over whatever he had been made to do when under control. She may not have known Sora for very long at all, but even she could see the massive changes in him since he had vanished and while some of that could be because of the machines in his brain, she knew a lot of it was beating himself up over guilt. She dreaded to think what those Borg beings had made him do.

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Kairi grinned at Sora as they faced each other, practice swords in hand. Ven had warned her that Sora was having to learn a new way of fighting because of the changes to his body which should make their match interesting. She'd never fought Sora before, though she'd seen him fight plenty of times. That knowledge would do her no good now though, so they were on equal footing.

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Sora packed up his things, hesitating over a few, and then leant back into the warm body as firm but gentle hands rested on his waist.

"What's wrong," Riku asked in concern, leaning down slightly to kiss his cheek and then down his throat.

It felt really nice, so did the fact his implants didn't do a thing. Huh, maybe gradual increases in things would cause them to adapt? That would be nice.

"Voyager is often in danger, personal quarters can be damaged," he said.

"Then leave whatever you want to here, no one will damage it or even come in here except to air the room for our next visit," Riku promised before moving away to start his own packing.

Sora nodded, picking up an old model he had made as a kid, before ever learning of the Keyblade. He carefully wrapped it up and packed it in his bag to use in his quarters. "Riku?"

"Yeah Sora?"

"Maybe you could move into my quarters? It would lessen the strain on resources for the ship and they're bigger than your guest ones."

"You sure?" Riku looked over at him, and Sora nodded.

"Kairi too," he whispered, and Riku's eyes widened.

He put his shirt down and walked back over to him, taking hold of his hands. "Sora you don't need to rush this."

Sora shook his head. "I'll be in my alcove, Riku. The bed is big enough for the two of you at night and it is big enough for all three of us during the day if I want to dream and you join me. I…I want to get used to Kairi being there Riku, I do. I feel the same way for both of you, I just can't…"

"Shh," Riku tugged him closer, leaning their foreheads against each other. "It's okay, I understand," he promised, before kissing him gently. "I'll tell Kairi to start packing, unless you want to?"

Sora hesitated but then shook his head so Riku nodded and left to tell her. He took a deep breath and went back to packing. It didn't take long and then he went to the window, looking out over the grounds, so different to when it had been Castle Oblivion, what little he remembered of that time which was basically seeing the castle in the distance and then when they'd come with Aqua to retrieve Ventus.

"You'll come back, right?"

Sora turned to see Ven standing in the doorway. "Ventus?" he asked in confusion, and the slightly older boy stepped into the room, approaching him slowly. They'd been the same age once, it was odd to be younger than those he shouldn't be.

"You're not leaving for good are you?" he asked, and Sora saw the worry in his eyes. Did he really think…?

Sora reached out and Ventus' eyes widened before he smiled, stepping into the hug and returning it. He closed his eyes, remembering what he'd done to reach Riku in his Nightmare, trying to reach out with his Heart to Ventus. He heard Ven gasp and then his grip tightened on him.

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"Sora…" Ventus held on tight as he felt Sora in a way he hadn't since they had separated.

His Heart had changed so much since then, but he was still Sora and he was reaching out, no matter how hard it was. He felt Sora go almost limp against him, one hand tangled in the back of his shirt.

"I'll always be here for you Sora, no matter what," he promised, reaching back with his own Heart, letting his Light sooth him, sensing the Darkness of deep guilt in Sora, even after his talks with Terra. Sora gasped, clinging on more tightly, almost recoiling but then hesitantly accepting what he was offering.

"Ven…"

"Hey, you healed my Heart after Vanitas was ripped from me and then sheltered me for a decade. Whatever you need to heal," he told him gently. He wished he could take Sora's Heart into his own to let him sleep and heal but he couldn't. And Riku might just kill him if he did since who knew how long that would take and keep him from them.

"But I did…"

"Nothing Sora, you did nothing. It was your body, nothing more, your Heart, your memories…everything that makes you, you, was gone. Like someone….using a Replica without a Heart in it to do tasks. No matter what your body did, none of the blame is yours."

"Even for killing people…for…for Assimilating them?" Sora gasped out, and Ven tightened his hold, shifting back to sit on the bed, pulling Sora down with him.

"It wasn't you. Just like it wasn't Terra who banished Ansem the Wise and corrupted the Apprentices into giving up their Hearts. Or possessed Riku and made him do horrible things. You are a Guardian of Light, Sora and that hasn't changed."

"But you can feel," Sora started.

"You've always had some Darkness, I remember Anti and Rage forms Sora. Everyone has Darkness of some kind, except the Seven Princesses anyway. And I can sense its cause too, it's guilt," he ran his fingers through brown spikes. "Some of it is envy, that others are free to feel and express themselves and you can't anymore and that's normal, so long as you don't let it consume you, but you know that."

Sora nodded slightly against his chest even as Ven closed his eyes and focused on what he was doing fully, distantly hearing someone enter the room but ignoring them to help Sora. He felt the distant tickle of awareness that was Roxas, felt his shock as he realised what Ventus was doing, then his offer to help. Roxas hesitantly reached for Sora who pulled back warily before tentatively responding, unsure. Ven gently soothed him and Sora relaxed again, letting Roxas' Heart touch him as well, the three of them more closely connected than they had been since the war.

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Riku walked into his room to see Sora curled into Ventus, both of them with their eyes closed and he realised Ven was trying to help Sora. He quietly moved about, finishing his own packing before sitting in the chair Kairi had slept in a few days ago. He hoped that Ventus could help with Sora's guilt, he had once sheltered within Sora's Heart after all.

He saw Ven raise his head, blinking as he refocused on the outside world. Ventus smiled at him and motioned him over, handing Sora to him gently once he was on the bed. "Let him sleep," he whispered. "Roxas and I have done what we can to help him."

"Roxas?"

"We have a faint connection," he shrugged slightly. "He felt me working with Sora and offered to help. Sora was hesitant but he accepted his presence, I think he'll be willing to see him next visit," Ven explained, stroking Sora's hair. He then looked up and smiled at Riku. "Look after him."

"Always," he swore.

Ventus grinned and then left the room.

Riku shifted to lie back, keeping Sora curled up on his chest. He could Dive into Sora's Heart and dreams but Ventus had once slept in his Heart and Roxas had been made from Sora, hopefully whatever they had done had helped Sora. He looked up as Kairi came to the door, frowning in concern, so he waved her over.

"Ventus and Roxas reached Sora's Heart," he murmured and her eyes widened, even as she joined them on the bed, and Riku shifted to settle Sora between them. They lay quietly together for a while before Sora began to stir. Riku stroked his hair gently and Kairi took his hand, letting him know they were there as he woke.

Sora's eyes slowly fluttered open, staring at them in sleepy confusion, and they smiled at him. "Wha…" he rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand, just like he used to as a kid. "Ven?"

"Left when his work was done and you were asleep since I was here," Riku told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "How do you feel?"

Sora moved to sit up so they moved to let him, sitting pressed against him. He frowned slightly, thinking things over, absently rubbing his Heart. "I…Roxas was here?"

Riku shook his head. "He felt you and Ventus connect and so reached out to help."

"Oh," Sora blinked. "I…I feel different…" he struggled to put it into words and Riku wrapped an arm around him.

"Lighter? Less burdened with guilt?" he suggest quietly.

Sora thought about it before nodding slowly.

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Kairi was relieved and decided she would have to do something very nice for Ven and Roxas. She could feel it, Sora was lighter than he had been, his load eased at least a little. She leant in and kissed his cheek and Sora turned his head, letting her kiss his lips softly. She smiled against his lips, keeping the contact soft, before pulling back. "I'm glad they could help," she whispered.

"So, what does one wear on a space ship?" she asked cheerfully, and Riku snorted, Sora smiling slightly.

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Riku checked his phone, finding files from Cid as well as Chip and Dale. It was good to know they'd gotten some work done before they left. They were taking bags full of supplies back with them too, fresh foods, seeds for the hydroponics bays, basic medical supplies, raw materials, anything they thought could be useful. He really did hope they could help Voyager get home, not just so Sora could have access to the larger medical facilities, but so that they would be out of danger. For everything they had gone through, they beyond deserved getting to go home.

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They stood in the courtyard, waiting for the trio who soon emerged from the castle, dressed for travelling, Sora wearing the cape again although this time the hood was down. Terra stepped forward, clasping a hand to Sora's shoulder, and he didn't flinch, meeting his eyes. "We'll miss you," he told the younger male, who nodded slowly. "Come back as soon as you want and for as long as you want. You will always have a home here Sora."

Sora blinked but then nodded, smiling at him. "Thank you."

Ventus moved forward and hugged Sora, the hug not hesitant like it had been the first day. Terra didn't overhear what the two said to each other and didn't try as he said goodbye to Riku and Kairi. Then Aqua moved forward to say her goodbyes as well, before the three boarded the ship and left.

"They'll be back," Ventus stared, and Terra wrapped an arm around his shoulders, hearing the slight tremor.

"They will," he agreed, even if it wasn't forever, they would come back.

Sora had come a long way in the few weeks he'd been with them and while he hadn't managed a spell or summoned his Keyblade, his Heart was far more at peace, even though he still had a lot of healing to do.

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"Captain, energy spike, five hundred kilometres to starboard," Harry suddenly called.

"On viewscreen," she ordered and then they watched as an energy spike they had seen twice before appeared. It vanished in a flash of light to reveal Riku's Glider and another, Kathryn assumed it was their third friend, Kairi. "Guide them in," she ordered and then stood to go and meet them. "Mr Paris, Mr Kim, with me."

TBC….