Disclaimer: not mine
Chapter 7
"S…Sora?" he whispered in shock. How was that possible? Kairi wouldn't have lied to him, especially when they were being locked apart for life and…Ansem had been far too gleeful when Sora had been gone from the group but Kairi awake. He took a step closer, taking in everything, hesitantly reaching a hand out to him but Sora just stared at him, no smile, nothing. Did…did he blame him?
"Sora is dead, I am all that was left behind." His voice was…dead…emotionless.
"What's happened to you? Why are you with them?" he asked, taking another step closer, Sora didn't move away so he took it as permission to approach. What did he mean he was dead?
Riku found they were practically eye to eye now and wondered if Sora was wearing heeled boots or something. He reached out and touched Sora's face, feeling flesh and blood beneath his fingers, proving he was real. His skin was warm and he could feel his breath standing so close.
"Talk to me Sora, please," he begged. "Do…do you blame me?"
Sora tilted his head slightly. "Why would you be to blame? You didn't hide Kairi's Heart in mine."
"And if I hadn't opened the door then she wouldn't have needed to do that," Riku pointed out.
"Blaming someone is an emotional response. You need a Heart to feel and mine is gone," Sora answered, and Riku gasped, staring at him with wide eyes.
"Your Heart…" his hand moved from Sora's cheek to his chest, pressing, he could feel the steady beating under the strange cloth of his coat.
"Sometimes, when a Heartless is formed the body doesn't just vanish. If the will is strong enough, the body remains and the soul gives it life. The memories of being a Somebody remain, but all that is left is a Nobody."
"No…no Sora," he denied, shaking his head.
It couldn't be, not Sora who had always been the brightest of them. Kairi might be the Princess, but Sora had always worn his Heart on his sleeve. He cupped Sora's face between his hands, staring into flat blue eyes, trying to find any trace of the Sora he knew, the Sora…the Sora he loved.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,
He stared into Riku's eyes, seeing only Riku, no trace of the being that had taken him over before. That was good, Riku was free, he could look after Kairi. Once reunited, they could live their lives and forget about him. His presence was causing Riku pain and that wasn't what he wanted. He never should have allowed Riku to keep him there, he should have vanished and protected him from the shadows like he'd planned. Then again, he knew both Kairi and Riku had spotted his Samurai's, so either his control over them was still lacking…or his want to see them again had bled over to the lesser Nobodies.
He knew what Riku was searching for and he knew he would be disappointed. Riku looked how he remembered from before the Islands were destroyed, before he fell under Maleficent's sway. How had Riku even recognised him though? He knew he looked different, sounded different. Maybe if he hadn't used the Keyblade then Riku wouldn't have cared who he was, might have said thanks and moved on to the next level.
Riku's hands were warm on his skin and it made him realise how little he had been touched since waking in Twilight Town. And when he was, it was always by hands covered in gloves and on his own coat. It felt strange but…nice? He found his own hand lifting to cover one of Riku's but then lifted it and slowly pulled the glove off before putting his hand back, shivering slightly in reaction to the sensations it caused. Marluxia had actually been the one to explain that a lack of emotion did not affect their ability to feel physical sensations, even pleasure…he'd had to after Sora had walked in on him and Larxene in a situation that would have had his Mother telling them off soundly. Was that what he was feeling? Physical pleasure at being touched after so long?
"Did that hurt?" Riku asked in alarm, and Sora shook his head.
"No one's touched me since I woke," he admitted. "Not to my skin."
"Why are you with them Sora? Why didn't you try and find Kairi? I guess you figured I was gone, but she wouldn't turn you away."
"The Superior found me immediately. I had no weapon, was barely able to function, when he told me to go with him I had no choice Riku. And once you're in, there's no leaving the Organisation. My being here is a test, if I fail he will destroy me or worse, turn me into a Dusk. They think I have no memory and they have to keep thinking that for everyone's safety," he explained.
"What's the Organisation?" Riku asked, and Sora shook his head.
"I can't tell you, they'd know it was me," he told him.
"Sora…" Riku whispered, something Sora couldn't identify in his voice.
"You have to go Riku and you can't tell anyone about this. Kairi knows, Axel told her. He's the only one who knows the truth about my memory. He's been helping me train so that one day I can run and have a chance of making it."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"So run now Sora; you, me, and Kairi, surely we're strong enough together to keep you safe," he told him. Sora had the Keyblade, so did Kairi, and he had his own skills. Add in Donald and Goofy and they had a good sized team, surely it would be enough. "Please Sora, stay."
"Why?" Sora asked him, and that hurt. "Why would you want me with you? Just a reminder of what you've lost."
"You're not a reminder Sora, you're still you," he told him firmly.
Heart or no Heart, Sora had killed a fellow member to save him, had stayed when he could have vanished. Unable to feel emotion or not, the memories were strong enough to keep Sora there and talking to him. He'd rather have this Sora with them, then to not have him at all. He leant in, pressing their foreheads together, closing his eyes to just breath and soak in Sora's presence. He realised then that he couldn't feel him, it wasn't something he'd been consciously aware of before leaving the Islands, nowadays he was so used to being able to feel others Hearts. Sora was as much a blank spot as the others here had been…although he also didn't stink of Darkness like they did, there was a definite scent of it to him, but not as strong as with the others. Because he was only a new Nobody? Would it grow stronger over time? It wasn't like Sora had a Heart to corrupt anymore, so did it matter?
He opened his eyes to find Sora had closed his own, his face utterly calm. What could he sense from him? Could he sense anything without a Heart of his own? He gently stroked warm skin with his fingers and Sora's eyes fluttered open. He could almost imagine emotion in his eyes for a second.
"Stay with us Sora, please." He would beg if that helped.
"Riku, I," he stopped, gaze distant. "Marluxia…" he whispered and then he stepped back, putting his glove back one. "Kairi is facing Marluxia." He held his hand out, and Riku didn't hesitate to take it. Darkness overtook him for a few seconds and then they were in a room with Kairi, Donald, Goofy, and three strangers.
"Roxas!" the pink haired male said to Sora, confusing Riku. "What are you doing?"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Naminé looked to where Riku had just arrived with another Organisation member…one she could sense. This was Sora's Nobody? He didn't look like Sora, then again she looked different to Kairi. He had let go of Riku's hand as they arrived but she could tell Riku wanted to take it again. Didn't he know what his friend had become? She looked at him…Marluxia had called him Roxas…meeting dull blue eyes. He wasn't even faking emotion like the others did. And yet he was with Riku, why? Whose side would he take?
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Riku!" Kairi cried out in utter relief as she saw him safe and free of the Realm of Darkness.
He looked at her and smiled. "Kairi, you alright?" he asked, and she nodded.
Her eyes went to the person beside Riku, for a second she thought it was...but that was impossible. He was blond and wearing one of the black coats which made him an enemy, and yet he'd brought Riku.
"Roxas!" Marluxia demanded, and the blond turned to him but didn't answer him.
"Axel?" he asked instead, and the redhead nodded.
"Yeah," he summoned his chakrams and the blond shocked her by summoning not one but two Keyblades.
"Traitors!" Marluxia snarled.
Riku called Soul Eater and Kairi copied him, relieved when Marluxia shoved Naminé aside instead of continuing to use her as a human shield.
"You're the traitor Marluxia, and I have my orders," Axel told the other male who summoned a massive scythe.
,,,,,,,,,,,,
Sora dodged an explosion of pink petals, burning them away. He saw a second Riku appear, but ignored him when all he did was move to shield the blond girl. That had to be Naminé, who he had heard the others speak of…and her ability with memories. What had she done to Kairi? She still recognised Riku which was good so what had Naminé done to her memory?
Marluxia vanished, appearing behind Riku and Sora moved, vanishing as well, getting between them, feeling the pain of the scythe digging deep into his shoulder, down towards his chest.
"Sora!" Riku cried out in horror as Sora staggered back, dropping one of his Keyblades which vanished. He felt Riku grab him, pulling him back, shadowy power surrounding them, shielding them, as Kairi, Donald and Goofy attacked in unison. "Sora can you take potions?" Riku asked, and he nodded, opening his mouth when a bottle was pressed to his lips.
The pain immediately faded and he could feel the wound knitting back together…Riku panting at his back. "Drop the shield Riku," he told him, straightening up, and the shadows faded, Riku staggering behind him. He turned, wrapping an arm around his waist, and then they were across the room where the Replica and other Nobody were sheltering. "Stay with them Riku, rest."
"Sora…" Riku slumped on the floor, breathing heavily.
"I'll be fine," he promised and then returned to the fight.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Kairi was focused on the fight, grateful that Axel's fire was helping contain the master of the castle. It was hard though, after hearing Riku's scream of Sora's name, the way he had gone to the blond boy and healed him, protected him at the cost of his own strength. That was impossible, wasn't it? Sora was dead, she'd seen…she shook her head, she had to focus!
Marluxia gasped and Kairi panted, her Keyblade slashing through him only to meet another coming from the opposite side and as he faded into shadows and petals she looked up blue eyes. The one Marluxia had called Roxas but Riku called Sora…and she knew that Keyblade, it was Sora's…
"Sora?" she whispered in shock even as his Keyblade vanished, her own following. "Sora…is it really…"
"Kairi," he whispered, and she threw herself at him, crying. He caught her but it felt awkward, even as she held on tight to him. Something felt wrong though, he was barely holding her in return, it felt stiff and his voice…
"Take it easy on him Princess, he's still learning to fake it," Axel called, confusing her.
She pulled back a bit, glancing at the redhead and then up at Sora, finding he was taller than she remembered. His eyes…they were…empty, emotionless, and that scared her. He touched her face with a gloved hand when she tensed.
"I won't hurt you," he whispered.
"Sora, what's happened to you?" she asked shakily.
"Sora?" Donald demanded. "Kairi, that isn't Sora!" he yelled.
"We fought over landing in Deep Jungle, it was you who caused the crash when you wrenched the controls too far to the left," Sora answered, stunned silence meeting his words.
"But…but…Sora's dead. We saw him," Donald stammered.
"Stab myself with the Keyblade to free Kairi's Heart," he finished for him. "You're right Donald, Sora is dead. His Heart is gone, I'm what's left of his body, mind, and soul."
Kairi stared up at him, horrified, no Heart? "Sora? You...you know us," she pleaded.
He pulled off his gloves and then touched her face again, his skin warm against hers. "I remember the first time I saw you, the first time we met, taking you to the Play Island, the raft, everything," he promised but where once his voice would have been warm with those memories, now it was empty. "I remember everything Kairi, even how I felt, I just can't feel it anymore."
"And yet he's still got more morals than the whole Organisation," Axel muttered. "For some reason he can take those memories and use them to regulate his reactions and behaviour in a way most of us can't. Even if he still isn't very good at faking actually feeling those emotions."
Sora shrugged slightly, looking over at the redhead. "Maybe not, but the zombie act is keeping the Superior off my back."
Kairi pressed her hand to Sora's bringing his attention back to her. "Why do you look different?"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Goofy watched Kairi and Sora…was it really him? He knew things only Sora should, had his Keyblade…but this wasn't the boy they had spent months travelling the Worlds with. He wasn't like how Riku had been either, thankfully, and yet in some ways this was worse. Riku may have been blinded by jealousy and anger…but at least he'd been able to feel. To have no Heart…surely that was a fate worse than death. Even without his Heart, something of their Sora remained, he was being gentle with Kairi, maybe as gentle as he understood how to be now, he could have been cruel and cold, but he was trying. Would it be better if he could fake emotions like the rest of them had apparently been doing?
Donald seemed far more wary, but that was what he was good at. He'd watch Sora until he was absolutely positive.
"It's Sora, he saved me from another one of them," Riku murmured, and Goofy looked over at him, relieved to see him looking better, though worried about the way he'd shielded Sora, that had looked rather Dark. But his eyes were clear and the emotion in them easy to read; guilt, pain…and joy every time he glanced at Sora and Kairi. This was the boy who had helped the King close the door, the one Sora and then Kairi had been so determined to save.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Riku pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the Replica since it hadn't done anything threatening. It was strange that it looked like him but if it was capable of learning and feeling then who was he to say it didn't have a right to exist too? He walked over to Kairi and Sora, accepting the hug from Kairi and hugging her back just as tightly.
"I'm so sorry Kairi, for everything."
She surprised him by kissing his cheek. "It's okay," she told him, letting go but keeping hold of his hand even as Axel spoke up, explaining that sometimes Nobodies had differences to their Somebody and he even said it may have been partially because of Kairi's presence when he lost his Heart. That had Kairi hugging Sora again and at least this time he did a better job at returning the embrace. Would it be better if he faked emotion or to see him as he truly was now?
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Axel watched the reunions, absently wondering if his own family would have been as accepting, if they were still alive. He had no way to know what happened to them after their home was destroyed and he didn't actually care but it might be good to know. Then again, the Superior was hardly going to find them to use against him even if he did learn of Axel's betrayals.
"Okay, I get it, this is very emotional for everyone here with a Heart, but we need to sort some things out and fast. Sora, what happened to Zexion?"
"I destroyed him, he was attacking Riku to kill," Sora answered.
"Which means we're the only two left in the Castle, not counting Naminé. Speaking of, what exactly did you do to their memories? Marluxia wanted Sora replaced with you," he looked at her.
"I didn't replace Sora, all I did was add myself as well. The next step was then meant to be erasing him but I was stalling as long as I could," she admitted. "Other memories have been damaged though, the creating of the room cards did that. The damage to Riku is not so bad since he wasn't also under the effects of my powers but the other three, and visited fewer rooms…I'm sorry Kairi. Like I said before, I can fix the damage."
"What about him?" Kairi motioned to the Replica.
"I'm a fake. I can't remember why I was created or where or when... All that's inside of me… is time with you and Naminé. But I know those memories are not real," the Replica answered, staying close to Naminé who lay a gentle hand on his arm. Did they really care about a fake person created to replace their friend? Wow, Axel really was way out of touch with how Somebodies thought.
"Vexen created you from data collected during my battle with Riku," Sora spoke up. "At first you had Riku's real memories, I know Vexen took you to face Kairi, I never heard anything about you after that."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Riku stared at him and then looked at Naminé, "You said you can fix their memories, can you fix his too?" that obviously surprised the Replica, but he couldn't blame him for doing what he had been made to and he'd obviously grown beyond that. He'd chosen to protect Naminé after all.
"Well, I…"
"It's all right. I'll deal," he moved away from them all, heading for the doors.
"Wait!" Kairi called, and he paused. "Who cares if someone created you? You are you and nobody else. You have your own Heart inside you. Those feelings and memories are yours and yours alone. They're special!"
He turned to stare at her before his lips twitched in a small smile. "Kairi, you're a wonderful person. I don't have to be real to see how real your feelings are. That's good enough," and with that he vanished.
Riku saw Sora tilt his head slightly, eyes locked on where he'd been, and he got the feeling Sora was tracking him somehow. Good, hopefully they could find him again and at least make sure he had somewhere safe to stay.
"Now the question is, am I reporting poor Roxas lost in action, perhaps heroically cut down by the traitorous Marluxia, or are we concocting a story as to why we're the only two survivors?" the redhead apparently called Axel asked. Riku wasn't sure he liked the abrasive man, but it seemed he was on Sora's side at least.
"What do you mean, Sora's staying with us now," Kairi looked at Sora for confirmation.
"No one leave the Organisation alive, Kairi," he told her.
"Why'd you do something so stupid! You lost your Heart not your brain!" Donald snapped at him.
"Which is why I joined. I was unarmed and disorientated, I'd barely gotten my memory back but I knew how powerful Xemnas was as soon as I saw him. If I had said no he would have destroyed me then and there. I always planned to run once I could."
"I convinced him to stay as long as he has, got it memorised?" Axel drew their attention to him. "He wouldn't have lasted a week back then. So no, he didn't desert you or anything. Even without a Heart the crazy kid was planning on tracking you three down to make sure you were safe."
"I'm not crazy," Sora argued.
"Hmm, better, almost sounded like there was a little emotion there," Axel smirked at him.
Riku found himself smiling slightly, even without a Heart, Sora could still make friends out of anyone. "How long will it take to fix their memories?" he asked.
"I'm not sure…a few months at least," Naminé looked down as she admitted it. "You have a choice to make too."
"But you said the damage wasn't that bad," he frowned.
"It's not your memories, it's your Darkness. In Your heart there is Darkness, and in that Darkness is Ansem. He may be at bay for now-but eventually he'll wake, and he will take over you just like he did before. But I have powers you can use. With my powers, I can put a tight lock on your Heart. That way, Ansem could never come out from inside you," she explained and it was very tempting but…
"What happens to me if I let you do that?"
"The Darkness in you will be sealed tight just like your memory. You'll stop remembering the Darkness. You'll go back to how you were. Riku, please choose."
"You mean I'll forget everything since the Islands?" he asked, and she nodded. He closed his eyes, feeling Kairi grab his hand. "I can't do that." He looked at Kairi and then Sora. He knew that if he forgot, he would never be able to understand this Sora, would be suspicious of him. He'd probably be jealous of them both having Keyblades too. "I don't need my Heart locked. I'm ready…I'm gonna fight Ansem," he told them.
"But what if his Darkness overtakes you?" Kairi asked, and he squeezed her hand.
"If that happens, then the Darkness will show me the way."
"Yes... That's true," Naminé agreed.
"Guess we have a plan then. I can give you lot a few days before I report in but you better be out of here by then," Axel warned.
"Then we need to move the pods somewhere no one will think to look," Sora pointed out. Pods? But Naminé was nodding so she knew what he meant.
"Twilight Town," Axel said, and Sora looked at him. "Right under their noses, there's plenty of places to hide and we come and go so much they won't be able to track your Corridors even if they did pick up on them."
"They'll need a ship though, they can't use the Corridors unless you know a shop that sells coats?" Sora asked his friend.
"Cid might have one, if we can find them," Kairi pointed out. "They…they said it was their home…the place with the crazy castle…" she was obviously struggling to remember and that scared him, the first proof he'd seen that their memories had been messed with. She looked at Sora. "Where you…" she motioned to his chest.
"Hollow Bastion," Sora gave her the name of the World.
"Right, we've got enough of a plan to get the heavy work done so let's start," Axel clapped his hands. "Let's get the equipment moved and set up...hmm, the old mansion?" he asked Sora who thought about it before nodding. "Shall we?" he waved at the doors and they headed for them.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Sora plugged in the last cord and the pods hummed to life. Who knew there was some kind of hidden lab under the mansion? They'd checked and there was nothing to indicate the Organisation knew about it thankfully. It had taken two days but everything was ready.
"To remember again, we have to sleep in that?" Goofy asked, and Sora looked over at him.
"Yes, it will make Naminé's work easier.
"Gawrsh, when we wake up, we won't remember who she is anymore or…or that you're Sora," he frowned.
"Riku will know and can explain, preferably before you hit me with your shield," he tried to tease and Goofy chuckled.
"We really have missed ya, Sora," he clapped him on the shoulder. "You won't leave, will ya?"
"I'll be coming and going while you're sleeping probably. I'll only leave for good if it looks like they've found me. I won't lead the Organisation to you," he promised, even as the others walked in. Axel was gone, going to report in on how they had all died in the mess of Marluxia's rebellion. Donald and Goofy got in the smaller pods and Naminé stayed by them, giving the three of them the illusion of privacy but he knew her senses were as good as his own.
Kairi walked up to him and hugged him so he hugged her back, he'd gotten used to the move since they were reunited. "Stay safe, please," she whispered and he nodded. He blinked a soft lips were suddenly pressed to his, a hand in his hair, and he felt goosebumps break out on his skin. Hesitantly, he kissed back, one hand resting on her waist and it felt good, physically good at least. No wonder he'd caught those two that time, if this was the closest they could get to actually feeling emotion then he was surprised he hadn't found all the members involved in such activities at some point.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Kairi was surprised when Sora kissed her back, holding her even. She'd thought he'd accept it like he had everything else – the hugs and small touches over the last two days. But he was really kissing her back and seemed to be enjoying it…oh. She pulled back and saw she was right, he found the act physically pleasurable, but there was no real emotion in it. he surprised again by stroking her hair and for a second, his eyes seemed to soften with emotion but then it was gone. Was it possible? Maybe…if his Heartless had been destroyed at Hollow Bastion…was it possible for his Heart to return to him?
She leant in and kissed him again briefly. "I love you," she whispered against his lips, knowing he'd hear her. He'd held nothing back when questioned about Nobodies, she knew his senses were a lot better, his body more durable…which proved just how damaging Marluxia's scythe had been to have knocked him out of the fight even briefly.
She hated that they'd have to go through all of it again, that when she woke she would be back to thinking Sora was gone. "You better be here when I wake up." She told him and he smiled for her. It wasn't like how he used to, but it was better than him being blank.
He pulled her close again, lips near her ear. "I know how I should feel about you, I remember it, I just never knew how to say it," he whispered, and her heart soared even as it broke.
"Don't, not now Sora. You wait until you can say it and mean it because I know one day you will," she told him, and he nodded.
"What about Riku?" he asked, and she started slightly. "I felt the same for both of you," he admitted and she hugged him tight.
"If he's willing to hear it, then tell him. I think that was part of the problem."
"He was jealous because he thought we were leaving him behind." Sora agreed. It was amazing how well Sora could pinpoint events and emotions in his memories…having no Heart had realty changed how he thought and analysed things. And yet she'd still rather have her goofy, loving, Sora back. She would never turn him away for how he had changed though. "You should kiss him too."
She giggled at that and nodded. "Goodnight Sora."
"Goodnight Kairi."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Riku watched Sora and Kairi, saw how he responded to her kiss, the way they whispered…he could almost pretend it was the old Sora...even though it hurt to see them like that. He heard her tell Sora goodnight and then she walked to him and hugged him hard, and he couldn't help hugging her back. She then shocked him totally by kissing him the same way she had Sora…and he realised quickly why Sora had kissed back. But then he came to his senses and tried to gently push her away.
"Oh Riku, you never needed to be jealous," she told him and he stared at her in confusion. "When we finally get home, we'll need to work out how to split a Paopu three ways. Unless you don't want us?"
Us? He stared at her and then Sora who was watching them, proving how good his hearing now was by nodding.
"I love you Riku," she whispered before moving towards the pod.
He watched her go in shock and then a hand took his and Riku clung on. They watched as the pod closed around her and Kairi feel asleep and then he turned to Sora. "Sora?"
Sora stared at him, holding his hand and then he nodded. "I loved you both Riku, I just didn't know how to say it or show it properly. It doesn't matter now, I can't feel it anymore, I know I should but there's nothing there. You and Kairi can be happy together, I'll stay away."
"No," Riku shook his head. "Don't you dare leave. Maybe you can't feel it right now, but there has to be some way to get your Heart back and we'll find it. and even if we can't…then a memory is better than nothing. I saw you kiss her, you liked it."
"Physical sensations aren't emotions," Sora pointed out.
"Which is why you can still feel pain," Riku nodded. Would it work if Sora was going off only a memory of the emotion? He'd still come after them, still sided with them, and that gave him hope that somewhere deep down, Sora could feel something. He hugged him, holding Sora close, and Sora hugged him back. Riku wasn't ready to try kissing him just yet but Sora let him hold on for as long as he wanted.
He'd never imagined that they could both love him, he'd like to go back and smack himself on the back of the head for being a blind idiot. If only he had seen…Sora would still be himself and not a Nobody.
He finally let go and stepped back, not surprised to find Naminé had slipped away once the pods were working. Kairi looked so peaceful as she floated within the central one and it hurt that they didn't know exactly how long she'd be in there. At least he wouldn't be alone. He looked at Sora and smiled, he looked more like himself without the coat on and they'd actually snuck into town to buy him different clothing to that he'd woken in. that way anyone just catching a glimpse wouldn't immediately recognise him.
He knew they would be leaving, returning to Castle Oblivion if it was still safe, because he needed somewhere easily containable to face Ansem. At least Sora should agree to destroy him if the worst should happen and maybe if it did, he'd end up like Sora and be able to stay with him.
They ran from the room as they heard Naminé's startled cry, reaching the stairs up to the main level with weapons in hand.
Riku stopped and stared in shock. "Mickey?"
TBC…