Chapter 14 - A dingbat and a ferret walk into a bar

December 22, 1996

Dear Hermione,

Sorry we didn't get a chance to talk after Slughorn's party the other night. Thanks for going to that with me, by the way.

But something happened after I left and I feel like I need to tell you about it as soon as possible. Just because of the whole Halloween thing and whatever you have going on that you're not telling us. Anyway, since I probably shouldn't send this in a letter, I'll try to write in code.

So, a dingbat and a ferret walk into a bar… And I was listening outside the door of the bar because — I don't know, I'm too young to go to bars or something. I'm terrible at this. Anyway, the dingbat was trying to do the thing to the ferret. You know the thing the dingbat tried to teach me last year but I was really bad at? But it seems like the ferret is good at it, so the dingbat couldn't see what he was hiding.

But then the dingbat offered to help the ferret, but the ferret said he didn't need it, that it was his job and "he" gave it to him. Referring to the noseless he, of course. Or that's what it sounded like he meant. Anyway. Apparently, the ferret has a plan for doing whatever it is, and he thinks it's going to work, it's just taking longer than he thought it would. And he won't let the dingbat help, even though the dingbat promised the ferret's mother he would, because the ferret doesn't want him stealing his glory.

I don't know, Hermione. It all sounded really suspicious to me. Just more evidence that the ferret is doing something dangerous. I know you didn't think he could be a you-know-what –– but what if he is?

I just wanted you to know. I know you'll make smart choices, but better to have all the information, right? If this even counts as information. Let me know if it makes sense, yeah?

I'm all settled in at the Burrow, everyone's here - Fred and George, and Bill and Fleur, and Remus is coming tomorrow. We miss you, but it's great that you're seeing your parents.

I'll see you in a couple weeks!

Love,

Harry

December 23, 1996

Dear Harry,

Thank you for your letter. I thought it was very interesting, though you know I don't condone hanging around outside "bars".

Not sure what to make of the professor's role in all this (I refuse to call him a dingbat, it's really quite rude) but I also don't know if what our classmate said is entirely new information. We suspected as much, right?

Anyway, we can talk about all this in person in the New Year. Much safer than sending letters.

Have fun at the Burrow! Try not to worry too much about any of this - just enjoy your holiday. I've included my gifts for you and Ron and Ginny in with this letter, as well as some of my mum's sugar-free cookies – Hedwig should enjoy them, anyway.

Merry Christmas!

Love,

Hermione

December 26, 1996

Dear Theo,

It was so nice to see you yesterday, even if I wish the circumstances were different. Let's not meet up at the hospital again next Christmas, yeah?

Gran thought you seemed like — and I quote — "a very nice young man." That's high praise, coming from her. Sorry I introduced you as a friend. I want to tell her the truth. I will. Soon. (I think.)

I felt awful leaving you at the hospital. Thinking of you having to stay there or go back to your big empty house… I just hope you're okay. Make sure you eat lots of sweets and drink plenty of hot chocolate and stay toasty warm.

Miss you loads,

Neville

December 26, 1996

Dear Neville,

Thanks for your note. I miss you already.

I for one am glad we met at the hospital. It meant I got to meet your parents, and that was amazing. Amazing's not the right word. Special maybe. Or meaningful? Anyway, I'm glad I met them.

I'm so, so sorry you didn't get to grow up with them properly. I can tell they love you, even if they can't say it. And I'm so, so ashamed of my father and everyone like him. It's not right that he got to be healthy, rich, and influential for all those years while your parents were suffering in the hospital. He might not have been one of the ones who tortured them, but I know he did things just as bad or worse.

I'm not brave like you, but I think I want to be. It's time to choose a side in all this, and I'm on yours.

In less dramatic news, I'm sending half your Christmas present along with this letter. Sorry it's a day late, but it took me a while to find it. The manor library is pretty huge, but I knew it was in there somewhere. Anyway - it's a first edition of One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi. I think it's like 600 years old?

Enjoy!

Theo

P.S. Yes, I did say that was only half your present, didn't I? The other half has to be given in person, if you know what I mean. Wink.

P.P.S. Tell your Gran I think she seems like "a very scary old lady."

P.P.P.S. Please don't actually, I don't want her to kill me. But do tell her about us whenever you're ready. No rush.

G,

Happy belated Christmas.

M.

January 1, 1997

Dear Neville,

He's dead. It happened last night.

Quite the way to ring in the new year. I hope it's not an omen.

Before you ask, I'm doing okay. The healers are taking care of everything and being really helpful. They even sent a mind healer to come talk to me this morning. Which wasn't much help, since I didn't feel like I could be honest with her about how I felt. Not that I even know how I feel. It was a nice gesture, anyway.

I found a letter in his drawer. He must have written it during the few days he was awake last month.

I thought it might be for me. It's stupid, but I was hoping it might be an apology or something.

It's not. It's for Lucius Malfoy. The only part of it for me is a little note on the outside saying that I should send the letter as soon as possible after he died. Not sure if I'll do it or not.

But like I said — I'm fine. Don't worry about me, honestly.

See you in a couple days,

Theo

January 2, 1997

Dear Theo,

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you're going through.

It's okay if you're fine, but it's also okay if you're not. Feel whatever you need to feel. I'll be here for you no matter what.

I talked to a mind healer a couple of times last summer, after the thing at the Ministry. It really helped. So, if you get a chance to try talking to someone again, I would recommend it. But up to you.

I wish I could do something to make this better. Or at least bring you a cup of tea and give you a hug.

I'll do both in a couple days.

Neville

December 7, 1996

My dear Lucius,

I expect this will be my last opportunity to write. I don't have long. I'm thankful, at least, to not be dying in that awful prison. I suspect that place may be worse than death and I fervently wish that you and all our compatriots will be released within due course, as is right.

I will leave this letter with my son and hope that he has enough sense and family loyalty left within him to deliver it to you unread and with haste. It is a gamble, given the disappointment the boy has been these many years.

But my purpose of writing is not only to say goodbye and to wish you well.

I must confess to having knowledge I was never meant to have. I suspect it is this knowledge, more so than my failure at the Ministry, that has landed me here, poisoned. I believe you may have this knowledge as well, though perhaps not the full extent.

The Dark Lord has several vitally important objects that require the utmost protection. I became aware of the existence of these objects shortly after his return to us. I told him that I knew of his secret and pledged to protect it with all my heart.

Initially, I was rewarded for my cleverness. He informed me that I would be given one of the objects for safe keeping — a small golden goblet, to be kept in my secure vault at Gringotts bank. After the trouble at the Ministry, he rescinded the offer in favour of Bellatrix. The Lestrange vault, after all, is equally secure.

However, I am concerned. Though the vault may be secure, its owner is not. She is most unstable, and although our Lord may trust her, it is my belief that this trust is misplaced, driven more by his affections for her — and what she can offer him that the rest of us cannot — than by her abilities.

I believe that you too were once given an object to keep safe. A diary. It is my hope in writing to you that you will see this as an opportunity to make up for your failure with the diary by doing whatever you can to ensure the safety of the object currently under Bellatrix's care.

It is of the utmost importance to the Dark Lord and to the cause, and therefore, to me. It is my deepest concern, as my death approaches, that we are not defeated.

I regret terribly my many failures in service to the cause, but I can never regret my support of it, nor can I be distressed to have died in its name.

Give my love to Narcissa and dear Draco. It has been a privilege to serve alongside you these many years. I wish you a long and full life, my friend.

Protect the cup. Do not lose sight of the greater good for which we fight.

Sincerely,

Theodore Nott II

January 2, 1997

Draco,

So, Father died yesterday.

I'm back at the house, and will be breaking out several of what are now my very own 500 year old bottles of firewhisky. Come over if you can.

Theo

January 3, 1997

Theo,

Do you think the age of a firewhisky is directly proportional to the fuckishness of the hangover? Because I have a theory.

Also, your new elf is a smashing delight and we should invite him to all our parties from now on.

Also also, fuck your father. Seriously. I always knew it was bad, but what you told me last night was worse than I thought. I'm not the least bit sorry he's dead and you don't have to be either.

You're free. Take his money and use it for things he would hate. Do unspeakable things with Longbottom all over his house. Or burn his fucking house to the ground. Whatever you want. You are free.

In fact, as your friend, I demand that you make the most of it. For my sake. I'll live vicariously through you, since I've never been less free. I'm not even free to talk about it – and you can stop asking now, if I managed to keep it to myself that deep into the firewhisky, you'll never get it out of me.

Or the name of the girl. I'm not free to talk about that, either.

I'll shut up now, none of this is about me. Go destroy some heirlooms or something.

Draco

January 4, 1997

Dear Pansy,

Sorry to write to you like this. I hope you won't get in trouble with your parents for getting a letter from me.

But I think I figured something out and I really need to talk to someone about it. You, specifically.

Is there any way you can get back to school early? Maybe on Saturday? Or early Sunday morning before everyone else? I hate to ask, but we're going to need total privacy for this.

Sorry again,

Hermione

A/N:

Dear readers,

Thank you for your support. Sending each of you a gift basket, just as soon as I can find an owl.

Love,
Diana

P.S. You can assume the conversation between the Dingbat and the Ferret proceeded as per canon (HBP, Ch 15 "The Unbreakable Vow")

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Dear Sunshine_celine,

I think you are a "very excellent beta". Your enthusiasm for this chapter was life-giving.

Love,
Diana